#and it was a season that made me genuinely laugh and cry and scream so

[lansangprincess]

i dont know how i can forgive the writers for giving me "you're my too much" from Darren in S1 for them to then say "the world can't always follow your rules" in S2 😔

[puckinghischier]

Taking Nico to Disney: Headcannons

i know this is a little…specific, but as someone who has both grown up going to and has worked at disney world…HEAR ME OUT!!!

- you’ve always wanted to go to disney with nico, but the timing has never been right with off-season training, play offs, his trips back home to visit his family, and whatever else comes up. but this time? this time you’re making it happen.

- the trip has been booked, flights arranged, and your glorious week of magic and quality time with nico was finally upon you.

- he’d be just as giddy as you are. the minute he found out about your love for the theme parks, he told you how he always wanted to go as a kid, but obviously a trip to orlando is hard for a swiss kid.

- he insisted on buying themed luggage, themed shirts, themed hats, and he even bought themed socks.

- when you mentioned matching shirts as a joke, his eyes lit up, excited at the idea. he’d search for hours for the funniest pairs, buying a couple of sets, but not telling you what they were until you were there.

- your first day, of course you’d go to the magic kingdom. you were so excited to see nico’s reactions to all of the fairytales come to life throughout the park.

- you made him walk in front of you as you walked backwards around the corner on main street, wanting to see his reaction to the castle for the first time. you were lucky he was so distracted by the large structure to notice your crying, his amazed eyes and small “wow,” as he stopped walking to take it all in really got your emotions stirred.

- he’d follow your lead all day, trailing behind you with a map while you yapped and explained all about your favorite things to do as a kid. eventually you’d take the map from him, telling him you know exactly how to get around the park. “schatz, i’m trying to see what rides i want to do, give it back,” he’d argue with a huff. “neeks, we’re doing everything, don’t worry about it.”

- you loved watching his excitement and wonder with every ride the two of you went on. your heart melted at his giggles at the scenes on pirates of the caribbean, him singing along to the german (and french) section of small world, his bewilderment at the special effects of haunted mansion, his foot taps to the beat and amusement during enchanted tiki room, his screams on space mountain, his competitiveness on the buzz light year ride, his need to lift dumbo to the top for the whole ride, and his genuine cackles at every joke during jungle cruise.

- he’d also make you stop every time he saw a photographer, wanting every picture he could get from this trip. you’d happily oblige, loving all of the different fun and cute poses the photopass photographers would have you do. and the pictures where they added little effects and characters? nico has every one saved to his phone.

- and the food? good lord nico was in calorie heaven. “what do you mean i can get a foot long hot dog?” “i read about this big ice cream sundae in a mickey sink, can we get one please?” “i can’t eat this pretzel…mickey’s looking at me!”

- speaking of mickey, when it comes time for the two of you to meet the famous mouse? nico is as excited as a kid (more than child in line in front of you, honestly). he’s nearly bouncing up and down by the time it’s your turn, speed walking to the small mouse and engulfing him in a crushing hug. mickey would point out your matching shirts, ‘laughing’ silently at his “we finish each other’s” shirt and your “sandwiches.” shirt. you’d watch nico’s chest puff out, proud he got a laugh out of mickey. your lock screen from that moment on is a candid picture of you laughing and nico’s own dimpled expression while both of you look at the mouse, amused with his implied words.

- when it comes to the fireworks at the end of the night, you’re camping out to make sure nico has the absolute best possible view. guarding your spot with your life as he goes and gets something for to two of you to snack on while you wait. “god, i’m glad you’re back, this women tried to sit her four kids down right in your spot!” you’d sigh in relief while he handed you a fried corn dog. “y/n…you should’ve just let the kids sit here, it’s fine,” he’d laugh out. “no! your first fireworks experience is going to be perfect,” you’d huff, crossing your arms in a pout.

- when the fireworks started, nico would do the cliche of standing behind you while wrapping his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder while your own hands rested atop of his wrapped around your waist. you’d hum along to the various songs incorporated into the show while nico watched intently, eyes sparkling with the images in the sky. he’d give little kisses to your cheek and neck during the section that showcases all of the different disney couples, whispering a small “thank you so much for bringing me here, i love you,” into your ear.

- the other parks? nico loved just as much. he spent hours in the star wars section of hollywood studios (and rode tower of terror as many times as you wanted). he enjoyed drinking, and more importantly eating, around the world in epcot, not caring about the amount of time he’d have to spend in the gym once the two of you got home. at animal kingdom, he’d keep dragging you from animal exhibit to animal exhibit, obsessively play carnival games in the dinoland section to win a stuffed dinosaur, and talk about how amazingly intense the avatar ride was for the rest of the day.

- and the second you two got back to jersey? immediately on the phone with his family, already planning a trip next off season to fly them out and take them with the two of you, wanting to experience the whole thing with his family like he wanted to when he was a little boy.

- and the next summer, when that trip came around, you got to watch him play tour guide to his parents and siblings. explaining to them everything you explained to him during his first trip. of course, like you always do, you started and ended your trip at magic kingdom. the last day of the trip with his family, though, he dropped to one knee during the fireworks and proposed to you right then and there. you always told him how even though people say it’s cliche, you always loved watching people get engaged in front of the castle, and now you were the one people were cheering and clapping for.

- and a year later, when the two of you were able to have the wedding of your dreams, the first place he flew you to was disney. you had booked an all inclusive, tropical island getaway for your honeymoon, but nico wanted to surprise you with a couple days in your his favorite place first.

- in true fashion, you started off your honeymoon in none other than magic kingdom. this time, however, any time the two of you would pass the spot where he proposed to you, he’d stop and tell anyone and everyone that walked by “this is where i proposed to her! and now she’s my wife!” while taking your wrist in his hand, holding your own up to show off the shiny ring on your finger. he’d even make you two get the matching bride and groom ear hats, customizing them with your wedding date. and the second he found out about the ‘happily ever after buttons?’ he was rushing to guest services to get a set for the two of you to wear (and he did, proudly, right on his chest).

- don’t even get me started on when the two of you decide to start a family, and your pregnancy is timed up perfectly with your (now annual) trip. you’d not only announce your pregnancy with a recreation of some themed announcement picture you found online, but also do your gender reveal the same trip. you’d take the sealed envelope to mickey, giving him the honor of revealing the gender of your unborn child.

- and the first trip the two of you take as a family of three?? oh god. nico is just…over the moon. he’s showing them everything, as if they’ll actually remember the trip. “and this is where your daddy proposed to your mommy, and this is where we told the world about you, and this is where your daddy ate a foot long hot dog for the first time, which is a really bad idea and he doesn’t recommend it,” he’d speak to your infant in a carrier strapped to his chest, bouncing and bobbing them along.

- and the year he lead the devils to a stanley cup win? you had the BIGGEST surprise waiting on him during the trip he still insisted your family go on. you arranged with the team to fly the stanley cup down to orlando for a day, and managed to get into contact with disney management, ensuring nico and your kids get their own, private meet and greet with mickey and the stanley cup. you worked with tom and the equipment managers and disney wardrobe experts themselves to special order a customized devils jersey for the mouse. so when nico rounded the corner into the large room, thinking it was your normal mickey greet, only to see mickey standing there, in a devils jersey beside of the cup sitting on a large table, the look on his face made all the planning and hassle worth it. the league had even sent representatives out to get their own promo pics, having nico pose with a stick in his own jersey beside the character. to this day, you still laugh at how it’s the league’s most liked picture on instagram.

- and as your family grew, the trips became better and better each year, but you always appreciated the times you and nico got to go without your kids, thinking back to that first trip you were able to show him your love for the place and watching his childlike wonder. he still tells everyone he proposed to you there every time you walk across your spot. he still points it out to your children every trip. he still makes sure your entire family is wearing matching shirts each trip. and he still has that first-trip wonder on his face each trip, still in awe of all the disney magic. but most of all, he’s in awe of you, the life you’ve built together, and your love of this place you poured into him resulting in the memories it holds for the two of you and your family.

[norrizzandpia]

okay i need an lando x reader now after p3 in qatar where he is finally happy again and the reader is the first who is there for him after the race.

Me when i have requests dating back all the way to last September! 😟

Look How Amazing You Are (LN4)

Summary: After Lando’s disastrous qualifying in Qatar and redeeming podium just hours later, Y/n is there to remind Lando of where his worth truly lies.

Warnings: references to q*t*r qual*fy*ng l*ndo (i sobbed for him that weekend), language, references to lando beating himself up (verbally not physically lol), talks of a marriage proposal

“AND IN COMES LANDO NORRIS! THE MAN STARTING AT P10 ONLY TO FINISH THIS RACE IN P3, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RACE FOR NORRIS!” The man screamed into the microphone as Lando zipped by in his favorite papaya car.

Y/n, tears in her eyes, flashed back to the night before as she stared at the TV in the McLaren Garage, her boyfriend finishing better than he had anticipated. He had cried in her arms as they sat on the hotel bed as she tried to remind him of all the accomplishments he had made so far in the 2023 season. He had argued with her, telling her none of that meant shit if he continued to screw up as he did in qualifying and she had countered back, fighting against the verbal abuse he was putting himself through.

To say the least, she was scared for this race. She knew if he finished poorly, he would’ve been destroyed. It was concerning slightly when she genuinely took a look at how much Lando put his self-worth into racing, knowing one wrong move and he was so incredibly heartbroken. She hated to see him get angry with himself over something so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. So, as she watched him rise above everything he had gone through the day before and finish on a podium, she was on the verge of crying.

Jon pushed through the people in the garage, making his way to Y/n and smiling widely at her, giddy over the boy’s achievement.

