#that's what's in savage sauce

[vampirecowboylover]

Bulk Bronson just came out! 💜🩷💙

[smoqueen]

do not even ask me what’s in the savage sauce

[natsarrownecklacx]

Big, Scary, Assassin Girlfriend

Yelena Belova x Reader

Word count- 989

Summery- Your girlfriend needs your love and comfort in a time of a little anxiety.

Warnings- Fluff, lots of fluff. Needle (for piercing) talks of anxiety

⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗

“Lena, we don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to.” You whisper to the blond, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

The Russian looks up at you through long blond lashes, a nervous smile on her face as she squeezes your hand back just as tight.

“No, Detka. I want to do this today- now- but I’m just…” She trails off, moving her line of sight away from you.

“Nervous?” You supply to her.

Yelena nods her head slowly in agreement, letting a unsure smile slide onto her face. The slight movement causes a strand of hair to fall loose from her ponytail and drifts to the front of her face.

Your hand moves on instinct to tuck the perpetrating strange of soft blond hair behind her ear. Your fingers drift along the curve of her cheek and along her jaw until your hand naturally cups her cheek. Yelena sighs and leans into your hand, nuzzling into it almost, absorbing all the comfort the action gives her.

“What if I hold your hand while you do it?” You ask, hoping you’ll be able to persuade her to go through with what she’s been wanting to do for weeks, get her septum pierced.

Yelena scrunches her browns in thought, her way of letting you know she’s considering your offer. “We can get mac and cheese afterwards too.” You tempt the russian, knowing full well mac and cheese is one of her weaknesses.

Yelena unfurrows her brows at your offer, an excited smile sliding its way onto her face instead. “With hot sauce?” She asks, a child-like excitement present in her voice.

“Of course there will be hot sauce, Lena. We’re not savages.” You joke, earning a giggle from the blond.

Unfortunately her happy attitude doesn’t stay long, a nervous look infiltrating her eyes once again. “Hey.” You say, nudging her in the shoulder. “I’m going to be right next to you the whole time. I won’t go anywhere okay?”

Yelena smiles at you again, taking a second to steal herself. She takes one big inhale of air. You watch as her shoulders lift slightly with the expansion of her lungs.

“I’m ready.” She says, turning to the piercer who has been patiently waiting for her to come to a resolute decision, for about half an hour now.

“Perfect.” She piercer answers, doing a good job of keeping the relief from playing plainly on her face.

You both watch as the piercer walks toward you both where you sit side by side on a piercing table. When the piercer stands in front of yelena, needle in hand, your girlfriend grabs your hand and holds it tightly in her grasp.

You squeeze her hand three times in your hold, using your secret code to tell the blond that you love her. Not even two whole seconds pass before she sends the same message back to you.

The piercer takes out a clamp and explains to you both how the piercing will happen, about the healing process and when yelena can change out her jewelry. As she’s doing this she takes out a clamp and secures it on Yelena’s septum line.

“You ready?” She asks, lining the needle up to where she needs it to be.

The Russian squeezes your hand tightly in her hold before quietly voicing her readiness. She closes her eyes tightly, hoping that it will protect her from the pinch she knows she’ll soon feel.

“All done.” The piercer announces, this time not doing as good of a job in hiding her relief at being able to move onto another client.

“You did great.” She informs the assassin, moving to take off her gloves and throw them in the bin. “If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate to call us or drop in and I’ll be happy to talk with you.” She says, smiling before she walks towards the exit.

“Thank you!!” The blond calls out after her. Then turns to you with so much excitement. “Detka, look!! I did it!!”

You can’t help but smile at your girlfriend, the beaming smile on her face causing your heart to melt. She’s just so adorable. “I know, Baby. I’m so proud of you.” You respond, making sure your voice betrays at least half as much excitement as your girlfriends.

You hop up from the table, moving to stand between your girlfriend's legs. Taking her face in between your hands you lean forward to place a kiss on her forehead, then both her cheeks and then finally your lips land on hers.

You pour as much love and reassurance into the kiss as your body can physically manage. Yelena melts into the kiss, a soft hum of appreciation resounding in her throat as her eyes languidly slide shut.

You continue to kiss her soft and slow, being cautious of her new piercing, for a few seconds, before you pull away. A smirk slides onto your face when yelena tries to chase your lips, a quiet sound of protest passing her lips.

“My big, strong and scary assassin girlfriend.” You begin, Yelena’s eyes opening when she hears the teasing tone in your voice. “Scared of needles?” You fake surprise, loving the way your teasing taints her usually pale cheeks pink.

“Detkaaaaa.” She groans, resting her head against your chest in embarrassment. “You promised not to tease.” She pouts, resisting the urge to push you away when she hears you laugh softly.

“Plus I already told you. I’m not afraid of needles, I have a lot of piercings already. I’ve just never had a facial piercing before and I got nervous.”

Seeing a rare bit of vulnerability from the blond pulls on your heart strings, causing you to lean in and place another soft kiss against the crown of her head.

“I know, honey. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. Now how about that Mac and cheese?”

⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗<3 ⧗

A/n- I don’t usually write Yelena in a romantic way but @yelenasdiary inspired me with her Florence Pugh month so I decided to give it a try. Also I wrote this really fast when I got the idea so pls ignore any mistakes.

[atopvisenyashill]

why do you think jonsa is happening tho? jonerys is different bc they are going to be enemies, but i don’t see what jonsa does for the story

so let me first lay out roughly what i think is going to happen should jonsa become canon. I personally love going down meta and graphic spirals, so I'm including links to other people’s theories/explanations/graphics of events too - also I would like to shout out @istumpysk because half these metas and gifsets were stuff I found on their blog initially, and also was the one who really convinced me that jonsa is less of a crackship and more of a contender for an actual canon theory, and from there i really found my niche in this fandom. specifically this meta about jon being the mummer's dragon is what pulled me out of my "we're never getting twow and if we do it's just gonna be that stupid dany has jon's magical baby while tyrion watches, then they all die theory" slump and lit my brain on fire again. let's goooo:

The Ashford Tourney Theory - Something Shady goes down at the tourney Petyr has planned that requires Sansa to make a quick getaway, and likely causes her to run into Brienne while fleeing. This theory for me is about hinting at Sansa's romantic future, allies, and how she's getting the hell out of the Vale: both the dark haired, Not Targ Looking Targ Prince that is the son of A Great Prince That Never Was being her romantic endgame but also it's about Brienne (/Dunk) getting her the hell out of there and becoming Sansa's number one ally and protector (with Sansa's number two being Bronze Yohn!! But he's not fleeing with her - if he helps her get out of the Vale, it'll be to cause a distraction or a fight so Sansa can slip away unnoticed. Bronze Yohn is coming with the knights of the Vale later to help defend his girl!).

