#thats where its gonna end up ig Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mmso-notlikethat]

🤡

[jimmyclueless]

Hello 👋 🤗,

I hope you are well 🌺.

I am writing to you with a heart full of hope and faith, asking for your urgent help. My family is in great danger due to the war, and I am running a fundraising campaign to save them.

Please, could you reblog the post about my campaign on my account? Every share can make a difference in my family's life. 🙏

Note:My old Tumblr account was deactivated💔, and I need your support again♥️.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can provide. 🌹🌺

hello!

i try to avoid any potentially stressful things on this blog, since i have nothing to donate and hate the guilt of being unable to help.

this is the link to the gofundme, and its been vetted plenty,by what i saw. im glad youre getting closer to your goal and wish you safety and fortune going forward.

[jpegarchives]

hi i came w a request ‼️ can i pls request a written hinata fic where like its graduation day?? or the end of third year n reader n hinata r both gonna pursue completely different paths and they both like each other but never confessed n it’s just a sad goodbye n maybe we can get like a confession BUT it’s definitely a sad goodbye so like angst ig!!

reader can be gn or fem reader idm :)))

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 — 𝐒. 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀

shōyō hinata x gn!reader (kenma kozume x gn!reader)

walking away from the boy you’ve loved for years is hard, but the past will always stay in the past, fading into memories you’ll leave behind

word count ; 1.5k

warnings ; swearing, angst, hurt, reader ends up okay

THE BRISK, COOL LATE-MARCH AIR did nothing to calm your nerves. As you walked down the mountain path to the high school you’ve attended for the past 3 years, you couldn’t help but feel the pinpricks of tears at the corners of your eyes. The weight of it all—the looming graduation, the uncertainty of what comes next, and the tight knot in your chest—threatened to pull you under.

Pausing for a moment, you breathed in the bitter scent of the mountain—almost rubbery with a small hint of wet earth and moss from the rainfall of last night. The mountains surrounding the school had always felt like a fortress, a place that grounded you. But today, it felt distant, almost indifferent to your inner turmoil.

Karasuno High School had been your second home for the past three years. During your second year your friend Hitoka Yachi roped you into joining her in managing the volleyball team—a team that had made it to nationals the year before, filling your school with a pride you hadn’t seen since your older sister had attended. Thats where you met him for the first time.

Shōyō Hinata. Number ten on the volleyball team, the guy who could vertical jump nearly a meter, Karasuno’s greatest decoy—and the guy who had unwittingly stolen your heart.

You’d never meant for it to happen. He was a ball of energy, bouncing himself off every wall. He was loud. He was stubborn. But above all else, he threw himself into everything he did with such raw passion and determination, making world around you feel just a little brighter when he was around. And yet, you could never bring yourself to tell him.

You don’t know when the tears started to spill; the only indication that you were crying was the wetness on your cheeks. Smoothing out your uniform and wiping the tears away, you continue your brisk descent down the mountain, the cool air pressing against your skin as you focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

The graduation ceremony went by pretty straightforwardly. You all sat in the large gymnasium, rows and rows of seats stretching before you. You listened to the principal’s address, then the teachers’ speeches, waited for your names to be called to receive your certificate. You sang along with the rest of your batch-mates as a farewell. And finally, you graduated high school.

The next hour was spent hugging and crying with all your closest friends, promising to keep in touch knowing that most of those promises wouldn’t last past the first couple of months. Most of your classmates planned to go straight into the workforce, opting to skip past university. You, on the other hand, had opened your acceptance letter to the University of Tokyo a month ago; and now with graduation out of the way, the future seemed to be coming at you full force.

After the long winded goodbyes, you decided to walk around the small campus of Karasuno High School, your tear stained cheeks the only reminder of the farewells you had just bid. Walking past the old classrooms you were filled with nothing but bittersweet memories of your adolescence. Yet somehow, you found yourself in front of the other gym—the gym the volleyball team had their practices in. The gym you spent most of your afternoons in for the past two years. The gym where you had first met Shōyō Hinata.

Peaking your head inside, you couldn’t help but let out a short laugh at the sight in front of you. Even on the last day of high school, Tobio Kageyama and Shōyō Hinata were at it, playing against each other in their formal school uniforms.

Somehow, you managed to get the attention of the short, ginger middle blocker, who came charging at you at full speed, stopping just a few centimeters from you.

“Y/N!” He exclaimed, his wide grin almost as bright as his fiery hair.

The sound of his voice, always so full of energy, made you smile despite the lingering ache in your chest. For a moment, you stood there, not knowing how to respond, the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. Every goodbye felt heavier than the last, but this one, this one was different.

Your hesitation was cut off by him throwing his arms around you, bringing you in for a tight, almost desperate hug. His warmth, a usual anchor, only made the storm within you worse this time. Pulling away, he flashed you that same goofy, boyish grin, the one that never failed to make your heart race, even now.

“We’re finally done! Can you believe it?” He asked.

You forced a laugh, the sound bitter on your tongue. “Ha, yeah. Seems like those three years went by in a flash.”

He didn’t notice the hollowness in your voice, or the way your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. Or if he did, he didn’t comment on it.

“I’m glad there’s no more exams! Well, maybe for you there are. I heard about your acceptance to the University of Tokyo, didja know Kenma’s also going there? Maybe you’ll both see each other!”

His words tumbled out faster than you could process them, each one another punch to your gut. Kenma’s going there too? Your mind was struggling to keep up, the meaning was already fading but it didn’t matter. The excitement, the energy—it felt different, much more distant, like it didn’t belong to you. He was talking to casually, so effortlessly, like everything was just falling into place. But inside, you were falling apart.

“But keep in touch, okay? I’m gonna be off in Brazil, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk!”

Braz….il? The word hit you like a slap to the face. Brazil? He was going to Brazil? Your mind was reeling, you could feel the blood rush to your ears, drowning out everything else. For how long? Was he ever going to come back? Why didn’t he tell you sooner? Why was he just casually dropping this bombshell on you now, when everything was ending. What did it even mean? Brazil. It felt like the world was slipping through your fingers, yet you hadn’t even made a single move to hold on.

Fuck.

A cold sweat broke out on your skin. This was last day you’d spend together for god knows how long, maybe even forever. And you still haven’t made your feelings clear to him. You still havent told him how much you cared, how much you loved him. How could you let this moment pass without telling him?

But did he even care? Did he even care about you in that way? It wouldn’t make any difference either way. You knew Shōyō, and even if he did reciprocate your feelings, you would always be second to volleyball.

You looked at him, his goofy smile so out of place with the turmoil inside you. How could you be this stupid?

“Yeah, yeah I’ll keep in touch, don’t worry.” A lie. “How could I not?”

You forced a smile, giving him a quick hug before turning on your heel and walking out of the gym, walking off the school grounds, and walking away from what is now your past.

