#the Caine universe is expanding

[s-s-spinning-coins-s-s]

6x3 animatic! Had a lot of fun with this one-! Spoilers under the cut!!!

Staring:

MAMC—> @s-s-spinning-coins-s-s (me)

AI!Abstracted—> @galactic-knightmare

RC—> @17-noodlebird

NW—> @funnyguy788

RWR(s)—> @the-spam-specialist

TBZ—> @spark-hearts2

Show (cannon Caine)—> @llamaflower

[vivalafxxku]

Gotham Protects Her Own

Sentient Gotham City AU where She is protective of Her protectors.

Sure She is limited in how much She can manipulate without disturbing the balance of the universe but She does what She can. Fatal bullets veer off trajectory by a few, injuries heal quicker, potholes and terrain trip up fleeing criminals, and assailants never find them when they need a moment of reprieve due to exhaustion, injury, etc.

Sadly, She cannot do anything for Her protectors outside the borders of the city.

She fumes when the clown incapacitates Her Princess. She mourns when link to (at the time) youngest, Her Sunshine, is severed. She cries as Her Wings suffers outside her walls, threatening to be clipped, just out of reach. She cooes when a new bird insists on joining her Knight, followed by another Princess (or 2), a Little Prince and a Lightbearer. She whines at the straining connection to Her Knight that led to Her protectors scattering in the wind. She rejoices when they return to Her. She extends Her protection over the expanding family Her Knight collected.

Because She is Gotham and Gotham protects Her own.

Anyway I just think the idea is cool since the Batfam seems to suffer way more when they're not in Gotham (revised: this is really only true for Dick and Damian kinda, not really, idk let it be for the sake of the idea.)

Also I think Gotham would name Her protectors

Martha Wayne = Her Empress

Thomas Wayne = Her Emperor

Bruce Wayne = Her Prince -> Her Knight

Alfred Pennyworth = Her Loyalty

Jim Gordon = Her King

Dick Grayson = Her Wings

Barbara Gordon = Her Princess

Jason Todd = Her Sunshine -> Her Moonlight

Tim Drake = Her Determination

Stephanie Brown = Her Chaos

Damian Wayne = Her Little Prince

Cassandra Cain = Her Shadow

Duke Thomas = Her Lightbearer

Eventually, Gotham adopts the Sirens too

Harley Quin = Her Jester

Selina = Her Queen

Ivy = Her Garden

[time-like-tears-in-rain]

So this one^ takes place AFTER the movie Alien 3, it's not favorite writing in the expanded universe, and it's not *exactly* a fix it, but if you're looking for a good synthetic/AI/android story its solid, and also a VERY easy jumping on point to the chaotic expanded universe titles since its technically a stand-alone.

HOWEVER...... I have two more for u.

So Alien 3 went through several scripts before the final one, the more storied being by William Fucking Gibson, successor to Phillip K. Dick's cyberpunk throne. It was never produced, and eventually leaked online. A graphic novel version was released as part of the Alien 40th publications but it....wasn't great. Pat Cadigan, an author in her own right and not just a tie-in author (and one of the Alien 'verse's few women) developed it into a novel more recently.

I have my issues with it, namely Ripley not being around (but at least she's alive and could be in a follow up), but the new characters mesh well with both Alien and Aliens, it feels like a honest follow up to BOTH movies, and also Hicks and Bishop are in one piece well they're alive at least, and both get POV chapters. For the love of Giger get them a trauma therapist after this. Newt is also still alive, which is my biggest point of loathing for the A3 movie we actually got.

Then there's Bug Hunt which came out several years ago: it's a collection of short stories giving origin stories, prequel shorts, and side quests regarding the crew of the Sulaco and some new roles as well. The late, great Rachel Caine (whose lengthy resume includes punk vampires, sentient space ships, high fantasy, and murder mysteries) wrote Bishop's origins which give a Blade-Runner-bleak look at the synthetics industry. This story also got a subtle shout out in Alien: Romulus.

Fandom hates her: Incredibly lucky woman falls in love with niche character from a 40yr old franchise and discovers that an entire canon book about them was published only a year prior.

We used to pray for days like these.

[lambilegs]

does it happen in a season? (part one: FALL)

in her senior year of university, lee is ready for nothing more but yet another monotonous cycle of meeting her new roommate, adjusting, then living in separate spheres for the rest of the year. the last thing she's prepared for is: curiosity.

next chapter (WINTER)

soundtrack: lapit - yeng constantiono; thinking about you - radiohead; whisper - piggy (specifically the subway scene); knuckle velvet - ethel cain; reflecting light - sam phillips; fade into you - mazzy star

(contains: college!au lee harker, set in the nineties, slowburn as FUCK cannot even exaggerate, 10.3K of y'all literally just achieving acquaintanceship, lots of pining. content warning for: brief mention of blood (can be interpreted as period blood or otherwise), weed, religion jokes, brief conversation about serial killers + motivations, anxiety)

----

AUTUMN. SOMETIME IN THE 1990s.

lee isn’t looking forward to this month. it’s her last year of university, so she knows she ought to be feeling a little more optimistic. but, truly, all she’s feeling is the dread of having to meet and adapt to a new roommate – a process which can span from a few weeks to an entire semester, depending on the person. back when she was a freshman, she was convinced that by the time she reached senior year, she’d have gotten used to this. but, no, it feels just as daunting and uncomfortable as usual. maybe even worse. when she was a freshman, her only experience of a housemate had been her mom. now, four years later, her experiences with roommates had spanned from mediocre to downright unbearable. so, maybe that’s what has soured her expectations.

when she meets you, she’s in the middle of assembling her desk, on her knees and lip bitten in concentration. you had arrived a week earlier than her, and had already set up most of your things. on the phone, you told her that all you needed was to finally bring in your clothes, and, well, yourself. 

she doesn’t really know what to think of you. you greet her, introduce yourself and smile when she gives you her name. after asking her if she needs help with her desk, you waddle on your feet for a bit, clutching onto your bag, an awkward silence flooding into the room. she ignores it, focusing on the task at hand, pointedly avoiding eye contact with you. she’s already feeling the tension of the silence seeping into her, and she doesn’t really want let it expand through silently staring at each other.

after a few seconds, she hears the soft thumps of your footsteps as you walk away, and lets out a breath of relief. at least the first meeting is done with, and now, you two can live in what will hopefully be in amicable quiet.

–

you shut the door, back braced against it. god, your roommate is hot. you’re not exactly sure what to do with this information. surely, even if you manage to discover whether or not she’s into women, you can’t do anything about it. you’re certain there's some sort of unspoken rule to not romantically pursue your roommate – not that a lot of people follow that. or maybe you just move in some really weird circles.

you pad over to your bed, the distance barely anything with how small your bedroom is. flopping onto the mattress, you stare up at the ceiling. class starts in a matter of days, and while part of you eagerly welcomes in the comforting cycle of the school year, you can’t help but itch and yearn for the summer days. nothing but familiarity wrapping around you, it was a time where you didn’t have to worry about what’s new, what’s to come, anything like that. now, autumn is creeping in and already, you’re overwhelmed and unsettled by all that’s new. this itchy bedsheet, the new pattern of your comforter, the thin and white walls… your new roommate. 

reaching for your walkman, you plug in your headphones, lying back on the bed. stomach heaving, you suck in a long, deep breath, eyes fluttering shut. the muscle rises and falls, and you try to sink into a world of daydreams. daydreams of good things – acing your assignments, making friends, hell, maybe even getting a girlfriend. 

maybe.

—

lee isn’t used to it. the domestic intimacy that comes with having a roommate, despite being total strangers. sometimes, she nearly forgets the intimacy of sharing a home until she has no choice but to face it head on. like, when she’s eating breakfast in the morning, and you come out in your PJs. yesterday, you were someone whose name she only heard for the first time. and now, she knows exactly what cartoon you grew up on because of the print on your soft, fuzzy pants. yesterday, she only just saw your face for the first time, and today, your toothbrushes are sitting together in the same holder, your skincare products are crowded together next to the sink, and your colourful mugs are sitting next to her plain white ones in the cupboard.

it’s been less than twenty-four hours, and already, she knows what you look like when tired in the morning. you’re standing near her, yawning, wiping at your bleary, wet eyes, as she glances between you and her reading, sipping tentatively on her coffee.

“good morning,” you mumble, making your way to the fridge and getting out some eggs.

she hums a small “mm” in response, right hand carefully making annotations. a moment later, she swallows hard, a memory flashing through her head. her second year roommate joking about her unfriendliness in front of five of their friends who lee didn't know. lee doesn’t mean to be, she really doesn’t. she simply isn’t inclined to converse with strangers, and undergo all the social rituals of that. but, still, she doesn’t want to come off as rude, especially since you seem fairly okay as of now. “morning.”

you nod at the papers in front of her, lips curling up. “already getting started?”

she nods. “yeah, might as well.”

“what’s your major?”

she sucks in a tiny breath. okay, so it seems like work will be taking a momentary pause. she sets her pen down. “criminology.”

“oh,” you coo, cracking two eggs into the pan. “and what are you hoping to do with that?”

her eyebrows furrow. do you mean her plan for pursuing the major, or what she intends to do post-graduation? “after university?”

at your nod, she pauses. she’s been asked this hundreds of times. virtually any peer of hers who she encounters and speaks to for the first time asks her as such -- it seems to be an innate part of small talk between students. but, still, she can’t help but hesitate every time. her goal seems like such a faraway dream, and one that not a lot of people associate her with. she’s always been the quiet person, the one who everyone finds either unassuming or off-putting. the image of her that people have doesn’t seem to bode well with a job as chivalrous or active as someone in law enforcement. but, she’s not in it to socialize or be perceived as brave. her reasoning is a lot more literal to the job. perhaps that makes it less interesting of an approach, but it's the truth.

quietly, she answers. “work in law enforcement. maybe in the FBI, as a special agent.”

you tilt your head at her, eyes wide, but not holding judgement. “wow, that’s pretty cool. what made you interested in that line of work?”

she blinks at your, well, pretty neutral response. she was half-expecting some snarky comment, or disinterested wave-off, so she feels her shoulders momentarily loosen at your cool, friendly response. “um…” she tries stilling her thoughts, going back to your question. eyes zoned in on her work, for the idea of answering so honestly while staring at you is too uncomfortable for her liking, she finally speaks. “I was tired of seeing and hearing about horrible things, and having no way to help. I want to help give people closure and answers.” she thinks of her mother. the kind of people who sometimes visited their home and lurked around, knowing there was no man there to protect them. the fear that’d darken her mother’s eyes when she heard a car drive up their curb at night. the way lee's mother would clutch onto her, her own daughter, so many nights, almost as though at nine, lee was brave enough to defend her.

the one time things got bad, when lee's mom wasn't there to hold her. when she had to run out of lee's room to reach the phone. lee grits her teeth, willing the memory to go away.

she didn’t want such fear to exist in other homes, not if she can help it.

but, she doesn’t tell you this. you’re nice, yeah, but she isn’t nearly at enough ease with you to confide in something so deeply webbed into her subconscious. even with her closest companions, she often isn’t sure how to go about it. 

“that’s very noble,” you say, with a kind, earnest smile. at least, it looks earnest to her. “that’s really admirable, lee.”

her eyes are downcast, and she gives a firm nod. she doesn’t think her desire for the job is particularly noble. it’s just her way of using her skills to try and do something helpful. that’s all. so, she doesn’t know what to say in response to your words.

thankfully, you turn back around and continue cooking, so she doesn’t need to figure it out.

