#thats positive btw. i love a mean bitch
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oh my gosh i just finished season 3 of mob psycho 100 and ive got to say tumblr has not spoiled any of it and i am ever greatful i have been following you for a LONG while, came in for sam and max and never left so seeing all the mob stuff i just skimmed over real fast. just wanted to thank you for being one of the biggest reminders for putting it on the "to watch" list. just gotta ask, with season 3 out is it worth reading the comics for any unique flavors or diverting story lines like people say with one punch man- i hear people say reading one punch is better then the show at all but i am so impressed with what mob the show has to over that i dont know how it can get better then this ahahah. the ending having cannon aro rep really had me hollering too ah gosh im still so hyped up after that ahahahah
MOB SWEEEEEEEEEEEEP im so happy to hear you enjoyed mob psycho! its one of my favorite animanga of all time..my toxic trait is that im actually such a manga reading elitist but the mob anime is one of those adaptations i recommend as much as, if not more than the manga its just that good. Speaking of manga elitism I would recc the manga! I havent read it in a long time......and the anime basically covers mostly everything but I think its worth it to see ONEs art and theres a lot of jokes they didnt include like the omakes, all of which are hilarious and sometimes the joke just hits better in comic form than it does animated. Plus, you should read the REIGEN spinoff manga if youd like! thats actually where my icon comes from- its set after mp100 and even though its titled as a reigen spinoff the main character is actually tome LOL. its really good and a great read for anyone wanting more after experiencing the main story
#asks#i dont...quite rememeber if they cut out any arcs? I think some felt shorter to me in the anime than they did reading but i think thats act#actually just cuz i had to wait for new chapters to come out. LOL#also in the manga reigens uglier and kind of ruder than in the anime cuz studio bones wanted to jump his#thats positive btw. i love a mean bitch
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Honestly the main thing I've learned from House M.D. is that before you get married, you should really make sure your spouse has the same blood type as you. Just, y'know, in case of emergency.
#house md#this was just sitting in my drafts idk why#but i think its kinda funny so enjoy#i mean honestly#the amount of times someone is like “I WILL GIVE YOU MY KIDNEYS JEFFREY”#only to be cockblocked bcs their blood types dont match up#its a lot okay#thats my point#this is a joke btw#plz dont chose the love of your life cuz they're AB positive or whatever the fuck#if we did tho#those o- bitches would be flying off the shelves#alright ive officially lost the point#send post
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hello can you do fella x reader and they have been dating for a few months and tyler announces them on stream 😈
btw please don’t die i love ur work 🥰😇🙏🏼
His Little Secret.
Hansumfella: Tyler x Fem!Reader.
a/n: I'm not gonna die on you guys oml I PROMISE I'll keep feeding you until nature has its way with me xx
the day Tyler asked you to be his girlfriend was the best day of your life. you two had met through the internet. you started streaming together and eventually hanging out in real life, as well. although your relationship had started out strictly professional, with a couple drinks, fella had admitted his feelings for you that you reciprocated. your talking stage lasted for 3 weeks, and during that time, you two were inseparable.
he took you out frequently, not to mention the way you two streamed together pretty much every night. you kept your talking stage private. only family and close friends knew. you loved how conservative he was since you were as well.
but, the day he asked you to be his girlfriend was much different than the usual, casual dates you went on. it was a beach date. the sun had just started to set whenever he turned to you and asked 'will you be my girlfriend' over a drink and take out. of course, you said yes. the two of you laid in the sand in each others arms.
after that day, you frequently spent the night at his place. you also streamed with him in person now, since you were already there anyway. people had their suspicions, but you always being at his house while he streamed did not help.
you dragged in a chair from the kitchen and sat next to Tyler. he was just about to start his stream. it was your idea to do a truth or drink stream, since he had only ever done a truth or drink hot sauce version. you figured drinking would spice it up a little.
"what's up, guys!" he exclaimed with a smile. the chat was being spammed with greetings to both of you. at this point, they were accustomed to seeing you tagging along for the stream. "if you read the fucking title, you'll know what me and y/n are doing today."
"truth or drink!" you exclaimed.
"just the usual, send a question in with 50 bits, blah blah blah." he peered at the chat then back at you with a smile. he rested his hand on your knee under the table, which was out of the view of the camera. "so, why don't we just get started. i know you guys are creaming your pants with impatience."
he swiftly turned on the text to speech with submissions. the first one came through immediately. "which one is the real skibidi sigma rizzler?"
"me, obviously." you responded immediately.
"you really wasted 50 bits on that?" he tossed up his hands in defeat. "i guess i'm going to have to admit y/n is the real skibidi sigma rizzler." he replied sarcastically. "let's get some actual juicy questions up in this bitch."
the next question interrupted him mid sentence. "favorite position?"
"bruh." he rolled his eyes and glared at me. "i'm gonna have to pass on this one."
you considered your options for a moment, "should i expose myself?" you asked, turning towards Tyler.
"i mean, go for it," he flicked his hand towards the camera, "it's your digital footprint on the line."
"yolo, I guess." you rolled your eyes. "either missionary or reverse cowgirl. next question."
it was hard for Tyler to hide the smirk on his face. you took a peek at the chats to see what they were saying.
'fella DEFINITELY knows something we dont'
'bro knows he's getting it tonight'
'BAHAHAHAHA'
'wtf fellas face 😭😭'
the next request rang from the computer. 'are you guys together or no?'
your heart sank. you looked at fella, but the hesitation made the answer obvious. he looked back at you quizically, and you nodded. you had been dating in secret for 4 months, what could announcing it now hurt?
"yes, yes we are." he grinned, "anyway..."
the chat was filled with people screaming.
'NO WAY HE PULLED'
'WHAAATATTTAATTAR'
'I KNEW IT BRU'
'THATS CRAZY'
'SHES WAY TOO FINE FOR YOU FELLA GTFOO'
'LMAAOO YUH'
'GOOD JOB FELLA'
another question, which wasn't really a question, came through. 'kiss or it isn't real.'