FOUR YEARS LATER, you’re sat in your living room. A small smile on your lips as you absentmindedly fiddle with Kenma Kozume’s fingers. His arm draped around you, pulling you into his chest, the warmth of his presence a comforting feeling. He smelled faintly of laundry detergent and strawberries, the familiar scent filling you with nothing short of affection. Your legs are comfortably stretched out on the couch, the quiet atmosphere wrapping you like a blanket as he flicks through the channels, eventually settling on the sports network. You vaguely remember him mentioning that there was a match—the MSBY Black Jackals versus the Schweiden Adlers.

You smile up at him, and he looks down at you with a soft small smile on his lips. There’s a look of pure adoration in his eyes—one you know mirrors your own. The kind of look that says everything without needing words, the kind that makes everything else feel distant and small.

Nestling deeper into him, glancing at the TV as the members of each team run out. You freeze slightly as you see a familiar ball of orange hair catches your gaze—the unmistakable figure of Shōyō Hinata, now running out with the MSBY Black Jackals. Year of memories flood into your brain, but this time, as your heart gives a soft pang, you feel no softness, no longing. The nostalgia is bittersweet, yes, but it not longer carries the weight of what could have been. Instead it’s a quiet recollection of a time that’s passed.

Kenma presses his lips gently against your head, peppering you with soft kisses. Your heart skips a beat, but this time, it’s not a pang of longing for someone you could never have. It was love—full, deep, content.

“I love you,” you say aloud.

The words roll easily off your tongue, like a release. It feels like closure, a final acknowledgement to Shōyō, to the unspoken feelings from years ago. You let the weight of those words linger, not in regret or sorrow, but as a quiet, final acceptance of everything that has brought you to this moment.

a/n ; special thanks to @massacremars and @cherrysurf for beta reading for me lol i really wanna make a part 2 from shoyos perspective for this im ngl

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[spaciebabie]

any advice 4 when u want to keep drawing 2 improve but u cant get over perfectionism ? like when u just dont care how its gonna turn out, if its bad its bad yknow?

ahh yes lowkey ive struggled with this a lot. not as much now as in the past tho, and honestly its beecuz ive developed a more neutral view on myself/my art in general. its going to take time to get to this state of mind, so dont be too hard on yourself when you find yourself falling into bad habits.

advice under the cut (kind of long winded) ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the first thing ive done to overcome perfectionism is focus less on details and more about overall shape and form. when i sketch im trying to get roughly what i want, and i limit the strokes i do in certain parts of my sketch to like 1-3 depending on what im drawing (im ngl i also am very impatient and have created a workflow that makes it so i am able to start and finish pieces as fast as possible LOLOLOL. shrugs. i just like drawing fast).

a good example would be this thing i just drew:

in all of my sketches i tend to use as few strokes as possible and just get the basic idea down. good for not overly focusing on teeny tiny details and worrying about them later (i also use the same technique for lineart, but just end up connecting the lines. thats another tip i have, if you like your sketches more than your fully lined pieces, just line the same way you sketch! or you could also use your sketch as your lineart :P)

another tip i have is to draw from references, and once again, focus mostly on shape/form/the big picture of your subject before going into details (do you know how many planes there are on the human face....i still dont know howta draw faces properly but im not mad at myself anymore about it, i just open up a reference and try to learn). i also recommend having a drawing session where the goal is to draw awfully. draw something you want to draw, but that you're not sure if you'll draw it right, and draw it. dont try to correct it, acknowledge that what you made isnt perfect, and then draw something else. you're learning! of course its not gonna be perfect. but inevitably, you're going to get frustrated. just remember if its something you really want to go back to, you will be able to revisit it in the future. feel your anger and frustration, but do your best to not direct it inward.

small side tangent about shading- I AM SO SHIT AT SHADING SKFHSAFDJHS. people dont tend to notice (surprising), since ig my shading style is considered "beautiful" or something, but if you looked at it on a technical level, there are mistakes everywhere. i havent really tried to improve it. i dont really care most of the time b/c i just like shading for fun. and especially when im shading my sketches, i already have it in my mind that its not supposed to be perfect. its a sketch. this is where im supposed to make all of my mistakes. once i start making my way to the final product is when i start worrying more about if i did the lighting correctly (even then ik im not good at it im not trying to be a god im just trying to draw things that make me happy).

additionally, i really rec u dont try and fudge a sketch until its better if you're deep in a Perfectionist moment. keep the old sketch and start over on a new sketch taking bits and pieces you liked from the original, and improving on those that you dont (shitty thumbnails are also good if you have a vague idea in mind but need ta figure out howta place subjects in your scene). honestly drawing the same thing/idea over and over gets me a better understanding of my subject each time, so naturally each iteration looks better. it doesnt take me that long to sketch tho, so if sketching takes you forever (sometimes if sketching takes you forever its b/c you're a perfectionist skjfskdjf) just think about how much time you're willing to spend on something. remember☝️ its okay to give up/take a break on something and try again later. sometimes you just needta stop looking at your art and like. look at a tree or something lmfao.

i will also say that im not looking to go into a career in art, im more of a hobbyist. ik school environments dont exactly.....help with perfectionism lol. there are certain expectations put on people who go into the art field that are inescapable. if this is the case for you, i still think what ive discussed before can help you, but i also think that you may need to lean more on the mental tips i have also provided below.

alright! mental health tips in regard to art:

so, i have c-ptsd, and with that comes a lot of self image issues that ive had to work on. my feelings about myself extended to the way i felt about my art. it was shit, it was awful, i cant draw like this other person can so why bother, if its not perfect i shouldnt draw at all, etc. and honestly, something thats helped is affirmations. my affirmations are c-ptsd related, but ive noticed a shift in the way i view myself, and by extent, my art since ive started repeating them to myself daily. and honestly, i think a requirement of overcoming perfectionism is telling yourself that your art doesnt hafta be perfect, A LOT. LOL. LIKE YOU ACTUALLY HAFTA ACTIVELY TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE NOT AWFUL LMAOOOO. its funny, we dont think much about how we naturally are self critical about ourselves, and we dont realize that we are basically repeating negative affirmations about ourselves over and over and thats why we're not improving (mentally).

even when you're not drawing, i think it would benefit some people to have some kind of notification on their phone to remind them to tell themselves that their art doesnt hafta be perfect daily/however often you feel you might need it. and then with that affirmation, practice Shitty Drawing. one of the best tips ive ever gotten for this was from one of my friends monnie. get out your sketchbook or some printer paper, take out a shitty pen, and DRAW. and then any mistakes you make are permanent and you cant just endlessly try and fix them. it forces you ta sit with this uncomfortable feeling that something you made isnt perfect. eventually your brain will realize that when your art isnt perfect, you can still draw and you're ALLOWED to continue to draw even if what you make isnt spectacular. if you dont want to repeat an affirmation daily, try to remember to at least repeat it before you sit down to draw. something along the lines of "my art doesnt hafta be perfect in order for me to want to draw. im allowed to draw even if its not perfect" or something else. it depends on what you most struggle with in regards to your perfectionism. im ngl its probably going to feel cringe at first, but i promise you, it really works if you put it into practice longterm.

shoot for neutrality instead of positivity first. let me tell you thats where i am now and its so much less exhausting drawing lmfaooo. i make something that looks like shit and im just like. i dont fucking careee i dont give a fuccckkkkk

those are my tips :] i hope this was helpful!

