#once again the most doglike cat i have ever met in my life

[ratatatastic]

not a single braincell to be found amongst them not a single damn one

[luckychild]

Hi Star, my dog of fifteen years died today and I was hoping for some prompts to cheer me up. Obviously Kuwabara is a cat man, but what pets do the others get, and how do they handle picking them out with their SOs? Thanks :)

I am SO SORRY to hear about your precious pupper! I hope I can do these justice. I sometimes let asks percolate in my head for a bit before answering, but this I felt required a rush job given the day you’ve had.

To start, here are Yusuke and Hiei; they came to me very quickly, but I confess I’m currently stumped for Kurama (I keep imagining him trying to convince his S/O to “adopt” a sentient Venus flytrap with him). I’ll come back and reblog with an update once I figure out Kurama’s entry.

So sorry for your loss, anon, and I hope this can cheer you up even a little bit.

YUSUKE: Man’s Best Friend

Yusuke isn’t really the type for pets. He doesn’t like having to take care of something or be its sole caregiver, considering such an arrangement a chore. But after Puu hatched, he started to see the value in keeping an animal companion…. so when his S/O asks about getting a dog, Yusuke reluctantly agrees to pick one out. Puu’s enormous size forces him to stay at Genkai’s temple in the countryside, and Yusuke misses Puu a lot, though he’ll never admit it.

But while buying dogs is common in Japan, Yusuke is not the type to go for something from a breeder. Yusuke sees himself in a rescue dog: rough around the edges, living on the street, but with a lot of heart. Like him, really. He and his S/O are definitely going to visit a shelter and lots of animal rescue sites until someone catches Yusuke’s eye.

This is where we learn Yusuke is… picky.

Click “Read More” for the rest of Yusuke’s story + Hiei!

“Too fluffy. Too small. Too yappy.” The pair of you walk down the row of cages at the shelter almost without pausing, Yusuke shouting out dismissal after dismissal as he sees the current selection of dogs. “Too big. Too ugly. Ugh, and that one’s a puppy. Too much work!”

You trail after him, glancing at dogs and voicing protests over the thunderous sound of all the shelter dogs barking in tandem. He rejected a bunch of great potential pets right off the bat; isn’t he being too judgmental? You grab his arm and drag him back into the shelter once you reach the end of the rows of cages, making him take his time and look at each dog more thoroughly. Row by row, cage by cage, you inspect all of them—and just as you think you’ll never find a dog, Yusuke spots a certain cage and stops cold.

The dog inside that cage isn’t the prettiest. He’s an older yellow lab mix with a mottled muzzle and a scar over his eye. His paws are calloused and his tail doesn’t wag. He lies on his belly and stares out between the cage bars in silence, not barking like all the other dogs who’re yapping their heads off. He’s just… quiet. Quiet and still, eyes dull and unseeing. And Yusuke holds still, too, as he and the dog trade a long, silent stare.

Quietly, you slip your hand into Yusuke’s. He startles and squeezes your fingers, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand.

“Think we can meet this guy?” he says in a low voice.

The yellow lab isn’t the most conventional of choices. There are certainly cuter dogs in the shelter, and younger ones, and a few pure-breeds, too. But this is the only dog Yusuke has given a second look, so you nod, and the pair of you go get a shelter worker to take the dog out of his cage.

The worker says something about that dog not being an ideal pet, citing his age and sullen temperament, but Yusuke shoots him a death stare, and the shelter employee falls silent with haste.

You meet the yellow lab mix in a small outdoor yard ringed by a tall fence. The dog doesn’t react to you at first, instead sniffing around the edges of the fence and ignoring you and Yusuke alike. You hang back as Yusuke plops onto the ground, watching the dog in silence for a bit. You can’t read Yusuke’s face just then. He looks serious, especially when he holds out his hand and pats the ground in front of him.

It gets the dog’s attention. The animal halts, brown eyes fixing on Yusuke without blinking.

Yusuke smiles and pats the ground again.

The dog doesn’t move.

“Hey, boy,” Yusuke says. “C’mere.”