"I don't know about that much.." you trailed off, raising your eyebrow at tyler.
he shrugged at you, "it's okay with me if you wanna, babe."
him calling you babe made your heart flutter. you shrugged back. "alright."
he pulled you in and pecked your lips, causing a light blush to spread across both of your faces.
'OWAH'
'GET A ROOM'
'DAMNNN OKAY SO HES SERIOUS'
the comments made you laugh. "well, know you guys know." you grinned at the camera.
#fanfiction#fanfic#hansumfella#twitch#drinking#hearts4golbach#request#hansumfella x reader#hansumfella x you#streaming#stream#streamer
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Part 3 Twin AU
inspo : @moodysunflowerbaby
you have only been able to think about your last reaction with them. was that the last time you would talk? will yoi ever be friends again? are they ok? why couldn’t i have been a better friend? it plagued tour mind, flying above you like a storm cloud. you wanted to talk with them but how could you? there was nothing you could think of to fix this mess.
you were sitting in your room watching a movie when you hear a quite nock on your door. absentmindedly you call “come in” you didnt even turn to see who it was. “ hey” you heard behind you causing confusion. your parents never say “hey” and the voice was oddly familiar? you turn to see miles and mylo standing with a plastic bag in hand.
all you could do was stare “ could we talk?” miles asked. you were still caught off guard so you simply nodded pausing the movie and sitting up. the both take a seat on the edge of the bed. you sat in silence for what felt like forever till you heard mylo sigh “ im sorry for jumpin to a conclusion the way i did, i felt the a jerk the moment i left. you onyl wanted us to past with the best score and if miles could have helped i should have been open to the idea. im sorry” he says sincerely gazing into your eyes searching for what you could have been feeling.
“ im so sorry as well i had no right to say that, i was upset and i just didn’t know how to deal with my emotions i didn’t mean to upset you, or take it out on you could you forgive me, forgive us?”
you stay silent “ why didnt you just tell me about what happened, i would have been there for you guys. i thought thats what friends do for each other i tell you guys whats going on with me but the moment i ask about you its like im not allowed to know. and miles you asked me if i wanted to hang out after school and literally stood me up? and then i saw you hanging out with some blond girl hours later? why would you do that?”
you say with pain lacing your voice. mylo was kind of shocked he had no idea about this. miles sighs “ i habnt seen her in a long time we were just catching up and i didnt mean to forget i was stressed and busy im so so sorry.”
you couldn’t forgive him just like that… could you? “ it really hurt. and i don’t deserve to be treated like that, but if the both of you will be honest with me” you pause “ we can be friends again” you say with a soft smile “ thank you we appreciate it, and so will our mom” miles laughs “ oh so she made you guys come here? i knew it there is no way you came here willingly.” they laugh before realizing what they brought “ oh and we bought you these on the way here” mylo says handing you a bag of your favorite snacks “ thank you, you guys didn’t have to do this” “ wellllll we kind of did” miles says before scratching his neck.
“ so we good right?” mylo asks “ yea were good”
the end
btw you end up with mylo having a happy ever after 😊
.
.
.
🏷️: @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo @pandoragalora @miles-42-morales @heavisdelulu @lilcassipuff @levanneisdumb @thebaddest @sussybaka10 @itsznanabanana @malllywally @missyysyx @c4nth3lp1t @sgmianne @miles4hour @ulovejayy @onginlove @buckleyverse @lexixiii @swaqlover @yoursidehismain @florencepughswife030196 @lethycia @edgyficuselastica @druiggf @onsimpshii @lovely-horror-show @vivsamortentia @leighs-gallery @remuslupinsno1slut @steve-harringtons-bitch @shurisbbymama @bunnybabylovesstuff @karmascute @c4rine @janaeby @mookiebutt @paraccosm @zkristuz @reflectionsinrealtime @mindymeeksrules @nagi3seastorm @popeheywardssecretgf @be3_Fl0w3er @piopio @hoodypunpurri @hiyoo-o @enchanting-violet @fiannee @itsnotino @inluvwithneteyam
also i will be deleting the post regarding the anonymous hater because my page is supposed to be filled with happy thoughts and POSITIVITY!!
i also feel me replying gave them a confidence boost or something and i don’t want then to attack anyone else.
#miles morales#atsv x reader#earth 42 miles#miles morales x reader#earth 42#earth 42 miles morales#earth 42 miles morales x reader#fluff#across the spiderverse#cyberkitty1#earth 1610 miles#earth1620#earth 1610 miles morales x reader#rio morales#make up#cuties
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END OF 2023
sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx
hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)
so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶
@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh
@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍
@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶
@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want
@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'
@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)
@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️
@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu
@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!