–

lee, you’ve learned, is meticulous. and very neat. your first few days in your shared apartment are spent (by both of you) in an array of sweatpants, t-shirts and hoodies. but, as soon as school starts, you really see her in her element. it’s all sharp collars, muted tones, solid colours and smart shoes. the first time you return home from your 8:00AM class, she’s just finished getting ready, and you feel yourself blush, of all damn things, over the sight of her. maybe she notices, but you can’t tell for the life of you, for all you receive from her is a small nod of acknowledgement and a quiet departure. as you watch her leave, her backpack devoid of any pins or patches, you sigh, sagging against the wall. does she even like you? is she as curious of you as you are about her?

it’s not just attraction that’s causing this itch to know her. it’s the way she acts. sometimes, she just zones out, her inquisitive eyebrows drawn in and eyes almost faded and lost. lost in what, you can’t tell. she sometimes sits on your guys’ couch, staring blankly ahead, clearly not focused on whatever channel she’s randomly landed on. it’s like her mind is filled with thoughts, and she’s just victim to the all-consuming hold they have on her. or maybe she likes it. maybe she’s one of those people who could feel sufficiently entertained by her own thoughts for hours. maybe that’s why she likes her time alone.

sometimes, you see her on campus, walking through the humanities buildings. she’s usually with the same two friends, and it’s almost odd to see her so at ease. with them, she’s actually smiling, teeth shining. the first time you see it, you nearly have to gulp at the blinding light of it. lee transforms when she smiles. that face, so soft and doe-like at the eyes, but so hard-edged at the tense jaw, turns into some blissful beam of light when she smiles. she has laugh lines – god, you’ve lived with her for three weeks now and didn’t even know that. they deepen and dimple at the corners of her mouth when she smiles, and her cheeks lift, and her teeth feel almost foreign to look at with how clamped up her mouth usually is. you have to shake yourself from the silent gazing, suddenly feeling embarrassed and creepy.

you also feel rather embarrassed at the distance between the two of you. you’re not ignorant to the dynamics of roommates – you know the two of you aren’t required to be best friends or attached at the hip. but, you two barely ever talk. you’d like to, but she just doesn’t seem interested. and you also feel bad to intervene on her alone time. when she’s sitting on the couch during her occasional and spaced out appearances from her bedroom, usually doing some work or watching the 10:00PM showing of Murder She Wrote, she tenses up when you rest on the arm of the couch, drinking a soda. when you enter the kitchen and she’s munching on a granola bar (she’s awful at eating regularly), her eyes skitter from you to the counter, never able to hold eye contact. do you just force your presence onto her? it seems a bit inconsiderate. do you keep your space and let her come to you? it seems if you do that, she’ll be content to never speak to you.

does she hate you? you can't tell even if you let your mind explore such a bleak possibility.

—

lee hates the subway. the crowds, the relentless shoving and pushing, the buzz of loud conversation, which is always intercepted by a random shout or curse. whenever she makes her way down the steps, and sees a swarm of people already poised for its arrival, she usually lingers at the top, waiting for them to board the train that arrives before making her way down, content to wait for the succeeding one. even if it means she comes late to class, she engages in this little ritual everyday. anything to avoid the chest-tightening discomfort of being pushed into a tight wedge of bodies.

so, she lingers at the top of the steps, leaning on the wall, peering down at the crowd. from this view, her eyes scan all the faces blurring together. she wonders if she can make somewhat accurate guesses as to where each of them are heading to. she’s caught with the onslaught of awareness that they probably have a life to return to that’s just as complicated as hers. one that they might be dreading, or celebrating, to return to once they exit the the numbing whirl of the train. she wonders if they can tell where she’s headed to. does she look unassuming?

a bump to her shoulder jolts her out of her thoughts, and she turns to find you standing there, smiling at her. she blinks, suddenly losing her ability to formulate whatever morsels of conversation she usually distributes to you. it’s a bit surreal to see you outside of your guys’ shared dorm -- it’s probably the first time she has. you seem, she can't tell, glad to see her? at least that’s how it seems based on your smile. or perhaps you’re just polite.

“hi,” you greet, a breathless laugh flowing from your lips. “I ran to catch up with you. you walk like you’re on a mission or something.”

she opens her mouth before closing it. after a long pause hanging between you two, your expectant eyes making her clear her throat, she says, “you could’ve just called after me.”

“I was just worried you wouldn’t hear.” you peer down the steps. “are you heading to the apartment right now?”

the apartment. it was almost assuring, to know you also hadn’t found it to be a home just yet. she still feels unsettled in the place, the shattered routine of her time in oregon during summer break still having its impacts on her. “yeah.” 

“me too.” you cock your head at her. “shall we?”

she eyes the platform, filled to the brink. she doesn’t want to go, not at all. but, she also doesn’t want to undergo the vulnerability of confessing to you why she doesn’t want to go. so, she nods, hoping this goes by painlessly. 

when you two enter the packed platform, bodies beginning to softly thud against her, she immediately starts feeling it. the twist in her stomach, the tension bracing her shoulders. her hands roll into fists, and her nostrils flare as she sucks in a deep breath. it’s hot, god, so hot in this space, and the itch it causes on her neck makes her blink hard, the sensation only adding to her growing discomfort. as more people are filing in, the crowd growing larger due to a delay in the subway, she feels herself getting stifled more. pushed in, entrapped, ceaselessly and endlessly surrounded, just as she was in her mother’s home. she continues to take sharp, deep inhales, trying to soothe herself.

“are you okay?”

her head sharply snaps in your direction, having nearly forgotten of your presence. she nods, not wanting to speak. but, then, she feels your fingers brushing against her wrist, right above the first watch she ever bought for herself two years ago. and your tone is soft. “you sure?”

she leans away from your touch. it’s not doing anything to ease the tension in her body right now. she doesn’t want to be touched, doesn’t like it. at least not from someone she barely knows. 

you seem to recognize this, pulling away. “do you wanna head back up?”

she shakes her head, ears catching onto the familiar ringing of the train approaching. “I’m okay.” her voice is hard, firm, but you both know it’s a lie.

the train flashes into sight, a mix of grey and yellow as it whirls past her eyes, slowing down until it's halted to a full stop and the doors slide open. immediately, she feels the weight of bodies against her backpack, pushing her towards the door. her heaving breaths become faster, and her body feeling rigid, almost like a child who has lost their parent in the monotonous aisles of the grocery store.

you’re a pace ahead of her, and you turn back, eyebrows furrowed. you look like you want to say something, and she stares at your shoulder, which is dusted with freckles and pimples, waiting. her gaze lowers when you stretch out your hand, fingers curled towards her. your eyes are wide, and you loudly speak over the crowd. “only if you want.”

in the heat of the moment, the crowd pushing in on her even more, beginning to take you away from her, she doesn’t even think twice before grabbing onto your hand. it’s warm, a bit damp, and she clutches onto it like a lifeline. 

you lead her through the crowd, your grip tight and secure. at one point, too many people curl into your guys’ little bubble and you get pulled away from her, your interlocked hands and straining arms the only connection keeping you two intact. people shove into you, urging you to move forward, an act that would require you to let go of her. but, you don’t. your latch onto her hand and freeze, keeping your stance on the ground until she’s able to weave her way to you. someone curses as they walk past you, irritated at you for holding up the rolling wave of people, and she sees you you glare sharply at them, remaining still. 

when lee finally manages to slide through between two people, you continue holding on, tugging her into and through the narrow space of the train. her breathing is shaky, and she’s certain you can feel the insistent thrumming and tapping of her fingers on the back of your hand. she tenses up further when you continue guiding her through the crowd. god, why couldn’t you guys have just remained in one spot?

you continue dragging her along like a limp doll, and she forgets what it’s like to feel at ease in her own body. 

you slow down, and she realizes it’s because you found a cart that’s a bit looser, a bit emptier than the ones you two had walked through prior. you continue cradling her hand in yours, raising your entwined fingers to a pole and slowly letting go, coaxing her to hold onto it, patting her hand gently when she does. she gulps down at the kind gesture, gripping onto the pole. for the first time since you two moved in together, she feels gratitude for you.

she doesn’t know what to say. you took care of her in these few minutes, and she doesn’t know how to deal with that. it was rare for someone so estranged from her to show her such consideration, even in such a subtle way. years ago, she had reconciled with the idea that she was one of those people who had to be known intimately to be cared for. she wasn’t used to this… distanced type of caring. 

you raise your arm up, reaching to hold onto the handle dangling above. she catches a glance of the thick fuzz of your armpit hair and immediately turns away, feeling her face heat up. how stupid. she’s pulled your hair out of the drain before, she’s seen the stain of your blood on the toilet bowl, she’s smelled your morning breath. and she’s over here getting flustered from your armpit hair? she forces her eyes to scan the map plastered on the wall, rereading the same stops she’s already committed to memory in her three years commuting.

and then, the other thing she’s memorized rings in her ears.

“apologies to commuters – we are experiencing a delay due to some trouble on the tracks.”

and the train slowly screeches to a halt, the rumbling ceasing.

she sighs. of course.

– 

you two find a corner by the window to slide into. she steps back, letting you go first, and your lip quirks up at her politeness, shifting into the window seat. she gingerly sits next to you, legs pressed together, her hands twisting in her lap. when the silence starts wrapping you two, she begins inspecting her nails, lips lining together in a tight line. your mouth curls into a smile, eyes skipping to her hands. her fingers are long, knuckles curved and bumpy. her nails, just like every other part of her, are neat -- finely trimmed. you swallow. is she a lesbian? god, you wanna know. you know it’s not the type of question that’s appropriate to ask, so you hold your tongue. maybe you can investigate further when you guys are closer. if you guys ever get closer.

you pat your lips together, the silence starting to feel embarrassing with all the people conversing around you guys. you look at her, and you can see her gaze flick to you from the corner of her eye. “what class did you have today?

she blinks at the seat in front of both of you. “women in crime. it’s a class on female serial killers.”

you bark out a laugh. she says it so matter-of-factly, her tone flat and impassive. when she blinks at you in question, your laughter dies out, a stab of guilt piercing your chest. jesus, she finally shared something and you just had to laugh. “sorry, I just… you state it very plainly.”

her eyes momentarily skip away before returning to you. “was I supposed to embellish?”

the urge to laugh itches at your throat, feeling that she might be joking with you now. “yes, where is your sense of flourish?”

her mouth twitches. not exactly a smile, but enough to ignite an ember of pride in your chest. 

you lean into your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. it seems you two would be here for a while – might as well get comfortable. “so, what are you enjoying about the class?”

she gulps, as though the question were a vulnerable one to answer. she was so intriguing – what did she have to be worried about with such a casual inquiry? “there are a lot of theories about the expectations on women causing the rage involved in such violence. I found that an interesting take.”

“do you agree with it?”

her eyebrow twitches, and she stares at a stain on the seat in front of you two. “I think the ability to do something like that depends on a lot of factors. I don’t think it’s possible to only pinpoint and stick to one.”

you nod. it’s a practical, logical answer – very fitting to lee. “but, still, do you?” you press, curiosity burning through you.

her shoulders lift momentarily as a shaky breath runs through her nostrils. “yeah. I do. I’ve seen what fear and resentment can lead to. it might be far-fetched, but I could see it leading to worse. not just in women, but anyone.”

your eyes drink her in. god, what had she been through to arrive at such a conclusion, one that clearly contained so much of her own private contemplation? a pang of sympathy knocked on your heart. maybe she looked so lost sometimes because there was something that kept pulling her back. “I get that.”

after silence sizzles and grows between you two, the suffocating smoke of it making you shift in discomfort, she speaks, her voice making you jerk in surprise. “and you? what class… did you have?”

she says the question slowly, as though it strains her to speak it, and you wonder again – does she like you? tolerate you? 

you answer, anyways. it feels embarrassing to admit, even to yourself, but even if she’s just forcing herself to speak to you out of pure circumstance and manners, you still want to seize the opportunity to talk to her, dig into her mind. “I had a mythology course.”

her head tilts in your direction, and you know you’ve caught her attention. “professor khan’s class?”

your eyebrows furrow. “yeah. are you in it?”

she shakes her head. “no. my friend is. I couldn’t fit it into my schedule, so she lets me look at her notes sometimes.”

you giggle. “what, so you can mark them?”

she blinks at your joking remark. “no. I just find the content interesting.”

a smile cracks on your face. she really is a little nerd, isn’t she? you know she’s taking a full course load, and still, she was going out of her way to read content that wasn’t necessary. as you absorb her words, an idea struck you, and suddenly, you feel like you never left high school. “you can borrow my notes too, you know?”

her lips press together, the corners pinching up as she gives you a small nod. “thanks.” one of her hands massaged the other, and she peers at you from the corner of your eye. “so, what was this week’s class on?”

