#thats what happened if youre not privileged lol

[minsarasarahair]

Xin Baicao: "You look like you're having the world's best delicacy. I took a bite and it was just a pickled vegetables so salty that it could kill a cow. And the cheapest liquor sold in the town ahead. Yet you actually enjoyed them a lot." Sikong Changfeng: "If you were nearly starved to death once, you'd be forever grateful of every kind of food in this world."

MY SON IS BACK LET'S GOOOO!!!

[raitnrong]

fucking misogynist

is this abt the frat post? how is it misogynistic to say i can't interact w fratboys the same way guys do? :/

[toytulini]

lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny

[malwaredykes]

leigh and cat rambles

thinking about. the fact that leigh was NOT used to being treated kindly or gently, or being looked after, or being cared for. shed just never gotten much warmth from anyone all her life, didnt really have friends or anyone who appreciated her presence more than in very fleeting superficial ways. she had been generally just left alone to figure things out on her own (which definitely contributed to a lot of her idiosyncrasies and her ways of assessing situations or her own behaviors). she had a very shaky idea of who she was or who she couldve been to other people, aside from like. someone to get things done when asked, someone who makes themselves useful.

and im thinking about how much it sucked for her to have to travel from goodsprings to primm to the mojave outpost to nipton to novac all alone--its not that she wasnt used to traveling by herself, after all she was a courier, but like. she had just been Shot In The Head. she was sore and confused and Torn Away From Her Own Sense Of Self and basically got a free partial lobotomy and a bunch of symptoms she had trouble dealing with (especially the seizures, scary stuff, knowing it could happen at any moment and there wouldnt be anyone to make sure she was okay). she was sleep deprived and broke and had to painstakingly remind herself how to do stuff like mend her gear, make food, use her weapon properly etc. she knew she couldve stayed in goodsprings for a while longer to recover, or stopped in primm or at the outpost, but she just didn't feel welcome. regardless of how people actually reacted to her presence, she just felt that she wasn't wanted or welcome, and the only ways she could exercise the degree of "selfishness" thats necessary for survival was to, yknow, steal shit. the vast majority of what she had on her by the time she got to novac she'd stolen lol. change of clothes, personal hygiene items, first aid essentials, the damn pot to cook things in, etc. obviously most of it was stuff that people wouldve shared with her if she'd asked, but You Try Getting Her To Ask.

thing is despite all of that sort of life experience she wasnt ever the, yknow, Hrngh Everyone Has To Survive On Their Own, Its A Dog-Eat-Dog World, Cant Rely On Others type. she always believed it was all about community and helping one another and contributing to the collective good. not even in a We Instinctively Need One Another As Human Beings way, just that its sensible and effective. its just that she didnt really get to have that like most others did. she watched it all from a distance. she contributed if she could, but knew not to expect much in return. at some point it became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy really, but like, it was just How Things Were to her, it hardly even registered as anything irregular. it was just sort of obvious. she wasnt getting much of anything from people and it was wrong of her to ask

all that is to say it was kind of crazy to her when boone was just like. nice to her. not outwardly warm or anything obviously (i mean its boone. specifically freshly widowed pre-transition boone), and she did ask leigh for help with something, but leigh did pick up on that it was at that point out of sheer desperation and helplessness and having no one around to turn to. which, i mean, Leigh Was Familiar With The Experience. but with that out of the way boone was. nice to her. didnt do pleasantries, just like. made her some food. gave her clothes a wash (washing machine privilege...). and then decided to travel with her, and turned out to be eager to keep leigh safe and for them to have each others back. crazy stuff for leigh. like Whats going on. This Rules.

leigh got kind of overly excited there actually akdhncksfhdj like it made her a little bit hyper initially. high on Nice To Her. omg omg boone lets check out gibsons scrap yard omg can you show me how to use a rifle omg whats your favorite food!! bit too intense for boone, You Are Overstimulated And Cannot Hang. leigh quickly settled down and apologized a bunch but boone was like Why are you apologizing its fine im just not good at this kinda stuff and im Still Not In A Great Mood Due To Recent Events. that too was crazy to leigh like Wait so im not irritating and off-putting and Too Much? you Dont want me to shut up and leave you alone?? and boone was like What. No.

so yeah. it was significant, it felt significant. and clearly it was mutual, cuz boone was ride or die for her pretty much from the beginning. Boone Will Now Die For You. but yeah, it was a Connection. something nice and unexpected and kind of weird to process at first, but they both felt secure in it and quickly grew to be very comfortable around each other. Warriors Bond. leigh just felt really tender about the whole thing. I Really Like You, I Really Trust You. even when they discovered some uhh disagreeable things about each other, that didnt change.

also i mean theres the fact that leigh was the first out trans woman boone had ever even spoken to. so boone was like Waow.... Something About Her Makes Me Feel Like If I Follow Her I Will End Up Where Im Supposed To Be. Which Could Mean Nothing

[youremyheaven]

we’ve touched on wealth indicators in the chart before but i was wondering if you had any thoughts on indicators for financially struggling in life? personally i’ve observed ketu in the 2nd house of the d1 of ppl with these circumstances but of course i don’t want to fear monger and say you’re doomed for certain if you have this but this is personally what i’ve seen reoccurring. do you have any observations on this?

this may be a bit obvious or ridiculous but Claire mentioned how naks like Jyeshta, Mula (or Ketu naks in general) are internally scarce and come from a place of lack so they work reallyyyy hard to accumulate wealth and I can see the logic in it but I also feel like sometimes the themes of naks manifest very literally and many of these individuals struggle with their finances a lot.