The dog doesn’t move.

“It’s OK,” Yusuke said, cracking a big grin. “You can trust me.”

The dog’s ears prick forward. Yusuke chuckles.

“I get it. Still figuring out if I’m all right,” Yusuke says. “I’m that way, too. Enough people knock ya around, you start wondering if any of ‘em are OK.” He grins again. “But I’m not giving up on you so easy, you got that?”

The dog does not move.

Then, slowly… his tail starts to wag.

Your eyes prick with tears at the sight of that wagging tail, the tiny spark of light in the dog’s eye, and the look of understanding on Yusuke’s face. And although it takes a few more visits for that yellow lab mix to come around, Yusuke never once gives up on him—and you know in your bones that you and Yusuke have found the newest member of your family.

HIEI: Demon’s Best... Uh... "Friend” Might Not Be the Right Word...

Yusuke found man’s best friend, but Hiei isn’t interested in something so mundane. No, for Hiei, a pet needs to be useful. It needs to earn its keep. So when you start pestering him to adopt an animal with you and bring a new companion into your lives, he’s initially quite skeptical.

What do dogs do, though? And cats, they just laze about? He’s equally critical of birds and lizards, and don’t get him started on the uselessness of fish and rodents! But you are relentless in your quest to get something to cuddle (since Hiei isn’t the cuddliest by any means) and you make your feelings crystal clear. Hiei is a very come-and-go-like-the-wind sort of man, which means you’re often left alone for extended periods. Sure, you have your friends to keep you company, but a pet would make Hiei’s absences just the littlest bit easier to bear.

Still: Despite you telling Hiei that you want a furry friend, when he informs you that you’ll be taking a little trip with him to Demon World in the coming weeks, it doesn’t occur to you that this might have something to do with your request. Any pet you get will come from Human World, after all...

...or will it?

Hiei’s quite tight-lipped about why he’s taking you to his home world, but soon you find yourself in a Demon World market in the heart of Gandara, walking beside him through the crowd and staring with an open mouth at the passing demons. Soon you duck into a dimly lit shop, where a demon with a long beard escorts you into a back room.

There you find an object draped with a black cloth. The elderly demon removes this cloth with a flourish, revealing a basket full of squirming fur. You gasp and shrink back as a small growl trills from the basket, but Hiei nudges you forward with a hand and points.

“Pick one,” he commands.

You blink at him in confusion. “Huh?”

“Pick one,” he says. “One of the pups.”

Pups? The word certainly piques your interest. You pad forward and peer into the basket again, this time making out vague lumps amid the pile of fur inside. They look like small puppies with oddly domed heads, eyes barely even open, all of them covered in thick golden and white fluff that gleams in the light of the lamp nearby. But there’s something vaguely not-doglike about their anatomy, and you’re not entirely sure what you’re looking at.

“What… are they?” you eventually ask.

“Fu dogs,” says Hiei.

“Those big stone dog statues that guard temples?” you ask, poking one of the squirming pups with a fingertip. It gives a little peep and a growl; you snatch back your hand, a memory occurring to you. Turning to Hiei in alarm, you say, “Wait. Fu dogs aren’t actually dogs—they’re lions!” Your voice rises an octave. “Are these pups actually lions, Hiei?!”

But Hiei only scoffs. “No, you fool. They’re demons. But they inspired those statues you mentioned, if the legends hold true.”

Uh... OK. OK, then. This… this is weird, but it’s far from the weirdest thing Hiei’s ever told you (the fact that demons exist at all took that prize). Taking a few deep breaths, you steady yourself and stare at the fu dog/lion puppies, trying to figure out just what the heck Hiei is showing you these things for—

The penny drops in short order. Surely he doesn’t mean you’ll be taking one of these back as a pet, does he? You can’t have a lion-dog-demon for a pet! But Hiei looks impatient, and you realize that’s exactly what he wants you to do. You swallow down the nervous lump in your throat and poke again at the squeaking, squirming basket, trying to figure out what the heck to do, to say.

