#thats because im so big brain
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two baddies and their stink stink boyfriend solos any romcom tbh
#my art#jovier#javier escuella#abigail marston#john marston#johnigail#rdr2#rdr#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#fanart#javier x john x abigail#i couldnt think of anything dumber for john to say#thats because im so big brain#i could never think like the little puny brain marston#/j#abigail roberts
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I’m a very city girl and now I’m imagining going to the country side and meeting farmtale Sans…
You moved there for some reason and need a place to stay, Sans was kind enough to give you somewhere to stay with some chores to do to lower your rent. You’re not experienced and you’re not that good with the chores- sometimes farm animals freak you out (cows are big, theres so many chickens, what iS THAT GIANT SPIDER?!), you can’t move heavy stuff around, even the tools are heavy for you.
And… Sans thinks you’re cute. He can do the work you do much faster than you could, but he likes your company. Every time you drop a stack of hay and panic he can’t help but chuckle and throw it on top of the pile in his arms. He likes how you’re impressed by his skill with tools and the fact that he can drive tractors. You may not be good at your job, but he likes that you want to learn anyway. You like the animals when he teaches you how to read their behavior better.
He really likes it when he saves you from a giant bug and you give him “my hero” eyes…
“those darn eyes are gonna be the death of me.”
#cityfolk where you at#im scared of bugs but i like running in the mud if thats anything dsjhdff#ive always been in the city#its kinda embarrassing when a country person mentions how Bad I am at farm stuff dsjhf#brain: BUT WHAT IF HE FINDS IT CUTE#me: but what if he finds it cute…#he’s got rough phalanges#you’ve got soft ‘i havent touched dirt in 20 years’ hands#you sit down a lot because your back’s aching#from raking/moving vegetables into a truck or something#Sans: *moving whole crates into the truck on his own* what an angel she’s makin’ work so much easier for me#ofc hes big stronk skeleton… hoheheheh#aka writing
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one string is all that I need
#Hatsune Miku#VOCALOID#or rather#piapro characters#Hatsune Miku Single String Ver.#<- yep that's the fan module I made for fun last year#the thing is. only half a month to go until it's mid autumn. and every year I try to draw something for the occasion#I just. started early this year... for some reason......#well I mostly just wanna draw Her lmao. because the pokemon/miku voltage stuff is still being released and Im feelin the effect#and this year's magical miral design is so fuckign good.... thank u to miku artists. especially LAM and rella#as is always the case with this module the instrument/weapon (lol) she uses is a heavily stylized đàn b��u!#and I just realized while drawing this and looking at the ref sheets that I never detailed the pluck lmao#to be fair. usually its just like a piece of. anything#commonly bamboo or bone or plastic. shaped into a longish fingernail shape. its really the way u hold it that matters iirc#but yeah I spruced up the OG design for the instrument in this one lol. this is actually like my original vision I think#I really wanted to make that thing beast shaped. but I Just figured out how to properly stylize it when I designed the module#and! I did say this on stream but I am genuinely very proud of that design! that was genuinely big brain of me! so#future instrument variants will still probably base heavily on that general shape and principles lol. I'm playin in this space its MY muck#also I switched the number on her coat from 39 to 01 bc it's more on theme thats really it. nothin else to remark on there lol#and! once again based the dragon head on the lý dynasty dragon rather than later iterations. thats why the nose fin and no whiskers#and the metal nozzle is kinda supposed to call to mind a temple bell. not super sure i got that across well#but the rim design IS historical! I thiiiink early lê dynasty. just on ceramics instead of on bronze lmao#anyways thats it. I had fun colorin this one! kicked my ass a bit but I think I hashed it out mostly okay#have a good night lads! thank u mid autumn moon cakes for being bad to eat and sponsoring my late night drawin. and remember:#u only need one. but never say having more doesn't make it easier
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GRAAAHHH SORRY THIS IS SUDDEN BUT OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND YOU. IM THE BENREY THAT RAN UP TO YOUR BOOTH AR AMW THIS YEAR AND MY FRIEND BOUGHT ME LIKE ALMOST ALL YOUR VALVE STUFF, I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I GOT BACK TO THEIR ROOM CAUSE LIKE DUDE. THAT MEANT EVERYTHING FOR ME, I WAS GENUINELY SO SO SO HAPPY TO SEE THE FANDOM IS STILL ALIVE AND IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FANS IN THE WILD FOR YEARS. THE EXPERIENCE WAS ENLIGHTENING TO SAY THE LEAST AND IM SO SO JOYOUS ABOUT IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH !1!11! :•3
:D !!!! HI!!! I REMEMBER YOU!!! THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY, I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS MEMORABLE FOR YOU!!