“Come on, Y/n! You can see him when he pulls up at the podium if we leave right now!” He grabbed her hand, dragging her out to the outside and down the pitlane to reach the big podium.

“Jon! I never go to the gates!” She laughed as he continued pulling her throughout the masses.

All he did was look back at her with a dismissive glance, “He’s going to want you to be there after everything that’s happened this weekend!”

They reached the mass of papaya colored engineers and Jon pulled her throughout them, pushing them and apologizing, before shoving her in the front and center of the group. Just as he got his phone out, hitting record on his camera and knowing he was about to capture something that would have fangirls swooning, Lando began slipping out of the seat in his car.

A flash of green helmet invaded her vision as Lando began sprinting toward the group, his visor up and eyes wrinkled with a smile hiding beneath the protective gear.

“I DID IT, Y/N!” He screamed over all the whooping and hollering, falling into her arms as he giggled with joy.

She smiled back just as excited for him, “YOU DID, LAN! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!”

Hands and arms from the engineers surrounded them, patting Lando’s back and congratulating him on his finish. Jon stood next to the couple, still recording and elated for Lando.

When the boy pulled back, his eyes bore into his girlfriend’s as she grabbed ahold of his helmet and said, “Before you go up there, can you please repeat after me?”

He cocked his head, nodding nonetheless.

She shook his head lightly, “You are amazing and no bad qualifying defines how amazing you are.”

She could see the blush that riddled his cheeks as he continued to nod at her.

“That’s not repeating!” She exclaimed, looking at him sternly but both knowing how much of her love was held in the moment.

“I’m amazing and no qualifying defines how amazing I am.” He said begrudgingly, still smiling at her from behind his green helmet.

She grabbed ahold of their interlocked hands and kissed the back of his, “Thank you. I love you so much.”

He hugged her once more, “I love you too. Thank you.”

Jon ended the video just as Lando skipped off to the podium, leaning towards Y/n and showing her his phone.

“Aww, Jon, can you send that to me?” She asked, hearing Lando’s voice played back as he repeated her words back to her.

He nodded, “Already done.”

—

“Thank you.” Lando whispered into the quietness of the night as Y/n laid on his chest, her hair sprawled out on the pillow on the side she was supposed to be one. Although, Lando had pulled her into him the moment they hit the mattress, telling her she would not be sleeping on her side of the bed at all that night.

Y/n turned her head, her chin propped against his chest so she could look at him, “For what?”

He stared at the ceiling, “For being there for me through it all. I was a mess last night and you still sat with me, tried to talk me out of everything I was feeling. Then, today you celebrated the podium with me, reminding me of how wrong my words were last night. I just-” He peered down at her, “I love you so much and I’m so grateful to have you.”

She smiled, “Lan, you’re so sweet. I love you too and I’ll always be here for you, no matter what it’s for.”

He nodded, “I know. Doesn’t mean I still can’t tell you how rare it is to have what I have, which is you.”

The darkness of the room masked her red cheeks, “Well, that’s very nice of you.”

She rested her head back down, hearing his heart beat faster than usual, “Why’s your heart going crazy?”

He laughed, “I think because I just realized I’m ready to start planning a proposal.”

Her mouth fell open and she sat up, “For marriage?!”

He got up, sitting next to her and nodding, “Yes, is that too soon for you?”

“No,” She said without hesitation.

“Good,” He gave, lying back down and pulling her with him.

His heart still beat quite quickly as she listened to it, and her body filled with warmth. Maybe that was because Lando was just warm or the fact that he just told her they would be getting engaged soon, she didn’t know. A mix of both, she thought.

“You’re about to make so many young girls mad.” Y/n joked, eyeing her left ring finger and imaging a band around it.

Lando just chuckled and shook his head, “As long as I make you happy, I think I’m good. Happy wife, happy life, and all that.”

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 2 thoughts

aegon screaming hysterically and smashing up viserys's model of old valyria…alicent unable to get through a sentence without sobbing…helaena staring blankly at the wall and clutching jaehaerys's blanket…i love acting but also that all kind of broke me.

genuinely i am enjoying tom glynn-carney as aegon SO much, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors on the show and gives his character so much nuance.

otto using his grandson's horrific death as a pr stunt…truly that man never stops working, he's always on the clock.

i also LOVED the big blowout fight scene between rhaenyra and daemon, it's about time someone dragged that man to hell and back. "the darkness you sheathe within yourself like a sword" and "i don't trust you" and "you're pathetic" go OFF rhaenyra!

criston please don't send someone else on a suicidal assassination mission because you were slacking your duty and banging alicent while the heir to the throne got decapitated. oh, who i am kidding, that man has never had a normal reaction to anything in his life.

i'm so glad we got an actual scene with baela (and the promise of more with her and moondancer in future weeks!) since she and rhaena have been horrendously underused so far.

aemond you have so many issues please go to therapy not a brothel. also i've blogged about this before but the idea that he really thinks he's an equal threat to daemon honestly is so silly.

alyn AND addam of hull spotted, we've got the complete set, and a little teaser of seasmoke as well!

the scene between corlys and rhaenys where corlys was like "if daemon would just submit to rhaenyra and enjoy being a bottom as i do on occasion" made me laugh so hard my sister asked me if i was okay.

i'm very intrigued by the scene between rhaenyra and mysaria (especially the mutual bonding over being exasperated by daemon) since they're technically on the same side but very much at odds in the book and i'm curious to know if this will continue in future episodes.

i really like that this season is emphasizing the perspectives of smallfolk like the hull brothers, hugh hammer, and the brothel mistress, it's something i felt was missing in season 1.

this really was an episode of targaryen men getting absolutely dragged by others for their poor political decisions. can't say i support otto's decisions most of the time but he was 100% correct about aegon.

also the moment where otto realized he had schemed for 20+ years to land a total idiot who just fired him on the throne…delicious, but rhys ifans played it so well i honestly still felt bad for him.

daeron mention! at this point i was honestly starting to think they had cut him from the show so that was a surprise.

as an identical twin i very much enjoyed the erryk and arryk drama but i must admit that i ALSO could not tell the twins apart when they were dueling. someone please revoke my twin card.

alicent walking into a room, seeing aegon crying, and just walking out was kind of funny ngl.

i really didn't expect criston and alicent's dynamic this season but i'm honestly enjoying it a lot. the mutual self-flagellation over their affair, alicent repeatedly slapping him and criston allowing it…really fun honestly.

caraxes is properly coming back next episode and it's true, i HAVE missed that noodle boy <3

also it looks like our first proper looks at harrenhal, moondancer, and a bracken vs. blackwood fight!

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED CYBERVERSE (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

—The 10 minute format was very comfy because i just could literally squeeze an episode on my school break or something

—I love the stylistic so much! Cartoony type of 3D oohhh yesss it was incredible for my eyes

—Ive heard that cbv is insane but nothing prepared me for the sheer SCALE of what happens here. It's everything i dreamt of in the tf franchise and i did not expect that fr, especially 3rd-4th season

—GAAAALSSS HAI GIRLLLLLSSSS HI GIRLIESSSSSS GIRLLLLSSSSSSS GIRLSSSSSS YAAAAAYYYYYYYY

—They made Grimlock a hot king and it's a good decision, i loved his story with the dinosaurs

—Windblade and Bumblebee have the cutest relationship ever ohmyygooood

—Teletraan x is a guy to kiss

—I believe that Starscream had the insanest story in cbv. Boy started a suicide cult and gave birth to scraplets and then escaped his therapist and became a judge of his universe because he led weird tentacle aliens to cybertron

—Grimlock and Arcee also have the cutest relationship ever

—Slipstream's death made me jump and bash my head into wall

—I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AT SHOCKWAVE'S GOOFY ASS ALTMODE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING 😭😭😭😭WHY DOES IT HAVE LEGS 😭😭IS THAT WHY HE'S ALWAYS ANGRY??? BECAUSE HE GOT THAT THING AS HIS FORM???? LMAAAAOOOO

—ALSO HIS GOOFY RELATIONSHIP WITH WHEELJACK AND SOUNDWAVE 💀💀💀IM CRYING YOU ARE FUCKING EX BOYFRIENDS DTOP

—On a more serious note his sacrifice was a very interesting point to character

—Cheetor's death actually made me cry because FUCKING HELL YOYE SO NICE..... His relationship with Bumblebee actually hurt my heart so bad what the FUCJ was that why must you kill me

—One of the most underrated optimuses imo, possesses all traits of tfp op and has them accented but somehow is ignored

—CLOOOOOOOBBBBEEEEERRRRRR CLLOOOOBERRRRRR LET ME HUG YOU KISS YOU CLOBBER PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE I WANT TO KISS YOU UUGHHHHHHHHH YOURE SO SWEEEEEEETTTTTT I CAAAANNNNTTTTT

—My favourite version of Soundwave. I was practically chewing on the screen every time he appeared, i was up from my seat when he was shown to grow warmer toward autobots/appreciate teamwork in season 3-4, and his death at the end made me SCREAM (as well as hot rod's comments. fucking hell dubstep compilation torture 💀💀)

—my first time seeing whirl he really is a bird

—SHADOWSTRIKERRRRR BUMBLEBEE HAIIIIIIIIIII

—(looks at bumblebee) shake your ass robot boy

—Thunderhowl and optimus should probably kiss

—Also i loved how this show goes well with the lack of humans

—Meteorfire and Cosmos have the cutest relationship ever

—The megop in cbv goes so hard it's unbelievable!!! They are so fucking divorced!!! They love each other!!! They hate each other!!! They're so disgusting and stupid I'm in love

—DINOBOTS HAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII

—The quintesson thing was actually my favourite because of the overall atmosphere and the character interactions, it really showed them all well

—MMACCADAM YYYAAAAAYYYYY MY FAVOURITE GUYYYYY AHHHHHHH WEIRD ASSS GRAMDPA RAHHHHH YOURE SO COOL AAAAAHHHHHHHH

—I absolutely loved weird aliens in this show

—Skybyte and jetfire were insane with their dramatic rivalry

—SOUNDWAVE AND SOUNDBLASTER ENEMIES FOREVER BECAUSE OF BEATBOX MATCH 💀💀💀💀💀💀

—genuinely i loved all of the introduced characters!!!!!!!