[weirdhom0]

Project to read every zero day fanfic on AO3

So yall can read the title, as of like and hour ago ive made a project for myself to read every zd fic on ao3 bc I realized that ive read a concerning amount of caldre fics so I might aswell turn it into something. So far ive read the equivalent of 3 pages on ao3 as of now (60 fics) ive only made this an official thing an hour ago so I havent been smashing out reading every fic on a page back to back to back, ive just been going through pages and reading ones that catch my eye so all the ones ive already read are spread out across 25 pages of all zd fics on ao3, ill try to get through every one but idk bc theres no way im touching 'THE GREAT DILDX IN CALS ASSHXLE!!!' LIKE HELL NAH IM NOT READING THAT SHIIITTTT!!!😭😭😭 Or like 'the great tales of butter on andres belly' IM MOT FUCKING READING THAT you couldnt even play me to skim those fics honestly.

But basically every week or 2 im just gonna be reading a few of them and updating yall on my thoughts and feelings bc oh boy do I have some feelings about these fic, not updates and thoughts on all the individual ones ive read bc hell no im not gonna put that much work into this.

Progress so far + stand outs

like ive said, ive read 60 fics so far and honestly not many stand out to me this far mainly bc their just not very good like their either straight up poorly written smut or regular fics with not alot of flavour to them ofc no hate to the creators all power to them honestly if they have the drive and passion to put their work out there then thats great for them, I just dont have much to say on those types of fics. A MASSIVEEEE thing ive noticed with alot of the fics in the zd fandom are the concerning tags that get put on them like why in the fucking hell are there so many god damn non-con fics??? Its a weird amount that im less then pleased to see and really really dont wanna see more in the future id like to see college au's, coffee shop au's, record store au's (heheheh always gotta throw in a cherry waves reference) or more happy ending fics but idk ig thats just what I want. Kinda random but I just remembered seeing a young royals caldre au fic one time and I havent seen it since im really looking forward to it bc im pretty sure its 15 chapters long I LOOVVVEEE long fics but also I think a young royals caldre fic would be so fire?? Like I see the vision

STAND OUTS!!!!

Not alot of notable fics, just 3, but their 3 damn good fics that are absolute must reads.

(not in specific ranked order)

1. CHERRY WAVES!!!! Brief rundown: its a record store caldre au where cal is an employee and andre is a customer so its a strangers to lovers type thing its also a very music heavy fic (obviously) which I love bc I looovvee music especially the music thats mentioned like deftones, wallows, the smiths ect.

God I love this fic and anyone that's seen my posts will know how much I love it, cherry waves is definitely my favorite out of the 3 so far and I may have just some very low standards for zd fics but this was a genuinely enjoyable read for me. Its long (13 chapters), its a slow burn, its cute, and the best one for me is that its got me hooked into the story without the appeal of ungodly amounts of s3x!! Its good for me bc im literally asexual (the s3x repulsed kind) and borderline aromantic so yeah horray!! There is a chapter where cal and andre get freaky but its not even relevant to the story and the author wrote it to be skippable which bless his heart he is a saint for that, a true sweetheart ty miles💜 not much else to say without spoilers so go read it for yourself, I cant link nor can I tell yall the ao3 acc bc its an orphan acc now so just search up 'cherry waves' on ao3 and try to find it, theres only 8 pages so its not too hard to miss bc its written like 'Cherry waves [COMPLETED!!!]'

2. Televangelism by anonymous Brief rundown: religious cal, non believer andre. Cal is like super super super religious and is constantly talking about god and shit like that and andre is like 'yeah whatever'. Some build up later and boom caldre🎉🎉 its not alot of plot to explain without spoiling it so please go read it, its only one chapter so its not gonna take up that much time

THE WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. BEYOND AMAZING. IT GENUINELY HAD ME CLUTCHING MY PEARLS BC OF HOW GOOD THIS WAS OMGGGGGGGG!!!! initially I was interested in reading it bc I saw the name and it made me think of the song by ethel cain and I thought the fic might have something to do with her song since ik theres some zd ethel cain enjoyers out there. I was shocked by the beautiful wording in this fic, the way the author describes the way cal thinks is just MUAH CHEFS KISS and okay SPOILER PLEASE DONT READ THIS NEXT PART IF YOUR GONNA GO READ THIS FIC CAUSE IT RUINS THE WHOLE ENDING or maybe there were hints in the fic all along and my dumbass wasnt able to pick up on them🤦 the way the author writes the caldre freaky time at the end made it sound like heaven (no pun intended) like it really made me think 'damn I need to get freaky with my homies cause holy shit this is making say gex sound so good rn'. At first when I was reading the end i didnt realize freaky time was happening until a little later then I should have realized um mb gays im too asexual for this shit!!😅😅 But also the way the author writes cals thoughts about the gay freaky time is gorgeous??!! Ugh I love when people write freaky time in a poetic manner that makes it sound like your being banged by an angel and its blasing you with radiant godly energy rather then me reading the words 'yeah baby you like that?' and skimming over the paragraph until I see the word 'came' so ik its over. Other then the freaktastic freaky time, the whole fic is written magnificently and I really love how they write religious characters it was truly enthralling 10000000000/10 would recommend its been a bit since I read it so I might be meatriding off my memory but idk im writing this at 1 im too tired to read it again.

The lucky last, 3. FBI's most wanted by gaygurobian Brief rundown: cal and andre go through with the shxxting (god fucking damnit💀) and cals about to khs when andre is like 'lets escape I have a plan' so they escape from the police and are now on the run from the cops. Caldre caldre caldre🎉🎉 its barely toxic well i mean a little but I dont think having a argument with your bf is toxic. Cal is also transmasc if that adds anything but not really.

THIS FIIICCCCC GOD ITS SOO GOOOOOOOOODDD idk if this was the first zd fic ive ever read or if it was the first GOOD zd fic ive ever read either way it was an og fic for me and the most memorable aswell. I remember so clearly the day I read it and how invested i was in this shit it was crazyyyyy, the writing is amazing and the author could really go places with how talented they are at story telling it was just wow wow wow im speechless. Im being so real when I say I like this cal and andre more then cal and andre in the movie bc ik they both did the same insane act of shxxting up their school but the fic really makes cal and andre more likable and makes them feel like people in a way that I didnt see them in the movie. I dont really sympathize with the cal and andre from the movie and I lowkey dislike them bc ik they probably stunk and were completely dicks, but cal and andre from this fic?? Bro those are my homies they are gannnggggg their genuinely so much more likable in the fic which I mean its a fic yeah ofc their gonna seem more likable especially when they are in the hands of a talented author that knows how to expand on a character even if that character has little to none backstory or atleast not much to work off of to make them likeable as people😮‍💨 thsi fic is written so well that my ass stayed for the freaky time like that shit wasnt even that bad and was actually written well enough to where my brain wont vomit from cringe it really opened my eyes up to well written freaky time AND its perfectly intergraded into the story like its eased into it and it doesnt just come out of nowhere which im happy about. THE END OF THE FIC IS CRAZY THO I WAS SAT IN MY ROOM FOR 10 MINUTES IN SILENCE AFTER FINISHING IT MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR AND I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES!!! But yeah this fic is a classic in my eyes the whole fic is truly magnificent its 3 chapters of bliss bro its so so so good, the author is talented as FUCK and has a few other zd fics that ive read but just cant remember but ik they were amazing I just know it.

