#thats you projecting because what the fuck
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You've mentioned projecting actual stuff from your life onto Wars and I just. I have to ask. Did you also realize that you liked men via crawling out a window
(edit: yap warning, because for some reason i wrote way more than was necessary and lore dropped things i certainly didn’t need to but my head hurts too bad to skim through and cut things out so yippee enjoy the not asked for history of me being bi)
god i fucking wish that’s much more iconic than the truth- tho i have done plenty of crawling out of windows before (Actually now that I’m thinking about it, I made someone I crawled out a window with realize THEY liked men- And also question their gender- and then a good bit later I dated that person)
when did i realize i liked men? the second baby me set eyes on orlando bloom as will turner, pirates of the caribbean is 100% responsible for me being bisexual /j
when did i realize I Liked Men and that, in the conservative environment i was raised in, that was “Not Normal” and therefore made me gay: at 11 years old when my school had an assembly to talk about why you shouldn’t be attracted to the same gender and i broke down crying afterwards lmao
as a demisexual biromantic autistic guy you gotta understand for a good long while i thought i was living the universal experience and that people were lying when they said they were only attracted to one gender. i thought sexual attraction was fake- for years- and because i was raised in such a religious environment where people do not talk about sex or sexuality i went 11 years without truly realizing what being queer WAS. so finally realizing what being gay meant and what the reality of not being straight in the community i was in was was genuinely devastating because i realized very quickly that i was different and all the people around me would hate me for it
while pirates of the caribbean is definitely Thee bisexual movie, in all seriousness I don’t think i ever realized i liked men. i just always did, but i realized the ‘consequences’ of that in the eyes of the church at a middle school assembly, and i dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia for years after that
and then the first person i ever dated was a man, who kept telling me he wasn’t gay which… m not sure how dating another dude makes you straight but alright….
ANYWAYS yeah, i defeated my internalized homophobia by kissing men and climbing out windows and then making more people gay. not as iconic as Warriors, but 🤷♂️
also just to be so so so crystal clear to anyone seeing this: my blog is a safe space 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ i do not tolerate homophobia or transphobia of any kind. i know firsthand what it’s like to have to hide who you are and to have to realize there are people in your life that you still love even though who you’re attracted to has weakened THEIR love for you, and i can’t control the world but this blog WILL be a safe space for people to be themselves. and to any queer person reading this who’s been feeling really down and stressed about everything thats going on, i love you and im here for you if you need it. you’re not alone
#i don’t tolerate hate on this blog and i want it to be a safe space for EVERYONE#not just if you’re gay#but because this post was specifically about the queer experience and i experienced homophobia directed at me today#i just wanted to remind my fellow LGBTQ people that y’all are loved and supported here#because i need the reminder im not alone sometimes too#jes ask#jes rants
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HELP! I ACCIDENTALLY ENGAGED IN FANDOM DISCOURSE !
somebody made a comment i dont like but it REAKED of internalized homophobia to me and weird projection and i couldn't contain the beast (stop myself from reply) and i may or may not have been a bit harsh and pointed out that fact. oops. i dont regret it but now ive decided to take this stance indefinitely til the day i die and i will die on this hill
(psst my full thoughts are in the tags if you wanna like look or smth)
#if you wanna know what it was it was saying shipping mabcifica isnt weird actually#and treating mabels male crushes as normal but a potential crush on pacifica as toxic or problematic#like i know originally they were like rivals but they literally have the lumity dynamic#also implying that its weird that adults are interested in gf and shipping discourse is something#like the implication TO ME gave very much like weird projection but like thats just an opinion#A FILM OPINION!!#but yea admitting you see mabels boy crushes as fine but mabcifica as weird gives (again TO ME)#youre too young to know that youre gay but not too young to know if youre straight you feel?#like mabel liking a guy was fine but potentially liking a girl is weird to you?#also also#do people know shipping does not mean sec#like when i ship lumity im not tryna see them get down and dirty because im not fucking weird#same thing with mabcifica i want them to have a lumity dynamic cuz i think its fun#like who the fuck sees someone implying a ship between mabel and pacifica and immediately thinks#oh yeah you want these kids to fuck LIKE WHAT#thats you projecting because what the fuck#nobody else is thinking like that#also people know how 12 year olds act hell when i was 12-13 i had a gf#it didnt last more than a year but it definitely was real#and it was age appropriate and like not weird#so like somebody needs to chill on projecting their feelings about shipping#also they call allos pathetic like?????#obv this isnt a criticism of being arospec idgaf about that#the issue was using that as an excuse to be holier than thou to anybody who shipped anything#im not kidding it extended past mabcifica so like#anyways that was my rant#drop a dime on your opinions#michy speaks#michy says shit#michy thinks discourse is usually stupid but this one had underlying tones of other issues
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the star you've longed for
#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥#project sekai#revue starlight#pjsk#emu otori#nene kusanagi#emunene#prsk#proseka#yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death#HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL#Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week#im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar#thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp#i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role#rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place#Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL#though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead#revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar.#<- has been insane for 4+ years#Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON.#i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious#but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work#aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash]#throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use#idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways#emuneneweek2024#EDIT: i have decided nene gets a rapier. its awesome. thanks for coming#tsukasa has his giant flag and i dont want to budge on that. im thinking about giving rui the throwing knives since he juggles.#it would be funny. saki + rui knife juggling
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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Im not one to think too deeply about what Kodaka says on bluesky/twitter about the danganronpa cast but he just posted this and my mind is Reeling a little
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(Google translated so take with a grain of salt)
The person asks about what Hinata’s life was like in elementary and junior high and what his childhood was like.
