#thats totally normal and doesnt mean anything

[melancholyghoul]

These were in the same episode btw:

Taylor to Buck: You're not invincible. You could have gotten hurt.

Eddie to Buck: You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong.

(that episode was also the one where Buck and Taylor get together)

[beneaththebloodylake]

actually i hate when people take ace attorney out of the context it was made in. like im just as clueless about the details as anyone else, and its true its heavily fictionalised and mostly not a really serious representation of anything, but at least akcnowledge that that context exists when you talk about it. cause otherwise its just stupid, like everything youre saying is just random words and nothing actually to do with the series

[oryou-condred]

random thought but i do think that the possibility of despite all his normal guy persona, trey would have the most ridiculously complicated dating history known to man and he would act like its beyond his control but it very much it is.

like... riddle right. he would say oh nooo me and riddle are just friends! i mean yeah i kinda said i loved him in a romantic way during school but it didnt mean TOO much. we dated for a few months but then i started seeing another guy so we broke up but it totally didnt add baggage to our friendship don't worry! and then he is caught sticking his tongue into riddles ass at least 4 times after every single breakup he has and they go on dates and it makes everything more complciated bc why would i hide what i do with friends! and he does it while his other exes are on the same fucking bar

then he would go oh nooooo chenya and i are just platonic friends! i mean sure he fooled around and we had to break up when i entered night raven but it didnt add any baggage to our friendship! i mean sure when we drink we confess the love we still have to each other and how much we want to be together but it doesnt mean anything. its normal guy love stuff. somehow this often happens when he is having a fight with his partner too but oh well

then with rook he would be like nooo cmon rook is a weirdo AND in love with vil! yeah sure we go on holidays together often and we did get engaged that ONE time but we broke up pretty quick! im sure nobody has hurt feelings. yeah sure sometimes i cry thinking about what could have happened but you know it only happens when im feeling alone. sure i often call him in those moments and he does say he would drop everything to be with me but well he is a romantic he probably doesnt mean it

then with jade he would be like nooooo jade is too much for me! sure we lived together for a couple of years and we were so happy but well he is much happier with azul and floyd! he needs to go to the ocean he doesnt want to be bound by my boring bakery! sure he said it would be his dream to have a family with me but you know how jade is he says stuff because he thinks is funny not because he means it. yeah he looked into adoption and the mpreg potions and all but its just good info to have

like. ace is a professional fumbler thats for sure but i think we are sleeping on the potential of "trey clover the dude who can only score the hottest bitches in the cast and fucks up with all of them bc he cannot believe he deserves it and cannot comprehend he might be hurting them too". btw this doesnt have any basis on canon this is just funny-based headcanon

[postmail]

i lovvveee the drogo and primula that exist in my head. like its like they are the twisted and weird as hell versions of bungo and belladonna except infinitely less stable and mature like. one of relationship is a reliable, comfortable hearth and the other is a star that burns hard and fast and dies even faster

if you looked at these pairs from a distance they would look like very similiar couples, dynamic wise. you’ve got the ~wild~ took (or tookish brandybuck) girl and the stuffy baggins boy. but once you actually look you would realize they are completely different

bungo was a needed sense of home in belladonna’s life. he gave her something to actually come back to, a reason to come home and stay there. a reason to want to be in the shire. he literally built her a house. he loved all her weirdness and her tookishness, of course, even if it scared him a little sometimes. but mostly he just loved her. i think once everyone else got used to them being together they regarded belladonna and bungo as like... the couple. ultimate hobbit couple goals. they were madly in love and they knew how to handle it. they were normal about it, ya know? like a cute elderly couple or something.

but drogo and primula... uhhh...

lets just say, this was a match made in hell in eyes of their families.

drogo was a perfectly good hobbit before primula. fussy, stuffy, a little stuck up and a lot a coward - guy was the quintessential baggins. probably never even kissed a girl. and then primula happened.

primula is a firestorm. widely regarded as a hell-raiser, trouble-maker and disturber of the peace. often pictured standing on top of the burning corpse of respectability and good hobbit sense. not much of an adventurer per se, but definitely a little manic. somebody that definitely needs to be kept away from alcohol at all costs. takes pleasure in causing other people mental anguish and is total adrenaline junky. everything about her screams unstable, unrespectable. seriously, shes had like seven boyfriends, even a girlfriend or two

and then she starts flirting with drogo. and to everyone’s horror, he’s kinda into it.

whats worse is that she only becomes more insane, all to impress drogo. and. it fucking works.

primula is wild. probably a little deranged. and shes the most fun drogo has ever had in his life:

being the perfect baggins is boring, okay? there, he admitted it! he doesnt like being stuffy and fussy, locked up in his little hobbit hole stuck officiating mind-numbingly boring tea parties with distant relatives pretending to be interested in doilies, wondering about all the fun hes too scared to find.

but primula. primula.

she doesnt mind that hes a squeaky little coward who whines about unnecessary dangers and stained shirts. its like she sees through him, sees through all his toothless simpering that feels more like a force of habit than actual protests. shes exciting, shes fun, shes actually insane,

oh, and drogo! the flirting didnt really mean anything to primula, not at first. she flirts with a lot of hobbits, just because its fun. little primula motto for you: if its fun, why hold back?

but drogo is different. she didnt notice it at first, but once she did she was hooked.

he looks like the perfect baggins, acts like the perfect baggins. but its all an act, and shes the first one to see through it. he whines about danger and irrespectability, and hes not actually pretending to be scared. but theres a spark in his eyes when she steals a cart and takes them on a wild joy ride through hobbiton. hes screaming, but hes also laughing, she knows that look he has:

like he just started living for the first time in his life.

drogo was coaxed and eased into love. primula fell into it full force and with bang when she realized that this stuffy little baggins who cares about table arrangements and handkerchiefs is the first hobbit to also know thats it not just about being a menace for menace sake, thats its not about causing chaos. its about feeling alive. and he feels it too.

bungo and belladonna fell in love as equal and opposite forces, coming together like two puzzle pieces that somehow complemented each other perfectly. primula and drogo didnt fall in love with their opposites. they fell in love with the first hobbit in their lives that actually understood them. that actually got it. they fell in love because they were, at heart, the same. and yeah they burned so damn bright and died like a supernova but god, it was amazing while it lasted, wasn’t it?