Thats it hopefully I can get out an update tomorrow this is gonna be one hell of a project thats gonna really hurt my eyes and my soul

[wackpedion]

atcually im sending more characters i wanna see u talk abt them tell me abt stan or fiddleford or bill for the ask game

OKOK I JUST ANSWERED FOR FIDDLEFORD OKOKOKOKOKOKOK im so excited i love them. okok ok OK OK ok so from this ask game:

STAN

favorite thing about them

How he loves the kids soso much ouhho vh oh o my ghod Not What He Seems tear my heart out rn. like theyre his world its so... ouhgkhjhbjh........ makes me ill. the way he loves his family as a whole is SO important to me like like like like he values his family so much theyre his world the way he spent 30 years getting ford back GOD dont remind me of of the portal incident i cant hhhrrrr

least favorite thing about them

I suppose how stubborn he is with Ford but like, idk i get it man. hes been thro alot and the two are on rocky ground up until the end so ofc hes gonna act like that and hes not gonna be all that emotionally mature about it.

favorite line

goddd he has so many good lines hes so funny. "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"

brOTP

fiddleford mcgucket i need them to be friends u dont understand. i need this so badly

OTP

ermmm No One ? ive seen some stanbill which i find funny but im not all that invested in it

nOTP

pinecest 👍

random headcanon

As kids he and Ford would often do the twin switcharoo as a fun kid prank, they thought it was the funniest coolest thing but they were actually very easy to tell apart past a first glance because they weren't all that good at lying and pretending (yet)

unpopular opinion

ig its only loosely stan related but roadside attraction should NOT have been aa episode with focus on stan WHERE IS FORD. THE EPISODE BEFORE THE BIG ONE THAT KICKS OFF WEIRDMAGEDDON AND THERES NO FORD!?!?!? kmsing kmsing but you already know how ifeel about it i told you all about it I Miss Ford. I miss my wife tails.

song i associate with them

LUSH BY MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE "everything i touch falls apart and i am left with nothingg everything i touch it turns to total garbage and i cant with and i dont know whyyyy!!!!" like like his insecurity about being the total screwup of the family, his many many failed businesses, the fact he broke fords project and also ended up pushing him into the portal, juistghfhbvhjhbb

favorite picture of them

i like him with his sailing outfit esp the the beanie its cute :3 and EEEE THE BROTHERSSSS <333333

BILL

favorite thing about them

whatever the fuck he has going on ford jesus christ what the fuck who let them get away twith this hello. hello. i cant elaborate cuz id just end up talking about billford forever but fjesuffucking christ

least favorite thing about them

Honestly sock opera didn't make much sense, like he wanted to destroy the laptop and journal cuz dipper was getting "too close", but the journal was needed to operate the portal which was what he Needed and Wanted. my best guess as to why he did that is cuz he didn't want them to find and go off the warnings Ford wrote esp in invisible ink but i dunno. perhaps its that the journals (esp journal 3) wrote of a way to destroy him, im guessing, since ford tosses them to dipper in weirdmageddon saying theres a way to destroy bill, but still. odd. Still my favourite episode tho!!!!

favorite line

"Fordsy, nobody else really gets you, do they? Without me, you'll always feel unseen, surrounded by dolts who don't recognize your full potential. You've always felt alone in a crowd, haven't you? Who else will give you this feeling again? Even if you got rid of me, you'd miss me. Admit it, you'd miss me."

"Reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram buy gold BYEEEEE"

"BY THE WAY IM SENDING SOMEONE TO STEAL YOUR EYES. THATS NOT A JOKE. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WILL STEAL YOUR EYES."

"I have some children I need to TURN INTO CORPSES"

also. just his "Yello!" gag in the dreamscaperers. its so sutpid i love it

honestly UGHH hes so quotable i love like every one of his lines everytime hes on screen its a joy. any episode is a good episode with bill. hes such a good villain

brOTP

None reaally? I guess I would've loved more antics with the henchmaniacs, like that one deleted scene, I found them pretty funny

OTP

BILLFORD DO UE VEN HAVE TO ASK HHHHHGHH

nOTP

None I think, i guess fiddleford and bill but i said that already and tbh im mostly indifferent to it

random headcanon

iii havent fully cvuaght up on all the code and lore cracking of TBOB but from what ive picked up he had to take medicine as a kid which affected his eyesight? so my hc is that he has some lasting damage with his vision from that

unpopular opinion

yes the book of bill gave us bill euclydia dimension lore but no that doesnt ruin his character sure his backstory is sad but like. its not his focal point. it gives him depth and an explanation its GOOD. hes still the villain whos evil because! who does whatever he wants! for fun! a sad backstory and a charming villain whos motivation is Fun can coexist its not the end of the world

also this is directed at like One thing i saw on twt but He Would Fucking Not listen to msi oh my god he canonically hates synthesized music i hate you

song i associate with them

GOD i have a few ermm.... theyre like billford related tho so. hope thats cool. the one ive been obsessed with is New Invention by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME its SO GFUCKING THEM DUDE ITS SO THEM LISTEN TO IT. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! pls

favorite picture of them

every picture but ig if i had to choose him playing faggot piano for ford is up there

[slither-in-gryffindor]

social media is a horror to explore

A/N: I totally have no idea how ig live works but uhh here's a valentines mini fic! btw the character's posts aren't necessarily related so this is scenario 3 with Wednesday having no socmed... or does she?

#3: Happy Valentine's Day!

<< >>

Enid’s followers immediately flocked to her stream when the notification popped up. They were greeted with the camera pointed upwards at a beautiful glass ceiling — showcasing the dark clouds and lightning that were in the sky

[woah! hvd! enid where you at?]

[happy valentines day enid!]

[dude that’s fucking awesome! perfect and is so me this vday]

The phone panned downwards and around the mansion. Dark wooden walls that created obscure corners,  tall windows that loomed; paintings of people in all black, still, yet looked as if their eyes were following you.

The comments were freaking out to what was happening to their beloved wolf as they expected a bright and cheery greeting this February 14. A greeting they always get every year

The camera flipped and Enid finally showed her face.

“So I am totally freaking out. It may not look like it, cause I am trying really hard to contain my excitement but —” she moved closer to the camera until only the upper portion of her face was in the screen “I am at my best friend's house cause she invited me to the Valentine’s ball her family always throw”

[asdklskglhs enid bby r u and ur roomie finally gonna get married]

[e dude! ur loyl invited u to a ball????]