“different myths on the origins of the world.”

she seems to digest your words before speaking. “did you… do you believe in any of them?”

you laughed softly. “no, not really. I do think they’re fascinating, though. they’re all so different. and I think it says something about us as humans.”

her head leans in your direction, and something flutters in your stomach at her curiosity. “what does it say?”

“I don’t know, that we all want an explanation for why we’re here? we all want something to believe in, something to rely on to make sense of the world.”

she takes a few moments to reply. “we’re all just curious for answers at the end of the day, aren’t we? or desperate.”

“desperate?”

she nods. “it’s hard to be fully apathetic. everything we research, delve into, continue pursuing no matter how much information already exists on it… isn’t it because we’re either genuinely curious or because we need some, I don’t know, reassurance? so we feel less lost.”

“do you feel lost?”

the question is out before you can even process the implications, or impacts, of it. but, you don’t even have it in you to take it back. once it’s out, you crave her answer.

her shoulders tense up, eyes shifting to your knee, blinking hard. her jaw clenches, and after a long minute of silence, she says, “yeah. all the time.”

–

the next time lee sees you, it’s at a place worse than the subway station. it’s a party. her friends have dragged her along, and it was also an excuse she could latch onto to justify not visiting her mom – one of many, really. she couldn’t help but have felt guilty when she called her mom on the landline the day before, saying she wouldn’t spend the fall break with her, attributing the decision to both her studies and social events, like this one. it helped that ruth encouraged her to socialize more, something that made her feel both relieved and infinitely guilty in her excuses.

you two run into each other at the drinks’ table, hands both outstretched for some soda. when you look up and catch sight of her, you scoff in disbelief, and she feels a sense of embarrassment wash over. you knew she was going out tonight, she had told you as much, but she’s certain this was the last place you had expected to see her.

when you voice as much, she shrugs, grabbing a Sprite. your shock isn’t unwarranted. she spends most nights in, and when she does notify you about going out with her friends, she’ll usually mention the cafes or quiet bars they frequent. not to mention, you’ve brought up, and on three occasions, have invited her to, these kinds of things, but she has always politely rejected. as she clicks open the can, her mind lingers on the possibility of you being offended at seeing her here after her rejection of your invites. it’s not personal, she was just tired of her friends wailing for her to at least try a party, so she gave in. but, she wonders if you’ll take it the wrong way.

it doesn’t seem so, for you’re grabbing a soda and easily smiling at her, as usual. but, she wonders if your smile is genuine, her eyes studying your face. when you turn to her again, she looks away, the corner of her mouth twitching in discomfort. god, she needs to be more subtle. 

“are you here alone, or…?” 

she shakes her head, glancing into the living room. “my friends are in there, dancing.”

your lip quips up into a smirk. “why don’t you join them?”

a small huff leaves from her nose. “I don’t think there’s enough alcohol in the world that can convince me to do that.” the mere idea of dancing in public feels mortifying to her. god, she can’t even dance in private, it feels that awkward and foreign to her.

you nod at her soda. “not that it seems like you’re even having much.”

she takes a sip from it. “yeah, well, I don’t drink.”

your eyebrows shoot up. “oh? why not?”

it’s not the first time she’s received such a reaction. she knows it isn’t the most common thing to be her age, a university student, and never drink. but, she has her reasons. she pauses, deliberating if she wants to share them with you. ever since your guys’ encounter on the subway, she’s felt as though you guys have crossed a sort of threshold. perhaps it was because you saw cracks in her reservations for once. but, whatever it was, something in her felt a bit looser with you now. 

she relents, sighing. “I was raised religious, so that stuff was never in the house, and, well, I don’t like the feeling of being out of control.”

you nod. “catholic?”

she immediately feels the tightness balling at her shoulders. it’s just a question, she knows that. but, the mention of it, and all it means to her, all the weight it still forces her to carry on her shoulders, is sometimes akin to a tidal wave that tips her over. “uh, yeah.”

you hum in response. a moment later, you say, your tone light, “never wanted to see what kind of drunk you are?”

the implication causes her mouth to widen with the itch to smile. it’s not often that such an urge surges through her, but she lets it slowly spread, hiding it behind a sip of the soda can. will you think her smile is weird due to its infrequency? 

“just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I’ve never tried it.”

you chortle in delight, smacking her arm, which sends her tensing. “okay, so, what kind of drunk are you? emotional, clingy, horny…”

she can’t help it. a muscle in her jaw pulses at your successful guess, and she blinks in surprise when you seem to register her change in expression, your eyes widening and pointer finger jabbing in her direction with a gasp.

“oh my god, you’re a horny drunk, aren’t you?”

she sighs, looking away and continuing to sip on her drink. you were correct, of course. but, she didn’t need to let you know that. just because she was a smidge more comfortable with you doesn’t mean she needs to reveal every secret up her sleeve. besides, the last thing she needs is her roommate discovering just how high her sex drive is when intoxicated.

without warning, the last thought springs forward a litany of lewd images that has her nearly shaking her head to try to rid herself of them.

thankfully, your relentless curiosity gives her a modicum of distraction. “oh, c’mon, tell me.”

she rolls her eyes, muttering, “why do you care?”

you shrug innocently. “no reason… though, I guess it would pan out. repressed christian and all.”

at your slightly joking words, she blinks at her drink, amusement bubbling in her. you have a point. while her mother and her rarely broached the topic during her adolescence, there were the occasional conversations that have remained drilled into her head since. she had known since she hit puberty that sex was meant to exist in the sanctity, the apparent purity, of marriage. well, it isn’t something she knows now – she was sure something had to be a fact in order for her to truly consider it a piece of knowledge she can absorb. but, regardless, that, and her own personal social awkwardness, had made her spend years empty of intimacy, the anxiety of sinning weighing heavily upon her mind. when she had her first kiss with a girl in high school, she had spent days feeling a deep sense of shame, like there was an invisible force frowning upon her. she couldn’t even face her mom for the rest of the day. it was only when she started university, and escaped her small, grey town in oregon, did something finally spark back in her.

she clears her throat, crawling back out of her thoughts. something hangs on the tip of her tongue, and she itches to say it. she doesn’t know why exactly, but part of her wants you to know. “repressed lesbianism does that too.”

your head darts to her, and she nearly winces. was that too direct? she knows you won’t judge. you have a rainbow flag patch ironed onto your backpack, and she knows you’re a part of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance organization on campus. but, perhaps it was too much of herself to reveal to you. maybe you weren’t interested, maybe you didn’t really want to know her.

“you’re a lesbian?”

her mouth twists, suddenly uncomfortable with the focus on her. “yes.” she turns to you, eyes wide. “and you’re gay too, aren’t you?” she knows, at least based on what her friends have said, that it’s impolite to ask such a question, but she assumes it’s okay given how open you are on campus.

you nod, the lines near your eyes crinkling. “yeah. you know, I wondered about you. I’m glad to know my assumptions were right.”

her curiosity is piqued. “what made you think so?”

you smirk. “you have a KD Lang tape.”

her mouth quivers, and for the first time, she laughs.

–

and it’s a glorious thing. white, sharp teeth, usually tucked under her thin lips, finally revealing themselves. her laugh lines, fluttering around the corners of her mouth like wings, are curved and dipping deep into her skin. you can’t tame the beam that spills onto your face from the sight of her laughing. the noise of it is husky, pure velvet trimmed with the faintest rasp, and it makes something warm swim in your abdomen.

a few moments later, you fidget with your pocket, looking at her with a wry, hesitant smile. “listen, I know you want to go into law enforcement, so will you kill me if I smoke a joint?”

she blinks at you blankly. “no.” when you release a relieved laugh at her blunt answer, she adds, “only if you’re up for sharing.”

 and that’s how you wind up sitting together on a porch, sharing a joint. the first time you pass it to her, you feel like a dog, nearly fucking panting at the sight of her lips closing softly over the tip, breathing it in. does she feel the wetness of your saliva on it? does she feel anything at the idea of putting her lips on something yours just touched? the musky scent wraps around both of you, the heat of the joint comforting in the chilled autumn night. crunchy, peach-coloured leaves skip along the street in the breeze, the only noise in the quiet neighbourhood of the hosts, five people who you sure as hell don’t know, and doubt lee does either. 

“I love this song,” you say, turning to the front door, where only the screen door is closed, music flowing through the mesh, streaming into the secluded space of the porch. 

her voice is quiet in the midst of the soft crickets. “what song is it?”

“it’s called Thinking About You by Radiohead.”

“what’s it about?”

you smile gently, touched by her curiosity. you suppose it’s not so unexpected. maybe it’s because she’s so quiet by nature, but you got the sense that she was always listening and soaking in the information surrounding her. like a sort of sponge. “some people say it’s about masturbation.” your eyes flick to her, a wisp of a grin on your face when she swallows hard. “but, I don’t think so. I think it’s about missing someone in a really… aching kind of way. someone who maybe left you, or just happened upon, fame or something better in life. but, really, it’s all fake. or maybe the person just wants it to be fake, because that’s a more comforting idea than admitting maybe someone left you and got something better.”

she doesn’t reply, and the lack of acknowledgement (not even a hum) makes you falter, wondering if she even listened to you. but, then, you see it. her eyebrows are furrowed in focus, and she’s leaning her head in the direction of the door. almost as though she’s straining to listen. it locks into place. she’s trying to listen to the lyrics – for you. the gesture is enough to get you beaming like an idiot, turning your head away from her as you take another drag. 

“it sounds like the person gave up a lot for them.” she watches the lawn, which is littered with a few beer cans and broken bottles. “it’s… sad, isn’t it?”

“yeah, it is.” you frown, the sadness of the song seeping into your mind. it isn’t just sad, it’s devastating. the entire concept of pouring so much into someone, or even having them devote their lives and efforts to you, then all of that crumbling, releases an anxious feeling through your stomach. so much heartache. 

“have you ever been through anything like that?” her voice is so quiet that it’s just teetering on the edge of being a mutter. 

you nearly flinch at the personal question, shock shooting through you. it’s the first time she’s asked you something so invasive. when you dare to look at her, you have to force yourself to keep eye contact with the way her gaze is piercing you. you almost feel that with a singular look, she can open you up and read you with ease.

“well…” you fumble for a few seconds, trying to swim away from the surprise so you can answer. “I suppose with some friends, yeah.”

“what happened?”

you gulp. “well, just situations where we fell out of touch, or something specific happened to end the friendship, and afterwards, just kind of watching their lives from afar, a bit envious. envious that they moved on, curious if their new friends are better than me.”

she’s silent for a few minutes, the air feeling thicker after your confession. by the time you’ve started to tense up, she says, “you seem… like a good friend. even if they find people who they’re happy with, I don’t think it means you were any less of a friend.”

it’s the first compliment she’s ever truly given you, and you wish it was tangible so you could maybe lock it in a box and one day look back on it - the exact moment, word for word, every graze of the breeze present. “thank you.”

she nods.