—and, of course. the twitch stream funeral

[ardenation]

THOUGHTS ON (some of) SWEET TOOTH SEASON 3

Just my rambles. Also I only remembered sweet tooth existed 2 days before the third season came out so I quickly re-watched season 2 and then season 3 right after AND WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS SHOW.

spoilers under the cut

Okay, I can't remember which order the episodes are so I'm winging it here and just word vomiting. in my defense my best friend is away camping and I have nobody to yap about this to so tumblr gets it instead.

The first thing I can remember is that whole thing with the bat kid. OH MY GOD. that poor kid man. it's so awful how his parents raised him to believe that what he was was unfit for society, below humans, and not natural. no kid should have to grow up like that. I don't completely blame the parents, but there were some very, very bad decisions made. and the fucking scene where the dad tries to cut off the baby's hybrid traits??? I got SO reminded of when Gus' antler was cut off. baby boy was mutilated. but the difference between the scene with the baby and gus was that nobody was there to stop it from happening. nobody was there to wrangle the saw out of that guy's hands. bruh. tears. I fucking hate it here.

also live laugh love Rani <33

uhh I dunno what comes after that so let's jump to the boat episode! *laughs nervously*

That. freaking. episode. broke me. I didn't even want to keep watching after that (lie) because it was just so incredibly awful. just when they walked onto that boat for the first time and It was dead silent? goosebumps. especially after finding that dead body. by the way, this is when I started to dislike Dr. singh. bro fell way off after Rani left. anyway, I did not trust Darwin AT ALL when he was introduced. I thought he was shady as all hell. Glad I was proved wrong in the end, though. not important. let's talk about those dead bodies and what Gus had to do because that is a whole rodeo.

I admit, when I first heard he was going to have to find and toss dead bodies overboard my first thought was 'FUCK yes trauma angst trauma angst trauma angst' because what can I say, it's how my brain works. it started off pretty chill, the deer boy doing some nice yardwork and tossing the flowers overboard. okay. this is fine. oh, shit, now he's found dead bodies. oh my god he's crying. oh my god i'm crying. MY BABY. MY BABY BOY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU?! anyway that was probably the most fucked up thing I have ever watched in my life. kill me. kill me- and the fact that he kept all the people's little things as ways to remember them? what the fuck. what the hell netflix. why would you do this. he's just a little kid. I'm going to kill someone. ALSO I fucking KNEW Darwin was going to get sick. I was watching it with my little sister, and when he popped up I went 'bet you Gus is gonna look away and darwin's finger is gonna start twitching' then BOOM. also, that makes it so much worse. at this point I was like, how many more people is this poor kid going to to lose? WHY IS HE SO TRAUMATIZED???

hahaha. boy oh boy.

side note, why was Siana and Birdie actually so cute? I would've loved for their relationship to be explored more before... yk. and Nuka?? my baby. my darling. she means everything, actually.

wait what happens next?? idk

episode 7 time! or at least the end of it.

first of all, FUCK YOU DR. SINGH. I LIKED YOU AT THE START BUT NOW?.ALL THIS DESTINY BULLSHIT 'it's my destiny to kill gus' BRO YOU JUST SAID YOUR DESTINY IS TO MURDER AN INNOCENT CHILD?? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS WHY RANI LEFT. and when Adi was getting closer and closer to stab Gus, when he was screaming and kicking, I was actually going to vomit and cry. what the actual fuck. why is this show so incredibly messed up. it's not even funny. this is the most disturbing shit I have seen in a while which is saying a lot. the sheer horror of the things in this show once you start to think about it is insane. anyway before that whole thing I genuinely thought 'hm I think that blood on Adi's knife in the vision thing is actually big man's blood because he probably protected gus' and I was half right? I was not expecting Birdie to be killed AT ALL. It totally took me by surprise. once again, this show is so horrifying and sad. Gus crying over Birdie. i'm going to die. he's an orphan. why is this stupid world so mean to this kid?? he's turning into fucking Peter Parker for god's sake! I really, really thought big man was going to die in that cave. and imagine if he did? Gus would've lost both his parents AND his father figure in just a few months. I would've lost my mind. anyway. birdie's dead. jesus fucking christ. WHY. JUST WHY. NETFLIX, STOP HURTING MY BOY.

Alright, let's see if I can remember literally anything that happens in episode 8.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster fr. I felt like I was getting emotional whiplash every five seconds. he's gonna die! wait, he's gonna live! now this guy is actually gonna murder Gus! wait, now this guy turned good and saved him! holy shit, everybody is going to die- holy shit EVERYBODY IS DEAD! wait, Gus cut himself to bleed on a tree and now they're alive! oh my god, Gus finally snapped! wait, now his dead dad is popping up and convincing him to save people again! OH MY GOD BECKY IS DEAD! WAIT OH MY GOD SHE'S ALIVE! (I think that one was the worst) NO is big man going to die on that mountain?? oh good he's not! omg jordan actually died in the crash!

....there was no resolution to that one. good riddance. sorry Jordan fans.

and then we had the whole reveal of Gus being the narrator the whole time- how tf did I not predict that?? Also, am I the only one who doesn't like stuff that does those huge timeskips where it shows the main characters when they're old. is it just me who doesn't like it. okay i'll go

let's talk about Gus and Wendy for a second. honestly, throughout the whole of season 2 and three there was a little nagging voice in my head saying 'it's a boy and a girl interacting.... you know they're going to end up together' and I would tell my head 'stfu, I wouldn't really like that because there are no good girl boy friendships in any media ever that's completely platonic (mostly, anyway)'. I was hoping SO SO badly Wendy and Gus would stay platonic besties forever, simply because it's cute and stuff like that barely happens. praying to GOD. but I knew deep down it was hopeless from the start. I don't like when media does that. 'oh, look! it's a boy and a girl of the same age meeting as kids! OBVIOUSLY the only possible route to go from here is romance, RIGHT?' I mean i'm biased as a gay enby chronically online person who thinks these stereotypes are shit but it's true. don't get me wrong. I love wendy. I love her so, so so much. but just- WHY?! I was at least hoping it would be somebody we didn't know or something. oh well.

i mean, I guess they only held hands a few times and sat together as old people, so maybe there's a tiny little chance it wasn't romantic? but they also had grandkids. yk what fuck canon. they're old besties. I think they'd be cute either way but I just prefer them friends.

SO. the sweet tooth fanfic community. it's admittedly nonexistent. I went to check the tag earlier and like- what?? it's ALL weird shit. there was like three good ones but just like why Is that all of what's in our fandom?? guys, we have not done well.

I call upon all ao3 authors and encourage them write sweet tooth (if you want to). It doesn't even matter if it's a short fluffy or angst drabble, we just need to wash the weird shit out. go ahead and post that 200 word interaction you wrote between big man and Gus in the aftermath. we need more good fic in this fandom, DESPERATELY.

and why did the writers put Gus through so much. like his dad dies, he's captured, traumatized, mutilated, shot in the leg, shot in the back, traumatizedx100 on the boat, watches his mom get murdered to protect him, has his father figure almost die multiple times, has a scientist try to kill him with a knife while holding him down multiple times, fucking snaps, and idek. WHYYYYYY. WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO DESERVE THIS?? WHAT DID ANYBODY DO IN THIS SHOW TO DESERVE ALL THAT HAPPENED TO THEM?????? man....

I think that's all that's in my brain? this wasn't really a review just me spitting words.

moral of the story, I have adopted Gus and that is that. if you managed to get through all this you have a longer attention span than everybody I know combined when they try to listen to me ramble so congrats lmao

and I know I only brought up a few things but don't even get me started on Zhang, Rosie, and her kids because I will not shut up. and Jordan. Jordan why did you do that. and Munaq, that poor guy. ANYWAY I gotta stop talking now cuz it's 9:45pm byeee

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 14th April ✨

Oh my god, the audio sure did drama this week!!  

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E7.5) HOW did none of us put this together sooner?! Oh my god, what an absolutely INCREDIBLE little twist. I love the undercurrent of hopeful resilience in Tell No Tales (Leo is going to get with the programme really soon 🤞) and I am screaming, crying and throwing up imagining the end of season reunion 😭 HOWEVER, don’t think I missed for a second that Riley is asking for another packet of painkillers . . . it would be so like him to think that 16 paracetamol is two doses of paracetamol but still! He needs to be okay!!

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (147) hhhhh what a GOOD episode. There’s something different about the horror of season 4 that I want someone with a literature degree to talk to me about for hours. Can we please talk about how the murder victim had a treble clef carved into them . . . i.e. the symbol at the start of a piece of music. It’S SO CLEVER I love the intricate details of this show!!!!! And, can we also talk about how emotional I feel about Clem (namer of everything) is in love with Shelby (has a cat named Cat). There’s something in that which is giving me palpitations. 