All of the Jyeshtas I know irl have had a really broke phase or have struggled with money their whole life.

I don't think the presence of one nak alone can impact whether or not you'll be rich or poor bc your whole chart has to be balanced to accumulate wealth but I feel like Lunar individuals also struggle with money, work, motivation etc because they lack that internal hunger/fire to make shit happen.

Also its imp to understand that "wealth" is a relative concept. I guess we can technically say that if someone's a millionaire, then they're wealthy but I have a Jyeshta uncle who never finished his education, never had a real job and still lives comfortably. He is by no means RICH but he has most of what he needs (from his generational inheritance).

Before you say that "okay anyone can live off of their family's money" I promise you, thats not true. You have to have a really strong chart to "enjoy" wealth, whether its inherited or accumulated. The people who make $10 million a year but work 100+ hours a week aren't "enjoying" their wealth,, many children born into wealthy families often end up not finishing their education, addicted to substances, going broke, not having a good relationship with their family etc,, not everybody who is born into money can or will benefit from it.

So making money/coming from money ≠ to "enjoying" the benefits and privileges of it.

I have some relatives who are immensely rich, they own commercial properties that are leased to 5 star hotels all over India, they own residential buildings, they make more money than some small countries lol but of their 3 children, one of them died of an overdose in college, their only daughter is a manglik whose fiancee and brother died in a car crash and she's now in her late 40s and has no contact with the outside world and has completely devoted herself to religion, and their last son is a flop actor who starred in some D list films.

Karma and destiny etc are very interesting. What guarantees wealth does not guarantee its enjoyment or a good quality of life. Blessed are those who live with contentment and have all their needs and indulgences met and have peace of mind.

[wuntrum]

hey, sorry if this is like too personal, but I just toured MECAD and saw some of your art there, and I was wondering what your experience there was like? I'm trying to make college decisions but they didn't really go over what student life was like? thank you!!

hey! thats wild, i didnt realize they show some of my art during those tours 😭 (or maybe i did and i just forgot lol) my experience there was generally good, though take that with a grain of salt because there's soooo many factors at play that'll make or break your experience. i know a bunch of people who hated it there and wish they had never gone (whether they dropped out first semester or finished their degree, for whatever reason), but i also know a lot of people who really enjoyed it!

it was the right fit for me, personally--i grew up in a small town and a small highschool, so i wanted a college where the student body wasn't too big, i like knowing the people around me, even if i dont like them lol. and i had fine-> great roommates all throughout, i know a looooot of people who's experience was negatively impacted by the roommates they were assigned. i'm also privileged because i'm white and able bodied so, i know experiences i've heard from poc and disabled friends that weren't great (though, again, all of these sorts of things are not MECA exclusive, they can happen anywhere). i'm also just generally an easy going and friendly person so, i personally didn't have an issue making friends, i met so many great people in my time there. i had a couple not-great professors, but a lot of great ones! i'd say i'm doing alright in a professional artist sense, but i also know a lot of people who were sort of failed by the curriculum, and are still trying to rebuild their relationship w art to this day

i'd be happy to answer any more specific questions, but yeah, any sort of college experience is a mixed bag honestly! theres other factors involved too, especially the cost...i hesitate to give a glowing or overly negative review because the experience really does vary a lot from person to person

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

66.7512 meters episode!!!

i think i broke his heart! oh well!!!! ÑLKÑLK ruby y are u so happy about this all the time skfljdks1 (waiting for the karmic writing where someone breaks *her* heart....). tbh also very doctor-like. they are *so* unhinged

i was looking for some Spin-off foreshadowing in this war between land and sea business but best i've got is that... it will probably be set in wales ksdlfj

nuclear war is hilarious. fiften u are not all right.

That's the most bizarre "circle" ive ever seen. if anything is the orthogonal projection of a geodesic dome.

"A pee around the back"…….. dr pee foreshadowing

AESOP #1: children, when u are doing "off the road tourism", don't disturb sacred sites

susan twist's "thing" is just gonna be: "take revenge from being killed so many times". like she's just red-shirting all over the place (maybe it's gonna be a bit of meta commentary of the high body count of this show? that it's all for our sadistic pleasure but doesn't always have real significance skfldj)

I guess inflation is a recurring theme this season?

liminal spaaaace

"and then there's the blood""w-what blood?" i laughed ngl sksksk

the different color fonts in iplayer are a bit distracting tbh…...

ah yes. welsh racism...

hmmm… runy sitting in the chair... to wait in front of the tardis... "The one who waits?"

Thats' what men do skdksk love me some "Intergalactic fuck boy" subtext being voice and made text

Poor ruby ):

it's about the [metaphor for being stigmatized]!!!

Ohh the doctor was the first to disappear by the curse, maybe?

"even ur real mother didnt want u" Bro this monster is so mean wtf Kate!!!

AGAINST HIM, SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!! Antagonist kate be coming!!!

"well, that's classified"

This timeline might be suspended along ur event???