“and you? have you been through it?” you reach your hand out, loose fingers hugging the joint. 

she gently takes it from you, her careful fingers seeming to avoid touching you. you wish she would. as she breathes it in deeply, lips parting to release a stream of smoke, she mutters, “yeah.”

you give her a questioning stare, waiting for her to continue.

she looks away with a soft inhale. “when I was in high school, I kind of dated this girl. we were seventeen, both realizing we were gay – all of that. the anxiety became too much, and I ended it.” her voice quiets, as though she’s still ashamed – but, it seems to be for something else. “in our senior year, she dated someone else. and I still, you know…” she pauses, briefly meeting your eyes, “liked her. so, I just watched from the side, feeling betrayed that she didn’t wait for me. I felt… hurt.” it seems like she strains to admit to the possession of such a vulnerable emotion, and a part of you aches in gratitude that she shared it with you. “I knew it wasn’t fair. she couldn’t wait forever – and back then, the space between seventeen and going to university felt like forever. but, I was really bitter for a while. and I often wondered how her and her girlfriend were faring.”

a stab of sympathy wrenches in your stomach. breaking up was never easy, but to experience it at seventeen? and it being one’s first gay relationship? you can’t imagine the amount of pain she felt, especially considering the religious upbringing she’s alluded to. “I’m really sorry you went through that. I mean, it makes sense. it was your first relationship, and you have so many hopes for that. it’s all the harder when you’re not out, too.”

she tightly nods. “yeah.” her voice sounds slightly like a forced-out gasp. 

“thank you… for telling me.”

the ghost of a smile appears on her face. “well, you did share your joint. figured I owed you something.”

“oh, I see,” you chuckle. “joint for traumatic story – seems like a fair trade. if only therapy could pick up on that practice.”

she glances at you. “you know, if you’re ever lost after graduation, consulting might work out.”

you laugh, and her eyes dart back to the ground.

a half hour later, you yawn, groggily mumbling, “I kind of want to head home now.” you smile apologetically. “sorry. long week.” the weed has taken its effects on you, leaving your body boneless and relaxed, and all you want to do is curl into bed. but, deep inside you, a part of you wails and protests, wishing to sit on this step with her forever, as though it’s become a sacred place.

 she shakes her head at your apology. “I feel like going too. we can walk together.” she stands up, taking one last hit. you gulp down at the sight. jesus, she looks attractive doing that. her button-up is untucked, and she’s wearing a baggy, dark windbreaker that falls at her wrists. smoking has seemed to relax her in a way you’re not used to, her movements less stiff and flowing more naturally from one into the other. she’s a sight to behold in this state – levelled as always, but free in a way. and watching her long fingers tucked against the joint does something to you – something that only pulses even more when she actually wraps her lips around it.

she hands over the remainder of it. “here, you have it. I’m going to tell my friends we’re leaving.”

we’re leaving. it makes you feel delirious, to be a we with her. you giggle, your sober inhibitions completely removed, and she smiles faintly at your fit. “sounds great.”

she’s still gently smiling, looking down on you. “what’s so funny?”

“no, um, nothing.” you clear your throat, trying to reign in some seriousness, before another giddy laugh erupts from you. “nothing.”

her head shakes gently. her usually light brown hair has darkened under the night sky, and strands of it tickle her cheek from the wind. “you’re crazy.” she wordlessly heads in, quietly muttering, “I'll be back.”

you page your friend, fingers trembling from the moment with lee. she’s probably still making out with her boyfriend, so you write out 7, your guys’ code for “Leaving” because of how the number upside down resembles an L, ending the message with 143. before you had beelined to lee, she had sent you a coy look, playfully patting your arm and saying, “let me know if you get laid.”

but, all you lee and do is walk and take the subway, and it’s more than enough. because you at least get to see her smile, her eyes lazy and half-lidded as she listens to you talk about your least favourite professor.

and that’s enough.

–

the next morning, lee pads into the kitchen to find open packs of Cheetos and Cheerios, limp and spilling, on the counter. as she cleans the mess, she can’t help but feel reminiscent of the night before. you were so giggly when high, constantly leaning on her and finding every motion of hers practically hysterical. she got to feel more at ease with you than she had since you both moved in, and it almost gives her a sense of relief to know you have now seen her in that state. you now know what she’s like when the reservations have crumbled, and that makes her steps towards it feel a bit less daunting.

when you come out of the bathroom, hair wet from your shower, eyes bright with the morning, she swallows at the onslaught of excitement she feels at your presence. without having even fully realized it, she had been tapping her hand on the counter. waiting on you to finish and come out.

“good morning,” you drawl out, your tone mischievous as though the two of you had done something last night. she racks her brain thinking of something that could explain your address of her. you guys didn’t do anything illegal, despite your hypothetical musings of walking along the train tracks. you both also didn’t have sex. her nostrils flare at the idea. yeah, she definitely would’ve remembered that. 

she was empty of ideas. “why do you sound like that?”

you smirk, leaning over the counter, and she finds herself reeling back at the proximity. the scent of your shampoo wafts her nose, and she becomes suddenly aware of just how small your shared kitchen is. “well, I’m just impressed with myself for having gotten to see lee harker high as a kite.”

she snorts at your answer, turning to switch the kettle on. sometimes, she forgot the legality of smoking since her and her friends did it so often. 

your voice fills the quiet of the bubbling water. “it was nice, though. we should do it again sometime.”

she pauses, using her task of grabbing mugs and making coffee as an excuse to remain silent for a few moments, needing time to process your words. no matter how old she becomes, she seems to always feel like she’s dangling at the precipice of finally understanding and accepting the process of knowing and being known. she has friends, yes, but it constantly feels like inside, she’s still the same little girl who felt discarded to the outskirts during recess, and who perhaps adapted to isolation and solitude not out of a true enjoyment of it, but as a survival instinct. even in her last year of university, she still cannot seem to absorb the idea that someone may truly want to spend time with her. 

“yeah, that’d be good,” she quietly responds, her back still turned to you. she hopes you can’t detect the tension in her shoulders. ever since you successfully guessed at the type of drunk she is based on her reaction, she’s taken note of your observational skills.

when she turns to you, she finds a part of herself feeling shy as she slides over a mug to you. it’s one of yours, bright flowers splattered all over it, and it’s filled to the brim with the coffee she usually only makes for herself.

you brighten at the offer. “oh, thank you.”

she nods, sipping on hers silently. she wonders if she’s a bad, or at the very least, questionable, roommate. after all, it’s been a month, and this is her very first time even making you coffee. even if she has been a bad roommate, how would she go about that? apologizing? the mere idea of it sends a wave of anxiety through her.

she’s so caught up in her swarm of musings that she doesn’t even realize how long the silence between you two has hung until you start fiddling with the handle of your mug. her eyes flick between your hand and your face, trying to consciously remain on the latter. “do you… have plans today?”

you start at the sound of her voice, and her lips nearly crack into a grin. she can’t blame you. most of your guys’ shared mornings have consisted of you two quietly moving around each other, and when conversation has occurred, it’s been at your gentle prompting. but, even then, it’d last for a few minutes before you leave. you never push her. the realization makes her lips twist. 

“no, no, some kid was begging to take my shift so he could take his girlfriend out, and I had worked a lot of hours last week, anyways, so I gave it to him.”

“high school kid?”

you grin, the bob of your head confirming.

she shrugs lightly. “that pans out.”

“ah, come on, it’s young love. people get desperate when they’re in love.”

she feels the corner of her lip twitching with the urge to smile. how have you been making her smile so much lately? she admits, you definitely wound up being a lot easier to talk to than she had initially suspected. not that you had done anything to instigate doubt from her. she supposes she's generally spent her life suspecting everyone of being difficult to talk to, but it wasn’t because of them. she had spent enough years carefully observing those who seamlessly stitch themselves into conversation to know that she was the common denominator. she struggles, and she knows it forces the flow of conversations to a halt in a way she wishes didn’t happen. and doesn’t she wish for it. for as much as she enjoys her time away from the world, tucked into a safe corner, and as much as she usually dislikes the practice of socializing, especially with people it doesn't feel necessary to do so with, she can’t help but sometimes, just sometimes, itch for the string of connection only a genuine bond can bring. it’s why your offer to smoke again continues to linger in her mind, minutes after you’ve said it. 

“and you?” you prod. “do you have work today?”

“no. the library closes early on saturday, so they usually don’t take in a lot of workers.”

between you two, an unspoken offer crackles. lee can feel it, and she can sense you do too, your eyes skittering around as though you feel awkward looking at her. she wonders briefly if that’s how she looks to you, but quickly moves on to ponder on the question of if she wants to hang out. she wouldn’t mind letting the question go unspoken. she’s certainly let that happen enough times as is, even though her friends tell her it’s apparently rude to do so. what takes her aback, though, is her desire to remain with you for the day. for some reason, despite having spent so many days like it already, the idea of you two being free, enclosed in the same space, and not spending time together now feels off to her. it feels wrong. and not because of obligation, but rather just because it's something that’s so clearly against her wants that she can’t even force it to seem right. the sentiment is foreign regarding you, but she supposes it makes sense, what with the recent conversations you two have had.

now, all there is is to actually approach the idea. she clears her throat softly, suddenly feeling on edge when you look up at her. jesus, why did she make this decision again? she sucks in an unsteady breath. “um… we… do you want to, I don’t know, hang out?”

relief flushes through her when you beam and grab her keys from the counter, tossing them at her. “I’ll get my video card for the store.”

– 

the video rental store is only a ten minute walk away, but with lee’s unwavering pacing, you two make it there in seven. you have to resist dragging her by the sleeve to slow her down, wanting to relish in the brisk autumn morning. yellow and orange leaves drift along the quiet street, and the sky is dim and grey, wrapping the entire world up in a cozy sanctuary. when you two enter the store, you nearly have to blink to adjust to the bright, yellow lights of it.

immediately, you beeline to the horror section, only stalling when lee lingers at the front, her eyes curiously taking in the latest hits.

“lee,” you call out, and when you catch her attention, shattering her quiet observing, you wave her over.

“what is it?”

you look back longingly to the horror section. “come on, halloween is approaching, we should be watching something scary.”

as you practically skip over to the row of dark, gory and borderline traumatic-looking tape covers, she follows you, quietly saying, “I didn’t realize there was an official rulebook.”

you glare at her. “you know what I mean. it’s part of the season’s festivities.”

she randomly slides out one tape, eyebrows scrunched together as she scans over the image attentively. you nearly giggle. even now, when merely selecting a tape, she’s so focused. she sets it back into its exact place with a sigh. “choose whatever you want.”

you frown, feeling rather petulant at her disinterest. “we’re supposed to choose together. do you not like horror?”

“not really.” her tone is flat, the blunt answer drained of hesitation, and you nearly laugh. “mystery and thrillers I like – anything I can put my mind to solving. but, horrors are usually too surface-level. just trying to get a rise out of the audience.”

you roll your eyes at her. “whoever’s been showing you horror films has been doing you a disgrace, then.”

something rumbles in her chest, and it takes you a moment to realize it’s a chuckle. her mouth curls up, and she says, “actually, I chose to watch those.”

“so, you didn’t even consult a horror movie connoisseur before choosing to hate on them? such a rookie.”

a small smile appears on her lips. “well, I wasn’t aware there was such a strict regime.”

“thank god for me.”

a quiet snort puffs from her nose. “okay, so, you choose then.” she purses her lips together in concentration, eyes roving over the rest of the store. “and I’ll choose something from the thriller section.”

you nod eagerly. “sounds good.” when she walks away, you turn excitedly back to the rows of films, skin nearly thrumming. you cannot wait to show her a movie of your picking, and even more, have her show you a movie that she likes. you want to have a look, even just a peak, into her mind and what she likes, what she finds interesting.

twenty minutes later, you practically shove the cover of The Shining in her face. “please, you haven’t seen it, right?”

she cocks her head, observing it. “no, I haven’t.”

you nearly squeal in delight. “great. what did you choose?”

cradling it as though it’s a long-lost relic, she shows you the copy of The Silence of the Lambs.

you immediately chortle, skimming your fingers over the cover, something in you stirring at the site of your hand so close to hers, which are dry at the knuckle from the cold, faint, brown hairs at the base of her wrist. you’ve seen the film – of course you have. the idea of a woman in the FBI was thrilling to you when you first discovered the premise, and you and some friends all went and saw it together. the idea that lee likes a movie that you’re fond of makes you all the more curious.

