#thats definitely what i meant to say
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the face of a man when his fiancee—a GORGEOUS PRINCESS whom he claims to be in love with—stands right in front of him, naked and trying to get him to have sex with her:
VS
the face of a man looking at his "enemy" whom he wants to kill and who constantly beats him in fights:
but i don't blame him, because just look at the "enemy" in question:
that's an angel. a beautiful, murderous angel sweetiepie pookie bear babygirl covered in dirt and the blood of her enemies 🥰🥰🥰
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#taizu#blue eye samurai#man...thinking about the way taigen looks at mizu has me SICK#there might as well literally be stars in his eyes in some of those screencaps#taigen my guy you are GONE#like he wants to be inside her soooo bad#wait what who said that#i mean he wants to be BESIDE her so bad#thats definitely what i meant to say#anyway#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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bisexuality comes for all minecraft youtubers
[read my tags before getting pissy with me]
#bell.txt#1. this is everyone menace and i could think of quickly on the left but still definitely not all bi mcyts#2. idc about your opinions on what does and does not count as coming out#if someone says theyre bi as a joke i take it gennuinely bc straight people do not joke about being bi thats not a thing#3. this is meant to be funny im not truthing im basing this off things these people have actually said#dont be an invasive weirdo but dont assume people are straight by default either#4. i meant to put finn on here and then ran out of space so just know hes there spiritually
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Ngl as a small business owner who puts out something extremely pirate-able and who has never earned enough to make a pay check, this...
...is extremely upsetting.
Do y'all realize that most small business are maybe a handful of people? Do y'all realize that company's like LLCs exist to protect owners from legal and financial repercussions if the company falls apart? I'm not a company because I have stockholders, I'm a company so that if the business goes bankrupt the banks can't seize my fucking house. It's not evil to use existing legal structures to protect my family's assets. It's not unreasonable to ask people not to steal from businesses like mine.
It's like on Tumblr when it's One Artist or One Author Doing The Thing Themself you guys are all about it but the minute anyone tries to collectivize to do better we go from One Person Against The World to The Embodiment of Capitistic Evil with no in between, which is especially insane coming from the website that claims to think individualism has turned toxic and we should do more with community organization. The minute lots of people are involved in a business, there HAS to be legal structures like contracts and shit to protect the people involved. The Lone Creator Forging a Path is great for that one person. What about everyone else?
And so... some of us try to make a company to lift up a group.
And then I see shit takes like this.
Maybe. Maybe DONT fucking pirate from literally anyone just cause they've got the word "company" I'm the name?
Maybe remember that for small businesses, yes even when they're a company, there's a single person, or a family, or a group of friends, who are working their asses off to build something, and actually? Stealing from them makes you a FUCKING DICK.
Like. You realize we're just people right? Other regular people trying to survive the dystopian hellscape that is the now?
Maybe stop acting like you're automatically entitled to the labor and creations of others solely because you've decided that there is an entire huge category of people it's okay to steal from.
Like honestly. What the fuck.
