#the ''say again???'' representation that she is I owe her my life

[yashley]

ashleyisms for the soul

[golden-moony]

king of my heart | pt. 2

pairings: lando norris x fem!reader | pato o'ward x fem!reader

warnings: love triangle? kinda.

author's note: go get some popcorn cause we have some drama here🍿... and it's a long part, so enjoy!!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, frosenqvist, and 79,121 others!

yourusername Miami GP over and out ✅🏁 No words could ever explain just how grateful I am for all of you and for the opportunity that I get to cover this amazing sport with such incredible people by my side. Thank you for everything Miami, I hope to see you again soon! 🌴💖

user1 the power she holds 🙌

user2 she's really living my dream 🥹

lissiemackintosh so happy to be able to share this with you!! love u❤️

yourusername we really need to do this more often😘 love u too! user3 y/n and lissie hosting track tv together is my new roman empire fr user4 SLAY QUEENS!! user5 the queens are thriving user6 i wanna be friends with them so bad 😫

user7 omg girl you're STUNNING

user8 BEST F1 WAG

user9 facts facts facts user10 she's not even a wag lol it's so obvious lando just keeps this nobody around for when he's bored and horny user11 user10 this "nobody" has done SO much in terms of women representation in motorsport, she's hardworking and a lovely woman. meanwhile, you're just a sad little person who's jealous of her because she's successful and close to your crush, who doesn't even know who you are. so get a life and stop embarrassing yourself. user12 user11 SAY IT LOUDER 👏 user13 user11 PREACH!!!

user14 i don't know if i wanna be her or be with her😩

user15 this is such a mood tbh

landonorris so proud of you, boo😍

yourusername 🥰🧡 user16 YNLANDO NATION WE WON user17 we love a supporting boyfriend 🤩 user18 i want what they have, your honor user19 is this considered a soft launch or what? user20 y'all are delulu😂 it's so obvious they're just friends user21 user20 girl being delulu is the solulu 🙌

user22 so when are we gonna talk about felix liking the post?

user23 i'm lost sorry, who's felix? user24 user23 he's pato's teammate in indycar and one of his besties user25 if felix liked then WHERE'S PATO user26 user25 doing more important things than being focused on this girl.

lilymhe such a pretty girl 💗

alex_albon should i be jealous? yourusername you should indeed. can u fight? user24 the friendship i didn't know i needed 🥹 user25 MY FAV WAGS INTERACTING YAY

user26 f1 is so lucky to have you!!!

user27 LOOOL why would they be lucky to have her?😂😂😂 she's nothing special user28 user27 and yet she's still rising 💅 user29 user27 then why are you even on her post? lol obsessed much?

user30 my role model ❤️‍🩹

📞 incoming call

[y/n; normal] [pato; cursive]

"...Hello? Did you butt-dialed me or something?"

"Uhm, hi. It's not a butt-dial. I-I actually just wanted to talk to you. Hear your voice, y'know. I've been kinda missing you."

"Oh really? And here I was thinking that your cold behavior toward me over the past three weeks meant that you didn't want anything to do with me. Silly me, I guess."

"I-I'm... [sighs]. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. About the way I've been treating you. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am sorry. I know I've been a total jerk-"

"Yeah, you can put it that way."

"...I've been a total jerk and I regret it very much. You didn't deserve it at all. I just- I'm not trying to excuse my awful behavior but I just think I got- Uhm..."

"You got what?"

"Well... I saw Lando's instagram story when you went back to Monaco, as you've probably already figured it out. And I think- Well... I got jealous. And I know it probably sounds stupid now but at the time it felt like a punch in the face."

"Pato..."

"I know I didn't and still have absolutely no business to be jealous about you and Lando, cause you and I are not dating or anything and you don't owe me any kind of explanation about the type of relationship you have with him. But after the great time we spend together in Long Beach... I don't know, it just hurted seeing you with him. But that doesn't excuse anything and I just regret so much the way I've been treating you since then, it hasn't been fair to you at all."

"And it didn't cross your mind that we could have had this conversation way before now? I mean, you waited three weeks to finally talk to me like a decent human being, how-"

"I know and I'm so-"

"Let me finish."

"Sorry, go on."

"However, I do appreciate that you're finally acknowledging all of this and communicating with me like an actual adult. I know it's not always easy to do. And although I don't owe you any kind of explanation, I just want you to know that there's nothing going on between Lando and me."

"So you and him...?"

"We're friends and that's it. We care for each other but there's nothing going on."

"Oh... well, thanks for clarifying that for me."

"Yeah, yeah. You'll have to work harder for my forgiveness, anyway. I appreciate the call but it won't be that easy for you."

"Is that so?"

"You've heard me."

"In that case, what would you say if I invite you for a few days to come here to Punta Mita? Maybe that'll help me a little to earn your forgiveness."

"... I'm sorry, what!?"

"You've heard me."

"You're joking. You have to be joking."

"I'm not joking. You're still in Miami, right?"

"I am..."

"Great! My brother in law is in Miami too and he'll take the jet tomorrow morning. If you want to, you can join him and come here with him! We'd be thrilled to have you here too."

"Oh my God... Pato, I don't know what to say!"

"Say yes and you'd make this birthday boy the happiest man in the world. You'd even make my sister happy, I've been telling her a lot about you and now she's eager to meet you."

"I hope you've been telling her good things about me, then."

"Only the best. She's even on your side, y'know. Said I was being a giant cabrón and needed to make things right. She wasn't wrong tho."

"[giggles] Fine. I'll go, but I'm only doing this for your sister."

"I'll take that anyway! I'll let Brett know you'll join him and I'll send you the details, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Now go and pack your bags for tomorrow."

"Hey! Don't get bosy with me, mister!"

"[Laughs] Fine. Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you, birthday boy!"

patriciooward posted to his story!

[caption 1; 🦈] [caption 2; beautiful views]

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; para-para-paradise 🌞] [caption 2; in his sharkboy era] [caption 3; 🐶❤️]

paddockgossips

liked by magui_corceiro and 84,091 others!

paddockgossips Among the alleged "breakup" between y/n and Lando, the McLaren driver was photographed last night having fun in a Monaco club in the company of Max Fewtrell and other friends. Some sources have said that Lando seemed very cozy with a blonde woman at the party, whom he later left with. However, we cannot verify this information in any way, so it remains a rumor.

user1 I HAVE A CHANCE AGAIN (i'm delulu)

user2 so this confirms ynlando is over?? 😭

user3 girl i'm devastated 😭😭😭 user4 i'm still in denial user5 well they were never together to begin with user6 user5 THIS!! people act like they were a couple when they NEVER confirmed anything 😂

user7 "blonde woman at the party" "it remains a rumor" and magui goes and like the post LOL

user8 she's so desperate for attention🙄 user9 who's magui??? user10 user9 she's kika's friend and she was dating football player João Félix not so long ago (in fact, i thought they were still together lol) user11 user10 and don't forget she's a cheater. user12 user9 she's trouble

user13 yn >>>>>>>> magui

user14 user13 no need to compare them

user15 sorry but single lando it's so hot 🥵

user16 SO TRUE user17 FACTS he looks so good omfg

user18 in his heartbreaker era 😎

user19 in his reputation era 😎 user20 in his idgaf era 😎

user21 i'm a child of divorce fr

user22 i know y'all love y/n for some reason but i'm SO glad lando finally got away from her.

user23 SAME. and if magui makes him happy then great for him user24 stfu i'm mourning here

user25 y/n this magui that but max was, is and will forever be lando's true wag💅

user26 the one and only indeed

elbaoward posted to her story!

[caption1; off to dinner] [caption2; my love🤍] [caption 3; lovebirds!]

patriciooward

liked by landonorris, yourusername, brettkimbro, and 86,382 others!

patriciooward BDAY WKND DUMP 📸 thank y'all for all the love❤️‍🔥

user1 THE HARD LAUNCH IT'S HARD LAUNCHING

user2 OMG IT'S HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CAAAAALM

user3 he really said i'll give you what you want: thrist traps and y/n... and he's so real for that

user4 he really knows his audience user5 king behavior if u ask me user6 everybody say thank you Pato 🙏

user7 YNPATO NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING??

user8 I'M STILL SPEECHLESS user9 they're so perfect i wanna cry😭 user10 LOVE TO SEE🔥

user11 as a ynlando shipper i have to admit they're cute but ngl this still hurts 😩

user12 MOOD user13 ynlando will always be in our hearts 🥺 user14 ynlando >>>>>>>>>> ynpato user15 user13 girl grow up.

user16 THAT SHOULD BE ME

elbaoward where are my credits for the last pic? cuties🤍

user17 u literally gave us the cutest pic ever user18 elba thank you so much for your service🫡 user19 elba is ynpato's #1 fan and you can't tell me otherwise user20 elba is just like us fr user21 LOVE YOU ELBAAAAA 🩷

user22 MOM AND DAD

user23 can't believe how fast she moved on and got together with this dude lol lando really dodged a bullet with her

user24 how fast she moved on?? girl y/n and lando were never even together so stfu user25 ???? why are you even on pato's ig post? go away user26 user23 y/n is such an attention seeker and yet everyone loves her, i'll never understand it 🥱

user27 not to be that person but i would KILL to be that piñata😏

user28 MOOD

frosenqvist oh to be tanned, young and in love

patriciooward 😜 user29 IN LOVE??? FELIX BESTIE TELL US MORE user30 i don't know about y'all but this is all the confirmation i need about ynpato being real, bye user31 i think i can hear the wedding bells user32 user31 yesss and felix as pato's best man

user33 bestie don't be shy and drop more y/n pics 🫶

user34 i second the motion !!!

user35 NOT LANDO LIKING THE POST LOOOOL

user36 he is so unserious i love him user37 ICONIC BEHAVIOR TBH user38 yeah but i just know he's crying inside user39 user38 for what? lol lando knows he's so much better than this cheaper version of him. user40 user39 i'm so done with people like you who insult pato just because you cannot defend lando with good arguments.

yourusername magical weekend 💖

patriciooward with you there? always user41 STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE OMG user42 this is such an upgrade tbh user43 SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥹 user44 what a bitch.

