#that's so raven: 2x03

[hannamarins]

That's So Raven (2003-2007)

[damn-stark]

Chapter 13 Me & My husband

Chapter 13 of Moonlight

A/N- Do you think there’s anything that can make us support the Greens? Hmm?? 🤔

Warning- Swearing, NFSW, talks of pregnancy thoughts of abortion, Aegon, ANGST, fluff, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 2x03

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

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The streets are quiet, abandoned, and ravaged. The only life pulsating is in taverns scattered about the streets you pass, but as some drink for fun, others most likely drink to forget that the food in this city is diminishing with the blockade still not penetrated by their King.

The sky is polluted by white clouds, dimming the bright lights of the stars and the moon, and the sweet taste of autumn has begun to turn bitter with colder nights, bringing a chilly breeze that nips at your cheeks, and makes your fingers hold on tighter to the warmth Aemond’s hand gives yours.

What could you say about yourself? That your anger has not dulled even if you know now as you walk down the cobble streets that when Aemond is close you never feel alone. Is that hopeless?

Is it hopeless that someone who hurt you is also the one who never makes you feel solace? Even when you’re mad and seething, hoping he will leave you alone, all you seek is his presence because your heart is so tangled with his that he’s the very thing you need to feel complete.

How can you make it stop?

Do you really want to know what a world without him will be like? You should, your heart needs to stop dancing over the fact that he’s trying hard to win you back to his side. You shouldn’t be eager to know where he’s taking you. You shouldn’t know that if he had brought you out into the city weeks before this war started, or even when ravens were all that was being sent, that you would have devoted your heart and soul to him. And who wouldn’t?

He’s trying hard to get in your good graces by stepping out of his own comfort zone to do something he knows you like. He’s trying to prove his love, and his remorse for hurting you, and deep inside where you’re guarding your heart, a hole is starting to puncture through the wall.

You should be rageful! Anger is all you should know! And you do, you still feel it seething within you. You feel spiteful because he’s making the effort to make you look past the unforgettable act he did. Visiting brothels is something you can learn to forgive, after all, you have sinned too, but…killing Lucerys should bring you nothing but hatred.

You shouldn’t steal glances at him when you think he’s too busy paying attention to where you’re going, but you do, you can’t help it, you want to look into his mind to know what he has planned. And…you can’t help yourself from studying his face like one studies a tapestry that you can’t help but get lost in.

You are proud to say that you haven’t spoken a word since you left the castle, that’s the one thing you have kept up, but that begins to teeter because you need to know where he’s taking you! He keeps walking further and further away from the Red Keep!

You need to ask him, you should ask because what if he’s trying to take you somewhere dangerous, or someplace you actually don’t like? Plus this anticipation is something you can’t handle.

Thus you part your lips, and his eyes drift to you as if he was waiting for you to fill the silence, but thankfully you come across a woman with a babe against her chest and an older child on the ground beside her, so you direct their attention at their poor conditions.

Aemond tries to pull you back, but you slip your hand away from his grasp and approach the woman and her children.

The child does immediately scoot back when he sees that you’re approaching them, but the woman looks at you with hope in her eyes as she recognizes your white hair and sees your expensive clothes.

“Here,” you speak softly and pull five gold coins from the pouch in your cloak's pocket to offer them to the woman. “For you and your children.”

The woman glances at Aemond past you, and she seems to falter.

You see right through her and reassure her. “It’s okay, he may look scary, but he’s not. He won’t hurt you. The money is from me and him.”

The woman spares one more frightful glance at Aemond before she sticks her hand out so you can hand her the golden coins.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” she says in return and bows her head. “May the gods bless you and the prince.”

“And you,” you redirect sweetly. “Good night.” You offer her a smile and then give the child a wider one before you turn away and return to Aemond to continue down your path in a short silence.

“Where are we going?” You finally let yourself ask.

“I thought you would not ask,” he says and drops his eye on you.

You shrug. “I was not, but you may as well be leading me to my death.”

Aemond rolls his eye. “Why would you say that?”

You avert your gaze and huff. “Well, I do not think the King’s counsel would be so keen on welcoming back. At least not as freely as I am.”

“No they are not keen about your return, they think you come to spy for your mother,” he shares, making you keep your eyes focused on anything else so Aemond won’t see that they hit the target.

