#thats gonna be one of my goals for 2024

[tomoathestory]

☆Introduction☆

{Personal}

I'm Cry! Or Tomoa, Moa, Crioh, or whatever other nickname you can conjure up for me lmao

Some of the things I'm interested in is Voltron: Legendary Defender, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (specifically the Dysfunctional Perspective on TikTok), DC (mostly batfamily stuff, but I like the rest of it too), and Criminal Minds. I'll update this when I remember because these are just off the top of my head.

I play video games often, mostly Overwatch 2, Fortnite, Monster Prom, Roblox, and occasionally Minecraft. I play more, but there's too many to list! (Junkrat/Mercy main here LMAO!)

My favorite color is orange, I'm not sure what shade, though. Purple is definitely a close second, tied with yellow. My favorite TV show is Criminal Minds!! Season 7 Episode 19, Heathridge Manor is my favorite episode (mainly because my favorite actor, Kyle Gallner, is the unsub)

{Writing}

I first started writing (like, creative writing in my free time for fun) when I was around the 4th grade. Or about 9 years old. My first ever story, from what I can remember, was this one piece of fanfiction that I refuse to name. (Seriously, you couldn't pry it from my cold, dead hands.) From then, my writing kinda just followed me I guess? It was never something that I really like, shared with other people. I've mostly written just fanfiction, but I also have some original works that I love to think about. I think my longest character has been with me since 2020? Maybe 2021. I'll introduce yall to him later!!

I'll try to reblog posts that have amazing writing advice that I agree with btw,

{Tomoa}

The story that this blog is about (it still has no name, that's why I'm calling it Tomoa for now LMAO) has been floating around my head since around Janurary/February of 2022. So it's been with me for a little while now. It's definitely change a LOT since then. Like my main character used to be named Lukas, and now his name is Aaron lmao. He also used to be Russian for some reason?

The story was also supposed to be a lot more angsty and sad, but now it's supposed to be more fun and romantic (I developed a boyfriend for Aaron, and it's so adorable)

At the time of writing this, I have 11 characters and a cat. I'm gonna make an introduction post for each of them as time goes on, but for now I'm gonna stick with just my own intro+tomoa intro.

Here's me trying to explain my storyline (poorly done lmfao)

Aaron gets kicked out by his dad (mom not in picture), and gets recruited by villains. He goes on to be a villain but is laying low. So, in his mid twenties (where the 1st book takes place), he's like an average villain. Nothing sticks out, just a (somewhat) regular villain. Little does he know, his arch-nemesis just so happens to be his high school friends-with-benefits who he may or may not still be talking to. (He definitely is. And it's not talking, it's "talking.")

{Extra - aka ramble time}

Some of my goals for my story is to try to allow for a little bit of each kind of representation. Does that make sense? I hope so. But like, for example, I have 2 aroace characters in my universe so far (I PROMISE ITS JUST BECAUSE IM TALKING ABOUT THE MAIN GROUP), and I'm trying to make most of my characters from different origins too. My main character is Mexican/German/American, so I've still gotta do a bunch of research for him. I want for people to feel seen and represented when they finish reading my book, but the main purpose (and the original one) is to entertain. So not only do I want them to feel seen and represented, but I also want them to be like "Hey, that was a damn good book." (And then write fanficiton and make fanart and make AUs and social media accounts about my story <33)

Also!! Yall can ask me anything!! I love answering questions!! You can also try to suggest something for me to write, I'll make another post about what I will/will not write

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

CARMEN SANDIEGO? In 2024? It's more likely thank you think! Please excuse the shit quality for some reason I wasn't allowed to upload the normal pdf and I had to upload a fucking screenshot???

So my friend convinced me to watch Carmen Sandiego and since he's watching ALL of Ninjago for me I thought it was the least I could do to watch four season of a show with a pretty decent concept but uh... yeesh, don't get me wrong the show is really fun but lord have mercy does it have problems especially the last two seasons which were just so wildly disappointing to me. It went from a show with an interesting look on morals to pure pro-cop and mostly black and white thinking so quick (that not mentioning the breaking up a found family full of people with abandonment issues) it was honestly just so disappointing so me and the friend who introduced it to me decided to rewrite it! (I will not be animating nor do I plan on doing more than MAYBE a comic or art piece here and there because my chronic pain ridden ass can not handle that much lol)

The main goals are to:

1) Flesh out characters that aren't Carmen and actually give them reactions based on their lived experiences and how they might realistically react instead of what the show needed to move the plot along

2) Having characters other than Carmen be actually relevant to the plot the main one being Chase Devineaux who we're gonna kind of have as a parallel to Carmen (trust me yall) as kind of a "What if Carmen didn't have her friends/family to ground her and fall back on" but for all the Chase fans out there (gods I hope there's some other than me) he will be getting a happy ending but bro is getting put through the RINGER first

3) Have both A.C.M.E (now standing for Administration for Containing and Monitoring Evil) and V.I.L.E be the bad guys. Also just as an extra bit of fun we're making VILE a full blown cult, they were very cult like in the show so we're just gonna make it one. Both are going to be very morally questionable and while it'll take a bit longer for ACME to show it's true colors don't you worry they definitely will ;)

4) We're doing canonical lgbtq+ rep, I know the show teased a lot of relationships and really only gave yall background gays not to say thats bad but we can do better than just a brief shot of a damn taco truck. I mean like come on in a story about a young woman going against the government for the greater good why not put some rep into it ya know!

5) We're making it light sci-fi, not like SUPER high tech but definitely beyond what we've got currently, as shown with Carmen's prosthetic, and don't worry I'm doing my research as a disabled person I know how it feels to be misrepresented or ignored so I want to make sure I'm being realistic

6) PLAYER ISN'T GOING TO BE A CHILD! I don't know if this bothered anybody else but to me it was really weird that this 16 year old's only friends were in their 20s!