[ghostlyvoidshark]

saw you were doing requests. can you do an error sans x reader [platonic] where the mc helps him with his phobia?

Hello! So sorry for taking forever! I think the author curse is real because, no lie, about a week after I started writing I caught 'rona for the second time, got hospitalized, nearly died in surgery, got fired from my first job then a little while later a family member died. But I'm chilling now 👍 looking at the positives - like being happy I put my mom's toxic boyfriend in jail >:] it's about the small wins lmao.

ERROR SANS x READER (Platonic)

Pronouns:

Error: he / they

Reader: you / they

I feel like Error would be both very easy to become friends with but also very difficult.

Like a cat...

I mean he would have very specific requirements to be friends but they're easy requirements. The difficult part is finding out what they are without scaring him off lol.

It'd be stuff like not touching them, not being too loud / obnoxious, respect boundaries, show interest in his obsessions but not too much knowledge on them (doesnt like being one-uped in his obsessions) etc.

I feel like he's okay with loud people btw, he just rather you not invade his space when doing stuff and rather have a warning to put on muffs to help regulate sound.

Totally would knit you some gifts, though. Each one comes with an insult as an excuse, though. Scarf? Its because you're a feeble human that dies at the slightest change smh 😒 gotta make sure their entertainment doesn't perish.

Anyways - onto the specific request -

I think the best way to help him would to be encourage him but not force anything. I lowkey kin Error so I'm kind of (very much) projecting because thats my only point of reference for a healing arc lmao. Ill explain my thoughts, tho.

I think he needs encouragement because he's stubborn and wouldn't change otherwise. You'll probably have to reason and bargain why he should do it and then encourage him.

He probably doesn't like change in the first place so that ontop of not seeing a point in doing it makes him stubborn to try.

But I do think it's possible to get him to try to get over his phobia. It'll take a while of getting them to warm up to the idea, but you can get there.

Also I know some people think you may have to force him because he's so stubborn, but he has obvious anger issues or some form of emotional disregulation and, in my experience, forcing him is a sure fire way to set them off and make them resent the mere idea of changing or becoming better. He may play along but it will make everything very difficult and not actually help him.

He'd just retreat and revert the first chance he gets if he were forced. So bad idea.

But once he's in a safe space (the antivoid) he will try your ideas. A bit begrudgingly because approaching phobias is very distressing for most people. But he's trying for you.

I think the best approach would just be... a form of exposure therapy? Like being a bit closer during parallel play. Doing your own things in closer proximity than normal. Allowing him to adjust to your presence being there in a different way.

And slowly moving up from there. Like adding small things to the routine so it can feel normal for them. Like instead of normal promises you guys start making pinky promises.

Because routines are likely important to him since laws / rules have been shown to be important to him. So making touch one of those rules / routines shows it can be a good thing / normal rather than a distressing situation. It also give incentive to do it more since routines 'shouldnt' be broken.

From there it's just a matter of finding work arounds and adding things to the routine. Having big sit-downs and 'sessions'probably isn't his style since it dramatizes it and makes it an exhausting thing. So it's better to just ask or tell him you want to try something new and if he would like to try / what would be the best way to do that. Like hand holding!

I think the first time he holds your hand it wouldn't be a big / emotional thing for him. He'd be more focused on not losing his shit at first. But the second or third time he'd be more emotional in a '/positive' way. Like he'd probably still look disgruntled and disgusted but he'd likely be staring off into space, lost in thought.

He likes having that intimacy (intimacy can be more than lewd or romantic btw) with you. The closeness with someone trustworthy.

But like ew touching lol. So he's kinda confused. He's happy but a little grossed out. Like handling a baby - the child is cute but inexplicably sticky with unknown substances. Pros and cons.

I think once hes more comfortable with you and touching he'd randomly shoulder check you 💀 they try not to do it roughly but he's quite literally an emotionally unstable universe destroyer, so its a work in progress to figure out how to do it gently lmaoo

But it's kind of the easiest way he's found so far to show affection on his terms without feeling trapped or forced in some way. Hugs are too cagey and holding hands can feel like too much since someone is grabbing him. Those are for when he feels better - so shoulder bumps are safe and affectionate.

You may be knocked to the floor the first time tho 💀 they swear they weren't trying to beat your ass.

Also once touching in small doses has been unlocked they will become weirdly more mean? But not in a genuinely aggressive way.

It's like how some introverts become loud dummies when they start to like you.

He just opens up more about his thoughts and feelings and teases you more because he feels like you have proven to be safe.

And it's not subtle either. No slow transition. Y'all will just be chilling one day and he drops some out of pocket comment about something and you're left there wondering why he's suddenly so bitchy like??? My guy??