Kodaka says “I [either speaking as Hinata or this is Google Translate missing the mark] was a normal person up until about middle school, and I was actually good at both grades and sports, but because of this I became obsessed with thinking I was special, someone who could make my dreams and hopes come true.”
And that just implies something so different to what I’d assumed about Hinata’s mindset and. I’m actually kind of obsessed?
I’d always assumed that Hinata was sort of a “kicked dog” if you will. Someone who never really had much and thats why he always wanted more.
This is not that. This is nearly the opposite. This is someone who had and still very arrogantly wanted more. Someone who could have been fine as he was, but it wasn’t enough. Someone never satisfied with the good that he had because there was more to be had, more he could have that he never got. Someone who was maybe quite good at some things, or at least decent, and his brain went “this must mean I’m something special. I must be destined for greatness.” This compiled with another question he answered that implied Hinata’s parents were actually kind of well off too (cant remember but something like they were the type to buy him things to make up for mistakes), like…This is not the downtrodden underdog of society I’d always read Hinata as being.
To me this stinks of envy. An arrogant, narcissistic, prideful envy. And oh my god. Isn’t that just so much more relatable?
To be someone who had every opportunity succeed without talent…And to accept the Kamukura project anyway… Not out of necessity or a pressure from society, but simply his own prideful, envious need to have more.
He’s not a nothing that finally got something. He was already something. He’s not an underdog, he’s an Icarus.
In its own way, I think that embodies a very contorted, “black mirror” idea of Hope way more than my previous reading of his character, which I think also makes the outcome of the Kamukura project just so much more deliciously ironic.
Oh? You want more? You aren’t satisfied with yourself despite having everything you could need? Ok. We’ll give you more.
We’ll give you more.
#scratches#danganronpa#hajime hinata#or maybe I’m just projecting 💀#also maybe everyone else had already figured this out and im just really stupid oops ;;;;#i wake up every morning and find new reasons to fall in love with you hajime hinata#but now I’m pissed off bc this is way more interesting than what i had thought#but i’ve already written the fucking fanfictions now.#FOR FUCKS SAKE KODAKA. DID YOU EVEN THINK OF MY FANFICTIONS#thats 200k+ words DOWN THE DRAIN#because I WASNT BIG BRAINED ENOUGH TO THINK OF THIS MYSELF#the things i couldve done with this knowledge before hand
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And once again we are left with Robby Keene, the eternal scapegoat of Cobra Kai. They blame Robby for Johnny continually abandoning him, they blame Robby for not trusting Daniel after being thrown out, they blame Robby for joining Cobra Kai when he literally had nowhere else to go, they blame Robby for Kenny’s descent to the dark side, they unilaterally blame Robby for underperforming at the tournament when everyone else was too, and now they blame Robby for his own sexual assault. What the fuck.