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; back to reality✈️] [caption 2; I'm a high performance athlete. Athletes sweat. Sweat, baby] [caption 3; cutest model🧡]

paddockgossips

liked by magui_corceiro and 53,237 other people!

paddockgossips NEW WAG ALERT? 🚨 Magui Corceiro, the Portuguese model and actress, attended the Monaco GP after being seen a few days ago having lunch with Lando. It has been rumored that they could be in a relationship, especially since Lando and y/n apparently went different ways, and Corceiro's presence in the paddock has not gone unnoticed by anyone. Still, neither Lando nor Magui have confirmed or denied these rumors.

user1 A TRIGGER WARNING WOULD BE NICE NEXT TIME

user2 um let's hope there isn't a next time user3 user2 let's pray girl, let's pray 🙏

user4 "neither lando nor magui have confirmed or denied these rumors" well that's bs cause she just liked the post

user5 istg she's trying so hard to get attention user6 lando was asked about magui and he said she was just a friend... and then she goes and does this lol what a clout chaser user7 and people used to say that y/n was after lando's fame and yet she NEVER did anything like this user8 she's such a pick me girl

user9 everything i know of this girl has been against my will istg

user10 SAME

user11 oh good luck lando

user12 oh be prepared for the y/n fans and little girls that'll come attack magui when she hasn't even done anything wrong

user13 literally they're just mad at magui cause she's dating their fav driver loool user14 they're only jealous cause magui is a gorgeous woman user15 user14 she's gorgeous but she's still a snake

user16 i'd ask why lando would be with someone like her, but then i remember he's an adult and if he wants someone like her by his side then that's up to him. let's not treat him like a baby please

user17 say👏 it👏 louder👏

user18 weeeeell if this is the kind of people lando likes to have around then i guess y/n really dodged a bullet with him

user19 FACTS user20 i mean at the end of the day he's just another privileged white boy, so🤷‍♀️ user21 i really don't get all the hate that she's getting, is she really that problematic? user22 user21 girl google it yourself but yeah, she is

user23 I MISS MY GIRL Y/N WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEE??

user24 what is she even doing there?

user25 must be cause lando wanted her to be there user26 why y'all never asked the same thing about y/n? y'all are such hypocrites istg user27 user26 cause y/n was actually doing her job????? user28 user26 oh you're stupid 😂😂

user29 magui in the paddock, pato not being able to finish Indy 500... it really is a shitty day huh

user30 DON'T EVEN REMIND ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH PATO OMFG user31 I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT PATO user32 the only good part is that y/n and his family were there for him ❤️‍🩹

see y'all in part 3!

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65

(if you'd like to be tagged in the next part, just let me know in the comments!🧡)

[wolfavens]

ghost car of barna road

track 3 - liberty belle 1/2

my manager greeted me in irish.

i blinked at the screen in mute panic. i couldn’t remember how to reply. words and languages collided in my brain. it was a car crash, baby, and in the end all that came out of my mouth was a prolonged aaah with no end in sight. a perfect visual representation would be a multilanguage tsunami, pouring out of my ears and pooling around my slippers on the dusty rug of my childhood bedroom.

i used to write those words down into a black notebook, watching you mock me from that dusty rug. you and your smug gaeltacht born grin. who would’ve thought i will forget them all by the time i’m 30.

“how did the move go?”

move. to galway. my hometown. i found my voice again and rushed out: “oh yeah! the move went okay. got here late last night. drive was smooth. not many cars around after midnight.”

“hehe, don’t get used to it. it’s a totally different story after 8am.”

we chatted for a while, arranging to meet in dublin next month when i was all settled in. won’t take long. all i needed was to get a flat, a car - did i need help with the flat? there are probably relocation programmes for employees available. no. i think i got it. did i tho?

we finished the call twenty minutes later. the fact i managed to scrape by enough words to at least tell him goodbye in irish seemed to cheer him up a bit.

i finished up some minor work tasks, sipping at the remainder of my mother’s disgusting herbal tea and took a short break to open the dusty unused storage areas of my childhood bedroom. i needed to clean up the old junk before moving in the new junk. i had to give one thing to my mother; she did an excellent job of preserving this place. if ever i managed to do something worthwhile with my life she could start charging fucking entry for this museum of fiadh kavanagh.

shaking my head i started pulling out old clothes and creating a pile on the floor. if she believed i still fit into these jeans i should be worried about early onset neurodegenerative diseases.

i was done with the columns and moving on to the hangers by the time she stuck her head in and quirked her dark eyebrows at me. “need any help?”

“mom, why the fuck did you keep all this?” i asked, showcasing fist-full of short gothic dresses. “aren’t you worried about clothes moths?”

ignoring my point she sat down on the bed, smiling. “oh, i though you might still like to keep some of it. it’s not like we need extra storage.”

“mom, look at me!” i threw another armful onto the pile, lifting my arms to indicate my age ravaged body. “how could i possibly fit into size four?! some of these are from the children’s section!”

“you look like a string, you could easily fit. it’s the cigarettes. they are not good for ya.”

i rolled my eyes. “i’m not even fucki…”

the feel of a familiar soft fabric beneath my fingertips made me stop midsentence. i pulled it out into the light with shaking fingers, heart racing against my ribcage. it looked huge in my palms. the faded graphics were barely visible in the shadowy light of my room. if you tried hard enough you could just barely make out the name of the band. distantly i heard my mom echo my name but i was stuck in the past, standing in the cold autumn rain by the open driver’s side window of your car.

“ooooh, i remember this one,” my mother said with a nostalgic smile.

i made a small sound at the back of my throat.

“it’s the donovan boy’s, isn’t it? i remember teasing him about it. i told him: young man, this is not a free laundry i run here! you know what he said to me?”

i nodded, whispering, “it’s not my fault yer daughter is a stinkin’ thief.”

she laughed. “little bastard. he was the worst influence on you. funny how he turned out. would never expect a son of deirdre donovan to make something of himself. i guess we owe it all to the wife. she…”

my body snapped back to action. i was moving away before she could say her name. putting the sweater on the bed next to her, i brushed my hands against my sweatpants and mumbled: “right, look we need to get rid of all this before i can unpack. do you know someone with skinny teenage children? ideally with a questionable fashion sense?”

“we can drive to the clothes recycling point.”

“grand! let’s do that after work.” i told her, kicking my way through the discarted clothes toward the closet and dumping whatever was left on top of the rest. “i need to get back to work now. i have a meeting in 20.”

“oh, ok. sorry.” she chuckled, standing up. “i will bring some bags to put all of this in.” she reached for the sweater on her way out and i jumped in to block her path on impulse.

“uh… where are you taking that?”

she blinked up at me, brown eyes surprised. “downstairs. i figured i could return it to the rightful owner rather than donate it to charity. although,” she giggled, pulling it apart for scale, “i doubt it will still fit him.”

she was gone before i could open my mouth, taking the sweater with her. my clenched fists unclenched with effort as i pushed the door closed and leaned my back against it. i was breathing too hard. the way you handed me that sweater through the driver’s side window on that rainy, a blast from the past; a ghostly memory. just enough to make me shudder.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Fig Faeth Junior Year Playlist: Side A

It's no surprise that Fig Faeth's playlist is the one that I actually listen to the most. It's just a very good vibe and I love her. Took extra time to Song descriptions and thoughts down below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10.

Genres included: Pop-punk, Punk, Alternative

1. hair out, Stand Atlantic

Am I fuckin' up my life? I'm just tryna make improvements Slowly givin' up the fight But I gotta cover up the bruise That I get from all the Expectations give me vertigo Wasting away to the pressure The pressure, The pressure, oh

This song is such an earworm, scratching a specific itch in my brain. Love the fact that both Kristen and Fig (the failing girlies) start with a Stand Atlantic song, and it works with the way that Fig is coming at this season. From the jump, she is one of the most visibly and audibly burnt out, specifically from the pressure of the "sophomore album" that was supposed to come out months ago. This song is definitely about the pressures of a songwriter as well as the pressures of life in general so it fits sooooo perfectly. Especially with the "I can already here people hating the song" outro *chefs kiss*

2. Who The Hell Am I?, NOBRO

God, I'm tired of being like this I can change, but in a minute Always looking for the back door, on the run Always at the party, never quite having fun Play with fire, and you're gonna get burned I'm on fire, and you know it hurts I was always on the outside looking in Maybe it's me 'cause I never wanna fit in

Fig's class struggles, her conversation with Mazey, I can't take it. I feel like we've all been there. I really love how the narrative with her has progressed, like last season was deconstructing her need to mold herself into other people (or into an idealized version of herself) now she's trying to figure out who she is at her core without all the disguises.

3. 7 Years Bad Luck, Glasseater

Something strange seems to be plaguing me Everything I touch falls apart I've lost it all, losing all my luck Suffering 7 years bad luck

I don't particularly love this song, a little too unintentionally underproduced, but it deserves a spot on this playlist. I feel like I would be Fig in the curse situation. It took me a literal year to deal with debilitating stomach problems, and I, too, waited until my friends noticed to actually do something about it. Either way, can't wait to learn more about the weird Galier Pride curse, love the representation for my stomach problem girlies

4. Where the Heart Is, Sweet Pill

Get this My mind's been in a million places but my body hasn't moved an inch And I feel like I'm missing out again Ignoring my plans Wondering how they went Feeling bad about it If I could just take a chance I wouldn't feel so bad To see past myself I wouldn't feel so bad

This is Fig's final decision to try Paladin after doing so well with Warlock. She knows the priorities in her gut don't match with what anyone else says, but she's discovering her loyalty. She's figuring out her actual drive... following her heart <3

5. Impostor Syndrome, Sidney Gish

Unfortunately, I am My own dog, my own fur companion My own old lady on a forum Who types in glittery decorum Unfortunately, I take Myself out walking every day and I had my legs to the feet and I give my head to the leash

Making Fantasy High playlists is like making a ven diagram of which dog-themed songs are Tracker-coded and which are Fig-coded. This one, to me at least, is Fig-coded. (yes, I do have a tracker playlist, and yes, every song in it is dog/wolf specific, BUT THEY'RE GOOD OK). We love our Oath/Pact of the German Shepard.

6. You Owe Me Nothing In Return, Alanis Morissette

I'll give you countless amounts of outright Acceptance if you want it I will give you encouragement to chose The path you want if you need it You can speak of anger and doubts Your fears and freak outs And I'll hold it

So I know that we're gearing up for Fig's Warlock/Paladin agreement post "mooner yulenear," but this is my interpretation of what it's going to look like. She cares about her friends, and she would do anything for them! And though I know this song came out in 2002, Alanis Morissette is a 90's icon and perfect for the grungy riot grrrl vibe I see for her

[someoneinjersey]

So this is the classy conclusion to a child on the internet without reading comprehension or critical thinking skills taking umbrage with my post about Jon Bernthal.

I'd like to be clear once more: the conflict needs to end, Palestine needs to be freed, Israel is committing genocide and should be sanctioned appropriately, and I do not support Israel in any way.