Alright I think that's what I'm gonna say for now, I'd love it if yall tuned in for updates if your curious since this is a passion project for me and my friend and we're having a blast writing it!

As always I am still working on stuff for Ninjago cause I could never abandon my one true love, currently there's a Pixal drawing in progress (it's giving me hell T-T) something for Cole and Geo, and something of Sora MAYBE even Euphrasia if I'm feeling up to it.

Having said that I hope yall have a great day/night and PEACE OUT!

[kcalsforhim]

friday 1 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

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calories : 434 steps : 8.6 k

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contains : rice, chicken also contains : a muffin also : shredded cabbage

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alright, so starting on november first i was excited to get back to restricting, its been a while so i cant exactly recall what i was doing on friday... sorry for slacking, i wanted to update yesterday but my mac was annoying me so i just gave up on that then... although yesterday night i found this callender, so im motivated to start writing here. im not gonna post a link on twt anymore cause thats a pain in the ass to be frank... LOL. i like these kinds of callenders i can fill in, so thats what ill be doing... just a lil extra. this months theme will be nijntje.

on friday i did good on the cals. as i said earlier i was excited to restrict again after my free day on the 31st. i do remmeber going on the treadmil for one hour that day because i was motivated, but i didnt reach my 10 k. gonna try to get back on that however its sunday as im writing this sooo my weekend goal is only 5 k... fatty ?

the food tasted very good. i did not have rice in a long ass time. or well... to me.. ok ?? the chicken was good. the muffin was sweet and had some strawberry jam in them. my mother made it for me. and cabbage salad is well... cabbage... and um, vinnegar. i remember telling haku how i made it and i left him traumatised... lol

on other exciting news... i found the charger to the best device ive ever had the grace to spend 75 euros on. when i tell u this thing is holding on so strong causeeee i lost the charger for like a month and yet still it was giving me service... the strongest soldier LOL.

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bodychecks i took on friday. i was still a bit bloated because of the sushi but its gotten better already. i went from 52 something kg to 51 something kg. im almost back down to my LW (50.8)

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a glorious photo of a pretty skinny person. this reminds me of the minecraft thinspo. wait lemme. hold on. YEAH i want to be like this so bad i made eli order me like a minecraft hoodie thing and a phonecase and a plushie so i could serve realness. should i diy the tnt block ?

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this song is cool and catchy and the bluetooth thing does get a bit repetitive but thats ok because its on repeat regardless lol. zomb ur real.

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[ratatatastic]

"So, tell me with the Stanley Cup—that was with the whole team. But, you're gonna get a day with it...What are your plans?" "I have a lot of plans, obviously, we'll see what—one of them will work. I'm gonna try and bring it to Finland, to my hometown. Obviously, show it to my family, to the people who help me to achieve this goal, show it to the kids—young hockey players—all that kind-of stuff. We'll see what happens from there." "I mean, such a history for hockey, and Finland. Matthew Tkachuk jumped into the ocean with the Stanley Cup. Any plans of doing that in the North Sea?" "Maybe. Maybe, in the lake. I know it's not healthy for the Cup to go in saltwater." "That's what I was thinking when I saw that! Like 'Oh, they better clean that up fast!'" "Yeah, but lake should be fine."

nothing geeks me out more than the way sasha enthusiastically nods more when martina mentioned matthew jumping into the atlantic with the tincan like yep yep 🙂‍↕️ thats him 🙂‍↕️ he did do that 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Wimbledon Championships 2024 | 7.4.24 (x)

[junipercastor]

watched korean yuri anime movie called the summer Damn that shit was depressing lol. Beautiful animation and design but the story was depressing as hell Like damn did we need that in 2024? Did we really need that? like dont get me wrong its better than the slop Japan put out this year (Voice actress yuri with a talking male microphone, genuine bd*sm magical girl yuri about middle schoolers, maidxloli creepy stalker yuri) The Summer was better by far... But my god it was sad /__\ Just a Real Ass Movie™ ngl

spoilers/my thoughts below ^__^

virtually no character development for sui, which makes sense if yi-gyeong is narrating, bc sui basically closed herself off from her gf after her soccer accident in college. sui isnt the type to process her emotions so she just bottled it up and chose a different path for herself by quitting school. she pretty much only works for her life with yi-gyeong in the house they rent in seoul, they cherish each other but they have a lot of fundamental differences between them, stuff yi-gyeong views as sui's flaws. sui prefers not to think of herself, much to yi-gyeong's chagrin. instead sui focuses her efforts outwards, which manifests in achieving career goals like attending trade school to be a mechanic, instead of her former dream to become a pro soccer player. also unlike yi-gyeong, sui isnt an out and proud lesbian, and shes afraid to show affection in public lest she and her lover be judged for it (a rightful worry in korea). she looks down on yi-gyeong's university educated friends like she imagines they look down on her. they ask her if shes a student since she looks so young but thats a sore subject for sui obviously, since she dropped out after sustaining her knee injury.

ok on the other hand we have yi-gyeong who kind of got ...Evil character development? er, not really. but she did emotionally cheat on sui and took her time breaking up with her when she fell for yubin (the nurse). she isnt really evil, but the path she chose (university, working at a lesbian bar, having a lesbian group of friends) took her in a direction that cleaved from sui and she had to navigate dealing with it despite being emotionally dependant on her girlfriend

i think the story is nicely bittersweet because, you could have the most beautiful highschool relationship ever but of course life is going to throw curveballs at you. its gonna give you work, school, an injury to the knee, trauma, loneliness, rent money due, pretty girls that catch your eye even though you have a committed girlfriend waiting for you at home... and with all of that happening its no wonder the two grew apart. its sad but the love they shared was quite beautiful, and i love the moment when yi-gyeong returns to their shared hometown after breaking up with sui and after having finished a year long love affair with yubin. it's sui she remembers as she stares over the bridge into the water below, and its sui's smile and sui's voice she recalls telling her the name of the heron they both saw skating across the water the summer they first met. an enduring love, if not a lasting one

[vertebrae-entertainment]

4/5/2024 - Fangst animation rework!