people who are so enthusiastic about the things i make and the fandoms i rep at my booth are THE #1 coolest part of the experience 🥺 i feel like convention artist alleys these days are mostly filled with the same 4 popular anime/mobile games and it's really hard to find less popular anime, let alone things like video games and webseries. you would not believe how many comments I got that people never see things like Team Fortress 2 or Portal in AAs, let alone stuff like Infinity Train or HLVRAI 😭 the people who recognize them are always SO excited and then I'M excited and we are BOTH excited and nerding out together. it's fantastic!!!
the hlvrai fandom is definitely still going strong! i still see a lot of fanart and community posts and my sales on my few hlvrai things on my etsy have Not slowed down lmao. i'm sure if covid didn't happen there would have been so many benry cosplayers in 2020. we were ROBBED </3 i've seen You and one benry cosplayer at ACEN last year and that was IT </3 </3 </3
#ask#agoraphobiclemons#at anime central i had an admin for one of the radiotvsolutions folks stop by my booth. they were also very excited#to see my art prints i had of the science team!! they were also very nice :3 and a neopets fan. big W#hlvrai is one of those fandoms where you might not meet them super often but when you do they're the coolest people#anyway hearing from people who saw me at cons is so so so fun#im booked for the same con next year already and fingers crossed i can get into acen again#anyway. fellow artists. bring some merch for things that aren't the biggest thing in the world#if everyone's selling genshit midpact you have to split the attention of every attendee who plays it#if you're the only booth selling something thats only moderately popular though. you'll get all that attention to yourself#and everyone that recognizes it will be really really excited about it. and then its not a Transaction its an Interaction and its FUN#i am saying this as somebody who never watches popular anime or plays gacha games pleeeeeeease diversify your catalogues dhjbdsfbhj#i started attending cons in 2016 and the 2016 ~ 2019 cons were completely different from cons in 2022 ~ 2024#and 'oh well they're Anime Cons ofc they have an emphasis on anime' isnt even an excuse because before 2020 it wasnt like that#esp here in chicago where we have like. three pop culture cons total. and they all have Anime in the name. doesnt stop anybody#or at least it didnt used to#anyway i am mentally pinning this ask in my brain corkboard and i will look at it forever <3 fandom is beautiful#THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE !!!! <3
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this is the only website i post art nowadays and i’ll keep doin it but DAMN…
#is there anywhere thats GOOD!!#and i just really dont like twitter anymore or anything with the same set up (bluesky)#its just so bad for art because there is basically no tagging system and everything is too fast paced for me#like im curious artists/writers where do u actually enjoy posting these days ?#tumblr is the only place where im actually happy to be and doesnt make me feel like my brain is rotting and YET…#but honestly what big site isnt selling your data#oh well i’ll be here unless it fully crumbles#i think i’ll start posting on youtube more this year too because im just sick of all these fast paced social medias i wanna take it sloww#and none of this AI shit pleaze#anyways ill be on here and youtube posting art whenever i have it ❤️👍 we’re taking it slow from now on forever and always#dont let all these places get to u. be human or whatever#give ur art a kiss
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tired of being quiet about this.......i do think dnp returning to youtube in the way that they did is one of the most unexpected events in the history of the internet to me. dan howell is a far, far better person than me because if i were him i would be in jail or in the hospital or both and certainly not on youtube. the amount of trust he has in their audience despite It All is insane to me i genuinely didnt think i'd ever see him again and my main feeling about that was 'good for him' and yet here the 2 of them are..... every post-hiatus video i click on feels like a fever dream from another universe. i hope everyone who watches them knows their newfound openness is very undeserved
#need to pick dans brain because i genuinely cannot fathom the decision to go back after everything#i watch their videos (SUE ME!!) but not much else so i dont know the general vibe of their fans at all but i do think it's a lot more chill#but sometimes i see their twitter replies and im like well. guess no one learned anything at all#personal#dnp#<- well thats a tag i have not used in 1 billion years. but my respect for blacklisters is too big to let any post go untagged
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[Image description: A digital drawing of Elizabeth Shelley and Jeffrey Franken from the film Frankenhooker. Elizabeth has her arm, which is coming loose from its stitches, draped around Jeffrey. This hand holds a beaker still for him, which is full of a glowing blue liquid. Her other hand holds a bag of Super Crack rocks to her side. She's wearing Jeffrey's head mirror, and gazing at him fondly. Jeffrey has the frankensteined female body he has at the end of the film, but he's dressed in his medical scrubs. One of his hands uses a pipette to drop more of the liquid into the beaker, while the other holds a match beneath it. He is focused on Elizabeth instead of the chemical process, looking lovingly up at her. Their poses are greatly entwined. Sparks of lightning, the same colour as the liquid, come off of the pair. Some sparks take the shape of love hearts. They are coloured in warm tones. There is a deep pink background.]
