#thats all i gots 2 say
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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also been thinking abt pooki with his cunty scarf💅
if my next drawing post isnt the comic update take me out back and shoot me like a sick dog
#ghost#this was a wip too and its mainly to keep that damn twitter algorithm from throwing me into the abyss if im not on every fukkin day#i got sonethin imma post on patreon bc christ sake ppl are paying me but otherwise no more fukkin around#my first time seeing him wit the scarf a 'slay queen' slipped out despite me never really fukkin saying shit like that AHA#ghost with the crustiest bloodshot eyes from getting 3 hrs of sleep bawling his eyes out in the shower and smoking 5 blunts#bc girl thats how it is#my art#fanart#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost mw2#ghost cod#mw3#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty modern warfare 3#put em all in there fuggit
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space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#gorgug thistlespring#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#figueroth faeth#the bad kids#half tempted to say these names are forum handles they use so much it pretty much became their professional names lol#I keep them teenagers bc its funnier that way#no real lore I just like drawing this. but I do think abt how theyre all weirdos too also bc thats funny to me#riz is a huge conspiracyhead who does everything by hands. he has a casio fx-570 in mint condition. nobody knows how he's maintaining it#he is nonetheless Really Good at his job. which somewhat tracks bc it's a job that requires keeping up with interstation conflicts#and new policies and an obsessive amount of planning. but he is Too Good at it. and also he dresses like that#kristen has the atomic engine that theoretically lets her unmake and remake matters with her mind. but it consumes a huge amount#of energy so it's mostly useless. she's still a cult survivor also#gorgug lives his entire life on a ship with his parents who quit a cushy deal maintaining a space station bc he wouldn't be allowed on#the low gravity let him grow very tall but also his oxygen saturation is pretty bad so he's got breathing support#fig is a robot who just found out she's a robot like two months ago. she's been assuming everyone's a robot like her and she's been feeling#very betrayed by her mom lying about that part. she's on a body mod spree which is rough bc system-specific parts are expensive#and so is adapting random parts to her system#fabian's still a pirate captain's son. can't say anything that'd be able to get the vibes across clearer than that#adaine went to tech/business school. she put her monthly allowance towards an ecoterrorist group in her academy which turned out to be an o#and she's currently wanted by UTS. more than fabian. which makes him slightly mad#she's also acquired a passion for low-tech weaponry on the way. she likes ice picks and cleavers#I think up all of this for no reason except that once again the idea of all these people being 1/teens and 2/on the same ship to be posties#is hilarious to me. esp. if they were in a forum group chat beforehand
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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So I drew these under the assumption that diane used to be part of kitty's crew and realized after that i don't actually know if that's tru or not so uuuuuhhhh probably should've just waited for the movie to come out to start drawing shit but 👍
#my art#doodles#the bad guys#diane foxington#tbg kitty kat#the bad guys 2#IF thats the case tho i have so many thoughts about it already#its juicy. u kno#not to compare them to fluffyvenom but i feel like there ARE parallels IF THIS IS THE CASE.#like imagine being so close with this girl for who knows how long#you understand each other. you support each other. you're there for each other.#you her and ur other friends are like a genuine family#its you against the world#and then one day she decides to say fuck all that and leave#and you dont understand why. you feel betrayed#she did what was best for her but what was WORST for YOU#as the audience we know diane did the right thing for herself. but imagine being kitty & her crew#imagine the resentment that would fester on BOTH sides#(and obv did based on the fight snippets we got)#but the love will always still be there. the betrayal wouldn't hurt otherwise#anyway if all of that turns out to not be relevant just forget i sad anything !!!!!#ok love u bye#also do they have a ship name?? pls enlighten me if so#I'll never abandon crimsonwebs in my heart btw but. come on
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DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: it’s fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was.
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to…
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks*
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused*
odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean
odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand.
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it
odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement*
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner.
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself*
poseidon: yes… friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope.
penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them*
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure… no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone!
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it*
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it*
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together?
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon*
odysseus: uh sure…
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes*
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking*
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curious
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table*
poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*
poseidon: i’m right aren’t -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…
poseidon: ok…
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didn’t-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i-
odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed…
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge*
poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table*
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something.
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though?
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i can’t
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs.
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also.
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back*
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon?
telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick*
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness*
telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity*
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…
telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is*
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion*
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused*
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon*
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus*
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift.
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachus’ gift into his chiton* uh… uh…MOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca… odysseus gave you…moly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no… he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes… he practically hands out this stuff as you know…#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
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i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped
[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]
#my art#mysme#mystic messenger#v mystic messenger#jihyun kim#ummmm hi guys#^-^#fanart from me?? posted directly to this blog ??? or at all??? Well.#i was looping this song and i had the idea for this and then sat down for about four hours and here it is#im on like day 2 of v's route for the first time AND this song just came out like right as i got into his route yknow#and i was listening to those lyrics like.... huh.....#this soundssss. familiar.#anyway. politely i did NOT think that if i made fanart of this game after returning to it for the first time in like 6 years. it would be V#i adore this song though. and it compels me#i havent ever seen his route before so i still don't know how it ends idk how accurate this vibe even is#i would say try to avoid spoiling me in the tags but im gonna be real say whatever you want kings#i love u mysme fandom thats still around in 2024 you get me#anyway im drafting this at about 3 in the morning and i need to be awake earlyish tomorrow SO.#we'll see when i post this#its been so long since ive posted art i just do nawt make fanart until i get divinely inspired#iffff its blurry please click to see it its supposed to be crisp ^^;#been on this site how long i still pay no mind to their suggested image resolution#OH and by day 2 of V's route i mean like day 6 overall. you understand
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Spamton, do you ever have anything to keep you warm as it gets colder?