@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3
@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3
@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3
@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕
@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33
@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍
@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️
these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME
also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶
@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)
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youtube
this video
it opened my eyes so much more
what the FUCK is even a “strong female character”? because it can be so subjective, it can be so many things, when people say cinderella sucks or snow white and ariel etc is because theyre cute and feminine and kind or do mistakes, especially so called “feminists” say this because being kind and feminine is seen as weak, wich is a another can of worms that can be opened
snow white expreiences fear and terror after being told her stepmother wants her DEAD,she isnt a person who physically fights back but if you watch the damn movie, you can see she knows when she is mistreated, she can be sarcasitc too, even after years of abuse she tries to keep her head up, also please thats a 14 year old girl, i was even more timid than her at that age, being positive despite your situation doesnt make you weak, its a strength, if you was a woman or girl want to dress feminine, then go for it, if you enjoy it why should it be a bad thing? if you want to look masculine then go for it too
what i said about snow white also goes for cinderella, they have similarities so i would just repeat myself
then lara, she has a tomboy side but also has a feminine side,then her goals being very simple but relatable, just like the princesses, she herself does mistakes, does things because she has her own hopes and dreams,im so tired of this bad faith criticism, if you want to criticise them, then u know, watche the movies, play the fucking games
im not gonna talk about the live action remakes this post would be longer, but lemme tell ya, these movies did exactlyyy listen to the bad faith shit, its like crystal dynamics did the same
“if youre not a absolute girl boss and dare to have have flaws and cry alot then sorry sweaty you suck as a human being” fuck off
so yea, i guess just make sure you have fun and are passionate with how you write your character, your female character doesnt suck just because she is kind and feminine, or a tomboy, or very masculine and muscular, or if she is emotional, or does mistakes, bitch i WANT TO SEE THAT IN FACT, i love when a character does mistakes, it makes me feel seen lmaoooo, a character can be a loser, not everything needs to be a superhero or something i dont give a fuck
there cant be a direct answer to this,what makes a character empowered, at least i dont see it, can be fucking anything, i wish i could add more but thats my two cents, this is in my drafs for years lmao and now im just typing out how i feel
i guess it means in short, if you have human flaws, emotions and do mistakes then youre a bad character? PLUS being cutesy and feminine? then the issue mostly being bad faith and lazy ass criticism, nuance is also something that lacks most of the time, i guess i get it now
dude my brain broke
my fave princess is snow white btw and i will defend her 1938 version, thanks for reading this mess LMAOOO
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Hello.
I have not posted or reblog or whatever these things are called nowadays. Anyways, I bet no one reads this cus i just wanna give a life update to myself lmao.
I stopped visiting tumblr probably more than 5 years ago?? So around 2018 probably. Oh wow. Okay imma make a timeline then.
2018: I was with my ex boyfriend. Lets just call him A. Things started great then went downhill and i ignored all the red flags yadda yadda yadda typical young girl thats so positive im gonna end up with this guy. Well no. If i could turn back time, i would slap myself in the face and tell her to run. I actually cant remember much back then as im trying to forget everything 2020 and below. But what i did remember is how manipulative he is and a liar. But, i was in "love". I started my diploma this year and graduated already in 2019. We'll get to that year in a second. Anyways, he practically talked me into being with him rather than this really great dude i was dating before him and mind you he had a gf. In my defense, i didnt know as i said earlier, hes manipulative and a liar. The dude before him is from singapore and i was young and thought LDR wont work on me(boy i was wrong.) I needed the physical attention cus well, i was young.. But im glad i did met him physically cus we planned to meet in Johor and it was sweet. okay that got sidetracked but 2018 is like the 2nd year i was with A. During this year, it really went downhill. I started to fall into deep depression and my mental health was bad bad. Thats when i felt i wanted to unalive myself and hurt myself. and i did. the latter i mean. anyways he started working somewhere and i actually was sus about this bitch working there as well. Lets call her S for slut.
2019: Fast forward to 2019. This is the year i got a cyst on my left ovary. Due to reasons i rather not say but i will answer if by any chance someone read this and are curious so go ahead inbox me i guess. But definitely A was contributing to it. Whether directly or indirectly. So yeah, during that time it was bad. I lost my left ovary and i only have 1 now. How i found out you ask? (no one asked but) I had really unbearable pain on my abdominal area. The uterus area like non stop. I thought its the period cramps but i wasnt on my period that time at all. I found out a bit late so the cyst grew until 12cm and i saw it after the removal. Its the size of a baby's head! im not even exaggerating. Its really big. Anyways after the surgery, my family has been there for me. They're really the main reason why im still alive and well mentally and physically. That was in July. and i cant remember anything before that. so lets move on. Towards the end of the year, i found out that A was cheating on me. Not 1, but with 2 different girls. 1 is S and 1 is F. These random ass letters will get me confused but nvm. F is the ex gf. and the funny thing is, F was friends, best friends with S. LMAO. When i found out, the first thing i did was exposing him on my instagram sksk. I cant do anything and im not gonna stay quiet about it. so i just did that. and a lot of people came forward exposing more about him and S. So hes really active with S. Hes been going out, fucking her and F behind my back. and they both dont know about each other's situation btw until F saw my insta story and contacted me to meet up. and we did and i told her everything. all this time A was badmouthing me to his side pieces saying how much of a psycho i am, how i always beg him to stay (fuck no ew i always ask for break ups but he always have a way for words and actions). Like i said, hes manipulative and a liar. the fact he had the audacity to ask me to not stay mad for long as if im still gonna be part of this shitty hole. fuck no. i did confront S at that time and bro i really felt like i wanted to slap her face and drag her across the road but hey hes not that fucking worth it for me to do that. I complete left the whole fiasco and stayed friends with F lmao. shes cool. but sometimes dumb bcs she still stayed with him after everything. although that time A already went public with S he can still manipulated F somehow. A ended up marrying S tho. and side note, i gave A a fossil watch and it was fucking expensive. and he told F he bought it himself lmao. fucker. oh and he often take advantage on me asking me to pay for shit. he did pay sometimes but restaurants that are expensive, i paid. he paid for mamak, hawker stalls and what not lmao. So that ended. And i ended up celebrating new years alone and i fucking glad i did.