“Well,” you sigh and feign annoyance. “If I would have come to do anything for my mother, they should all know I wouldn’t have gone to one knee for his Grace,” you throw that last bit out mockingly. “I mean…” you trail off to not say anything offensive around houses filled with people who wouldn’t hesitate spreading what you said like wildfire. Aemond you don’t worry about, it’s the people who might be listening.

“Yeah I know that,” he mutters, making you both meet each other's gaze and share a small teasing smile over the thought of Aegon being king.

“<He doesn’t even speak Valyrian,” you complain in High Valyrian. “Our child knows more than him, and he’s almost 5 months old.>”

Aemond huffs and you skip forward to fall at his side and muse about Aerion. “<I am being honest, earlier, I told him in Valyrian, if he was happy to be home with you, and he talked back.>”

“<Talked?>” Aemond questions with a happy smile he can’t hide.

You nod excitedly. <Cooed, but it’s the attempt that counts, and the smile he gave when I mentioned you.>”

Aemond hums and smiles at the ground at the mention of Aerion being happy to see him again.

“<He really missed you,” you tell him. “He was sad to be away from home for so long.>”

Aemond lifts his head and looks at you with a soft look. “<I missed him too. And you most of all.>”

He says that on purpose, he knows that sweet words like that make you swoon. It almost works if you’re being honest, but you hold yourself back and look away to retort. “Yeah, you missed me when you went to the Street of Silk.”

Aemond groans and you huff, finding the exact excuse you need to lead into silence. It’s now more tense than before, but it doesn’t leave an attempt for him to sweet talk you, or for you to find a way to talk like you would before.

You don’t talk at all actually, which works to strengthen that wall around your heart, and keeps your anger from sizzling out. You don’t hold hands anymore either which leaves your naked hands feeling quite abandoned while you’re following him through the dangerous city, past taverns and places to eat, past places where people sing and entertain, and overall past anywhere that can be fun.

You start to believe he’s taking you out of the city, but then much to your surprise, you reach the Dragonpit.

“Why are we here?” You ask and he looks at you but doesn’t actually attempt to answer, he points his eye to the side of the Dragonpit before he grabs your hand and pulls you with him toward an entrance you didn't even know about.

“What—”

He shushes you by pressing his finger against your lips and holding your gaze for a short moment that actually starts to filter in flickers of heat in your tension.

“It’s not far,” he whispers before he opens the door and ushers you inside.

Do you hesitate to do as he says?

No, you grow intensely more curious and quite excited.

“If Astraea senses I’m here she will weep,” you whisper as you roll your head over your shoulder to watch him close the door. “It was hard enough bringing her in here.”

Aemond lights a torch before he responds as he walks past, but not before taking your hand first. “We’re not here for the dragons.”

You can’t help your excitement from running your mouth for you. “I would ask how you know about this entrance, but I also know you so, I think I have my answer.”

With a crooked smile, Aemond looks at you and picks on that. “Really?”

You nod and push the tip of your nose up to tease him. “Your nose was always in a book.”

“It made me smarter,” he rebuttals, making you scoff in amusement. It’s not a laugh, but it’s close enough so he takes that as a win.

“It’s not much further,” he answers your burning question that you were about to ask.

You would ask the other questions you have lined up, but you also want to be surprised, so you swallow back your questions and eagerly follow him.

Honestly, it feels like you should close your eyes to not spoil anything, but this tunnel is new to you, so you stay vigilant. And once Aemond brings you to a sudden halt you’re glad you were cautious.

“Watch,” he suggests as he keeps the torch behind him.

“Okay,” you follow up slowly but hold his gaze with a sense of excitement, making him shake his head.

“Not at me,” he says as he doesn’t try to actually look away. “Over there.”

You breathe out some of your nerves before you slide your eyes to the dark room ahead of you. Aemond makes sure you’re paying attention first before he starts to walk away from you, making you get cast in the pitch darkness that comes from the hall behind you.

“Aemond,” you call out with slight fear.

Said man offers you his attention for a second before he walks further inside the dark cast room.

You don’t like the idea of getting consumed by the darkness so you take a step after him, but quickly come to a stop as the room begins to glimmer like a thousand exquisite diamonds as the fire on Aemond’s torch bounces off the walls.

“Wh—” you don’t even get to finish saying because your breath is stolen by all the spots of transparent lights that drown the room, making it seem like you’re actually within a hundred stars. Not just under them, but actually with them, where you can touch them.