🦀 @thesiltverses (39) You wouldn’t think one would be happy to have silt in their ears, but I am!! I’ve missed this story so much and I loved the twist in this episode. Carson has practically wrapped Shrue in a bow and handed them to Carpenter and Hayward. I can’t WAIT for that conversation. 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (17) Oh this is so beautiful! Do humans do this with ice?? I think we should 1000% do this with ice! I don’t have voting privileges (yet 💸) but I think they should go easy on their foes in the snowball fight. I would love to see how adorably smug Óli is if allowed to win 🥺

🤴 Inco @itmeblog (S3E20-34) If anyone takes SAWA away from Nova again I am going to throw HANDS. I’ve always considered SAWA to be endearingly overbearing with her prompts to Nova but we got such a good glimpse of how vital she is in the library/archives and I love her 😭

♦️@grottopod (8) Grotto finale! I loved the music at the start of this episode and it was so satisfying to hear David get to express some of his frustrations. Season two sounds like it’s going to be wild. 

⚔️ @camlannpod (7) This episode KILLED me. Here are the quotes that made me scream: “GWEN: You can’t love the mental illness out of someone.”  (10/10, true, valid, hurts) “PERRY: Eat a dick, Kay.” (11/10 the crowd goes WILD) “RHIANNON: (calling to the group as they leave) Cousin. About your lover. You didn’t fail him. You just needed more time.” (1/10 OW?????? OW OW WHY? OW!!!!) “MORGAN: You’re just as bad as Arthur. Worse. At least he was honest about it.” (??/10 JAW ON THE FLOOR) I need this podcast forever 🥺

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (11) Oooh I liked this episode!! I love it when you’re left to fill in the blanks in a horror story - my mind is still whirring through so many awful scenarios. 

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XXXIV-XXXV) ah! I’ve accidentally caught up to Not Quite Dead! What will my Sunday afternoons look like now?? There were so many moments in these eps which made me laugh but I’m mostly just so in awe of how complex and real these characters are. Neige genuinely feels 10000 years old and shaped by the trauma of each of them. I need to check the release schedule because I cannot wait for more!! 

Have a good week of listening, everyone! 🌈

[6okuto]

TALK ABOUT AIS!!! PLEASEEEEEJFHSIAJSIDJIAIAISIDJJ!!!!i swear nobody talks about that man

AIS HCS 3

gn!reader | Hello. ive sunafied this guy more than i should've...My bad. also don't remember what hcs i've said b4. oh mein gott....

not a headcanon but a vision . ais pulling up to a mcdonalds drive-thru in a tiny car made for kids. you know those toy ones. or like...a scooter... also starbucks pup cups 👍

just a Little suggestive // wears a stupid shirt to sleep. i can't explain this but he looks like he has a collection of (ironically) silly shirts he wears around the house alongside regular tees / tank tops. for special occasions you know. U think ur going to Bang and he comes out w the breaking bad walter white on the floor photo on his chest like Where did you get that. i need it

watches a wwe fight and says i could do that. says he'll have to remember that for later. ? when? later when? bro?

will watch a sad movie with you and at the sight (or sound) of you crying tries to make you laugh. if it doesn't work because wow this crying is Serious he pulls you into him and rubs your arm, passing you tissues with the other hand

^ me personally i will genuinely have tears streaming down my face and let out a very loud sob before saying "i'm not even crying bro" and i think he'd find that very amusing and say "yeah of course you aren't" while putting the tissue box in my lap

you know how tinder suggests "conversation starters" to send but they're like. really bad. he'd use them on you and pretend like you've just started talking

good at laser tag. like freakishly look at laser tag. Sneaky Guy.... he tricks you into thinking he's casual about it before shooting you out of nowhere

times his trip to the movie theatre so he can watch one movie then sneak into another one right after. he has a bag of food so he doesn't have to go get more popcorn Or he brings you with him so together you can do two popcorn runs if needed

if you're like Me and take silly photos of your dolls or plushies? ais would do it too. why is bro setting up a whole scene and drama and sending you pics while you're not home with Your plushies. good news is that through trial and error he gets a really good understanding of your characterization of them. like no He would NOT murder but SHE would! and he respects that.

does the thing where if you ask him to do something he says no while doing it. he's just like me fr

Once a seasoned leader.... Ok. i need a scene where ais's Leader Traits Appear. i know he's attractive while taking charge or whatever....red spring studio i know you have my back (pleading) (begging) (manifesting)

gets a genuine compliment from you and doesn't know what to do with himself. can't even bring himself to think of a witty reply, at least not quickly. "not used to you being so nice." Well watch your back bro.....

@lost-lonnie @screaming-wea-sel @dreamtydraw @respitable @semifilms @hexcoeur @cvhenia @mitskiologist

[mekochansblog]

Do you still... love me?

 Five Hargreeves x reader

- middle of season 3 so spoilers if you haven’t seen it.

- angst and sad and the ending was a little rush.

- warnings: mentions of death, slight cursing, Five being an asshole.

- pt. 1

Pt. 2 here

Everyone landed in the living room. They all gasped for air like they had been underwater for too long and were finally catching their breaths. You looked at your husband, and he looked back at you and smiled at you; he grabbed you by the waist and kissed you. Once you have wanted for a while. Since you first traveled in 2019, Five started being distant. He will be curt with you, look at you as if you asking a genuine question was dumb, and bring Dolores wherever you keep going.

It hurt to see the man you have been loving since the apocalypse slowly and not so gently stop giving you affection and love. You breathed in and out and held Five's hand. You all walked to the bar.

And that's when you heard Diego, "Why is there a picture of Ben in the mantle piece?"

You also looked at it and sighed, a tired and heartbroken sighed, you knew what that would mean. You looked at your husband again, and he looked at the picture of his supposedly deceased brother. You knew then that this little affection you were barely feeling would fade later. You wanted to cry, scream, fall, and stay on the floor. You loved your husband, how couldn't you? You guys have been married for more than 30+ years, but ever since coming back from the first apocalypse to the second one, you have felt like all the love and affection you had a while ago has been gone. You've felt insecure, cold, and most of all useless because that's one of the words that Five said when not all his siblings made it in time when he had the briefcase the handler gave him.

You have felt like it's better off with you gone. It felt like he didn't need you anymore. When Reginald Five's father introduced the new sparrow academy, you felt Five yank his hand away from you. You side-eyed him for a while before looking around and slowly walking away. You didn't notice that Diego was staring at you, and he was the one that saw your eyes tearing up. He knew you were broken. Seeing your eyes go from bright and shine that you used to have; to a dull and lifeless color. Seeing his brother turn cold with his sister-in-law made him feel awful for you. He knew that you love Five with all your heart. He has seen you talk about his sarcastic brother with so much fondness and love. It broke him when you didn't stick around.

When everyone started fighting, you calmly and slowly walked around the familiar house you were in a year ago. Yes, you spend almost a year in the '60s. It was painful being just 20, with no one but yourself. You saw Five fighting the girl with black hair when you walked back. She spits something on him, and by the time you ran to where they were, she had run off, not before punching you in the eye. You were going to have a black look later on.

When you turn to Five, you hear him say, "Delores."

With so much fondness, that may be your breaking point. Feeling useless was one thing, but him not caring or thinking about you? It broke you. Maybe that's why the handler looked at you with such malicious and fake pettiness when she said Five didn't love you anymore. How could you forget the quote she told you before you and Five left the commission when trying to save his family from the first apocalypse?

"Isn't it ironic Y/N?" The handler said.

"What?" You looked at her.

"You know, Five ignores the one person that adores him, and you adore him, the one person he's pretty much ignoring; you love the one person who's hurting you, but Five is hurting the person that loves him, and that's you," She said while laughing at you.

The irony.

Maybe she was right.

You walked away from Five, away from everyone, and got out of the house. You started mindlessly walking around, hoping your feet would take you somewhere, somewhere far away from there. You looked up once your feet stopped walking. 'Hotel Obsidian,' well, you might as well walk in. It's not like anyone misses you at all. Don't worry; they just decided to leave you; they don't care, Y/N. So you started silently crying and walked to the front office.

"Ex-excuse me?"

The man, whose name was "Chet," is what it said on his nametag, looked at you and smiled. "How can I help you today, miss?"

You smiled, well tried, "One room, please."

He decided to give you the room for free; instead, you could repay him by helping around since he told you it looked like you had just lost your soul. So technically, you lost your heart, but that doesn't matter anymore.

MEANWHILE WITH, THE ACADEMY

They met in a park surrounded by benches; everyone was either in pain or just trying to get used to the beat they just took. So while everyone was arguing, one of them noticed the lack of their sister-in-law.

"W-wait wait, where's... where's Y/N?"

And that's when they all looked around at Klaus's words. Five looked around and noticed you had yet to be around. Diego then looked at Five, stood up, and grabbed him by the collar while his sibling tried to stop him.

"You did something, didn't you?! You know I've been noticing that your wife looks like she wants to disappear from us! Like she-she wants to..." Diego trailed off, not wanting to say the next thing.

"Die," Klaus said, and everyone looked at him, shocked, even Five. "She looks like she wants to die because you've been acting like a total asshole to her; you've also been calling her names and acting like she doesn't exist, more like she's not even your wife, just an acquaintance."

"Wh-what, no, I haven't." Five said, oblivious to how you've been feeling since all he had cared about has been saving the world and his sibling, but then he thought about it; when was the last time he gave you a hug or an affectionate kiss? When was the last time you gave him one of your smiles? When was the last time he made you feel special? When was the last time you talked about not being related to the apocalypse?

Hell, he didn't even know where you were. Did he make you walk away from everything because of how he treated you? Diego let go of him and sat down; everyone stared at Five, wanting to know what he would do. So he stood up and asked Klaus if he knew where you could have gone, to which he said he did not know, but he had a feeling. So all six walked to the hotel Klaus was talking about, hoping you were there.

