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Oh boy, none of us can take the bright colors seriously. We will come back to that later after we figure out how to make all the colors not look terrible together. XD

For now, enjoy the fluff.

System Mascot!

Yes, they will be bright like candy. Yes, they will change colors based on who is in front. Yes, Kit, the resident furry, finally got inspiration and approval of everyone in the system. This is the first draft, so expect some changes in details (particularly the feathers). We are already quite fond of this little chimera.

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System Mascot!

Yes, they will be bright like candy. Yes, they will change colors based on who is in front. Yes, Kit, the resident furry, finally got inspiration and approval of everyone in the system. This is the first draft, so expect some changes in details (particularly the feathers). We are already quite fond of this little chimera.

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In every community there are certain people who tend to be a common denominator for drama.

Sometimes it's hard to figure out because they tend to frame things like they aren't the ones causing it, but once you do figure out who those individuals are and start interacting with the community with that knowledge, all of the drama seems a lot less serious and it becomes easier to tell when things are blown out of proportion. It also becomes a lot easier to engage with the helpful side of the community. I highly recommend looking at whatever communities you are in and identitifying those who are repeatedly involved in the problematic situations, even if they're on "your side".

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Another day of me being grateful that I have DID. Another day that I’m grateful I can tell my spouse about the fun things in my head. Another day I’m grateful these parts — these people — saved me. Saved us.

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Holo has apparently decided that now that she can reliably front, she rather likes it and remains covertly in co-front almost constantly. She is very quiet about it, and I genuinely cannot tell if she sometimes takes over talking or if her presence just has a subconscious influence. But I will say something, and it'll catch my attention on just how unlike myself I sounded and how much it sounded like Holo instead. If I prod to see if she is there, I get the faintest trace of a smile or laugh, and that's usually it. Which, if she wants to chill, that's fine by me.

It is just so new and strange to have a member who can keep their thoughts and presence so well hidden while co-front. Keeping things secret in the inner world? Psh, that's normal and expected at this point. Ashe can be quiet, but I still almost always know when she is at least there. Her presence is very noticeable in comparison to Holo.

I always love discovering the differences between everyone and how we all uniquely coexist.

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While everyone in our system enjoys using nice art of their faces, there are times that they just want to use something they like. Just like any other random Discord user. We have never made the assumption about icons because some people really do just be showing off things they like. Let's normalize not assuming things about icons of plural folk.

i know why it's a common assumption, but can we all cool it on assuming that someone's icon is automatically reflective of their source if it's on a pluralkit? if they're even an introject at all. like, wait for people to bring that up themselves.

don't go asking them about their rainbow dash exomemories/pseudomemories when they haven't brought up being a rainbow dash introject, when they just happen to be a brainmade alter/headmate/part using a rainbow dash icon.

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does "source separation" actually work for anyone for coping with/getting rid of exotrauma or did someone just make that solution up to try and shame fictives out of talking about it cuz I have been told a suspicious amount of times to Just Source Seperate considering how much it Doesn't Help

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“I cant. I’m not smart enough. I’ll never reach my goals. I’m useless. I don’t deserve to succeed.”

Outta here with that nonsense! ACCEPT that you can change your story.

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Unexpected art for 1666 subscribers. I won't start drawing Hazbin Hotel, just my random desire to draw my favorite character.

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question related to another anon you got, do you consider yourself "pro-trans" then?

I feel this is directed about how I said I dislike using pro or anti labels. I am unsure of why else someone would ask a nonbinary fox if they support trans individuals.

I am of course pro trans.

That is one of a few things I am okay with the "pro" label being applied for. You see, what I usually dislike about pro or anti labels is the lack of nuance they provide, and more importantly, it is usually used solely as a means of virtue signaling through online discourse. Transgender rights are not isolated to online drama. If I use pro or anti it is likely because the issue has made it to the big leagues and won't stop existing as soon as I log off the net.

There will always be exceptions, and I am sure my reasoning for being picky about how I use the term will not make sense to everyone. It doesn't have to. I don't think what term someone uses is what actually matters. What matters is our beliefs and our actions towards others influenced by those beliefs.

If you meant to ask me if I am "pro trans-ID" then no. That is one of those things I refuse to use a pro, anti, or neutral label for. My stance on it is complex, nuanced, layered, depends on the situation/individual, and is still evolving.

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As someone who has also been struggling with this, I can only say try not to overthink it. My partner and I were just discussing how symptoms of ADHD, Autism, Maldaptive daydreaming, and CDDs all have overlap. It's hard to know what is causing what. In the end, all you can do sometimes is acknowledge the symptoms.

