#thats not work or class. lets hope i remember to do most of this

[trans-axolotl]

also i need to remember to go pick up more narcan bc i just ran out again. will put that on my to do list for the week. wait maybe i'll just write out my new tasks list for week instead of trying to just remember this all in my head

tues:

pick up testosterone prescription

IOF off campus protest

stretching routine + flexibility and splits

weds:

get more narcan

ask MT if i can borrow her heels and try on

interview for keynote speaker event

check in with youth activist group + see what support they need

harm reduction sh skillshare

stretching routine + flexibility and splits

thurs:

wheelchair skills practice if time.

check in about abolition in psychiatry panel.

stretching routine + flexibility and splits

fri:

grocery shopping. restock first aid kit also bc S used up like half the supplies.

laundry

psych abuse article research

stretching routine + flexibility and splits

sat:

harm reduction outreach on the van

day of action beforehand if can get to outreach in time

sun:

rest rest rest

embroidery project time perhaps!

rest. rest. rest.

make plans for rest of week (thesis work)

[starzshopoflove]

Simon "ghost" Riley x Reader

Notes: fem reader! i hc ghost doesn't wear a mask when he's off duty, this is just whatever rot my mouse brain creates, age gap but not to crazy, sfw mostly ,size kink if you squint, literally just me projecting onto reader sorry

no thoughts just ghost meeting cute little civvie reader in a shop when he's just trying to get his shopping done after coming back from a mission just wanting to fill his fridge with enough beer and groceries that vaguely resemble food

Simon watching you struggle to reach the flour from a set high shelf in the aisle, grumbling to yourself about "who fucking needs flour anyway" still trying to reach it and he just pluck it off the shelf and drops it in your cart before making his way to another aisle and your just left looking stupid watching this giant trudge away with a little blue tesco basket in tow

Simon who notices you at the same book shop he frequents, but your perched behind the counter doing god knows what ( vaguely resembles inventory but hey do what you will) calculator in hand as he peeks from behind a bookshelf trying to remember where he's seen you before.

Civvie reader who passes her days working quietly in a book shop and living in a simple one room flat indulging her romantic needs in fiction too nervous to actually talk to men, fictional ones satisfying her needs better. That is until you see some books on the counter sliding over to scan them.

"Your total's 23.55" you mumble looking at the screen "Cash or Card?" you add before lifting your head to meet the brick wall of a muscle man. Oh OH, no thoughts as you just stare at his pecs in your line of sight thanking whatever god you believe in for the sight before you, better then anything your little brain could muster up even with the detailed descriptions authors would spit out onto the pages you read

You violently peel your eyes away from the most beautiful pair of man tits you've ever seen to see what man was the owner, and by god do you wish you werent so bad around men. I mean the wind practically got knocked out of your lungs as you let out a barely audible squeak watching this man fish in his pockets for his wallet

Messy blonde hair that was in that weird phase of curly but not really, a nose that looks like its seen a good fight, deep set brown eyes, and a few healed scars settled on the skin. Aged but like wine, a really really fine wine

"Right, cash" His hands fiddling through the wallet to pull out the bank notes, while you prayed you didnt look like a hunger dog staring at his hands as they placed the cash on the counter.

Simon who watches the little bookshop employee look like she just got punched in the gut and was trying not groan as she quickly rang him up, Do i smell? he thinks to himself

Simon who watches your smaller hands shuffle the cash into the register, noting how they're free of calluses, nailed neat and slightly grown, soft.

Simon who leaves the bookstore thinking of a excuse to go again tomorrow, not to see the bookshop girl or anything, he has his reasons!! he just hasn't thought of it yet!!

You start looking up from your notes for your class when the shop bell jingles hoping to see the mystery man whos built exactly like your favorite webcomic character but with the gruff and mature aura of that mc from the game your friend made you play that you cant quite remember. Only disappointed when its just another customer , until later in the day the man returns again.

But its much later in the day and you've switched on the shops warm lights, turning off the ac letting the place warm up as you hear the door jingle again, mystery man making his way to the counter your eyes following his every step, meaty thighs

You who perks up when his forearms settle at the counter suddenly eyes locking onto yours and suddenly very glad you tidied up a bit today, tinted chapstick, perfume, cleaner turtle neck, lashes, lipgloss, earrings ahm

"Tesco" he grumbles out unmoving

"what" well thats not what you were expecting to hear

"You were the girl , couldnt reach the flour yeah?" oh that was him

"Oh, that was you? thank you?" oh what the fuck were you supposed to say?? oh thank you freakishly tall man who watched me struggle?? let me take your whole cock in my mouth while you call me a good pet feeding your meaty length down my throat??

"Yeah" Simon didnt think to much on what to do now, gaze getting awkward now that hes got his confirmation

"Did you need anything" you finally broke the silence, god its fuckin tense in here and hes so close, you wanna just get a sniff but thats hardly workplace behavior doesn't matter if its your dads shop or not.

"Mhm, ye got any cook books?"

"yeah, section 12, shelf 9" whos he cooking for? his wife? i dont see a ring? maybe a long time girlfriend?? who wouldnt snatch up this actual beefcake

"Thanks, tryna cook something new for myself. Flats been quiet" He mumbled like speaking too much would give him a headache

SImon purchased his books same stare at the girls hand like last time as she took his money. God do something you look like a creep staring at this poor girls hands.

"Got a notepad luv?" again that same punched face returned, is she alright? he thought to himself

Oh he just called me luv oh fuck dont wheeze dont wheeze just hand him the pen and paper like a good employee, come on. Oh god dont stare at his arms, are those tattoos oh my god

Sliding back the notepad simon made pace of grabbing his cook book a slipping out the shop just as quick as he went in

You who looked at the notepad almost slipping back out of your chair

"Simon 44 xxx xxx xxx"

Children were singing, the angels sang their songs, the trees regrew in that parking lot down the street, healthcare in america was just made free, and you just got the phone number of a man built like a double door fridge that you have every intention of climbing

[msxrik]

. . ."Ill give you a real lesson". . .

☾ Content- /oral, dom!male!reader, slutshaming, virgin/subby!Idia, overstimulation, orgasm denial, fingering,/dubcon

☾ Pairing- Idia x Male/afab/reader. (the reader is from savanaclaw cuz jock x loser is the best and yeah the reader has ears and a tail. And idia has makeup on idk if his lips r blue naturally but)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Idia was nowhere to be seen for the last... days, weeks even. You started to worry about him as you two grew a little closer after ditching P.E once a week, he hates sports and you're just lazy. Now that you think about it, you haven't seen him since Crowley decided to add sex-ed classes, and during the first class you caught him staring. not that you mind....

You decided to go to his dorm later that day knocking on his door

"On god Ortho i told you im fine! and yees im doing ALL my work, im not playing games non stop!!"

yeah yeah of course... after a short while you entered the room as quiet as you could hoping you could scare him... oh my god it smelled awfull in there, and you know exactly what smells like that, god damnit he was jerking off for the last week, and he didnt even bother to throw away most of the used tissues. and you were so worried???

"c'mon nerd we're going to my place" you slurred out as he turned around fucking petrified.

"how did you-"

"your fucking deaf you know that? come on it smells disgusting in here..." a single drop of sweat ran down his face, he got so nervous as he got up and followed you to savanaclaw, he was hiding behid you the whole walk, when you finally reached your room it was getting dark outside. He sat down on your bed playing with his fingers mumbling something to himself.

"sooo why did you bring me here....?" he asked nervously looking everywhere but at you.

"remember that sex ed lesson last week? the one you were staring at me for the 45 minutes we sat there?''

"yeah.. no! i mean no. i wasnt lookingat you i was-"

"you were what? maybe you were thinking about me fucking you?"

idia officialy lost it he looked like he was about to pass out. As he was looking at the floor boards you got on the bed and sat right behind him leaning your face on his shoulder, he jumped slightly as you whispered to his ear.

"what? i mean you missed one lesson so maybe ill tutor you? so you dont get behind??"

"o-oh god, n-no im fine, really- m-mnhh~.." he yelped as you gently brushed your fingers across his hardening cock,

"oh come on, how old are ya' its pathetic you know, you never touched anybody beside yourself.... ill take good care of you~"

after a short moment of silence he nodded his head, still too flustered to say anything. as you sat him down between your legs undoing your belt.

"go ahead, use that knowledge from your pathetic little novels"

For some reason your words only aroused him more, he moved closer to you, his shaky hands lowered your boxers and you hummed gently when your lenght rested on his face, the pure shock on his face only made it better.

"What. Never seen a dick before? Or is it to big."

"t-thers no way thats gonna fit- it won- M-Mnh...~" he moaned as you slipped your tip past his lips

"come on open up that pretty mouth of yours"

He eventually did hiding his pride in his pocket bobbing his head gagging slightly when you hit the back of his throat, blue lipstick allover your lenght

"Fuuck your so bad at this" you tangled your hands into his hair as it turned that pretty pink color.

"are you getting off on this? God you really are a loser. A perverted one too"

You pressed the tip of your shoe on his crotch earning a loud yelp from him as you giggled at his reaction. You held his head in place as you fucked his throat

"fuck gonna cum...~" you pulled out pumping your lenght over his face, as he opened his mouth so you can avoid making a mess

"thats a good boy~"

"W-wha- Y-Y/n.. owhh~ t-this is.. Humiliating g-god."

He licks you lets say "clean" after you finish avoiding eye contact at all cost. You pulled him in bending him over on your knee sliding two of your fingers covered in all the cum he missed knuckles deep inside him as he whined

"you are feeling good tho? I can feel your dick twitch against my leg, never knew you were such a slut.."

He cried out in response, making a mess allover your black sweatpants

"c-cumming..F-fuuuck... Mnh Y-y/n im-"

"did you just come over my fingers? Or was it the degradation? God 'ya really are a pervert"

You flipped him over making him face the pillows sticking his ass out

"c'mon beg for me Shroud."

His hair turned another shade of pink as you sat back looking at him waiting for his cute little stutters and his begging.

"do i h-have to..? Cant you j-just do it.."

"You earn it or im leaving you like that"

"who's the pervert here...." He sighed out as he spread his ass before you

" h-hmph.... p-please Y-y/n... 'need you so badly. " He bearly hiccked up that out all flustered

"well that will do it. Thats a good little boyy~"

You said walking up to him slamming your hips against his. He was so sensitive to your touch tears running up his face

"i-i hoped mnh.. i would t-top you y-ya know.. but this feels g-good mmhm.. k-keep going please..." He was fucked dumb saying such things wich you knew you will tease him about later.

"fuck. G-gonna cum.." he moaned out

"me too.. fuck you got so tight..."

Your pace got so sloppy you didnt even pull out cumming deep inside him.

"F-fuuck... Y-y/n u-ugh...

After you catched your breath you lay down next to him.

"what are you looking so cocky for?" He asks slamming a pillow in your face

"Pftt-Haha sorry sorry... Should i help you ot to the toilet-"

"N O." he almost screamed when you said that he was already embaressed as it was..

"hate you" he said in a loving voice

"love ya too little flame"

[ieatsaltychildren]

REPLACED

Obey me x replaced!reader

I did use she/her pronouns in this. Theres not a ton of dialogue and was honestly part of a vent💀 Remember that I’m in no way trying to romanticize any of this.

TW!- mentions of an eating disorder, suicide, overdose, death, probs OOC, angst no comfort.

Some songs I listened to while writing this- Rock Bottom-Eminem, The way I am-Eminem, 4 morant- doja cat, Alone-doja cat, 25 to life-eminem. Literally these on repeat😭

Life is hard. We all know this, but why did this have to happen? Why did she have to come along and take them away? Why did they choose to leave me?

I shouldn’t have trusted them. The one time i let my guard down and this happens. Mila, the bitch who took them away. I was nice to her, i tried to be her friend, i wanted to get to know her but apparently she only wanted to see my downfall and the brothers kneeling for her.

I don’t like talking about when she first came, but for the backstory i will. Diavolo thought it would be a good idea to invite another human to be an exchange student. At first i was overjoyed. I wanted to have another human girl to talk to and relate to, but once she showed up everything went wrong. She started framing me for shit she did, and i just stood there and took the scolding i got.

Eventually all the brothers just went to her and ignored me. They only talk to me if they need something done or they yell at me. I still always try to get them to love me, yet i always fail.

She even was able to get the angels, royals, Solomon, mephisto, and even Thirteen and Raphael on her side. Everyone left me. Every day is just a repeat. Wake up late most days, have lucifer remind me of how much of a failure i am, skip breakfast, go to classes, probably skip lunch, go to classes, go back to hol, force myself to eat dinner, eat dinner in my room, and sleep. Every day. Theres nothing to be excited about when i wake up anymore. No more hanging out with mammon, no more being levis player two, no more sleepovers with asmodeus. The only one who remotely cared about me was barbatos. Maybe he could help me get back to the human world but it wouldn’t be any better.

What hurt most was mammon, my first man leaving me. He swore. He fucking swore that he would always love me yet he still left me. We weren’t even dating so why does it have to hurt so much.

Even fucking beelzebub. He always acts so sweet but he left to. They all did. Maybe its good mila came along. She showed me that they weren’t trustworthy. It still hurts though.

I just want it all to be over with. If liliths not gonna kill me then I’ll do it myself.

My lifes been shit anyways. It never got better. It sucks to always wake up stressed. It sucks to always be hoping and praying that ill just die. Mila coming along and replacing me just added onto it.

I have attempted at my life multiple times since she came. Never has it worked. But maybe that will change soon. Maybe that will change tonight. I wonder how long it would take them to even notice, they didn’t notice my failed attempts so why would they notice a successful one. I wonder how they would react, the royals, angels, every single one of them. I already know mila would be happy. Maybe they would feel the same.

The laughter of the brothers and mila snaps me out of my daze. It reminds me of the short lived happiness i once had. The happiness i wish i still had. But soon it would all be over. Once the pills fully kick in I’ll finally be happy.

I have tried overdosing before. It didn’t work last time but it should work now. I have a good feeling. Or maybe thats just the drugs. I didn’t even write a goodbye note to them yet. It’s fine though.

Hearing their laughter in my final moments hurt but felt so good at the same time. It’s kicking in. It’s finally working. Ill be free.

My vision got blurry. I could only hear a distorted version of their voices that eventually faded out. Then it all went black. Its the end

Im free

———————————————————————

It had been a few days since you died. No one knew until 4 days had passed. Mammon needed to borrow money from you for diavolo knows what.

He knocked on your door “Y/nnn, open up I need to ask ya somethin”

No response

He knocked again and yelled “y/n?”

No response

So he went to tell lucifer. I don’t know if he intended on telling on you or was concerned. Probably the first option.

“Lucifer, y/n won’t open her door”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lucifer sighed sick of his brother’s shit.