My post was only focused on JB because I was suddenly seeing the intense discourse about him on my dash -- and ONLY about him. So I made a post expressing my opinions on him, on the situation, and on other things, and a few people found it and got angry.

I get angry and combative online a lot. It's a personal flaw. My problem is that those coming into the replies or my ask box or making posts about me very obviously didn't get the point I was trying to make. Maybe that was my fault, maybe I wasn't clear enough the first time, hence this post.

I do not support Israel or their genocide of the Palestinian people. I am for a free Palestine.

I also recognize that because of how Jewish people outside of Israel are raised (specifically in the US, as that is where I live and where the Jewish people I know live), they are in a difficult position regarding their stance on supporting the country of Israel versus recognizing that their beloved "homeland" is committing genocide and war atrocities.

The childish keyboard warriors completely missed where I spoke about one of my best friends growing up being Jewish and how I knew how she was raised and what she did for a living, etc. Her family is the type that reveres Israel, because that's what they're taught to do. Her parents met at a kibbutz. My friend and her sister were so abused for being Jewish that the family moved across town so they could change schools and get away from the antisemitism. That's how we met -- she transferred to my school. And she still was abused. But she was kind and thoughtful, always. She and her sister were always raising money for charity and her family was always pushing for better representation. But again, yes, the country of Israel was a huge and positive part of their lives. Because that's what they were taught and that's what they personally experienced.

Nobody is immune to propaganda.

I didn't mention that I have Jewish family I've celebrated with, or that I grew up next to a town with an enormous Jewish community (it has the largest yeshiva in the world, outside of Israel). I didn't mention these things because no one's entitled to a book report of my life. But I'm sharing it now because I still want to stress that as a non-Jewish person, I have seen first hand the way Israel is practically worshiped and is made so important to the Jewish population in the US.

Again, nobody is immune to propaganda.

This isn't about "oh is it harder for them than the Palestinians being murdered" because that's a stupid comment to make since the answer is obvious. That isn't what I've been talking about, because, yet again, it is a genocide and it is wrong and it needs to stop.

I guess I'm just sorry that you feel there aren't enough "good Jews" speaking out or protesting for you to be satisfied right now.

I am not sorry that I am pointing out how difficult it must be for Jewish people to have to try reconcile what Israel is doing with what they've been told about their beloved country their whole lives. Yes, I initially said it through the lens of Jon Bernthal because that's all I was seeing, over and over again, on my dash.

People expect everyone to publicly take a hard stance on topics, particularly celebrities. Nobody owes you anything, and you'd do well to remember that.

You'd also do well to remember that to have true compassion for human beings, you need to consider everyone. (And no, I don't mean murderers or pedophiles or whatever else you want to assume I mean by saying "everyone" needs consideration so don't even try to come at me with that.)

And in conclusion I'd like to add that you don't have to wish bad things on me like some kind of whiny baby. My life is already 85% bad things, so joke's on you.

[the-sour-patch-crew]

It's always fascinating finding out people have us blocked that we have never interacted with. Overall, I like to think we've never been antagonistic towards anyone in tags. Never attacked anyone. Never harassed. We've been very civil, even in our disagreements (that I recall at least). We have a few side blogs, and not many people have the main account blocked, so I always find out only after I go to make a comment and then see what accounts are greyed out. Silly little bonus feature of side blogs.

So

Is it because we sometimes have syscourse?

Is it because we are endogenic or identity as mixed origin?

Is it because we support all forms of plurality?

It's an amusing game. People may block for so many reasons, but those are the three main things we can think of. It's particularly amusing when people love or agree with things on our side blog but apparently hate this account. Extra funny.

If it's because people think we are toxic or out to get systems and corrupt singlets and poison traumagenic systems, then I feel quite awful for someone living in such a fearful and distorted outlook on life and others. Well, if that was the case, then why is our popular side blog not blocked? That blog is all of those things and very loud about it. But also, my partner is a DID system. I am very, very aware that multiplicity is not a silly little game. To say I spread misinformation and am bad for CDD systems blows my mind when I spend every day supporting one. What happens on Tumblr is pointless at the end of the day because what *really* matters is the support and understanding I give to them. We are a living example of how STUPID syscourse is between endogenic and traumagenic systems. Get the fuck off of social media and actually spend time supporting eachother instead of fighting.

Oh! Mayhaps it's our age. It's always interesting when it's our age. I promise we are not creeps and are quite safe to be around. Siblings, work, friends, and online communities have made me very aware of what is appropriate and how to coexist amongst a wide age range of people. I wanted to be a teacher once, and still would love to be an elementary art teacher. I promise I don't bite.

Maybe it's our fictives. I know some people cannot stand their sources or them as individuals. Which again is quite sad. Ashe and Alastor are both amazing people. I dont think I've met a single person who didn't like Ashe once they got talking with her (minus like two assholes that were ultimately voted as assholes by the entire server lol). I point her out because she's been here the longest and I owe her a lot so yeah I kinda play favorites a bit. Because I honestly love her. I say this with all the love for Al and the newest member. They aren't hurt by me saying that. They get it. Honestly, I don't think Al cares enough to be offended.

Maybe it's because I'm a furry. People always hate on furries. But that's okay. People hate on anyone who is different from them. Its why the furry, queer, and alterhuman community are so tight-knit. I'm just a silly fox in the end.

Is it because I'm critical of behavior and use of terms by people who kff or are transid? Is it because I'm thiiiiis close to being that "awful" trans guy that would still classify himself as a lesbian if only I could stop shifting gender representation every few years?

Is it because I'm working through trauma and people think that suddenly makes me being endogenic a lie? Is that the proof that people need to hate me? You hate systems with trauma and you hate systems without it. There's no winning.

Is it because I promote daemonism? *GASPS*

I'm not mad at being blocked. The internet hates and blocks people for so many reasons. I block a specific group of people every time we see them in the tags. I do it because I TRY to live by the motto if I have nothing nice to say I shouldn't say it at all. I also apply this to thoughts. If I see posts that constantly make me think shitty things about people and they aren't actively harming me or the people I care for, I block them. Because placing that into the universe is kinda fucked, even if they never would know about it.

I don't NEED people to like me. But I'll admit it's been a HUGE hurdle in my life. Trying to not care about what others think about me has always been a major issue growing up. I think everyone and anyone can relate to that. There's a saying I try and keep to and its how I'm going to end this post. [GRANTED this post has been an intoxicated, headache fueled rant at 2 in the morning. We all know how things get around 2 and 3. That's when shit gets fun (no it really doesn't I just want to sleep please) ]

[is-therefreefood]

Princess diaries is such a top 10 Disney movie. Ofc I’m going to rewatch it in my SF hotel room with a glass of free wine

The CITY. The cinematography. The SOUNDTRACK. The shipping. Ugh.

I wonder where their high school is within the city. I should Visit.

SANDRA OH MY QUEEN. Unsure why she��s miss Gupta tho. She gives off the same energy as my bosses boss

“….Lily’s friend” has me dying.

THE bubblegum kiss omg. First sip of wine.

Ugh should I re-read the books again (yes, probably)

I heard this quote that the better teenagers are written the more insufferable adults Find them and yikes.

As a child I thought he liked the sound of “affirmative.” (I didn’t know what it meant). 6 sips.

She’s so cool as a rock climbing girlie. Fomo fr.

You mean her Algebra teacher

Helen what a queen. 3 sips. (For book differences)

MICHAEL. Kinggggggg.

I thought soynut was some kind of keychain she had. Also, remember when keychains were big? 4 sips.

Dude charlotte is such a girl boss fr. Also, drinking game for everytime they say Genovia? jk

Yo this version of Mia has to be on the spectrum no (no h8)

The fact this unlocks her diary (SPOILERS) made me sad bc once the book fills up she can’t use it. 10 sips

See the fact she did camp fire girls makes her a badass. She also seems like a girls girl.

Princess major 101 - but also, I need this. 6 sips.

I love the Joe plot twist

her ROOM bro. This is my all time favorite fictional bedroom

8 drinks. Remember when the neighbor was trans in the book? Representation!

11. I JUST GOT THE HERSE JOKE. OMG

8 lily is a terrible friend. TWO MONTHS? I thought it was a year !

These hills are indeed no joke

What is michels m&m obsession….

Bro why is this soundtrack NOT ON SPOTIFY

SoMa mentioned! 8.

rip Aaron Carter. Oof. 9.

He teaches history and debate?

I know that the 2000s were a long time ago ago, but are we seriously going to ignore that she got sexually harassed on camera and on top of that adults were taking photos of her — a 15-year-old — in a towel?? Like, it was still illegal

Then again insinuating, she was in a sex scandal, which I didn’t get until just now, was very 2000s media and we owe celebrities of that time an apology

I just realized lily and charlotte have a part of the school named after them. Also, BSB!!

...I kind of stopped live blogging after this but been inspired to re-read the series (again) for the first time in three years. I also went to real life Baker Beach <3 and their school HAS to be Lombard St...right?

[battyblog]

Gaylor and online queer spaces

This blog post is inspired by the (kind of) recent New York Times article speculating about Taylor Swift’s sexuality and the so-called ‘Gaylor’ conspiracy. Ethically it is undeniable that this, very public, speculation on a person's sexuality is invasive and dehumanising. Yet, as a society we are obsessed with 'uncovering’ celebrities' sexualities – look at the recent events and outing of Billie Eilish. Queer or presumed so, celebrities who do not choose to come out are subject to gross examination and pressure to divulge such a personal aspect of life as their sexual preference. It is a culmination of para-social relationships, celebrity culture and the taboo secrecy that still surrounds sexuality.  

Taylor Swift is the undisputed queen of para-social relationships. Her personal lyrics in songs have created a fanbase that feels entitled to know her deepest feelings and desires. Other than the obvious lack of boundaries here, another issue I have with the ‘Gaylor’ theorising is how it reduces queerness to stereotypes. Taylor refusing to speak on the subject has led her rabid fans to analyse everything she does and create their own queer narrative. This does reflect the queer experience of meeting someone you’re attracted to and trying to figure out if they're interested, or vice versa trying to outwardly express your sexuality. But it's not like TS is walking around with the tiger rainbow tote bag, she just follows trends, it’s not her fault that lesbians have the coolest style.  

How is this not homophobic? This theorising reduces sapphic sexuality to fashion choices.  