-C
#i usually do a hand gesture because thats llike... staple atp...#but i ddint like it so i got rid of it. and by it.. wel.. haha... lets just say.. his hansd/..#I love seeing the reoccurring askers. its so cutw 2 me..#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#i was gonna do this one AFTER one where he's talking while putting it back on after he slept#But i figured it'd be way better if he said the same thing but. without it on.#like. YEAH..??? THE THING I WEAR ALL THE TIME??? (not wearing that thing) i couldnt NOT do that because he would#it took a whil to get to just like everythnif ever i eant to do qand ehthen never eget to#tonights dinner.... still frames. yo u are eating woven canvas tonight. Or go to bed hungry.
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An analysis on c!Owen and his behaviour throughout the Outsiders SMP series!
Some disclaimers before I go into this. There will be spoilers up ahead! I would like to warn anyone reading that this post will mention some blacklisted members from the smp because their characters play a role in showing us about cOwen.
For convenience, all the members mentioned are the characters, not the actual ccs themself. Some of this might seem all over the place, but when the characters learn random parts of themselves at different points it's bound to happen.
Owen has changed a lot as the series has progressed and many find his personality to have changed entirely towards the end, however, this isn’t really the case. When we go over his character, we can see his core values have stuck with him throughout the series, so in this post, I will go over how exactly he has changed over time and his character in general.
To make it easier, I’m gonna split it into 3 parts. Early maze days, the introduction of clearing 2, and post memories.
During the early maze days Owen establishes his character very early on. Right from the beginning, Owen arrives with the demon Rasbi. They are notably one of the three pairs that come up, with most coming up the elevator alone. The first time we see him, Owen immediately takes up a role as a protector, asking if Rasbi knows how to fight in case there is danger up ahead.
In this first section, we can also see that he acts a lot more childish and naive. He’s very emotional and easily upset by his past. He can be seen jumping on rocks with Mohwee and the others and crying on his first night over his loss of memories. The overwhelmingness of the clearing gets to him. This isn’t to say he is some weak, stupid or soft character though.
Owen may be naive in believing things should be played in certain ways according to his rules but there are many instances where we can see he’s not stupid. First episode he can immediately recognise what knife Oeca is holding “Hey that’s a throwing knife right? No that’s a dagger”
After getting more settled in the maze he asks about the maze’s agriculture, he mentions everyone is unarmed despite fearing the dangers in the maze. He starts asking about protection, armour, shields and notably, “So this place is safe on the inside? It's safe to walk at night?” He’s already worried for everyone’s safety here, he knows the maze is dangerous so is there anywhere that’s safe?
Very early on his past also becomes a very important aspect of his personality. He is probably one of the first to remember anything significant about his past. By episode 2 he is getting flashbacks about how to make a bow. But he makes a javelin first, noting “I think I was a hunter. No, I was an archer. I was a hunter. I was a soldier? I was good at this.” He then proceeds to aim the javelin at Oeca’s name, because at this point he can’t fully trust Ocea. He is very quick to violence, although he doesn't want Oeca dead, he certainly can’t trust in him.
Another important note is that Mohwee is one of the people in the clearing he respected and saw as someone with the ability to act. Which is why we get this interaction where Mohwee calls out “Owen.” and Owen replies with “yes sir”. His past even without his memories is important and ingrained enough he still acts like this, and this only continues as we go through this section.
The first time they go in the maze as a group is when Apo arrives. This is a very important moment for Owen because their first trip in the maze solidifies his personality throughout this section and maybe even the series. Oeca is shot because Mohwee was careless and brought anyone in. When the group comes back, Owen asks Graecie, “How many entrances are there to this maze?” After finding out this is the only one that opens, he refuses to let anyone get hurt again and starts blocking it off.
Trust and promises are very important to Owen here too because it's one of the key reasons he blocks off the entrance. It’s not just Oeca getting hurt, it’s the fact he promised Graecie he wouldn't go in. “I broke my promise.” He also takes Apo’s word very seriously in the mine when he tells Owen he didn’t pull the lever. Also because of this he only trusts himself to go in the maze.
When the entrance is blocked off Owen is quick to violence and threatens people if they try to get past him. After finding the old battle axe he starts using it to threaten and intimidate people. “Anyone who goes past this (the gate) i will attack”
“Anyone else that will, I will just cut down” are some of the things he says. He punches Mohwee for trying to get past him. When Oeca comes back after Mohwee’s disappearance, Owen follows him with that battle axe trying to talk.
Owen then goes on to say “I’m not looking for violence” and “I'm not collecting weapons this was instinctual (points at bow)” he doesn't want people to think he’s dangerous and he knows people are scared of him.
Even if he seems aggressive he still wants to protect others. Owen goes back in the maze to look for Mohwee after he randomly disappears on their way back. “My job is to protect people and I will do that to the best of my abilities. At every possible stage”
When Mohwee disappears Owen takes a massive risk to stay in the maze overnight to see if the gates would open. “The only thing I remember about my life Graecie, is that I was raised to protect people. That's all I remember. And I know it was dumb and stupid to go in the maze but if it got us a step closer to finding Mohwee. I was willing to make that risk”
So we’ve established that Owen cares about the people in the clearing even if he doesn't trust all of them, he wants to protect them and he will do it no matter what. It's the purpose he has given himself in order to be useful.
He knows it doesn’t work how he wants it to. People are scared and wary of Owen’s protection. There are multiple instances where he tells his voices, “They don’t get it,” because he knows people don’t trust his methods. His method of control is disliked by a lot of people.