“How big do they get?” you eventually ask.

Hiei replies at once: “Massive.”

You look at him in horror. “I can’t keep one of these in my apartment!”

“Of course you can,” Hiei retorts. “They’re fastidiously clean, and they’re far smarter than half of the humans I’ve met. It won’t be a burden.” His eyes darken; he looks away. “But more importantly… fu dogs are unfailingly loyal to those that raise them. Anyone who raises such a creature can count on it to provide them protection until the end of their days.”

You look at the basket with new understanding. “Protection…”

“It will guard you when I cannot.”

The two of you trade a long, silent look laden with meaning. Hiei has never made excuses for his long absences from your life. He needs his solitude, his space, and you do not fault him for that. You understand him, and you respect his needs. But at times you’ve wondered how much he cares about your needs when he’s not around, and this… this is proof he’s thinking of them quite seriously.

A companion and a protector as a pet, you muse. It satisfies both your needs and his at once. How very ‘Hiei’ of Hiei to suggest such a thing…

Taking another deep breath, you once more approach the basket, tracing a finger down the head of one of the small pups. It opens its pink mouth and gnaws on your knuckle with bare gums, paws pressing gently against your skin.

“Well… I guess they are pretty cute,” you admit—and behind you, Hiei begins to smile.

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed these imagines/headcanons/whatever they ares!

Headcanon & Imagine Masterlist | Tip Jar

[akutagawaprize]

Youkai AU

After Harry Potter AU, Figure Skating AU and the April Fools Taishou Stray Dogs AU, you might be thinking "Not again" right? Hah, as if i can be stopped!

Now I bring a youkai AU!

Let me be clear that I am no expert when it comes to Japanese mythology; any erroneous information you may read was made for artistic liberty. I did my best to research, but in the end I cannot hide that my biggest influences were Nurarihyon no Mago, Noragami, xxxHolic, and Natsume Yuujinchou. Since I’ve also read Lafcadio Hearn's Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things, I may have also included elements that were directly taken from the stories in its pages.

Although the idea’s been stewing at the back of my head since forever, this post was written after being greatly inspired by this upcoming set of buraiha goods (1) (2). Now I'm not sure if they'll be selling other characters fitting in with this theme, but no matter what, I wanted a world where ADA will be mostly humans since major conflicts in these sorts of stories involve clashes between youkai and humans. Although at times, meddlesome gods step in~~

Unlike my other AUs which tried to keep Atsushi as the "hero" of the story, this time the main conflict centers around... Ranpo! Is it surprising? Believe me, even I was amused that this was where the direction went while I was brainstorming. I do think it's fitting though, as ADA was originally formed to give Ranpo a safe space to use his intellect as a means to help investigate criminal activities.

EDIT: Funny because after making this post, BONES posted this.

And with that, the characters!

Dazai Osamu

— A bandaged man traveling across the nation offering his services as an onmyouji. The truth is, he's half-human, half-youkai —the product of a raunchy one-night stand between a drunken Aomori official and a powerful youko on her way to becoming a Tenko. The Inari Kami who were waiting for the entry of another Tenko raged and forcibly took away the kitsune's hoshi no tama (a kitsune’s life force), draining her of her power and eventually her life. Their offspring would soon be raised by Mori, still a minor deity at the time. Despite not being a fullblooded youkai, Dazai can manifest up to 5 tails . He also has white fur, usually associated with a kitsune who achieved 8 to 9 tails. Dazai can not only drive out spirits and spiritual entities, he can also manifest in the dreams of others, take flight, become invisible and create illusions. He can blend in with humans even in daylight, although he cannot possess them. Under Mori he was a scary youkai who inspired awe and respect, but now he's just a freeloader in Ranpo's shrine, spending his days drinking sake and irritating Kunikida. Usually he is in control of his human appearance, but would sometimes expose himself especially when rattled by the presence of dogs.