“I just need to get some grimm from her”

“Just go in. She’s probably just sleeping”

“Fine then” mammon replied starting to walk out the door.

As he approached your door he got a certain nervous feeling. He just ignored it, nothing bad could happen, right? Wrong.

As soon as he opened your door he saw you dead on the floor, drug bottle in hand.

He stood there frozen. How could this happen?? He was supposed to protect you. He was your first man. He hopes you were just passed out but deep down he knew.

He ended up calling for his brothers. This is the one time they really actually looked at you in months, hell almost a year. Mila was happy, as expected but she covered it up with tears.

Soon solomon, the royals, and angels showed up. Raphael, thirteen, and mephisto even showed up.

They all realized how shitty they treated you. They realized how badly they fucked up.

———————————————————————

I might honestly make another ending where y/n keeps pushing and ends up fucking mila up or goes back to the human world and tries to get her shit straight. Im not sure tho. Might do how they would react too y/n dying AND where you went after you died. I wrote this for 3 hours straight😭😭😭 my hands are cramping

MAYBE THE END

[calhanx]

Please let me make a fansession with these dumbasses. Do you have Dream moons or even classpects?

nothing official yet since im still in the process of adding more socials to the mix but for now my very rough draft is

tumblr — prospit (page of life)

4chan — prospit (prince of hope)

twitter — derse (thief of heart)

tiktok — derse (bard of time)

reddit — prospit (seer of rage)

instagram — prospit (maid of space)

deviantart — derse (heir of void)

youtube — derse (knight of light)

as for my reasoning, pages tend to suffer from their aspect being taken from them or suffering from other people's manifestation of the PAGE's aspect. tavros's agency was always taken away by vriska. jake was everyones crush in the alpha kids group (one of hopes domain is sexuality and crushes. so its like they had hopes for jake) and it ended horribly. and horuss was often told off by meulin to keep a facade of smiles and politeness (voiding him even FURTHER). or whatever i dont remember much.

and yknow tumblr is like. why the hell does everyone think this site is dead? its cause twitter got most of the userbase when the porn ban happened. then BAM suddenly folks wanna get a piece of tumblr cause theyre all suffering under annoying billionaires (luxury is a domain of life, but can also be a source for doom).

as for 4chan. well ok im not familiar with 4chan but their vibes pretty similar to eridan so lets go with that.

twitter is a thief of heart because they always steal content from other sites (technically most sites do this) and its got a culture of being mean all the damn time even to earnest (heart) things. and i guess because of the short shelf life of tweets and trends, its impossible for most of its userbase to really make an identity? excpet for the influencers on there lol idk. so theres this lack of their aspect, which is a thing thieves go through and is something that causes them to always seek said aspect. still tentative!

tiktok is a bard of time because they invite destruction to time. they waste your time. they waste other peoples time. thats literally how its built. even its trends and culture make ME (personal opinion) go "why am i being subjected to this i dont care stop wasting my time". they dont last long either or at least dont stay relevant (to ME)

reddit. idk thats the place where smarty know it alls go. and yknow the challenge for seers is that they have to learn how to be wrong and EFFECTIVELY communicate with their teammates (kankri failed on both accounts. kept shitting on porrim. pre retcon rose failed on the latter because yknow alcoholism. retcon rose eeeeeh didnt really have a choice in improving herself on her own cause vriska did it for her but hey if it works it works i guess). if you make reddit into a person, seer feels like an appropriate class. also i picked rage for them because rage = truth. also lots of trolls on there, both in provoking rage through silly funnies, real life stories, real life but Insane stories, or legit fucked up stuff.

instagram is the maid of space because idk its vibes make me think porrim would like it. tentative idk much about it. all i know is that its very prospit-y because it requires the user to have a looot of grit to maintain their acc because of their shitty "post regularly" algorithm. at least from what i remember.

deviantart is heir of void because they are like equius. i think you get it. horses. sweat.

youtube is a knight of light because its culture revolves around its content creators! and yknow ccs gotta put up a front to entertain ya. its light because of its content! they literally need and breathe your attention. sometimes has educational stuff (knowledge) sometimes is just shitposts (attention) sometimes its really cool impressive stuff like speedrunning and gaming (victory/luck) sometimes its just funny challenges (success over goals). so putting all this together and makin a person out of it its like oh! theyre going to be sooooooo dysfunctional

anyway lots of this is still not finalized but feel free to do what ya want! socialstuck is free to share and im always glad to find folks makin stuff about it :]

[delcakoo]

i’m sure most ppl expected this so i’m not gonna make a big deal out of it but!! yes i am going on hiatus for an unspecified amount of time.

it’s honestly quite simple, i’ve just been losing interest in most aspects of kpop aside from the music, which makes writing for it a lot harder than before. i also dealt with a lot of burn out for months and still forced myself to write which only made it worse. lastly, i’m an executive of two clubs at my school this year on top of all my classes, so finding time to write would be even worse than it was before :’) !

YEAh that’s kinda it! for now my works will stay up, moots can dm me for my disc/spotify!! even if we’ve barely spoken pspsps i wanna stalk ur music cmere 🤲 a special shout out to my emoji anons too, you’re all amazing people ilysm, especially those that have been stuck with me for so long <3 (u know who u are!!)

i’ll try and check in here every so often to chat, esp if a new comeback for enha/txt happens!! love u guys and stay safe <3 you may send an ask if u have any questions!

extra stuff i wanna say to moots below! (it’s all word vomits i’m sorry)

RAVEN. MY WIFEY. my BELOVED blr wont let me tag u but you already know i adore u sm playing roblox with u is so fun even if that one banana game was kinda ass!! 💖 thank u for being so so sweet when putting up with me all the time and raising our fav corgi daughter with sm love <3 i hope u get more confidence in ur writing because your fics are always so creative and well written, and in yourself too bc a certain mf thats name starts with J and ends with N is MISSING OUT. 🙄🙄 ok im still gna be annoying u all the time so. bye ig….. smooches

@seongclb katto u deserve an award for putting up with me in dms ilysm 😞 watching the promised neverland together brought me so much joy and i still have a ss of you calling gilda a tractor ok i love u!!!! i would read your fics all day any day u are so talented and ur photography skills are amazing, i hope we get to keep in touch WE SHOULD FIND ANOTHER SHOW TO WATCH TGTHER !!!!! i need to fix your lack of anime knowledge ‼️ PLS KEEP WRITING AS WELL ENHABLR NEEDS U!!!!

@soov reirei my gf i aspire to be as confident and funny as you, you’re literal sunshine and always make my day better even with just one interaction <3 thank u for being so welcoming my first days in walmart enha and raising sushiwon with me!! as well as entertaining me by dying in genshin every 3 seconds <3 (WE NEED TO PLAY AGAIN) oh and KEEP WRITING BB. i will rise from THE DEAD WHEN IT COMES OUT OK U CAN DO THIS ML!!

@haknom kangaroo karaoke keys we may have had only a few convos but they were all so fun like PLAYING BRAWL STARS WAS HILARIOUS we ate the house down in duo showdown idc. and beta reading ur fics was such a treat esp while watching u plan new smaus every other day 🫶 also your music taste is MUWAH gimme some more recs pspsps !!! KEEP WRITING OKKK?!

@kynrki kimmy kimmy kim one of my first ever moots <3 your writing is always such a joy to read and your energy is amazing, thank you for giving me a chance when i was too shy to ask anyone else to be moots LMAO 🫶 plsplss keep writing you’re so gifted and deserve the whole world LOVEE UU

@bitehee cavvy my big sibling :((( i love u sm kshsdknd its been a while but i really hope everything has been well since you moved and you’re still being as cool as ever <3 im gonna replay a pokemon game in ur honor perhaps mystery dungeon 👁️ ? anyway i look up to u and think u are so cool, one of my fav hee stans ever ever!!! remember u have my disc if u ever wanna chat 🫂 !!!

@sunoksunny sunny <3 my other gf. i remember our first vc u had this goofy pfp i cant remember what it was but like u are so easy to talk to and funny?! and PRETTY??? your fits are always stunning and your singing is beautiful ugh the whole package fr… and. we need. to play. genshin!!! I REDOWNLOADED IT FOR U OK WE WILL DISCUSS THIS SOON!! ILY

@slytherinshua ZANNY. u are so easy to talk to we match each others energy so perfectly?!? I HOPE U AND TUALHA CONTINUE BEING THE COOLEST EVER and ur writing is top tier so pls keep going‼️ thank u for being so sweet to me as another one of my very first moots i appreciate u sm <3333

@flwrshee riri !!! we haven’t even been moots for long but i had to add u in here because u need to know that ILYSM. you’re like an adorable energetic little sister that always makes me smile T-T thank you for taking time out of your day to reblog my fics with so much sweet feedback and i wish u the absolute best always!! if u ever need anything pls dm me on disc i would love to chat with u more, and make sure to keep writing bc u have SO much talent!!!!

@wonieleles sia SIA i genuinely miss talking to u sm i NEED to come back to walmart enha :(( we don’t talk much besides our little interactions in the server but each time you make me smile. you’re so so smart and admirable, i hope you keep up the hard work bc i know you’ll go so far and HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE!! you’re so beautiful okay ily 😞🫶

@sultrybaby kel 😭😭😭💖💖 you’ve literally been a day one THANK YOU for always checking in on me even during your ridiculous NONSTOP EXAMS. 💀 another one of my big siblings on here fr you are such a real one and i care for u sm!!! i hope everything has been well for u?! pls feel free to message me for anything okay <3 I LOVE U SM thank u for sticking with me all this time 🫂🫂

i have so many moots so i can’t write smthn for everyone but i love u all okay <3 AGAIN if u wanna keep in touch thru spotify or discord dm me muwah

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 16: WOOYOUNG

wc: 5242

warnings: mention of death, violence, drugs etc, SMUT

prev chapter

***

san

i remembered that wooyoung was afraid. he was scared of what would happen if miss A ever found out he shot mingi and deliberately antagonized a hotshot black dragon. looking back, i thought the black dragons would be anatagonized anyway because we caused shit in their side of town to get yunho back, it shouldnt be this big of a deal.

so why are so many bad things happening?

i didnt go to school today. i emailed all my teachers a forged sick note, claiming i couldnt leave the house because i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with sinisitic dizzy spells. most of my teachers are really helpful and good people, so they sent me the work they did for the day so i wouldnt miss out.

being a 'delight to have in class' aka a quiet smart kid who wasnt a pain in the ass had its perks sometimes. regardless, i used my morning to get all my money ready, of which i had just over enough to go to miss A to get her off my back.

when i get there, the place is crawling with old gangsters. miss A is screaming at people and when she sees me she's shocked, as if surprised i actually had guts to show my face. shes propped behind a round steel table in her garage, leaning back in her chair and the room goes silent as her eyes are on me.

"look who it is," she says to me, dipping her cigarette in her ashtray. "Lucky, you better have good news for me."

i bow to her and put the potato sack of money on the table. unfortunately i didnt have anything really fancy like a briefcase. im a fucking gangster on a budget.

she glares at me. "potatoes? is this some kind of joke?"

three guys restrain me out of nowhere, holding a knife under my throat. my breath gets stuck in my throat and i only manage to force out one thing. "m-money."

she doesnt tell them to let me go, which pisses me off. what the hell did i do to make her this mad? she lifts the opening of the sack and only when she sees the cash does she wave the gangsters to get off of me.

they drop me so hard i fall with my butt on the floor and i make no real move to get up in case they jump me again. instead i get to kneeling. "miss A, that's the money from all the dealings."

"i can see that. oh wow, you actually decided to be useful," miss A says, getting up and coming up to me. she puts her hand down on my hair and gently scratches it like you would a dog and i struggle to not show any fear. "if only wooyoung could be like you."

her words make me sweat. "where is wooyoung, miss A?"

i swear, if she laid a hand on him. i dont know what i would do, but no one here, including me, would be left alive.

her eyes darken. "i was actually hoping you would tell me, Lucky. your brother has become a magician. a cold case."

she doesnt know? did wooyoung actually skip town?

"i told him to bring me the hand of who killed my boys or else i would have his. he hasnt been back in days."

fuck. this is bad. im actually starting to get dizzy.

someone rolls into the garage, and my face drops in horror at the man and his disfigured, burnt face. hes in a wheelchair, an armbrace and has a bandage wrapped over everything but his mouth and eyes.

"you and your buddy got changbin and a lot of good boys killed. look what they did to seonghwa." miss A says.

that's fucking seonghwa? he looks fucked. hes never recovering. he wouldve been better off dead. now he really looks like something out of a horror movie, a real, terrifying disfigured butcher.

"that hongjong motherfucker," miss A laughs but there's nothing joyful in it. "he came into MY warehouse, burnt MY cargo, killed MY men. and all because he was looking for you two."

im struggling to breathe. i dont show it but im silently breaking down. i cant take my eyes off seonghwa. thats it? thats my future? i might as well kill myself. seonghwa killed yunho, he was one of the topdogs in the gang. im fucking nothing. if thats what that hongjoong guy could do to him then its over for me.

"he said that?" is all i can get out. miss A lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.

"you're not a boy anymore, Lucky. you'll always be a baby in my eyes, but its time for you to get serious, dont you think?" she tells me. "wooyoung is gone. so someone has to fix this. you know the rules, you make a mess, and you clean it up."

"miss A-" i start stammering. i feel like im going to cry. "we didnt do anything. we never even met that hongjoong guy. wooyoung shot mingi because he tried to kill him. it was in self defence."

"did i ask for an account of what happened?" miss A's voice drips with sarcasm. "i dont care who did what. but my boys paid the price. i wont let an attack on my turf go unpunished. you find wooyoung and you two will go and kill that fucker or i'll have you swimming in a fishtank with the rest of yunho. am i clear?"

fuck no. fuck my life is over. i just started having sex and now i have to die. this is a fucking nightmare.

"yes, ma'am," i nod my head. "when do you want this done?"

"before my boys suffer another attack. he wants you, so let him come."

"you won't find him," seonghwa says and he sounds like a lays packet trying to talk. his voice is raspy and sounds terrible. "he only shows when he wants to be found. and he wanted to be found that day. so make him come to you."

i dont want him anywhere near me! i want to scream. look at what the fuck he did to you.

i have to run away. i have to do it tonight. i have to take everything. i cant think clearly, my brain is beating so hard i can feel it in my ears.

i nod and get up and miss A distractedly starts counting the money. "so you got the money fast. i always knew you could do it, you were just lazy before, yeah?"

i had help, i want to say. yaera's stealing, her savings, wooyoung stealing all mingi's gambling winnings, fucking jongho. i couldnt have done this on my own. i would have been dead by the end of this month.

i did all that, just to stay alive. only to have another target on my head. this...it never fucking ends. its only going to get worse. i cant win. this game, its unbeatable.

i almost want to laugh out of pure irony. and yaera wanted me to ask miss A for a fixed amount. she wanted to help me pay off my dads bullshit debt. im never going to be free.

my hopes and dreams are gone.