2020 -2021 July: So uuh covid came. And i met this dude on May 2020. How? me and my discord friends that i met during covid were planning to meet up and hes one of them who tags along. He just broke up with his ex gf 2-3 days ago that time. How he approached me, he kissed me creepily and suddenly while me and him was alone in a house i rented before covid during my degree. Now that i think back, it was creepy. He said "what if i attacked you right now". LIKE WTF? WHO SAYS THAT. Then he suddenly kissed me. i did not know how to de-escalated the situation. so i just let it slide. we just met for 2 hours btw. and he keeps on asking for a kiss afterwards too. on the way back from the outing, i have to send him back and he did not have a license btw. All the way back, he keeps on asking wanting to kiss me again (of course i said no) and hold my hand (this one i was ok with it although i was so uncomfortable). It was so creepy dude. I dont know if those things counts as assault or not cus i kinda just went along with it but i was uncomfy. Anyways, hes unhygienic, kinda narcissistic also have anger issues. Everytime we played games together, i cant enjoy shit bcs he keeps on tilting and screaming at randoms. (sometimes he tilts on me) I also have to pick him up and send him back after all of our dates. it was a mess. I learned the hard way after agreeing to date him. but during my relationship with him, im the fucked up one. i owned up to my mistakes and im not gonna leave this part out from this timeline. i cheated on him with some random dude. and i wont justify my actions. cheating is still cheating. he did gave me a second chance and i swear to god i did try my best to be better. i don't blame him for acting more suspicious of me and blaming me for everything. but it gets worse and i got tired. i honestly thought i should've just left instead of asking for a second chance. i realized the reason why i asked for a second chance is just to make up for it. bcs i felt bad. and that's not something i should've done. i should've just left and let him healed. trust me that came up a lot of times but seems like he doesn't want us to end either. so the unhappy and most depressing phase of our relationship got dragged until august 2021.
2021 August: I finally had the courage to end things with him for good. Bcs we both tried to move on from the incident but hes not doing well on his end. He still accused me of things that i didn't do. Question everything i did and yes i got tired. again i don't blame him but Its getting unhealthy and toxic for both of us. He keeps on saying he trusts me and i have become better but still act like we're back to square one. I called quits and he doesn't want to in the beginning. But then i had to lie telling him i have another person in my life. and that was his last straw. He screamed and yelled at me and just ended there like that. I felt bad but i cant stay again bcs i felt bad. Its not right.
2021 September - Present: These timelines are getting me confused ngl cus i really cant remember the exact time. anyways before i broke up with my previous bf, i was in another different circle of friends. I spent most of my time there while trying to escape him. i thought maybe if i distant myself its a lot more easier for me to leave and him to forget me. but yea during that time we actually fought a lot bcs of that. so after the break up i spent all of my time there. and i met this random singaporean dude. we spent all night talking and exchanging songs that we like and watching sitcoms. i remember our first show was The Good Place. Our discord server name is The Good Place where we hang a lot. (ldr things) and yes he knows about my past from A to Z. Basically everything i have wrote so far. We played valorant a lot tgt. I know i know, very short amount of time meeting someone new. but bro he hits different. its definitely the rush, the chasing, the butterflies. i haven't felt like that for a while and well, its bcs of my own fault too. i admit everything happens so fast like very fast. so we start really getting to know each other after dating which is weird and can lead to an easy break up especially we're doing long distance. but im not losing this dude. so i said, fuck it. he did say that he scared long distance would be hard but hes willing to try. i did it before and i want to be better. especially for a guy like him. 2 years has passed and today, 13th April 2023, we're still together and getting engage hopefully end of this year. Life has been great since i met him. Everything is different. he accepts me for who i am, we finish each other's dark humors/jokes. We facetime everyday and never get tired of seeing each other. He met my family and i met his. Although we ldr, we make it work. There's ups and down of course and mostly bcs of me lmao cus i self sabotage a lot liddat. but im working on it. and also, i suck at communicating. mostly bcs i usually keep things to myself during my past relationships. but that's what im working on right now and i hope im doing well. besides that, i am finally content and happy. Not a day goes by i never thought of him. I truly love him and i cant wait for what the future holds for us.
Thanks for reading guys. (im probably talking alone rn)
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August 19th, 2024
Today, I've come to the realization that I cannot let Tim go. Like yeah, he pisses me the fuck off and I absolutely hate that man at times, but there is no way I could let him go. I don't like the way he justifies everything, but it's true. He's contributed positively to my life and has seen the worst of me (which is insane btw. I might need to work on myself but that's just that.) But on the other hand, he wouldn't be where he is today if not for me AND I have seen his dick flaccid.
I got mad at Tim for being on his phone because he has been obsessed with playing NBA 2K or whatever. Like I get t's a stimulation whatever but this man is so obsessed to the point where he times when he regains energy just to play. Like I'm obsessed with the Sims, but there's no way I am on his level where I sit and wait to be able to do things. I have life and shit to do. ANYWAY, he does that and whatever we're doing at the moment gets tossed to the side because of the stupid game which I am sick and tired of. I hate this man SM.
So adding onto that, I got really mad at him and so when my big, Dustin, took me out on Monday, I didn't tell Tim. It was petty, yes, but like if I was already ignoring him, why would I go out of my way to contact him to tell him that? PLUS, he also was going out with his coworkers so like??? Our times wouldn't even intersect. Well, when he found out, he threw a bitch fit because I was "lying." I wasn't bc I cut off contact with him??? Like it would make no sense for me to tell him when it doesn't concern him. And I wasn't lying because I wasn't talking to him. Whatever-- I was super mad at him and then we made up.
TWO DAYS later, he did the same shit. I told him to get off his phone which he said he couldn't because it was important (newsflash: it wasn't!!) I instantly became mad because I fucking told him already. I was having a bad day and he's just adding on to it. He said he apologized, but we're just dancing around in circles. He'll do that again as he previously did two days ago. He let me go home mad!!!! I was okay with it, but then the next day, he left me alone AGAIN to go hang out with his boys.
FUCK THIS MAN FR like what the fuck is actually wrong with him. This man does not love nor care about me.
I finally felt better on Sunday enough to talk and this man had the audacity to leave AGAIN for a family party (that he was invited to last minute. Talk about being unwanted fr but who's counting). Like????????/ Honestly I don't care, but like this man REALLY does not love me. Writing this is pissing me off again. Like why can't I let this man go. He deserves the worst FR.