Ori is one of the main characters to go against Owen. Owen hates this because not only does it risk the safety of others but it goes against his main purpose he gave himself. He takes this job very seriously. So when Ori goes in the maze it’s no wonder Owen becomes very violent.
“Ori I'm seriously sorry I will break your legs and I'm very close to it. Are you gonna make me. “
He doesn’t see himself to be super aggressive though “People think I'm being really aggressive when I talk like ‘oh hey if you come near me I'm gonna break your legs’ but I'm saying it in the most friendly way I can, you understand that right? I'm not trying to be aggressive with that”
“I'm saying like if you do step in here I will have to break your legs. In like a very gentle and I'm very sorry I hate to inconvenience you but I do have to break your legs.”
When Ori sneaks into the maze, Owen talks a lot about his purpose. Things like “Don't, I'll fail them. They'll kill me. My entire purpose here is to stay by this door and stop you from coming in.”
Owen hates to know he is failing the purpose he has given to himself “When I discovered I was a soldier that's what I set myself to (protecting others) but what do I have to show for myself? I have tried my hardest to protect these people. And get they look at me and tell me I'm a tyrant” “you're not in control, who are you to say what happens?”
He would do anything, even if it meant sacrificing himself. As shown before when Mohwee disappears but also as he protects the gate after the second lever gets pulled he says “I'm going to protect them if I die in the process so be it”
Another note before this section ends is that it’s not just Ori who opposes Owen. Sillvia also talks about Owen’s method of leadership.
Sillvia about Owen: Owen I think you would be great. If not for the fact that you have a militaristic mindset. I don't want to see your leadership spiral into a place where Apo wants. Owen I fear you and I want you to know that. I actually fear you and I don't say that about many people. And ruling should not be through fear. You are a terrifying individual and to see you be in a position of power would be a slope we cannot afford or gamble slipping down. We've seen you tussle with Ori. I know you're a strong individual. You could lead us quite well but it's the risk that comes with your leadership that I am not willing to risk.
The perception Owen has of himself differs from how he comes off. It becomes more of an issue later but we can already see this happen.
So as clearing 2 is introduced this is what we know about Owen. He was a soldier once, he wanted to protect people in the clearing even if it meant sacrificing himself. He’s nice to others but his methods are still aggressive and violent, ready to hold a weapon to someone if needed and Owen cares a lot about trust.
With the introduction of clearing 2 we can see how Owen changes and develops. He’s very cautious of clearing 2 members because for all he knows they could have led the creature that destroyed half their clearing in on purpose.
Owen also faces betrayal from Apo. We know trust is something Owen values a lot. It’s mentioned in the early days, and it’s a major part of why he feels so strongly about Apo lying. During the scene where Owen faces Apo after finding he pulled the lever that killed the second clearing, his main issue with Apo isn’t the fact that he killed people. It was the fact he lied to him.
“You lied to me. Why did you do it? No no no I don't care about the lever. Apo why did you lie to me? You're my friend I trusted you. I stayed there. I held your back when oeca said it was you. I put my name on the line. Because we stood together in the mine and I asked you to swear to my face that you didn't do it. And you lied to me. Im meant to be your friend and you lied.”
You can also see what Owen values in a person when they discuss Apo’s punishment and Owen says there's 3 main things he did
- went into maze without group consent
- pulled the lever
- he lied
Owen only adds on at the end that he left Squidney.
With all of this too we see Owen for the first time back away from the job he gave himself. He backs away from leadership, we start to see how tired Owen is from the stress of it all. His reasoning has to do with his trust being broken.
“What's the point they're all liars. This entire place is filled with filthy liars. Every single person. All I've ever done is tried to protect them”
“Forget it. I'm done. I'm don't helping people. No I'm not villain, I'm not a hero I'm nothing.
From now on there is no leader of the maze. They put me in charge. My word means nothing to them I'm done.”
“How am I meant to protect them when I try and stop them with physical force im made out to be some kind of monster. When I try to reason with them I'm made out to be soft.”
Owen being viewed as soft has always been something he’s aware of. People tend to think because he’s kind that they can do whatever they want (sneak into the maze etc) and this perception Owen is a soft person develops. Even if he’s emotional and kind we’ve seen before in early maze days he is not soft.
Owen tries to ignore all his problems but with it he grows more aggressive than before. His tone changes when he speaks about other people to his voices.
“To visit him would be to acknowledge he exists. And right now the last thing I want to do is consider the fact that this thing lives and breathes and eats and sleeps under my feet. The sooner he wastes away and fades into nothingness the better. I don't see a life going forward with him in it” - Owen about Apo
“The more I look around these stupid 4 walls the more I'm reminded that he that. That I trusted him.”
"he's everywhere. It's like a disease. Like it festers. The outside looks fine and you look just below the surface and it's rotting vile and it's him”
Apo: Just give me a chance.
Owen: why should I? So you can have another tick to the long list of times Owen has naively believed there is some good in the people that infests this clearing? Oeca, mohwee, Bekyamon, Magic, Graecie, Ori, you, liars. All of you.
I’m not just putting quotes here just for you to see oh trust is important! But more so for you to see that Owen changes when his trust has been broken or when he sees someone as a threat. Some of these things sound very similar to what Owen would say when he gets his memories back. Because to Owen trust and protection are 2 very important values. When that is broken he can’t be certain someone isn’t a threat.