He'll insult you too (not anything serious. And if you're okay with it.) But its how someone insults a cat, y'know?

Like if you're eating some snack he disapproves of he'll call you a stinky rat or smth. Its just *sees nachos and cheese in your hands* "stinky little garbage man/woman/rat"

No context given. You're just The Trash Thing(/aff) now.

Others are not given the mercy, though. If someone is annoying you will hear about it and he will tear them to shreds verbally.

Also if you two become more familial than just friends you will have the most viscous parental figure / sibling / etc. Ever.

Someone break your heart? They'll break the jackass' bones. Fair trade, yeah? Plz restrain him before half the city is demolished. Pls..

But like, he understands if you're just venting. He can calm down if you're complaining and venting. But if you seem really genuinely in distress he gets really pissed off. He'll start out shit talking the problem too then get a little too worked up lmao

They mean well, just get passionate about their loved ones.

Also pray / hope that ink never finds out about you because they will beat that dorks non-existent ass and you'll have to deal with them ranting for 2-4 hours.

Once they're okay enough you two will end up sitting shoulder to shoulder with a scarf or blanket wrapped around you two. I don't make the rules 🤷‍♂️ just enforce quality time.

[writingwiring]

I hope you know I'm biting at the bit here. Vibrating like a chihuahua. I hope you're enjoying me shaking you for loose Aroromanticism about the boys.

I'm curious, how does Matthew deal with his feelings once he relazes he has them? What is his realization that he wants ″mika″ in his life forever.

Does Matthew say anything or just continue as normal? Would Matthew go on fun outings with his partner? Like picnics or camping? If Matthew doesn't say anything about commiting to "mika″ what is his tell if any?

Also James would totally love a dungeon, he would run that place like a well oiled machine. I bet Matthew or Damin would have shifts of making sure everyone had enough to drink/eat and if anyone fell alseep (for any of vaitous reasons) they'd have a place to put them so they could recover and be ok in the morning. No human would get hurt innanyway they didn't want to in James's care.

im totally thrilled to aromanticize the boys

a dungeon managed by james anderson is definitely the kind of place i'd love to kick it at ngl before he is getting anywhere near having an event he's responsibly reading as much material he can get his hands on and doing everything from checking the building's safety to finding out what catering options are available

i think matthew realizing his feelings about mika would probably be a process where it happens kind of unnoticed until it just Clicks that she's become important enough for him to want her in his life for as long as possible whether thats from a sudden realization while theyre baking together, or him winding down after a day hanging out with her at the movie theater and grabbing dinner, or because she got injured practicing magic, i think it would just kind of. fall into place in his head i do think matthew would be honest about it! also most likely very awkward! he's never really had to think about the possibility of... asking someone to stay in his life that way? his brothers have always kind of been there (and always will be) so it's probably not been something that's crossed his mind however i think he would also continue as normal for the most part, probably even after talking through his feelings with her; mika might need to have a conversation with him about expectations and wants that are different as a result of any kind of agreed-upon queerplatonic commitment tbh because i dont think it would automatically change any of his behavior he's already doing stuff that conveys his affection anyway

fun "dates"? oh absolutely matthew loves them please take this man to an arcade he would want to play the crane game so badly there are winnable plushies!!! that doesn't mean they aren't still like. casual though in my opinion; i think that it might not feel super different from hanging out with naomi or suzu at points

if matthew were to keep his mouth shut... i think his biggest tell would probably be gift giving? whether that's cookies he made or a funny sticker he found or even a small toy (not intelligent this time! he doesnt need *another* simon tabby) stuff to try and make her think of him and feel positive, especially since he's used to giving gifts to cheer his mom up and would hold them as a meaningful sign of affection

[gothushi]

Rob knows what kinda smut you read and knows you love biiig dicks. He also knows how sweet and sorta inexperienced you are with aforementioned dicks. He almost goes cross eyed when you’re together and you tell him how much you want or talk about how big he is (he knows and he doesn’t brag about it) but bro when you’re going down on him and you give him little teasing kisses/licks and then you have to wrap your hands around what you can’t get in your mouth. He can almost come just from that.

yea yea yea uea yea ye aue su eayr je rnfnendkks

like. first of all rob knows hes got a big fat cock. like. the kind u see in porn vids, not ur average everyday man. he knows, but he isnt cocky or anything abt it. (at least not till u. and not in a cringy ‘haha my cocks real big baby mmm’ its like.. condescending.. sweet.. ‘ohh.. my dick too big, honey? no.. i think itll fit..’

i can see when ur like .. u first get together and hes suuuper sweet with a whole thing abt not rushing sex or stuff bc .. sorry i rly like to hc u with rob as. maybe not a virgin but just super innocent, not a lot of experience and mostly vanilla stuff. which can tie in super easy to u reading fantasy books n smut n stuff.

i think hed be super gentle at first (always) with fucking u for the first time and. i cld totally do a first time fic w him/little drabble bc hed start by eating u out and stretching u with at least three fingers. u keep begging and begging and ur brains going all mushy for the first time ever and ur eyes are glassy but hes like … ‘no honeypie uve gotta be prepped for me.. ‘kay?’ he doesnt like to just be outright ‘my dick is really big’. but… uve seen it… seen the bulge in his pants.. short glimpses when he gets out of the shower before its hidden by a towel… u know hes bigger than ‘normal’

so when his pants finally come off and uve been fuckin edged at least four times by now ur like … holy fuck … i mean, hes god damn hung. even though hes achingly hard like dizzy with the feeling his cock is still down between his thighs. and then u whimper