“The dragons are above us,” Aemond fills the silence. “And the walls in this room are made of sand, so slowly with the fire from the dragons, glass is being made.”

You look at him completely mesmerized, but at that moment as your eyes take him in across the room, you’re struck with awe as you catch how the shimmering light doesn’t only reflect on the walls and ceiling, but on him too.

Hundreds of lights bask his face and bounce off the sapphire in his eye socket, making him look completely divine, ethereal, beautiful.

Can he see your awe? Can he see it in your soft dilated eyes? In your soft formed smile? Or in your stillness, as you can’t make yourself move with the way you’re completely blown away by the room and him?

“Come,” he invites you further in as he focuses just on you. The glimmering lights don’t manage to steal his attention with you there. You’re all he focuses on, you’re the keeper of his attention, more so when you slowly make yourself to him and the light bounces off the golden shimmer on your gown, making you look like the sun itself. Only brighter. And unlike the sun, you’re ethereal, and instead of burning his eye like the sun does, you make his eye soften and fill with admiration and awe.

“You know I can’t ask how you know about this room,” you finally manage to speak when you meet him in the middle. “Because I know you. You would sneak to the Dragonpit to try and steal our dragons.” You giggle.

He smiles as he turns his head away. “I was desperate,” he rebuttals to your comment.

You hum and lean towards him to add a memory. “Yeah, I caught you singing to a dragon egg once, in…”

“Hopes it would hatch,” Aemond and you finish in sync.

You beam at him and nod slowly. “Yes,” you say thoughtfully and watch him for a lingering moment as you realize that all the tension ceased to exist the moment this room began to shine.

“Wow,” you whisper and slowly spin around to keep admiring the room. “How come you never brought me here before?” You can’t help but ask.

Aemond follows after you as you just wander the room. “I had forgotten about it until recently,” he admits. “And before you left I just did not want to put you in danger by sneaking out here.”

You glance at him with an amused smile before you approach a wall and capture a beam of light in your palm.

“Do you like it?” He asks for validation, making you drop your hand to look at him with a tender look before you nod.

“I love it. You brought the stars down to me,” you muse, and can’t look away from him, you can’t stay from him either. Your heart takes you to him. And without remembering your anger, or the fight you just had not long ago, you slowly press your hands on his chest to be even closer.

Aemond takes his free hand and grabs one of your elbows to be even more connected to each other, finding that you can’t stand being just a hair's breadth away from each other, you need to be closer as if you were one.

You need to be one. Share one beating heart. So you both lean in as you’re driven by a burning desire, but just as the warmth of his lips wash over you, you suddenly come to a halt because of a memory your mind conjured up of him killing Lucerys.

Yet you don’t lead the moment to resentment, you stay close as your anger returns and murmur against his lips. “I would have loved you without a dragon, you know that?”

A short silence follows where all he does is stare at your lips before he speaks up. “I would have not felt complete without one.”

You shake your head and counter his statement. “Not true, I would have completed you. Like I do now.”

Aemond’s lips part and yours follow to do the same but neither of you take the first leap. Him because he’s so taken back by what you said; and you because your anger stops you until you remember why you’re here.

Yet once your lips crash on his, you completely melt, your heart bursts with joy, and your burning desire engulfs your entire body, pushing you to slide your hands around his neck, and leading you to take control of the kiss and move in sync with each other with a sense of longing and hot passion that you can’t deny, that makes his hand find your cheek to bring your closer.

However, just as you want to deepen the kiss Aemond pulls away to seek what will assure him. “Do you love me now?”

You part your lips, but a single breath unfurls over his lips. You want to say yes, but your anger, and maybe a little bit of your hatred stops you and guides you to redirect. “Can I be honest?” You ask, making him blink repeatedly but not respond, so you go on. “My heart swoons for you, my desire burns for you, but a part of me weeps.”

Aemond’s hand slowly falls from your cheek, and his eyes bat frantically as he tries to beat away the tear that comes, but he can’t push it away, it glosses his eye.

“But Aemond,” you quickly interject and tilt your head down to meet his face.

He looks away but you find his gaze right away.

“Aemond. My Aemond,” you call again just as softly, and his eye goes soft at the utter of those last words. “It does not mean I have given up on you,” you lie, or so you tell yourself. “I am yours. I still desire you just as much. I just…need time.”