Inktober - Day 28 (Jumbo)
Film - Frankenhooker (Frank Henenlotter, 1990)
#inktober#inktober 2024#frankenhooker#frankenhooker fanart#elizabeth shelley#elizabeth shelley fanart#jeffrey franken#jeffrey franken fanart#digital art#obvs ive already seen it (twice) but im going to see this on a big screen on halloween and im so excited 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳#i mean frankenhooker is just incredible pls watch (and watch henenlotters other films too 🙏🙏#this fanart is set after the ending when everything has calmed down a bit lol#they probs have the most redeemable ending out of the pairs in henenlotter films#i think jeffrey could get used to the body#and i dont feel like there would be grudges held for too long#afterall they still have the same brains so theyre pretty sorted#why doesnt jeffrey get purple hair tho 😓#also little fun detail but neither of them have proper blush because yknow... dead...#anyway song of the day is gigantic by pixies#love the pixies (my fave album is doolittle... thats probs basic but oh well its banging)#gigantic is such a good song#picked it because of the theme mostly but i think it fits the vibe of the film#<3
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Recognizing Early Signs of Mental Illness
#fe3h#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#thats all it gets tagged as. if you see it then you were meant to see it.#txt post#side note while im in the tags no one looks at#im not too big a fan of the way people call his untreated psychosis as him being feral#its not a ground breaking take with the last 5 years of the game existing but ive only beem into fe3h for a year and its my blog#so I get to talk about it#like yes I understand its because he's likened to a Feral Boar charging ahead with destruction in its path and no brains etc etc#whatever felix said#but the way fans take that and really focus on calling an unhoused man with unresolved childhood ptsd haunting him for life feral?#the way fans take that and call a guy whos psychotic breakdown went untreated for 5 years feral?#REALLY doesnt sit well with me#idk im not the sort to be like “he didnt mean to murder this isnt him 🥺” because he did do that. a lot of that.#But people do things they dont want to do all the time when given the right mental state for it#Do you see people on the streets talking to themselves and shouting at the air and call them feral?#the ones you can smell from 6 feet away? the ones who have a crust on their hands and hair stiff from not having access to a proper shower?#the ones that havent had access to help or medication? Do you call them feral? Do you extend a hand or even look in their direction?#I'm rambling by this point. tldr mental health awareness and be kind to one another#and also to be careful and use your best judgement when helping because I stopped for an older woman asking for help#and she almost stabbed me in an empty parking lot#not my brightest moment
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kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it
#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you#youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying#and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away#like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right?#like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine#peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that#in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids#by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to#which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering#things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much#idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it#like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch#so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling#like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right?#and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression#bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad#and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn#so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference#idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough#just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more
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What if I connected to a very unstable chassis then tried to kill you and your girlfriend wouldn't that be fun
#i need to redo my artfight refs and i needed to design the chassis part of vampire core for later on in the story#he has like an outfit change moment#is it even a portal story if theres not an evil bitch piloting the chassis /j#this is the same chassis seen in the portal coop dlc just with some changes so it's easier to draw#i think using this chassis works better than glados's because i don't wanna add glados to my oc story and vampire core does a lot coop tests#soo thats the vision#nothing against glados but id perfer to keep paradox as an oc only thing#and i don't wanna research how to write glados by reading her wiki page for hours#goddd i need to write the story outline before artfight comes#id like at least some of my characters to have lore on their pages ya know :)#i keep saying 'wow i need to write this already' then not doing it#oc writing is fun. i know its fun. i have fun doing it. but my brain tricks me into thinking its not fun and i don't like doing it#i got to the coloring stage before realizing I didn't like the brush i used for lineart so i had to redo it#but im glad i did it looks much better :) it also let me add the big claws i wanted him to have#i gave up on that puppet its an optional accessory for fun now sorryyyyyy#aughh i wanna animate so bad seeing my friends animate motivates me to do it too but I dont have timeeeee#portal#portal oc#Vampire core (oc)
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i cant keep explaining slash shipping to normal people and then just receiving a "that doesn't make any sense" WHERE'S YOUR FUN??? YOUR WHIMSY??!?!? YOUR IMAGINATION???!???