Another celebrity that is surrounded with online speculation over their sexuality is Harry Styles, discussing him and Taylor feels like I’m really poking the hornets' nest. But he is another artist that capitalises on the excitement surrounding sexuality rumours. Again, no one should ever come out if they don’t want to, but it brings into question, if these celebrities really were so unwilling to be seen publicly as gay, why are they still willing to capitalise on the speculation? Either or, baby! Profiting off this cloud of speculation is greedy, this breathes life into these conspiracies, how could a celebrity morally do this? Your fave pop princess would never lead fans on just so they can make money. These celebrities can wave rainbow flags all they want at their concerts, but they are taking spaces that could be given to out and proud LGBT artists that will then uplift others and provide vital representation for queer folk. 

One thing that the online ‘Gaylor’ conspiracy does highlight is the demand for queer online spaces. This conspiracy does create online discourse surrounding sexuality and allows those within it to discuss aspects of queerness without self-reflection. Is it a leap to say that some of the people analysing Taylor swifts ‘hidden messages’ may be projecting their own oppressed queerness? This blatant online discussion of sexuality reminds me of shipping culture and the well-known practice of taking two (often non overtly queer) characters and creating conspiracies of a queer relationship. Think Johnlock, Darry or my personal teenage ship Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Shipping culture can extend to real people, but that's a whole post in itself. For myself as a teen figuring out my own sexuality, seeing the breadcrumb sapphic relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy was fascinating, it allowed me to talk about queerness whilst I was still coming to terms with how I felt. Gaylor and this speculation creates the same environment for Taylor Swift fans, folks who, due to their own views on sexuality, may be apprehensive to enter pre-established online queer spaces. I hope that it provides that for some, and isn’t just a vulgar dehumanisation of a pop icon 

I know Taylor will not read this post, but if she was to I would give her some advice. Firstly, she owes no one the truth about her sexuality, and, although it is profitable, needs to work on breaking that parasocial relationship her fans have with her. For everyone's sakes. It is not healthy for people to centre their online personalities on whether or not someone is gay, you don't have to come out to call it out. It’s clear her fans hunger for a female queer icon, and if she is unable to fill that role then she should be uplifting other queer artists, put them as supports in her tour, I’m sure a single tweet would create a storm. She could keep her ‘gaylor’ fans satisfied and actually do some good for the LGBT community. You don’t have to be out and proud to support LGBT rights and who has a bigger platform than her to speak out about issues facing the community. 

But this issue is not just due to a handful of pop singers, as a wider society we need to become more aware how we discuss sexuality. How celebrities are treated can be a public example of societal attitudes towards ‘regular’ people. These fans need to be educated that, celebrity or not, it's not okay to speculate and almost fetishize someone's sexuality. If you think they're LGBT and they haven't told you, maybe you should self-reflect and think about why that is.  

GAY RIGHTS!

[colourfulgreyscales]

Okay, here I am with one of my honest reflections. I have seen entries of people saying they are not interested in the private life of a celebrity they follow or in gossip. I want to put my $0.02 I am not against the gossip in an on itself. Heck, I engage in it from time to time myself, even if I rather not do it with my own blog. My problem is with things surrounding this gossip such as stalking, constantly forcing a celeb suspected not straight to label their sexuality like they owe us that, the yelling and judging and gatekeeping if you don't believe a certain brand of gossip (even if only because you need more convincing evidence). And of course, there are those who would say "you just don't want to know XYZ's private life, because you are a homophobe who doesn't want to know they are queer." (Even if I am queer myself and all for representation). Let me challenge that. First off, there are some straight people who are also so private about their personal life we only get glimpses of it. Freddie Highmore comes to mind. He was not yelling of the rooftops about his wife when he was dating her, and there was enough evidence that she was his girlfriend until they got married. And we only know they got married because he revealed it on Jimmy Kimmel. Secondly, My decision not to engage obsessively in the private lives of my favourites came from straight favourites. Possible additional layer of homophobia for some fans aside, my straight favourites got flack for dating/getting married "to the wrong woman," and the fandom has been reduced and in some cases they have been dragged ever since. Thirdly... "If you don't think XYZ is gay you are homophobic. Possible bisexuality (an orientation that includes homosexual attractions ) is also homophobic. <i>I am bisexual and I approve of this message/you are a bad.not a real queer TM.<i> (Emphasis, mine) Again, no! I understand Hollywood and Bollywood can still be a homophobic/queerphobic place and many a leading men could lose opportunities and a career they have worked so hard for because of that. Even if a male actor comes out as bisexual, that gets erased and they get treated as gay. For a female celeb, it's about the male gaze and they get accepted as bi or pan, but it is because of fetishization. There are other instances. It's just like sexuality feels the most prominent, with all the talk about queerbaiting accusations (EG Kit Connor), all the deep fakes, all the stalking, all of the lengths people go because they want the representation of their favourite right now, instead of realizing that they are human, and you need to let them live their lives and let them come out/label their sexuality if and when they are ready to do so, not on your timing Again, these are my reasons to keep a gossip-free environment in my blog and why I feel selective in the fandoms for blogs or people I interact with.

[nabanna]

session cinco (five)

more unfortuante news gamers I Am Once Again Caffeinated !!! And It’s The Blood Moon !!! There Are Some Vibe

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X has new math rocks!!! we have had a majority vote to peer pressure the DM into giving her Inspiration :D

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Ghost: [starts pushing over flower vase] Dread: NO THE FLOWERS Frida: Is that any way to behave around a guest? These flowers are for you, too!

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Visiting Neighbor: ...and there’s a bookshop there– Jerry: BOOKSHOP OWO ??????? (wizard moment) Josie: [eyes emoji] (wizard moment)

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Smiles: hey if you need anything I can run and get you things Neighbor: oh I couldn’t impose Smiles: no no I insist Frida: you really can’t stop Smiles from being....... friendly :)

Smiles: HEYYYYYY I wasn’t outright flirting... YET...... Frida: :)))))))))))

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Jerry: Hey ghost! knock over my hat if you’re a guy! DM: Jerry would you like to make a dexterity save? K: K: I’m! not sure I want to! (me): You can probably choose to fail! :) DM: You can choose to fail! :) K: I GUESS I FAIL???? Ghost: [throws a tankard at Jerry’s forehead]

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Eilistraeeans: [general lack of clothing for religious reasons] Smiles: [AAAAAAAAAA] [is normal]

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CAT

BEE HAS FOUND A CAT IN REAL LIFE

WE HAVE HEARD THE CAT

SHE HAS REMOVED THE CAT FROM THE STREET THE CAT IS SAFE

CAT

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Mars Artistic Representation of the ladies entering the Dancing Haven

DM’s transformative work:

Bee/Smiles: (you’d think I’m a catholic with how repressed I am)

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Smiles: [seeming to get flustered around a man? oh?]

oh?

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DM: Jesus Christ doesn’t go here. Only Eilistraee K: Jesus Christ is a type of lesbian the gang: y’know what yeah I’ll incorporate that into my belief system

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Jerry: Hey Clover? I’m not sure how to ask this but? Clover: Yeah? Jerry: How do you feel about... regular cats? Clover: Clover: I try not to think about it too much Jerry: That’s fair [knocks on the door]

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During the party split I may have gone upstairs and chased my brother around the house for about 10 minutes before finally bugging him into picking me up and then biting him (only once this time!) (last time I had coffee I bit him TEN times) (affectionately)

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NPC: if you could help me get my hands on some high quality specialty wood- (me): [very badly concealed giggling] DM: [knows what I am] ..........Okay Lianne, why are you giggling? Something to share with the class young lady? (me): he w wants s why he want h hey why’s a man want som some hey h hhey sir why do you as a man want to get your hand on High Quality Hard Wood Huh–

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Homo-Erotic Sparring at the Dancing Haven Temple Of Eilistraee

Mars Moment

extreme wlw moment

(guys I think I figuresd out where the caffeine went)

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Seance Time! Smiles: (is it just me or is it gusty in here–) everybody: (SHHHHHH)

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NOOO THE SEANCE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE HAPPY YOUNG COUPLE NOOOO

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(brought to you by last campaign’s Slap Her Bald Head Sunday final meme compilations)

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we gave the ghost quills and paper

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TAVERN NAME ACQUIRED

TIPSY PIXIE

(might change if someone advises us against it for potential fey racism? unless pixies are generally chill with that sort of thing we don’t know)

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Jerry Inventor Of Magical Picture Taking (He Has Take Magic Photo As A Cantrip)

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TODAY’S SESSION SPONSORED BY MISS EMILY FANTASYNAMEGENERATORS OF https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU EMILY WE OWE YOU OUR LIVES EMILY

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Trollskull Manor Tipsy Pixie Tavern Family Portrait

So my good friend @thebestbeearts just finished running our group through Descent into Avernus, and for the whole time there was this post that she did that we kept reblogging every week when we had a session.

Now, I'll be the one running our group through Waterdeep Dragon heist, and she has asked me to continue the tradition...with my own post:

LIKE TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

REBLOG TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

(don't touch the goldfish)

[darkdisrepair]

c3e36 - vox machina and the lady of whitestone

in this week's meta, we break down the appearances of FOUR (four!!!) members of vox machina in campaign 3, five if you count trinket, and what makes them all so different, and how this episode was, in a great, beautiful way, a love letter to vex'ahlia.

now, originally, i think we all probably thought that keyleth would be at the center of all of this, as she naturally has the best connection with bell's hells and orym. i anticipated her being a strong advocate for laudna because of her perspective and relationship with orym- and didn't really see her pushing the "we owe her because of the sun tree" angle as hard as other vm characters would have.

but also, it makes so much sense for matt to call keyleth away. this stops her from becoming too much of bell's hells' advocate and benefactor than she already is, as orym's leader.

not to mention the fact that whitestone is, ultimately, vex's and percy's and pike's, and playing keyleth in a space that really isn't hers and not her authority is an awkward power balance for sure. and it's hard enough playing multiple de rolos and pike in the same episode.

though i did love the beautiful nods to her, that we did get- her cloak trailing beauty everywhere she walked was such a great touch. and her rambling awkwardness while spouting all of the things she was dealing with? perfection.

that being said: 1. i think keyleth the most difficult impersonation. 2. our lady pike trickfoot is just such a light every time she appears. plus, it was nice to see her again, and see how comfortable matt was playing her.

i think pike was a necessary appearance. you need a little bit of a brighter character (in the happiness sense) to balance out just how Edgy both of the de Rolo parents can be, and without keyleth, pike is the perfect balance to them.

that being said.

at the end of all this, the most beautiful part of the storytelling in this episode was vex.

was it also amazing to see percy? yes, but, to quote my friend, "i forgot vox machina are condescending assholes," and percy is no different [lovingly].

his reactions, while completely justified given his history and the future he's built for himself and his people, was also just that.

but vex?

this was so much a love letter to her, and her journey with grief, and her journey with everything that happened in campaign 1.

laudna died for her. she died and was mutilated to look like her. and watching bell's hells grieve for this woman, and despite the danger doing everything in her power to help them? going against percy, spending thousands of gold and diamonds?

how could she not.

in the end, it was never a debate, was it? what vex's perspective would be?

if she could spend all the money in the world to get her brother back, don't you think she would? don't you think that she sees herself in bell's hells, in the grief written all over their faces?

fix him, she can remember grog shouting. and sobbing over her husband's body. and waking up cold and shivering on the floor of the raven queen's temple.

and after all that, how could she say no?

and what makes her different form percy? there's the obvious, that laudna was her representation on the sun tree. but at the core- her heart is so good.

all her money tendencies was because she worried that she couldn't care for everyone in her life. all of her standoffishness was because she couldn't bear feeling like she was losing her brother to keyleth.

and she has lost so much. she lost the person who was her world (percy has lost people, too, but there's something still so visceral about her loss that still sticks with me even now).

she is so perceptive.

how could she not see the desperation on their faces? the heavy burden on imogen's shoulders?

the feathers in her hair are black.

not teal.

and i think that was all the clues that we needed to know that vex would never let whitestone abandon laudna.