Aemond looks at you for a lingering moment before you lean in and press a kiss on his lips. He’s still at first as he’s still in disbelief over the answer he didn’t expect. He should have seen it coming, but he didn’t expect it because he was hopeful out of his own selfish desire.

Now that he’s heard you he should give up. He wants all of you or none of you. Yet he also can’t let you go, he doesn't let you go because he is selfish and doesn’t want to see anyone else with you, but also because you are his light at the end of the tunnel. That Red Priestess was right, he’s in the dark without your love, and without you. That’s why he keeps trying to gain your love, because if he gives up who else will love him like you do? Who will complete him like you do?

Only you have given him the love he seeks and he cannot let that go.

Thus he kisses you back as if he wants to devour you, hoping that’s a step in the right direction.

You grab his face and pull him closer, making him stumble you both toward the wall where he drops the torch on the ground to hold you against him.

However, just as you both start to get lost in your needy desire a voice booms. “Who’s there?”

You rip away from each other and watch the corridor with your breaths held in wait, hoping that the voice doesn’t come your way.

Albeit moments later footsteps approach and even if you would not get in trouble if you were caught, you still grab his hand and pull him away with you with no light to guide the way. You remember the path and run out with him.

“Why—”

“Just go!” You exclaim excitedly with your heart pounding in your ears, and never once looking back. You run and run with him still attached to you.

Once you’re out under the natural light of the sky and not threatened with getting caught, you can’t help but burst out laughing. Aemond watches you as he catches his breath, and can’t help but smile as he sees how the joy perks your eyes up. He then chuckles softly as your own laugh is contagious.

“One more,” you pause and catch your breath before you continue. “One more stop.”

Aemond’s laugh dies with yours and his smile fades as he’s confused considering the confession you gave him just now.

“I want to show you a better time than your whore did,” you answer his confusion, causing him to drop his head and shake it.

“I told you it was not like that,” he mutters.

You fiddle with the buckles on his vest and shrug him off. “Well, I still want to show you a good time at your brothel. I want to show you that only I can give you what you like, hm?”

Aemond bats his eye up and a smirk perks the corner of his lips up, giving you the answer without needing to say it.

Albeit before you take his hand to go to your next stop you offer him an out. “Unless you are not comfortable. We can go back home and go to a different room.”

Aemond glances past you and seems to remember that there’s one small person stopping you from going to the comforts of your own chambers. “No, we can go.” He says as he looks at you, letting you take his hand now.

However, Aemond ends up leading the way because you in fact have never been to any brothel. You have passed through the Street of Silk, but that’s the extent of that.

And unlike the streets you took to reach the Dragonpit, the moment you start to approach the Street of Silk, signs of life begin to show with firelight lighting a path, people drunkenly stumbling down streets, and chatter, laughter, singing, music, and lewd noises getting louder and more frequent.

It all mostly works to discourage you, you find yourself preferring going to taverns where you can drink, dance, and sing from occasion to occasion. Yet, you don’t take back your offer, you push forward, and just think about how much this could please Aemond and garner more of his trust so you can move around the castle more freely, and maybe get Astraea out of her chains. You don’t feel safe without her roaming the skies.

“Here,” Aemond finally brings you to a brothel a bit smaller than others you have passed, but still elegant inside and very much busy, or so it seems when you step inside.

If only the smell was just as elegant. It smells like sweat, sex, and a bad attempt at mixing sweet-smelling incense. The women who seem to work here are all beautiful though; in their thin silk and sheer gowns that leave little for the imagination, while some wear nothing at all but their jewelry to catch the wandering eye—they all honestly make you feel overdressed.

“My Prince,” a soothing voice greets your husband as they approach you.

“We just need a room,” Aemond brushes off the older woman with long brown hair that’s partially picked up in an intricate bun, while the rest is resting in a long braid. “Can we get one or not?” He follows up by asking hurryingly.

The woman does not attempt to meet his rush, her sharp eyes find you and take you in, making you raise your head higher to exude confidence and charm when really you're intimidated by her and this place in general.

Not like she can see through you, she does immediately know who you are and sees the very picture of royalty and sophistication; not only in the expensive gown and the luxurious jewelry clung onto you, but in the way you carry yourself, the way your nose is raised in the air, showing that you know that no one in the world can compare to you or touch you in any way.