Oda Sakunosuke — A half-human, half-youkai with doglike features. On certain days, at a certain mountaintop, he would drink sake and enjoy a feast with his good friends Dazai and Ango. Despite being an inugami, Oda never made Dazai feel threatened in his presence. And although not someone of influence or power, he was known throughout the Kansai region for being a kind youkai who wouldn’t senselessly kill even if his father used to be a feared dai-youkai. Oda loved humans and embraced both their good and bad natures, but this love would turn out to be the reason for his demise. He openly opposed children sacrifices, and thus earned the ire of a few gods. Mori, newly appointed as a god of death and disease, told Oda he would spare him his life if he would offer five orphan children to appease the offended gods. Oda refused and was consequently killed. Dazai would later realize that Mori planned everything to please the gods and secure his place.

Sakaguchi Ango — A half-human, half-youkai with raccoon-like features. On certain days, at a certain mountaintop, he would drink sake and enjoy a feast with his good friends Oda and Dazai.  Hailing from Shikoku, he journeyed to the mainland under the orders of a dai-youkai named Taneda. Like Oda, he is considered an oddball because he takes more interest in texts and records left behind by humans. As a bakedanuki, he can perform a heritage technique which stirs up leaves around the area, allowing him to trap opponents within a spiral of leaves. Although Ango himself is not aware of this, his reports to Shikoku allowed Mori the needed information to get rid of Oda. Because of this, his friendship with Dazai soured. Ango was last seen in the capital, accompanying a group of onmyouji.

Edogawa Ranpo — A survivor of the the Great Fire of Meireki. Not only was he left orphaned and without a home, he was also ostracized after revealing it was a well-known monk who accidentally started the fire by cremating an allegedly cursed kimono. He was accused of slander. Chased out by the angry Edo people, he ended up passing out in front of a run-down shrine for a local deity. As Ranpo's parents were the deity's fervent followers, the deity took him in. Bored of the world and wanting to live the rest of his days in peace and solitude, he passed on his divinity to Ranpo. As a new deity, Ranpo has much to learn. Because he is strongwilled and has no filter, he gets in trouble not only with youkai but also with his fellow deities. In addition, his scent is tempting to all sorts of supernatural creatures.Thankfully, he manages to form a household that will defend him and help him become the best deity he can be!

Fukuzawa Yukichi — A ronin who once took part in the Keian Uprising. He is a man concerned not only with the state of disgruntled samurai families he had once wished to champion, but also enlightenment, exercise of liberty, impartial justice, and the overall betterment of people's lives. Living as a ronin, he grew to become more and more jaded through the years. Upon meeting Ranpo and developing fatherly feelings towards this kid he viewed as similar to a newly-hatched duckling, he decided to be his protector, not knowing then that Ranpo was recently made a deity. Fukuzawa has no spiritual awareness, but he possesses a natural barrier that makes youkai and other supernatural creatures wary of him. His sword can cut through demons and even heavenly beings; Fukuzawa was previously unaware of this, saying he just found it at the shrine of the god of felines and fortune.

Nakajima Atsushi — An amnesiac foreign youkai Dazai claimed he found while he was trying to drown himself in the river. He is an interesting case; spirits and demons usually don't stray far away from their land of birth not only because it naturally weakens them, but also because land demons can't cross seas as they will only end up as prey for waiting ayakashi and underwater demons. However, Atsushi's weretiger form is still very much powerful and can rival even the most well-known cat/cat-like youkai of their land. Interested in Atsushi and wanting to raise him into becoming a proper youkai, Dazai decides to make the confused boy his apprentice. Can only transform into a full tiger when the moon's out. His favorite food is the chazuke served by the inn nearest to Ranpo's shrine.

Kunikida Doppo — A scholar deeply indebted to Fukuzawa. Not only is he well-educated, he also trains in martial arts and wants Fukuzawa to be his teacher when it comes to the way of the sword. Ranpo deduces he has talent when it comes to driving out spirits, so he was also forced to diligently train as an onmyouji under Dazai. Kunikida's preferred method of fighting supernatural entities are through the use of ofuda (paper talismans). He can use them for purification and to bind weaker youkai. Usually he carries blank papers and ink with him, which is a hassle but something he’s gotten used to. Though at first he was scared of the unknown, he's starting to become unfazed by all the unbelievable things that usually comes their way. He is friends with a man nicknamed "zashiki warashi" because said friend won't leave his home, as well as an actual zashiki warashi who wants to make him notice her. The one in charge of the household's expenses.