‘tha’s not gonna fit in me!’

ouhhnt the way ur all teary and whiny with another gush of slick from ur hole makes him shiver. like one that runs up his spine and right back down to make his dick throb. thats the first time he realizes he likes this whole size diff thing. bc he gets to coo at u all ‘ohh.. i knew that honey… ‘m only gonna give u the tip, okay? we’re gonna take it nice and slow… gotta train this pussy for me..’ and the way u start squirming in a mini tantrum as if it isnt obvious he is not fitting all the way rn and like u arent the one who said smth first is so funny to him. ouhhh he likes it.

so the time when u do manage to take like… lets say half… ohntrf when ur whimpering all crying and ‘’s so big.. daddy..’ ‘daddy’s too big- ah! hurts-‘ ‘so- full!’

yea. he rly. rly likes that. has him filling u up immediately with a throaty groan while u squirm and cry.

i almost forgot to tie in the whole reading thing sorry but yea u read romance books n browse ao3 for stories and he knows but doesnt pry. and .. u probably up ur reading amount while hes on trips/and during the entire training portion of ur sex life bc … not that he never leaves u unsatisfied bc trust u are ALWAYS satisfied.. he just leaves u wanting more.

so u find urself browsing different categories for the first time.. different kinks.. all things that rob has done/or things u want from rob but are wayyy too shy to admit. hed probably only pry bc one time u fall asleep w ur phone open and he spots.. some choice words. naughty stuff. then he reads whats on the screen and yea … ur caught. uve been reading specifically size diff fics.. w daddy kink… praise… and this latest author u found has a way w words.

hed keep his knowing a secret bc .. like he doesnt care if ur reading smut or romance stuff, but i can see that eventually down the line ur more open abt ur books or if u found a new slow burn fic u start to babble abt them to him. so eventually he’ll b a bit of a tease

now for head im not gna go super into detail bc .. im working on a short fic for it. but ur right he like. absolutely loses his mind. hes so patient and has such great stamina and willpower that if he didnt have u he cld go like … two months w out jacking off rly. but .. i mean, now? yes he can hold out rly well and not be as pathetically needy as u cumming three times before he does once but hes only a man.

when ur given free will to explore with his instructions… down between his thighs w big puppy dog eyes and ur little tongue shyly peeking out… ohhh my god hes leaking like a broken faucet and when u make a little grimace at the taste of his pre he almost busts right there.

he thinks ur so cute

[theosconfessions]

---------------------------------------------------------------

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here :)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

river- i really missed you a lot.

blake- then its not just me [smirks] didnt wanna come off as a creep. so um. god youre insant to look at . gyatt!

river-theres no words for how much i hate when you say that.

blake- do you? then ill just say.god.fucking.damn.[leans in] am i readinng this wrong?

river- now right now

---bowchickawow-

river-...

blake-...

river- we um should get dressed before my parents walk in. or my sisters.

blake- pretty sure with how loud we were they know not to walk in here,man.

river-glares

blake- okay not in the mood for jokes. noted.

river- its just...i dont want to be like theo,man.

blake-dude youre not.

river- [grabs shirt] i am. i dont want to hurt anyone.

blake dude what are you saying?

river- we shouldnt have done that. i ruined everything.

blake-dude no! no no ! you didnt ruin anything.

river-youre my best friend blake.

blake- and youre mine? whats going on man. is it just..this [motions towards the couch]

river takes a deep breath

river- isla and i broke up last night. at least for now.

blake-oh i see.

river- no blake im so stupid. and im so sorry i do not want to hurt you.

blake- hey its um its cool man. if you dont want this to be anything then it doesnt have to be anything..seriously.

river- i ruined everything.

blake- hey stop saying that. you didnt ruin anything. i mean im crazy over your ass. i mean id let you punch me in the face everyday and id thank you for it but thats me. and my feelings are on me. not you. i dont want you to feel forced to make this something youre not into.

river-really?

blake- really.

river- this was a big deal to me too.

blake- no i know. total virgin[smirks] i could tell.

river- [laughs] back to normal then it seems ?

blake- yeah back to normal. of course

river- good.good. thank god. hey ima go to bed.so

blake- yeah ill crash out here. robins going to wake me up at like five am anyways

river- robin?

blake- yeah well im failing. shes been my tutor for a couple weeks now. big ass test.

river- oh i didnt know you guys hunt out

blake-thats because we dont. but we do study.

river- right. nerds

blake- course. well trying to be one. night riv

river-night blake.

[kijosakka]

Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,

(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.

he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people

(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)

in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))

so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.

the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.

[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.

[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]

and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0

my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy

and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.

now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.

i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.

^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)

and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.

^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)

but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.

^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)

luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.

< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result

but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.