#cant wait to see what gets pinned on him next#kwons death? maybe!#you can fucking tell there is one token woman in the writers room who doesn’t get a say ablut anything#because this was clearly written by men#every single woman i know has a story like this so yeah maybe im fucking projecting but its also just so genuinely offensive#i do not think this show would have done this with reversed genders and thats almost worse#because it means they KNOW exactly what this is amd what happened here and yet they wrote it this way regardless#what the fuck.#cobra kai spoilers#ck spoilers#robby keene#cobra kai
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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im curious to see how we'll see how we feel about takehiro and the others' new designs when they're fully revealed but it did get me thinking about how i would design his outfit. unfortunately i realized very quickly that i would just put him in my own fashion style: department-store-clearance-core
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#no id rn because i havent figured out how to translate all this to alt text yet... gimme a bit to think on it orz#BUT yeah like. well im sure their new designs will be fine. but one thing that did stand out to me. is that i do not like muscle tees LOL#and i guess it snowballed. i like fitted tank tops. and loose 90s moe tank tops. but not muscle tanks. turtlenecks are fine.#but you know maybe my walmart clearance fashion sense works for him. i always liked that he kind of dresses like some fucking guy#like his blazer is pretty slick but the rest of him is just a guy in jeans and a t shirt. and i love that#like akashi dresses like my grandpa with better colour sense. kotarou dresses like a pokemon trainer? sourin has his like#traditional modern stylish thing going on. and the mysterious fur strip glued on the back <3 and aoyama dresses lowkey kinda hypebeast#streetwear esque. but takehiro? thats literally just some dude <3 <3 <3 i do worry his new design will make him tooo trendy looking#BUT im intrigued. i think they said they're hoping to do multiple designs by a bunch of people? which i hope they can#the original designs had a very. moe? appeal. a distinct sort of cuteness and squishiness without being toothrottingly so#that might be missing from some newer designs but if we have a whole variety we can have like#a zola project situation at least. like we have the stylistic amano art all the way to the v6 glossy designs#a whole variety would be nice. but i am worried about ryuuseis hair the most lowkey. what are we gonna do without his huge bizarre fauxhawk#BUT maybe i should throw my hat in the ring.... really push myself to make more fan designs and outfits for all these characters i like#maybe i'll be able to draw something thats not just zhers clearance clothes. maybe i'll step up to gap clearance clothes. even winners??
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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Jackalope Daily Day 378
I am simping SO hard over him I actually need help. I'm winning the olsimpics, I have a degree in simpology. Specifically for Jackalope.
#milgram jackalope#jackalope#milgram project#jackalopedaily#milgram#jackalope milgram#silly#milgram fanart#human jackalope#IM FUCKING SIMPING SO HARD DAWG#ZAMN!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 HE FINE AF!!!!#thats my husband yall look at him id put a ring on that finger!!!#FAWKING love him#🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#just one chance jackalope#ill take the bunny form even#LISTEN. PERSONALITY MATTERS. AND THAT'S WHAT I FELL FOR. NOT MY FANMADE HUMAN ONE. JACKALOPE HIMSELF.#im so loyal and accepting of my malewife#he is the best malewife#HE CAN COOK ANY CUISINE LET ME SPEAK IT ALOUD ONCE AGAIN#HE CAN COOOOOKKKKKKK#HE CAN CLEAAAAANNNNNN#HE CAN ACCEPT YOU DESPITE YOUR SINS OR WRONGDOINGSSSSSS#HE HAS PEAK HUMOUR AND COMEDY!!!#HE HAS A HANDSOME HOT FREAKING VOICE WE LOVE JUN FUKUYAMA#HE IS A GENIUS!!! HE BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL!!!#HE REASSURES YOU THAT EVERYTHING IS OK 🥺#HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND GUIDE YOU!!!#freaking awesome i could go on and in but i wont because tags have limits#todays recommendation is Divine CEO by LuLuYam its a banger and i used too many tags to yap about jackalope so im putting it one tag SEE YA
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trying to get back into draiwng again forreal so i can do some 6 month overdue art trades and i started drawing bata but got way too into niche regional dress differences and realized that if she's from gunib district then she wouldn't wear this kind of headpiece and the clothes from gunib district are probably the most boring out of all of them in terms of jewelry etc so idk if i wanna transplant her to somewhere else or what.