"you still have your dad's gun right?" miss A asks me. i say yes in the smallest voice.

she smiles. "you better get to using it then, Lucky."

i leave miss A's garage with nothing left in the tank. nothing but another assignment. an assignment that will kill me.

im the sacrificial fucking lamb. why is she doing this to me? because she thinks i can do it? because she wants to get rid of me? i did what she asked of me. i got her yunho. i got her the drug money. now she wants me to kill an assassin? an assassin that already has a bodycount of seven?

and hes brutal. four of those were other gangsters, luckily none of those were ours at the time, but he guts every one of his enemies. he was connected to a murder of a prostitute. and cut out the stomachs and sliced off the hands of two guys who apparently looked at his sister.

what the FUCK am i getting into.

i get home and i dont know what to do. everything comes crashing down on me. i throw my fist into the picture frames on the wall, sending glass bursting everywhere. i look at the picture of my parents, feeling nothing but burning hatred. i hate them both. i hate my mother for leaving me behind in this shit life and i fucking hate that bullshit excuse of a sperm donor for killing me.

he killed me. he signed my death sentence.

i start tearing everything apart. im ripping my apartment to shreds because nothing matters. this is all useless, nothing, i wouldnt fucking miss this place. i have nothing but awful memories here. but my anger doesnt last. it comes crashing down so fast that im left to collapse next to my bed and i cant stop myself from crying.

its over for me. everything is.

i had nothing to begin with. nothing except...

without even thinking, my bleeding hand reaches for my phone on my desk and calls her. she picks up on the first ring.

"san?" her voice is comforting and i dont know why. i dont fucking know this girl. she doesnt know me. but shes all i have. and i dont even reall have her. "are you okay? you never call me."

i cant even speak, im heaving into the microphone and sniffling uncontrollably.

"san?" she sounds more concerned. oh shes concerned for me. thats nice. i'll remember how nice it feels when i die.

"c-can you come over, please?"

i dont even recognize my voice. its cracking and its like the pained whimper of an animal. she puts off the phone and i wrap myself around my bedsheets, curling into a pathetic ball.

shes here within 15 minutes. i dont know how she got here so fast. she was supposed to be at school. it was still one period before lunch. she must have been skipping. i wish i skipped more class now that i know im not going to live very long. studying all that shit was pointless. i should have been living like her. like i dont have a care in the world. but i cant. and i never could.

she walks into my apartment with her eyes wide, dropping her blazer off her shoulders and onto my dirty floor. "what the hell happened? are you okay?" she runs and puts herself infront of me.

"did someone break in?" she holds my wet face. i never stopped crying. not once. she looks horrified seeing me this way. i cant imagine how bad i must look. "oh my god."

she hugs me. she hugs me and i grip her so tightly till i feel my lungs tighten. the tears are pouring harder now. im staining her white blouse.

"im going to die," i choke out. "they're going to kill me."

"what?" she gasps. "who?"

i try to speak but i dont stop crying. this is fucking awful. she shushes me and lets me continue, rubbing my hair in the softest way that makes me hope i wont die, just so that i'd experience it more than once.

"im here, dont worry."

of course you are. you're always here. always invading my apartment. always working on my nerves. always in my head since i fucking met you. i wish i didnt take that for granted for as long as i did. if i knew this was all i'd have left.

i dont know what possesses me. i pull away from her, my hands drift up to the buttons of her blouse. im careful so she knows i wont hurt her the way he did. she watches my bleeding knuckles, looking at me with tender eyes. she doesnt stop me. i flick open the first button as she stands above me.

"can i?" i choke out. "this is all i have."

she starts removing her own buttons. "you dont even have to ask," she tells me.

she trusts me so much. if this is all i have left then i dont want to destroy it.

she drops her blouse, revealing her bronze, skin bare skin and black bra. the sun in my blinds isnt doing her justice. i reach behind her and unclip her bra and her boobs spill out right in my face. her skin is warm. shes so warm. she lifts my ugly brown hoodie off my body, trailing her hand down my stomach.

her touch feels like satin. i dont deserve it. she doesnt deserve this.

"i-i dont want to use you as a coping mechanism," i tell her but im talking to a wall. i dont want to but i am. im going to die and all i want to do is fuck her one last time. there isnt enough time in the world.

she kisses me sorely, with way too much emotion for what we really are. two broken, fragile people. we have no business with each other, but she kisses me like i mean something.

"for you, san, i'd let you use me however you want," she whispers against my lips. "as long as its you."

i feel my heart pain. i want to cry again but my dick is hard and i can only focus on two things at once. so i deal with my boner first.

i slide down her thin, pink underwear from under her skirt and it drops to her ankles. she steps out of it and pulls my sweatpants out from under me, immediately sliding herself onto my dick.

she moans softly into my ear and it feels like heaven. shes like heaven wrapped in one complicated woman. she could destroy me. she could ask to end me and i would let her.

i'd rather it be you than anyone else.

i grip her softly and my hands are stinging but i dont care. i feel weak. but somehow with her here, it doesnt hurt as much. shes riding me slowly, its crazy how without any foreplay shes already drenched down there. i guess she does like me a little.

she peppers kisses all over my neck as i hold her up, losing my mind as she slowly sinks and rises onto me. i never fucking liked our stupid school uniform but seeing it on her like this, with her on me, just makes me lose my mind. jongho doesnt fucking know what he missed out on.

"you know i care about you right?" she whispers into my ear. "its about more than just the money. you know that right?"

my lips her are on her chest and i kiss her there slowly. "i know," i mutter. actually i didnt know that. i dont know what the fuck she sees in a dickhead like me.

"good," she says, then pushes me down to my back. she adjusts herself to straddle me properly but i cant watch her struggle to please me. i get back up and flip her under me, pushing her back down gently when she tries to protest.

"but-"

"i want you to feel the way you make me feel," i say. and i never thought i'd ever utter words like that. fuck, no wonder everyone thought i was gay.

i drag my lips down her perfect, sculpted torso and plant them onto her shivering, wet hole. she whimpers weakly as i stick my tongue inside, slowly impaling her with it. i dont care that im taking my time honestly. im going to die, so i might as well make this as long as it can.

i drink up her bitter juices, lapping my tongue across her slit. the moans she lets out are otherworldly, definetely worthy of a noise complaint. i dont mind it. i feel useful for once in my life. i slowly inch a finger into her warm hole, sucking on her pleasure button while im at it. i'd call it her clit, but thats too rough for me.

"san please," she begs. "i want you so bad, just fuck me already."

i stop at her request, getting up and over her. i line myself at her entrance, pushing in slowly. she throws her arms around my neck and the eye contact we have as i just lay there inside her is enough to make me drop it all. i'd drop it all and leave with her, wherever she wanted to go.

her hole feels like home. my dick fits perfectly inside her. its warm and hugs me and i cant get enough of it. i push in and out slowly, taking in her eyes. they havent left mine. her lips are parted in bliss, and i decide to kiss them. she moans into my mouth, and it feels like a fucking spell being casted on me. i accelerate the pace, and the lewd sounds of her squelching and our breaths syncing up are all that can be heard.

it turns around so fast. im fucking into her at a pace thats desperate. like if i fuck her any slower, its going to get taken away from me. everything will. her legs are wrapped around my waist and she clenches on me, as if she doesnt want me to ever leave. i dig my fingers into her skin, holding onto dear life as i feel myself getting closer.

"wait," she breathes. "i wanna do it standing up."

i pause mid stroke. "how?"

"against the wall. lift me."

i go along with it. we get up and she lays with her back against the wall, lifting her leg so i can put it in. i pick her up and she slides onto me perfectly, and this new angle makes my brain go foggy. its so much deeper and tighter, i can feel her soak onto me.

i start ramming into her against the wall and her hair is hanging down her face, making her look like a sexier version of the grudge. she looks utterly lost in it all, and its so enjoyable to watch. i feel like im doing something right seeing her looked so absolutely fucked out.

my legs grow weaker as i hit her walls, feeling myself getting closer to the edge. shes demanding, with her legs wrapped around me she wont stop till ive been emptied.

"you're so fucking perfect," she whisper-whines, and its enough for me to blow. i completely blow inside her and she creams on me at the same time, our juices mixed together like some fucked up smoothie.

i drop her and she doesnt remove her arms from my neck. instead she pulls my body towards her, till we're chest to chest, completely naked amd kisses me harder than she ever has before.

this isnt even because we're fucking. she just wants to do it. and honestly, i needed it so badly.

when she pulls away im left yearning for more. it makes me sick. "thank you," i tell her. "i needed this."

"i know," she says softly. "tell me everything."

***

after i tell yaera everything, we're sitting on the bed beside each other, a painful, weighing silence between us.

"what are you going to do?" she asks, sounding hopeless.

"i have to kill the guy. or miss A's going to kill me."

"the police?" she says but knows immediately it wont work.

"i'd die before miss A sees trial," i laugh emptily. "and i'd go to jail for sure. she has enough on me to make sure i'm wanted."

she's frowning. she's realizing money cant buy my freedom. or my life.

"after you kill that gangster...nothing will be the same," she says. "you'd have blood on your own hands."

i shrug and stare out of my window. "it ends here, yaera. for both of us."

she stands up abruptly and looks like she wants to break into sobs. "no you can't disappear after this. i still need you."

i smile weakly. hearing that makes me feel better. someone will miss me.

"when i'm gone, you can have my apartment. i have some money left over here, maybe you'll be able to get away for good. you'll never deal with that freak again."

she's not happy with my answer. "no, san. i dont want you to go. i dont want you to disappear. cant we catch a one way flight? can't we run? i'll run with you. i promise."

she actually wants to stay with me. when i dont answer yaera bends down infront of me, holding my hands. i cant believe how quickly things turned around. i have so much to lose.

"when you finish your business, we're getting the fuck out of here, okay? promise me. i'll get the tickets, i'll get everything ready. but promise me you'll come back to me."

i cant promise that i'll be alive. i want to, but i dont want to lie to her.

"i cant promise i'll make it back, yaera," i mutter. a tear rolls down her face. "and even if we run away, is this really sustaintable?"

"is what?"

"us?"

she scoffs. "i dont think now is the time to think of what we are. i dont care about defining this relationship, thats not important. all i know is, you're all i have."

"you're all i have too." i whisper.

"thats enough for me. so promise?"

"okay, i promise."

"good, now lets clean up here and pick a place on the map."

yaera and i spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my shattered apartment. i take my parents pictures and throw it in the spare room where i dont have to see it. when we're done, yaera makes herself at home and lays down in my bed watching youtube. i get dressed and she switches off her phone when she notices.

"where are you going?"

"remember those gangsters you met the night you followed me? im paying them a visit." i tell her.

"your dad's old gang...are you going to ask them to help you?"

"yeah. i wanna see if they've heard from wooyoung. get help where i can."

"okay. is it cool if i stay over?" she asks. "i dont feel like going home."

she doesnt even have to ask anymore. i say my goodbyes and make my way downtown.

getting into mao's place has always been shady, im surprised there are guys outside the door. they see me and are shocked to see me, letting me in and muttering shit in cantonese under their breaths.

i find mao sitting around a table and gambling and by god, i find wooyoung too.

he freezes when i see him and i have half the mind to beat the shit out of him. this is where hes been the whole fucking time?!

"sannie!" mao yelps with his cigarette dangling off his lips. "look we're finally good enough for him again! i heard you've been visiting everyone BUT me!"

i run across the room and catch wooyoung before he can run. then i pick him up and toss him into the closest wall. "you DICKHEAD!" i scream.

mao's men jump up from their seats and get between us. "woah woah woah!" mao shouts. "no fucking fighting under my roof! take that shit to the alley!"

"what the fuck man?!" wooyoung huffs. "arent you glad im alive?"

"you couldnt pick up a phone? you couldnt call me to let me know?" i snap. "i thought you fucking skipped town!"

"i had to toss my phone!" wooyoung stresses. "miss A is looking for me."

"i KNOW! I KNOW SHES LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS BECOME MY PROBLEM, WOO!"

i start laughing hysterically. "we're fucked. we're both fucked because of you and i hope you know that."

wooyoung stands up, dusting himself off. he has a remorseful look on his face. fucking say something coward.

"i tried to keep you out of it," he admits shamefully. "i was gonna get it done."

"you were gonna kill hongjoong by yourself?" i scoff. "you'd be done for before you even do anything!"

"mao gave me a gun," woo says. i look to mao and he shrugs.

"you know about this?" i ask him.

"as long as he doesnt involve me, i dont mind helping out," mao says. "i dont want black dragons on this side of the world, but bae su ji is losing her touch."

"who the fuck is bae suji?" both woo and i ask angrily.

"Miss A."

"you know Miss A's government name?" woo questions. mao shrugs.

"we used to date in high school."

we're getting off track. im still fucking angry, i turn to wooyoung.

"so? let me hear this fucking plan of yours."

"i dont want you involved san. we cant both be dead."

it feels like my veins are going to pop. "she's going to KILL ME if i dont fucking do something about that hongjoogn fucker. he put seonghwa in a wheelchair and killed changbin. shes going to kill me if i dont get involved, woo, so just tell me the fucking plan."

"hongjoong's sister is getting married soon," mao interjects. "woo's gonna wipe him out there."

"and then im going to skip town for real," woo says with a dark look. "mao's arranged for me to go to hong kong. im gonna work for him there."

"you know who was also supposed to go to hongkong?" i laugh darkly. "yunho."

the room falls into uncomfortable silence aside from the sound of dominoes hitting the table.

"i'll be there, woo." i tell him. "im leaving town too."

"where are you going?" both mao and woo asks.

"im leaving with yaera," i answer woo only. mao is confused and wooyoung tells him its my girlfriend.

"you left Flor?" mao is shocked. i sigh remembering that yaera gave mao a fake name when she followed me. i dont dignify him with an answer.

"alright man," woo sounds defeated. "now you know. i didnt wanna keep in touch because i didnt want to make things worse."

"they're already bad, woo. you not telling me changed nothing."

ive calmed down significantly. i feel defeated but at least i know this bastard is alive.

"what about mingi?" i question. "he started this shit in the first place."

"im taking them both out," wooyoung says. "mingi's the groom. hongjoong's walking his sister down the aisle."

how convenient. two birds with one stone. now, how were we going to get out of it alive?

"WE, wooyoung," i correct him. "WE'RE taking them both out."

***

yaera

after i helped san clean up his rampage, i saw something interesting in his spare room.

i stare at the daewoo k5 in my hands, i never realized san was the kind to keep guns. with the way he lives, i guess i shouldnt be surprised. he needs it more than anything.

something dangerous popped into my mind when looking at it. the first thing i thought of was wiping santo off this earth.

wouldnt i be doing a good deed? taking that rapist, pedophile and fucking freak off this planet?

he called me again. from a different number. i never pick up unknown IDs because of him. but i picked up this time, and all i heard was him breathing harshly.