The Girl In Grey - Out of options on where to go, Sansa & Brienne makes a long, fast, and dangerous trek to the only family she knows is still alive: Jon Snow at the Wall. No, I don't think Alys Karstark is the girl in grey on a dying horse; I think she's a red herring, the same as the scene where Sweetrobin destroys the snow castle, and that the real girl in grey (who slays the savage giant) is Sansa. Melisandre says that she sees "Jon's sister" but doesn't specify more than that, or how she knows it's Jon's sister, even - why would she assume Alys is Jon's sister and not some random Northern girl? Why was she so sure that it was his sister? It's because Alys isn't the girl in grey, it's Sansa, her horse dying because she's traveled halfway across the continent with Brienne and Pod, desperately trying to keep ahead of the dozens of people hunting her down.

The Blood of Winterfell - Sansa and Jon will reclaim winterfell together. This one is similar to above; just like Alys was a red herring, the scene where Sansa rebuilds the castle has a lot of foreshadowing (imo) but that isn't the moment in the prophecy Arya hears. The Savage Giant is Littlefinger, the castle of snow is Winterfell, and Sansa is going to liberate her home alongside Jon and what's left of the Northern lords.

Stone and Snow Remains - THIS is where Sansa and Jon will fall in love while fighting for the North. This is also the part where you lose a lot of people, because they think the evidence is real weak sauce but like, I also think the Jonerys "evidence" is weak af too (and no wonder, we have at minimum 2k pages left to get through!!). There's several believed foreshadowing points to this one, bare with me for this weird ass formatting because I can't do sub bullet points on tumblr:

1. Sansa's linking of snow with love and affection - "drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover’s kisses, and melted on her cheeks...She could feel the snow on her lashes, taste it on her lips. It was the taste of Winterfell. The taste of innocence. The taste of dreams." along with her snow maiden and snow knight.

2. Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell - the chapter where Sansa gets her period for the first time, Cersei refers to it as “flowering” a dozen times, linking being a maiden (a young girl, not quite of age or just barely of age) to flowers and several people refer to sex as ~plucking. Also notice the one who stole her from KL is Lord BAELish.

3. Aemon the Dragonknight & Queen Naerys - Sansa compares herself to Naerys, Joffrey to Aegon, and wishes for an Aemon, among the many similarities between her life and Naerys'. Jon not only calls himself Aemon, he has a deep connection with a different Aemon Targaryen. And if you’re thinking “Sansa isn’t Naerys, X is Naerys” I would remind you that Sansa as a character existed first, George purposefully had her compare herself to Naerys, and parallels don't belong to just one character.

4. Jenny of Oldstones and The Prince of Dragonflies - there's honestly a lot of parallels between them but like the Aemon/Naerys parallel, the Jenny/Duncan one stands out to me.

5. Janos Slynt - I mean. Iconic. This was the scene that made me first think about what their relationship could be in the future and there’s a reason Jonsas fixate on it. It’s about Sansa being desperate for a hero and the hero she dreamed about being Jon the whole time. 6. Societal Alienation - There's the bastard parallels here, the "it would be so sweet to see him again", the "Winterfell belongs to my sister, Sansa." It's about how Jon, through circumstances of his birth, finds himself alienated from the rest of society and reconnects with his prim and proper sister Sansa, who finds herself alienated from the rest of society as well but for vastly different reasons.

Robb’s Will - Howland is going to show up in the North, along with Maege and Galbert, with some WILD news about why Jon can’t rule Winterfell. There’s a lot of contention around this. Bran probably shows up around this time too, and Arya gets to the Riverlands to discover Lady Stoneheart and give her the gift of mercy. This is where all the inheritance stuff is going to happen and I have no idea how it's going to go down besides it's going to be messy as all fuck.

The Pact Of Ice And Fire - Jon & Sansa get secret married bc they’re in love, not siblings, & jon is the only man she trusts not to steal her claim. This isn't the only possible foreshadowing instance of a marriage either - some believe the Sandor/Sansa scene during the Battle of the Blackwater is foreshadowing as well (personally I feel that's a bit of a stretch but I wanted to include it anyway).

Jon As An Envoy - I talked about this in my "what's Jon's ending" a little but I believe Jon will act as an envoy for either Sansa or Bran to Aegon VI, essentially playing out a similar story that he does in the show with Daenerys. By which I mean, Jon is not the King because the ruler themselves do not go as an envoy, that’s stupid and dangerous, but he goes as an ambassador for Sansa or Bran, to treat with a new claimant to the Iron Throne that is gaining support - Aegon VI & Jon Connington. They will probably clash, Jon will probably have yet another identity crisis, there had BETTER be gay incest subtext, then Aegon dies, and Jon has his sixth quarter life crisis in a row.

“King” of the Gift - again, something I touched on in my Jon meta is that I think he’s going to have a hand in resettling the Gift. Personally, I think it's likely that Jon leaves to protect the claims of his siblings (see: Duncan and Jenny) and goes to the Gift to help resettle it to keep out of the way. This ending is typically referred to as the "bael the bard" ending but i like to think of it as the "brandon's gift" ending instead - though he is not physically with his family, Jon feels fulfilled having confirmed his family loves him through reclaiming Winterfell and marrying Sansa, being reunited with Arya, and being given the Gift by Bran. Sansa claims her children were fathered by a wolf.

So…what does all this do for the story?

Well, in my opinion, several things.

I think the main barrier here is that most people in the greater fandom describe Sansa's story as ~growing past childish wants~ and Jon's as ~rejecting love~ and I do not agree with either of those takes even a little bit. This is where (imo) the dividing line between Jonsas and the rest of the fandom is. I don’t think the answer to Sansa’s question “will anyone ever marry me for love” is going to be “nah" - that's not just a sad story to me (wanting to be married isn't childish! craving intimacy and understanding isn't childish! it's also not wrong for a child to be childish!), I think the idea that Sansa (or Jon) will not find another love just doesn't line up with how George approaches his story. Who Sansa's husband will be has been such a big question, and her story is so heavy into the more romantic tropes like courtly love and chivalry and the line between politics and love and identity, that the question of Sansa's hand in marriage will be plot relevant. I also think it's kinda naive of people to pretend like George isn't very interested in the sexual dynamics of the characters he writes about (yeah, sure, no woman needs a man but "needing a man" is not what this is about. look at everything this man wrote in F&B and tell me he is going to write a female character that longs for sex and desire and doesn't get it!).

After AGOT, nearly every time Sansa thinks about marriage involves her longing for love but believing she will never get it because a man will only ever love her for her claim. Giving her a man - like Jon - who not only will not steal her claim and in fact has defended it twice over already, who will love her for who she is and not what she can give him, is a really important aspect of her story in my opinion.