Yosano Akiko —Came from another province and has a somewhat infamous reputation in her hometown for beating up her would-be harassers to the point they had to lock themselves in jail to escape her. Her family are longtime friends of the Edogawas, so she rushed to check up on them as soon as she heard about the great fire in Edo. After learning about Ranpo's fate, she chose to stay and act as a priestess for his shrine. Although Yosano didn't mean for it to happen, she became endowed with mystical healing powers after being possessed by a lake demoness Dazai scorned. After getting used to her newfound ability, she would end up terrorizing the rest of the household by asking sweetly if they wanted to help her practice her healing. (Nobody ever volunteers.)

Tanizaki Junichirou — A cowardly young man who came to Ranpo's shrine asking for him to bless their home since he thinks there are malevolent spirits after his younger sister Naomi. What he doesn't want to admit to himself is that his sister Naomi is the spirit, as she died during the Great Fire of Meireki. Bursting with unusually high spiritual energy, Tanizaki wrecked havoc in his village to the point that Dazai had Atsushi transform to stop him. After accepting the reality of his sister's death and showing remorse for his actions, Tanizaki was ordered by Ranpo to join his household, taking in the roles of being the shrine groundskeeper and the deity's personal errandboy. 

Naomi — A beautiful girl who met an untimely death. Her brother's grief attracted evil forces to his side and almost turned the both of them into vengeful youkai. After her purification she was able to become a roaming spirit. As she is unable to cross to the land of the dead yet, she naturally chose to stick by her brother's side. Everyone can see Naomi but Fukuzawa.

Miyazawa Kenji — A young farmer boy from ◯ mountain. He possesses supernatural strength and an extremely suspect knowledge about youkai and how to ward them off. According to Dazai though, he is 100% human. He came down from ◯ mountain to give offerings to Ranpo's predecessor, but ended up taking residence near Ranpo's shrine to tend to a rice paddy which was the previous home of a hostile youkai. No one dares cross him when he's hungry.

Izumi Kyouka — Her mother was a yuki onna who was killed by a traveling onmyouji from the capital. Ozaki took her in and taught her to be distrustful of humans. Eventually, Kyouka became convinced that embracing her human side would only bring her suffering. After she got separated from Ozaki's demon parade, she got lost and was found by a bunch of bandits. Scared and remembering Ozaki's words, she killed everyone by freezing them to death. News about her spread and she was hunted, eventually being caught by Atsushi. He hid her in Ranpo's household and taught her that not all humans were bad. When Ozaki located her and tried to get her back, Kyouka said she wished to stay in the world of light. Has a black hole for a stomach, increasing Kunikida's worries about their household expenses.

Mori Ougai —  Started out as a minor deity of healing. During the Heian period, he managed to overthrow a major god by gaining a sizable following after saving the life of a man who would later become the head of the influential Minamoto clan. He's now a god of death and disease and is able to freely travel across the land of humans, the dwelling place of the gods, and the underworld. Hundreds of lesser demons are under his command. He took in Dazai some hundred years ago because he thought he could use him to gain access to the Scrolls of Heaven. Over time, he grew to fear that he will suffer the same fate as his predecessor and sought to drive Dazai out.

Elise — She takes on the appearance of a little girl, and is a mysterious being who originated from the West. No one knows how Mori came to be acquainted with her or why he decided to make her his familiar.

Ozaki Kouyou — A descendant of Kiyohime, she blinds men and youkai alike with her resplendent appearance, her ornate robes hiding her golden tail. It must be the curse of their line to fall in love with a human they cannot be with, as Ozaki's lover was killed in battle before they could run away south. Ozaki is one of Mori's more devout followers, and was disappointed when Kyouka chose to stay with Ranpo's household instead of returning back to her. She is in command of over a hundred oni and youkai.