Hi again y'all, Hauk here! If you've been peeking at our discord channel lately, you might have noticed I've been posting a lot of animation WIP's. Thats because I'm in the process of reworking some of the oldest sprites in the project- walking and jumping!

It can take me up to a year to nail how I draw and animate a character. For our protagonist the thing that has taken the most time is definitely line stylization, proportions and leg silhouette. He's gotten bigger and bigger during development, not to mention spikier! Honestly its not that smart to design a tall character for a platformer, and there's a reason most platforming type characters have a very square hitbox. Its just easier to design challenges that way!

But i'm not changing gears now!! I wanted Fangst to have a tall handsome man as a player character, and i'm gonna stick to it!!

Here's a peek at the new walk animation. The arm holding his fishing rod is a static, separate sprite that is basically glued to the player with code for gameplay reasons.

We needed a smart way to change and add bounce to the rod without having a million variants of every sprite. Here are two iterations on how a static arm could be anchored to the player. I want him to carry himself with a confident sway, as though the whole world is his catwalk- so perhaps the full bounce of the second one is too much!

Speaking of bounce, the double jump animation! Right now he has the very placeholder double jump solution of turning into a small rotating orb sonic style, and its been a frustrating disconnect seeing as the hitbox ordinarily is quite big.

My goal for this animation is that i want him to do a sexy, elegant backflip. I started with a version with an upside down split, but after some iterations we agreed that the simpler one would be more readable and use-friendly. But an upside down split is kinda iconic... maybe we can use it elsewhere?

A platformer player will spend most of their time jumping around, so nailing a satisfying, easily readable jump is important in both animation and feel. Characterization is also important here- i want it to be obvious that our player character is athletic and elegant, and that these acrobatics cost him little effort.

However, i'm expecting a bit of a pickle implementation-wise. See, him turning into a sonic-style orb made the walljumps feel practically seamless. Will a fully animated backflip be equally friendly? The sprite will be a lot bigger. Truth is, a character turning into a ball is just really easy to design around.

Here's the current in-game sprites, featuring his old jumps, idle pose and miiildly disconnected placeholder arm with a smaller fishing rod. As you might have noticed, he's also a bit softer looking, and his boots are way smaller!

I think the newer sprites will make him have a more stylish, cool and recognizeable silhouette. It will be worth it to update these old things- after all, inbetween all this technical game design stuff, its just also really important to me that the player feels like a cool and professional monster hunting fisherman!

Thanks for keeping up with our project, we're doing our best to make Fangst a proper quality "You: A Hot Man, Kill Monster!" experience!!

-Hauk

[ladadee195]

Ladadee meets Legends of Avantris at Too Many Games 2024 (LONG POST read at your discretion)

I'm not one to write up a trip report cause I'm firmly in the "no one gives a shit." camp but for this I feel like people will get a kick out of my anxious distress over the past two days and I know those that couldn't make it would also appreciate it.

I knew a few months ago that when LOA said they were gonna be at TMG that I could go, its only an hour away from me. I'd gone to TMG back in 2019 to meet Brandon Rogers of Youtube and Helluva Boss fame and even then I didn't get HALF as nervous as I did the past two days. I was a shaking hyperventilating mess. Embarrassing, truly.

Friday was worse then Saturday.

First off, we'd barely parked in the parking lot when we see Andy casually strolling across the parking lot and get into his very nice red mustang, nice to see where the car vlogs happen!

By the time we got to the booth I could barely breath but I wanted to grab my free pin and say hi first. I want to disclaimer this by stating that I realize LOA tries really hard to make it perfectly clear that the Party and fam are regular people that work hard to produce their content and be successful at what they do without being celebrities or influencers. Logically, I know this and I respect the hell out of it. However my hyperfixated brain and general anxiety made it incredibly hard for me to remain CALM. Its really hard to remain calm when you've been watching them by yourself alone in your room hours upon hours and then suddenly there they are in real life before you, talking to YOU! How am I meant to be remain calm?

Anyway, I met Andy and Nikkie. Talked briefly with Andy and just generally embarrassed myself but he's so cool ya know and is probably used to it all things considered. I asked them both to sign my Cake Chad shirt, both we're happy to do so and I got a great hug from Nikkie. After that I cut my losses and decided to move on. Their meet and greet wasn't for a few hours and we were hungry. When the meet and greet came, I jumped in line to get a picture. It went really quick and I got no chance to really talk to them but they were super awesome and I love the picture! I knew they were TALL but god I felt like a hobbit.

The live show wasn't until 7:30 so we left the con to check into our hotel and relax for a few hours. It was a nice break and I finally got to breath. We returned to the con and got seats for the live show.

if you haven't already seen other's overviews or the whole video I wont spoil anything but it was SO good. I was so curious about what they could possibly do for a one shot but holy shit was that amazing. Its always interesting and fun to attend live shows with cheering and laughter and suggestive whistles. Gives one a sense of community you only ever get a taste of on here or discord.

Afterwards we went back to our hotel and rewatched the whole show on the live stream LOL

Saturday I was much calmer because I had a goal. Get the whole parties signatures and not be embarrassing.

We did a lot of waiting cause the con opened at 11 and again their meet and greet was at 3 but we managed to pass the time well enough and then we got back in line. An readers when I tell you how amazing it went!?? I was very proud of myself even though I was still nervous and shaky I did much better.