“Yes,” the woman finally gives Aemond his answer and looks at him for a lingering second, making you follow her line of gaze and see that he’s averting his gaze and that she's the woman he came to see. There’s no need for an explanation, you can see it in her small smug smile, and his lack of focus.

But why her? You can’t help but wonder as you discreetly study her. Is it her experience? Her age? Does he fancy older women? Or is it her beauty? She’s a very refined beauty. She looks poised too. Is that what brought Aemond to her arms?

“Come with me,” the woman finally releases you from your spots and guides you down the room, letting you see what more the fine establishment has to offer, and what more it hides behind closed curtains.

You can’t say she went far, the house is not big, but you do linger behind when a tall slender woman bending like she was made of dough catches your eye.

She’s so impressive! It’s amazing how her legs can go so far back with no sign that it hurts her in any way. You would be envious but you’re just awestruck. You could watch her forever.

Nevertheless, not too long after you departed, Aemond calls out for you, so you steal one last glance at the woman before you find yourself in an empty room occupied by a round bed, and hundreds of candles.

“Thank you,” you tell the woman over your shoulder, proving to not be the snobby princess she thought you were.

“Of course.” She nods and offers you a much kinder smile. “If you need anything ring the bell,” she lets you know, making you smile at her before she leaves Aemond and you in the candle-lit room that smells like vanilla.

“Was it her?” You ask right away as you wander behind the bed to hover your palm over the fire burning away the wax of the candles.

“Does it matter?” Aemond tries to avoid the question, but you look at him and press him.

“Just a little,” you lie and he sees that with the way the fire catches the gloss over the affliction in your eyes as if your life depends on his answer.

“It…” he hesitates and you assume the answer, but you still wait desperately in hopes you’re wrong.

“It was, but I told you, we just shared a bed and she listened to my sorrows.”

You let out a shaky breath and your affliction is resolved to self-torment as you’re filled with self-doubt about yourself for the first time.

Never in your life have you ever been self-conscious, you were always proud of your looks, you took pride in your beauty and never shied away to try and prove otherwise. But now…you can’t help it from taking root within you.

You shouldn’t, you know that. You shouldn’t feel jealous or hurt by his choices. You try so hard to be unaffected by this ordeal, but you can’t fight it off. You’re wounded, and shine a little less, as if you're a shining star in the sky that he dims.

“I told you,” Aemond keeps saying as you have your back turned to him. “She doesn’t compare to you. No one does.”

You stay quiet and keep your back turned as you try to fight off your tears, and really try to fight off the stupid jealousy.

But it really is a bewitching thing.

“We can leave,” Aemond offers, and for a second you’re about to take that chance, but you then remember what brought you here and you know you have to see it through no matter what.

Thus you let out a deep breath and swallow back what torments you. You don’t face him right away, you let him walk up behind you and grab your chin to tilt your cheek to his lips.

“You are mine,” he whispers, making a breath of yours unwantedly draw in. “And I am yours.”

His lips brush against your jaw and burn a line down to the corner of your lips as he keeps tiling your face at his will.

“You are the very breath I need, yet you are the very thing that steals my breath every moment I lay my eye on you,” he whispers against your lips, making you part your lips as if you need his breath. “You are the very definition of beauty and divinity. Every beautiful thing that this damn world has to offer never measures up to your beauty, your grace, the design of your lips, the color of your eyes, and every perimeter that makes you. You plague my every thought, you know that? I would burn the whole world for you. You need only say the word.”

And just like that all your doubt melts away, your reason becomes null, and all your senses turn to a single feeling of needy desire that sets you aflame. You are his, but your heart was not open to him, it was still guarded and he knew that.

“Aemond,” you let out a breathless moan as he presses his needy member against your back and trails his lips along your jaw, making you desperate.

“My love,” he whispers back and presses a kiss on your cheek, causing a pleased groan to escape your lips while you stand there paralyzed unable to think of anything else but what you start to desire.

“I thought,” you pause at the wet feeling of his lips pressing against your neck. “I thought I was here to show you a good time.” You try to laugh, but a trembling breath is all that comes out as he starts to leave a hot and wet trail of kisses back up to your lips as if he's making his mouth try and memorize every inch of that part of your face.

“You are,” he assures you. “You're here. That's all I need to have a good time.”