#unforth rambles#i get that a general post isnt about me specifically#but yall realize that in the same way that saying certain things about appearance causes splash damage to everyone who shares that appearan#saying shit like this does splash damage to people like me#well i didnt MEAN a small place like yours i meant disney#well thats not at all what op said and i am definitely included in what op said#i know how hard i work and the people like me work#and i guarantee that even if some people reblogging this mean big places plenty dont and they feel validated by this#idk if our stuff has been pirated i refuse to check#but i intentionally dont use drm because fuck thwt noise so its certainly possible#and considering i work 50 hours plus a week and have never gotten paid while trying to build this into something sustainable#i think maybe you can appreciate why this shit pisses me off so bad#i am the splash damage on your piracy is cool oh but i didnt mean from you hun kinds of posts#if there are truly times you dont think piracy is okay maybe stop reblogging posts that say its always okay#also apologies to the mutuals who reblogged rhe above#i know you dont mean me but tbh that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt
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so from that kuukou sasara chapter from dod, kuukou’s ascetic training regimen goes something like
early morning waterfall training for an hour
meditation sessions
cardio via running thru forest terrain
walking thru fire and coal
midnight waterfall training
sleep for three hours and then rinse and repeat
no meals
all this for a week straight
and part of kuukou’s first bio was how he bested his father in presumably this regimen so i wonder where shakku taps out lol 🤔
#this is vee speaking#happy father’s day btw shakku lmao#i remember reading an article about the trials the buddha went thru to attain enlightenment#and he said it was too harsh to live by so he wouldn’t recommend it i wonder where i read that lol#i really should be bookmarking this stuff lol#but anyway if we’re to assume that this is where kuukou bested his papa then i would say he couldn’t last the full week#which is kinda……….. crazy to me tbh lmao that the monster dad shakku lost at anything related to physicality lmao#is it mental????? like was shakku’s mind just unable to keep up???? that’s kinda insane to me too tho lol#like you never know what your failings are until you’re under that much duress#so fr we don’t know what shakku is like when placed under that much stress#but it’s definitely something that makes me even more curious about shakku’s past and what shaped him lol#like what if arb RLY meant it that shakku was a punk head in his past and did aaallllllll the shit like drinking and smoking#and THATS why shakku can’t hang he abused his body too much in his youth and just can’t complete that regimen bc of it#ah harai family mysteries lol fr happy father’s day shakku 💜💜💜
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mildly annoyed today and turning evil about it
#it's not about this but i did just see that damn ursula le guin quote Again and it is starting to get to me#like yeah i get it i fucking get it but also shut uppp#i am not 'refusing to admit' that bad things are bad i am 1. telling lies. bc that's what fiction is for#2. seeking catharsis. bc that's what fiction is for#3. trying to confront u with the uncomfortable truth that people who have done bad things are people#'bad' people deserve human rights. hashtag grimdark hashtag no fun hashtag kicking puppies#also it's an out of context quote From A Work Of Fiction so idfk what le guin actually thought or meant#but ppl keep sharing it in a hashtag inspirational hashtag hopepunk way and it's sooo annoying#also like the fact that ppl who say these things so often talk about *evil* like it's a state of being#like EVIL PEOPLE (kind of person that definitely exists) aren't ever interesting or complex and Shouldn't be the focus of your art#(bc examining them must mean excusing or endorsing them somehow or at very least distracting from more Virtuous Matters)#hmm. yeah you're why i'm writing this#'cool motive still murder' thats it youre going in the labyrinth -> -> ->#like yes. it is ofc possible to get too deep into What A Fascinating Twisted Mind etc etc#but also. rargrgrgrgrgrgghrghhhh
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FUCK HOLY SHIT. (good omens season 2 spoilers)
the kiss wasnt to show that they loved each other. they knew that. they were practically married at that point, and had been for a while. the kiss was the show aziraphale what he'd be leaving behind. it was to show azirphale that crowley wasnt coming to his rescue. crowley wasnt going with him. it was goodbye. it was all the things they never got to do, and that they'd never get to do. all the unspoken "i love you"s and the promises and the agreement. it was one last desperate attempt to get aziraphale to not leave, to get aziraphale to stay with crowley in their carefully carved out existence. to tempt aziraphale into declining. and it didn't work.
the tempation didn't work, therefore "i forgive you."
#definite's ted talks#go2 spoilers#good omens spoilers#good omens 2#good omens s2#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#this was. probably obvious but. i am socially inept#look neil gaiman answered an ask and it just clicked in my head#sobbing about this#i will never be normal#if this is worded weirdly its because i am sooooooooooooooooo not normal about this show#and expressing my actual not-watered-down emotions is physically impossible#plus i dont really feel. confident in saying things like this?#like i wasnt there for season one. what gives me the right to scream my interpretation about season two#thats not meant in a venty way i swear#i almost didnt post this#good omens
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WSBH chara q’s: (you don’t have to answer all the numbers, just whatever you want to 𖢘)
16/35/51 for Scotch
1/6/55 for Atlas
I LOVE YOU
16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?