I know I likely have CPTSD. I also know I have trauma responses that have built up from childhood to adulthood. I know I mask, and I know I have parts of myself that may or may not be actual individual dissociative parts. I have very classic IFS dynamics. I also have members in the system who are their own individuals. Some front, some don't. I have had some who speak and others who don't. I've seen people with CDDs who cannot connect or communicate with members. I have seen people who only can communicate through vibes and feelings. People noticing identity fluctuations through the most subtle signs. Having a CDD is not cut and dry. There are so many different experiences that you can't really say what does or does not prove you have a CDD when it comes to the behavior of parts or members.

What I have decided is to go with what best *helps* me. I could easily say I have CPTSD with dissociative tendencies. This at base value already gives me everything I need to understand myself. But, going further and expanding that to accepting I have OSDD (even if it may not be more accurate) has opened up an even more positive path for myself. It may just be a placebo thing, with no true difference between the two, but it is what has best helped me none the less.

The real struggle is convincing yourself that whatever your experience is, you are not faking. This is something everyone struggles with. Live your life, learn what you can about yourself, about systemhood, about CDDs, PTSD, all of that. Then, you can make the decision that best helps you. What are you most comfortable with in the present moment I think is what matters most.

Things change. Change is good. Even when we end up wrong about something. Some get their answers quickly and some it takes a longer journey.

Hey 😥

A questioning system, a year into it.

I wanted to ask stuff, since I'm too scared to ask people who I'm close to or who have any semblance of a perception of me. I havent seen everything posted so idk if things are covered or not already.

1) How do I know for certain that it's DID/OSDD and not a mix of ADHD and CPTSD? I always deny it, I never let anyone have the idea I'm parts instead of a whole single unit, but I constantly live in secret like I am parts, that they're distinct and different, even if it feels like the actual distinction isn't really clear :( I know I dissociate. I know I have trauma. I know I have amnesia, atleast some—idk if switch amnesia because there's maybe only a couple instances I remember that were like that? Minimal if any.

But then it's the self states thing, the markedly different identities. Which leads to

2) How can I even recognize if I'm made up of alters, how would I know? I feel like at best, alters that have interests or connections come out, and then they're just. Gone. And they take the interests with them. And they never come out. I feel like I've been operating like a lifeless mannequin this entire time because of it. We don't really use "host" as a role but I imagine sometimes this is what it's like. I feel like I don't really have interests, and we collectively identify as aroace and agender. Because we LACK those identifiers. Even though we also know sometimes we have and feel them? But. Idk. How do I know I'm not just taking CPTSD 'parts', IFS stuff (which I dont rlly look at), and exaggerating them into alters for a more serious disorder? Rarely if ever there's any sense of communication, we don't get the whole voices in my head/thoughts that aren't mine feeling most of the time. I don't even know if this is because I'm functioning as someone dissociated from myself perpetually or not, and idk how I would ever be able to tell if I'm a singlet or a system when my daily could actually just be that I'm not connected to any sense of self or identity 24/7.

3) this is more from attempts to define what makes an alter, related to the cptsd parts thing.

...

Idk how to phrase it. I guess it's that. We define alters mostly by the emotions they usually feel? We've always thought of ourself as, by default, feeling joy or nothing/neutral. That we can't feel anger or sadness, even though obviously we do and have. Can alters just be like dissociated emotional states? Atleast one of them seems to have an identity, and they're the equivalent of anger. Is it unreasonable to believe that alters can be identified like this? Does it need to be more complex? Is it weird or wrong to think of myself and my identity in terms of what I *can* feel, what I'm currently feeling?

I don't know. Sorry if these are weird or bad questions or things you can't reasonably answer. We'd get a therapist or talk to a professional if we could.

I just feel like I'm lying to people around me, people who know me. That when I say I have alters, that it should be more... obvious, than this, despite what the disorder is inherently. I can't ask questions because then I seem like an idiot, mis- or uninformed. (I know I need to get through my problems with ppls expectations of me but it really feels like I'll be abandoned or lose their trust if I'm honest and open about it all.)(In another scenario, if I felt differently, I probably wouldn't be crying as much as I am right now /lh)

It just has felt like this disorder explains a lot about who I am sometimes, that it resonates for a reason. And I accepted it with a theory that put all my stress and worry at ease. But now I'm in a liminal state of denying it around people who I have a relationship with, who will see more of myself, while accepting it for the most part in front of strangers, people who don't really know me and so won't tell me I'm lying/faking it. (It really feels like if anyone close enough to me knew I was questioning DID like this, they'd tell me that there's no way, that I'm not made up of alters, that I'm just one person. Because they're close enough to see what I'm like, even if it's not fully in depth. *Especially* if they don't see every side! And I would end up taking their word for it, because that's how they see me, so it must be true.)