Your lips tug to a smile and you finally find the strength to peel away far enough to turn and face him.

“No,” you argue and step back as you slip your cloak off before you grab the edge of your sleeves and start to slip the gown off agonizingly slowly, causing his own desire to grow more intensely to the point even his breeches start to feel uncomfortable to have on.

He almost wants to close the space left between you to rip the gown off you, but when he steps forward you flash him a smirk and step back to peel the gown off and let it fall around your feet, leaving yourself only in thin panties that protect your most intimate part.

It would leave little to the imagination, but he knows you inside and out. He knows what you hide and he still salivates.

“Better than your woman out there?” You taunt him in a seductive voice, and he rolls his eye and shakes his head.

“Stop,” he quips. “Don't torment yourself with her. She’s nothing. No one.”

It won’t bring any peace to mind, but you leave it for now and move your hips as you strut to him to press your hands on his chest and then slide them down to unbuckle the buckles that keep his vest closed.

Aemond tries to help you, but you quickly take his hand away and press a kiss on his knuckles before you leave his hand on your breast, causing his breath to catch and his eye to be consumed with even more darkness. Once you've finally done the tedious job of pulling at every buckle you pull his vest and he helps you shrug it off, leaving him in a thin long-sleeved cotton shirt.

“Gods you are more dressed than me,” you laugh. “And here I thought it was your hair that took you long to get dressed.”

He chuckles softly and you share a smile before he pulls his shirt off, feeding your eyes with his beautiful sculpted torso.

“Beautiful,” you whisper before you trail your hands down and unbuckle his belt, causing you both to share a sweet laugh because you have to take more clothes off him.

Before you can attempt to take his breeches off though he steps back to pull his boots off, letting you slip your shoes off too. When there's nothing left for either of you to take care of you get pulled back to him and finally nudge his breeches so he can take them off and leave him naked and vulnerable to you in a room covered with a thick curtain.

Any other time before it would’ve been pretty unbelievable, you both are too possessive over each other to even share a glimpse of each other with anyone else, but right now at this moment, neither of you care.

Then again it’s not like the world outside actually exists; it’s him, you, and your guarded heart refusing to forget what he did, and refusing to give all of yourself back to him—or so that’s what you want to think…

Would a guarded heart really pound at the sight of his member? Would you really desire him as much as you do? Would your body ache for his delicate touch, and for his hard member to complete you if you were guarded?

Perhaps if that’s what you’re pushing yourself to feel. You’re just convincing yourself that you need him in every which way, that he’s all that matters and will matter for the rest of your days. That’s all it is…a hunger for revenge…

That’s why you kiss him with need, without worrying about breathing. He’s all you can need. Him, his thin lips, his tongue fighting yours before you pull away with heavy breaths and push him down to the bed to straddle him.

“<My Aemond,>” you coo in High Valyrian, and feel his tip twitch at those gentle words before he grabs the back of your neck and leans for a kiss, but leaves your mouth waiting as he flips you over to lay you on your back.

“<You are the devil,>” you grumble and he snickers before he presses kisses on your lips, on your chin, up on the tip of your nose, on your scar, and down on your jaw before he brushes the tip of his aquiline nose down your neck.

“Aemond,” you mumble in protest, but he shushes you by pressing his warm lips on your collarbone before he travels down and presses his lips on your breast, leaving his mouth there just for a second, but just enough to make you arch your back and tangle your fingers in his long and soft white silver hair.

You almost don’t want him to move, but he does the best thing and uses his mouth to suck your breast.

“Gods,” you breathe out, making him smile against your flesh before he starts to leave kisses further down your aching body until he comes to a stop on your thigh.

“<Tell me next time how much you need me and I’ll please you,>” he muses as he admires the mess you have between your legs.

“<I need you,>” you whisper desperately and he chuckles before he buries his face in between your legs, taking no time to tease you, he gets right to devouring you.

You try to hold back, but you can’t stop yourself from filling the room with the moans of his name, and small gasps as he drives his tongue deeper. When you begin to roll your hips up to meet the lapping of his tongue, he hooks his arms around your thighs and pins you down, making you increasingly more hot.

At one point you think you can last just to linger in this feeling, but he slides one thumb over to circle your clit and that causes you to grip onto the sheets below you as you’re pushed over the edge right away.