They all were super cool and signed my Hootise shirt. I still geek out thinking about it! But the best thing happened. Richie saw my Gideon/Kremy candy bead bracelet I'd made myself and legit forgot I'd worn for this exact reason. This is how that went. Richie: is that a Kremy and Gideon candy bracelet?

Me: YES!I forgot I had that on!

Richie: thats the best I gotta get a picture and show Mace.

I was DYING omfg. The two behind the ship SAW my ship bracelet??? still freaking out. I decided that I should have made ones for them. I convinced myself they wouldn't like them, I know better now for next time.

After they'd all signed my shirt I gave them my thanks and MAYBE acted a little embarrassing when I told them name and that I was already in the discord but as I said earlier they're so cool and awesome I doubt they noticed me being like that.

i felt like even though it was short I had a really good moment with them which is all I really wanted.

I regret a lot of things. Like the fact that I had plans on making them gifts but ran out of time due to me being sick like right up until Friday and being so nervous and scared and I acted only a little crazy. I know next time (PAXUnpluged in Dec?) I'll be much better prepared.

I hope those that cared to read this very long post enjoyed my little overview. Just remember even though you may be scared and nervous to do something, you still should cause you never know how great it might be at the end.

[adozentothedawn]

Fic Wrap-Up Meme: 2024

I saw this and I actually did some writing again this year so hell yes, I'm doing it. Thank you @dragonologist-phd for the template! (Also anyone inspired feel free to consider yourselves tagged.)

FANDOMS: Rogue Trader (That was this year?? Damn), Pillars of Eternity, Dishonored. Just. So much Dishonored. 3 FANFICS WITH THE MOST KUDOS IN 2024 -

Magnetism (17)

It starts out small. The group of kids congregating around him as he shows off his skills. (Honestly this is kind of hilarious considering I wrote the entirety of it in 15 minutes on discord. I only posted on ao3 because people on tumblr seemed to like it so I thought why not, it works as a drabble.)

The Many Meetings of Death and Death (16)

Daud is a wreck. Corvo is a player avatar. Neither of them is happy about it. Well maybe the Outsider is. (Corvo is living the worst fucking groundhog day ever and Daud doesn't know but is confused. Also sometimes dead.)

From a Friend (13)

Corvo Attano, disgraced Royal Protector, has been in Coldridge for three months. Three months of enduring torture and his own all consuming guilt as he tries to simply stay alive. As the days are drowned in pain and anguish there is one thing he is forced to acknoweledge. Someone is sneaking him food. Hadria Granville meanwhile, ten years old and now abandoned at a foreign court, is terrified but determined to help. (The thing that jumpstarted my mildly manic Dishonored wiriting. I wrote this in 3 days which is insane considering my normal writing speed. But yeah man, Hadria just wanted to get involved i guess.)

The Words We Speak (13)

Corvo finds Jessamine's letter to Emily. (What it says on the tin. Corvo is just so fucking sad, man.)

FAVORITE OPENING LINE FROM A FIC IN 2024 -

I kinda have to go with "Daud is a Wreck." (The Many Meetings of Death and Death) considering that I used it 3 times for the chapter and will use it a fourth time before the year is over.

FAVORITE CLOSING LINE FROM A FIC IN 2024 -

Gonna nominate three for that actually, two depressing and one wholesome:

He never learns that the worst injury sustained by the Whalers is a broken ankle from falling out of a transversal when the bond breaks. - The Many Meetings of Death and Death chapter 3

The children slept, the adults did not, the warm fireplace threw flickering shadows on the wall, and for a while happiness reigned in Dunwall Tower. - The Height of Friendship

You have to succeed, so you don't care, you don't think, you don't feel, you simply stay silent and unseen, a shadow haunting the Tower, a ghost of past happiness who would suffocate the lies now living where your heart used to be. - The Words We Speak

FIC I’M MOST PROUD OF IN 2024 -

Man thats hard. I guess I'll say The Many Meetings of Death and Death? Mostly cause its a multi chapter fic and I am so close to actually finishing it, which is special for me. I do like the The Many Conquests of Daud though, I need to do more explicitely ace stories. I will defend this canonically ace character with my life, i need to fill this tag more.

NEW THINGS I HAVE TRIED IN 2024 -

Dishonored fanfic. Other than that like I said I finally started doing another proper multi chapter fic that I am not leaving out to dry like my poor Readceras children who have been waiting for like four years for an update, oops.

GOALS FOR 2025 -

I will continue writing Dishonored fic. Probably for 2 at this point then. Also I really need to write the second half of that two parter I started (They Had to Die) which I absolutely will do I'm just not sure if I can do it this year still. At latest in january I should be done, I was just bewitched by the existence of Daud.

I also, as stated, need to fill up the ace Daud tag, it is my holy calling, there's not nearly enough in there.

[mousydentist]

Fic data from 2023

Happy new year! This was a big year for me because I got back into reading fanfiction, and boy howdy did I read a lot of it. Over the year I tracked what fics I read got that sweet, sweet data about how much of what I read and when. So now it's time for it to all come together! I put the major stats above the read more line, and below are some other little details about the tags and types of fics. Without further ado, let's get into it!

My goal this year was to read 1000 fics which I realized around June was NOT going to happen. I actually read about 651 fics including re-reads. Not too shabby!

The total words of all the fics I started was 5,196,016 and multiplying by the percent finished (could be >100 for re-reads, or <100 for dnf) I read about 6,214,399 words. So, HOLY BALLS 6.2 MILLION WORDS???? JFC. THATS LIKE 16K EVERY SINGLE DAY. ok i will never again tell myself i didn't read enough this year. Can you imagine if I had hit 1000 fics?

Something else fun about the word count is that the average length was about 1584 words/fic.