[cinefairy]

Whenever I am reading about the law on Tumblr I feel like I can manifest anything and that its so easy, but then when I try to apply I get so many questions about if I am doing it correctly again and that this is gonna be hard to do, how can I stop thinking like this?

thats because when blogs write about the law (most of the time this does not apply to every single loa blog) they write about it like it IS the most easiest thing in the world, like it is a flawless execution.

thats because they dont include their struggles, hell even i struggled today. i struggled yesterday too. im learning. im a human, im not gonna always tell u guys my struggles because its highkey none of your business but anyways.

lets just be real with ourselves for a second. lots of us have encountered struggles when we tried to fulfil our desires have we not? has this road been perfect? probably not…are we probably still struggling a tinsy winsy bit from time to time? well ik i certainly am.

doesnt mean shit btw if you’re struggling and its okay to.

when applying its so much different from actually reading, when u read that post saying everything is possible and everything is perfect and you’re perfect you get that rush, you get that excitement and everything feels good and happy until you actually decide to do it and you start feeling stupid, or you’re feeling like you’re doing something wrong or you’re missing an element or you’re just too aware of yourself u start to feel uncomfortable.

and guess what, thats totally normal. even neville found it hard at one point to actually APPLY and do it himself. but in that moment where that does happen. treat yourself kindly first of all and take it slowly.

step by step you will get there, maybe itd be helpful to do edward art’s meditation as a starter i felt more assured following a meditation, because you’re just doing what theyre telling you. cant go wrong

[boxheadpaint]

diary post baby. Heavier than usual or at least probably but i dont know or remember a good portion of the things ive ever said about myself on this line. For the normal guys though i had fun making that comic, usually when i get the motivation to make anything in that format i get pretty bummed about it pretty quickly simply because of the paneling

its fun to imagine making dynamic pages of comic panels, but when you have no experience beyond trying to make manga in your teens you mostly just have the squares/rectangles stacked next to eachother. for anyone else this is fine and isnt boring to look at by its nature alone, but for me i always believe that my own work would be too dull and unexciting to eye-catching to even bother reading. trying to just lose that pressure i give myself for a day and make something silly like some animals looking at eachother is nice

one of the things i kept hearing from my own head during the call about The Good News Of Getting Disability Income And Payment For The Time I Wasn't Recieving Benefits, was that i needed to kill myself for some reason. my body reacts badly to experiencing a lot of things, though of course its worst when its negative feelings. not even particularly strong ones, maybe a little nervous or a little mad and it likes to tremble or tense up totally. i dont know why exactly i reacted in this particular way other than the usual "what do you mean i dont need to freak out about this anymore. what am i going to do with all this freaking out juice? just chug it?"

im worried lately that ive built up too much of a tolerance to my sertraline, if thats something that happens. but i dont know for sure, and i dont know what ill do if that is the case. maybe it is still working and i just cant tell because even though its bad things would be much worse if i stopped taking it. it just feels like these days it doesnt do anything to help me feel better or more in control. can i speedrun making it work again by going cold turkey for a week and then getting back on it so my brain is like wow this awfulness stopped after i took this awesome pills.

can i give the money i recieve from social security to someone else to save? is that legal? or do they hunt you down for sport for doing that. what if you wanted to buy a house. or rent a house. Or just fucking live somewhere because these days prices are fucking absurd. ridiculous even.

hey girl, rat piss. hey girl, rat piss. I realize other than the blue puppy video i havent posted anything for pride. partly of anxieties of course, especially given the Great track record of the site withing the past month, but also straight up forgetfulness. I keep forgetting too many things and being too tired to remember. At night though i can do just about anything. I think ill take a nap and then wake up at 2 am to keep drawing. I have things to draw

6/24/2024

[velvetvexations]

I'm gonna go ahead and post the rest of the binary/non-binary privilege stuff in my inbox without commentary because I honestly am running out of things to add to them in response lmao.

If you don't see yours here: I did answer it, but I didn't like my response and deleted it just now before realizing "oh, wait, if they didn't see it in the two hours it was up they're going to think I missed or ignored it." I totally did read it and reply though! I was just angrier at the kinna people you were talking about than I wanted to be.

The rest:

for me when i think about the binary/nonbinary thing, basically my thoughts are: if being binary isn't a privilege, then can the gender binary be called oppressive? like personally i think the gender binary itself is an oppressive force in society, like male/female being a form of societal categorization is oppression. so it makes sense to me that fitting into that categorization is a privilege, and not fitting into it is disprivilege. i think it's a good argument to have whether or not the gender binary is actually oppressive, you'll get a lot of different takes, but me personally i think it is because it hurts me a lot and that hurt makes the most sense for me to call oppression. those are just my 2 cents, not trying to argue that it's worse for anyone based on if you're binary or nonbinary, just kinda that to me the gender binary itself oppresses me so i feel disprivileged for not fitting it, if that makes sense! also i think binary trans people specifically often face disprivilege for not fitting into the gender binary because during transition they often dont, and if youre not able to transition at all that means you really dont fit into it. basically theyre hurt by the same stuff in the binary as us a lot of the time. i think it gets complicated though because theres a statistical pattern where binary trans peoples goals *BROADLY* (NOT TALKING ABOUT INDIVIDUAL CASES, just talking about statistics) are to look like a "normal" person of their gender, so if that cant be your goal because it would make you dysphoric or suicidal or anything like that, you think about it differently and youre less likely to think the gender binary is good. but if it is your goal and youre able to make steps toward it, like if youre looking more and more like a "normal" person of your gender over time and fitting into normal society more, or even if you dont fit in perfectly but youre using enough "signals" to show you want to fit in and are trying and the people around respect you trying, then you might think the gender binary is good because it helps you be gendered correctly and helps you be your true self. i think that's why a lot of us feel like binary trans people sometimes use privilege over us, whether thats true or not (i havent decided my opinion on that and i dont know if i ever will because its really loaded and a lot of people will be mad at me no matter what opinion i have so it doesnt seem worth it to have one): because its more likely that you like the binary and want to keep it around if it helps you, and that opinion feels like an attack if you're hurt by the binary. plus, statistically theres a lot more of the "normal" trans people out and about visibly in the world than "abnormal" ones, so it makes it *feel* like we're a minority within a minority even when that's not true.