You want to feel ashamed for being consumed by such a pleasure, but you can’t say you remember that shame when that tension snaps and you come undone on his tongue.

Aemond is so consumed by the moment, turned on by the sound of his name coming past your lips and the sounds of pleasure that he alone produced out of you, that he can’t help but come undone moments behind you without you needing to touch him.

Now you would feel pride that you have such an effect on him, but you’re overwhelmed with more soft pleasure as he uses his tongue to clean you up until there’s no trace left of you.

Once he’s done he climbs up to hover over you and steals one look at you, making you smile softly at him, and watch his own lips tug to a mirrored smile before the corner of his lips twitch down and his soft eye is clouded by something dark that's far from lust.

“What is it?” You ask quietly and reach your hand out to grab his cheek.

Aemond’s gaze grows heavy and his eyes droop while a frown wedges itself deeply on his face.

“You must know,” he mutters and slowly grabs your hand. “I am sorry,” his voice comes out soft and apologetic. “About Luke.”

You blink in disbelief and your hand stiffens on his face. He knows you’re going to let go so he keeps your hand pressed against his face.

“I lost my temper,” he mumbles and swallows thickly. “I did not want to kill him. I did not mean it.”

Yes, but his dragon did. A dragon is a part of you when you bond, so Vhagar did not act alone. Her anger may have driven her to act out, but she didn’t do anything he didn’t want to. He knows that. You know that.

Yet you don’t open your mouth to say it. You stay silent and listen with your face growing hard, and your heart no longer dancing out of ecstasy.

“You have to believe me,” he almost pleads for your forgiveness. “I did not mean to kill him. Forgive me.”

Will that bring him back? No. Nothing he says will take back what happened. Lucerys is gone forever because of what he did. You can’t forgive that.

But you don’t tell Aemond that. You bring up your other hand to cup his other cheek and smile at him. “You mean it?” You ask for reassurance.

Aemond leans towards your touch and parts his lips. “I mean it,” he speaks hoarsely.

Despite all the thoughts your mind just conjured, the act of understanding you held falters at the feeling of his neediness feeding off your soft touch, and that blue eye consumed by genuine and sweet sincerity.

Yet you must remain strong…and loyal to your stand of being unforgiving over what he did, you can’t let the wall around your heart crumble. You won’t fall.

Not even as he lays on your side and nuzzles his face against the side of your breast. You do feel a sense of bliss as you make him feel comforted by wrapping your arm around his head and using your fingers to gently caress the side of his head, but that’s it. You don’t listen to your singing heart as he embraces your waist so you won’t go anywhere.

A silence interferes between your nestled-up bodies, and you fight, closing your eyes, finding ease and comfort in his warmth, and in his heart beating against you, assuring you he’s fine. However, you slowly lose your grip and your eyes close, letting a comforting silence linger for a while where only you and him exist.

Neither of you actually fall asleep, you just refuse to let the moment go until it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of the curtain getting ripped open, pulling your eyes open to glance at the intruder, only to grow cold and stiff at the sight of Aegon and his friends, trailing behind him.

You want to alert Aemond, but he turns his attention and finds his brother and his friends too.

And the moment Aegon has the attention of the both of you on him and realizes it’s really Aemond and you on the bed, he bursts out laughing, pulling Aemond to sit up and throw a sheet over your body as you follow him up.

“Aemond, the fierce!” Aegon blurts and points at Aemond as if it’s the funniest thing in the world. Maybe to his drunken mind, it is, but not to his friends, and especially not to you as you see how Aemond recoils into himself as if shielding himself from his brother's torment.

“You know,” Aegon laughs as he stumbles toward the bed, making you scoot closer toward Aemond to shield your body from Aegon’s wandering eyes.

“If it hadn’t been for me, she would’ve been his first. He would’ve saved himself for her,” Aegon continues, only making Aemond stiffen and for his face to fall with hurt that’s obvious to you.

“<Aemond,>” you whisper in High Valyrian and grab his bicep as you feel a growing need to protect him from his brother's continuous bullying that he has yet to grow out of at his big age.

“What a fine, sweet thing,” Aegon teases as he manages to get closer to the point where he climbs on the bed and leans in between Aemond and you. “Did you fuck her like a hound?” He interjects boldly and mocks multiple barks, making your jaw clench, and your quick-grown frustration turn to fury.