Books I Read;
Just a Little Love by Kerry Kilpatrick (5.5/10) When I got this book (for free through a SYK day, yay) I did NOT know what I was walking into. I thought it would be a LGBTQ+ and assumed from the BDSM warning, it would be something like a kinky dark romance. BOY WAS I WRONG. This explored the daddy/little kink, which I didn't know was a thing. So I did learn something in a book-- against my will, but I did learn about this. I don't want to be a kink shamer, but I wanted to DNF so badly. Like I don't mind having a caretaker and not worrying about anything because daddy is responsible, but the idea that the little is to channel their inner child is insane. What do you mean they are to wear diapers and color/draw and stuff? Yeah, um no thanks.
Never Lie by Freida McFadden (7.8/10) I love Freida McFadden so much. This book was a little boring and slow paced for me in the beginning, but she never disappoints. What do you mean I never saw it coming? I thought I could smell bullshit, but apparently not. Freida, the woman that you are, thank you. I swear, I thought I knew that the husband had to be a little sus, but he wasn't even the main part of the story. I just know they, as a couple, will not last in the grand scheme of things BUT THATS A DIFF STORY.
Love Unwritten by Lauren Asher (8/10) This was such a cute story of a grumpy single dad x nanny, but it was sooo slow paced and long omg. I definitely was put into a terrible reading slump after, but I had fun reading it. Rafael deserves sm love and he tries giving it to his son but ya know how it goes when he can't. Nico is having a hard time connecting to his dad yet connects so easily with his nanny that his dad is jealous. But as time goes on, his dad forms a connection with the nanny and it is them who hides their relationship from the son. Idk it was so cute yet so long winded.
Redeemed by Lauren Asher (8/10) This is by far my favorite out of the dirty air series. It doesn't have much to do with F1 at all as the MMC is a retired F1 driver, but it was so cute. The love story had to do so much with acceptance and self-esteem. Santiago is retired because of a crash which led him to get a prosthetic leg. He goes about unhappy with his life choices and "what ifs" until Chloe comes along. She helps him realize his potential and pushes him back into the scene and to not hide from the world in embarrassment. Idk, it just meant a lot to me.
A Hockey Boyfriend by Lauren Blakely (8/10) This was an ARC read, and it's only the second book I've read of the authors. The other one I read was a spicy novella so I didn't know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. I usually don't like one night stand books, but this one... chef's kiss. So much tension. And then it goes to brother's teammate. I thought it was good-- nothing special, but the beginning was super cute in my opinion.
The Right Move by Liz Tomforde (8.5/10) Wow, I absolutely loved this one. I HATED the first one so I was hesitant to start this one, but thankfully I did bc it was amazing. Ryan Shay, the man that you are... This is a forced proximity fake dating kind of book and I giggled. It wasn't that spicy at all-- like it was actually very wholesome. Ryan Shay is a grump with his life in order. Indigo is a flying (mess) full of life that blew into his life by accident. They have to fake a relationship, but Ryan finds out that he can do all the tough things by Indie's side and idk it was so cute and sweet.
Tempting the Player by Rebecca Jenshak (7/10) I was highkey disappointed by this one. I loved all of the books in The Campus Wallflowers so I expected to fall in love with this one too, but no. I couldn't connect to the FMC at all like she merely existed. She had a stalker okay and has a mystery bodyguard who she is attracted to. But this man, whew. I was able to connect with him and feel for him. He had a long life planned for him but an injury caused him to look elsewhere which is how he becomes her bodyguard. He has to reconnect with his brothers and town he left behind. I thought this book was meh.
Offtrack by Esha Patel (6/10) Yeah.... no idea how I got through this. I was so disappointed by it. The blurb seemed very interesting and I even followed up on it bc I was excited. Just to find out it was so boring. It was advertised as a romance book which there was some aspect of romance, but it truly wasn't the focus which disappointed me. The focus was her as a female in F1 which I did find interesting, but there were just words like we didn't get to see how poorly Diana, the FMC, was treated in the motorsports world. I couldn't care less about her or the MMC.
Happily Never After (8/10) There were good parts about this book, but maybe I didn't fully enjoy it because I read it as an audiobook. I am such a big fan of Lynn Painter's meet cutes. They met at a wedding!! And then they become partners in crime. I really didn't enjoy the biggest issue because Max, the MMC, was childish and the way he talked to the FMC was very annoying. Like can you speak your feelings??? And he sounded like "whatever I say goes" like calm the fuck down.
Force Play by Lo Everett (7.8/10) I did like this ARC, but I felt like I expected more spice and tension. Dom and Indie was a highly anticipated story when knowing their past from the last book. But we were just given snippets of the night and it kind of goes from hate to love. I didn't get enough banter from them hating each other-- well from Indie at least.
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i think to myself lke. back lke 2 year ago, im like...my friendship with my friends was so good, what happened?
really, i let myself go. i got a lot of disappointment in my regular life (couldnt get disability, more illnesses, treatment failing, family dying) i found that gong to college has helped me so much. because its like...setting a life for myself. getting a routine. having something to wake up for.
when all i wanted to wake up was for my friends, they were the brunt of everything, especially my moodiness that was becoming more & more unstable. i keep wanting to apologize but i hope i can form better wording in my head that articulates what i want to say the most (firstly that it doesnt justify my actions, and secondly, that im not crawling back to rekindle) im kind of stuck with overthnking it, so honestly.......it could be a world where i never directly apologize because i fear what my words sound like
i havent changed in that aspect in that i miss the connotation of my words often...maybe i could show it to my partner for proof reading, but i wouldnt want to involve a lot of people or anything ive accepted this is my human flaw & i continue to try & wrap my head around implications but it doesnt work. i do feel dumb ..oh well what can i do. i try to ask people to ask for clarification if they think something i said was weird (because if my intentions were mean ...i would want to make sure you knew for sure ...LOL.) but if they dont.. dont know what to do. but ive find in college, my friends ask me, they respect that, they make me feel like a human being & not some dumb (insert a barrage of slurs i could call myselfhere). self inflicted words..because i wish i could just learn social shit like a normal person & i feel dumb for not being able to mask this, or be able to study it enough to even pretend like i understand
im happy with the way my life is going now... i went to college, met my partner irl, i havent thought about genuinely kmsing myself in a good while now, like i couldnt go a month or two without planning it in my head, but im...actually doing good? its crazy...even my psych said she was so proud of me today saying she couldve never imagined me how i am today just because of how bad i was. i dont take that as a negative btw cuz thats me past tense. im proud of it.!!! really like, after whatever the fuck happened in august '23 i was like, ok. no more of this shit.