WE INVENT THE RULES AND MAKE THEM WORK!!! THEMES!! YOU HAVE TO COUNT EVERY GRAIN OF SALT!!! IT'S THE GAME THEME CONNECTING TO THE SUPERSTITION THEME!!!!!!!!

theeeemes

the more unit gets competent the more sinister they become

her going "cheers!" to her personal satan. i love u ruby

FUCK YEAH. ICON. GO KILL THE PRIME.MINISTER

...only guys in ruby's little montage ]: im heartbroken T.T rip the x5 times wlw companions streak dream it seems

"except the bed thing that was u" narrator voice: it wasnt

"Which is what?" KILL THE PM KILL THE PM DO IT ICON

Rtd connected to the universe skskdk oh beautiful synergy

[also literally how Y&Y starts... ]

"No more" feels loaded/intentional here, considering how it's been used before as an Important Phrase is War's arc.

the emo advisor guy intrigues me

Ruby having to solve this whole thing + cold war vibes.... mmm very ace coded

[lol @ soc dem / liberal writers being so scared of "populism" and "the dumbness of crowds". peak soc dem / liberal] [what is a "political allegory story" by a soc dem without the punchline being that "I think The People are really fucking Stupid actually"] [i do enjoy the side point of british politicians being so desperate for relevancy that they fire nuclear missiles for the fun of it. yeah… that tracks]

[lol becoming independent from nato being a bad thing. lol #"fucklybia!!"#signed:thisepisode]

the directing is very fun in this

Ruby get on your feets and make it happen

She's gonna say u forgot to say hi to this lady

ruby's asking to be shot again sksks

Iris u say…........ eyes emoji

[ok but also. lol not to go " ah, peak liberal again!" but lol. this resolution is peak liberal [ie. fundamentally antidemocratic, a few 1% technocrats (obvs, privileged and from the global north) with the answers "know what's best"]. this lad may have been crazy but they voted for him for a reason that "the system" wasnt providing.but in typical soc dem fashion they can't ever fight the fascists on The Real Deal ie. strength of a proposed political project + material gains resulted from those political projects + committing to real system change, so they have to scramble for antidemocratic solutions like [timey wimey prisons] to ""fight facism""" (ie not fighting it at all and by proxy, just making the fucking cockroaches stronger each "election cycle" because they can't fight them in a meaningful, political sense) bc the people are just too stupid!!! and this is why democracy was a mistake!!!!!!! ... sigh rtd. oh well good thing i didn't expect more on this front tbh sdlkjfdsd in that sense the s1-s4 rewatch prepared me well lol]

clara vibes in this ep in a lot of moments (old!ruby, sort of "mausoleum tardis", etc)

"i didnt travel with him long..." "but it felt like a lifetime" became literal…

"Everyone has abandoned me my whole life" T_T

AESOP #2: kids u are never alone <3 u always have ur inner demons :) and the unrelenting spectra of death~

There's always something a bit unsatisfying about self closing paradoxes... kinda like "oh it was all a dream so it didnt matter". but i think in this one it was crunchy enough with other things that i think it was balanced.

Very turn left-y ending! CONCLUSIONS!! people kept saying in the press this episode was gonna be "super scary" tbh i just found it.... profoundly sad sdxkljflkfj ruby's life just *screams* "missing the important bits by focusing on the unimportant" and "obsessing over things that don't matter" and "companion becomes detached from real life to the point they become super unhinged and callous" ("im sorry i couldn't help you marti")

(c+p some stuff i put on a discord): tbh i rolled my eyes at the political stuff but i don't think im even mad about it this time lol (too tired irl to get properly angry at doctor who these days ig)

anyway i dont think the political stuff is what it was really "about". i found this story very moving on what it was (imo) rlly about: ruby's fear and experience of being abandoned and also the general "fear of approaching death"

and obvs a bit of other emotional beats that are more specific to doctor who's long running stories: like the doctor "always does this" ie leaves everyone of his friends behind and there's the lingering tragedy that this will happen, as well, to ruby inevitably, then also both ruby and the doc becoming 'detached' from real life (ruby basically never investing anything in those relationships w/ those guys bc she was 'absorbed' by this mystery /clearly a parallel to her being absorbed by her parental origin) and also how tourists cant watch where they step / the doctor and co arent always respectful to the 'silly traditions' of the places they visit (tbh excellent bc to overcome my "this show has the white man's burden' engraved in its dna" meta... the show is gonna have to keep making story like and like Demons of Punjab for at least 3 more decades lol) (basically tldr i think it fumbled the politics stuff but it was rlly crunchy where it mattered. also, ....... i think this pretty much confirms that ruby isn't her own mother / the person who let herself at the door step in Christmas, right??? like rtd had said was the short story he had concocted years ago, and was the insp for this... but he kinda used up that trick here… so it must be something/someone else, right?) (another thing: ruby going "i used to be able to make it snow" made smth click....... ---> if ruby's whole focus rn seems to be about "the mystery", and this quest seems to be not only something she *needs* but also something that like... means joy and adventure, and traveling with the doctor... when she finds out the Truth,,, that probably means all the whimsy in her life will go away? (so she may come to a point where she Doesn't want to know Actually (which would be very "thirteen regretting throwing away the watch" realness mirror again)

[blkkizzat]

Hey pookieeeee do you have any advice for heartbreak? And can I vent a little and ask for your advice? :]

I never expected it to hurt as much as it does, but in the end, it was half my fault for believing in his empty promises. I called it from the start that this would happen. I knew yet I still said yes. It was a long-distant relationship, and I told him the stakes were high, but he promised over and over that he wouldn't leave me. That I would be the one to do it before he ever does it. I let my guard down for him to break my heart. :(

I can't seem to get my mind off it, and it hasn't even been 24 hours. It just hurts so much. I'm just waiting for his "Let's break up" text. It's not official yet until he says it, but I can sense that it's coming. And I'm just wishing he would stay. I don't know what to do, kind of? Like he took such a big part of me, I don't know how to feel or act anymore. Like I lost myself? Any advice for me? :((((

awe babes i'm so sorry! don't feel bad either its only been 24hrs! that is totally normal why you would still be thinking about it constantly.