[ahhhhh im so happy for youuuu]

“She’s not the love of my life” Enid hissed, turning absolutely red at the comment and looked around as if Wednesday was gonna pop out of some corner and kill her for saying something romantic. The girl doesn’t know about her  love and she plans to keep it that way. Thank the gay gods the goth doesn’t have any social media.

“Anyway as I was saying, there’s a ball in a few hours and want to see what you guys think of my top picks.”

The screen shook as Enid walked towards the guest room. The werewolf steadied the phone on the bed and the camera only showed an empty background while shuffling came from her trying on the first dress.

The top three dresses she chose were flattering. It’s not like she’s trying to make Wednesday see that she’s attractive, no.  Because she’s long accepted that Wednesday wouldn’t ever see her as more than a friend. She’s just dressing for herself, totally.

“Okay guys what do we think of outfit number 1”

[girl you look great i love it *chefs kiss]

[oh wow! You look so gorgeous that looks great on you]

[If that’s only choice number one I wonder how the others look cause that’s already hottt]

“Really? It’s not too much?” Enid asked, and nodded as more comments flooded, “okay, lemme know how number two looks.”

[Hmmm. You look gorgeous, but I dunno something seems off about it]

[What are you talking about??? This one looks cute!]

[marry me marry me marry me marry me]

“Right?! Like it's cute but not really. Okay last one. Maybe this is the dress.”

[ENID THATS IT THATS HOW YOU GET THE GIRL]

[omg enid so pretty]

[asgklasdhfwsdf mommy im gay]

[OOOH I KNOW WHY THE OTHERS LOOK KINDA OFF EVEN IF THEYRE GREAT. ITS CAUSE THEYRE NOT YOU. THIS IS YOU ENID IM SURE YOUR GF WOULD LOVE IT MORE]

“I don’t know about love it, but yeah. This really is more my style.” Enid brushed her hands over the smooth fabric and twirled, trying to look at herself in every possible angle. She bit her lip, it’s sexy but not too much. And the color totally agrees with her skin tone. Yeah. This is the one.

“Okay, I’m gonna get ready. I’ll try to show you guys the after-look and maybe even a pic of Wednesday. Happy Valentine's Day! I love you all thank you for the help!”

[stream ended]

<< >>

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[typekiku]

TSUKIHIME FASHION REVIEW 3!!!

under the dark crimson moon, i write this newest entry of the much awaited much beloved tsukihime fashion review.

it's a duty i must carry out for the sake of the generations of lost sheep both before and after my time that have yet to truly appreciate the true depth of style that is contained within the single greatest visual novel known to mankind (according to me)

yet, i feel as if i am not doing my duty to its fullest... how can i possibly adequately sum the glory of todays fashionista? how can i dare attempt to sum that up?? no! i cannot waver in my faith in my incredibly lacking writing skills nor fear people figuring out this barely has anything to do with fashion... I WILL PERSEVERE!!

on with the show as the youth say!

(SPOILER ALERT: i should mention ill probably end up spoiling a shit ton of oghime and whatnot here so watch out)

so without further ado todays subject is:

drum roll

MORE DRUM ROLL

thanks uhh whatever you are from

MICHAEL ROA VALDAMJONG

yes the one and only roa

BROA

the legend himself, the Serpent of Akasha, Uroboros, the founder of the burial agency, the infinite reincarnatior, and professional Arcueid simp.

we have gathered here today to judge his design and uh fashion ig and whatever else i feel like ranting today about.

lets get right to it.

look at this dude all shirtless and shit like cmon so shameless... cover em up damn. seriously tho this man has a thing for showing off his (or should i say others) bodies like you will see soon.

i guess this comes down to him enjoying the freedom of being fully in control of whatever body he is currently occupying actually?

maybe this is some super deep look into the merits of semi nudism or whatever idk im not smart.

probably takeuchi just wanted an excuse to draw some seriously ripped abs actually i mean this might seriously be the most abby abs we ever see in any TM work. its fucking shredded and roa probably knew that. weirdo

on the flipside that majestic hair is simply incredible. DAMN thats some 10/10 hair. only other hair in this series that compares is my wife arcueid's long hair before her mean little (Older actually but idc) Altrouge got all mean and shit.

umm who is this? what happened to my incredible haired roa?? TAKEUCHI WHERE ARE YOU??? someone please give me back long haired roa... this isnt funny...

do you see what we lost? long gorgeous haired roa should've stayed and im genuinely upset we lost him to this admittingly much better dressed roa. im ashamed of you serpent of fraudkasha

fr tho where tf did he even get this rockstar ass drip anyways? we know SHIKI has been locked up in the outside house for awhile before released thanks to a certain maid... did he just drop by the local hot topic or whatever? did he manifest it through sheer willpower and arcueid simpery?

understandable tbh i too acheive things through arcueid simpery such as dirty stares and social exclusion!!

for reference, here is SHIKI

yea

i guess he just uhh changes him which in hindsight is really fucking sad to think about so lets not

uhh ANYWAYS

ok so ignoring ciel on the right elesia or should i say roa decides the very first thing hes gonna do in poor elesias body is to strip it naked

huh?

yea roa is definitely a weird one. no wonder the other ancestors hate him (besides nero because he is #HIM)

sick cape tho

why is he so hot here actually? what the hell? i underestimated his looks like damn

no really why is he so hot anyways he should look like an absolute freak like he actually is. i see you roa. i see you got that long braid wrapped around your neck like damn son... you may have fallen in love with a literal killing machine and never even got to speak to her till the very very end but i see you.

rizzless bastard.

well thats enough from me so ill drop this classic mahoyo line because i found it very funny without context.

ciao!

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[ditzydreamsss]

hello everyone

im gonna rate judge slash talk about every game i have on my phone becauseeeeeeeeeeeeee im procrastinating

1: Cookie Run Kingdom i first downloaded it around the time the sonic event was ending. but i took a really long break then came back so my team isnt as strong as it could've been :[

2: Cookierun: Tower of Advantures ngl i played it for an hour when it first came out and i've been afraid of the storage it'll take up ever since. (i havent opened it in a while=needs BIIIIIIIG update)

3: Cookiezrun Puzzle World im on level 312

4: Good Pizza, Great Pizza I forgot this game existed. i played it SO MUCH when i was camping with a lot of people this one time and completely forgot about it after

5: 2048 ngl this game is probably why i almost failed science last year (was playing unblocked version of this on my chromebook & wasnt paying attention)

6: Orbia another game i played a lot during that camping trip with a heck ton of people. stats (for mountains) progress: 9.7% (level 196) fails: 867 play time: 3h 59min dashes in a row: 80

7: Roblox i play creatures of sonaria. thats about it (also adopt me for nostalgia's sake also if you ignore everything ever it's a pretty chill game :D)

8: Titian Uprising the httyd game. its fun ig im stuck right now tho

9: Animal crossing pocket camp why do i have this i havent even opened the app once

10: Dash Tag yes i played animal jam for years before im semi-quitted atm i play this when i have nothing else to play

11: 좀비고 (Zombie Highschool) first school life game i played. i havent tried the magic high school one yet. i stick to School Life cause the 판정 for hits in wonky and i rage quit multiple times

12: Flappy Dragon i forget this exists half of the time. chill game

Now entering: rhythm games category

13: Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage i hate this game sm i'd give it a 10/10 (theres been touch issues. its probably my phone though)

14: Arcaea interesting gaming experience. i suck at it

15: Phigros PHIGROS IS SO FUN AND I LOVE IT SM ITS SO ENTERTANING AND FUN ALL THE TIME THE NOTES GO WHOOSH AND BOOM AND SWOOP AND

16: Lanota I love it a lot but i havent played much cause i dont have the paid version

17: Paradigm: Reboot bro why are there notes coming from sideways WTF BRO WHY ARE THERE NOTES COMING FROM THE FUCKING CEILING

18: Voez i only played Cereberus in there. it's good game. combination of phigros and rizline kinda

19: Milthm wtf is going on where are did the judgement line (bubbles??) go what what what

20: Deemo i like the story :D its really chill. if you like piano music and also rhythm games then go play this.