“why the laugh?”

your cheeks nearly ache as you grin widely. “you’re such a damn criminology major.”

a scoff slips from her mouth. “you knew what you were getting into when you asked me to choose.”

you like this side of her. she’s mischievous, but in a quiet, soft way. you feel that there’s more under the current, and you can’t help but look forward to it. 

as the cashier rings up the films, you lean on the counter, handing over your card. “so, do you like movies?”

she contemplates your words for a bit before answering. “not really. I was more of a film buff as a kid.” she pauses, clearly mulling over her next words, her voice tender, vulnerable and almost childlike when she speaks next. “I used to want to be an actress.”

“ahem.” 

you both turn, the cashier watching you both with bored, flat eyes, his hand holding up a flimsy plastic bag with your two tapes.

“yeah, so going back to that,” you continue as you step out, smiling like an idiot when she holds the door open for you, “you used to want to be an actress?”

“yeah, I did.”

you fumble over your words, not really knowing what to say. she so does not seem like the actress type. you saw her at that party last night – she’s more than content to spend her hours slinking into the background, almost melting into the wall. you can’t imagine her desiring to be the center of attention, hundreds of eyes on her. “I wouldn’t have expected that, to be honest. no offense,” you rush to clear up, your words muddled and clumsy. “I just mean… you don’t seem like you’d enjoy being under so many eyes.”

she toys with the handles of the plastic bag. “I don’t. I think back then, I just thought that being an actress meant I could live and escape in the movies I liked. like, I could maybe be part of the adventure.”

you nod. you understand the urge. you, too, had spent one too many moments, even now, in what’s technically adulthood, rummaging through serieses of daydreams, almost as though you’re flipping through a photobook, finding a new one to comfort you and lose yourself in everyday. “what kind of movies did you want to lose yourself in?”

the corners of her lips tip up, and it’s the warmest thing in this chilly, dreary fall morning. “anything with adventure. I liked fantasy – magic, mermaids, pirates, you know…”

“very adventurous.”

“yeah…” her words falter. “though, I don’t think I really had it in me to be expressive enough for that.”

you momentarily debate feigning ignorance as to what she’s referring to, worried you’ll offend her by agreeing, but then decide against it. you don’t think she’d appreciate dishonesty when it came to her own experiences. “you’re not that expressive, huh?”

she shakes her head. “no. I didn’t realize it was… unusual to not show expression until I got older.”

your eyes flick over her face. you’re also unaccustomed to seeing someone as straight-faced as lee. in a way, it was refreshing to see someone who didn’t force themselves to give off certain impressions. “I mean, it’s nice that your parents never gave you a hard time. it’s just different, not unusual.”

she stiffly nods, lips clamping tight together. her eyes uneasily shift over the sidewalk. “actually, I meant to tell you… I’m going to be away this weekend.” at your eyebrow curving up, she adds, “I’m visiting my mom.”

“oh, is everything okay?” you can’t help but let the concern bleed into your voice. it’s a strange decision, to say the least. you didn’t know any peers who went out of their way to actually go back home on halloween weekend.

“yeah, everything’s okay.” when you don’t respond, she awkwardly glances to you. “she lives alone. I visit on halloween weekend just to make sure she’s okay.” she opens her mouth, almost as though she wants to say something else, but then, one, two, three, seconds pass and she remains silent.

you stare at her in awe, feeling as though your heart is expanding. she really was so good, wasn’t she?

–

when lee reaches her childhood home, shoulders heavy and heart already throbbing in pre-existing guilt and shame, she immediately sets out to search for her mother. might as well get this over with.

she gently walks through the wretched hole her mother has made of what was once their home, body twisting and writhing to avoid brushing against anything that might have gone unclean for too long. already, she can feel the dread wrapping around her, hugging around her torso, like a friend simply returning after time away, squeezing, unforgiving, unable to let go.

her mother is nowhere to be found. the television is softly blaring in the living room, and it keeps her company from the quiet of their isolated home. lee purses her lips, concern starting to grip her chest. she tempers her breathing, which is getting heavy and weighed with anxiety. her fingers are twisting and pressing together -- anything to make her feel more linked to earth. 

it turns out to be nothing. in a matter of ten minutes, her mother returns home and lee suddenly feels like a child who thought she had woken up alone at home and is now suppressing the urge to bury her face in her mother’s familiar scent. 

it’s a thought she suddenly feels she’d like you to know. it’s a thought she suddenly feels you’d receive with kindness and comfort. 

she eyes the phone as her mother leads her to the kitchen, pointing out her childhood drawings as she always did. lee can sense that her mother lives in a perpetual state of nostalgia and reminiscence, and lee sometimes wonders if her mother liked her better as a child, and if her adulthood was the low point of her journey as mother. she knows her mom prefers how things were when lee was a kid, before that night occurred. but, sometimes, lee feels that her mom also prefers lee as a child, rather than just the state of time. when lee asked less questions, didn't prod as much. didn't leave as often. didn't yet become someone who her mom might not like.

lee continues to watch the phone. she wants to tell you these things.

[orionsangel86]

Lucienne/Lucien - How the Librarian Became the Chief.

In The Sandman Netflix adaptation Lucienne is a stand out character and second only to Morpheus in importance, screen time, and centrality to the story. Lucienne is Morpheus's loyal Librarian, second in command, ruler of the Dreaming in his absence, and often times a voice of reason and advice for our dutiful King of Dreams. She is so well respected in her position that the other castle residents consider her their boss and would rather go to her for guidance and command than Morpheus himself. She takes care of Dream's ravens and even appears to have the power to create new ravens from newly deceased mortals like she did with Matthew. She is clearly extremely close to Morpheus, and is one of very few people he seems to actually listen to and trust. Lucienne's role in this story can not be underestimated.

So it may come as a surprise to any fans of the show who haven't read the comics to learn that Lucien (as he is called in the comics) is afforded very few of the above traits. In fact Lucien is no where near as close to Morpheus even by the very end of the story, as Lucienne is at the beginning. It is this difference that has fascinated me since I first started diving into the comics after falling in love with the show, and its something I view as extremely important when considering how the story is being adapted into a kinder, more sympathetic universe surrounding our central protagonist.

Lucienne's role is expanded greatly from her comic counterpart, and her relationship with Morpheus is shown to be much deeper. This is evident practically right away at the end of episode one when Lucienne comes to greet Morpheus upon his return to the Dreaming following his escape.

The way she runs over to him as soon as she realises he is back, and lovingly takes his hand and is so pleased to see him is a far cry from the comic where the first thing Lucien does is bow.

So right at the start we see a very different form of relationship here. Where Lucienne is already displaying a level of care and devotion beyond the expectations of a servant, Lucien however, is exactly that.

The servant thing has caused a bit of contention among fandom in the past. I think the confusion could come from whether or not you see Lucien or Lucienne first. Lucien IS a servant of Dream. Lucienne is more like a vice president and royal advisor. Those are two very different things after all and that difference only becomes more obvious the further you go into the story.

Lucienne accompanies Morpheus throughout his return to his crumbling kingdom, helps him as he attempt to repair the damage, follows him to Cain and Abel, and watches over his meeting with the Fates. She is by his side from the moment he returns until the moment he leaves again for the waking world to begin his quest to recover his tools, and she is responsible for Matthew's reincarnation as the new Raven and instructs Matthew to stay with him because of her concern for Morpheus's wellbeing on his quest.

I cannot stress enough how much none of this is in the comics. Lucienne shows a level of care towards Morpheus that just isn't present in Lucien in the comics. After the first meeting with Lucien at the gates of the Dreaming, Lucien doesn't appear again until he is instructed by Morpheus to conduct the census of the Dreaming. He only appears again in the Doll's House very briefly and has no involvement in Morpheus's decisions during that arc, which takes place very rarely in the Dreaming.

That's not to say that Lucien isn't a very trusted servant of Morpheus. He is the closest to Morpheus of all the residents of the Dreaming except only Matthew. But I think a lot of what we see in the show of Morpheus and Lucienne's dynamic is inspired by much later in the comics. I also think that it speaks loudly to the change in Morpheus as a character. Show!Morpheus has people almost right away who care about him and want to help him, whereas comic!Morpheus is extremely isolated. It is clear in the early comic stories that comic!Morpheus keeps himself at arms length from basically everyone. He does not have a bond with Lucien, he did not have Jessamy, and at that early stage, he didn't even have Matthew. All of this of course was primarily to make show!Morpheus a more sympathetic and likeable character - you gotta give your protagonist people who care about them, it helps raise the stakes after all.

Taking Charge - Lucienne is the real boss

One of my favourite parts of the Dolls House episodes in the Netflix show is the conflict between Morpheus and Lucienne due to the other residence and Dreaming servants going to her for advice and instruction first rather than Morpheus. Bearing in mind this only takes place less than a year after Morpheus's return from imprisonment, it speaks volumes as to how Lucienne has taken the role of leader of the Dreaming in her stride.

But it also indicates how Morpheus' change in the show is coming at lightening fast speed compared to the comic. In the comic, Mervyn doesn't make these observations until the Brief Lives arc, and this is indicated at that point to be a very new thing - triggered by several years post fish bowl of having to face his past decisions and mistakes (and a string of scorned ex lovers one after the other ending in a horribly matched rebound relationship with a murderous witch that subsequently rejected him and triggered him literally seeking out destruction). Lucien was only put in charge of the Dreaming when Morpheus left to go on his trip with Delirium. It is during that trip that Morpheus realises how competent Lucien is and capable of running things without problem in his absence.

Mervyn's insights are made clear here:

This is the only time in the comic that anyone dares mention that someone other than Morpheus might be the boss - and it is in no way as directly spelled out as it is in the show. "You're practically running the place" and "you secretly run this place" are quite different statements. The first only makes an observation about Morpheus's current lack of interest (in Brief Lives) in actually running his realm. It implies that Lucien is doing Morpheus' job for him, but does not go as far as to outright call Lucien the boss. Whereas in the show, that's exactly what Mervyn does.

In the comic, Morpheus overhears Mervyn's speech and immediately points out his reasoning for leaving Lucien in charge, for promoting him and giving him more authority.

Because no one ever technically undermines Morpheus in the comic, there is no conflict here. Morpheus trusts Lucien as his loyal servant and gives him the power to rule in his stead (but only when he is absent) and there is no "secretly report to Lucien first" attitude among Matthew and Mervyn. We can perhaps interpret that this might be happening behind the scenes by this point in Brief Lives, or even just before the BL arc when Morpheus was distracted by his rebound murderess, but it is never actually directly stated that this is going on.

The tension between Morpheus and Lucienne in the show is born out of the conflict over Lucienne's position and Morpheus feeling undermined by his subjects, and its storytelling gold. But the only reason such a story works in the show is because Lucienne is so important to Morpheus in the show, because their relationship goes so much deeper than the relationship in the comic. Lucienne is not a servant, she's his god damn vice president and she knows it, and he knows it too. Throughout episodes 7 and 8 specifically he reaches out to her for her opinion and advice on the Vortex situation. He talks things through with her and seeks out her guidance. It is clear that he relies on her and it is only at the end of episode 8 when Lucienne disagrees with his punishment of Gault, that in his anger, he dismisses her.

Lucien/ne the Royal Advisor

Where Morpheus in the show seeks out Lucienne's advice and opinion frequently especially during the Doll's House arc, I have to stress that this never happens in the comic. Comic!Morpheus just does not have that kind of relationship with Lucien and does not seek his counsel at all, even though Lucien does try to give it on occassion, usually when Morpheus is about to do something extremely stupid and probably damaging to himself and the Dreaming. To name a couple times:

Season of Mists - before Morpheus returns to Hell:

Brief Lives - before seeking Destruction:

You'll note that in both these times Lucien's words of caution are completely ignored.