But I think there's a few key things here to keep in mind.

1) Nothing is final until its final. You may feel like its coming but you haven't broken up yet. It's unfair (to him but mostly yourself cause its easy to drive yourself crazy with worry) to assume what he will or won't do. 2) If he does break up with you, if you think he would do it over TEXT of all things, than he's no good anyway. Lol thinking back of that old Youtube spoof but the rule is: you dont text msg breakup. Thats a piece of shit move and you deserve way better than someone who would be that cold!

3) Have you heard "lifetime, season or reason" in terms of relationships? Basically, no matter the length of time a person (any relationship not just romantic) is in your life. Every relationship you have will have purpose in your life and a lesson or lessons you can grow from. Not to be morbid but nothing lasts forever, I'm not speaking only of breakups either as even two people committed to each other for their entire lives will eventually have to say goodbye when either passes away. That's why it's not the end of a relationship that's important but what you can take away from the relationship, how you will continue to grow and evolve as a person that matters. Even a toxic abusive relationship can teach you the value of your worth and make you a stronger person on the other side (that isnt to say you should stay in one obviously but that there can be benefits and lessons to everything). So if your relationship with him does end look at it in terms of "these were the qualities/moments i liked and these are want i didn't and from that how does this change what I am looking for in my next relationship."

4) You are still you! You were you before you met him, while you were with him and you will be you after, if you break up. You do give pieces of yourself to partners in relationships but you have the power and agency to take that back. It isn't there's to keep, loving someone is a privilege and if someone violates trust or cannot treat you with the love and respect you deserve then it is your right to take it back. Of course it will hurt, and it won't be easy but honestly its better to break it off as you the person you are with should be tripping over themselves with enthusiasm to be with you.

5) If you do breakup, the best thing is to go cold turkey. I am not sure about if you share friend groups or how awkward it would be to block or remove him from social media/text/call, but if you can do that do that. It doesnt sound like you will be able to remain friends without it being hurtful to you and if he breaks up with you, he doesnt deserve to downgrade you so he can have all the emotional support of a romantic relationship without the responsibility or commitment cause essentially thats what the dynamic will be. You will never be able to be normal friends when a one sided breakup happens.

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

how do you imagine zan interacting with each of the dream friends? sorry if thats a question thats asking for a lot.

never apologize for wanting me to write an essay regarding zan partizanne i would do that for a living if i could

nyways luckily zans the one responsible for announcing n showing off the dream friends on twitter so we can have some idea ! of that ! kinda ! as a base !

(note:ive previously answered regarding her feelings on marx, susie n magolor here! so i wont touch on them for this one)

animal trio:its her most brief tweet regarding the announced characters, so i dont think she rly has any thoughts on them ? she doesnt even bother w a nickname, so i imagine shes just neutral on them, lightly bothered rick n kine r notorious for slacking, maybe looks down on them a bit in a "wow my trio is sm professional n stronger than yours." way

gooey:gooey, along side void n the other generals, r the only characters who get nice nickname privileges from zan, in gooeys case v likely she recognized him as part of dark matter n immediately went for expressing appreciation for his holy existence in her peculiar little way (i recall someone pointing out zan has three naming ways for ppl:derogatory, cutesy affectionate n Extreme Respect By Using Full Name.not related just silly aside), i think shes Very Appreciative of gooey n therefore rly affectionate towards him but shes also rly religious abt him.like if a christian met jesus on the street.btw being gooey must be crazy yk nothing abt yourself or your origin n then you find out theres a cult for your species w sacrifices

adeleine/ribbon:throughout her tweets zan.rly goes in on insulting adeleine.like yeah her hairline comments but she keeps bringing up how adeleine seems weak n hides like a little girl (SHES LIKE 12 SHE IS A LITTLE GIRL!!!) n while zan usually atleast acknowledges others fighting skills before claiming shes better, for adeleine she instead insists on constantly bringing her down anyways even when shes surprised at her having a new skill, n her last tweet is literally "hah, im looking forward to facing you!" after commenting ado n ribbon r dancing around adorably, basically she seems to.lowkey hate her LMAO? the adeleine tweets r sooo important to characterizing zan constantly challenging ppl tho !!! she prides her own strength (she even calls herself a battle hardened warrior) a lot n constantly wants to prove it, n hates what she sees as weak or cowardly to the point she seems to lowkey want to teach ppl like that a lesson? so yeah no she has some weird personal one sided beef w adeleine that ado is prob so confused abt, she actually seems to ignore ribbon in her tweets so i imagine she just thinks of her as some extra to ado than a partner to take seriously

honestly shes prob projecting some stuff but thats another post n this is long enough of a paragraph already lol

