#thats a lotta words

[bfdifan26]

mushy comic about leafy and announcer running into eachother in bfdia

[proshippers-against-censorship]

https://www.tumblr.com/proshippers-against-censorship/753562079700680704/i-have-a-lot-of-things-to-say-but-i-dont-want-to

Some clarifications since I guess I wasn’t very clear about a few things:

Thought crimes aren’t real not because a person’s thoughts don’t make them a bad person, but because we don’t always base what is and isn’t a crime on being a bad person. Cheating on your partner makes you a bad person, but it doesn’t make you a criminal in most cases. I’m not comparing cheating and “thought crimes” like I saw a few people say, I’m using it as an example of how our legal system isn’t based on morality and whether something is a crime or not can’t be used to determine good and bad.

I also saw someone speculating about whether my personal experiences with my PTSD and my intrusive thoughts were real, accusing me of appropriating mental health language. Thanks for that by the way guys, I love having my experiences questioned when they aren’t like yours. I’ve been going to therapy for this for a while now, and the things I described are exactly what my therapist told me to do.

I’ve never hurt myself before, and I don’t want to. There is no desire to act on the thoughts I have. Almost like they’re intrusive thoughts I don’t want. Which is ironic considering I’ve seen these exact same people make fun of antis for saying shit like “if your therapist is seriously recommending that, get a new therapist.” It’s always, other people don’t know any better than actual mental health professionals someone is actually speaking to, everyone’s healing journey is different and you don’t get to dictate how other people heal or what their experience is or is not, until it’s someone whose mental illnesses aren’t like yours. Then you know better than mental health professionals and you get to dictate if they’re “appropriating” language those mental health professionals have applied to them.

I have to do my showers in many small steps because I have to put down my razor and do something else so many goddamn times. It takes me hours. I have to stop not because I want to actually hurt myself, but because I cannot function with the thoughts for very long. The only way to get rid of the anxiety is to stop what I’m doing, do something else, then come back to it later. But I get it done eventually, and my therapist told me to keep doing exactly what I’m doing. I ignore the thoughts. I don’t try to get rid of the anxiety, because the anxiety isn’t the problem, the thought is.

.

[stuckinamok]

bruh i am almost at 100,000 words for my fic

that's crazy

[on1tea]

Cookie

It’s been exactly a year, and..I have so much to say to you, so many I love yous, so many praises, so many wishes. This year has been one of the best, and I want you to find what makes you happy, and have that all to yourself. You truly deserve to have what genuinely brings you joy. You could travel the world in a van, meet people and see things and be in nature, you’re free to do all of that and more. I know you can. I’m glad that we met, today a year ago, at 7:40pm. I’m glad we played that silly roblox obby, and that shooter game that lead me down a spiral to actually liking them, and liking you, I’m glad I got to be your player two, I'm glad we started talking on layers below the surface, I’m even grateful for trying to flirt with you once I had realized I liked you more than a friend would, only for you to be, well..you, your perfect oblivious self. I’m even grateful for the teases I had gotten at the time for not realizing it sooner. I'm glad I waited then, and fell even deeper in love, I'm glad I made my former blog, and then this one, and started writing things I could never tell you myself, I'm grateful that when I did let you in, you accepted me, and of course, I accepted you, I always will.

I’m grateful to have gone to get hotpot with you, and boba, and walked into a store only for us to speed walk out and act like it never happened, I got to lock arms with you, hold you, look into your eyes, see your smile and hear your laugh, meet your mom for a second even if I was nervous as all hell, I love thinking back to when we were in vrchat and you called me yours while we went around trolling people, how you still included me when someone you knew joined, I got to fall even deeper than I thought I could, memorizing your habits, your likes and dislikes, the sides of you not a lot if people get to see, your expressions and tendencies, trying to make you laugh just for the sake of hearing you belt out the cutest, hardiest laugh I’ve ever heard, or the ones where we were breathless at the mic and barely able to continue the joke, I got to tell my family about you and even if I was teased about being so smitten by someone, I always held a proud smile on my face, I'm grateful for the risks you took just to see me, the patience and care you gave me, and even grateful to meet one of your friends, or as you'd call him your “good buddy”, and be held so close to you in the void desert, and kissed so softly, held so carefully in the backseat afterwards, and gush to each other afterwards until we couldn’t think straight, even if I may still be held in shock from the very first time you said you loved me, and when you came to give me cookies, m&m, your favorite kind..

I’m happy I got to experience you even in your softest, "Weakest", most adorable moments. and even if a decade from now isn’t guaranteed, I at least hope next year is, August 5th, at 7:40pm sharp, I hope these still bring a handsome, goofy smile to your face, I hope you���ll still be in my life, I hope you’ll still let me cherish you and handle your heart and soul with care. I hope one day I can handwrite letters dripped with wax to write down lists and lists of why I love you, and see you in your moments of adorableness, that one day we can wear our bracelets together for the times when we may be apart, and keep our necklaces close without worry. I hope whatever happens in the future, we can go through it together. Until then, whether its next year or tomorrow, I love you, my tomato, my cookie, my yan, and one day, my man. Abwa.