"i dont like being ignored, yaera. it hurts my heart. you dont want to know how i act when im hurt."

i wonder if yasmine found out, and thats how she ended up where she did.

i know he wasnt anywhere near her when she died, but the thought that he touched her the way he touched me...the fact that she enjoyed it. it was driving me insane. i feel myself losing it with every single thought that flashes by me.

i just want to leave. i want san to finish up his business, come out alive and free me from this place.

we decided on soroa, cuba. europe wouldnt be a good place for us to start over in. latin america would be fresh. its going to be better.

i tried to keep busy but my stomach ached for san. with every apartment i looked at, every beach and every municipality i imagined living in, i had a thought of san never seeing it. i feel so fucking helpless.

i cant fix any of this. i never could but ive never felt this cornered before now. if anything happens to him, i know im going to end up in a ward. i cant leave this place without him when he helped me get to this point.

my parents have left me so many missed calls. so have irina and claire. none from anya? thats weird. she always leaves me the most calls.

i decide to call irina back. i havent heard from them aside from drug related business so it'd be nice if she could take my mind off the fuckery thats been taking place. they always have the most interesting things to tell me. vacationing in saint tropez, partying in monaco, i'd love them to tell me about cuba.

irina picks up first ring. "hey girl–"

"you fucking bitch," she snares at me. i jolt up from the bed at her tone.

"hello?" i repeat in confusion.

"anya is DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

fire creeps up on my skin. it feels like all my hairs raising.

"w-what?"

"she fucking mixed whatever pill you gave her and she threw up all over herself. we fucking rushed her to hospital and she didnt make it!"

this has to be why my parents called me. oh my god. oh my god anya's dead.

"i dont know what you mean," is the first thing i say. probably not the best thing but its the first thing i could get out. there has to be people around her right now. i cant risk it.

"now you dont know what im talking about?" irina snaps. "you fucking killed her."

"anya has a history of drug abuse, irina. why are you blaming me for this? im sorry for what happened but dont call me with this bullshit ever again."

i quickly put off the phone and start hyperventilating. fuck this is a mess, my parents probably found out. they probably know. if i go home im screwed. i cant go home, they'll keep me there.

how do i stay out of this. i know i cant go to jail, none of them have any proof that i dealt them drugs. not a single shred of evidence. there are the cellphone records, but those calls cant get traced back to me. the phone's too old. i need to stay away from them.

i have to fix this, somehow. i cant unload it on san he has enough on his plate. but it sounds like ive made an enemy out of the closest thing i have to friends. i dont know what to do.

i look at the gun on my lap. i have to finish the story.

***

next chapter

tagslist: @sansonlygf @brown88 @yujispinkhair @mountiiny

[aita-blorbos]

(tma oc ask content warning for canon typical levels of buried fuckery)

am i the asshole for driving away my friend?

hey reddit . im posting from a throwaway bc i dont want people connecting this to my work (though i doubt youve heard of me anyways) but i think i messed up terribly and i want to know if this is something i can still fix

also sidenote sorry if my grammar or punctuation or word choice or anything of that sort are poor. i have not been sleeping well for some time

i (19m) am a video game developer. its been my passion for years now and i am currently in uni studying computer games development and programming and level design . although i have considered dropping out but thats a point for later . i post on itch io and such and sometimes i make flash games but idk if anyone reading this has played a single one

its been a bit of a hard time for me, if im being honest. i really like games and i really liked making them but i dont think im very good at programming or art or level design or any of the other things that go into the process of making a game . at least a profitable and fun one .

so i ended up coming to this computer science study group in the hopes maybe someone could teach me to be better at programming. and i met this girl. i dont know exactly how old she is, but i want to say she was maybe two or three years ahead of me in her schooling, so probably about 22. anyways lets call her E

E was studying pure computer science and wanted to do it at a high level . so of course she was pretty good at helping me with my really rudimentary programming stuff . and she was friendly and funny and we liked hanging out so we ended up being good friends . she actually complimented my games, once i got them to function, and said my pixel art was cute . my point is we were close . maybe we wouldn’t have been so close if we had anyone else, but i was still new and she was pretty lonely .

really shortly after i met her though i started having fucked up dreams. ok that’s not entirely accurate because i had been having fucked up dreams on occasion for a while . but they got worse and she showed up in them. it was all me locking her in stairwells hitting her over the head and piling earth over her body filling her mouth with mud and cement. terrible things

so i stopped sleeping. i tried not to at least. im pretty sure most uni kids pull all nighters. i know i did even when i was younger. but i wasnt studying for exams or whatever. i was just trying and trying to force myself awake and i started to lose it a bit. my grip on things. it felt like i was sleepwalking through classes and even like i was dreaming when i was awake. id nod off for a moment in a lecture and id feel dirt caked on my hands under my fingernails. and no matter how much i scrubbed and how much i knew with my eyes it wasnt there it just. refused to come off . and it felt like her blood

i don’t remember how we got on the topic but i remember she told me how she always worried a little bit about being trapped . like claustrophobia of a flavor that shows itself in locked doors and thick walls and collapsing underground stations. that made me feel even more odd about the whole thing . of course i felt awful about hurting her but that part of it was like a joke i didn’t get

and then weirdly enough i got really into nineties 3D games. they have these skyboxes that make it really obvious they’re not actually infinite . and i thought that was kind of interesting in context. like the whole world is a box you’re in so why worry so much about if the stairwell door will lock behind you

i kind of started thinking that was something i would like to replicate with my art . like if i put all my issues into one game they would be out of my brain and gone . maybe it could even be pleasant without the whole preying on my friends terror thing

so now we get to the part of the story where i fear i really really messed up . i made this game . and honestly i dont remember the development very well . sleep deprivation is a dreadful thing . i remember again and again while i was making it kind of coming to my senses not knowing where i was and finding massive parts of the game that i didnt remember making at all.

it was set in a stairwell but i dont remember buying or making the models for the door . there was a really weird kind of way the game functioned with an infinite path going up but how that functioned i couldnt tell you . and i dont remember composing the audio or where i might have downloaded it from except that i never liked to listen to it for very long . i dont know why i kept it in the game

i always showed my games to E but i really wanted her to see this one in particular. so she came by my flat and played it and then i remember she just glared at me . there was something to the look she gave me . it was like she was completely horrified and was trying to pretend she was just angry instead

she hasnt spoken to me since . and i think i fucked up . i knew it was playing at her issues and i think maybe i even made it at least subconsciously to pry at them. like the same part of me with dirt under my fingernails was also sitting there typing away on that keyboard .

but at the same time its just a game . and im better at programming now too . like something just clicked there

honestly though development lately has been weird. its been hard trying to go back to the old sort of pixel art platformers and shoot em ups and that kind of thing i used to make. every time i open any program its like im just staring at it and imagining skyboxes. putting it all in a box imprisoning every world i make that kind of thing. like i said earlier ive been considering dropping out. but i dont know. i think id need to sleep on it

i still have weird fucked up dreams but E isnt in them anymore . i dont know where shes gone . i think maybe my idea worked somehow and i did transfer all that shit to my art . and then that just all went right to her . but i dont know if i like that idea or hate it

anyways reddit am i the asshole?

[marcothephoenixhusband]

DJ Cam Girl

Marco X F!Reader

AU Modern Day

🔞18+ NSFW Like One Scene

Inspired by Suckerpunch the movie but with a twist~♡

I never said I was good at writing...

This is the short story from my poll.

Characters: Marco, Ace, Law, Baby Five, Doflamingo

Neighbors and Best Friend, to Girlfriend, to Proposal

You started being a online DJ Cam four years ago going on five years when you moved into your apartment. Little did you know who was watching you. You try to hide the fact that your a DJ Cam girl but eventually Marco figures it out and someone else too. You also work at a high class club as a cage dancer with Baby Five run by Doflamingo named Blue.

~

Setting up your turntables you get ready for a mix set after dancing in a cage at your work in a highclass club/bar called Blue. To be clear your just a dancer. There is a dress code but you pick what you wear everyday. Your in your big room and turn on your camera then set up Tweet a streaming service.

"Hello everyone its so nice to see you all again! Hi my OGs Kiwi, Robot, Slick, Blue Phoenix! And hello to my new subscribers!~ Im gonna start with S&M - ayesha erotica (mashup) by iiblxssom_angelx" as you mix songs skillfully together you mix into Slayyyter - Stupid Boy (ft. Ashnikko, Ayesha Erotica, Big Freedia) [mashup] by dogbby07 while dancing erotically for the camera. After the session you say

"I hope you all liked this mix session thanks for watching I hope you all have a good night or day wherever you may be thank you for the donations and subs~♡" you end the stream then big sigh and go change into a t shirt and shorts then put away your turntables taking off your wig and putting it away. Then you hear a knock at your door so you go to your hallway, unlock and open your door to see your neighbor, apartment two and your apartment three, Marco Phoenix who is hot and a doctor. You crack the door and say

"Hey Marco whatsup?" He looks at your attire your dressed in shorts and a tshirt no shoes.

"Have you seen the news (n)? Yoi" he asks politely and you shake your head no

"No I havent I dont even have a tv remember? Why? Whatsup man?" You ask as you walk into the hall to talk.

"Well apparently theres a serial killer on the loose. I figured id let you know since you know your a woman living alone Yoi."

He replys.

"Oh shittt ugh who this serial killer after?" Asking you cock your head to the side as you cross your arms.

"Well their calling him the Cam Girl Killer right now. Just thought I should let you know since I know you live alone Yoi"

"Well dam thanks Marco ill have to buy a taser or something. Why is it that serial killers only go after women? Fuckin weird right?" You say as he shrugs

"Well most likely because women are easier targets but if anything does happen just yell my name and ill come out. Yoi" he says and you retort.

"I hope it doesnt come to that Marco.. thanks for letting me know since I work nine pm - five am everyday. They say having a regular schedule is bad. That serial killers like that to stalk their prey. But I dont have any control over that my boss Doflamingo is super strict." He raises an eyebrow as he says

"Well just be extra wary okay. Id hate for anything to happen to you. Do you want to hang out tonight or no? Yoi" he asks as you say

"Hmm sure just give me a minute to wipe my makeup off and ill be over in a few." You see him smile and nod

"Okay see you in a few (n)" as you both enter your apartments and you go clean your face. Thats Marco for you always caring and sweet. Your best friend but you never invite him over because Cam girls have a stigma against them. Of course you have a big fat crush on him too. Youve known him ever since you moved into your apartment. Going on five years now. After you wipe your makeup off and you grab your lanyard with your keys on it exit your apartment and lock up. Then knock on Marcos door as he opens it revealing a happy smiling Marco. He looks at you as he lets you walk in placing your shoes on his shoe rack.

"So what you thinking for tonight?" You ask him as he goes to his wine rack grabbing two glasses pouring some wine into each glass then going over to you handing you a glass. You sitting on his couch.

"How about some uno? Yoi" he says as you take it and take a sip.

"Thanks Marco and are you sure about that? You know im competitive haha" you laugh as he smiles and says

"Its no worries haha you know I dont mind Yoi" he retorts as you say

"Okay well we need some music then not tv this time"

"Okay okay there is this one woman I follow on Tweet she does cam DJing here ill put her on.

"Ouu you have taste in music? I never knew I cant wait" you say teasing and giggling then he turns on the DJ and you hear your set, eyes widening slightly as you realize he listens to you. You had tried to hide it.

'Does he know its me? No way I wear wigs and wear different clothes for my sets and work. Does he know where I work? Probably not hes not the type to go to clubs right?'

"Okay are you ready to get mad (n)? (N)? Hellooo? Yoi"

"Oh yea sorry spaced out haha" you laugh and say

"Im totally taking you down and shes hella tight I love this music!"

"Ya I love this music now. I discovered her a couple years ago her name is SlayStar on Tweet stream. I used to not like this kinda music but it grew on me. Yoi" he says as you take a big gulp of wine.

'Okay so it seems he doesnt know in fact no one should know besides my gurl friend Rizza who lives in another state. Thank fuck the walls are super insulated in these apartments. I mean we all pay a high price to live here' you think as he starts shuffling the deck and you move with the beat.

"I fuckin love this song!" Marco chuckles and says

"My favorite parts coming up. Okay lets start cutie Yoi"

'Hmm cutie? Does he like me too? Maybe hes just a flirt?' You think as you both play uno until he wins which was two hours later.

"Fuckk mann you win okay I guess I admit defeat tonight" you giggle as you feel a bit tipsy.

"I should go its getting late and I have work tonight" he nods and says

"Yea you should drink some water dont want a hangover tonight at work do you? And you shouldnt drink so much before work. Yoi" you point at him laughing.

"Your funny Marco you gave it to me. Silly im only a little tipsy" you say and stand swaying a bit as you head to the door as he crosses his arms and gives you a look.

"Uh huh you sure about that? Yoi" he says as you say

"Okay Mr. Phoenix I promise to drownd myself in water when I get in my apartment. Better?" You get on your shoes as he opens and holds the door open for you, him watching you go to your apartment unlock it then say loudly

"Ill get you next time Marco!"

"Ya ya suree now drink some water (n). Yoi" he says as you give him a thumbs up and go into your apartment locking the door. You get dressed and do your makeup then put on your trench coat so noone thinks your a hooker. After your completely ready you call an Uber and wait inside the locked lobby door for your ride. Once you get to work you clock in as Doflamingo or Dofo for short comes into the dressing room.

"Allright everyone do touch ups then go shake your asses out there!" He says loudly then heads out to the front of house greeting big spenders. It was a busy night and the night DJ was pumping up the jams. You look at Baby Five who looks peppy tonight.

"Hey Baby Five why are you so peppy?"

"Well I got together with this new guy and he totally needs me!" She sqeals in happiness.

"Well as long as your happy" you say finally ready and go out to be let into your cage. Your wearing pvc bralette with straps snaking around your curves, booty shorts and thigh high boots.

~Weeks Later One Night At Work~

"Erotica just quit so I need you to change your shift (N). Nine am to five pm since your my most experienced dancer. I need you for the day time audience start working on singing. Ironically weve been lacking lately anyways due to her anyways so I need you to bring the crowd back" Mr. Doflamingo says and you nod.

"So when do I start?" You question.

"Tomorrow we need a pick up in traffic pronto." He says as you nod. You call an uber home as your shift ended. Once home you pass out.

~Once Your Alarm Rings~

You hear it but dont want to get up. A couple minutes pass and you decide youd like to keep your job and apartment. Getting ready you drink and eat breakfast then shower dry off and get dressed. Doing your makeup you put on your trench coat and grab your phone and keys and purse. Walking out of your apartment you hear and see Marco locking up his apartment.