My top months by number of fics were February (108 fics), April (88 fics), and March (66 fics). In terms of word count, my top months were February (1.4 million words), January (1.16 million words) and August (804k words).

Keep reading for graphs and data about tags!

Before we get into tags, here's the graphs for the stuff I mentioned earlier. Keep in mind that the first two are about fics I started, not necessarily finished, so the count may vary a bit.

The top three longest fics I read were meet me where the light greets the dark at 115514 words, Subito Sempre at 107053 words, and This Game We Play at 101717 words. Those also happen to be some of my favorite fics of all time.

Here's a graph about the length of the fic I read. "Format of a oneshot" is something that may be multiple chapters but was short enough that it could've been one. Idk this database was built on vibes.

I know 54% of the authors! Speaking of, there were 208 distinct authors I read from this year. My top author was JynxedOracle at 33 fics!

These are the fics I re-read most:

OK tag time! Let's start with relationship:

VegasPete almost had it for a while but KimChay will always be my ride or die. Also, if you can't tell, I basically read almost exclusively KinnPorsche The Series fics. For my top fandom outside of KPTS, that would be MCU, and my top non-KP relationship was SpideyPool. My highest rarepair within KPTS will go to my grave or the groupchat. :*)

My highest read additional tag by a WIDE margin (I'm sorry mother) was porn without plot. (Guess that explains why the average words is so low).

I was gonna post the graphs of all my tags but not only are they a mess, I simply refuse to out myself like that this publicly.

On to Warnings and Rating:

...Don't be ashamed of me, I'm ashamed enough of myself.

Final thing! I met my goodreads goal of 100 books by adding a random book every time I read up to 80k words! My goal for 2024 is to find god and maybe read something other than porn :)

Thanks for reading!

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

What are you grateful for in 2023?

What achievement are you proudest of?

What are your goals for 2024?

(Personal, fandom related, or otherwise)

Happy New Year ✨

@curiousnonny

all my friends and my partner<333 i feel like ive had the opportunity to really grow my relationships and i love them all more than anything and im so glad to bring them with me into 2024

this year, i made a point to be more intentional with my music -- i recorded songs, pushed some through production, and wrote more than i ever have. im really proud of myself for that because it took a lot out of me mentally and was pretty terrifying, though easy in the actual effort it took. also, it helped me figure out my style more and ive given myself permission to get silly with it and do whatever i want, which was holding me back a lot. i think last year i wrote 63 or 73 songs total, and i havent counted this year but its way more than that!! im gonna count soon and probably make a post (edit: 159! i wrote one hundred and fifty nine songs since january 5th. that is insane im going to go lie down)

related to above ^^ im hoping to record more and learn more about audio production -- maybe even actually put out some music on streaming! before that, though, im going to link my music on this blog somewhere, i think thats the first step. either way, im really excited!! this has been nothing more than a flimsy dream from when i was a kid but its insane to me that i get the chance to slowly make it real!

happy new year!!!!!! i wish all the best for you and yours<33

[keefwho]

April 29 - 2024 Monday

10:59pm

5/10

This morning I shaved my face and clipped my toenails. Also did laundry throughout the day but I think it still needs more drying. My CoStar said to let myself be weird today so I took that prompt and combined it with defusion to be on the lookout for thoughts that others might be judging me today. Breakfast was a jimmy dean sandwich and rice. I tried to start Ducktales again but I wasn't really interested. I started watching a neat little video about a disney animatronic theft DS linked me.

During my stream, 57 got rowdy with me right off the bat and made the mood weird. I also had to restart my PC before I could draw. No one was in stream today, even he had to leave at least partly because of work stuff. I warmed up by copying Spirit screenshots. Then I did my latest YCH for 2 hours. It was mind numbing, I got so bored by the end of it. I also felt bad about my coloring style being lacking as of late. I feel as though I've been trying too hard to play it safe even though the new way I've been coloring allows for greater freedom and experimentation.

After stream I was gonna play War Thunder or something but I saw TK was on VRchat so I joined her. She and NJ were playing chess which SUCKED but I stuck around while I starting preparing commissions for next month. Then I balled myself up in my hoodie and took a nap in my chair until she woke me up. I left to make lunch. Lunch was a really good tuna quesadilla. It was a little bit small for a meal and I did that intentionally since I've been averaging 141+ pounds. I've noticed my weight tends not to vary too wildly so even 1 or 2 pounds queues me to make small eating decisions over the next few days. Not that I care THAT much. Just something I consider.

Afternoon was spent doing today's request and drawing something quick and silly for DS. Then I started fabricating my next idea that I'll start on next week. I worked on PZ's VRchat world for an hour today. I meant to write the project off completely but I figure I'll spend my weekly Monday 1 hour time slot on it, thats not much. When I was done, I had agreed to play Roblox with TK since we didn't get to over the weekend. I introduced her to the basics of the horse game. I felt nervous because I couldn't tell if she was enjoying it or not. I didn't feel good at selling it because I sort of play it for the vibes. I think it's a great game to play if your primary goal is just chatting. I was about to leave to start dinner which is right when DS became free as well.

DS showed me how she fixed her fursuit's lips which was great, I was so sad to hear she didn't end up liking how they had turned out at first. I try to be reassuring but I struggle to be sometimes. Through my days learning how to manage creativity and artistic expectations, I've learned that there is no "failure" in a way and I like to try and convey this. I've learned you can brute for anything with enough attempts. And each slipup teaches you something new if you let it. The important thing is to stare your 'failures' in the face so you can fully recognize what you need to change going forward.

Other than that we watched a video on Marefair which was just disgusting. It looked like an awful time surrounded by awful people. And yet I could probably make a lot of money if I vended there. Not that I would ever.

In bed we did puzzles and read a couple Monster High chapters. The book is getting real juicy right now. We also learned about a 1994 adaptation of Black Beauty I put on our list of movies. In KH2 I completed the second part of the Pride Lands.