With this change Owen does become more aware he isn’t the most approachable person due to his methods. I do want to bring up this quote first though
"Can I kill someone? Ive been thinking about this recently I say I'm a soldier. But I've never actually killed anyone. All my life in these 4 walls I've spoken about security and fighting and I can't remember a time I've actually taken someone's life. What if I have to. What if it comes to that I don't think I could stomach it either. I doesn't feel like me. It's not me it's not who I am. No I can't. I'll only attack this person if they do something first. And even then I'll just aim to incapacitate" - Owen about Ash
This is an interesting quote from Owen knowing his later actions but it’s not that out of character. If we look at every flashback he’s had so far we can see the life of a soldier is not one he’s always wanted.
Owen to his dad: What if I'm not ready to be your protector? No It's what you've always wanted! What if I wanted to do something else? What if I don't want to be a soldier what about me when do I get to look out for myself.
However he is always ready to attack if he needs to, if it comes to it he would do anything to protect someone. I think that means to kill even if Owen doesn’t think so at this point.
His notebook btw
Another note about his behavior is that because of how others view him he almost dies from the creature’s venom. Ayngel even said before Owen is more angry. Other people even though it sounds jokingly say Owen gets grumpy when people disrupt him, leading to no one but Soup to check up on him when he gets stung.
When Bek comes back he doesn’t hesitate to do the things he did before. He does what he thinks is right and protects Magic by aiming a javelin at Bek. He says he’s not violent but anytime he feels like he’s in danger he pulls out a weapon. He did it when he was in Soup’s basement, he does it anytime he hears about someone potetially harming Rasbi, and he did it when he heard Oeca attacked Graecie.
Owen in general is a fighter at heart. Even if he says he doesn’t want to kill anyone he is still ready to attack.
Owen: this isn't you Ori. You fight. That's what you do.
Ori: what are you talking about?
Owen: you fight people. When you don't get your way you fight. You and I are the same
At the end of this section, the group decides not to go back in the maze. They had lost Squidney, Oeca, Mohwee, with the presumption that Red, Apo and Graecie were either dead or dying. Owen is tired of it all “Every Time I've tried to protect someone they've ended dead Kyle” he tries to hope but he is so tired. This tiredness also explains some things that happen when he gets his memory back.
So to summarise before looking at Owen when he gets his memories back, this is what we know about Owen. He wants to protect his friends, he believes in trust a lot, he is both seen as more aggressive and angry these days and soft at the same time, he wants to be a good leader but other people don’t listen. Not much has changed since the early maze days, but it’s a more solid character now.
When the reunion comes around Owen in the story has finally had a moment to think about everything that happened between him and Apo. His main regret in the series was how he treated him even if he broke his trust.
Owen loves to contradict himself a lot but it’s a very human trait he has. He has complex feelings about Apo, and Beks and a lot of people. Yet he’ll still offer his protection to them. It’s because of this the ‘sudden’ shift in personality he has becomes very shocking to the audience.
Since right before he sees Apo, Owen is very emotional here. Very similar to how he was in the early maze days. It’s out of his character to hope for something like seeing Apo because he knows it’s very unlikely he’ll see him again. However he gives himself this hope, one more chance.
When Owen regains his memories the tone shift is obvious. He acts less emotional, he seems more mature. But we do need to consider this is someone who just had a lifetime of memories shoved back in his head and his core values are so strong that Owen doesn’t hesitate to act the way he used to.
There’s lots of similarities to Owen here to the one we’ve known. Like his purpose. He sets one for himself immediately after arriving in the clearing. Even as he talks to Apo about his past he talks about his purpose
“I had a purpose once. I was useful, vital, adored. And suddenly everything changed. The world grew tired of blood shed. When all you're good for is violence, when you've been breed into a killing machine, a nation of peace will toss you aside like a spent torch”
There’s an obvious difference here right? The man we’ve watched in the maze who wanted to protect his friends just killed his best friend. This is definitely a different person right? Yes and no. Owen hasn’t changed that much, and I'll explain why after we go through some more things. But it’s important to note that this isn’t a completely new person, this isn’t something that is unexpected when we go through the information we already have about Owen.
“I know what you are, you are everything wrong in the world has to offer. You are the amalgamation of all the gluttony and lust of humans with the evil and cunning of demons. You stand as a testament to everything vile. You are a disease on the face of this earth and I am it's curse”
Apo: this isn't you you've changed
Owen: incorrect, this is me. The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive.
Owen wants protection for his friends. He goes to extreme lengths to keep people safe, so when he remembers demons as this evil creature that will hurt people for their own gain he wasn’t going to stand around and do nothing right?
Surprising or not this is very in character for Owen if we look at everything else we have from the series. To him, he is still doing his job, the one he’s done since day 1 in the clearing. Just now the threat isn’t just the maze and the occasional person, it’s demons.
The way Owen became a demon hunter is essential too. He used to live in comfort, and based on past flashbacks he was training to be a soldier even if he didn’t fully enjoy it. His mother was a poet and his father was a general. He had grown up hearing all about how terrible demons are, and he didn’t understand until his village had been burned down.
One negative interaction with demons had put this deep hatred in his heart for them. Before his memories returned he was ready to forgive Apo, he knew he wasn’t as dangerous as he made him out to be. But when the sudden influx of memory comes, he has this past knowledge that Apo is a threat.
Since Apo had hurt Owen before this only adds to it. Remember Owen really values trust. Apo has broken that trust in the past, so everything combined and letting go of the final restriction it’s no wonder he kills Apo.
Despite this ‘massive personality change’ Owen has, when he returns to the clearing he still makes sure Magic is safe. He doesn't tell people about the lava rising so he wouldn’t cause panic. He still cares about these people.
But Owen starts to view all the demons as a threat, every demon in the clearing has done something to suggest they could be dangerous. The reason Owen kills Guts is because they poisoned the food at the feast, which led to Magic being poisoned. He carries out this duty for protection
I think another thing people tend to forget about Owen is that he's been slowly breaking apart trying to fit what others want from him as seen in the last section. And it took a major toll on him. His outburst at Magic is one of the ways shown to us how much stress he’s been under. Perhaps even guilt he’s been feeling.