"Morning Marco!" You say as he turns around seemingly surprised.

"Hey (n) why are you up so early? Yoi"

"Doflamingo my boss switched my schedule for a day shift since a girl quit *yawns* im so tired. Now my schedule is nine am to five pm now" You reply and he nods

"Well look at that, now I dont have to worry as much. Guess ill see you at five pm Yoi" he chuckles and smiles in his casual attire his muscles defined almost popping out through his shirt.

"Okay sounds good~"

'Hes not going to work today I wonder where hes going? Ahh he fills out that shirt perfectly' You think looking at his backside. You both walk to the lobby as you had called an Uber in your apartment. Walking out you part ways with Marco and you go to work. In the changing room in the back of house you do touch ups then go to the cage.

~Nearing The End Of Your Shift~

You hear more customers come in as your party at your table left and the table had just been cleaned. It didnt mean you could just stand there though your job was to dance. You see three men slide into your booth as your in the cage then recognize one of them, but the dancers arnt allowed to talk to customers unless they order the sing a long package. There was huge led screen tvs for the dancers to see the song lyrics to sing a long and dance too. He looks at you shocked

"(N)? Yoi" Marco and you make eye contact as you continue to dance you both blush red as he becomes fidgety.

"I can explain, later though! Yoi" He waves his hands in front of himself as he sinks into the booth which didnt do much since he is six foot eight. The other two men raise their eyebrows

"So this is the famous (n) we hear about all the time? Shes pretty I can see why you like her Marco" The man in the middle asks Marco as Marco blushes

'He talks about me to others?? Intresting. Like me? Like how though? As friends or like like?' You think as you dance.

"I never knew she worked here before now. Yoi" you hear Marco say which stings your chest.

"Well im ordering the sing along since it is MY birthday"

'Great ill have to suck up my pride and grit this. I still have two more hours on the clock. Im so embarrassed that Marco is seeing me like this' your dressed in velvet booty shorts, a velvet bralette with extra straps thigh high pvc boots and jewelry with your (C) (L) hair up.

"Whyd you have to drag us to a place like this Ace? Ya" the guy on Aces left from your view said. Another painful sting to your chest.

"Ah come on Law dont be a buzzkill lets drink! And I like Blue its not a strip club but more high class especially for you refined gentlemen haha" Ace says to the man on his left a presses the sing a long button on the table. Suddenly you hear your boss Dofo come up to you and give you a headset while talking to the three men.

"Hello Ace nice to see you again. Nice to see you brought friends too. Now this one here came from the night shift she doesnt sing much but let me know if there are any problems." Dofo says as Ace responds.

"Hey Dofo wheres Erotica? She is so good. I came cause todays my birthday I wanted to see her but (n) is okay too"

'Im just okay too?! Ill show this cocky brat I bet hes younger than me anyways' you think angrily as you have a smile on your face because youd loose your job otherwise.

"Unfortunately Erotica left the club but (n) is one of our most experienced dancers so your in good hands. Ill get your regular bottle tab going" Dofo says while taking Aces, Laws, and Marcos credit cards.

"Hello all you sexy men please push which song youd like to hear and ill sing it for you" you say. What no one knew was that you DID sing just not at work until now. Ace tried at every attempt to flirt with you and you noticed Marco looked slightly upset.

Ace chose a song which was

Britney Spears - Gimme More (bass boosted) As you skillfully sing and dance erotically they all take shots and drink what you assumed was votka. Marco ordered the most drinks then it was Law then Ace. After awhile of only Ace picking songs he says

"Come on you two pick some songs im paying for the sing a long anyways!" Ace says obviously tipsy as the other two seem to hold their liquor. Law picks timbaland - give it to me ft. Nelly furtado, justin timberlake (sped up) then the other two men are peer pressuring Marco into picking a song. He picks S&M - ayesha erotica (mashup) to which you kinda couldnt help but meet his eyes during the song. Which was also part of your job but you also couldnt help your blush throughout the entire song.

"Awe look shes blushing! I think she likes you Marco!" Ace notices as he talks with the two men.

"Ace quit embarrassing me. You should respect places you go to. Yoi" Marco says

"Even I know you dont shit where you eat. She is very skillful ill admit. Ya" Law says as hes eyeing you. Now all attention was on you as they passed the control pad around picking songs. Eventually your off the clock but you knew you couldnt stop dancing and singing as long as there was a party at your table and until Dofo came to unlock your cage. Marco looked at his rolex watch then says to the two men.

"I think its time to go its five pm weve been here for two hours. Yoi"

'Thank god I told Marco my schedule this morning but now things are probably gonna be weird between us or actually maybe not???' you think as the men reluctantly agreed with Marco. Dofo finally came around opening your cage when Ace asked for the tab. You overhear Ace say

"Hey Dofo you need to keep (N) on this shift ill definitely come back!" You enter the dressing room and wrap yourself up in your (c) trench coat, grab your purse, put on your sunglasses then walk outside. You were about to call an Uber when you hear

"(N)! Heyy you were great! Dont worry I told Dofo you were great too! Its nice to finally meet you!" Ace yells as he holds his hand out to shake yours. As you shake his hand you say

"Its nice to meet you too Ace and Law what do you mean finally?" you say shaking Laws hand now.

"Well Marco here talks about you all the time!" Ace says gently punching him in the arm while smiling as Marco blushes slightly.

"Ahh okay so how do you both know Marco?" You question as Marco says

"Ace is a nurse practitioner and Law is a surgeon at my hospital. Today is Aces twenty third birthday so he drug us out here. I didnt know he was a regular at Blue. Yoi" you nod

"You dont own the hospital Marco even if you are the number one doctor there" Ace says

"Ahh I see... well I should really get home and change"

"I should be getting home too. Ill call us an Uber Yoi" Marco says as you were about to stop him but let him call.

'He talks about me all the time??' You think.

"I better go home too Ya" Law says as he walks off in the opposite direction of your apartment down the sidewalk.

"Okay itll be a couple minutes theres a Uber coming for us. Happy Birthday Ace but were going home, take an Uber home okay? Yoi" Marco says as Ace nods and says

"Ya ya I know im tipsy dont worry I wont drive home! Dont be too naughty you kids" Ace says, and winks as he pulls out his phone calling an uber as your uber arrives you both say goodbye to Ace and get in. The ride home was uneventful you both blushed to embarrassed to say anything. Once in the lobby you both say at the same time

"I didnt know-"

"Sorry about them- Yoi"

"You go first" you both say the same thing.

"Please go first Yoi" Marco says as you say

"I didnt know Ace was a regular either. Ive always been on the night shift when the club is packed so theres no need for the dancers to sing since we have a night DJ." Marco nods and replys

"Sorry about them today I didnt know you worked there. Not that theres anything wrong with working there. What I mean is I hope this doesnt get inbetween us. Yoi" Marco says nervously as you say

"Dont worry Marco its just a job someone has to do it plus it pays really well your fine handsome" he nods and blushes at your comment and then let a silence grow inbetween you two before saying

"Haha I dont suppose you want to hang out after this? Yoi" Marco chuckles nervously as you raise an eyebrow.

"Sure sounds good just dont tell anyone where I work" you say sternly and Marco says

"I wont but Ace is another story. Yoi" you facepalm.

"Okay well let me go change and wipe off this makeup then ill be over Marco" you say and he nods

"Okay see you soon. Yoi" you both unlock and walk into your apartments, and you get ready. Once ready you grab your keys, lock your apartment and knock on Marcos door. You wearing a tshirt and shorts like usual. The door opens and you walk in under his arm since he is six foot eight leaving a whole head off of you. Going to his couch and ploping down you ask

"Sooo whatcha wanna do?" He pours two glasses of wine as usual and hands you a glass. Taking a gulp you ask

"Shouldnt you I dont know drink some water? Arnt you tipsy at all?" He glances at you and answers

"I drink socially besides it wasnt alot for me at the club. Ill be fine no need to worry. I dont really get tipsy im a heavy weight. Yoi" he smiles at you as you take another gulp of wine and you nod.

"I figured we could finish that uno game from last night. Yoi" he says and turns on the TV. Its showing the news as something cetches your eyes on screen.

"Wait turn it up Marco." Which he obeys and turns the volume up

"The Cam Girl Killer strikes again on Rose St. in.....last night...." the TV reporter says.

"Rose St. Is right down the road Marco" you state as he sips his wine and turns the channel to MTV Music.

"Im sure youll be fine as long as you keep your daytime schedule. Yoi" he tries to calm you. You take another big gulp of wine. He shuffles the deck and places the cards out on his glass table in front of his couch.

"Marco im a-" you stop yourself as you realize

'No I cant tell him not after today! Bad (N)' you think and he raises an eyebrow.

"No nevermind lets play your going down this time!" After you lost again your on your third glass of wine and Marco cuts you off.

"Alright thats enough wine for you cutie. Yoi" he winks at you and puts the bottle away then sits back on the couch a bit closer to you this time. Hes close enough for you to lean on so you do in your inebriated state, as you both blush he picks up his arm and wraps it around your shoulder, you leaning on his chest now.

"This feels nice~" you whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

"I agree. Yoi" he chuckles slightly as you listen to his heart rate raise. As you finish your third glass of wine your tipsy now and look up to Marco who looks down at you, making you both blush. Completely forgetting the TV was on.

"(N) I...I..... well.. let me just show you.. Yoi" he says as he suddenly tilts your chin upward with his fingers gently and leans down meeting your lips. Reciprocating you kiss back then use your tounge as he uses his flicking yours. He seems shocked you have a tounge bar. Eventually breaking for air he says

"(N) How was it cutie? Yoi" feeling bold with liquid courage you ask

"It felt awesome Marco can I have more? Hehe" Your a blushing mess and he knows this because its so obvious.

"Sure. Yoi" he slides you onto his lap so its easier to kiss him, you feeling his bulge making you blush hard but hes also blushing. You raise your hands to his cheeks, stuble, lean up as he leans down lips meeting in the middle. First it was a kiss then it turned into making out which became more rough. Soon you both were moaning in eachothers mouths as your hands went through his hair. Finally breaking for air you were both panting slightly as you felt his cock twitch in his pants under you.

"Listen (N) I have to admit I really like you. But I dont want to mess things up between us. Yoi" he says while you brush through his hair making him shiver slightly. Your blush deepens and he noticed as you reply

"I really like you too Marco, actually I like you alot okay" you admit as he seems shocked.

"Are you ... alright to make these decisions? You are definitely tipsy. Yoi" he says sounding concerned.

"I may be tipsy but ive liked you for years now Mr. Phoenix. Im glad you made a move." You say poking his nose as he chuckles.

"Really now well ive liked you for years now too. Yoi" he says then pecks your lips again noses close together. He seems hesitant about something but says

"(N) weve known eachother for years, since I like you, and you like me .... would you please be my girlfriend? Yoi" he looks you in the eyes.

"Hehe your so cute when your nervous. Of course id love to be your girlfriend Marco" saying then kissing him making out as he nips at your tounge making his cock harder. You could feel how wet your pussy was becoming with every slight movement. You both moaning as you unbutton a couple buttons on his shirt. He starts to get the drift as he breaks for air and asks

"Are you sure about this? You dont know who your messing with. Your tipsy as well. Yoi" he teases and chuckles.

"Oh im sure Marco and Im okay dont worry." you lick his neck and nip at it making him moan off gaurd. As you unbutton the rest of his shirt to reveal his abs and manly chest making you blush hard making him notice.

"See something you like? Yoi" he chuckles as he has a small blush on his face as he gently rims the bottom of your shirt seemingly unsure. MTV starts playing Ayesha erotica - Luxurious (Remix) by clouds.s0ftt You grab his hands and lead him to pull your shirt off revealing your bra.

"Marco do you know how hot you are or are you clueless?" Taken aback he says

"I work out if thats what you mean. Yoi"

"Being modest is so hot too you know" you kiss him making out, moaning as he grabs you bridal style stands and goes to his room laying you on the bed him unbuttoning his pants dropping them as you take off your shorts flinging them on the floor. Then him going to you he takes off your bra with one hand as the other slides off your panties you moaning.

"Oh wow nipple piercings too your always full of surprises (n) Yoi"

"Ouu Marco~ and yes nipple piercings" you slide off his boxers and jump off the bed kneeling down, he watchs you

"What are you- Yoi!" You take in his ten inch cock in your mouth and he moans out

"Ahh (n)! Yoi" swirling around his mushroom head you lick under his crevasse making him grip the bed.

"Fuckkk!!! Your so good at that!! Yoi" he moans out as you rib the bottom of his cock with your tounge bar making him moan your name

"(N)!! Yess!! Yoi" him gripping the sheets as you go deeper and deeper going in and out sucking while moaning on his cock making vibrations which made his cock twitch. After some time of deep throating him, him moaning your name he says

"God (N) your- your gonna make me cum!!" He yells as you mumble something but dont stop as your in the zone going in and out as fast as you can while sucking and slurping his cock. His cock stiffens and you could tell he was going to cum but he was trying to hold back.

"(N) you dont have to- Yoi" a couple more thrusts and

"Fuck your making me cum!!! Yoi" finally he releases his hot load down your throat as you swallow and slurp up your saliva thrusting through his high then gradually slowing to a stop. Suddenly your being picked up and thrown on the bed detaching your mouth from his dick with a *pop* sound.

"Your in for it now cutie. Yoi" he spreads your legs with his elbows and goes down on you

"Marco what are yo-!!! Ohh!!!" He licks your folds as he slurps up you wetness making you moan out

"Ahh yess Marco!!! That feels so good!!" He rubs your button with one hand as he sticks his tounge into your entrance making you moan loudly.

"Fuckk!! Handsome!!" He slurps and presses your ridges with his tounge getting you very close.

"Fuckk Marco your gonna- gonna make me cum!!" Him rubbing, sucking and moaning into your throbbing cunt sends you over the edge.

"Ahh!! Ma-arco im- im cumming!!" You feel your juices leaking out as he sucks them up through your high. Once finished he comes up wiping his face and crawls ontop of you both of you panting hard as no words are needed to know what eachother wants from the other. He adjusts his precuming cock at your entrance and slides in his tip making you gasp. Kissing you, making out he starts to thrust, inch by inch slowly going deeper with every thrust stretching you out as you both moan into eachothers mouths. Once he hits your back wall you moan loudly as you both break for air huffing. He starts thrusting deeper and harder trying to find your g spot. He finds it quickly, surprising you making you moan loud

"Fuckk!! Yes Marco!! Right there!!" He smiles at your lewd face and continues pumping

"Youve been such a good girl so ill reward you!! Yoi" you snake your arms around his neck running your hand through his hair as you continuously moan out his name.

"Yess!! Marco!!! After about ten minutes

"Aghh!! Marco im gonna cum!!"