[frenchfriesoverguys]

fate: a winx saga

season two

*queer woman with a degree in film/art history*

First, let’s talk about the biggest backlash (about the plot/casting) this show had for season one. Musa’s casting was a huge slap in the face to the fans and to asian representation. I will say that the actress who was cast does play her very well but it’s just not the same Musa. Literally. This Musa is a Mind Fairy instead of a Music Fairy. She doesn’t like her powers and doesn’t even want to be a fairy. That is so different than her character in the cartoon. But that doesn’t excuse the erasure of a POC character. At least the plot is embracing the fact that it’s not the same character. Terra’s casting/Terra’s character: her behavior finally has an explanation. In my first post I explained this in more detail, Terra’s character goes through fatphobia but the show is explaining why it’s bad. This season we get more of an idea of her emotions around the situation with Riven. I need them to actually sit down and talk it out bc Terra doesn’t owe Riven an explanation but Riven owes her one. This season proved that he isn’t as big of a prick as he seems so what was up with his attitude?? Back to Terra, I know so many lesbians who chased mean or unavailable men bc they were repressing their gayness. I am, personally, pleased with her development - including finding her voice. 

Second, Bloom. I enjoyed her development this season, including the fact that she lost control again. The way Rosalind was training her 110% played a part in it. She can’t focus on negative emotions to control her powers like Rosalind wants. Dowling said that she can transform because her focuses on ALL her emotions. I think that’s the key to her control as well. It definitely played into her darker side coming out through the new headmaster. Sky had a similar development. We see his dark side, or simply anger, for the first time. Bloom is his calm and vise versa. I almost never actually enjoy the obvious romantic pairings but I love them together. They work well with little to no toxicity. Bloom doesn’t keep things from him (unless she is keeping it from everybody).

AND NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF

Aesthetic. They struggled horribly with outfits, character designs, and the transformations. While I wish they would improve Aisha and Terra’s outfits, it’s well within their character to dress for comfort. Like they would never wear Flora’s outfits or Bloom’s. Musa’s outfits are so much better. They focus on comfort, as she is hurt/training more, but they emphasis her abs and muscles. I don’t know how else to explain this: Aisha dresses like a swimmer and Musa dressed like a weightlifter/crossfitter. Bloom’s clothing emphasised her red hair, love the jacket and boot combination they put her in. Flora’s style is textbook y2k. If you wanted that style in the show, here it is. And Stella’s haircut with her curls is amazing. Loved her progression from crocs back to her dresses. The transformations this season were greatly improved upon. More drama, the soundtrack was reminiscent of the cartoon, and everything felt just more powerful. I got goosebumps. 

I’ve seen backlash about them not changing outfits like the cartoon. I read a youtube comment that said it best: animation is animation. CGI is not the same thing and cannot do the same things that animation can. Live-action will always be different. It’s why a lot of people don’t love live-action versions of animation. Think of it like this: animation is like a painting while live action is like a photograph. They can show the same thing but it’s never the exact same. If they ever get close, it’s because the painting can be more life-like but the photograph cannot replicate the painting. The outfit changes during the transformation will never give the same effect as it did in the cartoon. No amount of money or budgeting for CGI is gonna change that fact. So to put it simply, stop whining about it. The show has a lot of faults but this is not a fixable one. 

Lastly, what I would want to see/what I’ve seen others asking for. Please introduce Brandon in season three, I love Stella’s character arch this season but I need her to have some happiness. Rivusa/more character development for Riven. I want to know more about Aisha’s past as well as Flora’s. More girl bonding as well as more male friendship. And Terra’s new love life explored. Maybe some actual Asian representation? There are a lot of characters from the cartoon that they haven’t utilized and they whitewashed the one Asian character they had so. Introduce. a Permanent. Asian. Character.

[tth-pdf]

Burning for love; JJK [03]

Contents: Smut, little bit of dirty talk, supernatural themes, romance, fluff, unedited.

Pairing: Werewolf!alpha!jungkook x omega!reader

Summary: A handsome man is hunting you in the dreams world, making every day more difficult to repress the need to come find him in the middle of the night to submit yourself to his every wish.

Requests: ON

A/N: Hello angels, sorry for the LONG wait, was so busy with school and depressing myself, but here it is, I tried to do my best and please also remember that English is not my first language be kind (😩), sorry for any grammar mistake, enjoy it and take care besties! 💖

Jungkook was insatiable, he just couldn’t seem to get enough of you, he has already fuck you senseless on the kitchen counter, the sofa, the living room floor, the restroom sink, simply everywhere, but he seem to want more and more and more, he wanted so much that you could hardly believe it.

Right now you were waking up, feeling incredibly good, feeling like everything was fine, but those emotions were gone as soon as common sense started to come back to you. Yesterday, Jungkook’s hands everywhere, that incredible first orgasm, but the one who made it happen… His scent, his bright eyes, strong arms making you feel like you can do it all, but above all the interest he had in you, what makes you feel on cloud nine it’s the way he seemed to be mesmerized by your expressions and sounds, knowing right where to touch without a doubt. Almost every space in your skin was painted by the ferocity with which he seems to love you, that marks on your skin being the carnal representation of your wonderful night but insecurities started to rise right at this moment, your mother will be mad, she will yell at you that in the pack were more suitable omegas for alpha Jungkook, the nasty glances and the possibility that some of the females in the pack may try to take what is yours, damn, the mere thought of it makes your eyes turn bright red provoked by the sudden rage coursing through your body. Immediately sensing the unpleasant feelings in you Jungkook comes out of the bathroom, wet hair and drops of water running down his body, making your mouth water, so just like magic your body and inner wolf instruct you to crawl to the end of the bed and touch him, to offer yourself to him, second thoughts completely forgotten by now so you follow your instincts and touch and admire from his hard abdomen to caressing his broad shoulders and just show him that look in your eyes, the one he knows like the back of his hand consequence of all the hours spent admiring and getting to know your body.

“Little girl woke up hungry?”

A hand of his goes to your waist and the other caress your cheek and just like fire can light up the darkest place your senses explode inside of you and once again everything feels a hundred times more, all the textures around you, you can hear the sounds of children and women playing in the distance, even the steps of the smallest animal but his deep chuckle brings you to him again and you feel like melting. Even kneeling at the edge of the bed he is much taller than you, (like a shelter for the most difficult moments in life), warm and golden skin beneath your fingertips and the delicious beating of his heart calming all your nerves and insecurities.

You look right back at him with the same intensity, different shades of golden dancing in your eyes while his are different shades of deep purple, the connection between both of you more palpable than never, trying not to break the eye contact you turn your face to his nearest scent gland, which means is his wrist, basking yourself in his delicious aroma.

“I see what you are at puppy, but I’m afraid that I can only deal with you once before I leave”

His last words hit you hard making you feel like drowning and desperate from one moment to another.

“Are you leaving?, I thought that this days… Were for us”

He can see your teary eyes making him wish he had never said that, breaking his heart a little.

“Don’t be like that baby, I will make sure to end that meeting as soon as I can to come back to your arms but you will have to be a good girl and wait here”

You know he is in a hurry but you can not help but want submit to his wonderful hands and simply seduce him to have him eating out of the palm of your hand, have him only for yourself and memorize all his features.

“You promised it, you said you were going to make me a priority always, you lied to me”

You weren’t usually like this, but when he is around your common sense flies out of the window, so while you're throwing a tantrum and moving uncontrollably under his body he grows impatient and his alpha instincts kick in, putting with undeniably force both your wrists above your head and growls, the signal he’s giving you to submit, the air in the bedroom changing its way.

“Pretty girls know how to wait and to obey their alphas, I already told you I was sorry puppy and remember that I don’t fucking owe apologies to anyone, if I knew this wasn’t important I would have told them to fuck up, you should know your place baby, but good news for you, I’m feeling like even though you have been a little bit of a bad girl you deserve to remember me all over this pretty skin while I’m gone, isn’t that what my puppy wanted, huh?”

He manhandles you until you’re comfortably seated en his strong tights, holding his gaze you can see all the things he wants you to know, all that shit that cannot be said, all the things that are not expressed in a good way by putting them into words, so instead you will use your bond and body.

“Sit on my dick slow baby, make it hurt so you have something to remember, get yourself full of my pups”

And you do as you are told, you slip right where you belong to, starting to bounce yourself slow and hard but even though it feels like heaven you feel like you’re going to die because he doesn’t touch you, he is just watching.

“Touch me please or I’m going to hit you hard”

He laughs but you know he's holding back the urge to order you around.

“I love when my little girl turns all bossy”

You wiggle your hips not exactly knowing where to look but what makes you let out a loud moan of his name is the way he thrusts his incredible hips harder than you had planned, tip of his touching the spongy spot that makes you meet god in person.

“If I’m not gonna have you for a while at least show me that fierce side of you one more time baby, gods above, look at you, bouncing tits and pretty face with an even prettier voice filling my ears of pretty sounds, fuck puppy, turn around and see yourself on the mirror”

You tell him to wait a second because you want to remember him like this, beneath your body and that playful smirk but when you do turn a little your face to see the image that bites back at you is incredible, you even smile don’t exactly recognizing you but looking damn hot on top of your man. You can’t with the feelings so the first thing that comes to your mind is to grab a hold of some of his beautiful locks of hair and tug hard, enough for him to gain some more lustful rage and suddenly slam you in the mirror that both of you were looking a moment ago with such excitement, what brings you back to reality of the pleasure that does nothing but increase is the manly hand grabbing at your jaw, making it open slightly, enough for him to spit on it. And you fucking love it.