& it worked? i got all As, im in college. holy shit. the several times i would blow up on my friendsin the past into HUGE fights? the most heated i got was exactly one time where i snapped after a long day of being spoken over (by this person that i didnt particularly want to hang out with, as agreed upon with my friend because even that person agreed we didnt have a lot in common) & that...was it??? like im shocked. all my rage . gone . whar. .. & my friends are like.......they ask me what im doing/feeling based on things i do cuz they think im mad (the rbf & monotone voice) & im like oh!! oh my gosh no, im good! im sorry for worrying u & they were like oh! dw just checking. cuz i curated the baddest bitches of autistics who just get it fr . me & my current bestie we just ask each other the most blunt questions to get clarity on situations & i love that 4 us ... hes supa nice. love all my fends . but wow idk im proud of myself & this turned into a ramble where im positive cuz i was acually gettng mad at myself sadge but yea. i do wanna apologize but im afraid of being misconstrued & my paranoia over this manifests into probably never doing it. i got lving with my mother probably to blame fo r that (dont get me started on the shit she pulled over winter break that everyone in my family agrees she is ridiculous for with physical proof ok im reeling
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Ok so finished my first playthru of phantom liberty
And overall id say it was a great DLC, took me around 40+ hours to actually finish and the last few ones were a bit rushed because i /needed/ to know how it ends
I love the brand of hopelessness and cynicism that only cp can bring
Spoilers below
It was more than understood that whatever you do, youre getting fucked
So it was a bit of relief when Songbird was like yea so... only one cure for me u can fuck right off
And man i was with her all the way but i really didnt want to kill Reed
Mans so hot ):
Anyway my reasoning was not lore friendly but rather content hungry friendly
Cause like she said, if you send her off shes getting cured ur getting fuck all so thats where it ends
But if u "betray" her, more content maybe?
Ok so say someone enlists your help under false premises
Then repeatedly endangers your life
And uses you
Repeatedly assuring you "oh this time im fr"
And then they are put in a vulnerable position and you can actually screw them over for once
Would you say that if you did you "betrayed" them?
I mean quite frankly no its not even mean it would be p stupid to just sit there and take it (again)
Weird how the game sees it as you selling your integrity like the accepted alternative is you go with it till the end
Even tho youve been fucked
Anyway
Very happy with the fact that we get another brand new ending
Its like the arasaka ending but lite
Like at least u dont get made into a chip u know
Like the fia heals u nukes johnny and then its been two years of coma and also u cant use fuck i forgot how they call implants
Anyway none of that for you anymore
N thats sososo sad because apparently there's nothing u can do without them implants
So hacking is definitely out of the question
No more double jumps
No more fancy eyes and smart weapons (which imo are like cheating anyway)
But your knowledge? Muscle memory?
I mean stupid of this bitch to go out first thing
But venom could get swole so whats stopping her??
I'm not saying that you can be back to super soldier specs but you can definitely be less pathetic :)
Anyway i think its all going to have to be bittersweet
Not even that its like what the fuck you expected?? Sad sad and pathetic
Like watching someone u knew well becoming a drunk beggar, trying to swindle u out of ur money
Some skills are definitely unrelated to cybernetic implants tho so um
Anyway its quite funny to me that i ended up missing johnny more than she did
Like not even a mention
I want to go with it take Songbird to the shuttle let her escape
Im sure its not going to be much more content but its alright, i would have done it immediately if i knew that the game would eat my saves ): now i started dogtown again but LUCKILY i have a save post ending so i i just repurposed that one
And funny thing this is a save when i had the game modded to the teeth and i forgot i romanced panam (best girl btw) and apparently that carried over ? Lol nice
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bby pls it’s a crime to put “trash” and any of ur fics in the same sentence 😞💗 i finally had time to read it andddd ‼️‼️ honest feelings it was intriguing and omg i felt so bad for yn cuz hee own family was the one hurting her the most her mom was a poor excuse of a human. a waste of resources in the world 👹 and like wtf how could u look at hee and be like “meh imma js use him and then leave” I WOULD SLAP MYSELF OKAY? like what’s wrong with the mom 🫥
the whoep storyline was like soooo good aaaaaa they things they did behind the mom’s heehhehehe so hot. but when hee “broke it off” omgg my heart broke for them. not them both hiding the fact that they were hurting sigh the angst hit hard BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT CUZ WE GOT TO SEE JEALOUS STEPDADDY HEE AHAHAHHA he’s so possessive i love like imagine being called “my princess” “my girl” and he fucking claimed her pussy and her whole being essentially ‼️ (toxic behavior for irl men but it’s hee soooo we can turn a blind eye heheheh) and i loveeee how u made yn pretend like that disgusting bully was actually her bf js to make hee jealous ehehehhehhe they’re so silly i love them
however…there were some parts i feel like u could’ve elaborated or written more? BUT THATS JS CUZ I WANT TO READ MORE OF UR AMAZING WRITING 😣🫶🏻
oh and also one last thing (sorry) when hee said he had cameras all over the house so that they have evidence of the abuse and stuff 👀 so…he basically also has footage of yn and him fucking…all over the house…in all sorts of positions 👀 AAAAAAAA I SQUEALED IDEK IF THATS TRUE BUT IF IT IS IDK THATS KINDA HOT
Ok i’m done for now i js wanted to express how much i liked it 😞🫶🏻‼️💗
ily muah pls take care of urself 💞
Why do I lowkey like the mom tho? Lmao 😂 I mean she’s a bitch of course but the way she treated hee was like ?? I think I went overboard 😭 especially with the whole “you’re not her real dad” her to toxicity was off the charts
But then hee is kinda stupid for staying with her for so long but the poor man was so in love and just wanted his little family to stay together even if she was treating him like less than trash and giving him zero attention 😞
And same I had to take out so many parts cause the dots just weren’t connecting I still think I could have done a bit more of a backstory but by the time I tried I was too far into the story so I just had to go with it and do the best I could
The first sex scene was so so different from the initial one but I think the one I used was better
That being said though y/n has been through the mud ☹️ and the part where hee broke things off that’s what I wanted to go into more detail about but i couldn’t word it better to save my life (real) and I still can’t even describe it 😐
But overall I’m glad everyone seemed to enjoy it I’m just a little bit disappointed with this one 🫤
Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate it you’re one of a kind 💙 hope you have a good day today!!!!