As for Jon, I am even more firmly against the opinion that his story is about rejecting love; Jon’s story is about wanting to be a good man, to measure up to his father ~despite~ his bastard blood. When Aemon asks if Ned would choose honor over love and Jon stubbornly says yes, Jon is wrong and it’s important to not forget that. Ned has never once in his entire life chosen honor over love; he chooses his daughter’s life over his honor, he chooses his sister & her son’s life over honor, he chooses Arya & Nymeria over honor, and on and on!!! Ned chooses love at almost turn but none of his children know that just yet - look at Robb choosing Jeyne’s honor over his own and how upset he is at the idea that Ned would be disappointed despite the fact that Ned would have understand Robb’s decision! Jon's whole arc is tied up in realizing that it is not wrong or dirty to feel and choose love, passion, and desire and if he never has another romantic arc again, I think you lose the second part of that lesson which is "you are responsible for how you act when you feel love but that doesn't mean that simply choosing love makes you a bad person."

There's also the fact that George has talked a lot about "who lives, who dies, who gets married" and yet we have not one marriage at the end of the show AND there's not a lot of guesses at what "who gets married" means besides Jon/erys (and even if Jonsa doesn't happen, I simply do not see Jon/erys happening. they are not similar enough, they will not be in the same space for long enough, and they are on wildlly different trajectories for their story, they are not getting married let alone having sex). I think Jonsa fits that bill very well.

These various theories - from Sansa being queen, Jon living in exile, The Ashford Tourney Theory, the secret marriage, every one of them - are ideas and themes that I have really been thinking about for about 12 years now. I think Jon and Sansa's relationship could fit with the themes in their stories, the overarching themes in the books, and my own personal opinions. I think it gives George a great opportunity to delve into the courtly love aspects he enjoys so much, as well as delve into inheritance, legacy, legitimacy, honor, incest (yes, that too), and above all, what George himself has said the whole series is about - love. The human heart in conflict with itself is what I think Jon and Sansa as a romantic couple does for the series.

[fantasyandromancelover]

Another Hazbin Scenario

Charlie is heavily pregnant and has to take a break from the hotel business to avoid being stressed and overworked which is bad for the baby. Well that and the fact that Alastor is the father thus resulting in her having unstable mood swings and extreme cravings for meat.

Vaggie is left in charge until she has the baby and she and Angel get the idea to promote business through a cooking show. After all the quickest way to any person’s heart is through their stomach.

Vaggie: (Turning to the camera) That’s right everyone, here at the Hazbin Hotel you will dine only on the finest and most exotic cuisine. And today, my associate Angel and I shall give you a sneak peek at what we serve.

Angel: (Wearing a chef’s hat) Today we’ll be making a special dish that combines the spicy tastes of Italian and Latin American food. Pasta and tacos.

Vaggie: For this we’ll need tortilla bread, pasta, tomatoes, peppers, cheese, mushrooms, raw beef, raw pork, and a number of spices from El Salvador and Italy. Now we’ll start by making the sauce and grounding up the meat. Angel did you bring the meat grinder?

Angel: I got it right here babe.

Vaggie: Good. I’ll work on the sauce and you grind up the beef and pork.

Angel: Gotcha! (Turns toward the butcher block) Hey! It’s gone!

Vaggie: What is?

Angel: The meat! Someone took it.

Vaggie: That’s weird. Who would want a ton of raw beef and a ton of raw pork?

Suddenly they hear something that resembles savage predators feasting on a dead animal. They follow the sound behind the table, finding Alastor and a pregnant Charlie devouring the meat like a lion and lioness.

Soon the couple notice the two cooks and look up.

Alastor: Oh, were you two going to eat that?

Charlie: (Burps) Sorry, but baby was really hungry.

Vaggie and Angel just stare at them visibly disturbed.

Alastor: Hey you left raw meat out in the open, you knew the risks.

Vaggie turns to the camera.

Vaggie: We’ll be right back after these messages. Stay tuned…(Cringes) If you have the stomach for it.

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 (𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue prompts taken from episodes 5 & 6 ( "eat at baratie!" & "the chef and the chore boy" ) of the netflix live action one piece series. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )

❛ how about we sail away as fast as we can? ❜

❛ about the battle, you wanna talk about it? ❜

❛ there's something on the breeze. smells like butter. soy sauce. and meat. ❜

❛ think he has brain damage? ❜

❛ i smell food, which means that there's someone somewhere cooking. ❜

❛ what's a... baratie? ❜

❛ let's eat! ❜

❛ you'll have to excuse them. they're idiots. ❜

❛ wanna take this outside? ❜

❛ are you asking me to dance? 'cause i kind of had my eye on that blonde at table eight. ❜

❛ i call it a true bluefin sauté. it's elephant tuna, seared asparagus, in a sweet soy reduction. ❜

❛ if i gotta sling one more prime rib medium-well, i am going to drop dead of boredom, you old shitbag! ❜

❛ this ain't gonna be a fight. i'm just going to kill him. ❜

❛ hi, welcome to our shitty restaurant where the only thing worse than the ambience is the food. ❜

❛ one of our signature cocktails to help you choke down your meal? ❜

❛ apologies, madam, i didn't see you there. ❜

❛ something wrong with your eye? ❜

❛ just blinded by your beauty. ❜

❛ nami's got a boyfriend. ❜

❛ did i catch you in the middle of something? ❜

❛ just killing some time. ❜

❛ who's the quarry? ❜

❛ doesn't sound like much of a challenge. ❜

❛ why are you after me? ❜

❛ you woke me from my nap. ❜

❛ i can't eat another bite. but it's so good. ❜

❛ who the hell is monkey d. luffy? ❜

❛ i don't even think there's liquor in this. it tastes just like candy. ❜

❛ who's ready for another drink? my treat. ❜

❛ i don't really do regret. no point in looking back. ❜

❛ sometimes, when i try to look ahead, all i see is back. ❜

❛ you know, you're a really good cook. ❜

❛ if a man is hungry, i feed him. ❜

❛ what are you carrying around that's so heavy? ❜

❛ i bet i know more about you than you do about me. ❜

❛ i guess something about you, you drink. you guess something about me, i drink.❜

❛ i have business with your captain. if you know what's good for you, you'll hand him over. ❜

❛ i've been following your career since i was a child. it's an honor to finally meet you, sir. which is why it pains me to inform you that tomorrow... you're going to die. ❜

❛ accept my challenge. you'll see how serious i am. ❜

❛ you want me to say you're the best? you're the best. okay? ❜

❛ you're the best i've ever seen, but you are not better than him. ❜

❛ why do you give a shit? ❜

❛ because you're my friend, you idiot. ❜

❛ you said it yourself. you don't have any friends. ❜

❛ what is that? i'm here for a sword fight. ❜

❛ i don't hunt rabbits with a cannon. ❜

❛ you're brave. i'll give you that. ❜

❛ wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame. ❜

❛ this world could use a few more wild cards. ❜

❛ it's too soon for you to die. grow strong and come find me. i'll be waiting. ❜

❛ you could never fail me. ❜

❛ look, i'm not gonna lie to you. he's lost a lot of blood. it might be too late for him. but it might not be. ❜

❛ he's got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. you have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. ❜

❛ nice of you to announce yourself. ❜

❛ i don't take orders. not even from the likes of you. ❜

❛ what's the matter? don't like fish? ❜

❛ if you don't want the fish, i got two-inch t-bones in the kitchen. or maybe you're in the mood for saffron risotto? ❜