Sorry for long post even though ik there's been plenty of long asks (and responses) before. I think what I said was a lot, maybe too much 😓 -🤎

I just want to say that the more you ask or want to learn, the more you are equipped and knowledgeable so there's nothing bad about that! I'd happily answer your questions in long details, and i also secretly like seeing people yap in asks (isn't it obvious.. since im also a talker,, but also,, more details, the better)

--

Good point, they do have many overlapping symptoms but they also have their own hallmarks which helps in differentiating,, CDD's are known for more severe amnesia related issues and inconsistent identity, while ADHD is known more for struggles with focus/motivation and have a difficult time being consistent with routine, and CPTSD have more issues around negative associations/triggers that could cause anxiety/panic attacks whilst dealing with paranoia and general distrust. The thing is, rarely people ever only have one diagnosis without the other, so don't make this a priority to deduce whichever you have, but to understand how this creates a more complex manifestation of your current troubles.

You can see through the inconsistencies throughout the days, like jumping to different hobbies (can be mistaken as adhd/autism hyperfixation, so the difference of this fixation is you feel the hype and passion for long and you drop it off once it didn't feel as great again, while CDD's is more on inconsistencies than dropping it all completely). Or you might like vegetables then say its the most horrible thing to ever exist, a total change of fashion style or accent or mannerism is also something. More outward expression means higher chances of having alters,, and this is different from IFS or CPTSD, since ifs (iirc) is assigning/labeling different states of yourself so you can further understand where feelings and reactions cme from, while cptsd is more to non-integrated emotional/physical states after the trauma and it disrupts daily functioning due to the heightened awareness for detecting danger. Also having a CDD doesn't require you to have "voices" inside head, thats just another form of language.

Yes they can be emotional states but often more complex than, or grow out of more than just "feeling" and base it around their newly growing identity . If it stays as emotional states and don't experience distinct shifts in your personality or overall identity, it then can be explained as BPD or CPTSD than CDD.

Also i wanna add as a final fused system (makes me a singlet ig..), "one person/thing/identity" really limits and ignore the fact that we are multifaceted in nature--its how we can understand social cues in different groups and blend in, just that for systems have yet to fully integrate these facets and control them on your own will. So instead its a disorder of self imbalance, in a way.

I hope this answers everything!

- c

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what does being pro endo mean to you? if you identify as such, im assuming

Pro endo by association I suppose.

But, I GREATLY dislike using pro or anti terms for near most everything. Syscourse is no different.

I support and respect endogenic systems. I see them, their struggles, their accomplishments, their history, and progress. People just like me, just trying to live their life. I see people making mistakes, coming to important revelations, growing, loving, and hurting.

To me, supporting endogenic systems means I support uplifting someone rather than pushing them down. I support the unknown, the new, the future of something unexpexted, but important, about the human mind that one day could become a very normal part of being human (or at least a normalized understanding that plurality can exist outside of dissociative disorders). I am supporting listening to others just as much as I'm supporting new or continued research.

I am supporting respect. I am supporting the right to take risks, make mistakes, and *change* your perspectives and understanding.

If I was "anti" anything, it would be misinformation. But even then that isn't a clean cut issue. There is misinformation out there, but some do not realize what is being passed around is misinformation. This is an issue on both the anti and pro endo side.

I am not a blind supporter. I am not a blind hater. I support endogenic systems just like I support CDD systems. Some may not believe you can do both, but, it is actually incredibly easy to do so. Almost natural to do so.

I am one of many who are helping to build a stronger community, with an improved frame built of understanding and respect, to better support every single person out there who is multiple, plural, median, or just *different* in that unique way we all can relate to no matter what we call it.

I chose to listen to that little voice in my head, and he chose respect and hope for a better future. Being part of that is something I feel blessed and all the better for.

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Circ's Switching Advice

The number one thing to remember when it comes to switching and learning to control, in our opinion, is compromise. You have to work together to switch, and that can be difficult.

Tips and tricks I've learned:

Grounding and meditation have helped a lot. When we're triggered, it's a lot harder to sit with myself and say, "Who do I need to help me handle this?" If you need to switch, stay calm and breathe.