Btw yes them fucking is on camera too 🫣
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Yeah i mean "arrogance is fucking stupid, pride only leads to shame" has been a prominent theme of dragon ball in general until like- Super, but otherwise it started really early on along with the martial arts stuff and Goku had to be involved ofc! Roshi entered and won the first tournament exclusively to teach Goku and Krillin humility which yknow they EVENTUALLY learn fr and it becomes one of Goku's key features!
So like nowadays Goku has this whole thing where yknow even if he enjoys fights and he has a lot of fun when its not the earth or lives on the line (sometimes even when it is) he takes them seriously and respects his opponents and expects to be respected the same and trusts they will play fair (which is one of his flaws! Goku is not overconfident abt himself but instead too trusting of his opponents!) and he learns that thru indulging in a bit of asshole-ery as a kid/preteen that he's picked up from all the people he's fought and/or allied himself with
and by the time he turns into a proper teenager he's already grown into a much closer version to the current Goku who yknow has self reflected on his time away about all the asshole-ery and all the ultimately useful shit for life that Roshi somehow taught him and has put the whole "Haha i'm so strong im the best no one can beat me" thing behind (he does still get a little silly with it tho).
And that's like the "dragon ball thing ever" like, proven by:
Vegeta's loser status before the motherfucker even dared to hug his son because he was a bitch
Future Trunks' stupid grade 3 saiyan being absolute shit because it was all strength and he didn't focus on other also important things and got too carried away and thought he could fucking kill Cell himself (he couldn't)
TALKING ABT CELL: VEGETA AGAIN BEING A BITCH LETTING CELL TRANSFORM (i love vegeta but he is, yknow, a bitch)
Gohan in the Cell saga getting too cocky in Ssj2 and almost getting everybody killed (and Goku DID die)
so like that is a dragon ball thing that happens all the time and carries over to Z, Toriyama kept Vegeta alive cuz he "was useful" to keep the whole "pride is fucking stupid" train going.
And like proof of this very important lesson Goku learned is when Goku lowkey did THAT (getting wordy angyCRUSH FRIEZA'S HAND) on Namek when Krillin got killed and his reaction was to tell Gohan to run when he transformed into a super saiyan because he didn't feel like (virtuous, honorable, somewhat rational in the whole not killing people department) himself and was afraid he couldn't control the form.
"Do as i tell you right now! before i lose whatever little sense of reason i have left" He knows he's going off the fucking rails like many villains would when on the verge of defeat, frieza being one of 'em. (btw i think thats the line he tells gohan in the kai dub in english idk i watched it in spanish)
Point is the guy now knows that getting angry like he just did and start shit-talking your opponents isn't like, a good thing (but like hes not very much in control so he still does it yknow how da supah saiyan is), and he tries to restrain himself at least a little when he totally bodies Frieza (he "makes him pay" but doesn't kill him), for many reasons, some of those being that wasting time flaunting was not a good idea (and lowkey the first beats of the fight proved that by the fact that frieza fires that stupid fucking PLANET EXPLODE NOW ball and now they are on a true time limit)}
And even when Super completely assassinates Goku in certain ways he still says stuff like "No i don't wanna be a god of destruction that's fucking boring!! the Tournament Of Power showed me strong people AND I'M REALLY EXCITED AND I WANNA TRAIN AND GET STRONGER!!!" in the Broly movie! very much in character! as Goku has also rejected the Kami position before :) (edit: the point is showing goku has that mentality of "i'm not the strongest and i kinda dont wanna be cuz that would be pretty boring but i fucking love martial arts and you can always get better so im still training!" and is not like frieza levels of "I AM THE STRONGEST I DONT NEED TO FUCKING TRAIN" or like old vegeta, which was most likely kept alive to make this comparison even if toriyama hated his pussy)
Sorry for the dragon ball values info dump but this was one of the things i learned from the show as a kid and stuck with me all the way to wherever the fuck i am now
I’m watching a subbed dragon ball and I DO NOT KNOW how to word this eloquently / I have no screenshots of proof so I’m just wondering if anyone else has seen dragon ball and has noticed this?
In the Piccolo Daimao arch Goku straight-up has some shit to say. Before he was all young and childish and goofy, and when it came to words he STRAIGHTFORWARD in a fight - when serious, he would state outright that he doesn’t have the patience for his opponents boasts + hedges + insults + general repartee.
But at the turn of the arch it seemed like the shock and grief of Kuririn’s death affected Goku immediately, and he suddenly had words to say. He began acting more like what we see in the BAD GUYS - the attitude that denotes their weakness and is assurance of their later defeat.
Of course the memories are fuzzy by now but off of the top of my head: He called Yajirobe a bastard, to which Yajirobe responded with his debut of “Hey, that’s my line!” He also was rash to assume that Yajirobe was his enemy, but that’s because well, he just got his shit thrashed by Cymbal, and he’s not thinking straight through the grief and pain and all.