okay i truly think scotch argues with seraph in his head all the time. ALL the time. scotch largely ignores them, and vice versa, because he dislikes them and they know it. seraph is very conflict avoidant lol, and as long as hes not a "threat" they dont care to talk to him about their problems. he probably argues with atlas and jacob (his older brother) too, atlas about more stupid small stuff, and jacob about childhood and life stuff :p
im trying to think of more general groups he would argue with but i cant come up with anything BAHAH. hes not exactly conflict avoidant in the annoying libra way that seraph is, he more just ignores conflict for his friends’ (mostly atlas’) sake. idk if that makes sense LOL
35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?
hmmm.. smallest? i mean scotch strings eloise along for most of the time pre timeskip. its not a main focus but its definitely important in order to understand scotch as a whole. she and scotch go out for a while, and mid way through that he realizes hes GAY gay. lol. and obviously lying to her about that is pretty questionable after a while. especially since he and atlas have been 👉👌 like the whole time. but she kind of knows. well
something a little bigger would be him encouraging or otherwise turning a blind eye to all the weird stuff atlas is up to. he doesn't know what it's like to be a werewolf, he can't say anything, right? lol.... murder is okay if its a talking dog doing it. scotch enabler supreme. actually when seraph is introduced, he and atlas have a 'joke' (kind of starts being real) about luring seraph somewhere to kill them. obviously doesnt happen and gets abandoned. but i think its important to know about their dynamic LOL
51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?
this guy is kind of goofy. i cant think of phrases rn but he has a specific way of speaking.. you could watch pretty much any old pop punk band interview and kind of get the idea. HAHAH
1. What’s the lie your character says most often?
atlas is a big fan of saying 'its fine' for all situations ever. family in mortal danger? its fine. completely splitting? its fine. arthritis excruciating? its fine. hes one of those people that dont like to deal with the fawning of others unless hes feeling real special. Ends up putting people in more danger a lot of the time. i think eloise is the only fan of communication in this friend group to be honest. i should have made her the main character
he tends to make promises he cant keep as well, but thats more general..
6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?
i have NO idea. i feel like atlas would be a music snob, so maybe his favorite 'super underground' bands. otherwise he'd probably never recommend raw human meat to another human (no matter how much scotch asks -__-).. (he would chicken out anyway)
55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?
um. so atlas hates working out. he especially hates running, you know, the thing that wolves are known for doing a lot of? unfortunately the lycanthropy came with a side effect of pretty bad arthritis, so that doesnt exactly encourage him. he DOES exercise, a lot since hes pretty much required for his ermm "side job", but he hates it 😸 besides the arthritis it’s mostly because I think it’s silly that he hates it. yay
#ummm a lot of what i talk about with my ocs are the character relationships but thats why i write. i like gossip. its fun. LMFAO#im actually having trouble deciding whether i want atlas to be a killer or not. like regularly killing i mean. hes definitely killed SOMEON#im really inspired by ginger snaps and scream. i dont even like scream that much but it reminds me of how they are. lol#scotch and atlas are pretty different but theres two things i see as themes. they both hate communication (and that causes conflict; so mor#avoiding). and the fact that scotch lives vicariously through atlas. atlas is doing#what scotch thinks is interesting. for pretty much the entire time; scotch likes to beg atlas to turn him. i think scotch sees the lack of#control he has over his life and sees lycanthropy as power. arguably thats why scotch is so attracted to atlas. lol#idk. thats not canon. im just thinking out loud here.#and yk it is power but not freedom. atlas would much rather just be a regular wolf. hunting and shit. but hes got these damn people here lo#but he sees what his life is like being a lycanthrope and hes kinda like. no. im not bringing that onto you. you dont know what youre askin#YOU KNOW? its goofy. i know. but its fun. LOL#if you (a general audience you but it can be you too grins) want to talk about scotch's confusion about his attraction to eloise we'd be#here all day. i think scotch is an egg. i dont know. i truly think theres some vicarious living (again) through her femininity.#and el is trans so he doesnt see her femininity as unattainable to him. you know? i hope that makes sense lol and im kind of projecting on#to him wif dat. to be honest. but obviously in the other direction. BWAHAH#asks#eucyon#thank u for da ask jesse this is so fun ^__^ and exciting that someone remembers their names HAH#after all this talking in the tags what I meant to say is that scotch and atlas both have sick intentions. it’s just that scotch doesn’t#act on them. and atlas does. so. living vicariously. ok
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as someone who can actually physically taste peoples art because my brains silly like that, i can confirm that your art tastes delicious
--🍷🧡
Synesthesia, god bless!!