Nakahara Chuuya — A kitsune who is only a few decades older than Dazai. Celebrated as the most beautiful kitsune born in the current millennium, he is fond of using his powers of flight and levitation to show off. Though not mischievous in nature as the other kitsune, sometimes he shapeshifts into either a beautiful man or woman to seduce powerful corrupt figures and punish unfaithful lovers. However, Chuuya is hotheaded and does not think things through, leading to Dazai fooling him into handing over his hoshi no tama. Before giving it back, Dazai extracted a promise from Chuuya that the latter will come to his aid whenever and whereever he called for him. As a result of this, he dreams of killing Dazai so he can finally be free of the promise. Another one of Mori's commanders, but more attached to Ozaki. Sometimes mistaken for a bakaneko.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke —He was a sickly child whose body was used as a vessel to create an inugami. As such, he was raised in the family's storage room chest together with his sister. However, it turned out the family didn't follow the ritual and messed up, making the siblings unstable and feral. At first, they were only disobedient and would occasionally bite members of the family when hungry. But they turned more violent over the following weeks, with the head of the family deciding to put them down. The mix of hatred, pain and anger wrapped itself around Akutagawa and gave him immense spiritual power, allowing him to control a black beast he named Rashomon. Aktuagawa killed everyone in that family before being found by Dazai, who at that time was still under Mori. As a kitsune naturally hated the presence of dogs, he was extra harsh while training Akutagawa. After Dazai left Mori, Akutagawa rose up the ranks to make a name for himself. Since Akutagawa’s parents sold him and his sister for a bag of silver, he hates humans and thinks their greed knows no bounds.

Gin — Akutagawa's younger sister. She was a healthy child, but offered herself as a vessel because she couldn't stand seeing her brother suffer alone. Thanks to the incomplete ritual, she was left completely mute.

Hirotsu — A karasu tengu who valiantly guards Mori’s main temple. He once served the war god Mori sent to be permanently imprisoned in the underworld.

Higuchi Ichiyou — A miko who helps manage one of Mori's temples. A deep impression was left on her after witnessing Akutagawa make quick work of the demons who wanted to eat her.

Jiido — A fallen samurai who was betrayed by his own master. Because of his prowess in battle, he became an executioner for a circle of gods. Oda freed him from this miserable duty, although at the cost of his own life.

Notes:

— Dazai's backstory mostly takes inspiration from Abe no Seimei's.

— The setting is in Edo, during the Meireki Era. In a youkai AU, most people would want to place characters in the Heian Period, but I wanted this AU to be a little different.

—  "If you eat a god you can possess their divinity" is a famous saying amongst youkai, but this claim has yet to be proven. Gods and deities do smell wonderful for youkai though.

— Since I'm not gonna be writing this story anyway, I imagine Ranpo having to come to terms with the fact that his friends will grow old and eventually die. He'd be left behind again. And he can't do anything about it, as rejecting his divinity means he has to pass it down to someone else. His body has only started accepting the divine energy, so if it's removed before his body can properly adjust, he’d be destroyed from the inside out. Dazai guessed he'd need to wait at least 25 years before he could safely pass his divinity on. And so one of the other sideplots is finding the whereabouts of the local god who came before Ranpo.

—  Mori could have been a demon, but that would be expected so I made him a god. He'd just be as cunning and ruthless, but this time he'll also be more ambitious as he plans to unite Japan's youkai under him without the other gods taking notice. Ranpo's growing following grabs his attention and after learning that Dazai joined Ranpo's household... Well...

—  RIP Oda, but since there's a way to cross to the land of the dead, maybe Dazai can see him again...?

— Notables gods like Amaterasu, Izanagi, Izanami, Susanoo and Tsukuyomi do exist in this AU, but they're unconcerned with the squabbles of everyone else. Gods, humans, demons — it's all the same to beings as powerful as them. They all have access to the Scrolls of Heaven, something which Mori greatly desires.

— ...Akutagawa could have been a kappa.