❛ i can make anything. just tell me what you want. ❜

❛ being a captain, it's the toughest job in the world, okay? ❜

❛ how'd you two meet? were you on his crew or something? ❜

❛ oregano's for savages! ❜

❛ you've got a sharp tongue on you, boy. how about i cut it out and fry it up with some pig fat? ❜

❛ do what you want, but i'm not gonna die here. ❜

❛ they're all dead, except for us. ❜

❛ you ate it? you ate your own leg? ❜

❛ you don't even know me. why would you do that for a stranger? ❜

❛ so i'm gonna need you to live on. and i'm gonna need you to fulfill that dream... for both of us. ❜

❛ have any idea what that's like? having someone lose a limb to save your life? ❜

❛ sometimes, when you are in charge, you have to make the tough decisions. ❜

❛ i'd do anything to save him. anything. except stand in the way of his dream. ❜

❛ isn't there something that you want? something more than anything else in this world? ❜

❛ not everyone gets to follow their dreams. ❜

❛ did you not hear what i just said? they are hunting you. we need to run. ❜

❛ i can't let innocent people get hurt because of me. ❜

❛ i hear you're looking for me. ❜

❛ so this is the pirate i've heard so much about? ❜

❛ do you know who i am, boy? ❜

❛ how'd you even know how to find me? ❜

❛ if you bow down to me, i might even let you serve in my kingdom. ❜

❛ i don't bow down to any man. ❜

❛ i told you in the bar i didn't have any friends, but the truth is, i couldn't let myself have them... because i always end up hurting the people closest to me. ❜

❛ why waste your time killing a devil fruit eater? let the sea do it for you. ❜

❛ what is your problem? ❜

❛ me? i'm fine. you're the one with the problem. ❜

❛ you're not gonna be anything, not if you stay here. ❜

❛ it's not like i can just leave. ❜

❛ don't you get it? it's one thing to have a dream. it's another to go after it. ❜

❛ you want my permission? you got it. ❜

❛ i didn't know what to say before, but i know what to say now, and it's so simple. i need you. ❜

❛ you gonna keep talking, or let me get some sleep? ❜

❛ i vow to stand by your side from now until the end. ❜

❛ you're my captain, and i'm your first mate. ❜

❛ heard you guys need a cook. ❜

❛ why are we bringing the waiter? ❜

❛ you keep your feet dry. ❜

❛ you know, all these years, living under your shitty roof, cooking at your shitty restaurant... i owe you my life! ❜

❛ thank you for putting up with my shit all these years, old man. ❜

❛ i'll never forget you! ❜

[daddy-issues-subscriber3]

Warning....NSFW material ahead. By reading this, you certify that you are not a minor and legally an adult. (18 years of age or older), and consent to viewing adult-themed material on your own accord . All characters depicted herein are fictional adults aged 18 years and older. An Original writing by Kiddmandu. 

Another 60 Second Fantasy 

A Quickie In The Kitchen

(TW:: Kitchen Sex, Cream Pie)

   You're standing at the stove making dinner for the family. The kids are out to play at a neighbors house, and won't be home until dinner time. I look across the room and see your shapely ass swaying back and forth, as you stir the batch of Spaghetti sauce that's cooking on the stove. For a mom of two, your ass is still amazing and looks so good in the yoga pants you have on.

   I am overtaken by a rush of lust. I come up behind you and move your hair away from your neck. I lean in and start to kiss the soft, succulent flesh of your neck. 

   “What's gotten into you ?" You ask. But I don't respond. Instead, my hands come up to fondle and grope your breasts. I grind my hardening cock into you from behind. You obviously like it, because you bend over slightly and your ass starts to grind back. 

    I NEED to have you. Like immediately. Right here. Right NOW. All I can think about is getting my cock inside you. I pull down the yoga pants and your thong both at the same time. I immediately let one of my hand drop and start to finger fuck you. Your pussy is slightly wet already and my fingers slide in easily. Gently, I work them in and out. 

    Your first instinct is to try to resist. Not because you don't like it, but simply because it's daytime and we are standing in our kitchen. "Honey, what if the kids come..” you start to say but I remove my fingers from your needy pussy and shove them in your mouth. Greedily, you begin to suck on them. Tasting yourself. 

    “Shhhh my sweet." I whisper into your ear. “We have time." I reach beneath your shirt and roughly pull your bra up over your tits. Your large tits fall free. I remove my saliva soaked fingers from your lips and begin to squeeze and pinch a nipple. With my free hand, I pull my now very hard cock out of my pants. 

    I spin you around and force you down. Bent over the island in our kitchen, you gasp loudly as my actions are rough and forceful. I am “taking" you. Throwing all caution to the wind and simply taking what I want. giving on to my savage lust.

    I work the head of my cock right up to the now very wet and dripping entrance to your smoldering cunt. 

    “Oh baby. Yes!!!" You grunt, as you feel my cock begin to sink into your depths. Pushing into you, my thick and lengthy cock parts your lady lips. In return, the slick flesh of your interior pussy envelopes my meaty dick. Clinging to it, causing a slippery friction as I invade you ever so slowly. 

    “Mmm you feel so good" I groan as the pleasure of your deliciously wet pussy slides onto me. 

    “Do it Honey…Do it!” You plead. Begging me to fuck you. 

    I respond to your pleas by slamming my cock into you hard. Pushing all the way in. You let out a huge gasp as my cock bottoms out, and my length bashes against your cervix. I quickly start a regimen of slamming into you and pulling almost all the way out. 

   As I rut into you. Pleasure takes over. Out the window goes the mild mannered mom of two. The deeper you fall down the orgasmic rabbit hole, the more feral you become. 

  “Oh Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yes. Yes .Yes.” you growl and moan in time with my thrusts. 

   Reaching up, I grab a big handful of your hair and harshly pull your head back. 

   "You like that Slut ?” I sneer through gritted teeth. 

   "Oh my…fuck yes" You cry out. “Cum Daddy!! Pump your cum into me !" 

   Hearing you beg for my load, inspires. Spurns me on. Makes me want to give you exactly what you desire. I fuck you at a blistering pace. The slippery friction builds. If you weren't so positively soaked I'm pretty sure there would be smoke pouring out of your pussy. Fucking. Fast. Hard. Rough. Drilling you. Balls slapping. It's happening.

    Now.

    “Ugggh Fuckkkkkkkk" I groan as my orgasm arrives. I drive in deep. Balls deep. My cock is completely buried in your cunt when I cum. I feel myself erupting inside of you. My hot cum spewing from me, into you. 

    As you feel my cock throbbing inside of you. My body spasming and jerking with my powerful climax. My warm cum flooding your pussy. All of that combined forces you to cum with me. 

    “Ohhhh Myyyyy Godddd !” You scream and pant. The walls of your pussy constrict around my cock. Gripping me tightly. Milking my cum for every last drop. Your body shivers and shakes uncontrollably for the entire duration of your orgasm.