21: Rizline i love it sm. i dont have full version :(

22: P.Muse my eyes died (flashing lights warning if you ever play this)

23: RhythmStar i have it just cause i like the remixed classical music into more rhythm game-y hyper music. gameplay is boring asf

24: KALPA havent touched it yet

25: Gadvia also havent touched it yet

26: MUSYNX also also havent touched it yet

gj, you escaped the rhythm gaming area!

27: Pokemon Quest it's chill. frustrating at times. i like pokemon. pokemon is my childhood. i love pokemon. i miss ketchup pack.

28: pokemon go when im outside. me when i touch grass (LIE. I WALK AROUND MY TINY APARTMENT IN CIRCLES)

29: Finch great self-care app! if you ever need a place to rant, that's the place.

30: Voidpet Garden i love the lil critters

31: I Love Hue when i have nothing, absolutely NOTHING to do

32: Tap Tap Fish i needed an afk game.

33: Bricky Boy repetitive, but if you need a quick game then yeah.

34: Zen Koi 2 very chill fish game.

35: Cardcaptor Sakura: Memory Key so. i also grew up on ccs (not as much as pokemon however. nothing can live up to what pokemon was to me.) so i was really hyped and happy when it was announced there would be a ccs game after the fandom being dead for 2ish 3ish years. my opinion? if you don't know cardcaptor sakura, you probably 99% wouldn't play it. but then again, it is early.

36: D....d..... Duolingo p..plea.....please......... dont burn my house down

[thesimulacrasimp]

So yeah, here we go again! I just watched 3rd n 4th eps of hazbin hotel so, again, my thoghts abt it. Idk if i really need to put spoilers warning anymore, but ig ill do it just in case. As with previous post there will be some screenshots.

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 3-4 SPOILERS WARNING!

So tbh i dont have much to say about 3rd ep. Overall it was a really cute ep where everyone kinda got along. Also we met alot of new overlords (that one giant wolf girl was cool as hell) n got a few bop songs. I really like all new voices we got here. Also Velvette was killin in this ep, like slay queen!! Also i didnt know this girl (idk her name srry) was Carmillas (idk if spelled the name correctly--) daughter, that really suprised me.

Ok 4th ep... I have alot to say about it. First of all when that Angels moive started i was like: WTH S GOIN ON WHAT????? Then i thoght that its Angels dream (or nightmare-) n that wolf guy was representation of Valentino. N then when its all started i was like: Oh. I get it.

Speaking about Val, when all that fire started n he opened his wings, that was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL N I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO HAVE ACTUAL WINGS, I WAS LIKE: :O I FOR REAL ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A FUR COAT--- ok n thats literally the only good i can say about Val by now.

That one awful scene with Val n Angel was literally so scary... Ive never been in SA, ive never had such "experience" (and thank GOD for that), but i know that feeling of fear when you just in trap and you cant do anything, i know how that feels to be abused, when you just hiding in corner feeling so fucking scared that you gonna get beated up n yelled again, you KNOW that will happen and you just wait for it in terrify, you literally feel yourself like a little child who cant do anything, you want to share your problems to someone, just wanna cry to someone, but you cant and you need to pretend that everything is okay. I was so scared for Angel in that scene and i really felt it. And the way Angel tried to make Charlie leave before that all happened.. Yes, he definetly knew whats gonna happen n thats so scary...

Anyway OMG VOX HIIII!!!!!! :DDDD

BTW THE FACT THAT HES HOLDING VALS HAND LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO KISS IT----- THIS SHIP IS TAKING OVER MY BRAIN PLS SEND HELP

Yeah, yknow what really strange thing about all that? Is the fact that Val s obviously a horrible person consindering all the things he done to Angel, but he is still an ENJOYABLE CHARACTER. Like- ofc that awful abusive scene was not enjoyable at all, but for some reason i just cant hate him!! I TRY BUT I JUST CANT N THATS SO WEIRD. probably its because i know its not a real person, its just a character but still-

Also (someone pls count how many times i used this word-) i really didnt expect to see an ACTUAL SEX SCENES IN THE SONG. Ig i shouldve expect it n i kinda did, but i still didnt-

Also this little scene made me fucking cry, for real. But not the fact that Angel crying made me cry, but his line: "If i end up broken, I wont be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go.."

I dont know why this exact line made me cry, but it did and i think this is awesome, because they really made me care for Angel, even tho, again, ive never experienced such feelings so i cant relate to that, but i still feel so bad for him.

Ok can we talk about that Husk was AN OVERLORD??? I WAS LIKE: WHAAAAATT????

And OF COURSE that one Husk n Angels song. You already know how i feel about it so im not even gonna talk bout it! SIKE‼️I WILL!!!!! THIS SONG IS SO FRICKIN CUTE, THE FACT THAT HUSK STARTED TO JOKINGLY (or maybe not jokingly-) SAYING THAT ANGEL IS A LOSER TO BRIGHT HIM UP IS ACTUALLY SO SMART! THEYRE BOTH SO CUTE TOGETHER SINGING AND HOLDING HANDS FOR A LITTLE TOO MUCH!!! AND THIS SONG IS MUSICALLY ALSO SO AMAZING, ITS LITERALLY MY STYLE OF SONGS, MAYBE MY NEW FAV SONG I CANT REALLY TELL RN! And the meaning of this song is really good too. Whatever is happening to you, unless youre not alone, everything is better!

Andddd everything is ended quite good and wholesome! They came to the hotel, Charlie apoligized and everything is good!!

soooo yeah! Thats it i guess! Im pretty sure im gonna edit it if i remember something else i wanted to say, but thats it by now!