Magic: if you don't you're just putting everyone danger by not leading us… in there…
Owen: danger? You want to talk about putting others in danger? All of this coming from who exactly? The woman who's clearing burnt down under her leadership? The woman who lied about that previous position of leadership as she lacked the spine to correct her friend when she lied? The woman who was tied up and left for dead by that same friend? The woman who swore to protect a stranger only to them shot down in front of her? What the woman who stood still as her friend was ripped apart beside her? Oh yeah the magnitude of your failures Magic is deafening. Do you hear it? When you fall asleep at night, do you hear the screams of the dead who's blood stain your hands? How do you cope? When you find out be a good friend and let me know would you? Been looking for a way to shut them up.
Owen does try to justify his actions to his voices even if they don’t listen. He knows people here aren’t good. He’s known this since clearing 2 was introduced, but with his memories back he feels like he has to carry on this duty by killing the threat. That’s the only way to keep people in the clearing safe right?
Owen to voices: have you stopped to think why I'm doing this? You seem so attached to these creatures, why? What good have they done? These people aren't good people. None of us good people. We're all in here for a reason. Just because you haven't taken your rose tinted glasses off to see that doesn't mean the rest of us haven't.
Like before he won’t let anything stop him, even if it means hurting a few people. He doesn't hesitate to pull out a weapon when he hears Ayngel might know him. He can’t risk anything ruining his plans because he can’t afford to. He’s so tired. I think at this point anyone that was a major threat to him he would kill.
Ayngel: I feel like I recognise you. You and your face from somewhere
Owen: oh? (Starts to pull out knife from his bag)
Ayngel: I've been having this thought and it's got me thinking (Owen pulls out a knife in case)
Ayngel: actually, honestly forget it. It's all a dream and I'm overthinking
The only exception to his thinking is Rasbi. Rasbi actually hasn’t done anything wrong to him personally. She’s one of the few people that didn’t break his trust but he still kills her. Why?
First off he doesn’t see her as the friend he wanted to protect but instead as something he protected only to kill in the end to fulfil his duty. Her sister is the reason why he ended up in the maze, so even without Rasbi directly harming Owen in any way it’s enough for Owen to kill her. I’m sure any small mistake or detail would have led Owen to killing any demon, because it only proves his thinking.
Owen barely survives after Rasbi attacks him. So as Owen starts planning how to kill Krow he starts going a bit insane. His room is a mess, his mind is a mess and he can barely stand it anymore. We really start to see him fall apart here
Owen: this yolk is a burden is a burden I can't carry for much longer. I'm tired. I want to rest. But I took a pact, I made a promise. A glorious death is his for who his country falls and either I or they thing will have to die before I stop.
Something that’s brought up when discussing the idea of ‘Maze Owen’ is the fact that we can see ‘glimpses’ of him in different interactions. For example when Owen and Krow go out into the maze and Owen spots Puddy he makes sure Puddy doesn’t die by keeping him away. Even if he’s aggressive in the scene the fandom interpretation is the care he has for Puddy as ‘Maze Owen’ slipped through. But It’s not out of character for him to still show care for people after his memories are returned based on everything we’ve seen.
Before ‘killing’ off Krow, Owen does say this “There's no escaping who you are” Which is really interesting since most characters he’s interacted with will tell him in the maze you can escape who you used to be. Owen knows for a fact no matter what he does in life now he will never have anything outside the maze. Because the world doesn’t need him anymore. He kills the demons as his final act of service to the world because he has nothing else to offer.
When Krow finally comes back and Owen gets hit in the head he says to the rest of the group “I was protecting you all.” and “You don't know what they're like! You haven't seen the outside world.”
Looking at his final moments we see that everyone that Owen has cared about doesn’t trust him anymore. They don’t believe his protection was needed. He’s told that he will not get out of this cell. He’s left alone in the silence of the cell. Finally with the time to think. He starts experiencing multiple flashbacks and it makes it hard for him to think.
We’ve seen in the past how Owen deals with multiple flashbacks. It gives him a headache or causes him pain in some cases. He also becomes really emotional afterwards. This follows the same case. Except he starts to realize some things.
Krow: I know those eyes. That glint of desperation for approval but knowing it's never coming. We're more similar than you let yourself believe you and I
(Flash back ‘i was an archer.?’ ‘i was a hunter?’ I was a soldier)
“I was a tool. Used.”
He knows he’s going to die soon and he starts to panic. The most important line he says is
“So what now? This is it!? I deserve to die in battle. I killed them. It was what I. Its just what I was meant to do. I was trained. Should i have? I should have. I should have. I can't think inside my head, it's split in two”
“So what voices? What was I before then huh? Was that me? Is that who people trust? People trust that one. Old Owen. Yes? It wasn't me. That wasn't me” flashback about Apo first coming up
“I can't think. I can't. They trusted him. They trusted him but not me? My head…”
After this he pleads with Magic to let him out. Owen claims “I hurt them, I hurt my friends. Rasbi, Guts. And Apo, Krow I don't know why I did those things” He pleads and cries. And he's desperate
Owen: “No magic it's me please.”
Magic: “You kill people owen”
Owen: “It wasn't me I'm sorry. I just wanted to keep people safe.”
Owen: “Magic please don't go… no… magic. You can't do this.”
Magic: “I can and I am”
I think when we look at these final clips there’s a very important thing happening. Owen is separating himself from the past. He can’t understand why his friends don’t trust him. Even though nothing has changed. To him his eyes have been opened to the dangers of demons and he fulfilled his purpose.