   As our respective climaxes dwindle and fade, I never even remove my cock. Instead, I collapse on top of you. Both of our upper torsos are now laying upon the countertop. I wrap my arms around you and hug you tightly. I leaned down and kiss your shoulder sweetly. You snuggle into me, and we have a wonderful moment holding each other. 

   Unfortunately, that moment is short-lived, because we hear the front door open and we have to dress and fix ourselves quickly. Luckily, we do not get caught red-handed by our oldest child. 

    “Hey mom, what's for supper?" Our son asks.

    “Spaghetti and meatballs buddy,  but I'm not sure your mom's eating tonight. I think she might already be full.” I say with a chuckle. 

    “Not anymore" you smile because everything that was inside of you has started to drain out of you and run down your thighs. 

   Well,...not everything. Unbeknownst to both of us, the mom of two, has just become a mom of three. 

   By the way, dinner was delicious. 

Another Original Erotic Story by 

Daddy-issues-subscriber3

(Aka Kiddmandu2)

[billciphersrpblog]

OOC Explanation Post in case anyone needs to catch up on RP events because I know not everyone here is on the Discord to see updates and a lot has happened recently.

Here's what happened ever since the blog got unshadowbanned.

- Eda Clawthorne Bullies Ford To The Point Of Reviving This Blog Even While It Was Shadowbanned - Bill and Ford argue and Ford almost shoots Bill's hat with the last atom of Euclydia in it.

- Ford gets high on stupid sauce, and Bill makes a deal with him on the conditions 1) He would get to possess him, 2) Ford has to make a case for Bill getting his powers back to the Oracle (since Bill and the Axolotl are not on good terms). In exchange for all that, Ford gets... a dirt cookie. 👍 Then, possessing Ford, Bill does stupid things with Ford's body, like using spray paint to "dye" his hair, trying to get tattoos, etc.

- Ford finally wakes up from the possession, enraged by the whole thing, leading to The Bill Death* Arc:

Part 1 - Bill bullies Ford and reveals he wasted the Quantum Destabilizer's only shot. Ford is finally fed up to the point of going completely savage and threatening to use what's left of his gun to blow up the area. Including himself.

Part 2 - Rebecca**comes in to ask Ford about the zodiac wheel right at the moment he was about to kill Bill. Ford lies to her saying she needs to leave to find extra tools for the zodiac wheel, and when she's gone, Bill begs for his life. Ford spares him.

*(Technically he didn't die, I just thought the name was funny.)

**(Rebecca is from this Bill's dimension. RP canon lore is that once Bill broke out of Theraprism, many years have passed and the Pines were dead. Rebecca's a currently alive descendant of the Pines.)

TL;DR- Bill fucks up and is forced to deal with the consequences.

As always, you can check the #lore/#summary tag if you're confused about anything. Or just send an ask and I can happily elaborate!

[mykoreanlove]

Can I ask one where the reader and Taemin were a couple, broke up and then decided to be friends , but Tae realized he can’t, bc he developed feelings for her again… thanks

“Tae, hurry up! I am starving!”

Your ex-boyfriend hurried up the stairs, your favorite take-out in his hands. “Jesus, y/n, you’re no fun when you’re hungry”, he mocked in a playful tone.

“Yeah, yeah”, you rolled your eyes and grabbed the bag of food.

It was a typical Friday night for you – after getting home from work, taking off your make up and switching into comfy PJs, you always ordered your favorite Chinese take out and ate it together with Taemin.

Years ago, this used to be normal since you were dating him. But now?

“Look at us. Who would have thought that we were better off as friends?”, you cheered happily.

He felt a punch to his stomach. Friends. Taemin was the one who broke your heart about a year ago because he couldn’t handle the intensity of your love anymore. It tore you apart while he seemed to be pretty chill about it. At least that’s what you had thought. He went on vacations, worked on new projects, and even dated around while you were crying your eyes out, ditching your friends and wondered if you could die from heartbreak.

You didn’t notice his changed saddened features and kept on explaining. “You know, back then when you broke up with me? That was the most horrific event in my life. I didn’t know how to be on my own anymore. We’ve been dating for so long, I just got used to being yours. And when you left me, it was hard. Oh, can you pass me the soy sauce?”

Taemin passed you the sauce without saying a word. He hated himself for what he did back then. He was immature and foolish and thought breaking up with you would be for the best. But it was not.

He was just as heartbroken and felt guilty for fucking up the best thing he had ever had in his life. Masking that feeling with vacations, work and other women only did so much.

“But”, you chewed contently on your spring roll, “I got over it and I managed to find a way to stay friends with you. I’m happy now.”

Happy. He was glad that you felt that way, after all he always wanted to see you succeed. But it tore him apart to be excluded from your happiness, at least in the romantical sense.

“Hey, I just read an article last night. It asked what you would do if you knew that you only had one year left to live. What would you do, y/n?”

This question caught you by surprise. That’s what you loved about him – you could goof around but talk about important, deep stuff as well. Taemin always wanted to know what you were thinking, what you liked and what made you, you.

“Can you pass me another beer while I think about it?”

He handed you another bottle and shied away at the touch of your fingers. Luckily, you didn’t notice his cheeks redden.

“Okay. I think I would quit my job and go on vacations for a while. You know all those places on my vision board from back then? I would take all my money and spend it on first class flights, luxurious hotels and once in a lifetime experiences. Oh, and I would take my friends and family with me, so I could share my joy with them.”

Taemin nodded contently. Typical, you always loved to travel, and you always cared for the people in your life.

“Oh, I would call all the people that did me wrong and I would tell them exactly what I think of them. Unhinged. Like the dick that blocked me after he fucked me? Or the mean girls in middle school that bullied me? Or my boss who scolded me for the mistakes of others? Yeah, I’d let them have a piece of my mind. For sure.”

You giggled happily, proud to finally get your vendetta. Taemin watched you and smiled. He always loved your savage side, but you rarely let it come out. He had no idea that all those experiences still lingered in your heart, but he was glad that you were ready to let go of them.

“And, if I only had one year left to live, I’d hope I’d be happy, you know? Knowing that you’re about to die is scary, so I wouldn’t want to ruminate over that. Instead, I would like to count my blessings and live each day as best as I could.”

You took another sip of your beer. Taemin’s eyes didn’t leave you once, he was glued to you. “Why are you looking at me like that? Tae?”

He snapped back to reality and apologized. “Sorry, y/n, I just got lost in my thoughts.”

You clanked your bottle with his and nodded approvingly. “I get it. It’s a tough question after all. So, tell me, what would you do?”

He took a deep breath before answering. Courage was all he needed right now, and he tried his best to gather all of it. Taemin scooched closer to you.

“I would do this”, he said and leaned in for a kiss.

His lips were still as soft as ever, even the touch of his kiss felt familiar. Your head was spinning, your body felt dizzy.

Taemin leaned back and spoke softly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Y/N, if I had only one year left, I would tell you how I honestly feel about you. Or rather about us. I made the biggest mistake when I broke up with you back then. I hated myself for it, still do. The truth is, I am in love with you. Always have been, always will be.”