My review/thoughts on eps 1-2

My review/thoughts on eps 5-6

My review/thoughts on eps 7-8

[vanillaheartzxx]

OH MY GOD SPOILERS ⚠️

(you probably know what the spoiler warning is for)

quinn’s stuff ahead! (spoilers)⚠️

i’m talking out of my ass and these are just my first thoughts i just wanted them down and i wanted to hear others opinions so here’s just everything (from first and second video)

first let me say i was a little bit more than overjoyed to know that quinn would be voiced by good boy audios (HE DID ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR) jaw dropped when i saw but in the absolute best way possible I LOVED ITTT

but i did fully believed quinn would’ve had this monotone voice (dull..?) + personality, calm but heinous. i did NOT think he would be so sadistic and vile, (up beat? like cocky, saying the most gruesome shit with a smile) like holy shit 😭

I DIDNT THINK HE’D TALK SO MUCH LITERAL SHIT EITHER

the things he said about darlin like i had to take a pause before i could keep watching, and the clock and time ticking at the end?! (and throughout the video) they probably had to spend hours in there, watching their mate and their ex talk about gruesome things that they probably never wanted sam to have to know about, just trying to help the girl.

i’m going to be honest, i thought there would be a bit mor going on, the capturing was bit anticlimactic (?), but it’s not over yet. and there’s probably something exciting still coming. (IM NOT MAD EITHER, THEY NEED PEACE IN THEIR LIVES. AND ILL BE HAPPY WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS AS LONG AS THEY ALIVE <3)

ALSO someone said he WANTED to get caught on purpose which i now believe wholeheartedly, but it obviously begs the question, WHY would he want to be captured.

the reason i think he purposely got caught was because did he REALLY just fall for the trap and get caught?? he is so old (vampire old so yk strength and ig? intelligence? wit?? idk). how did he even just GET caught? like with HIS strength? how many department members were there? and also how “happy” he sounds??

and like are they really gonna just let him rot and give him a blood forever and ever? i feel like quinn being in cage for probably eternity is just yk no real closure?(i mean sure justice) like i feel like he should just be put down, (putting it nicely) or TRY to get rehabilitated (kinda like the vega situation), but then again he’s like a master manipulator or whatever, so whatever they try to do to help probably isn’t gonna work.

and what if there is no girl and he is just trying to torture darlin, by torturing sam, with a stories about their relationship and other things they never thought would get out. (okay there probably is a girl but he’s more evil than i thought initially) and what if it’s just a trap? (and i said i didn’t like angst, i need to put these thoughts away)

and i apologize, but if i was darlin and my mate was in a room alone with my crazy ex bf who is way stronger than him, was practically torturing him by saying the most gruesome, terrible things in DETAIL, i would get fed up and just go in there. and what kind of restraints does he have in there? handcuffs? is he half fed in there?? how is he just alone with sam like sam can still get hurt. and where did david go? (ik hes busy and got his own life) maybe there’s a ward protecting sam idk.

(ALSO UHM DO U THINK THE GIRL QUINN HAS IS KAYLA GUY AND HONEY’S OLD ROOMMATE? (I LIKE THE AMANDA THEORY AND ESPECIALLY THE ALEXIS ONE, BUT JUST TAKING EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF)

anyways just needed to get everything out before the next episode, sorry a lot of questions but i hope everything goes well for them 🙏

apologies for grammar mistakes/idea repetition and things just not making sense i burned myself earlier and its 4am lmao but thank you for reading 🎀💓

[chiangyorange]

Soda stabby <3

THE WRETCHED SODA.

(v excerpts taken from chapter 6 v)

sherlockcorn: explody sody Bootyyyshaker9000: … Bootyyyshaker9000: I hate how compelling that argument is. sherlockcorn: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sherlockcorn: its finally time for that nasty cough syrup elixir to perish

first of all; they are teens, theyre gonna do stupid meaningless shit sometimes and it means SO much to me. ALSO!! presenting this implies that this isnt the first time they exploded sodas!

sherlockcorn: then i saw a pack of 12 mini bottles with a cute little cherries on them and i had to try them cause u know chchchchchcherry bomb i had to

april is gay cherry bomb is my reference to show that she is gay. thats it thats all i have to say on this.

sherlockcorn: they were cheap for a reason ig and now ive just been waiting for an excuse to get rid of them sherlockcorn: they haunt my dorm sherlockcorn: so now they DIE

april had been HAUNTED by these sodas and ofc, like any friend group, when you discover the most heinous shit ever, you make it everyone else's problem too to share the burden of knowledge.

then the actual sodie splosions

NeonLeon: [video description: Mikey is seen standing away from the camera in a darkly lit parking lot at night. He is holding his arms up and behind him with a bottle of soda in his hands. Leo’s voice is heard, “Okay go!” Mikey throws the soda down hard on the concrete. It bounces two times before the neck of the bottle breaks and soda burst out of it, making the bottle spin more times. Surprised shouts are heard when the bottle spins towards the camera. /end video description]

leo has always been mikey's hypeman and its SO endearing to me. THATS HIS LITTLE BROTHER!!!!! HE CARES ABT HIM SO MUCH!!!!! and gah. GAH. when the older sibling lets you do something cool instead of them that literally means the fucking world are you kidding me?

esp with how much mikey looks up to leo, this moment is saying "i am good enough to do this dumb stupid shit because if i do thisi dumb stupid shit im more like my brother and i love my brother"

ILL CRYYYYYYYY

green2: A story in 3 pics green2: [image id: A picture of the same dark parking lot from the previous video. In the dark, two eyes are seen reflected from the distance. /end id] green2: [image id: An open soda bottle is thrown at the eyes, the liquid visibly spilling out of the neck. The picture is blurry with motion. /end id] green2: [image id: Leonardo is standing in the view of the camera with eyes closed. There is soda splashed on his face, neck, and shoulders. /end id] 

fleo unintentionally scaring the kids and being immediately punished by having soda thrown on him is fucking hilarious to me but other than that, he was checking up on them!

its late at night and while splinter is used to the late night teenage shenanigans, fleo ISNT. casey jr is a good boy and i dont rlly personally imagine him as being the type to go out alone and fuck around during the apocalypse, and its a habit the present teens are trying to slowly break out of him.

so obviously, fleo would kiiiiinda get worried about where the teens were so late at night and went out to check on them after asking splints and checking on casey sleeping in the lair

Bootyyyshaker9000: [video description: Leonardo is sitting down with April standing in front of him opening a 16 ounce soda bottle. April says, “Smell first.” and offers the bottle to Leonardo. He takes the bottle in hand and sniffs, immediately backing away with a scrunched face.  “That is not soda, this is a chemical.” he replies. April faces the camera and looks off screen with a pointed look while Leonardo pauses and takes a tentative sip while she is turned away. Leonardo sputters and coughs, doubling over himself. The bottle crushes in his hands and the soda spills all over the concrete. April backs away quickly with a yelp. /end video description]

fleo is still a leo and hes not immune to getting stupid ideas.

sherlockcorn: [image id: a pocket knife is stabbed through a soda bottle right through the middle. The soda inside is leaking out. Donnie is seen in the background looking at something off camera with a soda in hand. /end id] sherlockcorn: nasty soda die <3

sometimes people dont write april unhinged enough and im personally fixing that /lh

no but fr this is a girl who canonically has a canoe and hazmat suit ON HAND. IN NEW YORK.

queen shit

i love her so much she means the world to me. blunt weapon wielders hold a special place in my heart and they just hit different. LITERALLY!!!!!