“That’s a good mate baby, swallow it all and show me”

All this time he hasn’t stopped that sinful hips of his so at this time it’s starting to hurt and you begin to loose all your grips but you now that he will catch you anyways.

All you are feeling is incredible, you fell full, satisfied. Your throat feels hoarse but it doesn’t matter as you held gazes once again, but it’s the whole moment, your own bubble. Watching his pretty eyes you realize that you have won in live, entirely.

“You don’t have a fucking idea of how bad I want to mount you everywhere until I know you are really pregnant, hell baby I love you so fucking much”

He is right in front of your face, both of your moths open but your not kissing, now he’s the one grabbing your hair into a fist but he can do whatever he wants with you right now and all you will say is thank you.

You’re both touching the finish lines and it’s then that you wonder if this is how it will always be, hot, sweaty and just incredible.

He kiss you right at the final, where both of you have reached the peak, smiling at each other like fools but entirely living the dream.

[...]

You know that Jungkook told you to not leave the room until he was back but you were really hungry and needing some fresh air, so knowing that maybe everyone was serving him in that meeting you dared to head for the nearest kitchen to just grab something and come back. You are happy when no one approach you on the way, focusing on the task to make you a quick drink and cut up some fruit.

You feel happy and complete, at ease with the environment despite missing your alpha a bit, but your clothes and body still smell like him so that’s something for now. That’s the same reason why you don’t hear the pretty and stealthy she-wolf approaching the kitchen, watching you closely.

“It stinks in here, you must have had a very good night young lady”

You jump a little because you are not supposed to see anybody in the sensitive state in which you now find yourself.

“Sorry, I wasn’t supposed to be here”

You murmured your words shyly so low that if it were not for the incredible senses of the lycanthrope body, the girl would have miss it.

She chuckles lightly and by her smell you know that she is a rare breed of a female alpha, but right now every smell its simply too much, almost unpleasant.

“No worries baby, no one else is here but me”

She is a little intimidating to be honest and It’s evident that she knows clearly what to do to get what she wants.

“I should… Probably go”

You try to rush towards the exit in order to feel protected inside the four walls where everything smells like Jungkook but just as you are about to walk through the door the pretty girl grabs you a little hard enough to make you let out a whimper. And it’s that exact moment that lets you know that something is awfully wrong, that you should have never left the room.

“Where are you going?, let me talk to you for a moment, I never had the pleasure of knowing you formally”

You know that she can her your heart beating uncontrollably and smell the fear mixed with nerves.

“Don’t be scared pretty thing just wanted to chat with you”

There’s something strange in her, something that you can’t quite put your finger on.

“This shouldn’t be happening, I’m sorry but I really should get back to-”

While interrupting you she is also forcing you to sit on the small benches that are situated in the kitchen only to bring you to a full state of discomfort and nervousness.

“Is Jungkook really into you honey?”

The sudden questions makes you blink twice and hold a breath, this seems like a pointless conversation, she didn’t even try to do some more small talk .

“Pardon…?”

“Oh my, was I too direct?”

You still don’t see the clarity of the conversation because to your eyes she looks like a lunatic, asking questions about of nowhere.

“Honey, it’s just… Have you never heard what is whispered around the pack, about him and the pretty girl of the Kim pack or even worse… The boy with the deadly beauty from the Park family”

You do have heard the rumors, they were too strong when you were younger and more naive.

“I’m afraid that… I can’t help you with anything, I should really go…”

She puts his body in front of yours so that both of her arms are locked on the wall behind you, blocking any way out.

“Damn, just listen to me for a fucking second, I thought that you knew what was best for you”

You sit still because her harsh words came out more like an alpha command and you just couldn’t fight your true nature.

“Good girl”

You would never imagined that such a mundane phrase would disgust you so much.

“I know you don’t like me wolfie but I have been very well aware of the second thoughts that run at full speed in your little head about the bond that you share with that man”

if you had one wish, you would ask to disappear from this awful situation, if only you had listened to your alpha…

“I don’t understand what you want from me, please just let me go, I’m not going to tell Jungkook”

The female alpha just laughs a little, like you have said to her the funniest thing ever.

“He and I are at the same rank honey and of course you will not tell him anything, I have something that might interest you.”

Your posture is defensive but when she says that she backs a little and you take the opportunity to relax only little bit, a new look of curiosity in your angelic and innocent features.

“I don’t want to upset you honey but look at yourself for a second and tell me if you see yourself as the perfect representation of a good mate for someone like him”

She can easily see the insecurity cross your features because if anything has been bothering you since you found out about the bond it is that.

“I have the perfect solution to all of your concerns baby, there’s someone far more suited to take your place. Look at your neck, he hasn’t even marked you, but really, don’t worry and don’t overthink it, he will be in good hands. I know someone who can make the arrangements, all safe and of course you will be having a far more suited alpha”

It’s really stupid, but you actually think about it, as if all the previous moments with him didn't matter. At the end of the day all you're looking for is his well-being and happiness, isn't it?

People are going to talk, that's for sure, but you could assure him better commentaries and a better future, even if it's not by your side, but what will happen with the few moments that both of you have shared?

“In case you were wondering… No, you will not remember, everything will be gone as soon as the bond is broken. Just think about it for a second, remember all your insecurities and the bad feelings while being his mate, that must be annoying, let yourself be happy, both of you”

You are deep in your thoughts so you miss the way her canines grow in size and that dangerous gleam in her eyes.

“I… I’ll do it”

Call yourself a fool, but that tempting offer was enough for you to maybe, just maybe get yourself a better life, but above all a better life and opportunities for him… Or at least that was what your insecure brain thought.

Tag list: @min-nicoleee, @in-a-way-that-i-should-not, @imluckybitches, @teresaisla, @anachikartadze, @jeonwiixard, @seagulljjk

Nexts update: ?

All rights reserved.

[rachetmath]

Lancaster vs Rosegarden

Oscar: Jaune!

Jaune: Oh hi Oscar.

Oscar: You think you better than me?!

Jaune: Wait what?

Oscar: You think just because you're tall, muscler, an awsome semblance, and cool armor that'll make Ruby yours. Well too bad buddy, she's mine.

Jaune: I'm sorry, my mind is wondering where are you going with this.

Oscar: Ruby is mine. She will be mind.

Jaune: Okay. But what does this have to with me.

Oscar: I'm not an idiot Jaune. I see everything.

Jaune: What are you-?

Oscar: The train.

Ruby’s scroll.

Argus

Atlas.

I know what you're thinking and trust me she will soon know that chocolate is better than vanilla.

Jaune: Look Oscar-

Oscar: I'm the goat here. I've gone through shit. I do more for this group than anyone.

Jaune: Okay. Noted. Now Oscar just hear me-

Oscar: I'm better than you in every way.

Jaune: Okay but-

Oscar: I'm-

Jaune pimps’ slaps Oscar across his face. The hand was so strong it almost threw Oscar off. However, once Oscar recovered a little, Jaune slaps him again, knocking the drool off him.

Oscar: Ow!

Jaune: You good? A-are you done? Can I finish?

Oscar: Yeah.

Jaune: Thank you. Now let me tell you something um Pyrrha is dead.

Oscar: Okay, so what? What does she... oh.

Jaune: Yeah, she was reckless, she didn't think and she burdens everything on herself. Does Ruby not do that herself?

Oscar: Um..

Jaune: Okay then shut up. If you like Ruby that much then tell her. This has nothing to do with me. We are not even like that. We're just friends.

Oscar: *feels bad*

Jaune: The only girl I seem to have a relationship with is Yang. And it's not even a romantic one, its playful and sisterly. I mean have you seen her with Blake.

Oscar: True. Wait what about Nora?

Jaune: ... ... ...

Oscar: ... ... ...

Jaune: Teammate. A bit of a sister. Nothing less. Nothing more.

Oscar: Wow. That's low.

Jaune: Now, you are better than me but guess what that ain't much. Like what have you done? What sacrifices have you made? What are your reasons?

Oscar: Um I told James the truth about Salem. I saved everyone at Heaven. I helped in the battle with Cordovan. I saved everyone from Salem.

Jaune: Okay. Ironwood shot you. Cordovan was insane and did not deserve to live or have a job after her recklessness. Plus, Ruby stopped her. You were on a plane. And Ozpin helped more than you in Heaven. And if Hazel didn't buy you any time you would have died. In fact, Hazel is the reason you’re alive.

Me: And the reason your journey started.

Oscar: Well I persuaded him to join the good side.

Jaune: Really, how so?

Oscar: By telling him how to use the lamp. Then he freed me and made me do it myself.

Jaune: So, Hazel just let you go because he didn't believe you?

Oscar: Yep.

Jaune: So, if Hazel called Jinn's name and she appeared, what would have happened then? Like would Hazel have freed you then? Or would he had killed you and just let that be the end?

Oscar: ...

Jaune: So Hazel just showed you pity or you guilt tripped him into helping.

Oscar: I helped with James.

Jaune: Who we jumped.

Oscar: The evacuation.

Jaune: The worse plan we ever made.

Oscar: Oh man.

Jaune: Now, I need to say this, STOP being random. Like first you suck for some reason then you start being cool. Like what the hell?! Oscar, I don't know why I should be wasting my time trying to help you, let alone worry about you if you're somehow going to prove how irrelevant that is. Like I could've been helping Mantle instead of helping you. I could've been trying to talk to James instead of helping you. But no, you're my friend so of course I'll help you.

Oscar: But I'm your partner.

Jaune: No. No you are not. I'm the healer. I'm everybody’s partner.

Me: Basically the brother or the father of the group. No, wait a minute, maybe the mother? Still.

Jaune: Now, for your reason. Why are you here? What is your personal goal?

Oscar: To finish this. This fight with Salem needs to stop. I need to stop the cycle of reincarnation.

Me: Bra, that has nothing to do with you reincarnating. Ozma's mission. Remember?

Oscar: Oh.

Jaune: Basically, until the gods show up and we pass, you have no choices here so... you're here because Ozpin and I fucked up. Mostly me.

Oscar: Oh my brothers.

Jaune: Yeah. Now, listen. Ruby has been going through it. Ask her out. Trust me, you'll be making her day. Believe me. Please, enjoy what little life you might have left because in all honesty you barely have one. Considering your just a mini version of everything I was supposed to be.