#the parasite talks#like idk what to say to you i was just making a fun joke about the onceler x jack frost era and now im here explaining#the whole history of shipping and the joke is completely dead and buried like my hopes of feeling normal and not terminally online...#also them not understanding the tf2 ships????? at least some accept the heavy and medic ship but just cant wrap their heads around snipersp#LIKE THATS A BASIC ONE HOW ARE YOU GONNA LOOK AT ME WHEN I GET THE MERASMUS AND SOLDIER OR HEAVY AND SCOUT#what do you mean you cant ship demoman and soldier?? hi??? is this thing on???#how are you gonna react to the big four/ rise of the brave tangled dragons#just have fun for a bit.... it really doesnt need to be logical or make sense sometimes i just want to see two hot women making out#what do you mean i cant thing abt glados in her robot form and the hotel in her building mode and pass out because i know the chemistry#between them would be so toxic it would disintegrate me like the elephant's foot??? sorry for having fun with the media i interact with#actually no im not sorry just have fun for once im begging here sorry my brain is so massive and my ass so flat
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why does everything i get really into always end up being so god damn niche. by the year 2035 i am going to be blogging exclusively about the interpersonal relationships between the pillbugs and snails hiding underneath the bricks lining the flowerbeds in my parent's garden.
#im falling hard into the virvox guys rn sowwy. i like em a lot hee hee. i didnt realize just how small the fanbase for em was tho#actually i didnt realize how small the company that makes them were either. i got so used to the yamahas and cryptons of the vsynth world#that i forgot that like honestly. a lot of the voicebank makers and some of the software makers themselves#theyre like companies of like maybe 5 employees with like no funding LOL not a bad thing but i forgor#but yeah i was looking up to see if there was like. a fanon reason why people shipped takehiro and ryusei? not judging because i get it#i like took one look at the virvox guys and immediately slotted them as a very strange boyband (a catboy and a middle aged dragon man....)#and also took a second look at takehiro and ryusei and assumed they were childhood friends. i saw the doujin flash before my eyes#but also looking into it it seems the fanbase is also like. 20 people. and like 3 of them ship that#and at least one person ships whiteCUL and ryusei? why not LOL when it comes to vsynths sometimes a ship can be spearheaded by like#one very prolific artist HGDJKDFSHDJK which actually reminds me. honestly i dont really have many vsynth ships#i guess i dont really partake in a lot of shipping stuff deeply but i like romance!! you know i like love stories. you know this#i mean i keep calling the eclipsed sounds characters the celestial polycule for a reason tho. im not joking around about this#this is serious to me. they are stars and moons and suns and together they hang out and kiss. in the sky. this is serious to me#also i do like solaria x eleanor forte actually. its a bit random but i understand it. i understand it#and of course the aformentioned takehiro x ryusei. and also the whole virvox polycule. get that old man in here too#(what do they call people like me. a multishipper? i do that a lot. you know this from my otome game fanart LOL)#OH and i dont remember either of their names rn but i like that the cevio bank anju inami voiced has like a big fat crush on like#that girl with the brown hair. i like that theyre like. besties (turning into something more wink wonk)#thinks with all my brain. i think thats it. i dont know why theres so little. i think its because i think of them as like#audio sample libraries first and foremost and i forget about their characters and relationships LOL#but im not against the idea of making some audio sample libraries kiss...... not at all#picks up a guitar sampler and a sound effect cd. presses them together.#hee hee. they kiss
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im just rewatching a lot of stuff so hear me out
with the adventure 99 kids, the only way they know how to interact with digimon is if the world is at stake. there is a definite Divide of the human and digital world. the hikarigaoka and odaiba fog incident seals the deal with them. next time theyre called, diaboromon is rampaging the internet, and they can finally see their friends again. they had to part ways, and deal with growing without them first.
with the 02 cast, the worlds intertwine. they deal with enemies that interact with them in both worlds and have influence in both. by episode 50, the digimon being at home is a pretty open secret. they do everything together and in the 02 cast were a part of the incidents.
thats why kizuna was so jarring for them. at least taichi, yamato and sora. with the digimon now being more known, they could take them to class. they could have lunch out with them. however, there is definitely a cloud of 'I have only seen them in a life-threatening situation, what can I do with them' thoughts that's blocking them from having fun with them.
jou's arc in adventure especially speaks out to me. his issues are especially why he and gomamon are still together. its because of the issues at home. in the digital world, he learns the value of reliability in his own way. his own choice, as both a Chosen Child and as a person.
dealing with problems that relate to human social issues is hard for the 99 digidestined because all they know dealing with problems is to fight their way through it. it doesn't pass their thoughts that the digimon themselves are related to their own personal issues.