MEANWHILE WITH YOU

You had on an apron and started walking to Mr.Pennycrumb, Chet's puppy; you smiled at the dog while he licked you. Chet told you, you could run the front office while he took a break. While you were doing your own thing, of course, with the lovely company of the puppy, you heard the bell ring. So you put on your beautiful smile and walked to the front.

Hi, welcome to Hotel Obsidian; how may I help you?" You said with a closed-eye smile.

"Y/N!?"

You looked at who it was, and your body froze. It was your family-in-laws and your husband. You tried to smile, but seeing your husband made you stagger for a bit; you wanted to run, wasn't that part of why you walked away? You looked down and tried to blink the tears away. Gosh, why the fuck were you crying? He fucked up Y/N, not you; you didn't do anything wrong except give him love and attention.

"Y-Y/N? Darling, can.... can we talk, please?" Five said he was going to hold your hand, but before he could touch you, you backed away.

Five has never hurt you physically, but mentally... yes. Five knew he fucked up. Since when were you scared to hold his hand? When did you become so... afraid of him? He treated you like shit, called you names, and ignored you for Dolores; how could he let you be in so much pain?

"I-I'm sorry, Five, I do- I don't want to talk to you. So here are your keys. Have a nice stay." So you said and grabbed Mr.Pennycrumb and strolled to the back.

While you stayed in your room, Five stayed in his. He tried so hard to talk to you; he begged you to speak to him. This was torture. Is this how you felt? Was this all coming back to bite him in the ass for treating you like you didn't matter. Later on the day, you did open the door for him. Not because you wanted to but because you wanted to hear why? Why was he mistreating you? Did he not love you anymore? So when he came into the room and sat down, you asked him.

"Do you still...love me? Am I even someone you want to be with?" You asked him while you hugged the puppy, Mr.Pennycrumb giving you the comfort that Five once used to do. Five looked at you with such a guilty look. Has this been playing on your mind? Did he make you so insecure that you didn't know if he loved you?

“There’s never a day where I don’t think about you darling. I’m sorry I made you feel this way.. the way I treated you was something I promised you when we said our vows that I will never do… I love you darling I still do.” Five said with tears streaming down his eyes like waterfall. You looked at him and bit your lip. Where you scared to believe him? Yes, how could you not be? He disrespected you in ways he promised and vowed he will never.

“I- I don’t know what to tell you Five. You broke me in ways you said you will never will. How can I believe you? What if you go back on your words?” You said with a tremble in your voice. Five looked at you and gently held your hands with his. You felt him rub the back of your hands soothingly.

“I promise Y/N that I’ll be different, I don’t want to loose my sweetheart because I was being an asshole.” He whispered so gently to you, you felt like if he said it louder it will break the way he looked at you. You gently smiled and nodded slowly your head. We can see how it goes you thought. You wanted to believe him. It might take a while for that to happen but you knew if you wanted it to work it will take a while.

"I still love you with all my heart. I'm sorry I made you feel this way; you should have never had or needed to feel this way." He slowly stood up and gave you a hug you'd wanted for a long time. You started sobbing, the puppy running away from your arms. Five knew he needed to show you that he still loved you, and he would make sure he didn't let this happen again.

He'll kill himself before he hurts you again.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Daryl Dixon x she/her!reader

spoilers: set in season 3

trigger warning: reference to verbal/mental domestic abuse

Waiting In The Wings

Being in love was not something Daryl Dixon enjoyed. For the longest time, he denied the mere possibility of it, he never thought that somebody like him would experience such a thing. But when you arrived in his life, blinding in the most beautiful way, you changed everything. It was like Daryl’s world stopped, because it realised that it’s whole purpose was to revolve around you.

It was all the way back in Atlanta, he was out on a hunt when you arrived at the camp, and by the time he came back you’d already introduced yourself to everyone. As soon as you saw him, you walked over to him with the brightest smile he’d ever seen, and held out your hand.

“Hi! Im (Y/N), you must be Daryl! Rick told me all about you!” You were so cheerful, so genuinely happy to meet him, he couldnt believe it.

The scoff that passed Daryl’s lips was automatic, but unintentional, and the same can be said for the words that followed. “He tell ya t’ come talk to me too?”

You laughed, you genuinely laughed, as though you thought Daryl had been joking and not verbalising his own insecurities. “No, silly! I wanted to meet you myself, it’s only right, you’re part of the group and we’re new here, so-“

Daryl frowned at you. “We?”

You nodded. “Yeah, me and-“

A gruff voice shouted your name from within a tent, and you jumped, your smile falling as you turned to look at the man clambering into view behind you.

Daryl was angry, he couldnt help it, nor could he understand it. Such a pure joy had survived in you, but that man had the audacity to steal it whenever he made an appearance. That anger stayed with Daryl, but somehow it didnt keep you away. You chose to sit with him to eat whenever he wasnt away on a hunt, you made conversation with him wherever you could. He couldnt fathom it.

By the time the group found the farm, you’d managed to break through some of Daryl’s hard exterior. He allowed himself to enjoy your company, to actually have decent conversations with you that werent almost completely one sided from you. Whenever you were with Daryl, he made you laugh harder than anyone else, you never lit up quite like you did when he was around. The rest of the group noticed, of course, but they wouldnt dare interfere. And just like Daryl, they knew the asshole that was your boyfriend.

More times than Daryl could count, he’d found you sobbing silently, all by yourself in various places across the farm, in the dead of night. And every single time, he’d sit with you, wrap an arm around you, and wait. Sometimes, you wouldnt say anything, just cry it out, thank him, and go. But sometimes, you would tell him what had happened, what that fucker had done to make you cry this time. Daryl tried his absolute best not to be insensitive, not to tell you to “just leave him”, because he knew you too well, he knew that wouldnt get through to you. So he just listened, and comforted in the best way he knew how: protective silence.

The mornings after nights like that were always a little awkward, because you would walk up to Daryl like everything was fine, and he wouldnt be able to just play along.

“He doesnt hit me or anything, it’s fine.” You told him once while the two of you ate breakfast at his camp, a safe distance away from everyone else.

Daryl turned to look at you and you avoided his eyes, knowing you wouldnt like whatever he was about to say, because you knew it would be true. “Don’ downplay it, y’know it aint right. Hittin’ ya would just make it more obvious.”

But Daryl knew you too well. No matter how many times that asshole screamed in your face, threatened to leave you, called you every unholy thing under the sun...you couldnt leave him. You’d explained it to Daryl once before, completely by accident. You’d casually brought up how disconnected you felt to the world before, to who you were before all of this, and that your boyfriend felt like your one last living connection to both. It wasnt in Daryl’s heart to agree, but he understood. If you lost that last connection, you thought you’d lose everything, every trace of the person you were and the life you had, everything else you’d lost would go with him. Daryl didnt have that, but he didnt need to, because he had you as his best friend. It didnt matter that he didnt know you before, because he was head over heels with who you’d become.

Naturally, your boyfriend and Daryl did not get along. While Daryl’s disliking to him was justified, your boyfriend despised Daryl simply because he made you happy, and took you away from him, the man you were supposed to love. Time and time again, Daryl would see him yell in your face and you would cower away, but anytime your boyfriend tried to get at Daryl, you would lose it. He couldnt believe the first time he saw you give that fucker a piece of your mind.

“This piece of shit redneck aint got nothin’ on me, I could take him out in a heartbeat, and I will if I see him near you again!” Your boyfriend threatened, and Daryl took a step forward, ready to stand in front of you and defend himself, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Leave him the hell out of this! In fact, leave his name out of your mouth entirely, because if I hear you say shit like that again I’ll spin your fucking jaw.” You seethed, before storming past your boyfriend, deliberately slamming into his shoulder as you pulled Daryl away, leaving both men stunned.

It was an altercation just like that one which resulted in you and your boyfriend being separated when the farm fell. He’d found you and Daryl laughing together in a secluded part of the farm, and got so mad he stormed off into the wilderness. Nobody bothered to follow him, and you didnt see him again until you saw walkers tear his stomach open and pull his intestines out right in front of you.

Daryl had just been racing towards you on his bike to rescue you, but when he followed your eyes and witnessed that, then saw you start to go into hysterics before you fainted in the middle of the field, it was all or nothing. He jumped off his bike and ran to you, shoving walkers left and right to keep them away as he swung you up in his arms and ran with you back to his bike. He rode to the highway with Carol, while you laid unconscious between his body and the bike to keep you from falling.

That gorgeous smile, his favourite laugh in the world. They became distant memories. Daryl used to be able to make you smile and laugh more than anyone else, he could barely manage to bring them back most days. Even finding the prison didnt pull you out of the deep abyss you’d lost yourself in.

Daryl shares a cell with you in the prison now. Every single night, without fail, he hears you in the bunk above him, waiting until you believe he’s asleep before you let yourself break into a thousand pieces, sobbing as quietly as you can into your pillow until you pass out. Daryl has tried talking to you about it, but you just shrug it off, apologising lamely for potentially keeping him awake but never saying more than that. These days, you cant even make it out of your cell. Your only movement is travelling from your top bunk to Daryl’s bottom bunk once he’s no longer in it, because Hershel comes to check on you everyday and it’s much easier for him to talk to you when you’re in the bottom bunk. By no means is Hershel particularly trained in aiding this kind of thing, but he’s the wisest person in the prison, the most trusted one to deal with your fragile state, apart from Daryl. Other people come to visit you too, Rick drops by every once in a while, Beth and Maggie too. Daryl even brought Judith in to see you once, and you burst into tears at the sight of her, it was just too much for you.