Ngl this binary privilege discussion is driving me knuts. Binary trans people don't face exorsexism: is that privilege? Y'all pretty much agree that not facing transmisogyny doesn't give trans men privilege so if we were any type of consistent around here we'd say No. Personally I think not facing form of bigotry gives you A privilege. It's 1 less hurdle you have to jump over, not an additive system that negates any of the other bigotries you face as a binary trans person or gives you blanket Privilege over all nonbinary people! But that's how people use it in this discourse so maybe we need to put the word Privilege on the high shelf and just support other people when they face a bigotry we don't.

Wanna add something to the thing RE: binary privilege as a (close to binary) trans man who used to be non-binary. I won’t disagree that there’s situations where binary and close-to-binary trans people are treated better than non-binary and unaligned trans people, namely in medical settings and often also legal settings (depending on the country and laws, tho). But what I absolutely disagree with are inter-personal situations. I’m aware there’re non-binary people who have the experience that they are not accepted where binary trans people are accepted. But the opposite also happens. When I identified as non-binary, my family accepted and respected me, used my pronouns and gender-neutral terms, etc. and I was accepted in a trans group that was made up of only trans women and non-binary people. When I came out as a trans man, my family returned to using feminine terms for me started treating me like a stupid girl, and I was kicked out of the group I was in. I know multiple trans men who had the same thing happen to them (a lot of the ones I’m in a small group with now). And the way some people are using exorsexist binary trans people as proof that they have binary privilege is so weird, too. I know so many transmisogynist or transandrophobic non-binary people (esp. transandrophobic with the spaces I used to be in), but that doesn’t mean they have privilege over me? People can be bigoted assholes no matter who they are or what they identify as. Like. There are exorsexist non-binary people, too. So like. I’m open to discussion of binary "privilege" (tho privilege is a bit of a clunky word for that, it’s more like binary centrism/favouritism, but idrc) in relation to legal and medical stuff, but interpersonal stuff? Thats exorsexism—which should absolutely be discussed, too, just without acting like any group of trans people has privilege over another. It’s just like what I experience from my local trans community and family is transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity, not the non-binary trans people having "non-binary privilege" and using that to kick me out of their spaces or whatever. I hope I’m making sense? I do think that discussion is important, but as someone who knows both sides, it’s lacking a lot of nuance currently. I’m definitely treated worse now as a trans man than I was a non-binary person (still experience the same transphobia from transphobic cis people, but now the queer+trans community is also slinging transphobia against me at any chance they have; while transphobes still want me to "go back" to being a girl without caring what words I use for myself now at all, there’s now also plenty of people who want me to "go back" to being non-binary, or really anything but a man.), and there’s plenty of non-binary people who have the exact opposite experience (used to id as binary trans, is now treated worse for being non-binary), and it’s important to keep in mind that a lot of the treatment is dependent entirely on the people around you, and that no experience is more important to discuss than another. This got long. English isn’t my first language, but I hope everything’s understandable.

(you worded it well!)

really enjoying the discussion about nuances of privilege vs advantage going on! I'd like to add that it's imo mainly caused by... medically and bureaucratically stratifying systems, for a lack of a better term? eg. in my country I can't go on HRT unless I want to "become" a transhet - that is, transition into a Fully Binary Man Wanting To Fuck Women. that's not something I want, as a nonbinary bisexual; I would be annoyed at being read as a Man the same way being read as a Woman is annoying, I only want some masculinizing changes, and the head of the board that decides if you can go on HRT does not believe in bisexuality (which is. ?????. HE'S A SEXOLOGIST.) But like. I don't think that others being willing to Be Seen As A Fully Binary Man Who Wants To Fuck Women (even if that's not the extent of how they want to live) is necessarily a privilege? It's just a slight advantage in a system that fucking sucks, you know? And you can at least lie about your sexuality (I have friends who are not straight and did lie), which, again, lying about that is not a privilege, but I'm too much of a contrarian bitch to even try and respect the opinion of someone who doesn't think bisexuality exists to even lie to them. I think a similar thing to this is compliance with psychiatric systems - I do well on medication and haven't had issues with any of my psychs (both therapists and prescribers), so I am in a circumstance where I'm going along with the system fine, making me have the advantage of less likelihood of being labeled a problem patient/disruptive/combative/etc. and being forcefully detained or such. People whose experiences with psych have been shit/are antipsych for whatever other reason/etc. do not have that advantage. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm privileged over them, but I do have a bureaucratic and medical advantage in a system that wants to binarize into Conforming To Expectations × Not Conforming To Expectations, even though both of us are having mental health issues.

[writers-get-biters]