Thank you,,, though I am curious what exactly it tastes like...
#asks#voidthoughts#y know I have been calling you wine anon#but the wine and orange just made me go “carmilla??”#so maybe thats what you meant and maybe im a little silly#I say this bc Ik people associate her with orange in the album and ykno vampires and wine...#no Im definitely over thinking this but I'm keeping the notes it is kind of funny
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HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT THAT CRITROLE EP WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! im SO glad we had the set up of the last one so we could have the big thrills of this!!!!!!!!! this had everything!! it had ira's bad (and good!) decisions! it had sam's out of pocket wacky can shenanigans!! it had deception and sneaking! it had badass plays and some.. eye-catching talents 👀 it had gross shit that's kinda actually sad if u think about it! it had walking (running) away from explosions (NOT a sunglasses moment this was a loserfail) it had .. terrifying parents. it had imodna momence !! :D it even had some unprecedented wins for our typically fighty/flighty adventurers!!! i will ABSOLUTELY be watching that again come monday!!!!!!!!!!
#lynx speaks#cr spoilers#now to expand upon these!!! i am THRILLED that there has been a more overt notice of orym's hex 😏#thats what i've been excited for for aaaaaaages i adore orym esp when he gets a little more fucked up#what can i say im a bit of an angst fan myself :D#fcg gave ira SUCH a bad time tho like CMON BBYYYYY 1 MINUTE ?!?!?!?!?!! yall r LUCKY yalls r cool af#also tho.... ira actually saving fearne like 👀 i see it!!! i think simply everyone likes fearne and everyone would save her 😎#and team infiltrate i loooved imogen's use of that damn .. what was it called ? the damn static bomb that was sick as hell!!!#and hey!! both teams got in and out without anyone catching on that it was bells hells helping!#is that a first for bh? cause it sure feels like it TBH like the feywild malleus key stunt did NAWT go this smoothly#even with the bumps they had they did terrific frfr#esp with imogen setting up oryms badass fighter play and launda and chet setting each other up for success#and it does FEEL like imogen is more powerful on ruidus just from the plays she makes like the static spell and how it set Everyone up#to protect them all and keep their enemies in bad positions so that bh had good positions#they barely got hits and orym and chet took the brunt of it#they got out everoa and themselves without too much hassle and i'd say team mcfuckin 'splosion did pretty fucken well too#more damage on their side but. thatssss not their fault thats mainly on ira (and fcg 😂)#gosh. goshhh. what a good fucking episode. and sorrowlord zathuda. and liliana. fuck bro.#zathuda is SCARY#and liliana i meaaaaaaan. hun what did u THINK 🧐 imogen meant when she told u to run?? 🤔 'did she know' u know the answer to that.#i was definitely excited cause. we knew the volition were gonna fail in killing liliana. but i felt in my heart that she was gonna#feel betrayed by imogen. despite creating the scenario in which imogen must 'betray' her.#i LOVE fucked up mothers cant waaaaait to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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been watching moonkitti vids and im like. i do appreciate her presence in the fandom if only bc she actually provides passages behind her own opinions and takes on the series, plus her being more nuanced than others, but on the other hand i feel like she gives the writers a bit too much credit
#like with her spottedleaf vid. i get it i get what shes getting at. and in a better world she’d have a point#but in what i covered in my tpb reread and what lex has told me. yeah ur definitely meant to see their contact as being romantic#and in a nice world him having an unreciprocated crush would be kinda neat but lbr the girls have zero agency. spotted has no agency#spottedleafs feelings dont matter. the narrative does not care about that. shes a lost lenore plot device#and thats depressing to say but its very likely that youre intended to see her feelings as romantic#if there was she’d probably have actually said something. like him getting w sandstorm was the perfect time to go#‘’oh your crush is just kinda silly you are a baby to me’’#and even if it is a retcon that doesnt excuse the pairing being creepy as hell#echoed voice#similarly she said ‘’crowfeathers trial canonized him being a bad dad even tho he wasnt in power of three’’ girl what#he. hit him…. breeze is outright said to be hated and outcast in windclan…… the protags say their relationship is bad#basically like. shes fine but i dont like how the fandom takes her word as gospel