Anytime Hershel goes to see you, Daryl waits down the corridor for Hershel to walk by, and tries to get him to give him an update on how you’re doing, or what you’ve said. Daryl is your best friend, there are some things you just cant tell him because it’ll hurt him to hear you’re in so much pain.

“How’s she doin’?” Daryl asks the moment Hershel rounds the corner. Hershel used to jump at the sight of Daryl waiting for him, but now he’s used to it.

He sighs. “It’s private, I will tell you no more than the fact that she doesnt want to end her life.”

That is music to Daryl’s ears, and he doesnt pester Hershel anymore, letting the wise man pass him by.

Hope is restored in Daryl then, and he forms a plan. It’s a very vague plan, but still a plan. Before now, he didnt know if there was any way for him to help, or if it was even possible, but hearing even the tiniest ray of a positive sign from Hershel gave Daryl the determination to try anything. He was already eating every meal with you because he knew even if you didnt feel like eating, you’d get hungry watching him eat and wouldnt be able to resist. But Daryl starts doing more. Every single day, he brings you a flower. Just one, everyday. Once he’s picked every flower within the fences, he goes beyond the fences everyday to bring back a single flower for you, not that he’d ever tell you that he potentially risks his life for that. The smile on your face, however small, is genuine whenever he brings you one, a smile so small that other people probably wouldnt even notice it, but Daryl does, and that alone makes it absolutely worth it.

His own smile lingers on his face as he patrols the fence, hours after giving you your daily flower and seeing a glimmer of you returning to yourself. The sun is setting, and Daryl’s just returning back to the prison doors when he sees something that stops him dead in his tracks. You, walking outside, squinting in the light and shielding your eyes. Daryl sprints up to you.

“Hey there sunshine! What’re you doin’ up?” His voice is soft with you, it always has been, but lately it’s been even softer because he knows how fragile you are.

You smile at him then, not quite your beaming bright smile, but almost. “Felt like it was time to get some air.”

Hershel’s standing behind you, smiling away like he knows something, because he does.

That night, you dont cry yourself to sleep.

Daryl waits until he hears soft snores before he allows himself to fall asleep, but your crying wakes him. You may not have cried yourself to sleep, but you started crying in your sleep.

Daryl stands up from his bunk and gently shakes you awake.

“Hey, hey, (Y/N), wake up, yer alright.”

Once your eyes open and you realise where you are, you shakily climb down the ladder and Daryl picks you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style.

“C’mere sweet girl, ‘s alright, yer alright, I’ve gotcha.”

He sits back in his bunk, letting you lie between his legs with your head on his chest, he plays with your hair and draws patterns on your arm to calm you down. It takes maybe fifteen minutes for your tears to stop, but he waits, and they do.

“It isnt grief that’s doing this.” You say suddenly, finding your voice.

“What?” Daryl asks, beyond confused by such a simple confession. Not once had he considered that you were dealing with anything else, he’d seen other people grieve, he saw what happened to his dad as a result of grief. The catalyst of this was the death of your boyfriend, how could it possibly be anything else?

“It’s guilt.” You say, only leaving Daryl with more questions.

“What d’ya mean?” He speaks into the dark, willing to wait forever if that’s what it takes for you to find the words you need. Much to Daryl’s surprise, though, it seems that you’ve been spending all this time in the prison finding the words, because you start speaking them right away.

“Seeing him die, it hurt, it made me feel like I’d lost something, but it didnt feel like I’d lost someone I loved. I didnt love him in the end, I couldnt. He was the last connection I had to the world before, but he was a dick, I knew that, and I was stupid to stay with him for the sake of nostalgia.” You shake your head, clearly disappointed in yourself, but Daryl is still confused as to why. “It isnt so bad because he definitely didnt love me either.” You say, reciting a truth you knew to be real, one that you’d recited to yourself time and time again while coming to terms with all of this.

“Then what are ya feelin’ so guilty about?”

Daryl questions, wondering if now that he knows it isnt grief at the root of this, whether there’s more he can do to help.

You take a deep breath. “I fell out of love with him long before finding your group, and it was only when I did that I realised, because I fell in love with someone else. Every single day, I knew it was there, but I ignored it, pushed it away. Seeing him die made me realise that I’d wasted so much time on him, if the one I loved had died in his place that night...” You shake your head frantically, wiping your eyes with balled fists before resting back against Daryl’s chest. “I should’ve admitted my feelings, to myself and to him. I feel guilty for not ending things with him, for not letting myself move on with someone who was so much better for me, for forcing that person to sit and watch me pretend to love someone else. And now I feel even worse, because while I’ve been stuck like this, the guy I’ve been scared to adore has been taking care of me.” You admit, and without needing to explicitly say it, the penny has dropped right in Daryl’s lap, where you lay nestled and nervous, awaiting his response as you awkwardly stare off into the dark.

After a few minutes of silence, Daryl speaks up. “‘m guessin’ yer not talkin’ about Hershel?”

You chuckle at that, your first laugh in what feels like an eternity, and Daryl’s heart sings. Shaking your head again, you snuggle back into Daryl, neither of you needing to say anything else. Soon enough, you both fall into the most peaceful sleeps you’ve ever had.

Daryl doesnt make a move on you, it isnt the right time, he knows that. Regardless of what you’ve said tonight, you need to heal, you need to be completely in the right mind before you make a decision like that. And he’ll wait. Even if he’s been head over heels in love with you since day one, he has all the patience in the world when it comes to you.

You also know that you need to heal, and you give yourself the time to do just that. After that night, the two of you stay close friends, but there’s a little something hiding behind shy smiles and small glances. It doesnt go further than that for a while, because it doesnt need to.

Until one day, when the two of you are out on a run. Daryl’s noticed that you’ve become yourself again. The you that previously only appeared in front of him, she’s now everywhere, in front of everyone, all the time. And he isnt jealous, because the rest of the world deserves to see the beautiful person he always knew you were. Before, if you werent with Daryl you were with your boyfriend, but now you talk to everyone without fear, without worry, and with so much joy.

He sees it as you’re humming and dancing to yourself as you walk in front of him, completely in your own world.

You smile and point up at the sky “Look! That cloud looks like an arrow! We should follow it.”

And then you’re sprinting off in that direction, making Daryl laugh as he runs after you. When you get a certain distance, you stop with your back to him.

“This is it.” You state, nodding to yourself.

“This is what?” Daryl questions, having no idea what you’re referring to in any capacity.

“Where the arrow was leading us.” You explain, still not turning around.

“Where are we?” Daryl asks, looking around to try and find anything worth coming to this specific part of the forest for.

You slowly turn around, that beaming bright smile plastered in your face, with rosy cheeks framing it on either side. You are the most beautiful person he’s ever known.

“I was thinking the destination of our first kiss, if you want it to be.” You suggest shyly, somehow managing to hold Daryl’s gaze.

Your own smile draws his out, and he strides over to you, hesitating just before he gets to you, causing you to grab the collar of his vest and pull him down to your lips. Daryl is so careful with you, he always has been, but his kisses show you an entire new plain of his adoration for you. His hands meet at the small of your back, pulling you closer as you tug at his hair, your lips forming words that would make angels blush. And you should know, because when you break apart, both of you are blushing, too.

[sennaverstappendiary]

miami grand prix ✩ 07.05.2023

OHH… oh biami my absolute absolute beloved 🥺🥺🌷🌷💕💕🤧🤧 how i love you so so much 💍💍‼️‼️ oughh… miami 2023 😳😳 you will always be famous to me… 🗣️🗣️🗣️

leading up to the race, i was so fucking scared & also so fucking excited to watch it, because as you might remember, this is when checo was almost leading the championship and bragging about it to the media 🙄🙄 very very funny looking back but i knew it from the moment baku ended: i need it to be next week. i need to see max slay again. 🤭🤭🤭 AND OH. OH SLAY HE DID. max cuntstappen is BACK yall 🤤🤤🤤

so, starting with quali (because i did not watch free practice), i remember this was the first time i watched with my now ex upstairs, in my brothers room 🥰 it was VERY VERY late in the netherlands at this point, like around 11 pm? it was very late for me and my sleep schedule at least 🥹 as i’m writing this it seems EARLY… woah… 😵‍💫😵‍💫 as you know: qualifying was fucking crazy. i was there, on his bed, praying man literally praying for everything to go right😬😬😬… THIS WAS ACTUALLY THE QUALIFYING TO MAKE ME VOW TO NEVER EVER MAKE FUN OF A MERC EXITING BEFORE Q3 EVER AGAIN. the fucking instant karma. SMACK IN DA FACE… 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵💔💔💔💔💔💔. needless to say i was very very upset and it was #joever between me and charles for a whole 7 hours (while i slept) 😭😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

my brother came back from his long holiday trip 2 hours before race start (within said trip i had turned from a casual f1 enjoyer to a complete autistic STAN… i wonder how he felt about that LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣 imagine leaving ur sibling knowing more about a sport, coming back two weeks later and realising said sibling now is obsessed w said sport IM GOING CRAZYY 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💯💯💯💯) and i could NOT wake his ass up in time for the race. GOOD FOR HIM‼️‼️‼️😭😭🌷🌷

GOOD GRIEF. i decided to watch it w my papa downstairs :3 yay‼️ he told me to fucking breathe during the warmup lap (this will be a common occurrence for him. i literally go rigid). lights out 💡… i scream … i cry … i see max verstappen serve cunt like ive NEVER EVER seen before i go genuinely insane. i start screaming at da tv when he does that DOUBLE FUCKING OVERTAKE 😵😵😵💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 it was so fucking joever for checo atp HOLY shit. my dad looked at me like ‘did u see that lmfao’ and im p sure i teared up like YEAH I SAW THAT 😁😁😁😁🙏🙏🙏 whoah.