DMK:not much on the tweets aside from the usual "I CAN BEAT YOU UP" (btw she sounds a bit excited abt it? shes so cute) i dont think she has much interest in him beyond "sounds fun to beat up".shed probably lose btw bc an essential part of zans ego is she does not realize her boss fight is designed to have safe spots bc shes not actually that good at this 🩷

daroach:she doesnt have much to comment but does compare daroachs leadership style to her own, knowing her shes prob gonna get competitive abt that, i cannot see daroach caring back beyond being annoying abt it for fun lol

taranza:so this one is fun bc i think taranza sympathizes w her quite a bit, yk whole "you ever absolutely adore your evil boss n they could not give less of a shit back?" n so he thinks he can help smooth the way into acceptance of trauma bc he did it by himself so he can help n itll be less lonely n hard if he does! n like.its coming from a good place! he rly does want to help.but ultimately their situations r crucially different in what ended up happening (sectonia died n taranza could tell when enough was enough, hyness survived n zan has.no awareness his behavior was bad shes in full acceptance he can treat her like that if he wants to) so what ends up happening is he just gets on her nerves. a lot.bc shes absolutely not anywhere near where taranza started after sectonia died, zan in the tweets acknowledges the similarities between them withhhhh no awareness of what happened to taranza after n honestly knowing her...ego problems shed probably think "what actually happened is you were not good enough, when i would fail lord hyness always found a way to still make me useful.i am simply better than you n you refuse to see it." taranza by some miracle still tries to atleast be friendly w her.he rly does want to help n be there when he can man

[moonstruckme]

hi mae! how are u babe? so just had my grad party yesterday (what!!!!) it feels so unreal and i didn’t process it til the next morning thats when i started crying LOL i jist felt so so grateful to have had a good education yk? sometimes we get so stuck in the Ugh! i hate school and tests! that we don’t remember how much of a privilege it is but im also so terrified of the future too. im going into my first year as a cs major soon :)

anyway hope job hunting ends well! i actually heard the job market starts picking up in september/October and that its usually harder to get a job at this time of the year.. i wish u the best of luck!

Hi lovely! I'm good, I slept in a bit today so I feel weird but it's not not nice! Congratulations on graduating and your party!!!! I think I know the feeling you mean, it's so surreal to have these big life events just happen and they never feel as monumental in the moment as you think they should, but I'm glad you got a party and all that closure. CS--omg! You're one of our strongest soldiers for sure, but if you're genuinely interested in it I'm sure it won't feel like too much work. And yeah I've heard that too, there are honestly so many factors that people keep telling me about that basically boil down to "you were incredibly idealistic thinking you'd be able to get a job right out of school" but I'm very lucky to have a place to stay while I keep searching and I'm hoping that things get a bit easier when the new fiscal year starts in late September! Thank you lovely and best of luck in this next step in your education :))

[burning-sol]

me hc'ing pcs relationship to makeup:

gillion tidestrider, he didnt rlly wear makeup in the undersea and has internalised that but he would happily wear makeup if offered, like god someone PLEASE givr him permission. just make sure that its suitable for a triton though.

jay ferin, she's great with stuff like clown makeup and sfx. if she tries normal makeup looks she will mess it up and start cussing tho.

chip, he used to use makeup but with the bandana he doesnt now lol. anyways he's not perfect but DAMN he's better than u would expect. he refuses to elaborate on how he got so good at it (he's just very insecure abt his appearance okay).

goobleck, bbg eats that shit.

ashe winters, she literally had all the time in the world to practice at home she's SO fucking good at it. she consumes makeup tutorials like nobody's business. makeup QUEEN.

william wisp, he applies so much black eyeshadow n stuff. its in his bonez. really good with stuff relating to nail polish and all that. after meeting ashe he started to get more ambitious with his makeup, up until what happened. then he started wearing MORE black makeup and then even MORE after realising he has no blood. after gaining a new heart she's started wearing warmer makeup with more reds, and also doing more horror-esque looks. uhhh i guess basically she changes her makeup a lot depending on how she's feeling and what's happening.

dakota cole, not interested. might have some internalised feelings of thinking it makes him look less genuine or faker somehow. and gender issues.

vyncent sol, id have to think more abt whether the cat boy would wear makeup.

kian stone, prolific in it babes check him out she's rocking it. LOVES doing drag makeup. fuck yeah!!

rand, makeup would probably require him to clean himself up which is already too much to ask of him.

rolan, he likes when ppl do his makeup for him but probably doesnt really wear it otherwise. too scared to wear makeup in public most of the time. big fan of all the drag he's seen.

thanatos, um. i mean. yeah. i mean he's a robot. peter can paint him?? if he wants??? nobody else though its an exclusive peter privilege.

peter, okay i think he'd be decent at it but his REAL passion is face painting. let him draw a lizard on your cheek right fucking now.

rumi, they actually suck at makeup so bad holy shit all they do is magically sparkle don't fucking ask them to do makeup.

exandroth, she doesnt need makeup he think he looks great (it HATES it the sensory issues god no dont put anything on him girl wasnt built for this)

aster aeliana, she's really good with makeup but dislikes wearing it. merely performing her stereotypical girl duties.

ryan selucreh, he will do whatever the group's doing bro.

connor connors, hmhmhm u know what he's already seen as a loser he would sorta know how to use makeup and wear it while he's out and about. already a con-erd right? not very commited to it tho, its just a hobby.

cherry blossom, she would never

aren auguste, "no thats gay"

jebediah lightbringer, no except him and brian have matching nail polish cause you know how it is homos.