[kcalsforhim]

monday 4 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

calories : 706 steps : 11.4 k

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

omad : bowl with white rice and canned tuna, mixed together with mayonaise. 3 edamame spring roll thingies. 3 macaroons, flavors being : blood orange, apricot and pistachio. a bowl of cucumbers.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

the day went quite well. i was meant to go to college today but i woke up at fucking 12 pm and at that point literally by the time im at college i have an hour left before i need to leave. after i rolled out of bed about an hour after i woke up i went on the tread mil for another hour on speed 5 to get all of my steps in since i knew that i would get lazy otherwise. my friend texted me saying he had something for me and i thought well i can go outside.

so i wore the most uncomfortable tight outfit out to punish myself for not being to 50kg yet because honestly what am i doing with my life at this point.

then for dinner i had tuna and rice which is so haku. part of my goal is eating above 600,,, he himself eats like, what, 1200 calories max ?? no way am i gonna do that so we compromised on above 600 since thats not too terrifying for me LOL. the tuna and rice was soooo good and ive been craving macaroons since the start of last month im sick... they were SO GOOD and i had 3 ! one of each flavour that was in the little packet. i finished the edamame sticks we had today also.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

these are 3 pictures that i took with my leggings on. i love these when i have a big sweater to cover my stomach and crotch but this time i did not so i felt really fat and pudgy. especially since i wear thermal under my clothes, making me look fatter than i am.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

here is my side profile. i like how my ribs look but do you see how my stomach pudges out ??? its awful LOL

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

then these are the last photo's... i did like a mini photoshoot i couldnt shove them all in one picture dump so here we go. thighgap progress with feet together as always.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

this song cause its kind of nice and soothing but also kinda creepy. i didnt really FEEL like this song today thank god, but its nice and i havent shared it yet i think

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

[sennaverstappendiary]

bahrain grand prix ✩ 02.03.2024

here we are. the 2024 season is officially starting‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥 and so is my first ever full f1 season 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 i mean tbf i did follow f1 already at the first 2 races in 23 but still!!! i didn't watch them!!! and now i will!!! oh my god!!!

so, my goal for this year is to be less stressed, bc honestly, it was really getting to me 💔💔💔 and i don't want to rely on a dutch guy winning in a sport for all of my happiness... i would like to enjoy the sport more, even if max doesn't win (which... will happen eventually. i am writing this before the race idek if he wins this one!! he might not!!) ‼️‼️‼️🥰🥰🥰 so: enjoy the SPORT more, which is important i think 💘💘💘✨✨🌷🌷🌷 we will see how it goes!! but this was a very important life lesson for me: i will still love max, even if he loses. him losing doesn't make me love him any less 🥺🥺🥺🥺

free practice. as usual i didn't WATCH, but i did keep up with it of course. its always scary when max doesnt do well, but its just practice and its fun seeing who does well surprisingly!! the merc all of the sudden look super strong, which was a real surprise‼️‼️‼️‼️ also daniel p1 in fp1 yeah okay sure 😭😭😭 who gaf. but it did make me realise the above, so thats good!!

qualifying. oh my god qualifying the season is REALLY starting again oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i was watching at my grandparents again!!! friday quali is crazy!!! i cannot lie. my ass was sure max wasnt gonna get pole 💀💀💀💀 so it was a real surprise that he did!!! to be fair even he sounded surprised AHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭😁😁😁 "ha ha sorry gp!!" 😭😭😭😭 the silly!!! f1 is so back!!! charles q2 lap was really good too, thank you oscar for the tow bc 💀💀💀💀 they were also soooo silly after the quali!!! lestappen yapping how i have missed u!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

RACE DAAAYYYY!!!‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏 first one of the season, oh my god. i literally woke up with my body feeling like it was being chased down by a fucking lion like. it was so serious 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️ BUT!! the sun was shining for like. the first time ever in the netherlands, and life was good, and my dad convinced me to play some f1 23 with him beforehand which was a lot of fun :-) ALSO!!! f1 fantasy is soooo fun omg 🥰🥰🥰✨😁😁😁💘💘💘🥰🥰🥰 this will be relevant in a second. so. its 3:45 pm. i feel like im literally dying. my dads sitting next to me. FUCKING ALAIN PROST JUMPSCARE 💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️ but ok. formation lap. i literally cant speak im that fucking scared. my mouth is dry. i see the lights. i literally cant move. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅 ok. light 1. light 2. light 3. light 4. light 5. i feel like im dying. MAX HAS A GOOD START OH MY FUCKING GOD 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏 my dad mad as fuck bc he has nico in his fantasy team 💀💀💀 he puts a hand on my shoulder and is like "are u shaking" and i look at him like. yea. i always am during the first few laps 😭😭😭😭 anyway lewis making no impression + charles disasterclass like yea it was bad for us. checo actually kinda got that dawg in him rn 👀👀👀 and so does carlos!!! ik im a lestappie but i can also be a carlos enjoyer. fun fact. i am. I LOVE VERSAINZ 💕💕💕💌💌💌 ok tangent. YEAH THE RACE WAS COOL I TURNED TO MY DAD AND SAID "i hope hes going for the grand slam 😁😁😁😁😁" ooohhh maaaaxxxx maxy maaax max max max max 🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love him so much im fully losing my mind. HE LOOKED SOOO FUCKING GOOD ON THE PODIUM TOO IM BITING HIM RN. KITCHEN. BAREFOOT. PREGNANT. NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ yeah no i rlly did enjoy this race SO much im so so glad f1 is back 🥺🥺🥺🥺 a shame about fernando being a lil flop in that flop car BUT this was the first opening race without any dnfs!!! how fucking cool is that!!! i think its cool!!! 💕💕💕😁😁😁✨✨✨ SEE YALL NEXT WEEK AT JEDDAHHHH 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

✩ song of the race: the weekend - michael gray

I CANNOT WAAAIT FOR THE WEEKEND TO BEGIN DURING RACE WEEK LIKE IM LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ON LOOOPPP💥✨✨💕💕😁😁

✩ photodump:

[gorewh0re90x-blog]

diary entries...