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before i pass out for the night. since my brain is back on dan and phil as if its 2016 or something i need to put this out into the world. this isnt some sort of important life changing post, just a personal funny thing
so when i was 13 and fixating on dan and phil, i read a lot of fanfics. like, i guarantee that even after all these years that, if i had the statistics, that fandom was the one i read the most fanfics for and constantly. i couldnt tell you what nearly any of them were about, and i have a feeling that many of them are probably lost to time by now. i also dont know if i need to mention that yeah, a lot of them were shipping, and yes ive long grown out of that. (the dnp fandom is actually what made me grow out of that)
anyway all this to say that over the last 6 years after i stopped fixating on dan and phil, one fanfic stuck with me and i just. i think about it every once in a while. its been over half a decade. it wasnt a groundbreaking fic, i dont remember any quotes or specifics, just the premise as of at least the first few chapters. idk why it stuck with me
it was literally a fic about. if the world had gotten to a point where almost every child was born as like, a science baby instead of a natural baby, and phil was a science baby, but dan was a natural baby. and there was somehow this like, thing where the science babies would bully the natural babies for some reason idek, and this was a highschool setting and i think dan was a new kid in school. and what gets me about the fic is that dan was some small shy scared kid and phil was some mean jerk bully. and how wild that is compared to how they are in real life
this isnt me trying to find the fic or the person who wrote it or any of that, this is literally just. i remember this fic at least once every few months and i needed to get it out of my brain somewhere
#there are few fics that i remember several years after i read them the first time. this is one of them#depressingly. some of the fics that are on that list are most definitely gone by now#there was one in the vt fandom i still think about 6 years later that i loved. but the person who wrote it hated it :[#the others that are on that list off the top of my head are the hlvrai mermaid fic and the hlvrai alien weed fic#my brain latches onto the most random fics to remember forever lol#my post#dan and phil#<- tagging for blog purposes. not because i want people to see this#if you see this post. good for you i guess ajfjshd#bur seriously if you know the fic/author of what im talking about. i mean itd be neat to find it again. but dont bother them yknow#its also wild how thats like. such a dystopian novel premise. not in a bad way just a neutral way#i love the premises that people come up with for fanfiction. like. ANYTHING can be a fanfic premise and i find that so magical#i had a fanfic premise that was originally meant to be a dnp fanfic that ive long since changed to be an original thing lol#and its... a weird premise lol. at least i think so#anyway since this is the bottom of the tags and no ones going to read this. i gotta say i have so many thoughts on dnp fanfic culture#and my personal relationship with it which i think. my personal relationship with it was heavily influenced by me being like.#transmasc + mlm but not knowing either yet and how wild that is to look back on#its why i love that one meme pic thats like. 'straight girls who fetishize mlm look like this in 5 years' and it shows a pic of jessie#jessie from breaking bad sorry the tag length ran out#but anyway im not gonna make full posts about that. just wanted to mention it somewhere lol
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ok so kyu n junghwan were two of my guesses for t5 so lets see if i can get the other 3 right as well. im thinking ruto jihoon n hmmmmm dobby!