sooooo tired of feeling bad and shitty and stuck and miserable

fuck my relationship ocd i hate it so much and also fuck being forced to do stuff i dont want by people i dont want to be with sometimes (like now )they get into some sort of fucked up loop where i feel miserable because of stuff in my brain and then theres external stuff which also fucks it up more so then my disabilities become more disabling because obviously and then i get blamed and hurt more externally because of my disabilities that are not! my! fault! and then of course that makes internal shit worse so then im just stuck in the middle forced to pretend shit doesnt suck and actually im fine and actually everythings fine keep being "jokingly" mean to me and pushing my boundaries i dont care i get it its actually really okay if you say something to me that most other people i know offline wouldnt consider mean even though i have told you to stop its okay if you dont stop i guess i guess its fine if no one listens to me and i have to sit in miserable silence by myself because i dont even feel like doing anything that any of my ceters enjoy like drawing or our data entry projects or video games or writing and it doesnt matter i guess that im so stressed because since its from an arbitrary authoritative institution everyone is supposedly fine with that makes it totally okay and actually the real problem is me and i guess im the problem and reason why no one wants to talk to me or communicate with me the way i want to be talked to or otherwise communicated with yeah my bad i guess its all my fault and im supposed to just suck it up and stop complaining and also its creepy and wrong and bad i guess for me to try to cope with any of this the way that i want to and i guess yeah i need to and should be keeping it a secret because otherwise ill make everyone else uncomfortable and thats the worst possible outcome btw no person left behind unless its me in which case utilitarianism is always right and we cant give a shit about everyone yk like someone is always going to be miserable but we should prioritize the most people so if i mention kink (ew) or my other interests (ew) im a horrible really bad person actually because im making other people (more important than me. btw) uncomfortable and upset also i should ignore the fact that i am systematically and systemically being isolated from and kept away from people who might actually show understanding and kindness towards me or be in a similar position and extend the kind of support i desperately need but its cool because you keep saying youre only doing that because im "better than them" and actually youre helping me because "those people" are bad and wrong and harmful and they might make me (simultaneously innocent and guilty) do bad things like drugs that might offer a chance to alleviate some of my pain or transition to a bodymind i& want or be angry or just generally be a "bad person" and not be able to participate in the joys of continuing the chain of oppression and harm. but its fine because its for my benefit actually because you frame it as ""those people" have it so hard and theyre so unlucky (because theyre treated like shit by everyone which is true because people's actions are definitely a matter of "luck") and i just want to spare you from that" how kind of you wow youre so sweet and nice to me right now because i havent violated any of your rules yet what a great person you are because you let me be myself to a certain extent (a tiny little eensy-weensy extent but thats fine because its more than i deserve anyway) and since im being invited to participate in the continuation of oppression and pain it would be pretty rude for me to say no and if i did say no it would definitely justify treating me badly and doing all of the things you do to "those people" to me because im technically actually even worse than "those people" because i could have been normal i could have just accepted your rules (that were literally killing me to follow) (not that you noticed)

and also on the other hand the people arguing against you get to use me as their fun little trick-up-their-sleeve because obviously its ridiculous to treat someone like me the way that you have and will and i can be used as a perfect little pawn

[the ceter who wrote this switched out around here, but before they did, it asked that the others of us post this vent anyway if they were unable to finish or post it]

[ritzcuit]

the fun thing about datz anxiety abt his own feelings and hiding them from dhurke is that it means hes afraid of dhurke and wants to keep something away from him, which is not the case in literally any other scenario (well not 99.9% of them anyway)

i think hes Pretty Quiet about certain things but theres a difference between just not wanting to be a bummer vs "if he finds out i love him im going to Lose Everything" (an idea he came up with entirely on his own)

i mean its also. normal! people are shy about their crushes and Good Things are hard to come by. getting romantically involved would be so so so dangerous. this is all so delicate... but datz cant kill his feelings so the best he can do is hide them and make sure Dhurke Never Finds Out. which, again, is a total 180 compared to his usual (probably) habit of like... sharing his happiness with dhurke. you know?! he loves dhurke. thats his best friend. someone who makes him so so happy.. they share good moments together. in order to survive The Horrors. but bc of this... his best moments, nights where dhurke reclines against him and doesnt seem so weighed down by everything, for example... that true happiness has a tarp covering it, so that dhurke might not catch on. this of course makes him feel guiltier for deriving too much joy from innocent monents ... which, its datz, and in any other situation he loves getting the wrong idea from things, like a wretched raccoon, but he respects dhurke so much.

like if you used widget to interrogate datz... asking him about something something... thered be an out of place anxiety there.. and someone would misread it as Omg datz is actually scared of him! wow! but really. datz is just so so scared of Losing Him.

or a confession except its not a confession, not a great one, bc its more like... a confession (guilty) a confession (im in trouble.) and dhurke doesnt have any clue why its coming out that way. datz looks like a kicked puppy! and its just Weird bc dhurke thought they were having like, an honest man to man moment, but datz looks like he fucked up insanely bad... and *thats* not great, having your partner in all things who seems to completely lack shame, look ashamed to have feelings for you 😭 he can take it as a hit to his ego, but hes far more worried that hes actually given datz reason to feel this way. did he ever make it seem like he'd be disgusted by such a thing?! love is love datz, he'd never judge-

and ofc datz is like WWWWAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT. IDONT TBINK YOURE HOMOPHOBIC 😭LMAOOO But like ARGHHH its just soooo fun to me. this odd screwy life hes built with dhurke is like. his treasure. its just enough to be by his side... his heart is racing but not in a good way, more in a panicked animal way, as he feels like hes going to lose this treasure. that dhurkes gonna push him away for a million reasons. not least of all the AAAACTIVE MAARIAGE! datz torn between the urge to explain, because it kills him to see dhurke thinking for a second that its His Fault, but also not wanting to explain anything bc every word out of his mouth is damning..

and meanwhile dhurkes just... truly gobsmacked... lmaooo but i think he hits datz with that. what. youre worried ill deny you? im more worried that i couldnt possibly deserve you. are you kidding me? after everything youve done for me! BC THAT PARTTT. datz is worried this was all a fluke and temporary and never meant to last this long but dhurke sees datz as the only reason this lasted so far. he would have lost it years ago without datz by his side... so to see datz think that dhurke would cast him aside so flippantly, is...