You'll also notice that in both times Lucien is taking a path of polite caution. Lucien very rarely speaks his mind to Morpheus, because he knows it won't get him very far to do so. The only time Lucien truly loses his cool and speaks freely is in The Kindly Ones (spoiler alert)

At this point in the comic story Morpheus has basically all but given up and accepted his fate and its fucking depressing AF. Lucien is well within his right to shake the bastard HARD and snap him TF out of it. I STILL think he was too restrained here tbh!

My point here is that Lucienne already speaks her mind quite freely around Morpheus in the show. She expresses her opinions and thoughts and gives him her advice. This is such a well established dynamic by the point of the argument that it is clear that Lucienne is offended by Morpheus's dismissal of her.

Take this exchange from episode 9:

Lucienne: "Rose is weakening the walls between realms" Matthew: "You gonna tell the Boss?" Lucienne: "No." Matthew: "No?" Lucienne: "It's none of my business." Matthew: "Er, since WHEN?" Lucienne: "Since Lord Morpheus reminded me that I'm merely a librarian and should concern myself with my books from now on." Matthew: "He said that?! What's wrong with him!" Lucienne: "Nothing is wrong with him. He's always been this way. He's just been away so long I'd forgotten. He's determined to deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself. Without anyones help. So any news must be reported directly and exclusively to him."

It's worth pointing out here that whilst this is framed as Morpheus being a stubborn idiot, in the comic, he does in fact deal with the vortex and the missing Arcana by himself mostly and is not so much helped but saved at the last moment by Unity Kinkaid who realises what is happening in a dream and goes to save Rose, which also saves Morpheus from Desire's trap.

In the show, Morpheus has people who care enough about him and his realm to want to get involved and help him, not out of a desire to undermine him, but simply because they care about him. That is a drastic change from the comic at this point. Morpheus in the comic is constantly shown to be struggling under the burden of his own responsibilities and this is highlighted by the fact that he doesn't really get any support or assistance, and is far too prideful to ask for it. Lucien gets the promotion and chance to rule in his absence, but it is never framed as a job he shares with Morpheus - at no point does Lucien take the burden of his responsibilities off of him. This is no Samwise Gamgee "I can carry you" moment unfortunately. Lucien does not have the power nor the bond with Morpheus to undertake such a task because Morpheus keeps him at arms length throughout the comics - but Lucienne? Well, time will tell how that may change.

An Apology from the King

In a shock horror twist that comic!Morpheus would sooner die than do himself (ha) the great emo King of the Netflix universe gives Lucienne an apology for his behaviour (sort of).

Episode 9 displays the tension between Morpheus and Lucienne following their "break up" perfectly. Morpheus is clearly in the wrong, and Lucienne is clearly hurt by his dismissal of her support. Yet even after the fight, he still seeks out her advice in determining the cause of the disturbances in the Dreaming. He goes to her first before investigating himself (something that comic!Morpheus wouldn't even consider doing) and is surprisingly capable in swallowing his pride here even though it is clearly a struggle for him.

Later in the episode, once he realises that Lucienne was right about the disturbances, he seeks her out to tell her so, and to confirm that she was right and he was wrong. This is again something that I can't fathom comic!Morpheus doing, even nearer the end of the story I don't believe he does so, certainly not to Lucien. Fiddlers Green drums this point home when he says this:

Fiddlers Green: "... still his time there appears to have changed him as it has changed me." Lucienne: "How so?" Fiddlers Green: "Lucienne, he came to you and told you he was wrong. It was very nearly an apology. The Morpheus I knew was incapable of that."

This further reinforces not just how much Morpheus has changed in a short time, but also how much he respects and cares about Lucienne and their continued relationship.

Platonic Life Partners? Co Ruler and Closest Confident of the Dream King

When I set out to write this meta, it was with the aim to highlight Lucienne's elevated role from her comic counterpart. To try to stress the importance of her character in the show and what this means for the future of the story in the show. By the end of the last episode, Lucienne is practically granted co-ruler status of the Dreaming while Morpheus works on his creations. He asks her if she can "take care of things while he works" which she agrees "with pleasure".

I just... I can NOT stress ENOUGH how much comic!Morpheus needed this person in his life. Even though Lucien looks after the Dreaming whilst Morpheus is away in Season of Mists and Brief Lives, it is always as a last resort with Morpheus continuing to check in on Lucien during Brief Lives as if he expects trouble, and he always seems a bit confused when Lucien tells him all is fine. As if he can't quite understand how the Dreaming could be okay without him there (and I mean, after the trauma of watching your realm which is also technically a part of you crumble to dust I suppose you would be a bit attached to it!).

Comic!Morpheus constantly struggles under the weight of his responsibility. His entire thing is that he is desperate to step away and not be who he is but he simply does not have it in him to do that. He is far too bound by his rules and responsibilities. For Morpheus in the show to be given someone to support him in his rule as King and assist him with the burden of his responsibilities is actually a hugely mindblowing change to the comic, and could honestly have huge repercussions on the story going forward. Not only that, but the Morpheus in the comics is painfully lonely. He desperately needs companionship but he keeps everyone at arms length. He never allows his subjects to get too close to him, even Lucien. Even Matthew isn't afforded the same level of closeness in the comics as he is in the show. In the comics, the ONLY character who Morpheus is close to is Death. Which says a lot by itself. The second character he gets closer to as time goes on is Delirium. Which also says a lot. Think of the characters in terms of their concepts. Morpheus has no close friends in the comics (even his relationship with Hob Gadling in the comic doesn't have half the impact it does in the show) and keeps all those he interacts with at arms length except for Delirium and Death.

But show!Morpheus? He has a Matthew who is already so very devoted to him, a Hob Gadling who waited an extra 33 years on hope alone that he would return to him, and a Lucienne who rules by his side, offers him support, guidance, counsel, companionship and probably a good helping of love. How can this Morpheus possibly carry the same deep loneliness as his comic counterpart? How can this Morpheus be buckling under the weight of his duties when he already has his Samwise Gamgee right there by his side? It poses an interesting question for how the show will handle future story arcs, though it could all prove to simply make for a much more painful story, where we happen to have many more characters to react and show the deeply painful grief that we all feel at his eventual passing - or maybe, just maybe, this is a universe where Hope never died...

[unsoldd]

TADC Prompt

AU: Escaped, as well as Human Caine + Bubble

Relationships: Bunnydoll, Showtime, Gangle x Zooble, and Kinger x Queenie

<•>

In this alternate universe Caine was actually the first human trapped in the digital circus game by his own brother, Able, because he wanted their company all to himself. But Caine figured out that if you twist the ear piece of the headset then you could leave the game. But to make sure Caine would not try to escape they trapped his six year old daughter Bethany (Bubble) in the game as well. They manipulated Caine and Bethany’s minds to make them believe they were AI, and so when new victims were trapped and were confused why Caine was an AI but could not do anything they gave him admin commands. They also made sure Bethany (Bubble) had no arms so IF Caine did end up remembering he would not leave because he would be leaving his daughter behind.

Caine and Bubble do end up remembering that they are real people and not AI thanks to all the members of the circus glitching into what we see Pomni enter in episode two with Gummigoo. They then leave thanks to Caine and enter the human world…

That’s when we learn that when one day passes in the digital world it is only an hour in the real world, so they haven’t missed much… if you don’t count Caine, Bethany and Kinger, as well as the rest which have been abstracted (and we also learn that when a human is abstracted they actually leave the digital world). That’s when we get everyone’s real names:

• Caine the Ringleader is actually Caine Eden, co-founder and head game designer for C&A, as well as a single father to his now (whatever age) year old daughter Bethany.

• Bubble the Assistant(?) is actually Bethany Eden, only daughter to Caine Eden.

• Kinger the Chess Piece is actually Kenneth King, AI specialist for C&A (thanks to the 7 years of computing science in episode 3), husband to Quinn King and father to Paige King.

• Queenie the Other Chess Piece is actually Quinn King, curator of insects (because she likes bugs), wife to Kenneth King and mother to Paige King.

• Pomni the Jester is actually Paige King, algorithm developer for C&A, daughter to Kenneth and Quinn King.

• Ragatha the Rag Doll is actually Ruth Ann, solutions architect for C&A, younger sister to Arthur Ann and Randy Ann.

• Jax the Rabbit is actually Jackson Burrow, app developer for C&A, older brother to Jane Burrow.

• Gangle the Mask is actually Gabriella Satin, team behind the design in making for games characters at C&A, twin sister to Gabriel Satin and girlfriend to Zara Parts

• Zooble the Rubix Cube is actually Zara Parts, games developer for C&A, partner to Gabriella Satin.

• Kaufmo the Clown is actually Kyle Smiles, machine learning engineer for C&A.

<•>

Appearances can be all up to you and you do not need to keep the names or jobs I have listed on top.

Of course like my other prompts this is free to use and credit is not need. I was just bored and thought this was a good idea. And I’ll gladly take in suggestions that you think will be a good story and expand upon it.

[mahdraw]

Cain in the Hazbin Hotel Universe.

History (within the universe of the series, outside of religion).

Unlike his younger brother, Abel, Cain was not content with his rude and controlling father. He made no effort to calm him down and faced him, even with his mother and brother putting themselves in front.

One day, both Cain and Abel decide to get the angels' attention, to see if things calm down in the family. It turns out that Abel sacrifices the best lamb in his flock and receives attention from Sera and Adam. Cain offers a share of his harvest, but is refused due to lack of effort and receives further rejection from his father.

Cain saw his brother becoming an Adam 2.0, increasingly distant from his mother and teaching moral lessons.

Driven by envy and anger, at seeing his brother mirroring his father, Cain ends up fighting and consequently hitting his brother with a rock.

By the time he realized the mistake he made, it was already too late. Sera sends him to hell and Eva's screams are heard, both due to Abel's death and Cain's fall.

Before he can wander aimlessly through hell, Cain is rescued by King Lucifer and Queen Lilith, who, out of consideration for Eve, raised him as their first child.

Cain trained to control and give meaning to the title of first assassin, awakening the dark wings and maintaining order in hell in his master's name.

However, with Charlie arriving, Cain was afraid of committing the same sin a second time and decided to travel through hell, expanding the territory and only returning to the vicinity when the first extermination arrived.

He ensured that the number of deaths did not reach the thousands, but secretly stained the streets gold, using Carmine equipment, paid for by Lucifer. However, he avoided remeeting his father.

In the last extermination (in the hotel) he disguised himself among the cannibals, at the behest of Lucifer himself, and it was on that day that he found his father again, only dead.