We have found it easier with various visualizations. For instance, when we switched today, Ve imagined herself flying out of the fronting circle -- but she was in too much pain from our headache to switch. So instead, she visualized me coming over and patting her shoulder, which I did. Then, I was close enough to take the control, and she could go lay down.

In connection with that above bullet, visualization helps in the outerworld too. We found it helped us a lot when we started writing our experiences through the lens of a robot with multiple "cores" who represented our alters. When the bot switched, the color of its UI switched as well to the colors we associate with. Now, when we switch IRL, we visualize our eyes changing color to the associated color, which helped to ground our switches more in reality.

We found it helped to have an accountability buddy for switching, in this case our spouse @circulars-singlet. They will remind us of how long we've been out, which in turn makes us think, "hey, you're right, I tend to get burned out if I'm out that long. How am I doing?" Those check ins are really helpful. They'll also remind us if we said we wanted to switch.

We sometimes have found it helps to focus on the feeling of our body while switching. For instance, Numb when he fronts tends to have a better posture than us, so if we want to switch to Numb, we often straighten our posture. It's kinda like... we make the house something the person would like to live in if we want them to come to the house, yknow?

We also used to use music to help switches along. Still works to this day. Roy's the only one who likes country, so hearing country music helps get him closer to front. Same with vocaloid for Tavi and swing for Numb.

Communication is vital, however you end up doing it. We've basically always been able to contact one another, but we have used journals before to do so. If you want someone to switch in soon, maybe writing them a note or calling out to them innerworld would be a good idea. Making them aware of that desire in any way is a great call.

Connected to that and compromise, it can sometimes be hard to suggest someone come and take the burden. We actually still are struggling with this concept. Asking someone to switch in is hard, because we understand how difficult life can be, and it's hard to ask someone to take that burden on. Our therapist has been working with us to view it more as "Thank you for your help" and less "Sorry for what I'm doing to you."

I'm starting to run out of steam, sadly, but please folks, feel free to chime in with your own ideas.

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We have been told we make some banging burgers so I'd be doing that.

But, the lack of egg salad is hilarious. What if someone brought homemade instead? Potato salad is another good option. Or better yet, shrimp salad. Now, before you get fussy, let me tell you cold shrimp, shell pasta, and peas mixed together with a nice sauce is one of the best salads out there. I use to eat plates of it as a kid and miss it terribly as an adult. It was a grandparent special that I never properly learned. ;_;

welcome to the syscourse cookout! please pick what you want to bring! every vote means they bring one dish of the chosen vote!!

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Polls on Tumblr are silly

Polls on Tumblr are flawed

Polls on Tumblr depends heavily on who even sees it

It is not a hard science

But, if you are going to have a bias on participants then you need to be very clear on who is being asked to participate and even then, expect people who are not your target audience to still vote. It's going to happen.

In real life, people are not handed a magical checklist to prove if they are good or bad people before being allowed to participate in surveys and research.

Getting angry at the people interacting with a public poll just seems silly to me.

mean post. some of yall are fucking idiots when it comes to collecting data. it's exclusionary and inherently stupid to exclude people from your data collecting because they share a different discourse stance from you. and, no one is oppressing each other in discourse. there's lateral violence, but you are not being oppressed. it's also real nasty to compare other syscourse stances to ongoing genocides, what the fuck.

someone with DID is still gonna fucking have DID. and even if a syscourse stance was connected to being queerphobic, they don't exclude those people when collecting data about mental health.

some of yall love to play scientist and then do the stupidest shit because you can't get your fucking mind out of syscourse for 3 seconds and look at how the world works.

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A mix! But I think system members is our go-to neutral term.

But it ultimately depends on the member.

Kit uses headmates for most of the members who are now dormant. They use parts for specific parts of themselves that are not connected to anyone else.

Ashe uses systemmates (doesn't like sysmates)

Holo uses packmates

Alastor typically calls us colleagues or associates. But I also don't think he much cares and it changes to whatever he fancies at the time.

Stolas I don't think has a preference either but probably uses system members most often.

(Alter is starting to become a more common term as well but it's not really used in most conversation. In a weird transition period with that one)

Inspired by this poll because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to interact-

If you have a CDD or suspect it, you may interact with this poll!

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SO MANY

It is mostly Kit who collects them, and particularly if they provide good stimming textures. She has a variety of dinosaur squishmallows, pokemon, and foxes.

Here is one she recorded stimming with yesterday. She will never make a stim board, but it inspired her reasoning for recording it.

question 73: do you have stuffed animals/plushies? does anyone have their own, or a favourite?