#that's what was really heartbreaking

[hersurvival]

I left -

With bruises on my legs and scars from five puncture wounds, still healing, the stitches removed finally from the top of my hand, the space around where it was torn open by our dogs still numb, the bandages adhered to the skin of my arm, ripped it off in layers, forever a shadow of what happened.

I was beaten down, defeated, the tension in the air had our dogs fighting, and you slept as I screamed, as I begged and sobbed that they would please stop.

They were going to kill each other.

I had to slam open the bedroom door, crying, panicking that you help me pry them apart, I was already bitten, shaking, covered in spit and fur and blood.

And by the time we got them separated, the amount of red was astonishing, I lie on the carpet, fighting now for my own consciousness, bleeding onto the carpet in a haze of how quickly everything was ruined.

@nosebleedclub May 18th - Aftermath of The Heartbreak

[ryllen]

[ x ]

[shesmyevangeline]

not me crying over the ace rep in heartbreak high again. 'i feel like someone's always gonna be making a sacrifice if they'd want to be with me' i mean that shit hits so fucking hard. i've really never had a character i could relate to as much as i do to ca$h

[herbarimoon]

Some very self-indulgent Ochako breakdown doodles

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

*rolls up 15 years late with Avatar the Last Airbender thoughts*

So I've been rewatching clips from the show lately to refresh my memory while I'm writing my Zuko Alone fanfic. And last night I rewatched the clip where Iroh teaches Zuko how to redirect lightning and I have had thoughts about this scene for years so I might as well finally throw them into the void of tumblr.

So, this scene is insane to me, because at the end of learning how he could-hypothetically- redirect lightning, Zuko looks at Iroh and, completely seriously says "okay I'm ready to try it with the real thing now". Like, Zuko, the boy with a massive scar on his face from where his father burned him just looks at his uncle and says, "shoot me with lightning".

And yes, he's 16 and not thinking but that's part of the point because the amount of blind, complete trust Zuko has in Iroh to look at him and say "shoot lightning at me" after the insane trauma he had at the hands of his own father- that is WILD to me. Zuko literally trusts Iroh so much that he just assumes, without even having to think about it, that no matter how volatile and unpredictable the lightning is, Iroh won't hurt him because Zuko cannot fathom his uncle hurting him.

And of course, Iroh's appalled because Zuko's standing there with a massive scar on his face from when his father misused firebending against him and likewise, Iroh cannot fathom hurting Zuko. And since IROH knows how volatile and unpredictable lightning is and how it could literally kill his son nephew he is absolutely NOT going to use it just to let Zuko practice redirecting lightning, but he's so flabbergasted that Zuko would even ask him that that he just kind of splutters angrily that he will ABSOLUTELY NOT shoot lightning at Zuko. (it's also just another layer of how messed up Ozai is because he shot lightning at Zuko without a second thought later)

But I hope Iroh thought about it later and realized the amount of pure, unthinking trust Zuko has in him because ;-; the child didn't even THINK about it. "Okay uncle shoot lightning at me now. I know I'll be safe because it's you." I love them so much 😭😭

[htub]

I really like that they made Jor-El speak Kryptonian and Clark unable to understand him. The whole "aliens speak English" thing that happens in every goddamn media has bothered me all my life. Ik sometimes Clark just gets zapped in the brain for insta-second language but that always felt like a cheap shortcut.

Jor-El had a lot on his mind when he set up that magic spaceship okay. The world was ending and he was trying to do as much as he could before time ran out so he could be there for his son. He was rushing. He likely didn't consider Kal would be raised with a whole different language and not know any Kryptonian nor have anyone to teach him.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[lonelyspire]

another tidbit that is making me emotional in the septa scene is that rhaenyra has been so stiff since the beginning of the season, rigid with grief and having to hold herself in check because her council keeps undermining her, so she doesn't allow herself to emote very much besides expressing her sorrow but like. the second she's with alicent, particularly when speaking of the scenario of being found out and slain, she's back twenty years, making faces. the first few seconds especially, she's frowning and raising her eyebrows and scoffing etc but there's also an undercurrent of like rolling her eyes, of being facetious almost. and it's not an intensity that stems only from the urgency of the situation, it really is just how she reacts to alicent all the time, whether in the same room or miles away, there's always emotion bubbling out of her when it comes to alicent, and a fondness that can't be kept at bay, even when she's literally threatening to kill her (sort of in a jest) like. they're bound to destroy each other but also alicent is bringing something out of her that pierces through her heartbreak.

[thencomethecherryblossoms]

No babe I’m not crying I’m just remembering finding out what ca$h means

[thekorcariwilds]

[blueskittlesart]

at a certain point i think we need to acknowledge that art is very rarely created accidentally. if you can see a theme in a work than that theme was, more likely than not, at least somewhat intentional on behalf of the creator. you don't put a piece of yourself out into the world without thinking about what it means at least a little bit.

[little-mouse-adventures]

Currently thinking about Artemis's will in the code at the bottom of TLG and how it really kinda shows how strained his relationship with his dad still is. Everyone else gets something they're interested in or that Arty thinks they'd like (sound system for Juliet, frozen chicken for Mulch, ethical investments for his mother, etc) and yet for his father he leaves only bearer bonds, despite Artemis I trying to move away from a money-focused enterprise and lifestyle as of TEC. Not to mention it's Butler who would know how to disengage all the booby traps protecting said bearer bonds, further highlighting the difference in trust & familiarity Artemis has with everyone but his father.

[rayjayoo]

surprisingly back with more phos doodles wOOOOOO

[skitskatdacat63]

His eyes in this :((( I really hope he's alright

[lansangprincess]

i dont know how i can forgive the writers for giving me "you're my too much" from Darren in S1 for them to then say "the world can't always follow your rules" in S2 😔

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - 1x07