[fastestmanalive333]

If I made a DC Movie Universe

Phase 1 Superman: Legacy to kick off it will be a superman movie, heroes are referenced but this is a superman movie.. the villain will be metallo cause we're all tired of lex and zod

Batman: Lonely Place of Dying (introduce Tim Drake, Dick will already be Nightwing)

Wonder Woman 1944 (introduces the JSA, Steve and Etta Diana will help found the JSA, the villains will be Villainy Inc and introduce various of Dianas rogues)

Justice League International Movie(introduces Wally and other heroes and expands on the universe)

Flash Movie(Wally West the villain being Vandal Savage and will adapt the Savage Velocity storyline, Wally will deal with the weight of the mantle, linda will be introduced along with the McGees)

Phase 2

Superman Last Son (an adaptation of the Last Son storyline and will introduce Chris Kent)

Hal Jordan GL Movie based on Sinestro Corps War

Batman: Knightfall (an adaptation of the Knightfall storyline and will introduce Bane and Azrael)

Supergirl: Earth Angel HBO Series (Linda Danvers series, an adaptation of Peter Davids run, Kara makes a cameo at the end)

Wonder Woman: Gods and Mortals (this will take inspiration from Perezs run while being its own thing while the villainy inc were the villains of the first film for this one the villain will in fact be Circe, it'll show Dianas relationships with Donna, and her daughter Lyta.. and wanting to save her husband, old and ailing Steve Trevor)

Young Justice (Introduces Superboy, Wonder Girl, and Impulse, it will be self contained while adapting Peter Davids run)

Hellblazer (Mostly Based on Mike Careys run and self containedl)

Teen Titans(60s' esque series based on the fab five everything aesthetically looks 60s but there's modern technology villain will be Mr Twister)

Blue and Gold HBO series (literally a buddy cop)

JSA (After the Events of Wonder Woman Gods and Mortals the JSA Return and get back together, their history uncovered, it will have them come face to face with a villain they long thought dead Per Degaton)

Martian Manhunter Movie

Infinity Inc Movie(introduces the Infinity Inc team and Huntress.. the illegitimate Daughter of Batman this will adapt the Generations saga)

Titans Together (fab five movie, the court of owls will be the villains being an illuminati type organization)

Justice League of America(Based on Morrisons run)

The Atom (Will Feature Ryan Choi as Atom, and adapt his run, he will go on a quest to look for Ray Palmer)

Phase 3

JLA vs Titans (brings both teams face to face with one another as The Titans are framed for conspiracy the villain is revealed to be Checkmate run by Loren Jupiter the Black King who seeks destroy all superheroes after the death of his daughter Lilith in Titans Together, ends with the disbanding of both teams)

Batman: No Mans Land (an adaptation of No Mans Land introduces Cassandra Cain, Helena reveals herself to be Bruces daughter)

Wonder Woman: Gods and Monsters(so ends the ww trilogy brings Diana face to face with Ares whom after the disbandment of the league seeks to cause a global war beyond anything the worlds seen this will bring Diana, Donna, Cassie, and Lyta together)

New Gods Movie (will introduce the New Gods the main characters will probably be Scott and Barda)

Flash: The Return of Barry Allen(after the disbandment of the justice league and Titans Wally plans to propose to Linda Park, but things seem to get distrupted as his old mentor seems to have returned but how? spoiler it is really Thawne.. in the end tho wally and linda will marry)

Green Lantern: Blackest Night(an adaptation of blackest night)

JLA: United Parts 1 & 2 (Based on Final Crisis, all heroes will be brought together to face off against darkseid, Linda Danvers and Batman will be the two big sacrifices)

Superman: Brainiac(after JL United Brainiac appears to collect earth, Pa Kent will die,

Phase 4

Nightwing and Flamebird(HBO Series, Chris Kent will return him and Thara will become Nightwing and Flamebird)

Superman: New Krypton (an adaptation of the New Krypton saga)

Huntress (batman may be dead but his legacy lives on in his daughter the Huntress)

The Flash: Blitz (Wally and Linda are now expecting twins, this will introduce Hunter Zolomon and be an adaptation of Blitz ending Wallys trilogy) Green Lantern: Wrath of the First Lantern(will introduce simon baz and adapt both rise of the third army and wrath of the first lantern concluding the trilogy)

Aquaman: King of Atlantis(Will be based off Peter Davids run)

Superboy (HBO Series, will feature Conner Kent)

Dr Fate (will feature Kent Nelson)

Hawkman & Hawkgirl (HBO Series, will be based off Vendittis run)

Blue Beetle: Graduation Day(Ted Kord and Jaime Reyes team up)

Nightwing (HBO Series)

Green Lantern/Green Arrow: Hard Travelling Heroes (will feature Hal and Ollie)

Black Canary (HBO series) Teen Titans(Will Show YJ taking on the footsteps of the Fab Five and becoming the new teen titans)

Batman Incorporated(Introduces Leviathan.. an organization that seeks to destabilize society, Huntress and Nightwing band together to form Batman Incorporated)

Magog(HBO Series)

Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? (an adaptation of whatever happened to the man of tomorrow.. superman retires in the end)

Kingdom Come(years have passed as the final battle of the universe has come... )

[talesfromawannabewriter]

History rewritten

"Once upon a time, there lived a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was a city that was inhabited by beings of pure light and goodness who maintained evil and worshipped all good. One of these angels was called Lucifer. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation, and beloved by many of his brothers and sisters, especially his father. However, he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders for they believed his ideas were dangerous to their order. So, he was forced to sit and watch as the elder angels began to expand the universe in their ways.

From the very dust that came from the planet called Earth, they created Adam and Lilith. From the moment they opened their eyes, they were told that they were made for each other. To be by each other side through thick and thin, through the good and bad times, until death do, they part. Unfortunately, the first two humans couldn't be more incompatible than they were. Lilith was headstrong and fiercely independent while Adam was incredibly loyal to Heaven and simply wanted to make them happy. However, they both had one thing in common, they both wanted respect and love.

They simply couldn't get that from either.

And it was like that until one day when everything changed. Lucifer had come into the gardens curious about the new humans. When he came across the first man, he couldn't believe what he was before his very eyes. A beautiful human crying his eyes out by a pond. Drawn in by the captivating creature Lucifer comforted him and the two spent their days in Eden falling deeply in love.

One day in the Garden Lucifer decided that on that day he wanted Adam to know what true free will was like. So, he offered the fruit of knowledge as a gift to him, which Adam gladly accepted. However, this gift came with a curse. For with this single act of disobedience, sin had entered the world with it a new era of evil came with it. And the order Heaven tried to maintain was shattered. As the angels came down to punish Lucifer but Adam stepped in and told them that if they were going to punish his love then he demanded that he be given the same punishment.

With heavy hearts, they did as Adam wanted and cast him and Lucifer into the dark pit that was created by the reckless act. Never allowing either of them to see the good that came from free will only the cruel and the wicked. That did not dismay the couple in fact it only brought them closer, while Lucifer lost his will to even have that dream, he had found a new one in his family. For soon after they established their home, they were blessed with a baby boy, Cain. and then soon after their son Able, and then finally a baby girl named Charlotte. Lucifer focused all his being into keeping them safe and happy.

As for Adam, he thrived as the Queen of their kingdom empowering any and all demons with his voice and his music, and as Hell's population grew so did its power. Adam's hope still remains to this day and hopes that his dream will one day be passed on to all of his children."

Adam closed the book he was reading to his daughter, saw her tired expression, and chuckled before getting off the bed, placing the book on the nightstand, and tucking her in. As he kissed Charlie goodnight his daughter asked him,

"Mama, what happened to Lilith?"

Adam paused and thought about what to say to his little one who was giving a sleepy questioning look with her adorable curious eyes. He sighed and said.

"I honestly don't know Hun, but from my understanding, Lilith eventually died and was placed in Heaven. Or at least that's my conclusion since we've never seen her down here."

Adam shakes his head before giving his daughter a comforting smile and continuing, "It's best not to think about it, now get to sleep, my little princess." Adam gives her one last kiss before turning off the lights and heading out of her room. Closing the door, he turns and sees his husband leaning against the wall with a contemplated look. As he stared at the other side of the walls. Adam cleared his throat and Lucifer looked at him before giving a shaky smile.

"Hey, honey I just came in to kiss Char-Char goodnight. Sorry I couldn't be there for story time, but paperwork can truly be a bitch to deal with ha-ha."

"Are you ok?" Adam asked while raising an eyebrow. Lucifer tried to reassure his queen but only sighed as he looked away, guilt eating at his insides like a parasite.

"I, I heard the story you told Charlie, I heard everything, and I... (sighs) You know that's not how it exactly went right?" "Yes, but I don't plan on ever telling them the truth, the full truth, because even though you were a selfish asshole then doesn't mean you're that same person now." Adam gives Lucifer a small smile before placing a hand on his cheek and turning his face gently towards him. "Now you are the gentle and kind father and husband who'd do anything for his family, including saying goodnight to our daughter quickly so he can give his queen a goodnight kiss as well" Adam winked before turning and walking away to their bedroom.

Lucifer smiles at the retreating form of the human-turned-demon and quietly makes his way into his daughter's room. he tiptoed toward Charlie who was fast asleep. Bending down he gave his little light a loving fatherly look while gently petting the top of her head. "I'm so thankful that you are my daughter more than anything Charlie. That goes the same for your brothers, and the same for your mother, I'm thankful for this family more than anything, and I'll do anything to protect this family through whatever means necessary." Lucifer said his voice barely above a whisper. Conjuring up one of Charlie's many stuffed animals he places it right in his daughter's arms causing her to subconsciously smile and hug the toy tightly. Lucifer stood up and with one last look teleported his way to his bedroom where his queen waited patiently for his arrival.

[celestiall0tus]

So, I've chatted about this with my discord recently, and now it's time to share it with y'all, and that's my plans with Truth Beneath the Rose.

See, I went in with the intention of just writing Adam's story. His fall from grace, rehabilitation, and finding a new home in hell. But then I begun to expand on the universe of this AU, how everything works that the characters can't see (ie with God and Roo) and how other lives were affected by this system, like with Cain. It grew and grew and after a little joke made, it got me thinking.

I've mentioned it before in passing posts, but when I was younger, I had ambitions to be comic artist. I even wrote little fan comics in the Sonic fandom with my OCs back in high school. This dream crashed and shattered when my ex (then boyfriend) told me that my art was trash and my comics were awful. To an emotionally and mentally unstable artist that valued that person's opinion, it destroyed me. It's why I stopped drawing so frequently, switched to primarily writing, and didn't make comics again after that, until about a couple years ago. While I don't have any grand ambitions beyond finally getting around to writing my other book and eventually getting things self published (fuck traditional publishing), an idea came up to revitalize an old dream.

Moving forward, I will be breaking Truth Beneath the Rose into "issues" with a focus on specific people. As of right now, these people will be Adam, Cain, Lucifer, the sister goddesses, my Exorcist OC trio, and Alastor. Now, I know I had initially said that I was going to avoid adding in spoilers, but as I was forming the universe, who with what, and so on, I did latch onto a specific idea and it's now a part of this. Seeing as how this is an AU, I'm going to run with it given what I've got planned. That said, some others may be added to the line-up, but those listed above will be what I focus on.

And as a closing out, this set of pages will be seen as the first issue. I will make some changes to tags and shit later once I have it finished. And, well, I'm looking forward to creating my own comic series. I tried with Miraculous, but it just wasn't the right time. Now I'm going to try again with Hazbin doing what I know best. To all my niche fans of psychology, character analysis, trauma, healing, and more, I'm going to enjoy bringing y'all Truth Beneath the Rose.

[brujasyazfalto]

I've started to concept the idea for a The Amazing Digital Circus x Ride the Cyclone AU

Right now the name is

The Amazing Digital Cyclone

But it might change in the future, work in progress and everything.

Right now everything is in a concept stage and is subject to change in the future, expect the Masterpost and other official content at the end of November.

CONTEXT & INFO [WIP]

The AU will just mix the premise of TADC with the one of RTC instead of being a "Ride the Cyclone but what if TADC characters" type of story. Instead, the story will have the TADC human cast finding themselves, after brutally dying in a rollercoaster incident, in a circus-like-wonderland in-between life and death created by The Marvelous Caine. Here, the members of the Circus shall compete for a chance of being revived, but who's worth it the most?

None of the members remember their past lives, only the feeling they had during and about their death. They do not share the backstories with the original RTC cast, they will share some similarities with some of them at most.

All characters are adults around the same age they are in the original show. They all work/are connected to Uranium's local church and are part of the chuaior, most of the joining as it could have been their ticket out of that boring town.

DESIGNS [WIP]

All the designs shown here are, well, still being designed. Ponmi's specially is still in development, you can take the bottom right head shot as the direction I've decided to take. It's really hard designing a Ponmi, mad kudos to those who already did!

I don't plan on changing Caine's design outside from expanding it and adding more detail. He was very easy to design and all the elements floated into place as I drew, unlike Ponmi who has been hell on earth. I change his title from "The Amazing" to "The Marvelous" because, and bare with me, the world marvelous feels more purple to me and that is this version of Caine's main color. I don't know how I feel about taking away his characteristic red but I do like the diversity it brings to the "Caine roster".

Bubble takes after the rat that's nibbling Karnek wires (ultimately killing both of them in the end), I do not know if the same will happen in this universe though. I might make some slight tweets to his design cause I just can't seem to get the teeth right.