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

[nerdyenby]

Blue time :D I’m watching Aimsey

Pregame

Oh my goodness their costume is so swag

“As you can see, I can’t” HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE AIMSEYTV???

I’m watching in my university’s library but I burst out laughing when xe took off her glasses, my goodness they’re so silly <333

“Grandpa’s first tweet” HE NEEDS TO STOP IM DYING

“I can’t see, this is gonna be awful, I’m so excited!!” I love them so much

This is way funnier considering I know absolutely nothing about Adventure Time

Skipping to the actual event lol

Shelby <333 I’m so excited for Aimsey and Shelby interactions this event :)))

Elaina jointing the vc at the worst possible moment lmao

“I’m a little bit of a grid runner” fbm is so cool /g

Holy crap I’ve never heard Shelby say fuck before, I wasn’t prepared

Parkour Tag

I love this team’s energy

“And if we win, we can laugh at them”

I love them so much, the hype, the positivity, the humor is everything

YEAAHHHHHH aimsey and shane surviving???? Hype!!!!

Rocket Spleef

Aimsey popping off!!! Can’t believe he only learned how to elytra hop a couple hours before the event, she’s doing great!!

Sands of Time

They were all so upset, stars should’ve called them transphobic, do it

The blue key is under the hourglass Shane ;-;

He figured it out don’t worry

Aimsey’s comms are supreme, I’m so proud of xem <33

Legit, dunking the last place team is such bm

I’m so glad they’re all hyping Aimsey up, she was having such a time but this team has superb synergy <333

Sky Battle

“It is a great day to be on blue bats, we have gotten every game we don’t want” “Ohana means family” HELP??????? SHANE 😭

You’re doing amazing Aimsey, you’re incredible and handling your overload with such grace. If you somehow see this I want you to know that you should never be ashamed to stim on stream, it makes me and so many others feel normal and even watching it is so calming, we love you so much king <333

“Is anyone good at bridging?” “No!!” “Firebreath, are you good at bridging?” “NO, it’s the only thing I’m not good at” peak comedy, honestly (also we love a man who owns both his strengths and his weaknesses <3)

Aimsey killed 3 people?!!!! THATS MY STREAMER

SHANE POPPED OFF HOLY CRAP!!!!

BLUE BATS FIRST PLACE <33333

Wow I can’t believe Aimsey is exploiting best friend privileges, smh /j

The absolute property value of MCC29 Blue Bats’ sky battle round 2 <33

BLUE BATS SKYBATTLE COMEBACK!!!!

Blue bats pvp main, real and true!!

Ace Race

Something about them just talking music makes me happy :)

Aimsey’s vod is muted so I skipped to the end but she did so well!! Xey popped off!!!!!

Shane 3rd!!!

LITERALLY WHY DUNK BLUE

Can’t believe Tubbo’s sexist AND homophobic, smh

Battle Box

“Feminine rage but it’s just me yelling at MCC every ten minutes” so true aimseytv

Them shout-singing All Stars <333

“I’m killing Sniff, lesbian on lesbian crime” *kills Sniff* “LESBIAN!!!!” I love them so much

Aimsey is popping off, holy crap, he’s literally slaying

Elaina and Aimsey tag teaming H was crazy

“I’m going straight despite me loving women” Elaina my beloved!!!

Shane getting exactly 1000 coins is crazy

Grid Runners

That light the lamps was CLEAN

Aimsey running headfirst into the walk was so head empty of them /aff

Golf references???

That final room would stress me out live but it’s so clever and fun to watch

THIRD :D that room feels so long but they killed it!!

They KILLED the mob room!!

8th!!!! :D

TGTTOSAWAF

Second team!!!!!

Aimsey :((

I hate georgenotfound, I don’t even care, he sucks

FIRST FULL TEAM!!!

Them all hating on Reddit culture and then AIMSEY GOT SECOND?!!!!!!!!

THEY GOT FIRST?????? THOSE ARE MY BLUE BATS <333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIXTH!!!!

What is with fbm and getting the same individual rank as the team?? This happened at least twice this event lol

Guqqie protective girlfriend mode <33

Dodgebolt

“You know Reddit, just because majority of a team is afab doesn’t mean they’re bad players, fuck you” SAY IT LOUDER!!!!!

“Of course I’m proud of Aimee. Aimee could’ve come in last and I would’ve been proud of Aimee” I could cry they’re so sweet <3333

Guqqie saying she’s babysitting us lol

“Aimee got 26th overall?! Look at him go!! Aimee is a really good MCC player and it makes me sad when people put them low” real and true <3

There is so much sexism in the MCC community, it’s absolutely disgusting and it needs to get talked about more. People treat afab players like death sentences for teams without even treating them as individuals. I’m so glad Guqqie is talking about it because so many people don’t acknowledge how horrid it is.

As they say, “it’s very cool that people take these competitions so seriously but I don’t think it’s an excuse to be cruel towards people. Take that passion and use it positively, not negatively.”