I just kept seeing little things like that throughout the arch - like the grief had loosened his tongue, or matured him, or he’s just ageing naturally - Goku engages in repartee now all of a sudden. I feel dumb because I have no solid memories now but just believe me. When he was fighting Piccolo he said some shit that had me clutch my pearls to see coming from him. Altogether, Goku is exhibiting a newfound WIT WITH and FAVOR FOR words, and a confidence that when laced with his anger and impatience almost comes across as arrogance.
My most recent (and therefore, extant) example is when Goku is facing Mr Popo. Just in the little I’ve seen thus far, he’s sort of acting like a classic dragon ball villain E.G. loser. When Mr Popo is able to land the first hit on him, Goku actually blames it on dumb luck, and assures himself that it won’t happen again. Yknow, like all the villains do when Goku is able to land a hit on them.
And then he actually starts to insult his opponent. Yknow, the type of behavior that Goku used to not have patience for, and used to be too virtuous/mature/honorable for, and he would at times ask his opponent to cease with the hot talk and to get on with the fight.
Goku is straight up sloppy, arrogant, and IMPATIENT in this fight thus far, and the shit he lets himself think is too close to the shit that always ends up costing some villain a victory.
I know this wasn’t eloquent, and I know that I failed to offer sufficient proof, but I’m wondering if anyone else noticed this as well and has some thoughts on it. It feels like a lot of things.
Goku is still caught up in the grief and pain of the ARDUOUS ORDEALS he just went through. It’s more to ask of anyone ever, and now he’s gotta do one more fucking thing. And we can understand his impatience, then. Furthermore, it does just feel like he’s gotten older. Maybe his brain is hardening, and all of his victories are catching up to his ego. He’s not his usual self of awe and admiration for a strong opponent - he’s seen life and death too INTIMATELY these past days and he’s TENSE. In all of this he’s found his words and is playing along with the warrior’s repartee that he’s been exposed to by battle after battle.
Did anyone else notice anything similar and take start by it?
#this might also not make sense im like on my new meds#because what neurotypical non-medicated guy writes about dragon ball and goku like this#also im guessing#ROSHI FOR BLACKLIST!!!#we hate his pussy here but also he did one good thing:#make goku a better person#still forever awed at that
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Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.
Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.
Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.
If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.
In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.
It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.
Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.
It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.
Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.
I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.
And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.
This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.
As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.
And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.
My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.
And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.
So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.
I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.
To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.
Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...
We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.
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get to know me game!!
tagged by: @tyunni
tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe
what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")
what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy
what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')
do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though
how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.
how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️
favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)
favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??
what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO
do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately
have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone
bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered
what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS
favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)
how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!
what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe
what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.
what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes
have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒
favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh
favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((
do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol
are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol
what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉
what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me
innie or outtie? gots an innie :]
left or right handed? right
favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM
favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD
are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though
most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)
how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL
do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions
do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day
are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps
biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️
are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?
do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes
favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets
introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://
what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude
who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)
how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP
what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!
do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much
what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often
do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO
what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??
what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad
what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^
what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too
#🏷.tagged#🍓.moots#THIS WAS SOO FUNNN#THANK U TYUNNI FOR TAGGING ME#ACK#I HOPE someone reads this OTHERWISE ILL BE EMBARRASSED#or like dont#THERES SO MUCH TMI IN THERE OMG
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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333
HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)
YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤
CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW
SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗
12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU
HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)
FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS
LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️
YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨
NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖
OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺
AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO
AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.
BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫
FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((
that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭
LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????
OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.
YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭
AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33
AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((
AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine
AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌
GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL
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An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness
I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?
So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)
ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.
And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)
And it destroyed me.
For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)
I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.
Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))
(i’m serious, this is fucking long)
__________
Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff
This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive
What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again
Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever
I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay
This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd
He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist
Save my babyyyy
Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee
This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it
Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep
It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.
yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot
hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???
also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY
they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds
like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho
i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it
[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]
I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks
WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad
OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too
OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly
I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY
I'M :((((
different species confirmed
I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP
someone help him he looks so saddddd
not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT
AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft
PFFF
I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((
awww
i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together
OH OH THEY'RE KISSING
best buildup, honestly
the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute
D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed
i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow
Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this
hELP
chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao
[Noah was jealous]
w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs
oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever
DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha
okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION
They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED
understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so
tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot
hooo
they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too
[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]
which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy
on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS
SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY
OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO
look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS
how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn
[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]
WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd
cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly
dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs
oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds
this is the best 3 panels in existence.
h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you
[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]
awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this
"well im not okay"
MY BABIESSSS
they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd
[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O
N OOOO
this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE
:((( babyyyy
I AM EMO
Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED
OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child
i am so emo about this
[reminder he’s been abused TvT]
[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]
i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((
he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD
I AM SO SAD
No
NO
It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy
[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]
what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh
I’M
I’M SO SAD
now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god
I'M :(((
NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO
N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE
Im. gonna cry more
Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again
[mei: p-probably not, no]
i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha
BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo
[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]
OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING
its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((
[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee
and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE
I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE
im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much
[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]
dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit
[mei: THAT TOO]
[...]
tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character
i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that
pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet
[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]
yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho
[...]
i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots
[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]
okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace
ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing
[... removed some general confusion about the plot]
YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.
i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD
okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??
one good message
why
did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]
im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year
why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING
[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]
its an experience allright WELL
_______________
yup that’s it.
in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.
That’s it.
Have a nice day.
#an innocent sin#dohye x noah#noah x dohye#long post#tori talks#tori has opinions#reactions#yes I do this often in our dms#poor mei#toriqueue
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