#u see yoshi is a backup guess bc they might want 2 rappers in the unit but idt he'd vote for himself as the most handsome member so#also! they might save him for the (hopefully 🤞🏼) next 5-member unit w hyunsuk#also dont think suk sahi or jeongwoo would vote for themselves so im already discarding them#jihoon DEF would n they might wanna split the leaders. ruto may or may not have voted for himself i just think he's more likely to than#yoshi also he's definitely one of the most (if not THE most) popular members so i feel like placing him in their 1st unit is a good choice#now that leaves jaehyukie n dobby for the last spot. im gonna go w dob bc even tho i think jae's also one of the most popular members#(source: the voices) n they both can eat any choreo up n have similar vocal abilities. i just think dobby fits the flower boy concept much#more. jae has more of like a classic masculine type of beauty if that makes sense. im just saying shit atp tbh this could go either way#but i gotta pick one lmao#mari.txt#ALSO! i said jwoo wouldnt vote for himself but he definitely would like. as a joke. also if it meant being in a new unit. so hes a lil bit#of a wildcard i think. we'll see how it goes#jihoon's still my main pick from original main vocal line since yedams gone n hes so full of himself its SICKENING#lmk what yall think ive been theorizing abt this since i found out abt t5 omg#also tbh i think sahi totally fits the 'prettiest flower boys' concept i just dont think hed volunteer himself#n thats my basis for the guessing lol#also also going off this if there rly is another unit coming that would mean suk yoshi jae sahi jwoo unit. id eat that shit up
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batgirl brainrot
#bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrr#i wanna write my hcs on her complicated relationships#with the batfam#especially Bruce#some of the new 52 panels talk about how he still sees the weapon she was meant to be and doesn't fully trust her because of it#and it hurts her more than she can ever say#hmmmmmmhhhhgggghhh#also wanna write about my cass's time-line of events since mine ends up drifting more from Bruce and has her duo with cassie#and there's that huge can of worms with shiva where mine accepts her training in her mid to late 20s#which is an unpopular choice to say the least#but boy does it actually get that number one spot for best fighter#also her growing conflict with Bruce's no killing rule especially when everybody around her who isn't a bat#will kill if they have to they're not cruel they're not evil in fact some of them are the definition of good#and cass feels guilty about not feeling bad when these terrible people die#when the reality is that she never got a choice to build her own views on anything#especially that#it was always killing is your job to never kill no matter what#realizing she's in that grey..... needless to say thats rough for her when shes been operating on purely the guilt of her first kill for so#long#Bruce runs on guilt and vengeance and justice#cass really just runs on guilt and necessity because she never got a choice to try something else#and by the time she's questioning this no kill shit she's.... long paid her debts in her head. saved so many more lives#being around shiva doesn't help either since she's so lax with killing and death#and she isn't making her kill. she's all about choice and though she'll never be the best mother#what she truly wants is to give cass the freedom to do whatever she wants which is something she's never had#she straight up told canary she doesn't care what she does with this knowledge she just wanted to pass it down#and cass would use it for good as much as she possibly can#she sees her mother heal the same way she hurts and that potential is just too good to pass up#the MORAL CONFLICT OF IT ALL!!!#ooc.
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i was gonna write a different post, but it went to places and lost the thought, so all im gonna say is that idk how i feel about the fact that literally nobody has in the past two months told me that they miss my art lol
#you saying it after i post this doesnt count btw#idk i kinda miss drawing but also the last time i tried i had a total mental breakdown about it so who cares#its fine im on a writing binge rn that makes me really happy honestly#im not gonna compare the numbers game in those two tho thats just gonna make me sad. im just saying#anyways. just a thought. i should go to bed my brain is doing funky things to me again woo#night is an absolute mess on main#like dont get me wrong. im very happy with what i create rn#just knowing that nobody talks about the visual arts is like#i knew i was doing something wrong with that. that it was not meant to be#okay yeah its definitely 1am sads hours i need to log out oof
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.