GOD Guqqie stop spitting so many facts you’re giving me too many quotes /lh

Guqqie talking about how balanced the teams are and how good of a job Scott did <33

[manie-sans-delire-x]

i agree with you every time you speak about how its so incredibly important to acknowledge female oppression based on sex, but why is it so hard to not call trans men "women"? like i don't get why so many people refuse to do that. both trans men and women have uteruses and vaginas, so why do they insist that it erases female oppression or harms women? it doesnt? the same thing happens with trans women. i think it really isnt that hard to speak about certain types of oppression while at the same time acknowledging that they very often overlap each other. like trans women and cis women both suffer misogyny, theyre both targets of sexual harassment and assault, and they both are the main victims of prostitution. trans men and women both suffer from sex-based oppression, obstetric and medical violence. trans men who are cis-passing dont suffer sexual harassment though, and they can navigate society with a considerable amount of male privilege (and so many radical feminists forget this, there ARE trans men who pass completely, most trans men who have used testosterone for a long time do, and they dont have to suffer misogyny in their daily life. it feels almost a bit insulting to hear people speak about them like they suffer the exact same oppression cis women do) trans women usually can't do this. people are diverse, and i dont get why its so difficult to speak about these things without excluding certain groups of people or just being fucking rude or disrespectful to them, many times on purpose. (sorry if i didnt explain myself well btw, english is not my first language)

Hi anon, your English is fine! Its super good actually. And thank you for acknowledging that female oppression is based off sex. But you should have stopped at "I agree with you every time you speak" lol! Jokes aside...

Transwomen (I think thats who you meant when you said transmen) are able to get surgery to have a sort of vagina, but no, they do not have uteruses... Not sure where you got that misinformation. Even if they had a uterus surgically transplanted, it would be nonfunctional and ultimately pointless to everyone. As they do not have eggs, they would be unable to have periods or get pregnant. I suspect there would be serious health risks involved too. In the same way, a transman would never be able to produce sperm even if they had a dick or balls surgically transplanted.

Girls, women, and boys are the main victims of prostitution and sex trafficking, simply because most of the "clients" are straight males. A smaller percentage of them are also sexually attracted to males, but as many of them are pedophiles, they prefer boys over grown men. So passing/not passing/extent of transition also has a lot to do with it. Traffickers of course do not care if someone is trans or not. If someone looks like a young female, they are a potential target. If they are not "passing" and look like an adult male, traffickers are likely uninterested because they are not sexually attracted, the clients are not interested, and a male is harder to physically fight and control. Or if they are smaller and young, they will happily traffic boys too- whether or not they identify as a girl. I guess what Im saying is that they do not purposefully look for transwomen, they look for girls, young women, and boys (and sometimes young men that are small/look way younger than they are). Basically anyone who looks young and vulnerable. Aside from sex, age is the next largest indicator of risk. It may even be number 1. Its not gender presentation. A female could identify as and present as a male but it would not matter to them if they can tell that they're female.

Transwomen are definitely victimized as well, but it is on incomparable scales, partly due to the vast difference in population size (1% to 50%), and usually for different reasons- transphobia, (which may or may not be mixed with misogyny). To say they are "both the main victims" makes it seem like its an equal amount, which is very much is not, luckily for transwomen.

All populations- including boys and men- experience sexual harassment and assault, but obviously that does not mean we might as well put them all in the same sex category because sex is not defined by level of oppression. Its not like, "oh you've experienced x amount of oppression in your lifetime, you may as well sit with the ladies" lol.

Transwomen are not oppressed under laws that only apply to females. Women are denied equal legal and social rights for being female, and as transwomen are biologically male, they are given equal rights from birth. As long as their birth certificate says "male", they will always be given these rights by the government.

I definitely agree that transmen who are cis-passing dont suffer sexual harassment (as much) and that they can navigate society with male privilege. But they can still be denied legal rights for being biologically female though, or be discriminated against anytime it says "female" on academic, professional, or legal paperwork. (And then transphobia can mix in with the misogyny when they see a male passing person). I also agree that they dont suffer the exact same oppression as cis women and that transwomen are not given this same luxury, because unfortunately as transwomen come to learn, misogyny is real and its a monster.

Why do you find it insulting to hear people say that passing transmen suffer the same oppression cis women do (because you know its not completely true), but you dont think its insulting to say that passing transwomen do NOT suffer the same oppression cis women do?

I think your whole argument boils down to "transwomen are oppressed just as much as ciswomen so should be considered women". Not only is that clearly not true when you look at laws, but again, sex is not defined by levels of oppression or life experience.

[chosoholics]

AUTHORITY

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[whenmemorydies]

All of the above @afrofairysblog! Can I just say, if this show had begun with season 3, then the audience for The Bear would have been dramatically different. It almost certainly would have had less POC folks watching and part of the fandom. So many of us were drawn to this show bc of the natural allyship and respect given to its BIPOC characters...because those kinds of depictions are not common in English-speaking television. So season 3 has been a bitter pill in many respects (its also been a beautiful one too...honestly, I've said this before and I'll say it again: this show is unmatched in its depiction of trauma and grief).

I wrote this original post in like 10 mins bc I woke up in a rage remembering this scene with Tina lol. She reminds me of so many immigrant women in my family who've had to retrain in fields they had no prior experience in because thats what you do to get the bills paid and where the job market refuses to recognise your experience if you don't have the correct certification or degree. And so many of them have also put up with management that was predominantly white treating them like cogs in a machine.