Why does this separation even happen? This is where we move to the final part of this long analysis and look at theories. There’s no way I can say for sure this is right or this is wrong. I can only tell you what I think based on the material already there.
So before I go into this I have to emphasize I am not saying you can't refer to earlier Owen as maze Owen to explain Owen at different periods of his life. I'm saying when we really look at it, maze Owen doesn't exist since they're the same person.
So what am I talking about? The concept of ‘maze’ Owen has been around for a long time. Even ccOwen talks about his character like that. The idea that just because Owen didn’t have his memories that he was some sweet, soft guy that needs to be babied is something that affects a lot on how you view him as a character.
'maze' Owen doesn't actually exist because it's a way that Owen has come up with to justify to himself how he could have cared for demons without shattering his ideals. This is confused with Owen have distinct personalities and missing how he hasn't strayed from his ideals since the start with his idea of protecting everyone.
To separate that period of Owen's life in the maze ignores the fact that the characteristics you see in Owen post reunion are the same from before but taken to the extreme.
He's always been capable of ‘evil’'. It's the same as every other character in the series. We don't separate them like we do with Owen. Every character in the series is inherently morally gray, they do things out of desperation to survive. You can never say someone is 100% good or bad.
Owen’s same mindset of 'I need to protect the people I care about because they're in danger now' carries through. After the reunion in his head demons are no longer part of that group he wants to protect.
The separation of 'maze' and post reunion Owen forgets even in the post memory phase he had the ability to love like 'maze' Owen had. He released Puddy, he started a small farm, he started to relax. It's all part of him.
In his final moments he says a few important things to note. The first being "I was a tool. I was trained. Should I have... I should have." And then right after "I can't think in my head it's split in two"
It seems some take this as 'maze' Owen coming back and fighting with Owen on should he have killed Apo and the others. However rather than 'maze' Owen coming back i think it's this internal conflict he has with himself and his ideals.
Before he says this he's getting flashbacks to the early maze days where he showed kindness to demons. Something he would never let himself do in the past outside the maze. And something he would never do after he remembers it all.
Then he says to the voices "Is that who people trust? Old Owen" while those memories are playing. The voices respond saying they miss that Owen and he replies "Yes? That wasn't me" this is possibly where it further adds to the whole 'maze' Owen is a different person thing.
Rather than facing the fact that his thinking doesn’t make sense anymore he separates himself from those memories. As soon as Owen accepts that demons are not these creatures that betray and kill you at any moment, his life has no purpose.
Owen’s thinking comes from the manipulation and propaganda he's been fed. In his final episode we get these quotes which show just how much his thinking revolves around protection and also showing what years of training did to him.
He understands he was a tool that was used. He's well aware everything he is doing may not have a purpose and yet he still plays this part. He can't break away from that thinking because if he lets himself, Owen has to face the fact that his whole life had no true meaning.
That is a terrifying thing to do. He has been in this environment for so long you can’t just take him out of it.
Going over everything you can access in Owen’s pov, we know that before gaining his memories Owen is a person that cares deeply about his friends, he risks himself to protect them, he won’t hesitate to hold a weapon against someone he sees as a threat. Owen thinks trust is an important value to have, he takes it very seriously. But we also know that not everyone likes Owen and his leadership. He’s seen with a military mindset, people don’t want to upset him and it nearly costs his life.
Now let’s compare that with the Owen we get to know after his memories return. He wants to protect the people he deeply cares about, he risks himself to protect them, he doesn’t hesitate to hold a weapon against someone that he sees as a threat, only now the threat is demons. When we start looking at these differences, yes, Owen when he regains his memories is different, his tone changes, he murders people. But those core values we’ve seen throughout the series stay with him.
It’s one of the reasons why Owen can’t understand why no one in the clearing is on his side. He protected them against the threat they didn't know about. That is his purpose, and that’s what he’s good for. Remember right at the beginning of the series Owen sets his purpose to protect these people, now this is still the same. He views demons as a threat because he hasn’t had good experiences with them. Even if Apo became his friend in the clearing, Apo ends up lying to Owen, and betraying his trust. Guts became his friend but Guts tried to poison Magic. Owen has never fully trusted Krow and that distrust only furthers once he knows what Krow is capable of based on his experiences with demons.
So let’s go back to the previous question: who was it there? You’re probably thinking well how do you explain maze Owen and the chips. ccOwen has mentioned before that it's a possibility for the chips to alter memories. Maybe Starr suppressed those memories and maze Owen was there again. Or he was hit hard on the head right? Maybe his chip was damaged and it altered his emotions and memory.
There is too little known information to us as an audience about the chips in their head. We know they can supposedly make the outsiders lose track of time, alter their memories, their emotions and change how they act. But if the chips in their head is the explanation for everything then why does Owen remember killing his friends when he talks to Magic? He says it like he wasn't the one doing it, like he watched someone else do it. How do you explain his behaviour then? If the damaged chip really made him act like that then why do flashbacks still occur when he's in prison? He seems to have no control over those, so the chip must still work fine?
I think when we look at his character the maze has already changed him whether he likes it or not. There’s more doubt in him than before. He lets Apo go with extra time. He hesitated before he ran after him. No matter how small, he has changed.
But when Owen talks about himself in the past he makes this separation. The voices in his head won't stop calling for the guy they used to know, even though he's right here. I think Owen doesn't even want to acknowledge at one point he was friends with the demons he hated so much.
In that prison cell all his ideals and values are facing him. Everything he's done and he's known has been a lie. I think he knows this but can't bring himself to acknowledge that. Would you admit what you thought for your entire life was wrong? That you killed countless for nothing?