"Cum baby girl cum on my cock!! Yoi" he moans out panting as he picks up speed and going harder. A couple more thrusts and

"Fuckk im cumming Marco!!!" Tears form in your eyes as your nails dig into his shoulders as he continues thrusting through your sex high.

"Marco feels so good!!"

"Its all for you (N)!! Im getting close cutie where should I cum? Yoi" a couple more thrusts and your seeing spots

"Um cum in me Marco!!"

"I dont want to get your pregnant! Yoi"

"Im on birth control!"

"Oh! Allright sexy!! Yoi" he moans as he speeds up from him being slowed down to talk which edged him on. Thrusting harder and faster again into your g spot another hour passes you cuming once more in that time before you feel his cock stiffen

"(N)! Im gonna cum are you- Yoi" you cut him off panting loudly, lewd face

"Im close handsome!!" As he continued thrusting you felt your core build and build until

"Fuckk I couldnt hold it! Im cumming Marco!!" You feel your walls constrict around Marcos cock tightly as he moans out

"Aghh!! Take my hot cum in you (n)!!" Sweat dripping from him onto you as you feel his cum squirting into you as you both moan eachothers names.

"Marco!!"

"(N)!! Yess! Yoi" he moans him pounding through your sex highs as he slowly slows down then eventually stops. Resting his head inbetween your breasts panting you both take time to breath again. Once both of your breathing normalizes he asks

"How was that my precious girlfriend?" Looking you in your eyes as you brush a hand through his hair. The other caresses his cheek as you reply

"Best ive ever had to be honest Marco" he smiles as he clutches you tight making his cock go deep inside you causing you to moan as your legs are twitching wrapped around his torso. You hang onto him as he holds you getting off the bed and headed to his bathroom he turns on the water waiting for it to warm up he rubs your back as you kiss his neck.

"Thank you my handsome boyfriend"

"Of course. Yoi" he says as he kisses your forehead and steps into the shower supporting you.

"Okay I have to pull out now (n)" whining you just nod releasing your grip. He holds your thighs as you slide out and down until hes all the way out and you reach the floor shaking. He holds you close to him as the water cascades down you both, you closing your eyes hugging him.

"Im glad you made a move hehe" you giggle and he smiles.

"Me too. Yoi" he says in a huff. Soon you regain some control of your legs as he soaped you both up then you both rinse off. He turns off the shower and grabs two towels one for you and one for him. As you dry off your (L) hair he seems to already be dried off. You watch him grab both your clothes and hands you yours as you hand him your towel you get dressed in your panties, bra, shorts, and t shirt.

"Whew how long was that?" You ask as your legs shake still, while you wobble to the living room and plop down on the couch.

"About three and a half hours. Yoi" he yells from the bathroom. He comes out dressed in different casual pants but no shirt. You blush

"How are you cutie? Yoi" he asks you. You giggle and say

"Im great its hard to walk but how about you?"

"Im doing great too sexy. Yoi" he comes round the table to sit close to you as you cuddle his side he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

~Three Months Later~

Dofo made your schedule permanent since you were bringing in more customers for the day time shift. Ace was one of those customers who loved coming in on his days off specifically requesting you when he comes in. Youve gained more of a following on Tweet too. You had a green screen up in your studio living room to prevent anyone from knowing where you live. You adjusted your set times to at night after "hanging out" with Marco. The Cam Girl Killer struck two more times over the months. You and Marco have been actually hanging out more frequently now that youve adjusted to your new schedule which happens to be Marcos schedule too. You have a healthy sex life. One day Doflamingo said youd have to take over Baby Fives shift at night the next night. You text Marco that you have to fill in for Baby Five.

(N) <Hey babe I have to cover for Baby Five tonight we wont be able to hang out>

Marco <All right just be careful. Ill stay up tonight>

(N) <No please sleep. Ill get in around five am thats so early>

Marco <Then ill wake up around that time. Im gonna do what im gonna do dont worry about me. I just need you to be safe>

(N) <Allright dear goodnight>

Marco <goodnight cutie be safe>

(N) <I will be handsome>

~After Work Covering For Baby Five~

You call an Uber to go home. As you walk into the lobby the door closes. You walk and open your apartment. You feel someone behind you. Instinctively you turn around and dodge a knife that a masked man dressed in a delivery uniform for UPS thrusted at you.

"Marco!!! Help!!!" Yelling at the top of your lungs you grab your taser and aim at his neck as he thrusts again you not seeing where it landed. You connect with his neck as Marco runs out of his apartment with only pants on and a baseball bat. He sees you against the wall and the perpetrator convulsing standing as you keep the taser on his neck.

"(N)! You can let go now hes done! Yoi" you let go of the button and drop the taser in your bag while Marco calls the police. The man falls to the floor. Then you feel faint as you feel Marco cetch you. You passing out.

~A Day Later In The Afternoon~

Flickering your eyes open you hear a HBM rise in BPMs and a familiar voice saying.

"Marco shes awake!" You try sitting up seeing your in the hospital but you hear.

"Hey lay down. Dont sit up yet let me get the bed for you. Yoi" you see Marco come into your room and you obey him laying back down as he adjusts the electric bed to sit you up while your laying on it.

"What am I doing here Marco?" You question as he calls on his phone

"Hello yes this is Marco Phoenix (N) (L)s awake now yes come now okay bye Yoi *click*"

Cocking your head to the side you feel a dull pain in your side as you realize youve been changed into a hospital gown.

"Marco" you say as he directs his attention to you now.

"(N) do you remember what all happened? You were stabbed by the Cam Girl Killer. Law said it was a miracle the knife didnt cut through your organs. Hes the one who did your surgery. Yoi" he says as it all comes rushing back.

"I was coming home from having to cover for Baby Five and the delivery guy thrusted a knife at me so I tased him then you came out and it all goes black from there on." You explain to Marco as he nods.

"I just called the police they wanted to talk with you since they caught the Cam Girl Killer because of you. And I called for an ambulance yesterday for you by the way. Yoi" Marco says.

~Once The Police Arrive~

"Hello miss (N) (L) could you tell us what happened?" The police and a detective asks as you explain your SlayStar on Tweet a Cam DJ, Marco doesnt seem fazed. Then explain the events as they unfolded. Marco is released to go see other patients as you finish with the police. Eventually Marco makes his way back to you.

"Hey Marco when can I go home?" He looks at you then says

"Ill get you discharged soon okay. Dont go anywhere cutie Yoi" he says then dissapears out the door.

'Haha dont go anywhere? Like I can barely move anyways haha'

You blush red as Ace comes in with a bag of your things and paperwork for you to sign.

"Woah why are you blushing? Or are you just happy to see me? Haha So tell me (N).... is it true your SlayStar?!" He blurts out as your face says it all.

"Oh shut it Ace!"

"Haha you are thats awesome! I know a famous person now!" Ace blurts out as Marco comes back in and says

"Ace stop harassing her and keep it quiet she probably doesnt want anyone else to know Yoi" Marco says as he undoes all your cords.

He addresses you

"(N) you all set you can get changed now. I hope you dont mind but I brought you some clothes from your apartment so you dont have to wear your work clothes. I put your key back on your lanyard. Yoi" Ace snickers as Marco explains.

"Thank you handsome" you say greatfuly.

"Ouu wait are you two like a thing now?" Ace asks as you and Marco blush looking at Ace.

"Oh man you are thats awesome! Congrats guys!" Ace exclaims.

"Anyways (N) I told Doflamingo about your situation so dont worry about it he says your job is secure just to get better quick dammit that hes taking this out of your sick pay." Ace explains.

"Thanks Ace it means a lot."

"Come on Ace let her change. (N) be careful of your wound. Ill help you change the bandages when they need changing. Ill see you tonight we have things to talk about" Marco says as you nod and gulp.

'Did I just ruin our relationship by omitting the truth that im SlayStar?' You think as Marco and Ace leave closing the door. You slide your legs out, sit up carefully and stand with some effort. Getting the hospital gown off you see gauze and tape on your abdomen with some blood spots in the gauze.

"Shit" you say and get dressed in black denim shorts and a t shirt.

'Wait Marco must have found out im SlayStar first when he went into my apartment fuck Im gonna have to apologize to him' you think as you put on your black sneakers which you wore to your work when you covered for Baby Five.

'Thank god I didnt wear my thigh high boots that night' thinking as you get your phone and lanyard out wrapping it around your neck.

'At least I have battery left in my phone to call an Uber. What?! Its three pm in the afternoon well at least Marco will get off soon. Who checked me in here? Probably Marco I mean he is my boyfriend.' You grab your bag which had your purse and work clothes in it and head out of the room. Walking outside you call an Uber home. Once home you eat and drink some water then lay in bed for a couple hours until you hear a knock at your door. Slowly getting up you unlock the door and open the door wide revealing

"Hello beautiful. Yoi" Marco says poking your nose as you giggle and open your door wide swinging your arm out gesturing for him to come in.

"Whats this? Am I finally being invited into your apartment? Yoi" he chuckles and pets your head as he walks in taking off his shoes putting them next to yours. You close and lock your door as you go to your bedroom feeling Marco following you. You lay down as Marco lays next to you. Looking into each others eyes he says

"So when were you gonna tell me? Yoi" you blush and think before speaking

"I didnt want to lie to you... you know the stigma against cam girls... I was gonna tell you eventually..... im so sorry Marco. I understand if you want to breaku-" you were cut off by his lips on yours. After a soild couple minutes of kissing you both break off.

"Dont even think that (n) I dont want to breakup thats not what I meant when I said we need to talk. Yoi" he says and cups your cheek.

"Then what did you want to talk about handsome?" You ask as you gently turn over on your side more facing him.

"Well for one youve been hiding half your life from me for over four years... let me inside (n) I want to be apart of your life like your apart of mine. Yoi" he says then removes his hand from your face.

"Okay handsome come with me" you say getting up and headed to the living room, him following you, which you converted into a studio but it still had a couch at least. You go to the kitchen and the fridge getting two Dr. peppers then set them on your desk as you set up your turntables chose and put on a wig. Doing your makeup quickly. And change clothes into a comfy DJ outfit. Marco grabs a Dr. Pepper opens it and sits on the couch watching you. You turn on your computer and start up Tweet.

"Hello everyone im back at it!"

<your in the news>

Slick

<ya check channel nine>

Kiwi

<I love your sets>

Robot

<I love you>

Blue Phoenix

<Is it true you you were stabbed its all over the news>

Frog69

<Heya>

Surgeon of Death

<Whatsup>

Fire Fist

"Here lemme check real quick" you check the Yourtube really quick and see the subtitles saying

[Popular Tweet Star SlayStar was stabbed but survived the Cam Girl Serial Killer.... the killer has been captured...]

"Ya wow I am in the news, and thank you my OG Robot and Blue Phoenix I love you too awe! And yes I was stabbed but it missed my organs. Hi Surgeon of Death and whatsup Fire Fist"

'Surgeon of Death must be Law and Fire Fist must be Ace' you think. You look at Marco who was smiling on his phone then clicked it and set it down.

'So hes Blue Phoenix well makes sense'

"Anyways im gonna start with Lizzo - About Damn Time" you start skillfully mixing that song with Ed Sheeran - Shivers then continue and eventually end with Ed Sheeran - Shape of You.

"Whew how was this set guys? I hope good. Ive been feeling inspired lately" you glance at Marco whose staring at you work sipping his Dr. Pepper.

<night>

Kiwi

<Hope you feel better>

Robot

<ya hope your allright be careful>

Slick

<Use an ice pack on the wound itll bring down the swelling>

Surgeon of Death

<Awesome set!>

Fire Fist

You look at the chat.

"Night Kiwi, thanks Robot, ya right Slick, thanks Surgeon of Death ill do that, thanks Fire Fist okay ima call it a night thanks to all my subs and viewers~♡ I hope you have a good day or night where ever you may be goodnight" *click* you end the stream and open your Dr. Pepper sipping it as you take off your wig and change your clothes. Then you use a makeup wipe to take your makeup off throw it away and break down your turntables.

"You did wonderful (N)~ Yoi" You hear Marco say. You make him some udon which he happily accepted. After he finished you put the bowl and fork in the sink and say

"Come on I wanna cuddle my boyfriend. Do you work tomorrow?" You question as he follows you to bed.

"No I dont im free and I know you dont work tomorrow so we can cuddle all night babe. Yoi"

"Oh but first let me go grab some stuff youll need. Law may have done a great job stitching you up but youll still need to heal. Yoi" he says then heads out of your apartment. After a couple minutes you hear the door and it lock as Marco rounds the corner of the hallway headed to your bed and lays some medical bandages, gauze, and tape out on the bed.

"Here come lay down flat. Yoi" you hear Marco say and you obey as your flat on the bed in front of him now. He changes your bandage as you pick your head up watching him. Then he tapes the gauze in place and goes and throws away the used bandage then comes back.

"Thanks handsome" you chirp as he puts the rest of the bandages on your nightstand along with his glasses and slides into bed cuddling you gently.

~One Year Later~

At the restaurant Shellfish. You and Marco sat at an outdoor table with a firepit next to you. He had told you to dress up, so your wearing a tight short black dress that shows your curves with matching your black furry pump shoes with a pleather black purse with metal strap.

"You look stunning this afternoon (n). Yoi" Marco says dressed in a grey suit and grey pants and white collared shirt as you blush.

"Awe thank you. Your looking very handsome as well" Smiling at eachother he reaches over on top of the table to hold your hand. You see the waitress come up to you both.

"Welcome to Shellfish what can I get started for you?" Looking at her name tag you could see her name was Sara.

"Ill have an Irish Ale. Yoi" Hearing Marco say as it was your turn next.

"Ill have a Malibu Sunrise thanks" you say as Sara nods then heads inside to get the drink order in.

"Starting strong I see Yoi" You look up to meet Marcos eyes from your menu.

"Huh oh yea well It was a tough day at work." He raises an eyebrow at you as you explain.

"Well I got this four person group of rude guys who kept commenting on my look saying what they would do to me outside of work but they got drunk and left so its whatever" You say as he squeezes your hand.

"You know I support you in your job but I have to say I dislike your clientele. Yoi" He says as Sara comes back with your drinks.

"Thank you. Yoi"

"Your welcome you two. Are we ready to order?" Sara asks. Marco orders his food first as he sees you looking at the menu still hands still intertwined.

"Ill have the steak drizzled in pineapple sauce and diced tomatoes and mushrooms."

"Allright sir and for you miss?" Sara asks.

"Ill have the Ahi tuna roll with a side of rice and lemons please and thank you." she nods writing down your orders then goes to put your orders in.

Making small talk as your waiting for your food he seems antsy.

"Are you alright my love?" He looks like hes been caught thinking about something.

"Ya- ya im fine dear just hungry Yoi" he says rubbing his stomach chuckling. You both continue talking about work when you see Sara come back with food and sets it down backwards. You and Marco just smile and wait for her to leave before swapping plates you giggling. After finishing dinner you sip your Malibu Sunrise finishing it off.