Like you said: "Carmy has the ability to ruin someone view of the industry or the careers of bipoc people" and "Carmy is not a bad person and loves the people around him, however it's necessary for he's growth to to reflect the privilege he has in this industry." <- THIS PART! The amount of power he has over the rest of the crew - especially Sydney if she signs that Docusign and still has to deal with Michelin Mode Carmy running everything and giving her no say - is so important to acknowledge and will be key to any repair process with the OG crew. I love Carmy's character and I'm rooting for him. Just like I'm rooting for everyone on this show (except the Faks and David Fields lol they can all go fuck).

I do think season 3 has a purpose which is to show us that fine dining is not it for Carmy or Sydney or the rest of the crew, least of all because of the toll it takes on folks who try to execute their fine dining vision in the way Carmy was. There's been heaps of amazing predictions on here about where s4 might take us and honestly, as angry as I was when I wrote the original post, I'm excited for whats going to happen next.

And part of that HAS to be Sydney getting some ease in s4. Holy shit she was the single reason that kitchen did not fall apart at the seams in s3. And I hear you on all of that labour falling on her as a Black woman - its unfair and another manifestation of misogynoir being mapped onto the bodies of Black women generation after generation. I'm not in America but we watched your federal elections. Black women are out there day in day out trying to save that entire country from itself. I was so glad when Sydney told Carmen she wasn't his fucking babysitter for these reasons. I wish she didn't have to fight for that ease though: that Carmen and others will just honour her space and HER peace next season.

See this?

Carmy is about to pull this shit. He is really about to go in and likely blow up one of the only good relationships he has left from The Beef. After yelling at Tina from the pass. After stressing out everyone and their fucking dog cos he thinks this is acceptable behaviour if its all in service of a star?

This part of 3x03 Doors was such a jagged scene for me because of a few things (including what I've said above). What else got me:

Tina is someone Carmy knows, that Carmy loves (go back to their scene in 1x08 Braciole talking about Mikey. Go back to Carmy's soft "hey Tina you go ahead, you take the night off okay? I got you.");

Tina is an older woman of colour who has made the commitment to skill up so that she can work at The Bear after working at The Beef. Carmy has seen the work she has put in but in this moment, he pays none of it any mind. Imagine being T. Imagine how that would feel. Imagine how it would feel knowing all we know after watching Tina's journey in 3x06 Napkins. The thing is, Carmy doesn't need to know all of T's backstory to know his behaviour is unacceptable. The fact that he knows some of it and proceeds to act in this way is just more evidence of his white privilege showing its ass.

Carmy does not have the self reflexivity here to look at his young, white, male self yelling at this older WOC and see how fucked this is: how he's become another white guy in a litany of white men barking at workers of colour, not seeing Tina for the whole human she is but reducing her to a means of production. The racial dynamics on this show are so evident but don't get talked about nearly enough. I know the writers have crafted those dynamics on purpose because as beautiful a character as Carmy is, he's also a product of his environment as a white chef trained in a highly racially segregated field. This has repercussions for his relationships in season 3, particularly with the BIPOC characters in his life. @november-rising speaks about Carmy's behaviour in relation to Black women's experiences of love and professional recognition devastatingly here. Read their post and the reblogs.

While this shit made me so mad this season, it was also in character - as I've said here - for a white guy trained in fine dining to revert to established patterns of behaviour. Though, I'm gonna need the writers of the show to show US that they did this on purpose and have Carmy ATONE for this shit in season 4. Otherwise, what kind of redemption arc will this man have? This shit is hurtful to the BIPOC characters and BIPOC viewers of this show in no small part because white men the world over have a LONG history of using BIPOC people as a means of production and as a means of production alone. If you're unsure about this, please go look up the Transatlantic slave trade. Please go look up the history of colonial indentured labour. Please go look up The British East India Company. Please look up the forced labour regime in the modern prison industrial complex. Please go read a fucking book. And no I'm not saying Carmy is responsible for the slave trade (LMAO please hold fire if this is where your mind is going). I'm saying BIPOC folks carry with us a long ass history, an intergenerational history of this shit. But guess who else does too? White folks. So don't act like they dont.

This shit is also hurtful because we know how respectful Carmy can be. We’ve seen him in seasons 1 & 2. We know he knows what being a practical ally looks like (even if he may not have the language to name what he was doing) when he made sure to bring the staff of The Beef with him to The Bear and invested in them accordingly. We know he loves and respects them, none more so than Sydney. But there were so many times where he did not act like it in season 3. And when folks have got histories - not just personal but cultural too - as long and as loaded as we ALL do, actions account for a lot. What you do is the shorthand for who you are in the world, whether you like it or not.

Ok back to the scene.

Who comes in and simultaneously saves Carmy's ass and ANOTHER of his relationships? Who protects Tina and keeps the kitchen from exploding AGAIN?

Who supervises her sous chef like a fucking pro?

Sydney. Sydney. Sydney.

And who knows that he's in the presence of greatness but doesn't know how to articulate it cos he's not integrated, not by a fucking long shot. Who needs to attend some anti-racism training along with Al-Anon and therapy (so he can get the benefit of understanding his role in this system and get a better understanding of his own mind)?

Yeah you Carmen, you.

Better get on that shit before you lose the woman who is the beat to your whole heart another means of production to a chef who's going to pay her better, give Syd insurance from the jump and total creative control. Just saying.