Taemin could hear your heart pounding heavily and hoped that was a good sign. You looked flustered, which he didn’t mind. In fact, you were always the most beautiful in his eyes. Your eyes were glistening, intensely focused on his. Was that a good sign? Was there still a chance left for your love?

“Y/N?”

[kyros-tha-soldier]

ONE PIECE CHAPTER 1098 FULL SUMMARY (AND SOME SCREENSHOTS)

⚠️Spoiler alert⚠️

This... this is disheartening, this is sad, messed up and disheartening... honestly if Luffy doesn't exterminate every single CD then I'm dropping OP forever. Let's get to the sauce:

-the chapter starts with the revolutionary army having a battle, and Kuma assisting in it despite Ivankov telling him not to go and that he was being reckless.

-since Ginny's disappearence, Kuma has gotten a lot more violent on the battlefield and has even fought against the enemy on his own and won.

-the revos receive a call from someone and when they pick up, the person tells them that they're sorry, and that their whole troop has been killed. This person of course, is none other than Ginny.

-Kuma tells his comrades that he will go rest on the ship since he was pretty exhausted from the battle, a battle that lasted three years that he single handedly won.

-two years after Ginny's disappearance, the revos receive a call from her, we can hear a baby crying in the background and she tells Kuma that she may not make it because she was seriously ill, she also tells him that she had been forced to marry a celestial dragon (we're not told who this CD is) and that he threw her out with her newborn baby after They both got the disease. She tells Kuma that she is Currently at the church where they used to live together. and that she made it over there by sailing under the sun and shielding her own baby using her own body.

-the sapphire scale disease is a very rare disease that causes the patient's skin to turn into a hard crystallized scale-like state upon contact with any natural light. So Ginny travelling to get back home while exposing herself to the sunlight and moonlight was literally a death sentence.

-Upon hearing that she's at the church, Kuma goes to find her, right before she says her last words "I have always, always loved you, Kuma..."

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD OH MY GOD ODA SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP THIS!!!!

GODDAMIT are you happy now????? You made Ginny die a terrible death, and the only man she ever loved didn't even hear her saying that she had always loved him!!!!! Fuck this shit god holy fuck!

-Kuma arrives at the church, it's empty, and we can see him kneeling in front of Ginny's dead body, we only see her hand and foot, they are badly damaged by the disease. Kuma starts Crying and holds her dead body in his arms before putting her into rest at a grave, the grave marker has her name on it, which is confirmed to be Ginny.

-Kuma takes it upon himself to raise little Bonney (he didn't name her bonney, it was Ginny who named her) however he is clueless about so many things regarding parenting, we see him asking the elderly for advice on how to make milk for Bonney 🥺 (they say that they would gladly help him but that he should put her in a cage so he won't crush her during his sleep... BROOOOO THESE ELDERLY MFS ARE SAVAGE AS HELL 💀💀💀)

-Kuma starts to balance between his work as revolutionary and a new surrogate parent. We see him holding the milk bottle so little Bonney can drink, and she chugs it in no time. Kuma calls her "a big eater" just like he used to do for Ginny.

-We see a montage of Bonney growing up, and she calls Kuma "papa", to which he burst out in tears (he reminds me of Kyros in this scene.... WHAT'S WITH ODA AND BIG SOFT DADS BEING ALL TEARJERKERS ?????) We see him assisting in revolutionary battles and training Sabo as well as taking care of his daughter in his hometown, scenes of him bathing her and sleeping next to her

-however it's not all fun and games (Oda: of course this is Kuma's flashback, it has to be messed up to the max!) And we see Gyogyo and his friend (Bonney's two future subordinates) come to the church, and Kuma orders them to lock the door. They comply and close it but notice that he had also closed the windows completely shut with woodbplanks, they ask him why he did that and he tells them that it's because Bonney shouldn't be exposed to light (he shows them a small spot of crystalized scales on her face near her cheek where she will have her piercing in the future). He tells dragon and iva that he will quit being a revolutionary so he can take care of Bonney

-The kids bully Bonney and call her a vampire, she beats them and gives them the middle finger, and when she tried to get out Kuma stops her, fearing she might get exposed to sunlight. Instead he brings her books from all around the world to read.

-Kuma takes Bonney to so many other doctors, some of which mis-diagnosed her with the amber-lead disease (the same disease law had)

-a doctor diagnoses her with the sapphire scale disease and tells Kuma that even though she didn't get exposed to natural light, the illness will still kill her slowly and she won't make it pass 10 years old

-Bonney overhears them and Kuma lies to her that the doctor said she will be cured in ten years, he calls her Jewelry because of the small patch of sapphire scales that she has on her face

-the two of them start dancing. Kuma asks Bonney where would she like to go and she tells him that she dreams of travelling the world and going to skypia and drum island.

-News about the return of King Beckori to the throne, and the elderly people tell Kuma that the king wants to exterminate those who oppose him, Kuma is shocked by the news, and the chapter ends.

Okay, overall impression of the chapter:

I am at a loss of words... I am appallled I'm... I'm...

and to think that we're not done and we still have more!!!!! KUMA WILL STILL SUFFER MORE AND MORE AND EVEN MORE!

but for now, I want to clear the air with some cute panels, if we gone remember Kuma, might as well remember him for the big softie he is:

people said Oda didn't draw well in this manga like, Nuh uh this shit looks AMAZING than whatever scribbles he used to give us! the dark undertones and shadows, wow, just WOW!

on a sidenote: Bonney is confirmed to be twelve, yikes oda....

Edit: I'm a dum dum bum bum and I mistook Bonney saying she wants to visit Fishman Island with her wanting to visit drum island

[td-yuri-takes]

Mod cricket is a pinch of duncan slander allowed with your usual yuri takes please 🙏 cuz ngl he seems like the type of guy to say "i can fix you baby cheeks" UNIRONICALLY. He looks like a threat to any lesbian in a 50 kilometre radius

OKAY SO TALKING ABOUT DUNCAN IS ALLOWED ON THE BLOG IF WE’RE HATING ON HIM.

I have a few words myself.