"Thanks for dinner you didnt have to honey~" You coo as he replies

"Anything for my love~ Yoi" He says then stands up and stands in front of you.

"Marco what are yo-" he shushes you then gets down on one knee getting out a small black box, opening it to reveal a sapphire heart ring.

"(N) (L) Would you do me the honor of being my wife? Yoi" Making eye contact with you. Mouth agape your shocked but respond

"Awee Marco id love that yes of course sweety!" You both smile as he slides the ring onto your finger.

"Ah perfect fit" You say as he sits back down and others clap for you both. After Sara comes back with the bill Marco puts his card down after writing up the tip. After leaving the restaurant he calls an Uber while holding your hand.

~At Marcos Apartment Celebrating The Engagement~

"Congratulations guys Im happy for you both Ya" Law says as Marco fills the four glasses with wine.

"Thank you Yoi"

"Thanks Law it means a lot" You say smiling wide just like Marco. Marco hands everyone a glass as Ace says

"Ya congrats you both. So whens the wedding?"

"We just got engaged Ace we dont have a date set yet." You giggle as Ace shrugs.

"I dont know you guys coulda been planning this" he says as Marco explains

"Ace she didnt know I was going to propose she was shocked. Yoi"

"Ahh okay well anyways congrats guys" Ace says and sit on the couch with you and Law leaving space for Marco.

"Hey Marco what do you have planned? Ya" You hear Law ask.

"Were going to play some rounds of Uno."

"Yess!! Your all going down!!" You yell as they all chuckle. Law won the first round then Marco won the second your all on the third round. Its been hours and sipping your drinks.

"No fair I have half the deck!" Ace whines and complains as you, Marco and Law snicker and laugh at Ace. You all have a glass of wine, each on your second glass. Your getting too tipsy by the third glass since you had that drink at the restaurant too and Marco notices.

"Uno!!" you yell laughing evilily as you sway and show one card to them all.

"Heyyy!! Shes cheating guys!" Ace yells as you chuckle evilily.

"No your just bad at this game Ace. Ya" Law says which makes you giggle.

"Hey I am not cheating. S'not my fault you suck at Uno" You snicker while sipping your third glass. Ace just glares at you with a blush on his face mouth open.

"Okay okay thats enough you two. Ace its your turn go. Yoi" Marco chimes in.

"Oh yea well take this (N)!" he yells and slaps down a yellow skip card which makes your mouth hang open, making Ace laughs maniacally. As the time ticks by you had to draw more cards but won the game. Now your all watching TV surfing through channels. After awhile of channel surfing

"Aight I think I better get going guys congrats again" you all hear Ace say as he stands grabbing his phone from the table and head to the door. Then Law gets up grabbing his phone too, following Ace.

"I better get going too my girlfriend is waiting on me. Congratulations you both. Ya" Law says as he opens the door and they both say goodnight and leave. You help Marco clean up the glasses as you down the rest of your glass.

"No more drinking for you. Dont want a hang over tomorrow do you? Yoi" He says while washing the glasses as you dry them.

"But its a special occasion Marcooo" whining you put away the glasses in the cupboard. He chuckles then says

"Ya your right I guess ill have to just take care of you tonight. Yoi" Giggling You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind you kiss his shoulder leaning your head on him as he finishes wiping his hands off.

"Hey let me hug you. Yoi" You release him as he turns around hugging you.

"Can I have cuddles tonight?"

"Of course you can beautiful. Yoi" Letting you go he cleans up the cards then heads to the bedroom too which you follow. Unbuttoning your shorts and sliding them off you slide into his bed as he takes off his shirt goes to the kitchen you hear water running then he comes back and hands you a cup of water. Gulping the water down you set the cup on the nightstand with your phone alarm allready set. Marco slides into bed motioning you to cuddle with him. Sliding over to him you wrap your arm around his waist as he slides his arms under your head and around your waist pulling you closer. Inhaling his scent makes you wet but your too tipsy to initiate anything.

"I love you Marco~ Im glad you chose me."

"Of course my dear. I love you too now get some sleep. Hopefully you wont have a hangover tomorrow. Yoi"

[violet-moonstone]

the MCU's rhetoric about political resistance/change is often so insidious. the only time we see people who want to change the status quo, theyre destructive and often incapable of feeling compassion for anyone outside of the group theyre fighting for. so the only two options are siding with the cruel antagonist who wants real change and the heroes who will make small concessions so that the audience feels good but ultimately they uphold the harmful status quo. I'm not saying this doesn't happen in real life, but when a trope pretty much becomes the default, you start to see the writer's political messages coming out. ESPECIALLY when the primary threat comes from exploited working class people/oppressed minorities and not the colonialist powers and corporations that put them in that position.

sidenote: when i watched black panther 2 and realized that the primary conflict was going to be black people fighting indigenous people and that western hegemony and exploitation of resources was just a side plot, I immediately lost all hope for that film. I loved the music, the visuals and the fight scenes, but the writing?? i was so disappointed. All the dissatisfaction I felt from Black Panther 1 came flooding back. Before they were pitting us against each other, this time it was against another oppressed group...hhhhhhh. anyway jokes on me for expecting different. I really just need to read The Deep (and if its anything like the song its based on, its probably much better executed than wakanda forever).

anyway, yes, the audience has the freedom to see things with nuance but i dont think most people will (because "its just a fun superhero move, why are you taking it so seriously?"), and I dont think the writers want them to - otherwise they'd start including more nuanced characters rather than villains who we are shown have to be defeated for the greater good, no matter how valid their arguments may be. and I understand that the vast majority of people are not watching superhero movies looking for nuance and depth but thats all the more reason why so much of the MCU's writing is concerning. Every time we're faced with a troubling political/ecological debate, the conclusion is that whoever tried to change things was in the wrong, and we'll make a small concession at the end so everyone feels somewhat satisfied and doesn't really have to confront any uncomfortable implications.

ex: infinity war shows us Thanos' eco fascism as the main (and only?) criticism of the overconsumption of resources. I may be wrong but I don't remember anyone talking about sustainability as vital solution or anything...and in FATWS the conversation is STILL about the pros and cons of the Snap - not anything to do with sustainability...because that would require the audience to be confronted with real life political implications that are bit too close to home. Even to have one or a few characters suggest an alternative and for Thanos to shoot it down because he doesn't trust people to be sustainable, and because he truly thinks killing people is the best possible plan (which makes no sense btw because it implies that all species are overpopulated at the same and that every single species in the universe consumes resources in the same way..they made movie!Thanos *seem* so intelligent but his thought process literally makes no sense. and fans bend over backwards to justify it because "hes the mad titan" even though you clearly cant use that defense based on the way he's written in the film. The writers clearly want us to see him as rational but cruel...anyway its not 2018 so let me stop beating the dead horse of this tired topic)

basically, theres rarely (if ever) a middle between the two extremes, because theres no room for that. There has to be a good guy and a bad guy...perhaps a well intentioned and misguided bad guy, but ultimately still a bad guy. The options are: pretty much nothing but minor things change and the problem still exists OR everything changes but it would require the violent villain getting their way and killing innocent people in the process.

anyway thank god for the spiderverse , which actually does the opposite (and thank god spiderverse is not directly part of the MCU and the writers actually have something to say). I think the loki show may be doing something similar but im not caught up so idk. loki to me feels like spiderverse but with less narrative cohesion

[medtech-mara]

🖊 + Jack Adams, please :)

Ohhhhhh!!! Ya know I had to 🏃🏽‍♀️ !!!! and answer this

Gush? About Jack Adams? I thought you’d never ask!!!!

Well, let’s start with some facts about me making him. but first.. click for song will set the tone.

He’s my first ever real male OC.

He was never meant to be a love interest

Never meant to be Jayce Adams brother (old legacy gta5 rp character of my husbands) I threw it out as a joke weeks before the campaign started to make Mara’s life hell. He decided to do just that. I didn’t know til he was introduced naturally in the story.

I don’t actually remember what his first first name was.. and he was White.

Though Jack is my original character, I surrendered him to the DM.

I collabed with @cyberneutral to make Jack’s preset. (They make legendary male Vs imo) He has been edited along the way, but the Orignal is still very much present and I cannot be THANKFUL enough for them to bringing my dreamy Jack to life, exactly as i had pictured... I know what i had asked for was extremely difficult but they did it. *smooches picture of jack* I'm sure they are sick of me tagging them about it. I hope this will be the last... UNLESS🖤🖤🖤???

Jack Sergio Adams, is a 33 years old, grew up in a normal middle class household for the most part, except for the fact his best friend practically living with his family, who had accepted her as one of their own, a daughter they never had.

The story of Jack Adams in the canon story is a tragic one, I will only touch the canon story a little, but I will GUSH about him in the AU: Water on Mars (keep and eye out on the TAG!).

Jack, had followed Mara everywhere, they joined Med school together, joined trauma team together, killed the same man and subsequently fired together, saved from murder charges from Marco Guerrero and Jayce Adams standing on TTI and NCPD... you guessed it.. together. So, after months of grinding at Meatwagon, Jack gets the idea that they should set up a clinic in the Wellsprings, to give back to the community, to atone for their sins on trauma team. (not killing that guy tho, he deserved what he got.) The two worked their asses to the bone, taking every extra shift they could and coverage to make it happen. After 2 years since the Clinic opened its doors, the rhythm of life has started to slow down, and the time started to look right, He just needed to find the words to say to Mars. He never got the chance, as when Mara started seeing this Rockerboy J I H Z Z Y, who he was convinced wasn't going to last long. WRONG. However Jack would never see how wrong he was, as he tragically was killed by Maxtac's C-SWAT team after hearing from Mara everything that had been going on her life. The Killswitch.... He asked her if things could go back to normal once the killswitch was removed, but when she admitted that she had agreed with his twin brother Jayce, that when the killswitch is removed, she is to report for duty at Maxtac, becoming a C-SWAT member. This caused Jack, who was at this point mostly cyberware from the city center attack, he couldn't handle that much put on him at once, which caused him to slip into cyberpsychosis. Murdered in front of Mara before she could tell him she loved him and was throwing everything away to keep him on this side of sanity, he met his tragic end. His song for this campaign: Here

Okay. I know thats more than I had promised about canon, but I promised there was A LOT MORE you need to know. But I wanna gush about AU Jack!!!

Much like the same in canon, except, Mara starts seeing this Space Corpo named Titus Atredies, 6'5, Body swapped. Jack, knew he stood no chance against that, but when things didn't work out and Mara broke things off, Jack knew he wasn't going to let this chance slip. He started working out again, dusting off his combat experience and joined the merc world, all without saying a word to Mara, he has to protect her. (Canon Jack makes the same decision much later and never tells Mara but by then Mara was so far ahead he couldn't catch up) One night, Mara and Jack had plans to head out to Tios (The unoffical name of the bar next to Mara's place. He is everyones uncle who frequents the bar, which, ya know my girl does... alcohoilc) when on Mara's run home, she called and said she had a gig to save some girls kidnapped. Though, a part of him was disappointed, however, he knew this was Mara's calling. She'd do whatever it took to keep another girl ending up like her childhood friend Jennifer Costa (You can read what happened here). However, Jack found it extremely odd, that later that night he didn't even get a zchat saying she was off the gig. Even stranger, she didn't show up for work, no one saw her for her run. She was.... Just gone? That doesn't make sense though. Mara would never just disappear without a word, something terrible had to have happened. Something terrible indeed... See, Mara had gotten off that gig, and on her way home, taking N-CART. Militech shoved her onto the track electrocuting her, causing her to pass out and her kiroshi's to pop. When she woke though, she was unable to see, and calling out for a nurse proved to be fruitless, because when she did get a response, it was from a Maelstrom booster informing her of her predicament. Luckily for her though, They had found a frequent flyer card for AV travel under the name of Titus Atredies, which meant they knew they had struck gold. They would be holding her for Ransom until Titus or someone named Jack Adams could pay for her release. After hours though, no one showed, which meant they needed to move locations to ensure that NCPD wouldn't be showing up. Loading her up in a van, they started to transport her from Santo to NID, where the boosters began to Jones for their next high. Mara, had been sending out pings to Jago, as he lived in Kabuki and she knew they were taking her to Totentanz and then to All foods factory in their pursuit of Black Lace.

When at All foods plant, the driver had come back and still no Jago.. Mara convinced no one was going to save her, she'd rather have a bullet to the back of her skull than to find out whatever plans these sick fucks had in mind, prepared to run, as they didn't think to strap her down. Suddenly theres two taps on the driverside glass, and before the Maelstromers would even say anything, there was shot after shot into the driver and passenger, which cause Mara to scream from being startled and begging for help. When suddenly, she hears Jack's voice call out to her.... He'd saved her. Though, Jack did have trouble getting started at a Merc, his first group being slaughtered on their first gig together, doesn't look good on a Medtech merc that can't keep his team alive, so he was dropped by his fixer. When Mara decides, why not. Night Raid is about to disband no gigs coming in from them and all the ones she's been doing has one she's fixed for herself. So why not add Jack to the team? She'd watched him stand toe to toe with someone with Mantis blades and still on this side of the earth. He was far more capable than Mara had anticipated, as he had started making his own toxins and drugs to use during combat. Which, He did decide to make a cologne on one, just anyone down wind of him would become frightful and have mild hallucinations.

pictured: Tios bar

Okay... You asked me to GUSH ABOUT HIM. So I have... but thats only the tip of the Iceberg. Jack is finding his own and more confident everyday, I know it seems like He revolves around Mara but CONSIDER THIS! He lived in the shadow of his fraternal twin, Jayce, and constantly having to keep an eye out on the road ahead, because as long as Mara is behind the wheel, they are doomed for some kinda mess.

I honestly never thought that Mara and Jack would EVER get together like never ever. The fear of losing the closest thing shes ever had to a family is a risk she wasn't willing to make until... Well a bit of wine, a homecooked meal made by jack, and the dice saying its happening. It was almost like all they had to do was just get that tension out of the air for them to see that they were meant to be. Now if only Jago would stay out of the picture...

I will understand if you never ask me anything ever again.... but please ask me more xD

[thedawningofthehour]

I’ve finally finished the chapter!!! :) now I can ask about it.

I don’t know about you but I despise sandels. I would wack him upside the head too. They’re uncomfortable and make weird noises on the floor. They’re just really weird to me I guess. So I appreciate Hueso.

I don’t know if she’s been talked about before in the fic but I assume the girl is Kendra. She always seemed to have a lollipop of some sort on her. I miss watching her and Donnies fights in the show. They were always really funny.