#have been an anxious lil piece of shit since my mother walked past/then in my room bc she smelled something-#this was yesterday btw .. first thing she said was 'u dont vape do u?' and i was like 'no' *queue john mulaney voice: like a liar*#ok well technically only on occasion like if i dont have w**d#anyway she steps into my room and starts fuckin sniffing around and goes 'it smells like .. weed 😐' and just looked at me and guys ..#i am the WORST but my mothers brother aka my gay uncle got kicked out when they were younger bc he smoked too and my mother has grown to#not be fond of it since . so BASICALLY i lightly gaslit her and was like 'mom. seriously ? 🙄'#bc we joke about it on occasion like she went to denver and came back with a fuckin pot that says 'a little pot from colorado' meant for#weed and in my head im like 😭 bro i could actually use this 😭#so thats how we joke but obviously for me its genuinely funny bc of the irony but anyway .#my anxiety was so high after that bc i literally had my pen on me and i just left the situation and started petting my dog and filled up my#waterbottle trying to think of what the fuck i was going to do next but that was literally the end of that#(at least for now but i dont even want to jinx it)#to be proactive tho bc newsflash i do smoke! i got smart as shit and wrapped my smell proof combo bag to make it look like a gift for my#my friends when i go back to school so she wont think anything of it#and then put my pen old battery and vape in a box hidden away so i can still access them if i need but god DAMN#i was def just being stupid tho bc i forget when im at home i cant be so lax and rip the shit out of my pen with my door closed and no fan#anymore like 😐 u dumb fuck i was smarter at 16 with this shit#anyway. its definitely on me and im just mad at myself for it and hope it doesnt come up again/that she isnt overly paranoid with me like i#am with myself rn#also just for some more background my mom and i have never been super close but im really close with my dad but i love with my mom ? so#after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer#and go from there. they just moved and its so cozy and id love to make my room mine over there for once even if it means moving in for abit#but the one thing that would absolutely break my heart is that my dog lives with my mom and its not like i couldnt still see her but i feel#like id feel guilty/like im abandoning her or something :'(#idk if anyone read this far pls lmk ur thoughts#oh and i work right by my moms so its not like i couldnt still visit her but it would break my heart#kylas thoughts#drugs /
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started rereading the pjo series the other day actually wawawa still my favorite fr it means the world to me :(( but yeah also! rewatched big hero 6 and ngl it probably really is my favorite movie for many personal reasons hehe AND THEN also watched the first part of hamilton on tv w my parents they loved it hehehe
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#okay that's all just a quick update on me and my life since i loveee to share all that#OKAY OKAY THOUGH YEAH i really love my (extended) family. i am super shy but you know what i love them sooo much#i already miss my aunt so much sniffs the whole holy week break felt like a dream tbh. i loved that she came over and etc etc#and also brought her (GAY !!) friend and then idk she's the best and so supportive and i came out to her right. first one irl. means a lot.#but yeah having experiences w her (esp her gay guy friend tho) meant a lot to me LMFAO idk it feels like those. crush feels but platonic#anyway <3 idk what else. uhm. yeah. that's basically it#oh an old friend from middle school dmned me bcs my personal instagram note was a rainbow flag and heart face so . yk#i came out to them back then and they're on the lgbtq community too so HELL YEAH sorry it's been days tho and i haven't replied back aha#you see. i am a mess. i haven't gotten to a lot of stuff especially because i for some reason have this. i need to. you see#i need to... if i am doing something i have to put in All My Effort. so i am literally reading everything my teachers give and say#and. literally everything. and i am definitely FAR far away from getting near to finished but hell yeah RAGHHH#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE CONCERT NEXT MONTH OH MY GOD IT'S IN LIKE 3/4 WEEKS NOW ONLY WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK#my dad has been listening to the 1975 tons (he said he has now listened to all their songs. idk if thats true but i think so)#idk yeah just makes me happy uh etc love family etc motivated but a mess uh etc. goodnight
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