When faced with death Owen becomes desperate. Which I think explains his behaviour with Magic. That is his last hope and he knows people like the older version of him. I don't think he's fully lying though when he says i don't know why I did those things. Not because maze Owen came back or anything but because in the maze he no longer has this duty but he still carries it out. He's so tired from it all and he wants to leave it behind but he can't.
So let's go over his death scene one more time. “My head it's split in two” I think the explanation for this is that he was just hit with a bunch of flashbacks of his first days. Right before this he also says ‘I was a tool. Used’ I believe in his final moments where he has a moment to think he starts to fight himself. Should he have done all this for a country that throws him away the second he's useless? He was trained to do this. But should he have really? That's what I think is making him say my head it's split in two. He's fighting his own views and alongside these positive memories it makes him confused. And overwhelmed.
It's important to note Owen doesn't have a single bad flashback about Apo and Rasbi. He doesn't think about the levers, he thinks about his friends that he met. That he protected.
The more flashbacks he gets the more defensive he becomes. “I'm right here you can't convince me otherwise” He doesn't understand why the Owen in his memories is trusted so much, even though they're the same person. In his mind he's doing what he's always done. protect.
“It wasn't me I'm sorry I just wanted to keep people safe” everything he says to Magic is half genuine and half lie. I don't think even Owen knows which parts are which. It's easier if he separates himself into the nice trusted Owen and who he is now.
No matter what in the end, that was Owen. Not Maze Owen but Owen who is desperate to live. He's tired of it all. He's finished his mission and he won't even get to see what he thinks will be an honorable ending for him.
Remember what Owen says to Apo? "The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive."
So of course he'll do anything to survive even if it means playing up the truth.
It's hard to separate Owen into these neat boxes and say for sure that was Maze Owen at the end or that was full manipulation. Because like Owen everything is a bit grey here. Maze Owen wasn't the best person, he hurt his friends, people were scared of him. And post memories Owen isn't some misunderstood guy that needs babying either.
My final thoughts on this debate is that in the end the one that pleads for his life is just Owen. To separate him and say it was Maze Owen doesn't allow you to understand how complex Owen is as a character. And continues to let you believe that Owen can't do anything wrong. Not understanding sometimes a good person is capable of this evil. To the end Owen still believed he was doing what was right and that was protecting the ones he cared about. So has anything really changed since the start?
#zara rambles#outsiders smp#outsiders smp spoilers#owengejuicetv#okay if you read this whole thing just know this was about 6k words sjdfhsd#i spent a looooong time writing this mainly cause i started in july got busy with school and continued it last week. along with rewatching#owens pov to get everything here. the original document with all my notes is like 12k long because cOwen looooves to talk#i'm open to other people's opinions obviously like i said i could be wrong but this is just how i see it based on the episodes we have on y#it's kinda unfair to expect people to know random knowledge buried deep in some 4 hour vod from 2 years ago so everything here is from yt#with the exception that one fighting cOri quote since Owen deleted that section from his yt series. but it was originally there#idk what else to say really. i'm not the biggest fan of the whole 'maze' owen thing as you can tell by this and many other posts of mine#i think its fine to call him that but you gotta understand there aren't actually 2 different people. thats the tldr#anyway ty for reading wish me luck when i post this on twitter#oh sorry for no videos tumblr hates those so you guys only got the quotes 😔 still the same stuff though so it doesn't really matter sjdjdj
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telling myself to continue on like normal and write like normal but how am i supposed to do that when i know my world is ending in 24 hours?
tw for tags: i accidentally rambled on and aired out all my grief for my dog
#ive known since the moment we got the cancer diagnosis id be losing him#it doesnt make it easier#tw pet loss#ive experienced a dog dying unexpectedly and now a planned death#i have decided there is no death thats easy. you'll always wish it went the other way.#in 24 hours ill be loading him into my car one last time#ill be joking about how heavy he is as i lift my 'heavy baby' into the backseat#i'll be babytalking him the entire drive and nearly dislocating my arm just to pet him at the red lights for the last time#i bought him reese's peanut butter cups. because he loves peanut butter and deserves to taste chocolate before he goes#i got him all his favorite treats. been feeding him all the meals he'd beg for that id say 'dogs cant have'#i just. this is hard. im losing my baby. my best friend.#the 'aggressive' boy no one wanted for 2 years until i came upon him and said 'hes coming home with me'#people keep telling me i dont have to be in the room when it happens but how could i do that?#how could i leave him alone this last time (arguably the most important time) when the day i brought him home#i made the promise that he'd never be alone again?#how could i do that when every time hes sick he wants me near him? puts his head in my lap?#how could i when during my roughest times he protected me so fiercely?#the only time he's been anything but a gentle giant has always been when he protects me#how could i not protect HIM one last time?#im sorry. im in my feels. this fucking sucks.
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 comics#tf2 comic 7#the days have worn away#snatch says shit#holy shit man#OKAY.#SO.#I'm a little too crazy about Spy to say anything further#But I love the contrast between the mercs and Administrator#She lived for God knows how long#Doesn't even remember what Zepheniah did to her#But she never let it go. Never dropped that grudge.#Not even when she was reduced to ashes#Never#But the mercs? noohoho They don't care.#Same with saxton hale#They got to live their lives#Its not much but I adore that part specifically#Thats all...#God.#That last line from Sax was peak though...