BRO GOD DAMN YOU AIN'T GOT WAVES ON YOUR HEAD YOU GOT A WHOLE DAMN TIDAL SEQUENCE ON YO HEAD YOUR ASS UGLY AS SHIT BRO LOOK AT YOUR EMO ASS BRUH IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR I'M A BURGER KING WITH MY BURGER KING CAN I PLEASE GET A LARGE FRY LOOKING ASS AND LOOK AT YO NIPPLES BOY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOOT LASER BEAMS OUT OF YOUR NIPPLES PEW PEW POINTY ASS NIPPLE ASS GARDEN GNOME NOSE LOOKING ASS NIPPLE BOY YOU UGLY AS SHIT SHUT YO DIRTY ASS UP BRUH SAY SOMETHING BRUH WHAT WHO TF AM I BITCH WHAT THE FUCK IF YOU DON'T GET YO ISHOWSPEED DRIED OUT WEED BODY BUILT LIKE AN ANAL BEAD HEADPHONE WIRE DEFLATED TIRE FARTED IN THE MIC AND CALLED IT FIRE CHICKEN POX DIRTY SOCKS AYO EVERYONE GO AND FOLLOW PARADOX CRYPTO SCAM ORANGE CRAYON PEANUT BUTTER JELLY JAM DIRTY TOE SLOPPY JOE CHRISTIAN RONALDO LOOKING ASS UP YOU UGLY AS SHIT SHUT YO STUPID ASS UP YOU DIRTY AS HELL BRO IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE TWENTY TWO SAVAGE MOLDY CABBAGE WENT TO THERAPY TO QUIT YOUR HABIT OF HAVING UNPROTECTED BUTT SEX WITH OBESE RABBITS REFRIGERATOR IS FILLED WITH MAGGOTS FATHER ABUSES YOU WITH A TENNIS RACKET SCHOOL GAVE YOU A CHROMEBOOK YOU TRIED TO HACK IT SEMI AUTOMATIC SOY SAUCE PACKET ROACH INBREEDING INSIDE YOUR ATTIC BUST DOWN GRANDMA LET ME SMACK IT LOOKING ASS BOY YOU UGLY AS SHIT IF YOU DON'T YOUR HALF A FRY CHERRY PIE BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY LOOKING ASS BACK YOU UGLY AS SHIT BOY YOU DIRTY AS HELL YOU LIKE YOU WERE BORN INSIDE OF A HANDICAP PARKING SPACE WITH YO STUPID ASS BOY YOU DIRTY AS SHIT BOY BITCH YO MOM LOOK LIKE WRECK IT RALPH WITH ESTROGEN IMPLANTS I'M GONNA WRECK IT.

[themightymoose]

Hamster Hoods

That lady's hair-

She looks so done

Poor robot

Vinnie climbing on the TV

Mrs. Twombly does no care about the robberies

We got a mystery on our hands, gang

Huh Zoe and Russell are on the same page

Sunil is canonically a terrible liar

Also the sad music in the background

I like how Fisher is becoming an actual antagonist now

Oooh angry faces

Blythe has the patience of a saint

Idiots. Absolute dumbasses

I was expecting the Biskits to actually believe the thing about the pets

Brittany apparently doesn't know what a brain is

Russell had a magnifying glass

Girlie probably got a concussion

Dun dun dun

Everyone is so excited to die

Yes Pepper and Vinnie let's gooooo

"Awesome sauce! Keep one of your large eyes open, Blythe!" I love Mrs. Twombly

Blythe looks so smug

Savage girl <333

Oh my god they got fucking lost

Vinnie and Pepper's friendship means everything to me

She legit thought Vinnie died for a second

"Love your accents :)" me too, Vinnie. Me too...

They're pulling a Robin Hood rn

Good lads :)

It's been awhile since we had a fantasy

Zinnie canon????

I hate Sunil's hair cut 💀

Wtf is he doing

"Vinnie, you sound like Tarzan."

Ah yes the return of Pepper's trust issues hooray

Vinnie has to pull Pepper up by his tail 💀

Yay they care this time :D

They might just be worried about Pepper tbh

I really like this music

Huh everyone seems very willing to give back the stuff

Oh that hamster got buff

Pepper and Vinnie jumping up and down out of excitement

Fisher having beef with a teenage girl is really funny to me

The reporter just looks confused

Pepper and Vinnie smiling at each other

I love them so very much

And now they're giggling <3

Blythe is such a girlboss

These hamsters. I love them

Pfffffft losers

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: Y’all funny bruh

(Me watching everyone have a meltdown over that lil “anti-cheat system” trick while my shit was sitting untouched. They going to hell for that Idk)

• Why literally every single season the bitches that’s always causing drama wanna sit and act like they don’t? Can we please get ONE real bitch to just be straight up like “yeah I like to start shit and I’ll do it again”?

• Jin romancers don’t come for me cuz I like him too but I gotta speak real!

• Outfit time!

• These are much better swimsuits in my opinion. Also GAY RIGHTS BIKINI ACHIEVED!

• Right boo.

• This I-Spy challenge idea kinda messy as hell ooooouuuu y’all ate that I can’t lie.

• Claudia sis no…that’s nasty.

• Luna, you starting to make an enemy outta me young lady.

• “This is I Spy, not I Imagine” pleasekfmdmsm ate that.

• OH I WANT IT BAE CLOCK THAT BITCH TEA!

• Omgggg the comebacks this season I can’t.

• That tired attempt at trying to get me to fight with Oakley oh boo try again! Unlike y’all, me and my nigga secure!

• Jin secretly kissing Sophie coming out of nowhere like what the???

• Girl you was literally just trying to defame my character- ok whatever.

• I know you fucking lying. Uh uh.

• Trying to get me to help send y’all to the hideaway when the both of you been testing my patience the past few days is CRAZY like no baby get somebody else to do it😭😭😭

• Outfit time again!

• Oh bitch we got the hennessyyyyy!!!! Like both these outfits eat DOWN.

• “I didn’t think what I said would cause so much drama” Oh Theo please even you don’t believe that.

• Theo flirting with me right after he just said voting for him and Clauds to go to the hideaway wouldn’t be a waste of my vote…😕

• The compliment party was a cute idea. You’re getting back in my good books Jin, congratulations!

• Anti-social Annie’s???😭😭😭

• Girl he betta be twerking with that big ole ass he got!

• Well…she get money. Her body tea. She super thick. She super pretty. Like why wouldn’t you be?

• I mean duh we won the hideaway challenge. We the only couple that’s not damn near a lost cause. Uggghh yes #BlackLove!

• Outfit time again again!

• Ok I know we all kinda tired of wearing Savage X Fenty lingerie every goddamn night but we can ignore that this time cuz 1. we tryna get FAWKED tonight and 2. these are sooooo cute I’m sorry.

• Ugh Oakley is soooo…like pull dat fucking dick out I’m not playin with you!

• Them bringing that stupid ass box back with same shit yet again oh brotherrrrr can we get something else???!!!! Like some chocolate sauce, a whip, handcuffs, hell a fucking dildo even just SOMETHING ELSE!

• He brought us a whole breakfast spread after dicking us down y’all. When we’re married by the end of this then what?

• Quite literally what else is there to expose my god. Are y’all gonna tell me y’all had a villa orgy before I got here like shit!