TW: substances, ed, TMI situations

1/7/2024

6pm

im so tired. i havent been this tired since i quit doing dope 7 months ago. i still miss her almost everyday. my one true love. she was with me through everything the last 12 years. our relationship was toxic as hell but she will always be the one who got away. even if (when) i relapse and run back to her it will always end. it might end in death or just another rehab but it will always end. thats the thing with her, no matter how many times i run back i always have to leave, even if its for a little bit. theres no way around it. i start doing good in life and i run back to her warm and beautiful arms. the beginning is always the best, the honeymoon phase, but it doesnt last longer than 6 months. she always asks for more and more. more time, more money, more attention, more destruction. we lay in bed all day and all night as she whispers sweetly in my ear 'you dont need any of this..not this job, not this money, not your friends, not your family, not the outside world..you only need me..' and i always agree because its true, i only need her to be ok with being alive. no matter how many times we go through the same notions, i always listen to her..how can i not? when im with her nothing else matters, nothing means a thing. she makes me feel so safe, so warm, so invincible, so beautiful, so amazing.. its only her, always and forever.. until she takes everything away from me, as she always does, and drags me to rock bottom where the only choice i have left, is to leave her again..

9pm

idk whats wrong with me the last few days. im so tired and feeling like crap. it cant be not enough sleep because im sleeping. it cant be not enough food because im eating. im tired, my stomach hurts, im cold until I get in bed and under the covers and then im hot. my head hurts. my body aches, although that could be just me trying to work out too much. it feels like im constipated but im still going a little everyday. consistency of soft serve ice cream, which is super foreign to me. ive been constipated for the last 12 years, going once a week, if i was lucky, and when i did go it was like pushing out baseballs made out of rocks. this whole thing is just strange and exhausting. i just feel like I have the flu. i took dulcolax, my savior, an hour and a half ago and im hoping it clears out everything i ate the last 4 days and not just little swirls of crap that take 10mins of wiping to clean up. gross, i know. i just want to sleep but i don't want to wake up at midnight and be wide awake til i get back from the clinic at 6:30am. maybe ill be able to sleep for the next 6 hours and then just work out some until its time to head to the clinic at 5:30. i took an hour nap earlier around 5pm and had a weird dream.. it had to do with 2 guys breaking in and trying to shoot us unsuccessfully and ended up with me stabbing one and the other getting shot. hopefully its not some premission.. im gonna try to nap.

1/8/2024

12:05am

i decided to let myself get an oreo mcflurry every sunday since ive been doing so well with my diet and exercise. i figured that since i burn more than the 510cal thats in the dam thing every day anyway, i can be a fat fucking pig and have one. theyre just so dam good 😩 cutting out all sugar has been a nightmare over the last month. ive spent the whole time i was an h addict living on sugar so its been rough. it will be totally worth it though. i should reach my current goal weight of 100lbs in the next 10 months or less as long as i keep doing what ive been doing. i cant wait to be thin and beautiful. i dont need drugs as long as im thin 🖤

1/9/2024

1am

i ate that slice of cheese pizza i said i wouldnt touch..378cals. 378!! im such a fat pig. disgusting. it doesnt matter that i burned twice as much in calories today. the only thing that matters is that i didn't have enough self control to not eat that dam slice of pizza. i hate that my husband eats the foods i cant have every freaking day. i know me needing to lose weight is not his problem but it still sucks to be put in these situations everyday. if its not pizza its cookies and sweets and danishes and everything else I cant eat. fuck this sucks so bad! starting tomorrow i need to burn more than 700-900cals each day. i need to walk more than 10-13k steps. i need to eat less than 1400cal each day. idc if im technically still losing weight. its not enough. i need to do better and damnit i will do better.

11pm

i ate less but didnt get to work out as much as i wanted to. i guess tomorrow will be better. it better be at least. i need to get to sleep before 3am tonight so i dont sleep til 5pm tomorrow.. i have to be up at 530am to go to the clinic 5 times a week and by 11am im so exhausted i need a freaking nap or im falling over on my feet. i think they need to lower the dose on my medicine. this is getting super annoying. i just wanna be thin already. fml.

1/11/2024

12:36am

today was good. i walked over 13k steps, worked out for an hour, burned about 1000cals and only ate about 800cals. definitely getting a hang of this. didnt have a headache either. got a decent amount of sleep too. im definitely gonna ask my clinic to lower the dose on my medication because im sure thats why im tired all the time. im super sore from the gym the other day but tomorrow i have to go either way. hopefully it wont be too crowded because i get really bad anxiety and paranoia around strangers. i hate going outside. goodnight my lovelies, i hope youre all staying on track and getting closer to your ugw 🖤🚬🦋

1/13/2024

5:16am

i had a good day yesterday but not a great night. i burned around 1200cals and had a 90min work out plus 15k steps. less food as well. ordered some stuff off amazon ive been wanting since beginning of december so i was super happy until my husband decided to drink and be..not great. he hasnt been drinking since we moved states 7 months ago except 1 or 2 previous occasions because he gets wasted and acts a fool. he was doing good until he wasnt. it just wasnt a good experience but hes finally asleep. im exhausted from not getting more than 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having to deep clean the whole house and do my workout and now being up all night. i want to go to sleep but i have a few things to worry about due to his drinking so its not looking so good right now.. i fed the stray cats i take care of just now and im gonna lay down and listen to some creepypastas and hope for sleep to come. hope everyone is doing well 🖤🚬🦋

[snailartz]

Quitting my job (I don't even have one) to become an artist

Whats the plan?