[alitgblog]

S9 Vol 3 thoughts: everyone's so hot and I'm so upset it's still ex talk

I do like you get the option to tell all the girls "oh I'm picking a guy to come back for yall, don't worry" and then afterwards Chen comes out with all the guys and his "I've got this" thing. And then he has the audacity to be like "Nooo I wish I was on a date with you" and MC can say "Oh don't worry.. I've got this 😘" Like the dialogue certainly has its moments this season, like no wonder why MC is such an iconic all star

Just like everyone else, I would in fact like the Kat and Finn drama to hurry up and come to a close, but they're so obsessed with each other. I need Kat to actually couple up with a new guy please.

GRACE my beloved 🫶🫶

No it's such a shame though she's just a host because first of all, why have a host for dates?? like make her a host of a challenge if anything and then we can see her banter with Hamish and make him nervous. But also, like come on she didn't stay with Ozzy/Marshall of course, let her back on as another islander. And like I'm okay if she's again the token straight girl in the villa, like we need a friend out here.

I've already made my post about Jude, but the date was cute too. Lyle also very attractive AND a musician 😍. They make it so hard, and after one date I'm kind of sad we have to see one of them go. Waste of a sprite. I'm hoping the one you don't pick comes back at the end for Kat, since she does say the other guy is her type later on in the dressing room. And also I just need better for Kat than her to be stuck where she was after S5 with Finn.

I picked Jude because tbh they were about even for me but for the sake of my MC's story I just imagine she doesn't wanna settle down in Paris, so that's why she picked Jude. but ohhh the sad eyes 😞

Then in comes Kelly and she's still such a stunner dear goddd help me

This is why she was the face of the app after being in the villa one episode

"you and Finn are enough exes for this villa" yeah, hard agree. This is like when that theory came up before double trouble that everyone was gonna be a twin that season but it's real and it's not twins it's exes 💀

There was a chat with Finn, and I'm glad they made it clear early on he was interested so it wasn't dragged out until the very end like in S5 (although I will say I was pleasantly surprised when it happened in S5) and it was a cute chat. A lot of exposition though for MC's season lol? Like thanks for letting me know actually, I didn't know that I kissed someone in Casa, thanks for bringing that up sooo organically in this conversation. ig at least it's in character for him to be stuck in the past 🫠

I'm a little upset that we got Chen's ex instead of MC's, especially after he did already make it clear like nothing was really happening with his ex versus MC and Stefan clearly have some history to resolve. And I just wanted the ex talk to stop, but I'm thinking probably not until Casa (or around when Casa usually happens) that he's gonna show up. Hopefully by then, Kat and Finn will be resolved so we don't deal with all the exes at once. And also so for people on a Finn route, then this is fun because the roles will be reversed with Stefan is around taking MC's attention.

But even the letter thing got dragged on for soooo long even though it was only mentioned for two episodes. But again, means nothing considering it was just some girl Chen had dated. I don't know if it hits differently if you're with Henri, because his whole thing was he got serious really fast and then his ex jumped ship, so that sounds like the letter would be more impactful if she's apologizing. But I have a feeling they made it interchangeable. Which is why it's so weird everyone treated it so serious, when even Natasha named two other possible exes for Chen before the girl it actually was (which, admittedly, thats a hilarious bit).

it annoyed me they're trying to shame me into paying for chen's backstory now?? like this is the vibes of early seasons when you didn't have a gem outfit and the girls would be like you look like trash, girl.

Back to Kelly though, I have mixed feelings about her and Finn drama. My first thought is that it's interesting. I like that they're friends but she has caught feelings for him and doesn't know how he'll react and she's afraid of blowing up their friendship. Now with the added bonus of him still not being over Kat, but (barely) trying to move on in Love Island. That's a fun dynamic and I get the sense that Finn doesn't feel the same, and it's gonna be a real rough time comforting Kelly when he breaks her heart. But I also think it doesn't make sense. Like I kind of wish they weren't friends and just that she'd seen him at a few Love Island related events and they catered for a few parties together since they're both in Dublin and run in similar circles, so they're like not close friends, but definitely acquainted. That way it's more believable that they didn't know the other was coming back to Love Island and give Kelly more of an excuse for why she wouldn't reveal her feelings to Finn before coming back on the show. and also just make the stakes less dramatic because Kelly is also an LI, but she kinda treats MC like a second choice to Finn, and I think making them less close would help a little. Like she's attracted to him and they have a little prior friendship, but she's also very into MC versus Kelly has been pining over her friend Finn for quite some time.

On a similar note, I don't understand why Kat is so obsessed with Finn if she says she's over him and she ended things. Like you'd think despite them being coupled up, she'd just go for Hamish or Henri or any other guy after making snarky comments about him all day long. But she ALSO has to actively be upset at anyone making moves on him, and that's where they lose me. And they try to fix it by saying Kat is looking out for the girls, but if she was, then why not mention the cheating earlier? Once again, it's S5 vibes in the worst way 😑

also Finn? a cheater??? Finn from the shower scene in S5?? a cheater?? noooo no way 🙄

but back to actual gameplay: we go to truth or dare and it's a mess, I feel like they don't know the rules

Yet another banger line from Hamish though, like this is exactly the type of shitty joke I'd make

Getting to elbow Kat and kiss Finn may be the highlight of the whole volume for me ngl, even though he continues to admit he's still hung up on her (I guess a reasonable response to getting ghosted but still)

Fuck I forgot about Henri and his triangle with Chen and MC from last volume wasn't even fully resolved really. His plot was lost to the new guys again, go join Hari on the bench. So him showing up mid truth or dare was very funny to me, like I thought he WAS taking asleep lmao

I love a gem choice as much as the next person (which is not at all) but I am okay with the gem choice during truth or dare solely because I'm so indecisive I was like I can't pick which of them is the most attractive. Like actually they all are.

And here we got again with Melissa antagonizing MC for no reason. Then she brings up that it's Natasha's fault for some reason and that's supposed to be dramatic even though Natasha has BEEN saying that Stefan is MC's one that got away.

And I'm not a fan of pitting women against each other, especially the two WOC, but I do like that they had some beef briefly and it's not about a guy. Like it's nice to have characters that don't get along like that, and then they do come back and say they've resolved their differences but clearly aren't friends and that's okay.

this line made me laugh a little though especially after Melissa's very cheery we're all good now!! thing

and it's a recoupling next volume so we know what that means (goodbye to individuality for Henri, Chen, and Jude/Lyle, their routes are merging 🥲)

but yeah overall the volumes so far are not bad but just kinda meh. I think droning on about ex talk is draining the fun bits and the romance parts of the episodes. 9r maybe there was just way too high expectations coming from me idk. I enjoy the drama between other characters but it feels very removed from MC and she doesn't get a chance really to involve herself like S2 MC. And like MC has some drama herself, but it feels like we the player have less agency in causing it or even fixing it, so that's maybe been the problem recently.

still gonna play the season lmaooo I gotta know what Stefan and Cassius look like 🤣

I'm just a little less excited each week tha I was for s8 lol