#shes literally from modern day so it doesnt have to be 100% accurate bc its her interpretation of folk costume anyways#but i KNOWWW she'd get mad at me if she was real#bat1a#talking abt her again but she lives in a neighbouring village and is family friends with shamil and kinda has a crush on him#she and liliya are internet besties and theyve visited each other a few times! she has highspeed internet because she has a job#taking environmental surveys for a university-run project from the city#and sometimes she has shama drive her around to stuff#also she has kinda fucked up teeth bc thats cute#she and liliya are the same age. when she gets older i can imagine her making traditional crafts and stuff like that one lak woman on IG#who makes traditional balkhar pottery and dolls and is suuuuper adorable#but its difficult bc much like shamil she also fucking hates tourists#a difficult balance.#also i named her bata bc i saw a post abt names and I don't remember if I had her concept already drawn but unnamed#or if I came up with her after but it was very cute and it fits her perfectly :33#r. if you somehow went on Tumblr again i hope you know I still hate you and you're a bitch for blocking me#and if we meet in person you're going to need a second nose job to fix what I'm about to do to your face
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3
#rat rambles#for the record I have not played limbus company nor do I plan to but the cast is rly good and I know a lot of ppl vouch for it#let it be known if I ever do get around to reading limbus stuff I will become obsessed with outis shes so me bait#youre telling me shes a middle aged woman a war criminal and a bootlicker? sign me the fuck up#I <3 crusty dusty women who suck ass#also ofc don is also the beloved but thats a given#the real question would be which of the other limbus women would comsume my life#because theyre all contenders for characters that could make me go insane. for better or for worse.#also reason number 500 that everyone I know should play these games is that its sooooo fun to make project moon ocs#ofc I and I imagine most ppl mostly make nugget ocs (aka your employees and combat units in the first two games)#but like its just fun to make ocs in this world in general#the worldbuilding of this game is like 90% built on 'would that be fucked up or what?' and I adore it for that#theyll just be like yeah theres a whole faction that follows these things called prescripts which can range from super simple stuff to#literally impossible stuff and if you aren't able to follow them you will be killed and theres a guy whos job it is to hand them out and he#has to routinely inform people to their face that they have to destroy their lives or die and it eventually breaks him#and you go ok cool Im still not over the teleporting trains that dont actually instantly teleport but instead travel through pocket#dimensions over the course of thousands of years during which the passengers can be injured and mangled and feel pain but not die and it's#not uncommon for whole societies to be formed in them but once they arrive to their destination the state of all the passengers is#perfectly reverted back to their state uppon entering leading to them being none the wiser of anything that had previously happened to them#and they go yeah haha we liked love town too anyways wanna watch this robot have another mental breakdown#and you go fuck yeah and get your ass handed to you
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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here's a small list of musical characters who have that tboy swag because my tboy detector radar is in overdrive rn:
hamilton + laurens + lafayette ( hamilton )
sonny ( in the heights )
jd ( heathers )
marvin + jason ( falsettos )
crutchie + racetrack ( newsies )
emmet ( legally blonde )
michael ( be more chill )
connor ( dear evan hansen )
basically all the men in operation mincemeat ( that whole show feels so trans idc )
this list WILL grow but i am tired so this is what you're getting from me
#no because you ever look at a character and immediaely youre just like “you have too much swagger or loserboy energy yo be a cis boy”#thats me with all these characters#i am projecting don't judge#hamilton#in the heights#heathers#falsettos#newsies#legally blonde#be more chill#dear even hanson#operation mincemeat#like i said operation mincemeat is just so fucking trans if you ever get to watch it you'll know what i mean
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my comic is live right now!
kyle and rex is an absurdist drama set in a stagnant afterlife where everyone lies, cheats, manipulates, and hurts each other in order to gain political power and admiration from the public.
with characters constantly haunted by ghosts of the past, trying to stay on top of the food chain despite constant betrayals and having their secrets held up above their heads, comes back kyle, from his long stay back as a guiding spirit on earth, to take back reigns of the throne in the inbetween. though much like everyone else, hes got a long list of dirty laundry that many are aching to reveal. there are no real friends here.
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updates every 2 weeks, at 6:30 pm central US time! (SP & ENG)
WEBTOON: english link + spanish link
TAPAS: english link + spanish link
FANEO: spanish link
#HI. GUYS. PUKES EVERYWHERE#im SO FUCKING NERVOUS#oh but first of all the link on top is a link to the promotional animation that goes along with the airing of my comic :) so if you want to#watch that you can. smile#anyways im just. really beyond excited and also terrified to start. cus you know#once i upload this theres no going back and im going to be constantly then publishing project after project thereafter and thats pretty muc#what ive been wanting to do all my life#so im just like this is the start of it this is going to set everything into motion!!!#im not expecting to get a ton of followers or readers or anyhting this soon specially since i think it starts to get GOOOOOD#after you learn some context but this is my first first original launch and im really excited!!!!!#i usually dont do this because i dont find it very important to me not as much as telling a really good story at least but obviously i have#tons of trans and lgbt just entire rainbow up in there and the majority of the characters#are not white they are from different cultures AND times#so if youre looking to read brown and queer stories by authors of the same there is that#anyone is fully welcomed to send any asks with questions or anything whatsoever!!!#i know its sort of a long post but as a notice i will be reblogging this every time i finish an entire new chapter#to keep people aware!!! c: i know it may be a bit annoying but i just want to get the word out !!#if youre bilingual i think it would be fun to see the differences between the translations i put i translated it myself since spanish is my#first language and well i think is funney :3#smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kyle and rex#my comic#webtoon#tapas#faneo#what do people tag these things wif.....#my art#technically!#i supourse ill have to rb it to my art blogs too yipee!!!
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