[freohrweohnatakausta]

oh...

[hfjonewiki]

adam rejoining twt and then immediately dropping whatever the fuck this is. i hate everyone who works on this show so much

[nerves-nebula]

always remember to take white ppls opinion on ur gender with 10000 grains of salt. they Do Not Know, even if they're tryna be nice

[petz5]

me: opens twitter

someone on my art: you headcanoning ranma as a trans girl when he HATES being a girl is basically the exact same as purposely misgendering trans men because you see them as women

me: blocks them and closes twitter

[satsuha]

healers

[orngbanana]

ooo fengs ask you wanna talk about the fengs so bad oo

yes tumblr user possessable anything for you tumblr user possessable

these are so scrambled my god

the fengs, the fengs, i love the fengs an unhealthy amount, you give me any kind of codependent relationship in media and i'll gobble it up but codependent siblings just hit different esp twins

nuwa, nuwa, nuwa, poor, fucked up nuwa, as a younger sibling myself i relate to the feeling of not wanting to let go of your older sibling in any circumstance but MAN does she take it all the way

you could say that keeping your brother’s corpse “alive” and animated is an unhealthy way to deal with grief but omg who cares omg who careeersss?? (nuwa does)

as long as he's still with her nothing else matters, after all, he's still moving, even if it's wrong and his body isn't holding itself up right, he's still talking, even if it's barely discernible or hard for others to hear it; with those two things in mind he's basically all well and healthy! right?

i desperately want to know more about their life and thoughts before the main plot, we can get glimpses of it–the whole theater and opera love they had, nuwa has her feet binded so she cant walk at all, either hovering on that seat she has or sitting on fuxi’s lap; maybe he carried her most of the time before she got the former

we can assume nuwa’s a spoiled person, comes with being rich as all fuck, but with her feet being Like That i don't think she wasn't a victim of the beauty standards that we know of and whenever we see her in both of their memories she's not doing much but sitting and enjoying any moment she has with her brother, not doing any clan duties apart from organizing banquets so maybe she wasn't planned to have a busy future at all

she relies on fuxi for most of her decisions, she looks up to him a big amount, and in turn fuxi coddles her maybe a bit TOO much, telling her to not mind the diseased civilians they encounter–it's not their fault that they got sick and it's certainly not nuwa’s or his fault that it happened, so she can look away and not think about it, he'll make sure her worries are as minimal as possible

but wow what happens when he becomes one of the diseased? will she look away from that too? fuxi was basically as good as gone by the time they arrived in New Kunlun, so what was left for nuwa then? i don't think she was well versed in politics, so how would she lead without her brother? luckily she won't have to think about that either–eigong’s here to save the day!!

so her brother’s all well and dandy now and they can go back to their usual dynamic, yippee!!

i wonder if fuxi could actually form words even in his state, it's said he grunted out sounds but nuwa seemed to understand him just fine; that is if his talking isn't just one of her many delusions she leans onto so she doesn't have to acknowledge that he's rotting

with that said i have a lot of fuxi thoughts even if his actual self isn't seen much, he was raised to be his clan’s leader and loved theater, his profile said he was frivolous but responsible and i'm dying thinking about if his frivolous side is the one he showed nuwa the most, if he could be as relaxed as possible whenever he was with her and dutiful and stern when it came to his duties

obviously he was the more aware one of the situation with the virus and all and he still chose to shield her from that instead of bringing her attention to it so they could work on it together; it's clear that their relationship wasn't built on equality even if they loved e/o deeply–i could even self-indulgently compare it to an overprotective parent and their child who they think isn't qualified to deal with or think too much about the horrors around them so they simply drive their attention away from those things to keep their innocence in tact

and yet i still don't think he was as codependent with her as she was with him, maybe because he was so sure of her safety and well-being that he didn't feel like he had to crowd her with his presence, she has everything she could ever want in life, right? as long as she doesn't focus on the problems surrounding them and instead on the pleasures then he can be at ease

i will def ramble more later but im tired rn

[mayhemmies]

gonna be real man idk if jerking off to a fictional rapist has any impact on the morality of your soul or whatever the fuck but as a victim of rape i think it absolutely makes you a hugely insensitive cunt. Donate to RAINN and post online less.