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god damn i do not post often but can i talk about intentionality for a second?? one second please
i'm gonna be talking about bg3 but this really applies to any fandom space. people will, surface-level, agree that a Black character is not getting enough content compared to their white counterparts because it's. obvious . take wyll, who is several hours behind on voiced lines compared to other origins despite being one of the original five (before they added karlach and whiteified her too but that's another post). it's hard to deny cold hard facts
but then instead of engaging in content that uplifts Black characters and creators, they'll go right back to pumping out more and more content of just their white faves. on its own, it's not actively harmful, but here's what the implication is, whether they acknowledge it or not: yes wyll has less in-game content, yes his writing didn't get the attention it deserved, therefore i don't like him as much. it only perpetuates wyll's lack of content by contributing to his sidelining in fandom spaces
what i would love for fans who claim to be allies to do is to step out of the comfort zone of their initial favorites (which can, in fact, be biased!) and start pursuing content centering Black characters with intentionality. like all things, anti-racism (actively pushing back against racism rather than simply "Not Being Racist") takes practice and effort. you can't really agree with us that wyll needs more content, then in the same breath say that it's because of that that he's not interesting to you . the point was right in front of you doing a jig and you still missed it
#bg3#wyll#wyll ravengard#this isnt even including people who didnt notice that wyll had less content in the first place#which is. a very damning admission. so you werent paying Any attention to him...? at all....? its obvious even on a first playthrough tf#i had to physically stop myself from saying specific white boy names in the main post bc i knew it would just be fanning the flames#and thats not productive. as much as i hate to admit it.#anyway we all know why halsin is so much more popular than wyll. the white man with as much personality as a cardboard cutout#ITS HARD TO APPRECIATE HIM WHEN HES 1) boring and 2) part of the reason wyll got less content bc adding him meant less time for the others#if people start things in the replies im deleting this post if im being honest. this needed to be said but#i am not in the habit of arguing with strangers on the internet and i am not starting now#tyto speaks#man i didnt even mention how white side characters with maybe 5 min total of screentime get so much fan content .#while wyll a whole ORIGIN character gets left out of party art and either infantilized or villianized beyond the point of recognition
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vagueing but i think certain ppl need to realize that you can be both manipulative And traumatized 😭
#mine.txt#you can guilttrip someone While having abandonment issues!#in fact abandonment issues are the reason some ppl guilttrip in the first place!#if you claim you watched s4 while not understanding that then i dont think you understood s4 at all!#on god if you relate to ls!kab i hope you dont treat ppl irl the way she does zam#who gaf if shes good or evil were on fucking lifesteal#nobody cares about morality except the lsers themselves cause its got direct impact on their playthroughs#she can be as good as she wants but it doesnt change the fact she does a lot of things that are highly intrusive and manipulative#like she didnt even ask first before deciding theyre ''teamed by default''#and everytime she says she just wants zam to be himself she contradicts it#by getting mad at him everytime he doesnt do what she says even if he hasnt even harmed her in any tangible way#and thats just Two(2) of the more recent things shes done not even mentioning her past actions#that she keeps excusing while not excusing the past actions of others#she cant afford him the basic human decency of being his own person#and were supposed to believe she gives a fuck about him beyond using him as an echo chamber????#shes a lot like clown in that while she cares she keeps using her associates#and surprise! not everyone likes being used esp when she keeps flip-flopping on them#/lore obviously cause if she did this kind of unacceptable behaviour irl she wouldve gotten kicked out already#and i hope to God yall dont either#if you do i fucking hate you this is the kinda shit that traumatized me
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strong urge to write an Obey Me fic where MC figured out really fast human fascinate demons for many reasons and gets a Devilhub account. they're really popular on it really fast. but the thing is
they're just doing normal shit and chatting about what life is like in the human realm
and demons go wild for it
#obey me#obey me shall we date#fic idea#mc would say all the time not to tell the demon brothers#having no idea they all know within the first 2 weeks about it#thats the ongoing joke though#the demons know and mc doesn't#asmo thinks mc was a fucking genius#lucifer keeps an eye on mc to make sure it stays safe#levi finds out they're not a normie from a stream#mammon makes it his person mission to be a sugar baby without realizing#satan got mad when mc made their bed it was so inefficient#beel was kind of whatever until he found a cooking stream in the kitchen one day#that was some good fucking food#belphie still has a ddd for reasons#he hates this bitch ass human#less so as time goes on#no i dont take criticism#thank you
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with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk
#arcane#arcane spoilers#i could kinda deal with it act 1 bc there was a lot to cover through the fallout after s1. but act 2 i'm reallyyyyyy feeling it#like dont get me wrong it's still so so so good#and i guess that's what makes it so much more frustrating#like you can see all the ways it can be just that littlest bit even better#but i guess if the biggest complaint viewers have about your show is that they want more then that already says a lot you know#anyway#it's the warwick / isha plot that bugs me specifically bc isha (love her to death) feels lowkey like a cop out#introduce a kid just to heavy push the 'cycle of violence' 'find your humanity again' character arcs only to kill her six episodes later#like EVERYONE was saying 'ive never seen a character so obviously created to die'#the subversive thing would be to have her live and show the cycle of violence is ending or something#but here's another broken kid killed by the system here's more proof that jinx is. well. a jinx.#idk idk idk#and warwick. i wanted so much MORE#heavily build up warwick all through act 1 just to have him die end of act 2#we barely got to see him at full power.#we barely got to see him with vi and jinx.#we barely got to see him reckon with the man he was and the monster he is now.#we got next to nothing before he's just dead. again#and again those scenes hit SO GODDAMN HARD. THEY ARE GOOD. but they couldve hit even harder if they just had more time to flesh it out !!!!#but again again no act 3 yet so who goddamn knows at this point#they aint dead til we see the bodies and even then they might not be dead bc thats just how arcane works#but fuck i just wish we sometimes had time to sit and FEEL things before the next new thing starts#ok im done rambling i just had to say something somehwere because its driving me insane#my posts
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