Oscar: I'm sorry what?

Jaune: Later. *leaves*

Oscar: Um RatchetMath.

Me: What?

Oscar: Do you hate me?

Me: Yes and no.

Oscar: Why?!

Me: Oscar, I’m not going to lie but in all honesty you should not exist.

Oscar: …

Me: Like I’m not going to cap. You’re just Jaune but with everything else.

Oscar: How?

Me: How? Bra, let me tell you something, have you ever notice how you and Jaune are similar? Like coming into a field with no experience whatsoever. You were getting bullied by others. You were in need a pip talk.

Oscar: But I’m black.

Me: Bra, I’m light skin and I don’t even care for you. I’m fine with black representation but I prefer Ilia over you.

Oscar: What why?

Me: Bra Ilia is black. From a poor neighborhood. Her parents worked in low paying jobs. Her parents are dead. She literally went and lived in Atlas, so she has more awareness of what’s going on there. Plus, team RWBY has one faunus and team JNPR doesn’t. Especially if the said faunus is rich and has some nobility.

Oscar: Shit.

Me: And to be honest Jaune looked like Ozpin. He even looked like Ozma. Other than that if Jaune was Ozpin reincarnation then everything would be some levels the same. Hazel hates Ozpin so will Jaune because what Ozpin has done so far. He sees Ozpin’s life and he would have been even more furious cause none the events needed to happen if Ozpin- no Ozma wasn’t trying to get laid like many so-called heroes. He gets out-casted like he was back at Beacon except Pyrrha’s gone. See where I’m going with this?

Oscar: Yeah.

Me: So, in all honesty Oscar you are just black Jaune Arc. You are just a mere shadow of Jaune’s character. Hint to why I like you. And you know what it’s our fault because we didn’t want Jaune to overshadow Ruby. Even though the sad truth is everyone overshadows Ruby. Plus, our writers refuse to give him a purpose or a character.  

[nolabballgirl]

Im a white girl and im just learning here so forgive me if im slow on this. But i don't understand why druck is put on a pedestal with regards to how they've tackled race/developed their characters of color. Druck also tends to dismiss race entirely (Sam, David, Fatou and Abdi) or make the trauma of characher their whole character (Ava and David) or underdevelop characters when they've had space to do more (Amira, Sam & fam). So why is druck deemed better than other remakes in this area?

hi, Anon! thanks for your ask. okay, so for me to answer your questions, you have to accept two premises:

neither skam nor any of its remakes (including druck) are perfect.

when a remake acknowledges audience pain and admits that it has made mistakes, hires writers of color, and then greatly improves upon its mistakes, that has to be commended.

so, let's break down race and representation for the remakes. and as you will see below, the remakes are so egregiously bad when it comes to race and representation, that when you compare druck after jünglinge took over, it's on a separate level altogether and that's why i believe druck is deemed to be better when it comes to race and representation. (also, i'm skipping skam nl and skam austin from this analysis because who knows how those two would have ended up...and begoña owes me a heart to heart after she ruined by beloved skam españa, but let's be real, eskam had a long way to go too.)

druck -

well, from the list in your ask and from the hard work that skamofcolor put in, druck is a remake with one of the most racially diverse main cast members in both the old and new gens as well as the most characters of colors in side characters as well, so that's an improvement compared to the other remakes. but you're right, there were a lot of missed storylines they could have tackled with the old gen.

druck's sana season (amira mahmood) does not put their sana through weeks of torture or ruin the girl squad in the process. (and as a muslim, i will say their handling of islam was the best among the remakes but i digress...) however, amira did not get her full 10 weeks of screen time and the show missed a huge opportunity diving into shared microaggressions and racism that sam, abdi, etc. also faced. and druck was ripped for it! for cutting amira's time and playing it way too safe and not giving sam her fair due, among others.

now, here's where druck does something that no other remake has done and honestly, this is where i think most of the praise stems from. they listened to the criticism! wait, showrunners and writers can do that?! do you mean we are not just yelling into the avoid? not only have the writers said the ways in which they could have improved (even after s6 they discussed audience perceptions and overestimating how ava/mailin would be received, etc.) but they also hired JÜNGLINGE to bring the new gen to life. if you are unfamiliar, this is how they describe themselves:

JÜNGLINGE is a film collective of mid-twenties raised in the hybrid cultures of post-migrant Germany. We believe that young, European film needs to tell queer, diverse and most of all – specific – stories about growing up and living together in our societies.

so looking at that progress over time from druck s1 to druck s6, i can't help but give them them props for such a marked improvement. in fact, i don't think ANY single skam season covers race and ethnicity as well as s5 and s6 did. sure, they were not perfect (see point 1 above), but my god, the strides that these two seasons made. so much so that in s6, we had a non-white interracial couple as main, who were both unapologetic about their ethnicities and upbringing and culture (Gambia and Vietnam). and having fatou/ava's friendship be so prominent, listening to them talk about black hair, and referencing nazis in germany - yes to all of this!

and let's talk about ava! what an amazing character who was allowed to be angry, giggly, happy, sad, and express herself, without falling into tropes like imane from skam france, and so many people can relate to her struggles with white liberal mailin. there was a sensitivity there that's so rare in these remakes. and what druck couldn't do with amira/kiki, they were given room to explore here, and i really do feel that it was an important story to tell, especially in the age of whitesplaining, white feminist tears, and white liberals talking over women of color.

skam france -

eight seasons in and skam france is STILL mistreating its characters of colors and not given them their full due. now with bilal literally taking a back seat to jo (look at the YouTube header for crying out loud!) but ever since yann in s1, skam france has done such a horrible job with its depiction of POC, especially black characters. daphne is one of the most racist vildes and the treatment of imane (even beyond her season) has been vile and unfair.

and you would think that post s6 and after a new showrunner and writing team was hired on, that there would be improvements (similar to what druck did above), but no! look at how both aurélien and judith were treated in s7, and after a strong opening for s8, it looks like bilal is now taking a backseat to jo, and once again, skam france and its new team are prioritizing a white character over a character of color.

and has there been any acknowledgment by the skam france team of the criticism over the years? rather, david has often doubled down in the face of fan critiques - just an unwillingness to listen, and so we are left with this as a result.

skam italia -

say what you want about skam italia but when it comes to race?well, they certainly take the cake for the whitest remake, so much so that swaths of fans will refuse to watch this remake for the "wana" debacle, and rightfully so. (whitewashing of the sana casting) and remember how people tried to defend this casting decision? but don't forget that italy has a higher percentage of muslims living in the country than norway does! give me a break.

and how can i forget how hajar brown was dragged after she, as a woman of color, deemed to shade and criticize casting decisions for this remake?

wtfock -

do i even need to get into wtfock and its representation on race?! i mean s4 and s5 are arguably the two worst seasons of any skam remakes period. and the complete lack of acknowledgment from the showrunners after the torrent of criticism they received. the egregiously racist writing. i am a defense attorney by profession, and even i am struggling. there's seriously no defense for them here...

so given all this above, i hope this explains why i value the steps druck has taken, especially in s5 and s6, to tackle and improve their depiction of race and representation.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Sept. 29, 2020)

@eponymous-rose‘s internet is out tonight, so I’m here late and without coffee! Let’s see how many typos we can fit into an hour and a half episode.

Tonight’s guests: Ashley Williams JOHNSON, oops!! & Liam O’Brien!

We open with Brian in light-up vented sunglasses and Henry at his side, as always. Dani is very excited to be back and has fun-buns in her hair tonight. So cute! Everyone talks about how much they’re Zooming these days for work, and Liam mentions he and Matt & Marisha did a digital cocktail night. He and Dani arrange on camera to have a distanced, masked meetup in the park so Dani can see Liam’s dog again.

No announcements! Tonight, we’re discussin’ episodes 110 and 111.

Starting with the end, Brian jumps right to it by asking how they feel that Molly is alive. Liam 100% thought we’d be back to him, but still wasn’t ready when it happened. Caleb doubted he was alive. Both Liam & Ashley marvel at the numerology that keeps cropping up throughout the show. Brian hates not being able to see it at the same time the show happens live; Ashley was biting her tongue not telling him spoilers. (He doesn’t want to hear spoilers unless Yasha dies so he can be there for Ashley if needed.) Brian says he has a little reality trauma from the night Pike died in the pre-stream game; it was the first time he’d realized how much it affected the players.

Ashley’s realized how much she misses unpacking the game with Brian when they get home. She just has to sit with it until everyone else gets to see it. Brian: “Instead she comes home and I have to fill her in on the Real Housewives of Amarillo, Texas.”

Reunion dinner with Trent! Liam talks about how the way things unfolded with Trent is not at all how he imagined it in his pre-game creation; he’d expected more of a fracas, more of an unexpected clash. “Caleb might have been a different person if he’d run into these people earlier in the story. The M9 changed him before [Trent & co] came back and got to him.” He’d imagined Astrid & Eodwulf to be complicated encounters, but says what Matt’s designed has been even harder than that. A fight on a mountain is one thing, but walking into a room with “what Trent dropped, is impossible to cope with.” It also means that if what Trent said is true, anything Caleb does now is effectively of Trent’s design, even killing him.

He doesn’t think Caleb would have gone anywhere near Trent & co without the M9. “The Mighty Nein--it took a long time--but they cracked Caleb open like a walnut.”

He thinks what Matt has done is much more murky than the simplicity of murder, such as the Briarwood arc. He can’t just exact his revenge now.

Liam says that the tempation to tinker with time is no longer as all-consuming as it was. He might still be tempted if Matt dangles a bunch of carrots in front of him, but he thinks that now it might be better to make sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore for anyone else (!!!). “It’s still a nugget in his brain and it’s still possible he could be tempted by the drug, but what he wanted in the beginning was entirely selfish, but now that the M9 are involved he owes it to them, to the people of the country, even on the Dynasty side--is so complex that if Caleb were to get that carrot and chase it, he would be risking everything.”

Ashley agrees that most of their choices are no longer black and white. Many of the situations feel more like real life. Liam agrees and says he’ll sometimes make decisions that he’s both really happy with and regrets at the same time. They both look forward to what Matt will reveal in Act 3.

Brian feels it’s tough to gauge how deep they are into what Matt’s planned for the campaign. Liam says that thanks to Matt’s skill, he really doesn’t know what Caleb wants right now.

Ashley agrees, and talks about how she created Yasha to have more to overcome than Pike. She loves what Matt’s doing in terms of allowing each of them to overcome more emotional hurdles than physical ones in this campaign.