HUGE YAP INCOMING. i love yapping about this stuff. special interest pretty much sorry. also apologies if my text and talking is all over the place, unorganized, or repeating!! kinda a brain thing but i wanna get this out /gen hi ! as another victim ! if you are not comfortable with that sort of stuff nobody is going to force you to indulge in that ! the internet is yours to curate and nobody is obligated to do that for you . anyways! just because someone is into that stuff (personally, i'm not too into it but i like the assumption LOL) does not mean they automatically sexualize actual victims/rapists and completely erase real cases and victims. in fact, a lot of the people that are into that sort of stuff are victims as well! being into that sort of stuff is pretty common when it comes to that sort of trauma, although not everyone copes or (just straight up ends up that way. It doesn't have to be a coping mechanism, it can still just be an attraction) processes things like that. A lot of people are also completely disgusted and triggered by that kind of stuff (which i'm assuming you are) and that is A-OKAY! it's okay to have boundaries bro!!

it's okay to both be into that stuff (as long as you don't go out hurting real people) (no, triggering someone on accident via a post doesn't count because nobody is responsible for the ways other people react to something. you can't predict that) and it's okay to absolutely hate it!! i think people should just be more understanding because . liking something does not mean you support the actions happening to real people, and it does not mean you don't care about real cases.

(also i've heard rumors about RAINN being queerphobic and sexist so. iffy about that but i do support donating to organizations that help victims so long as they're, you know, actually supportive of people!!! /gen and . will start posting more to spite you /lhj)

but seriously thanks for the infodump invitation . ^_^

[soloavengers]

syl’s thorne tattoo & the siblings are ready <3

[many-gay-magpies]

For the ask game thing! If they haven’t been asked yet I’m super curious about 8, 15, 20, 23 & 24 (you do NOT have to answer all of those I’m just like super nosey and also pester-y)

oh thank you, i love to yap and i am absolutely answering all of these kdbfjfbfn (answering most of the non-fandom-specific questions about dbda because. well yeah)

8: i hope more people will come to appreciate...

honestly there are a ton of people that appreciate crystal in this fandom, and i am very gratified by the amount of people and posts i see preaching that she needs more appreciation/understanding/love, but like. there will never be enough crystal appreciation in my opinion. and while a lot of people love her character just as much as i do, there are also people (mostly in fics) that treat her more as an afterthought/backdrop for the boys or don't seem to really like her for her actual canonical traits, so i absolutely want more people to appreciate the beautiful mess that is crystal palace. and hey theres a whole crystal appreciation week coming up so thats gonna rock!!

although on a non dbd note. SCOTT MCCALL. hes literally the main character of teen wolf and hes amazing please love him. also alan deaton, he rocks and he gets far too much hate

15: the character that always makes me smile

unless its something angsty, i smile so fucking stupid every time i see charles rowland and his stupid pretty face i swear. his smile and goofiness and HAPPINESS are utterly contagious and i love him so much

20: my very first fandom

it was probably my little pony jfbjfbfjf. i'm talking when i was like,, i dunno eight? i wrote a whole fanfic for it in the notes of my service-less basically-ipod-with-extra-features little phone and made cheesy nextgens and everything. and if it wasn't mlp then it was how to train your dragon for sure, i was obsessed with reading fics from the dragons' POVs where they found more night furies and stuff. also crossovers. i had a grand old time!

23: the fandom i'm curious about because of a mutual

i can't think of any i'm interested because of a MUTUAL SPECIFICALLY, but god the amount of people putting that gay firefighter show on my dash has gotten me INTRIGUED. i actually went and tried to watch it but i couldn't and the intrigue has faded with my failure but its still there a little bit. also bridgerton, i've been seeing lots of bridgerton on the dash and it is tempting me. OH ALSO! i almost forgot, but interview with a vampire! and i actually did give into temptation with that one and watch the first episode while eating dinner a couple nights ago, it was absolutely amazing.

24: how has fandom positively impacted my life?

i think the biggest positive impact i've gotten from fandom is the sheer volume of interactions ive had with other people, and the friends i've gotten from that. like, i still have you from when i was mainly posting about teen wolf, and i've made so many great connections in the dbd fandom, whether they're just people i've made an impression on with my art and writing or people i've formed full friendships with (shoutout to nimm @babyseraphim for being probably the best friend ive made in this fandom? i love how loving dbd enabled me to meet and connect with you over so much OTHER stuff we have in common).

i really just love being able to connect with so many people over common interests and opinions; i've gotten a lot more outgoing/confident lately, irl as well as online, and i feel like fandom is at least partially to thank for that. ❤️

[call-me-pup2]

Someone used the word 'plump' to compliment me, brb going to go die in a hole 💀

[callibones]

debated sending this or not, b/c we don't rlly know each other and i didn't want it to sound objectifying? but please do not stop tgirl tummy tuesday. not only is it a wonderful way to boost your self confidence. it is a little treat for your followers

FAR FROM IT!!! this made me go AWWW and my eyes lit up. thank you so much.... i was so anxious agajsgsjsg this makes me feel so much better about it :-] i will continue to give my followers lil treats as long as i feel comfortable doin so and im havin fun with it! and i sure am havin fun with it

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

its kinda funny how many of my interests happen to be like. "vintage" i guess so for an outsider death note kinda rly seems to stand out as like. fiction i enjoy an regularly reblog posts abt. like i like a lotta other anime an manga an dn is like an anime staple but its not even in the same catagory as any other anime like my brain puts all my interests in little folders and death note is in the same folder as columbo and red dragon. impossible for me to consider one without considering the other