but of course. the moment that turned me from a max enjoyer to a max defender, to a max ride or die, was the pointing at that fucking one on his car. i was watching like 😳😳😳😳😮😮😮😮😲😲😲😲😲😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 LIKE YESS SYES YES. GENUINELY ONE OF MY FAV MOMENTS THIS SEASON IT WAS SOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD OH MY GOD I THINK I DIEDED 😵😵😵💓💗💓💞💕💘💖💘💕💞💗 HE DID THAT!!! HE FUCKING DID THAT!!!! my dad just laughed bc we had ALL been laughing at the media shit checo had been saying (for good reasons) IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO CALM DOWN JFHEIDHJDHS 💥💥💥💥💥 it was so so good. thank you biami.

max took miami and never looked back. in my personal life: this is when i started going back to uni again. i also took that shit and never looked back :,) 🪞 wherever i go… 💕💞💕💗💖🌷

✩ song of the race: i want to be your boyfriend - hot freaks

another song of hot freaks i really enjoy, and seems fitting for how this race def made me fall in love with both f1 and max LOL

[effyeffa]

a comprehensive list of (almost) all of my spotify playlists, sorted by theme

category 1: a bit of everything.

every feeling everywhere all at once opened by brian eno, closed by mitski, in between an eclectic mix of everything to scream cry and dance to  essentials. as the title suggests this is the music that makes up the foundation of my identity. funkadelic, air, spiritualized, y la bamba, weyes blood etc etc multitudes: similar idea but older. more hip hop in there, a little time capsule of 2017

seasonal playlists: these are closed chapters that won’t be altered

forbidden fruit february. self explanatory. aquarius season is for yearning and getting messy, thanks fiona apple idlings of march is when spring begins again, just barely but there’s a careful joy spreading. joyful tunes! this must be the place! spring has sprung and continues springing. instrumental interludes as standalone songs, everything sounds like water. the time that we wasted just hit like a wave begin again, another spring playlist. this time with childish gambino, laura marling, hayley williams, guns’n’roses, the classic combo april flowers. short and sweet, alice phoebe lou meets car seat headrest slowly come the saints of summer. do you remember when st vincent said daddy’s home well i made a whole playlist about it. mika is in there. genuinely no idea what was going on that summer. never ending summer, this IS the season of the witch. we love a strange mix of oldies and french and german new wave  i can’t believe summer is over and oh it’s so sentimental, it’s a cherry-coloured funk winter walking. it’s giving phoebe bridgers in the graveyard, mountain goats, springsteen, mother mother winter fruits: the first big thief singles off their latest album came out and sent me down this particular spiral. frankie cosmos and mitski, niche italian indie pop

playlists i still edit/add to, first: good moods.

still you. skinshape, biig piig, kadhja bonet, julia jacklin autobahn, a roadtrip playlist, best friends laughing, mostly italian 70s/80s many moons ago: it’s pop! it’s happy things! silly goofy times golden hour! an old one. started this in 2018, sylvan esso was big, king krule, her’s, clairo will you always love like this? dream pop. lesbianism. st south.  everyday’s a holiday: okay kaya and rex orange county, steve lacy vibes maybe i wasn’t there: kendrick, dijon, rosalía come on over & do the twist. they’re love songs. aching with nostalgia but happy coffee in bed is teetering on the edge between a lovely warm soup of emotions and desperate yearning clear the fog is where the yearning begins in earnest.

moody moods.

free drinks at the local bar, we’ve got mac demarco, the strokes, girlpool. you know the drill take me for a spin: something of a continuation of free drinks a few years later now including sam cohen, kevin morby. sad-ish music that still works if played in public ring: odes to being happysad on public transport in berlin, short and sweet peel you like a fruit. THEE playlist of psychological warfare.  i would be an electrician: if you enjoy julien baker’s happy to be here, the following ten tracks might do similar damage to your psyche  no more bad news from my jorja smith phase, also greentea peng, arlo parks gloomy. it’s the end of the world, sharon van etten said, and love is a losing game, and there’s stormy weather and love will tear us apart.  calm there’s definitely a flatsound track in there. be warned.  

and here’s three completely new ones, works in progress, not yet categorised:

touch. a very specific moment in time. listening to beach house and rhye with all my friends on a big couch, drifting off together, crying a little, holding on tightly all the in between: the only place that matters is by your side, mama you’ve been on my mind, only the strong survive, don’t think twice it’s alright. songs that transcend time and space transitional. seeing angels in everything

already this post is way too long. i have so many playlists, my god. i have a whole folder sorted by genre, one by decade, more by concepts and themes. i’m currently sorting through everything and thought i’d share my process, maybe you’ll find something for yourself new in my chaos :)

[sailorbryant]

My Top 10 BL's of 2022

Cause why not.

10. Secret Crush on You

The cringe was real, but so was how much I didn't care and just enjoyed the shit out of this thing.

9. Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

It was a battle in my head between this one and Old Fashioned Cupcake, but I'm gonna go with Minato. They were both great shows, but damn the sexual tension between Minato and Shin was just *chef's kiss* and the ending was so freaking satisfying. Add in the cinematography, which I truly believe was off the charts, and you've got a great show that I've re-watched probably three times already.

8. Love in the Air

Was it Mame trash? Sure. Did I still adore it? Yes. I'm easy like that. Give me barely any plot and hand waving sexual assault, but throw in a daddy kink and a man bun, and I fold like a stack of cards apparently.

7. Rak Diao (One Love)

I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this, but here we are. A lot of people didn't watch or didn't like this show and that's fair. But I respectfully disagree. The laugh track blended in for me very quickly. I don't know if it was just the nostalgia factor or the just the surrealness of having a very 'sitcom' BL I do not know, but genuinely enjoyed this, and so sad it didn't get the ratings it deserved.

5. The Eclipse.

Just call me a sucker for a good ol' enemies to lovers, pro-lgbt, anti-authoritarian high school BL. Would probably be higher if the last couple of eps weren't so weird, but deserves to still be here for First crying alone.

6. My Tooth Your Love

Great show. Only complaints are the lack of focus on the side couples, but just genuinely adored the progress of the main's arc. Gonna be a feel good re-watch for a long time.

Therapy Recommendations?? In my BL?? It's more likely than you think!

4. Not Me

I don't know how I couldn't love this show honestly. Enemies to lovers, identity porn w/ twins, rag tag revolutionaries attempting to overthrow the government, Sing as a villain. Just, fuck, it was like it was written with me in mind. I'm glad OffGun are coming back, but damn this would've been a hell of a high note to go out on.

Be gay, do crimes, and steal my heart I guess.

3. Semantic Error

Are y'all starting to realize I have an enemies to lovers thing? Cause damn. Anyway.

People a lot more talented than me have written way longer and better pieces on how great this show was, but yeah, it rocked. I've rewatched it multiple times, and read the manhua (yuck). Only complaint is the same with any Korean show, not long enough, but even what little we got feels like a delicious four course meal.

2. KinnPorsche VegasPete

Don't take this as a slight on KinnPorsche, because I adore them, but VegasPete honestly ensnared me body and soul. It may be a symptom of the fact that VP got less screen time than KP, but damn. It's just an obsession I'll probably not going to be getting over any time soon, and I really don't want to.

The not joking around enemies to lovers plot, the daddy issues, the straight up not fucking joking around BDSM. I mean, come on???

WHERE IS SEASON 2 BOC??? WHERE IS IT???

1. Bad Buddy

What's that? Bad Buddy came out in 2021 and barely had any episodes in 2022? Sorry, I've suddenly gone deaf.

But seriously, none of that matters. What matters is that the last episode came out in 2022 and absolutely rocked my world. I took the day off WORK for that episode. I made @bluebladerose block off her calendar at work so as soon as the episode ended I could call her and scream about it uninterrupted (and she, at this point, had not watched the show or any other BL for that matter). I could barely even tell her what had happened, and just proceeded to CRY like a child about it from pure damn joy.

It was joy in the face of pain, it was choosing happiness and love in the face of everything. It was letting all of us little queer kids know that it is possible to keep your family AND the one you love. It said that love was friendship, and happiness, and made you stronger and better and was worth fighting for no matter that it's hard.

It was cathartic and beautiful and everything I ever wanted. I'll never get over it. As far as I'm concerned, the moment Pat opened that door to see Pran on the other side was a cultural reset and nothing else will ever compare.

Honorable Mentions:

Old Fashioned Cupcake. Fantastic. Only one kiss, but it's a doozy

Love Stage!! Probably should be on the TOP 10, but it's been so long since I watched it, and couldn't bring myself to fight for it over any of the other shows.

Cutie Pie. The very definition of PWP in TV form, but who cares when Zee looks like that. Damn.

Unlucky-Kun must Kiss. Cute. Feel good. Did not live up to the High heat promise from the earlier episodes, but still good rewatch value.

Roommates of Poongduck 304. Cute. Loved it being about adults. Loved it.

Triage. Unf. So good.

Between Us & My School President Will be on the Top 10 list for 2023

Dishonorable Mentions that should be burnt in a fire:

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. The only good thing to come from this show was @bluebladerose's increasing horror as I spent four hours I spent explaining the plot to her and also this screenshot which was my background for a week.

(Yes, okay, there were some good parts and I did enjoy the dynamic with the mom as someone who is currently dealing with an aging mother, but also jfc I'm a good person and did not deserve that ending.)

See you all in 2023!

