#thats completely gone now

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap doesn't smoke.

Didn't.

Does occasionally.

Sometimes.

When he needs it.

Routinely.

Any chance he gets.

He didn't used to. Not for any morality reason or whatever. Lord knows he already lacks enough of it. Just sometimes it was easier to literally run himself to the ground then go to the shop. There was just no real reason to attach himself when he could just as easily pick his skin of his fingers raw while he got lost in his head.

Plus his mam always said "John, donnae you even start on this, you know how granda was." Granda was a 78 year old bugger who died of lung cancer, and he must've smoked a pack a day. Pretty good for a fucker killin' himself, soap reckons. 'Course he respects the hell outta the man still, and he'll never tell his mam about blond stranger he bummed from once as a teen. There was never any reason to wake a, perhaps, dormant gene.

Never any reason until there was.

It was only bumming a cig once or twice when it was offered. A rare occasion. Waiting for exfil from a salty mission with nobody but the grass and the breeze to witness. Nothing to say. Just have a smoke about it. All that happened. Everything they survived. The parts they almost didn't. But Soap doesn't smoke.

Ghost would never admit it but he gets snippy when he doesn't have his smokes. So Soap carries a pack on him just in case. Just in case Ghost loses his own. It happens sometimes. When it does he'll offer his pack to Ghost, take one for himself too. No reason not to. But it's not like he smokes. Not really.

Usually after the team gets out of debrief from a tough mission Ghost needs a smoke. It helps him unwind. Brings his mind out of survival mode. Brings the lieutenant back to the Ghost. Soap finds he often needs it just as much. Less so for the nicotine, more for the silence, sometimes for the motions. It helps remind him how to to breathe properly again. But he doesn't really smoke.

Ghost likes to have a smoke after meal times. He doesn't even invite Soap anymore, expects him to follow. Like clockwork morning, afternoon, and evening smoke. Soap switched to Ghost's brand. Every time, without fail, Ghost would forget his pack of cigs after lunch and bum one off Soap. And every time, without fail, Ghost would routinely complain about the piss quality of his cigs. But it's not like Soap smokes all the time.

Until he did.

It was Soap's own fault too. Picked a fight over some meaningless topic that he can't remember. Some things were said. Some things were unsaid. He made Ghost the villian in his story. Next thing he knew Ghost was packed up and shipping off to the other side of the country. Soap said some gnarly things. Things he wishes he couldn't take back a thousand times over again. But worse than that it's what he wishes he hadn't left unsaid out of fear. Wasn't even the three big words. Just one. One pathetic work that he couldn't utter. And Ghost would have stayed. Now his clothes smell like smoke, his room, his blanket, his kit, his sketchbook. When he wakes in the morning. Around his breakfast. In the gym working out. Cleaning his fire arms. Doing paperwork. Fixing the broken shit on base. He still smokes Ghost's cigarettes. He was right, his old ones were piss. But more importantly they smell like him. Everything smells like Ghost. Reminds him what he lost. What he chased away. Just how he wants it. Let the memories and hurt really sink in. Ghost said he'd be back. Some day. Soap will return to his cheapest quality cigs. A harsh reminder of what he lost. But for now he smells like Ghost, and he won't easily give it up.

[bunnyboy-juice]

i feel so pretty today c:

[deltarunebt]

Meeting (Befriending?) Jevil

So much for an easy first fight.

[salt-baby]

at some point in disability you stop wanting to "get better" and this is just really hard for able bodied people to understand for some reason

[mozki]

omg..guyz…fuck ma life. i cried after work today bc i dropped my ipod and it broke. hardly be able to use tumblr now cos all thats left is the half broken ipad that drives me mental…… i mean . ill figure something out soon enough im sure but its a heartbreaker. the only remnants of my music library… so many pics the last few years. and some choice nudes i hadnt sent anyone or posted FML gone forever

[rubysparx]

Scariest shit ever is when you forget stuff and people you give a shit abt get even slightly annoyed with you about it

[frostios]

The amount of stuff ive been drawing lately is crazy. My poor wrist 💔

[arolesbianism]

Y'know the fun thing abt how I've set up the society that the main stalien cast comes from is that even the most broad general trends across stalien societies tend to not apply to them. So everytime I yap about how most herds form and the general trends in their societies I just get to remember mid yapping that basically none of this will ever be evident or even come up in the main story. Damn isolated motherfuckers

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I have so many fucking thoughts about this line and how fucked up his sense of self is as a body double for another man

[haemosexuality]

so depressing seeing the difference between the "homecoming" and the "babyshower"

[robotsafari]

i know riku was pointing at sora’s heart in that one kh2 scene because wordless storytelling is a virtue (and unfortunately becomes straight up nonexistent in modern kh) and like the audience already knows, they dont need to spell it out and its also just a very riku thing to do but…..

can i say something. it’s probably not canon at all but i always found it strange how riku-ansem’s voice went back to riku after the reveal that it was riku. it feels strange, like could he always do this? switch his voices back?

the way riku stays silent most of the time feels like he doesn’t even want to hear ansem’s voice come out of him. but the pointing part with sora (and many other scenes) feels like he only speaks when he finds it necessary, which doesnt feel necessary now that his voice is back to normal, because thats what we hear, and that should be true.. unless you think of it this way:

headcanon: riku’s voice coming out of riku-ansem can only be heard by sora and kairi (and by extension, the audience) after feeling his heart’s connection. (the thing where they closed their eyes and felt his heart)

i like to think that to anyone else he still sounds like ansem, including.. to riku himself. so he does the same as before, because to him, nothing has changed. he feels that hes still not himself, even after his friends know that its him now.

[dandoris]

my friend got an amazing new job at a place i applied to a bunch of times weeeeeeee

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

[imitor]

houyi ..... i think i love all my bsd ocs on a degree that has me frightened

[rainingincale]

.

[tigerexe]

while i'm ofc sad we never got any ~canon~ saavik content past ST4, so much of the things they had planned for her wouldve been so bad... call her neo the way she dodged all of those bullets