well clearly dhurke has to set the record strait...!! (by KISSING HIM A WHOLE LOT!!!!!) Or at the very least holding datz still and reaffirming a million times that hes invaluable and dhurke considers his presence a treasure... GAH!! because theyre BEST FRIENDS!! But really its the. lingering fear of it all.. dhurke realizing that datz seems genuinely afraid to admit such a thing and its so weird bc datz isnt afraid of Like Anything.

so he really must be serious about this... dhurke could take it personally but he knows better. and also hes . kind of stunned that he didnt realize these feelings before but suddenly a Lot Of Things Are Making Sense

ive rhought about this like 50million times and ill think about it 20284740 more. GODDD

[marimarees]

hi hello I brought you some asks :] please tell me about Amajiki !! (one day I'll finish MHA, but he's such a neat character, I'm glad he has you to love him sm) 💖

Who fell first and who fell harder? Both? You or f/o?

What is a gift your f/o has given you?

What is your f/o’s preferred love language? (physical touch, quality time, acts of service etc)

Who is an early riser and who likes to sleep in? You or f/o?

Who is more protective of the other? You or f/o? Equal?

Gush about your ship lore! Gush about f/o! Gush about s/i! It’s a free pass :)

thank you! that means so much to me! tamaki is a huge sweetheart. im glad to have him as well 💜 have fun watching the rest of MHA if you ever decide to do so again!

who fell first, and who fell harder? both? you or f/o?

this one is not easy to answer, but ill try my best

i fell first, but also pretty damn hard? im demi/grayromantic, so that took me by surprise. personally i need someone who relates to me, and i definitely get his social anxiety (even though we display it different, and my anxiety is way less) so maybe thats why it was easier to fall in love like that

i think tamaki crushes pretty fast if he feels at ease with someone, but i think i was first with it haha. it took him a bit more time to warm up to me, but once he did, he also fell pretty hard

what is a gift that f/o has given you?

none yet! our relationship is pretty new (may)

ill let you in on a little secret though, i think he wants to buy me a plushie, or something that reminds him of us. he probably wants it to be something meaningful, but im fine with anything really!

what is your f/o's preferred love language?

he might not seem like it, but he gets pretty touch starved. he doesnt like touch with strangers or acquitances, or even friends, but with his lover? yeh.

im less about physical touch, and he totally gets it, so he takes care not to overwhelm me too much. i still dont mind hugs or cuddles though! they can be great, im just Autism and dont want the sensory overload

however, there are moments where hes not into it either, so we prefer quality time together if thats the case. always good

who is an early riser, and who likes to sleep in?

im the sleepyhead here LOL i def like to sleep in most of the time. tamaki is probably more of an early riser than me, but even then its just 'normal' hours. he is the one to make breakfast too... if he manages to get out of my grip when we sleep together, that is

who is more protective of the other? you or f/o? equal?

okay so its definitely tamaki thats more protective. it breaks his heart when he sees me sad. i hurt myself on accident? he is worried out of his MIND. doesnt matter if its just a little cut on my finger or a bruise on my knee. same goes for when im only slightly upset. i dont mind, but it pains my heart in return.. its not necessary. i dont think he does this with friends really

(and if someone hurts me? oh boy. he wont tell the person directly, but he gets pretty angry on my behalf)

gush about your ship lore! gush about f/o! gush about s/i! its a free pass :)

for anyone familiar with tamaki you might know he likes butterflies, but imagine him being into moths and other insects too! he loves bumblebees. just the way they buzz around... so small (yet so big?)

[threewolfmoons]

grousing about health / medical stuff under the cut

i wish finding drs and researching didnt require so much critical effort to like, find anything and anyone that isnt just regurgitating non scientifically validated fatphobia etc. like, i've been trying to cut down on sugar because i am getting older and i have noticed i am more sensitive to sugar now and i'd love to talk to a nutritionist about how to alter my diet to help with my fatigue and such, but i'm fat. which means that i have to walk through a fucking minefield of avoiding Weight Loss as the only possible meaningful objective i might possibly have or like even if i find someone who doesnt overtly suggest that it still colors how most people talk and think about food in general and i dont want any moralizing bullshit about eg sugar just bc i am interested in cutting down on it.

its just annoying to me at this point more than anything. my ent asked me if i lost weight at our last appt and i was like hmm idk and he checked and was like huh no youve gained a little weight but [something about how the machine does air pressure i cant remember] which usually indicates youve lost weight. and its like well, yeah man. sure. or like my obgyn who is lovely and is hopefully doing my hysterectomy did give me the "well your weight is a risk factor" - not in a like, she wont do it if i dont lose weight kind of way, i know shes basically required to say that, but i could tell she did believe it too. and like whatever. it wont stop her from doing the surgery so who cares its just annoying!!! i have literally been more or less the same proportions my entire life, it is the shape of my body, i know from experience that no amount of diet/exercise changes will magically make me Thinner. and thats not a goal of mine anyway. like every medical thing ive had in my life has come with someone being like well hey you might lose weight- when i had back surgery my mom suggested that as a possible positive side effect lol. my pcp in grad school who's specialty btw was eating disorders, when i started adhd meds she was like oh well the appetite suppression might be helpful in your case :) like lmao no. not that it would matter if i was but in terms of the markers of unhealth typically associated w fatness i am like. fine. unremarkable. my blood pressure runs low, i have to get shit checked for hormones regularly and its always fine, so my whole life ive always had a funny thing where drs will be like weeelll youre totally unremarkable and normal and fine buuuut you should lose weight anyway just bc. like ok. its just annoying!!!