Well, UGC content is my main focus and probably will be my main income; Youtube mostly, I already have a little over 100 subscribers, so my plan is to get monetised by mid 2024 (so June). Youtube is preobably gonna be gonna be my main most profitable thing. So I am going to put my main focus into understanding the youtube algorithm. I am taking a break from youtube for now but once I get my phone back (My parents have it) I will probably focus on tiktok right now, I know they have a pretty sexy monetisation program so I'm gonna hook myself up to that.

STAGE ONE - this is the only one im writing about at the moment. Uhh I will probably write about the other stages later.

This is very much a stage where I just need to be patient. Look I am here right now in this stage. The main parts of this stage.

Networking

Client hunting :)

+ Client connections

Establishing a consistent posting schedule and small audience (800 on everything would be mwah just great)

So much planning :( (almost too much I don't like to plan)

Okokok thats so complex how do we break this down.

NETWORKING -------------------------------------------

I actually just made a discord server so thats pretty cool. I am actually reminded by writing this section that I need to make free samples with my info to give to people so that I can kind of get my name out there. I'm going to design a bunch of business cards and freebies and stuff when I get back to school, so that I can give them out and leave them in places. I could totally be very annoying and make an email list for clients, that would be cool.

CLIENT HUNTING ----------------------------------------

Uhh. Listen. I have no idea how to do this. I am a teenager with no marketing experience. how the hell. I would actually love if someone could help me with this.

CLIENT CONNECTIONS----------------------------------------

same as above

POSTING SCHEDULE+ADUIENCE GROWTH --------------------------

Getting to 800 on Tumblr is gonna be a walk in the park. Doing walk throughs of my process and stuff seems to work well. I already have three (I would like to give those three people a smooch on the forehead mwah) followers right now. Im gonna have weekly goals monthly goals daily goals etc. That will help with motivation. ALSO I have milestone specials {look forward to those}. For example I am posting daily tutorials until 40 (im not doing that but imagine).

Anyway, thats probably the easiest one. I'm focused on this one becuase my parents won't let me on my phone, so I have no access to any other social media.

Youtube ???-----

I can't even with youtube. I am beefing with the YouTube algorithm right now.

Anyway,

Next post will be more in-depth networking planning probably :)

[asklotarasarrin]

//Man thats a lot! With everything going on, its perfectly normal to be totally overwhelmed! Nursing school is a lot even when the world isn’t trying to end and family is struggling. Many hugs for you! You’re a champ for getting as far as you have!

Thoughts below the cut, I’m kinda chatty and it got a little long lol sorry

Deciding between pausing and continuing up north, and sticking it out until you complete your training is a tough call. Here in the EMS world, the number one rule, before all else, is you must look out for yourself. (Second is your partner, third is your patient! Everyone else clocks in after that!) You’re no good to your patients if you make yourself a patient by overstraining or hurting yourself! 

That being said, take a few minutes to step back, maybe consult with an advisor(I imagine your education program has a director or advisor of some sort?) as to how to make this work for you. 

Is there a way to adjust your schedule so you have more time between classes? Is there possibly a place you could couch surf or bunk more locally on back to back nights to your hospital(maybe friends in the program, or a cheap bed rental if you could afford student housing? Long shot but maybe if you’ve bonded with one of your fellow nurses/staff, crash with them if you’re comfortable?) Could you maybe just take fewer hours(downside being of course being in London longer/still graduating later)?

On the flip side, if you choose to pause, work, then move up north and finish the program, talk to your advisor to make sure you can do that, what the requirements would be(out here its not always 1:1 in transferring between schools and programs; I dont know how nursing works out there), what hospitals in your desired area would host you, etc. Taking a break to do that is potentially a knowledge loss period(unless you’re on top of studying/keeping your knowledge and skills fresh- I had over a year between my EMT cert and when I finally got everything sorted with the state and I lost a fair bit because I was dumb and didnt keep it).

At the end of the day you need to do whats best for you- so many hours that you’re not getting the chance to sleep, much less properly decompress from a high pressure job/education isn’t sustainable for more than a season, much less sustainable for 2 years. If you can’t relieve the pressure and remain where you are, then moving to where you’re not gonna have such a harsh commute and in an area you actually like is the right decision. It doesn’t matter if your graduation date is 2022 or 2024 or 2050, you get to the finish line when you get there. There’s no rush. Nursing isn’t going anywhere. They’re always going to need you and want you. Your mom will still be blisteringly proud of you when you finish, no matter when that is. And her enthusiasm for how far you’ve come isn’t wrong or going to go away! Even if she’s disappointed with you taking a bit of a detour on your path, I’m absolutely sure ultimately she’ll be proud of you for doing what you have to to keep from burning out, while still pursuing a wonderful goal. :) You’re gonna get there eventually.

I am going through a CRISIS. I NEED ADVICEEEE. I know that nursing is my passion. It's what I wanna do in life without a shadow of a doubt. But I'm at the beginning of my 2nd year and I'm absolutely drained. Plus I have so much going on at home. So much.

I love my uni but it's so far to travel to. I like my hospital placement but again it's so far to travel to. It is basically impossible for me to get 8 hours of sleep when I work back to back days. Plus I kinda hate London rn and despo wanna move back up north (okay you can judge me for that one). I think I wanna work, save up, move back up north and then start studying nursing (or maybe midwifery) in a uni up there.

My mam loves me but she's also brown and she's been bragging to everyone about how well I'm doing. I don't want to let her down but I just want to RUN AWAY!!

Ughhh a con being instead of graduating in 2022, if I postpone I'll graduate in 2024.