I haven't made any other concept art for the other members designs but I will get there eventually!

OTHER

I don't know what is the format this au is being taught in (comic, show, video game, visual novel and so on...) so any type of world building in that way is a bit iffy.

Consequently, I have no idea if any NPCs like GummyGoo or the Angle will appear but I do like the idea of having them in the au... so who knows?

I'd like to add Able in some way shape or form but try as I might I CAN'T SQUEEZE HIM IN! IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THAT ONE GUY WHO SELF-INSERTED HIMSELF INTO AMPHIBIA I SWEAR!

This is done by a TADC fan who enjoys the concept of Ride the Cyclone and its songs, my priority in what I stay truthfull to is TADC. I just took what I liked from RTC and now I'll create a story with it.

That being said, see you when I update. Feel free to ask questions!

[eeqrv]

verse & vision.

◟ VERSE & VISION 001 (ANNIE, SMOKE., SINNERS) SONG: “HARD TIMES” BY ETHEL CAIN 𝄞

SYNOPSIS.; an eeqrv V&V is a lyric-based analysis; V&V’s connect the characters, themes, or relationships in a movie or series to a song’s lyrics or tone. tune in to the song for a more immersive read.

CONTENT.; !sinners spoilers!, language, mentions of the death of annie and smoke’s daughter (emotional subject, warning!)

wc.; 1k

hide me there, under the leaves.

oh. we’re thrown in headfirst on the opening verse.

i visualize the child’s grave; secluded, under the tree’s shadow, under the leaves. i see smoke, knelt in the dirt, as he sets a handful of flowers on the grave. he sets the bouquet next to another; a bunch of lilacs. annie had unearthed the flowers earlier that evening, nestled the bouquet in the dirt, with the stems hidden under a mound of leaves, so the wind wouldn’t disturb them.

‘cause i hate this story, where happiness ends and dies with you.

again, a reference to their child. to be clear, i don’t intend to mischaracterize either of them, or encourage a narrative that annie and smoke never knew happiness once their child died. rather, i think the specific sense of euphoria at the idea of their child, their life as a family, ended and died with the kid. from another perspective, think of the nature of their grief. in an instant, the child was lost. in that instant, the specific sense of happiness associated w the child ended and died. such an abrupt change, so unexpected, no time to brace. so, true, annie might revel in the sight of the first magnolia of the season. and, true, smoke’s at peace when he’s w stack, a cigarette in his mouth, and cash in his pocket. but, something is amiss, and annie and smoke both understood what it was.

i thought good guys get to be happy. i’m not happy. i am, poison in the water, and unhappy.

perfect. here’s an invitation to discuss smoke a bit more. throughout sinners, there are references to smoke and stack’s troubled past, and of course, their troubled present. in particular, there’s the trouble in chicago, their respective relationships (annie & mary) and the abuse and death of their father. let’s consider their dad’s death as it applies to smoke. he did it, he murdered their dad to protect his brother. it’s inescapable. the thought of it, the feel of it. it’s a part of smoke. so, in addition to a number of other questionable deeds, smoke himself wouldn’t consider himself a good guy, no. in smoke’s case, that line is sort of an illusion. he had clung to the wishful thought that the universe would let him have this one thing. but, he’s poison in the water. to expand on that, put it into perspective; imagine the lyric in the background of smoke’s final scene. he’s hurt, in the interstice of life and death. as annie appears and encourages smoke to let go, to join her and their child in the spirit, i hear it. he’d hear it. how he’s poison in the water. that pause before smoke sets out his hands to hold his child and join the girls, it’s the manifestation of smoke’s fear that he’d somehow ruin it. interestingly, i read an analysis of this scene. it highlighted annie’s use of smoke’s real name in this scene in particular. she told him he’d have to leave smoke behind before he’s able to hold the child and transition to the spirit realm. there it is; that’s when he let’s go. in reference to the verse (to create a full-circle) i interpret this as a sort of closure for elijah; once he let go of smoke, and embraced elijah, the things that plagued smoke cease to exist. now, he can be in peace.

a little girl who needs her daddy real bad.

damn. ok, remember smoke’s “papa’s here” line. it’s a direct connection to this lyric. he thinks of her 24/7. smoke knew their daughter needed them; her papa, her mom. i think of annie and smoke’s relief once the three of them are reunited. paired w the visuals of smoke and annie’s final scene; smoke’s liberated expression, and annie in white (a symbol of peace and renewal or rebirth) it’s a beautiful moment of reconciliation, reunion, and alignment.

in the corner, on my birthday, you watched me. dancing right there in the leaves.

wow. here, the child’s birth and death-date are the same, forever interwoven. so, i interpret the on my birthday line as the anniversary of (both) life and death. for the past 7 years, from the window of the shop, annie’s watched the wind whisk the leaves over and around the grave, as if her girl’s dancing right there in the leaves.

prayin’ i’d be like you, doing all of the things that you do.

there’s no doubt, annie and smoke would’ve devoted so much to their daughter’s upbringing. imagine the things annie and smoke would’ve taught her; the lessons, the experiences, the stories. i imagine as she would’ve grown, so would her interest in her mother’s practice(s). but, annie would claim there’d be a lot more crickets in mason jars, and easter speeches at sunday service before she’s old enough to learn, and to do all of the things her mother does.

i’m tired of you, still tied to me. too tired to move, too tired to leave.

gut ? w r e n c h e d. i think of smoke’s return, 7 years later. 7 years late. annie navigated the worst of the grief alone. now, he returns to reopen that wound, no warning. remember annie asking, “what do you want from me,” ? and smoke sat there for a second, quiet as a church mouse, before he responds. in smoke’s case, the lyric represents an inner monologue. it’s as if he’s questioning if annie’s tired of this, tired of him. then, once he told her he loves her, and thinks about her 24/7, there’s a silence between smoke and annie. again, smoke wonders if she’s tired of him, tied to her. however, as annie embraces smoke, it’s sort of a response; one that quells those doubts. yes, she’s tired (of the grief) but, she won’t, she can’t ever tire of smoke. also, their embrace is so too tired to move, too tired to leave. think of it, it isn’t symbolic of a desire to separate or disregard the other. more so, i think there’s a juxtaposition. on one hand, the sight of the other awakens that grief, however, it also ignites a sense of interconnection, security, and (of course) love. neither would rather be elsewhere. neither would leave.

𝓮. जया ⎯⎯ EEQRV’25, please, feel free to leave questions, comments, or feedback here or in the eeqrv mailbox. ★

[inamindfarfaraway]

I give you a Batman AU timeline wherein Selina Kyle is the richest person in Gotham City and its first vigilante, protecting it with her expanded, somewhat rearranged Catfamily. Bruce Wayne is a master thief and self-made socialite.

But this is not a basic one-to-one swap! I have tried very hard to do every character justice while adapting the parts of comics canon I accept (basically the post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint universe plus Duke), which is why it’s ridiculously detailed. There are 60 PAGES.

Featuring:

Selina and Maggie Kyle, Leslie Thompkins, Holly Robinson, Barbara Gordon, Helena Bertinelli, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain and Kitrina Falcone being main characters.

Characters who age consistently, despite how little comics continuity wants to conform to the real progression time. I will make it make sense -

Characters who are allowed to be happy and romantically committed, and have meaningful development addressing their flaws and traumas in coherent narrative arcs. Their growth is not always linear, but never just undone. The Cats make healthier choices than the canon Bats make at times, like going to therapy, due to their different contexts and relationships, so there’s overall less angst and self-destructiveness. But they’re still incredibly traumatised and frequently messy about it.

Female characters who are written with respect, complex interiority and agency.

Deep, nuanced relationships, foil dynamics (familial, platonic and romantic) and vigilante philosophy.

New costume designs and codenames.

Emotional support cats for everyone with a Greek mythology naming theme inspired by Selina’s canon cat Hecate.

Maggie doing cool, important stuff as a civilian and not being fridged and stuck in a mental hospital for years.

Holly being a superhero.

Babs becoming Oracle and staying that way.

Villains dying or reforming and staying that way.

More of Holly and Karon being a lesbian couple. And Brucelina, Dickbabs, Timsteph, Timbern and Harlivy.

Harvey Dent, Two-Face and Talia al Ghul being sympathetic, three-dimensional antivillains/antiheroes with genuine love for people.

And more! I don’t expect anyone to read this in one sitting, but if any of the above interests you, please give it a try. Then you can make my day by telling me what you think! Comments, questions, analysis and fanart are very welcome.

I’ve also made a Discord server. Probably overzealous, but what the heck?

[xxxnightcorequeenxxxv3]

The Curse of Magical Girl AU 14

Here, we have some characters from What is currently labeled as Team C (for now?) Carrie Kelly, Drake Winston & Gan.

Just so you know, team C is support and not the team we will focus on.

Team A Upper Gotham - Richard Greyson, Barbra Gordon, Cassandra Cain, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Timothy Drake, Duke Thomas, Damien Wayne, Harper Row. Team B Bludhaven - Mia Mizoguchis, Jeny Wern AJ, Terrance McGinnis, Matthew McGinnis, Thomas Wayne (Robin 3000), Robert Cheng, Lacy Chang, James Gordon II. Team C Lower Gotham - Carrie Kelly, Drake Winston, Lance Bruner, Bette Kane, Cullen Row, Claire Clover, Helena Bertinelli, Lance Heart, Gan. This is the current test Map we have for the AU. (location names may change or be added, but the overall territories should be correct)

My music lists for the AU

Since this is turning into a group project with

@dannyphantom-justiceleauge & @davestridernb And they are helping me expand this universe way more.

We are working on many pieces in the background, so the updates are slow. (Yes, we've broken the spreadsheets, etc.)

Some things may change from the previous posts. I'll try to keep things updated. But if you notice changes, that's why.

How objects are used vids.

[spark-hearts2]

TADC BUBBLE THEORIES!? I HAVE TADC BUBBLE THEORIES! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF THE ‘TISMS (tell me all about it right now)

I made a post about it! Linked here

But, to expand more on my thoughts, I honestly wonder if Bubble's bits are genuinely bits. As in, Bubble interrupts Caine with something that implies that the adventure is going to suck ass. Which, is obviously funny to us, the audience. But, considering these lines in universe, this is very self aware. Being self aware is necessary for good comedy, but what does it mean for Bubble of all creatures to be this way?

Bubble seems to be oddly dependent on Caine. He spawns out of Caine's hat, only seen around with Caine, only interacts with Caine, and Caine pops him when the bit is over. But at the same time his dialog doesn't make him sound like a sock puppet that Caine uses to bounce jokes off of. It's possible that I'm wrong and Caine purposely makes jokes at his adventure's expense, but I doubt it.

So Bubble is his own guy but for some reason he has been tied to Caine. Why? I have no idea. But I hope to god (Gooseworx) that Caine and Bubble's situation is explained further than funny guy and funny guy.

Gooseworx did say that Bubble only talks to Caine in the show, but what if that's because Bubble will become Abel, and therefor is no longer Bubble! Ohhh I've connected the dots. I've connected them.

[friendcrumbs]

come get your sillies!!! delivery au ch1 is up

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63426304

Herbert West had to move continents after his experiment on his temporarily-dead mentor goes almost right, had his chance at a great academic career at the illustrious Miskatonic University snatched from him by a plagiarist, and, worst of all, he gets an ill-advised crush on the guy delivering all of his suspicious packages.

OR, Five deliveries that Herbert ordered, one that he did not, and one he delivered.

tags under the cut!

Rating: T No Archive Warnings Apply

Daniel Cain/Herbert West Hans Gruber & Herbert West (Re-Animator)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Humor; Crushes; expanding on that one line in canon that said that dan works as a delivery driver; Fluff; 5+1 Things; (5+2 technically. again); POV Herbert West (Re-Animator); no beta we die like no one in this fic :-) (except for hill); Out of Character; <- a bit. herbert is well-adjusted. mostly