#digimon adventure#digimon 02#meta#digimon kizuna#analysis#jyou kido#joe kido#digimon are our inner children#and this is why i have been saying i want a gomamon all week#im at the tri taichi stage of WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING AND WHAT DO I DO#I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING /WRONG/#so once i get up to 02 with one of my friends i will share this thought#fr growing up with digimon and especially as the older versions of the kids are already out shows a difference#everyone who watched while airing already experienced growing up#my version of growing up /is/ the digimon series#everything is on fire. heres some trauma. oh yea heres this big decision. the fate of how i interact with the world changes with what i do#also the dub line of 'because thats what im supposed to do' from episode 48 changed my brain function#pov the things you are expected to do can leave you with scars. you want to scream.
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heeseung is so college senior who has a crush on you coded
#yes im saying hes a loser because he does in fact not get the girl#but the concept is so real#like the 2nd lead in all those dramas#thats heeseung#you cant comvince me otherwise#green flag heeseung and red flag main lead but somehow the female lead fumbles and picks the other dude#thats the vibes#hua big brain moment 🌸
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Super heavy vent ahead in the tags
#bird chirps#vent#Talking about political stuff and suicidal ideation#But genuinely I cant anymore with this election. Im fucking terrified#Granted my dad’s a major pessimist and I think he lowkey enjoys others suffering#So his passionate rants about how we have no future and life isnt worth it if Trump wins definitely isnt helping#But holy shit Im actually terrified#Im trying to not crawl into the pit of despair but I really don’t know how life can go on worst case scenario#I cant delay my life four more years minimum for another recession/depression#I cant stay in this house and watch my rights get taken away#Theres just so much shit to be afraid of#And granted I live in a swing state. I think its still a swing state anyway since we tend to vote republican#So the campaigning here gets brutal#But it’s hard to stay positive when it seems like EVERYONE irl is so fucking pro trump#Im just praying theres a silent majority and that isnt the case#But God I cant fucking do this man#Situations where you have little to no control over the outcome are a fucking nightmare#I can vote so at least that’s something. But thats not enough to ease the anxiety#I need the outcome to be GUARENTEED and thats just not gonna happen#So I just sit here as shit gets worse and it’s harder to keep calm#And I dont have a good track record of having Safe Mental Health while in election times#So this just. Really fucking sucks#I hate when I get like this because it feels like such a major step back#And with an event THIS big its hard to push it all away as irrational and a mental health issue#Because my brain goes ‘Well LOGICALLY you WONT be able to go on so this is a correct way to think’#I hate it so fucking much#If Trump wins Ill pick up smoking or something. Fuck it#Deciding on an action like THAT is still less destructive than full on suicide plan#But I just. I cant fucking do this#Can I teleport to 2028 and just pray everythings okay
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biting. biting. biting.
#having thoughts and feelings about ‘relationships’ and companionship and partnership and whatnot.#aro thoughts.#<if that shows up in a tag and people see it ill kill someone#i just. im grateful to have escaped the confines of amatonormativity to the degree that i already have#but im exhausted by how much of a fucking Process it is#i have dear friends that i can have and will again fight terrible circumstances to be with.#i have two lovely roommates who consider me a life partner at this moment in time#when my friends say they might movei start planning how to visit them.#my friends mean so much to me!!! and i am so grateful for them!!!#and i am so MAD that its taken me so long to know that thats. fine. and allowed#i love every single one of my friends like the sun is going to burst out of my chest.#and i am also constantly trying to hide that#why!!!! from who!!!! my friends?????#they deserve to know!!!!#but somewhere along the line it got twisted into my brain that the way i love is shameful#maybe its the rest of the shame complex but whatever#and i. have fallen into structure traps before#because i dont know what the structure for a relationship like this looks like!!#i dont know how to express ‘i love you and i want to build a life with you and also crawl into your skin’ in like. a platonic way#and sometimes i express that and end up in a romantic relationship which fails . because it is a structure that does not fit the shape of#my love#i also! get scared!! when expressing how big my love is!!! i worry that someone will try and fit me into that structure again!!#i dont fucking WANT that structure! im sick of it i fucking despise it! it doesnt fit and i hate it#but when i say ‘i love everyone ive ever met like they are the morning sun’ i worry my friends hear it and think it is too intense a love#for the structure they have set up for ne#anyways. a lot of this is really difficult to put into words#because its FEELINGS#op
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