[palastel]

2022 Top 5 Anime Favorites

It’s that time of year again where I post my big faves and man was this year jam packed with quality anime. It hurts to even choose! But here we go--

1. Lycoris Recoil

This anime has just about everything I loved slammed into one quick seasonal thing. It’s got comedy, drama, happy moments, despairing moments, super fashionable and cute clothes, really intriguing story-- you name it. I’m usually not a fan of how girls are typically displayed in the anime scene but MAN did Chisato go for my heart in terms of favorite character ever. 10/10 would rewatch again.

2. Spy x Family

Say what you will, but Spy x Family is a fresh breath of air that leaves me with the Good Feels. It makes me genuinely laugh and aww at how cute this anime is. The characters are great and I could watch them in any scenario. It’s not too oft where I find myself a good family-esque show that focuses on those bonds.

3. Made in Abyss: The Golden City

This anime is fucked up. And I loved fucked up anime. Especially those that instill a sense of tragedy and despair. While I don’t think it can compare to its first season where it made me cry multiple times, there were still quite a few moments in this one that I still loved. Also I can never deny how much I adore Kevin Penkin’s music and OST... they are out of this world and addicting to the world building.

4. My Dress-Up Darling

One of those come out of left field animes that are just... surprisingly good? With an actual decent MC boy who has an actual personality? The premises seems weird at first, but over time it becomes natural and normal. Some moments made me scream or made me laugh hysterically for what it is... the main thing being how cute and enjoyable it is! (And really making a person want to learn how to cosplay dangit)

5. Summertime Render

Number 5 was a toss up between this and Demon Slayer (Entertainment Arc) or the latest season of My Hero Academia (Shit hit the fan edition). But this anime right here fixed everything I hated about watching Higurashi Gou or whatever. In that this anime instilled a very amazing horror element from the get go, increasingly risky time loops, mind games... and with a very lovely flavor of in character accents. Rough as some episodes were, the animation stayed throughout and the story was truly good-- so good it made me read the manga and turned me into a fan. No forced romance or fanservice is always a plus too.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Since I hardly ever read Youtube comments on purpose, much less endeavor to carry on a conversation or whatever with someone on there, I will unfortunately subject you all (although I'm putting it below a read-more, so you have the choice to read it or not) to my critique of a comment on that video that made my eyes nearly roll out of my head.

I don't know if it's men immediately associating everything done by [presumably cishet] men with masculinity, or if men are also inclined to associate everything done by women with femininity...but...yeah, that's probably the case here.

And, yeah, I'm sorry, but HOW EXACTLY is "In a Big Country" a "boisterous, masculine, joyous song"?! You know, the song with the lyrics "Stay alive"? The song with the lyrics "Pull up your head off the floor/Come up screaming/Cry out for everything you ever might've wanted"? That's masculine? That's JOYOUS? THAT'S PAIN; DEEP, EMOTIONAL PAIN. Dear god. I'm not sure who doesn't seem to understand masculinity or joy here. Is it me?

Because to me, especially, when I hear the line "Stay alive," I hear someone - gender considered or no - who STRUGGLES to [want to] stay alive, so that it is a deeply-felt, fervent wish that everyone who hears it continues to stay alive because that might possibly be his last hope/dream that he can depend on and take a semblance of comfort in. WHERE DOES JOY COME INTO THAT?

I'm...I'm...once again...ONCE...AGAIN...men fail to comprehend the real emotional depth intended in art. Even when originally shared by another man/men (considering what Tony Butler said on behalf of December's cover, I'm giving all of Big Country the benefit of the doubt that they knew what was at stake in the song - emotionally).

I am just shaking my damn head because I think even Stuart would laugh over that comment. I think he'd be like 'Boisterous? Joyous? Okay, show me where.' "Boisterous" MAYBE in their live performances of the song, and YET Stuart's loud and obvious urge to the audience to "stay alive" during those same performances is as genuine and serious as one can get in rock music, I think. No, I don't know who Stuart Adamson was in real life, never met him, never had the chance to know him or talk with him, etc....but from his music considered primarily, and performances and interviews considered second, I do not think he would genuinely entertain that. Maybe - maybe he would humor that comment in a 'Well, I'm just the artist, but once it's shared with the world it's not really mine anymore' type of way, but I don't think he would seriously agree.

And for the last motherfucking time (I WISH!!!), just because a woman/femme sings on a song does not automatically make it feminine. WHAT is it with people and 'perceived gender does something = that thing that was done is now apparently gendered'? Although, of course, that fails to consider that anything "non-feminine" that men do is normal (because men are the default) and anything "non-feminine" that women do is now assigned female [task/title]. Like, jesus, for fuck's sake, it's almost like IT'S JUST THE SHADOW OF THE PEOPLE WE SHOULD BE. (I'm dying on that hill.)

The real thing, in my grain-of-salt of an opinion, about this cover that deserves to be pointed out instead is that it finally reflects the intended emotional depth of the song, supported largely by the added, closing lyrics of the song: "Sometimes it's hard to stay alive." Because that's what Stuart meant by the song. He listed all of his observations about how difficult life had been lately ("I've never seen you look like this without a reason/Another promise falling through/Another season passes by you/I never took the smile away from anybody's face/And that's a desperate way to look/For someone who is still a child"), presented his coping mechanisms ("I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert/But I can live and breathe/And see the sun in wintertime/In a big country dreams stay with you/Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside"), and then said, 'BUT IN SPITE OF ALL THAT, if I can't go through with all of this - if all of these things don't work out for me – I hope they work for you, because I want you all to stay alive; do as I say, not as I do' - "Stay alive."

December's cover of this song sees the original writer's intent and renders it poignantly, lyrically and in the music - and damn well perfectly.

I could've just said that one sentence ^ though, and it would've made far more sense than whatever the hell that dude said about gender expectations. lol

[cinebration]

Television Tears (Bucky Barnes x Reader) [Request]

Hey! I haven’t made a request in like over a year but I’ve had this idea in my head for a couple months now. If you’re still accepting requests, could I get a Bucky Barnes x reader where reader is watching a show and her favorite character dies and she’s just sobbing? How would barnes react? It happened to me a few months ago. I blame my period but I could not for the life of me stop sobbing! My family was genuinely concerned 😂—Requested by @fairlygothparents

I hope you like this! It was a little more frustrated than it was just pure sobbing, but a favorite character of mine was written stupidly off a show recently, so I tapped into that.

Warnings: mention of TV character dying (no fandom specified)

Gif Source: unearthlydust

Bucky had grown used to you speaking to the TV. It had been startling for him at first, hearing you talk to the TV as though the characters therein could hear you, but after a while, he adjusted to the sound of you shouting or screaming or laughing hysterically from the other room. It got to be such that he learned what each little noise meant, even if he didn’t know exactly what you were watching.

He happened to be puttering around in the kitchen, wondering what to make for dinner, when he heard something unusual from the living room. He paused, head tilting slightly as he made out the sound above the quiet hum of the refrigerator and the music swelling from the TV in the adjacent room. Bucky slowly inched into the living room, afraid to disturb you.

You sat on the couch with your fists pressed into your temples, sobbing. Ragged gasps burst from your throat, your body wracked with tremors. Tears poured down your cheeks, snot pooling on your upper lip.

Bucky grasped helplessly at anything to help him with this problem. “Uh, honey?”

You twitched in surprise, jerking your head back to look at him. Seeing him standing there, you began sobbing afresh.

Bucky glanced around the room, searching for help, finding none. “What’s wrong?”

You tried to speak, but the anguish kept your throat closed and your breath stuttering. Shaking your head, you gestured jerkily at the TV.

Bucky glanced at it, tried to make sense of what he was seeing. The music, a mournful instrumental, began to die away, the scene transitioning to the next one. The characters onscreen muttered quietly to each other, visibly disconsolate.

“They died,” you suddenly burst out before the tears flooded back and your chest constricted with emotion.

“Oh.”

You reached for one of the throw pillows on the couch, fell short of it. The energy it took to do so rendered you numb and yet somehow frustrated. You slumped onto the couch cushions, arm still outstretched as though you could reach the pillow.

Bucky hesitated, then grabbed the pillow and gently pushed it against your hand.

You twitched, closed your fingers around it, slowly dragged yourself back up into a sitting position. Clutching the pillow to your chest, you ineffectually fought against the new tremors wracking through you, fresh tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Uh, is there…is there anything I can get you? Do for you?” Bucky asked.

You shook your head, pressed your face into the pillow to hide your distraught expression.

“It’s just a TV show.”

Your head jerked back up. “I know! You think I want to be crying like this? I just…” You gestured weakly at the screen again, making some indecipherable movement as though your words were right at your fingertips.

“Honey.” Bucky eased himself down onto the couch beside you, wrapped a hesitant arm around your shoulders. He could feel you attempting to suppress the sobs, making your body shake harder with your emotion. “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say, merely rubbed his hand back and forth on your bicep.

“I can’t believe they did that,” you griped. “They’ve been here since the first season! Why would they just do that?”

“Maybe the actor wanted to leave the show?”

“Ugh. I don’t even care.”

Bucky glanced aside at your tear-streaked face. “Are you sure about that?”

Rolling your eyes, you answered, “They killed them off so shitty, too. They deserved better than that.”

“Why don’t we…why don’t I get you some food from that place you like?”

You plucked at a ragged edge of the pillow. “I guess.”

Bucky pressed his lips against your temple. “It’ll be okay, honey. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.”

“Do you want anything specific?”

“My character to be alive,” you mumbled.

“Other than that?”

You shrugged.

Bucky frowned but didn’t press it. You would have to work through the emotions on your own. He could only hope that he could figure out some way to help.

As he headed out to the takeout place, he wondered if maybe there was a new show you could try. Fishing out his phone, he texted Sam, hoping his friend would have some recommendations.

Sam didn’t disappoint.