Going back to Molly’s grave was very exciting for Ashley since she wasn’t able to be there when he died in the game & wanted to do what she could to honor him. Yasha, however, was very hesitant but knew what needed to be done. She’s not very open with her emotions, but both she & Ashley were stressed. They all could feel the energy in the studio & knew Matt was about to do something mind-blowing. Liam: “You could feel all the dust in the air coalescing around Taliesin.”

Brian trips over Eodwulf. Liam tries to help him find some pronunciation shortcuts. Ashley: “You say it so beautifully.” Brian: “Thank you.” Ashley: “Not you.”

Caleb knows how wickedly intelligent & ambitious Astrid is, and was heartened by the wavering he saw in her at the dinner. However, he can’t trust her until he knows why she’s where she is.

He really feels that if they’d had this dinner 60 episodes ago, Caleb might have tilted back along the evil axis and he would have had to retire the character. He had a playlist entirely for if Caleb turned evil and left the party.

The vision of Zuala was a huge deal for Yasha, even along every other instance she’s had of being mind-controlled, etc. “That’s guilt I think she will always carry with her, but at least she’s starting to forgive herself.” Losing the chains, sprouting wings again--Ashley reiterates that she didn’t know that was even a possibility, she just picked the skeletal wings because they were dope--were huge moments in the character development. Ashley’s glad Beau was there at the moment of the first flight; Ashley thinks of the quotation “Happiness is only beautiful when it’s shared,” and because Yasha tends to keep things very much to herself, having someone there to share it made it more impactful. “That was a cool moment. There’s been a lot of healing for Yasha these last episodes.”d

Ashley also says sometimes in that moment, when all eyes are on you in a one-on-one with Matt, everything goes muffled like Saving Private Ryan. “Wub wub wub.”

Dani feels that the only way she could even have the conversation with Zuala was to let her go in the first place.

Liam thinks one of the things that Yasha & Cad share is that still waters run deep. He loves how much Yasha hangs back sometimes, only to then reveal some new moment like the fighting pit. Apparently Ashley also has a knife collection, and uses that metal side of herself when she wants to let that new side of Yasha show.

Cosplay of the Week: Crystal Armstead (@riyuski on twitter) in a Reani cosplay. Beautiful!

How does Liam feel about the return to Rexxentrum? Very, very complicated. Caleb loves magic and lights up when he sees it, which is wrapped in the Soltryce Academy; he brought folks to the dance hall for the same reason, which was wanting the M9 to see the things that he loved about the city.

Yasha felt the same way about visiting the Chantry of the Dawn. It was a memory of a very traumatic moment (almost killing Beau), but given everything that’s happened between then and now it was cathartic to see again. There’s been a lot of healing in the past few weeks. It also felt like a physical representation of Yasha’s growth, the last time she was controlled against her will like that (or at least, until she was mind-controlled by Vokodo. Ashley sighs, aggrieved.)

Brian: “The tower really feels like a love letter from Caleb to his friends.” Liam: “It is, and a love letter from Liam to his friends.” When he looked at Caleb’s spell list, he remembered how amazing the mansion was in Campaign One and how many role-playing moments it led to and knew he wanted to incorporate it. However, he knew it could never be the same as Scanlan’s mansion because Caleb doesn’t have the same improvisational genius as Scanlan does. Liam has been “tinkering with this machine” for over a year, waiting for the moment to reveal it. He loves that he got a chance to see Jester’s room in time to have her tower room reflect reality. He’d discussed the tower extensively with Dani & Matt. Brian: “Hey! What am I, chopped--what’s the saying?” Ashley: “Chopped cabbage?”

Ashley marvels at the design of the dome. Liam talks about how Caleb knowing Caleb has been abused has been slowly getting better, but he also loves now being able to juxtapose that healing with his innate love of magic and how beautiful he finds it, how he loves to use magic as his artistry. The Soltryce Academy wasn’t “Welcome to DEATH SCHOOL,” it was the Sorbonne. It was amazing, everything he wanted. It was only one bad apple within that recruited him and turned it all bad.

Liam also points out how much it means in real life to be able to express his love and care for his friends in person too.

Ashley talks about how much she loves Yasha’s armor in a meta sense because it’s so cool and useful, and great for her armor class, but struggles with what it represents in game. She might not be able to let it go due to its sheer utility, and she may have to find an in-game reason to justify keeping it.

Ashley segues a moment into talking about her velvet top which apparently has a matching velvet scrunchie. She’s asked to demonstrate the scrunchie and ties her hair up in a way that I have never in my life seen someone do with a scrunchie before, and my hair’s been waist-length most of my life. I watch it again in slow motion. How did she DO that??

Caleb’s been looking for the right time to tell Jester about his past for a long time. She’s a good person and makes him feel like he might be capable of becoming a good person at the end, because that’s how she saw him. Liam knew from Laura that Jester wouldn’t condemn him, but Caleb put it off as long as possible. He also wanted to take the time to make sure Caduceus & Yasha knew the whole story too before they went to dinner with Trent.

Liam was also relieved to get it out, because he could never remember who knew and who didn’t, and now he doesn’t have to track it anymore. “Now we can move forward. Now we can heal wounds, maybe.”

Ashley feels Cad picks up a lot, more than most people realize. Yasha was really affected by Cad’s line: “Patience can be good, but it can lead to apathy.” She really feels it opened her eyes, and she appreciated the simplicity of him pointing out her hair’s growing back white again. Having a friend notice “hey, you’re changing for the better” really means a lot. She’s interested in seeing how this means things might change with Beau.

Dani points out that it also reinforced for Yasha that she can want things too--she can be patient and just continue to be with the group, as she’s wanted, but it’s okay to want more than that too. Ashley remembers Veth asking her what her purpose is. There’s a part of her that knows Yasha is still figuring that out, and she’s interested to see how Yasha will continue to change. She’s always spent her life serving somebody--the Sky Spear, Obann--and then even after she joined the M9, it was very centered on “what do you need, what does the group need, how can I help with our next job?” She’s going to have to take some time to figure out what she wants.

Fanart of the Week! Lovely Yasha & Beau flight art by @JMNP7888. The wings look amazing!

Brian: “One of the things we want to talk to you about, Liam, is about the Vokodo fight and the FUCKING disintegrate spell.”

Liam: “That was one of the most insane 60-90 seconds of gameplay that ever existed for the table, and definitely for me, in the entire history of the show. A lot of people think I just went, oh man, just bet it all on black. But what if I told you that...I Larkin’d the first 20 seconds of that fight and then at a quarter to midnight, I forgot that the reflection was a thing? I just forgot it was a thing! I spent that whole battle thinking I’m just here to banish things. I might buff my friends a little bit, maybe I’ll counterspell, but I’m just here to banish. And it didn’t work and it didn’t work and then it did! Finally it did and Jester made it work and then he was GONE. And then everyone got greedy and it was done but we brought him BACK. And it was a quarter to midnight and I’m not an animatronic D&D lesson machine, I’m just a guy playing D&D at 11:45 at night, and he came back and everyone started Goodfellas circling him and kicking him, and Beau & Yasha are gonna kill him, and then it’s my turn? Disintegrate! And then the room was quiet, and then time passed, and Matt asked, you really cast Disintegrate? And I said yes, of course, and Matt started rolling dice, and in the back of my head I started wondering why he asked if I was rolling Disintegrate. Oh no. In the back of my brain, I was like, well, just tell him that’s not what you did. Tell him you didn’t remember the reflection thing. But he’s already rolling dice! You can’t take it back now. Hold on a second. I’m going to take you on the journey I went through. I was thinking: you have a spell save of 17. This thing wasn’t that fast. +1, +2, maybe? Anything under 14 is okay. That’s 70%. 70%. That’s okay, right? And still no one said anything to tip me off that I was in ELDRITCH MADNESS at that point, no one said anything about the reflection! And then I realize it can reflect back on us, and I realize this is...disintegrate. And then I started becoming morbidly, macabre-ly fascinated at the puppet dance of death I had created. Well, this is a mess. I have made a mess. Let’s just sit in it. And somehow, nonsensically, spectacularly, it worked out in my favor. I went home that night and I got in bed next to my wife, who was fast asleep, and I stared at the ceiling going, dude. Duuuuuuuude. Duuuuuuuuuude.”

He apparently also told his therapist about this and how terrible it was and how close he “danced myself to the precipice like a crazy person!” Marisha (as told by Liam): “Epic roll, though.”

Matt told Liam that night that if it had been reflected, it would have gone back on him. “If a player throws an M80 in the middle of a room, it would reflect on that player who threw it.”

Ashley talks about how interesting that Yasha is not performative, and yet has been doing these public performances with the harp. It’s a great experiment for Ashley--Yasha doesn’t like the attention, but feels like she is making something beautiful for the world.” She’s trying to change something about how she views herself & her place in the world. She was raised to be a weapon for the Sky Spear, but she’s also extremely gentle and loves flowers & beautiful music, and the further away she’s gotten from the tribe, she’s falling in love with gentle, beautiful things. 

Liam also points out it easy (real, but simplistic) to make an entire character centered around a single personality trait: “I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time.” He thinks it’s more realistic to see nuance in personality.

Liam can see some paths for Caleb to find peace & do good. He doesn’t know if Caleb is conscious of those. He thinks it’s a huge step forward to admit he was molded in this direction at all and that it wasn’t all his choice, but doesn’t know if this is the same possibility as redemption.

He also mentions Essek in this answer: there was/is attraction there, both intellectual and physical--the forehead kiss was a big marker of that--and he’s interested in seeing where that goes because he’s invested in Essek’s redemption arc on its own, but Essek is not as high on the list as other things Caleb/the M9 need to work on. He loved the “high spy times” of the Essek arc and the tangled-up-ness of feelings getting involved at the same time as intense commitment to duty.

Liam always felt Matt would bring Molly back in some aspect, even though Caleb always demurred because he doesn’t believe in fate. Dani and Brian agree that this is the start of a new act.

Ashley cried at the Vilya reunion. She thought that was an incredible moment and was so glad to see Keyleth. Liam: “Keyleth as part of our story is everything to me. That story is really important to me, so getting just a glimpse of her again was so important to me.” They could all see how that affected Marisha & how special it was to her. Liam: “It was such a great note in her song or color in her painting. She achieved magnificent things and was powerful and great, but had a very heartbreaking and sad ending, so to have this sliver of joy go back in is so complex and beautiful and masterfully done.”

Aaaaaaand that’s all for tonight! Remember, no Critical Role this week. Talks will be back in two weeks. As always, don’t forget to love each other. <3