I speak from experience when I say that this ^ is one of the most accurate descriptions I have ever read. When something traumatic happens people brains have a really cool function of forget, ignore/deactualize (is that a word?) or break down. From personal experience I understand the “I know this is really bad but it’s bad to the point of my brain giving up comprehending it and it simply doesn’t compute as anything worth my attention.” I don’t remember from my psych class last year what the name of it is, but I know theres a psychological name for it.

If this is going where I hope it’s going, i’m really excited! Gale isn’t the type of person to see something like that and leave it be. So i’m excited to see what he does with the info.

This made me want to cry. Thats all.

Love your work! Have a great day/evening/night. Can’t wait for the next update :)

Oh yeah, they are loud. I wasn't even really thinking about it from that direction, but Leo would absolutely be the dumb bitch who wore flipflops to a stealth mission.

Soup made a comment about him wearing socks with sandals and like-to confirm, Leo has the fashion sense of a dead shrimp and would totally wear socks with sandals. Both because he's just that bad at being gay and also to annoy Donnie. But in this particular instance Hueso wanted to make sure he was wearing good walking shoes so his feet wouldn't be sore at the end of the day. (and he's not going barefoot because wtf they're probably immune to HIV but don't go tempting fate here)

I actually very much prefer sandals. I went to college way up north and I would take my trash out in flipflops when it was like -30 out. (I was also very stupid, so don't do this)(not that you can, it doesn't get that cold anymore)

Anita's a Yokai, so no her granddaughter is not Kendra. The Purple Dragons will have another cameo (maybe get a mention in the recovery arc, we'll see) but since everything else has ballooned we just haven't gotten to them.

Which is honestly really funny to me, because Kendra clearly considers herself very important and probably makes the 'Othello Von Ryan's ARCH ENEMY' thing a point of pride. Meanwhile Donnie straight-up doesn't remember her and his brothers are like

A lot of what Leo does is disassociate and compartmentalize, so he's very, very good at going "I know this is objectively horrific, but it also looks kind of sick. I kinda want to poke it with a stick."

Which is a very real and valid trauma response! Not everyone responds to shit the same way. For some people, turning off the 'holy shit' part of their brain or making light of it, that's literally their way of trying to process the thing. And it has its uses. It probably served Leo very well during the Krang war, when things went to shit and he was able to stay rational while everyone around him was panicking.

The problem being, of course, that Leo never unpacks that compartment and just lets it fester. So it just gets worse and worse until something finally rips it all free.

I think this was the first real Cass-Gale fight? Besides little arguments and teasings. I mean, they're siblings, and they're under a ton of stress right now. They're both ready to crack.

I considered having Cass storm off and ending it there, but I didn't really like that. Gale knows that he isn't really mad at Cass, and Cass knows that Gale was lashing out. They're both socially stupid but they know each other. At the end of the day, they'll always have each other's back.

[dearlyjun]

Omg I almost hit unfollow instead of talk I WAS LIKE NOOOO!!

Ooooo thats so nice!! Being a Multistan is great until you become broke! My first kpop group was Exo I remember Watching Monster and looking at Baekyun and being like who is this man and why is he so pretty!! Ngl I hid the fact that I was into kpop when I was in High school because it is so much more accepted now than back in like 2016! I remember one time in my AP Econ class I was sitting down and my school played a minute of a song before the bell rang and they played TT by twice and this guy behind me says "just like tt" AND I TURNED SO FAST!! I was like this isnt happening! we were both so shocked to find out the other was into kpop.

I am ENFJ from my last test result I took one last year!

I SAW A TT today and it was people making fun of californians because were all freezing our asses off rn! I really need to buy warmer clothing. I say this but I slept in shorts and a t shirt with the fan on last night....I KNOWW. I dont think I would enjoy driving in the snow that much. I feel like I would be stressed 24/7.

Japan is soooo nicee ive always wanted to visit!!

I saw your post about online schooling and let me tell you Ive always hated it. It feels so weird and you cant meet anyone and its lonely!!

Oh my god IM SORRY I TALK A LOT

ang please I love talking whether that’s to other people or just to myself so please I don’t mind!! 😭 (also hope if it’s okay if I call you a million variations of your name / nicknames because I do that lol)

ah I have actually known about seventeen since their debut in 2015 but I didn’t become a carat until 2022. weird shit. and I liked bts a teensy bit in 2019 when mots: persona came out but again….stopped listening. then the kpop stan came full force in april 2022. maybe it’s a good thing I wasn’t a kpop stan back in the day bc the pain of not seeing concerts sucks real bad. I actually don’t have any kpop stan besties irl, I’ve just converted my sister 🤠 she likes most of the same groups as me, just not the girl groups. (well she’s a casual newjeans listener)

I don’t even know what the weather is like in cali lol but I guess your cold is different from my cold. it’s like 35° here and I just went to the gym in a hoodie and a winter vest. we’re actually about to get some snow I think….grrrr😠 and yeh driving in it sucks. I’ve driven in snow storms so bad that you have to like sit up and drive in silence the whole way because you have to lock in.

since im going into the automotive industry, my mom has big hopes for me to work in Japan someday. even if its just temporary like a year or so. Im hoping after I graduate college i can travel there for fun and “plant the seeds.” BUT!! I have to learn some of the language first. im too sporadic with it and really need to buckle down.

yeah…..im a lonely girly lately. it’s really getting to me. I’m in my second to last semester of school and doing everything all online is just so very sad. I yearn for friendships.

[satoruhour]

hi lovely T !!! how r u doing? 😭

it's been so so long since ive been active in here, and ngl i missed u & ur wonderful blog ><

i just catched up on your geto fics and I NEED TO TALK. cause like,, listen.... i already mentioned once that i am studying linguistics in uni. and i am finally starting with my thesis :O

which means that im getting to the end of the road !! and bc of that i haven't had the time to let myself endulge in good ol smut. BUT I AM BACK AND OH MY GOD, i was welcomed with the most gut-wrenching, toe-curling, hair-gripping, nail-biting piece ever dude. you CANT just write the most amazing linguistic teacher suguru au ever and expect me to be normal. I FREAKED TF OUT. especially cause the shit we (hehehehehe) are arguing in class, it's stuff that i am very familiar with and i love it😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it feels so personal. and yk literature prof suguru is nice and all BUT LINGUISTICS???2&3&. you just hit my spot

all my kinks going brrrrrr for real. and ty for that😙😙😙😙💕💕💕

again, thank you for the food and for the smile you always manage to put on my face. u make me feel proud of what i chose for a career <3333 !!! see ya around T ! i hope u are having a good one, take rests and good luck !!! much love ❤️

xoxo

hello natooooo!!! im doing okay ! hahaah its okay im not very active at the moment either because of exams!! IM GLAD U LIKED THEMMMM hehe hopefully i remembered to tag you in most of them but yes! i rmb you do linguistics and i just wnted to continue off from that previoud geto drabble bc i feel like he would love linguistics sm !! AND WOAH!! all the best on ur thesis nato! LMAOOAOAOA im so happy u enjoy it ! i tried my best to research on linguistic terms but they all confuse me i did my best 😭😭😭😭😭 heheheh nooo omg thats such a big honour im glad you like my work to the point it influences your pride in your career ❤️❤️❤️❤️ take rests and all the best to you too MUAH MUAH xx

[tandytoaster]

I wonder if my family ever actually expects me to have kids. I have a sneaking suspicion that silently they hope that someday I reach mental clarity and decide to have children. Which will never happen. I don't mean this in a despairing way but I think things are just gonna keep deteriorating from here- or at the very least stay the same, which isn't that great. I've been much better before and I can't see myself reaching that state again for a very long time, if ever at all.

For some reason I've taken it upon myself lately to try to imagine just what it might look like? For 5 seconds sit in that discomfort just to affirm how horrible it would be for everyone involved. I just couldn't ever deal with everything that comes with that, like I already have trouble enough with the responsibilities I have. Its like a job that never ends and I already dread the thought of working 9-5, which thankfully I don't have to do.

I think whats started this was me thinking about how many people my age have babies / toddlers and how like... impossible it seems. It just doesn't make sense to me. Like there's this whole new thing that's ( hopefully ) going to be a permanent part of your life, changing everything, until you die.

So much of this is my perception of time being so horribly off, and my mind being stunted from trauma and mental illness. Like I'm just a kid :( but I'm almost 24. But I'm just a kid. I know my mind has grown in other ways and the way I see the world and process things but I'm still just a kid and it's something I can't bring myself to let go of. For the most part its not a problem but sometimes, but rarely, it kinda is, but thats more of a 'how other people perceive me' issue. My family knows I'm in a relationship they know I'm an adult I'm sure they assume I have sex and I don't like that!!! I don't want my family to think that about me even in passing. I know they're not Thinking about it but the thought of them even briefly being like, "oh she probably does that" i hate it it feels gross. I know there's so much to unpack here and idk where to start but that's why i go to therapy

I remember when I was 12, in health class we were doing the reproductive system unit at the end of the year and we were all talking about what we would do if we got pregnant / got someone pregnant and, as a 12 year old I didn't know abortion was something that people could do, so my only solution to this was, "I would just kill myself", not in like... a depressed way but in a "i need this problem to go away and this is the only way i know how" way. I'm so fortunate to live in a place where that's possible. Genuinely life saving care.

There's a lady I follow on instagram who recently had a baby and when she first announced she was pregnant she said she didn't want kids, it didnt come naturally to her, but she knew her partner did so she's doing this for him and hoping she'll grow to get used to the idea and fall in love with it- but it never happened. I know she loves her baby and is doing the best she can, but it's so... uncomfortable watching it all unfold knowing if she wasn't with her partner her life would be entirely different and be something she actually wants it to be. Makes me sad.

I wanted to play video game tonight but instead I wrote this oops

[trash-iest]

1,4,12,15,23,35,38,40,4650,55,60,75,78,83,86. You don't have to answer these. It's alot I know and I'm sorry. Just.. curious 😅

1. What do you crave in a psychological sense? Intimacy, passion, purpose, belonging, social interaction, etc.?

Passion & purpose (im sorry it's impossible to choose one)

4. Who's the most important person in your life right now? Why?

Myself because i need to consistently work towards my 5 year goal. Its the bare minimum but feels a lot so im hoping ill adjust and become a better version of myself if not the best.

12. What's your most controversial opinion? Would you state it publicly? What's the most controversial opinion that you would publicly support, if it's different?

The moon is made of cheese and pluto is a planet. Oh i would shamelessly state that publicly and stick out my tongue if the other person tries to educate me on the matter (im sorry if you were looking for serious answers, we dont do that over texting)

15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?

This is stupid (but youre allowed to laugh at how basic i am) Book: 13 reasons why. So just a bit of context: Up until grade 7 i was an extremely insensitive kid like id mindlessly laugh at people in school, made fun of their insecurities and was completely clueless about feelings/emotions. It was just considered banter since i was the class clown but the way id gang up with my group and tease other kids was wrong, yet no one corrected this behaviour (tbf i didnt grow up with cousins and they rarely ever visited so there was no sense of realisation) Now end of grade 7 i came across this book and I casually started reading it like any other book and lets just say i didnt expect the traumatising details. It was nothing like the stuff i used to read and it ended up giving me the biggest reality check. I started analysing my behaviour and realised how i might be an actual bully and i couldnt fathom the thought of someone resorting to self harm or suicide because of my silly jokes so i stopped and apologised to those few people. Lets just say this book was the first step towards developing eq and becoming a better person.

23. What would you never admit to in real life?

A LOT of things. I cant really think of anything atm but i mostly just stay quiet when people say questionable shit because i dont have the energy to explain my pov and idc about their opinion lol.

35. What's wrong with you? Physically, mentally, whatever comes to mind. What's right about you? What are your best and worst traits?

Physically— i have a HUGE nose, kinda short, dont have grey/hazel eyes, i wear specs (doesnt look cute), my nails chip every time i grow them out and theyre not a natural pretty shape. Also, i dont feel pretty like an actual girl; im not elegant or any of that and neither am i a hot tomboy. Im just eh. (Edit: i just remembered the dark circles and i look dead without lipstick/lip taint lol)

Mentally— anxious sometimes but thankfully no more anxiety attacks. I feel like my major trust and commitment issues come under personality disorders but ill just list them here. My therapist said im stubborn and very rigid (and I believe him over anyone else) and quite frankly i feel incapable of forming a real human connection. To sum up my worst traits: Im mostly horrible at reciprocation, im always emotionally unavailable, im selfish, hella lazy, careless, stupid. Im definitely forgetting something so whenever I remember it ill add it here lol. My best traits: im very understanding when it comes to the other person needing their space. Im a good listener because i rarely have good advice or solutions lol. Im calm and rarely ever lose my temper which doesnt really last long. I believe in communication instead of letting misunderstandings grow until they explode (im guessing thats good because it has strengthened my friendships)

38. Who do you miss, if anyone?

My 15 year old self. She was so happy, loved the way she looked and was so mentally stable (i might be considered a narcissist at this point)

40. Would you sacrifice your life for a stranger? An acquaintance? A loved one?

I WILL SACRIFICE MY OWN LIFE FOR PAKISTAN (its hard for me to be consistently serious, bear with it pls)

46. Do you have a "right person, wrong time"?

Yeah feels like it

50. What qualities do you find charming?

Whatever prince charming brings to the table (its so hard to be serious about this im sorry it reminds me of middle school)

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Certain songs, snacks and a few places.

60. What are you afraid of? What are your worst fears? Are you afraid of any of the following - the dark, fire, heights, being alone, people, spiders, snakes, blood, drowning, or death?

Betrayal/abandonment from someone i truly love, getting attached to the wrong person, staying unemployed after graduation, childbirth and raising my own kids, emotionally depending on someone and lizards 💀 Of the following: people, only the big spiders like tarantulas etc, snakes, drowning only because i dont know how to swim and its a very painful death from what ive heard so no thank you.

75. What is your favourite fairytale?

Definitely hansel and gretel because of that edible cottage (still such a dream) but I recently read the story of the youth who went forth to learn what fear was (grimm's fairytales) and its my favourite one as an adult now.

78. Have you ever written a poem or song about someone? Or had someone write one about you? Do you hope to have either of those experiences in the future?

Nope i havent. My best friend has written poetry for me, about 3 times. It was super cute but it constantly made me feel indebted because ive never made a grand gesture like that and what she wrote was proper poetry and she appreciates me so much. Ive only ever written her letters with my ugly handwriting yet she treasures them. Hypothetically if i do find someone in the future like that idk how id react but ill definitely be thinking about ways to reciprocate.

83. What's your type? Otherwise, do you think you attract a certain sort of person?

An aromantic asexual or at least someone whose love language isnt physical touch and theyre naturally not a cheezy person but i feel like im asking for a lot here since most people associate romance with their partners and what i say is considered abnormal or bs so lets not go there. Ill need to be attractive to attract a certain type of people or anyone for that matter lol.

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Honestly my chattiness depends on my mood or the type of day im having instead of a particular topic.