[netdetective]

as an indigenous person one thing that's so annoying so as to become comical is that it really is like we got patched out by the Earth devs in 1492 or something. like people truly act like we don't exist anymore or something. when they do meet us they love to do things like ask for spiritual guidance or what brother eagle predicts their lottery ticket will be like im just a guy in a tshirt man. we are just the chief in the history book with a feather bonnet huh. and like obviously i realize this is because the fact that ppl occupy stolen land bothers a lot of settlers to the point where no matter how virtuous they are about other causes its just genuinely comfier for them to act like we're an issue of the past. its activism all the way until the opportunity to make a corny two wolves joke or call something your spirit animal comes across and then well those savages are gone anyway right lol XD etc. EXCEPT for when columbus day and thanksgiving come around then you can reblog a gofundme or two but otherwise we're just the pilgrim dinner guests. even in many circles supposedly for minorities native americans (and even less so other worldwide indigenous people) rarely get a mention. some people still think native americans are the only indigenous people ever somehow. if it weren't for us being too loud for your comfort when we're grieving our losses as a group or a day where you feel personally obligated for clout points to care about indigenous people coming around a lot of you would forget we even exist and frankly so much anti-indigenousness is ingrained into popular society that a lot of you just kind of let slide idk i dont even write this post in a state of anger bc its so normalized that i have to just sit in disbelief so i Dont get mad about it all i ask here is for people to actually gaf and not just when you have to do something to stifle your turkey and cranberry sauce guilt

[somethingclevermahogony]

Five Senses Tag

Rules: share a snippet to represent each of the five senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell)

Thanks for the tag, @willtheweaver!

Sight:  He looked down at the water, it sparkled in the afternoon sunlight, a thousand shards of light glimmering amongst the sapphire expanse. Beneath the surface he could see flashes of silver and gold, fish, hundreds of them, they swam and darted beneath the beneath the hull, occasional one would approach the surface, just long enough for Narul to make out the chromatic glimmer of its scales, the flash of a tail fin. Further down he could just make out the swaying fronds of lakeweed, verdant greens and rich reds, between these aquatic trees larger creatures weaved.

Sound: The clashing of metal on metal and the yells and screams of dying men, were muffled as if in the far distance, though he knew that the carnage was playing out mere feet away. An unearthly howl split through the snow, what followed was the sound of metal cleaving flesh, screams of terror.

Taste: Dish after dish was presented to the tables. Fish and crustaceans played a central role; stewed, boiled, baked, fried, even raw. Salty and savory. Narul lost count of the varieties. After a short while, each silver tray would be whisked off by the servants to some unknown location, often with the majority of the food still left on them. Along with fish there came slabs of meat; beef and goat, nearly every dish drizzled with sauces of vinegar or mustard or else coated in herbs and oils. Occasionally vegetables; peeled asparagus, cabbage, and other greens would make an appearance and would be almost entirely ignored. Bowls of beer and wine, thick with sweet honey and crushed fruit  were constantly replenished, with the banqueters drinking from golden ladles dipped directly in the bowls.

Touch:  And so he reached out to drag his fingertips over the rough bark, interrupted by the occasional soft sponge of moss or lichen. He could feel the roots and twigs beneath his feet, the subtle cracks and crackles of desiccated plantlife.

Smell: Narul had never seen the like of it, such luxuriant extravagance. The sweetness of the perfumed oils which dripped from the walls only made him all the more aware of the terrible stench which wafted from his own person, a peculiar mixture of his dust, forest rot, and human funk. Ninma was little better. In some corner of his mind he felt a sort of savage satisfaction, knowing that his scent, the dirt on the soles of his feet, his very presence in this place, it all served in some small way to deface and dirty these opulent halls.

Tagging @illarian-rambling , @mk-writes-stuff , @rivenantiqnerd , @roach-pizza, and @elsie-writes

[emeraldsquishmallow]

For some reason, the idea of multiverse modern Barriss having zero contact with her mother and stepfather (Mace) CW: for mentions of gore, porn and sex. Poll at bottom

This is a poorly written wip

So essentially, the multiverse event happens (right after the trial), and Barriss is told by the Order to fuck off and fuck off she does. Nahdar is alive again, and he opts to live with Barriss. They're later joined by Emberlynn, Barbie Wire, Meg, Savage, Jecka, Kelly, Loona and a few other people in a house that dome suburban family was going to abadon (this is on an earth like planet. Like it's Earth, but Kim Kardashian doesn't exist)

They just end up settling in and going about life. Barbie, Kelly, and the others leave leaving the original seven inhabitants. Barriss rarely leaves the house and says her mother and stepfather might be looking for her when anyone asks. Barriss has a more grungy, less put-together style and makes money doing art and doing phone sex for a company that probably hadn't been in business since the 60's and was just starting back up.

Anywho main plot; Barriss actually leaves the house one day. Simple outfit; shredded black shorts, acid looking thigh socks held up with a garter belt and crop top cut just too short over a pair of fishnets she tore up to make an undertop. Smudged ass black and Grey makeup. You know the standard for the bitch who had to leave the house but because they don't want too society gets to see an edgy bitch.

Story under the cut

Anywho, she's grabbing the cheapest jellied cranberry sauce she can find, and of course, who does she run into but Kit Fisto. She grabs the can and tries to understandably book it to the next aisle, but Kit grabs her cart. Barriss looks him up and down like he just snatched her purse. Kit looks her up and down like she'd grown a horn. His glassy black eyes travel from her fried green and neon blue hair with the bright yellow tips. It's like he doesn't know who she is.

"Whats your fucking problem?" Barriss asked, harsher than she intended.

"Sorry." Kits apology flew out. He knew who he was looking at, but she didn't feel real.

He looked down at the screaming red and flashing neon blue box dyes in her cart. He tried to start a conversation, but his words failed him. Just as he let go of her cart, Obi-Wan turned the corner with Anakin and Ahsoka. Ahsoka actually dropped the vegetables in her hand.

"What?" Barriss asked.

"Your hair..." Obi-Wan stammered out. He was stunned. Mirialans weren't known for being expressive in the way they dressed. They where everything Barriss currently wasn't appearance wise.

"Its my hair. And tell Luminara to stop sending that cop by my house. I dont want to talk." Barriss stated before grabbing six cans of the jelly and leaving the aisle.

Ahsoka picked up the vegetables, fighting back tears. What had happened to her friend? Ahsoka ended up crying in the next aisle, unable to really process what had just happened. Meanwhile, Barriss was fuming pissed. Maybe it was because Obi-Wan had said something. What right did they have to be shocked? Barriss got home and put the food away, but ended up crying on the couch, telling Nahdar what happened.

A few weeks later, Barriss is on Courasaunt for something legal and ends up bumping into Kit again. This time, she's in a simple red leather dress and matching red Demonias. Her makeup looks better. So instead of looking deranged, she looks pretty. But sadly for Kit, she had that same angry look on her face. She walks past him and into Dex's and sits at the counter and speaks with a clone who now works there. He compliments the coverage of her white foundation, and Kit finds himself a little jealous, even though he can't really hear. Kit walks in and sits in the stool next to her and orders a caf.

Barriss immediately calls him out.

"Cant get enough of me?" She says with a coy smile.

"I like it when they'll stab me." Kit says jokingly.

Barriss rolls her eyes and drinks from whatever she'd ordered.

"Two years and I haven't so much as made a peep to you people. As soon as you see me you need to know everything. Why?"