“You see,” Aegon directs at his friends who avoid looking at Aemond and never dare look at you.

“< Let's go, my love,>” you insist and lean closer toward him so only he can hear you. “<He's not worth it. Let’s go.>”

“Such is my niece's prowess, that even now my brother will not get tired of her.” Aegon points at you as he looks over to try and catch you exposed, but you hold the sheet tightly against you. “Even after she left.” Aegon laughs.

You sigh deeply and bite back what you want to say to this boy king, instead, you just focus on Aemond.

“<Come on.>” You keep urging him and pull his arm toward you, but it falls limp, making your heartache. You can’t stand seeing him so anguished, you never could stand him being belittled and feeling small. Just like you never found any of Aegon’s pranks funny, Aemond was always your soft spot, and you never let one of Aegon's pranks or mean snide go unpunished.

“Hard luck for your squire though,” Aegon tells his group of friends. “As you can see,” he laughs. “The room is very much occupied.”

He keeps laughing like a madman, finally triggering Aemond’s gaze to go hard at the same time his demeanor shifts from wounded to menacing before he gets up, letting your hand fall off his arm, and making you watch him as he twists around slowly with no care of being seen.

“Your squire is welcome to the room,” Aemond finally breaks his silence and steps off the bed, but not before calling out your name and following with a demand. “Let’s go.”

Aegon chuckles and wiggles his fingers to try and touch your leg, but you quickly pull your leg away and slide off the bed, making sure to keep the sheet on while you grab yours and Aemond’s stuff from the floor, before you follow after him in a tense silence that you don’t break while you change. That tension intensifies and changes the atmosphere you once carried as you walk back to the Red Keep. It stays when you get home and when you get ready for bed, killing any attempt to rekindle the passion you were lost in.

You have a dire need to talk to him, but at every attempt, he meets you with a cold shoulder. He stays mute as if Aegon had cut out his tongue when he left that brothel.

And perhaps you should leave it be, pass it off as cruel mocking, after all, what can you do now that Aegon is King?

There’s no way to make him pay back for what he said without facing some kind of consequence, and right now you need to avoid getting in trouble.

Yet how can you leave the topic untouched? You look at Aemond and your heart aches at the mere sight of the frown on his lips, and at the dullness that takes over his eye as he can’t help but feel ashamed, angry, and most of all hurt after being ridiculed by his brother.

“Aemond?” You call out in the silence of the room to gain his attention that’s turned away from you, but he doesn’t respond right away, even if you know he’s far from being asleep.

“Can we talk about it?” You probe on the matter.

“No,” he deadpans.

You sigh and take advantage that Aerion is not here to persist harder even if you have the chance to leave it be. After all, doesn't he deserve it? This feeling that plagues him so? It’s a piece of justice, isn’t it?

No…you can’t leave it be. And it’s not out of ill intent either. You push because you want to comfort his tormented soul. “At least look at me.”

Aemond’s back rises and falls before he turns around with his long hair falling over his face, making you instinctively brush his hair back behind his ear before you slide your hand down and gently stroke his cheek, noticing that he’s not even looking at you.

“I do not need your pity,” he argues, trying to sound hardened and serious, but you hear the falter in his voice that gives him away and actually seeks your comfort.

“It’s not pity,” you contradict him with the truth, causing him to scoff as he keeps his eye averted, but also makes no effort to take your hand off his cheek.

“It is. You are only doing this because of what happened,” Aemond remarks. “You can not stand me.”

You swallow back thickly and lean your face closer so he can hear your whispers of the truth. “If that was true would I be here? Grabbing your face the way I am? Would I be here on this same bed?”

“I made you be here,” he argues and slowly brings his eyes up to meet your gaze without that fury that weighed him down as all he thought about was the shame Aegon brought him publicly. He looks at you now with that hurt he can’t surpass, it clings onto him and makes his eye glossy and soft. He does try to rip away the hurt to show you fury, but he looks at you now, right across from him, and he can’t put up that facade.

That mask of invincibility and terror he carries is nonexistent with you at this very moment because you are his peace. The one who loves him with their whole heart, with no questions asked, no fear or hesitation despite the new man he became after being mutilated. Who can say that? Who can prove that the way you do every time you smile at him tenderly in public, look at him with love, and touch his face ever so softly despite the scar and missing eye that ruined his face? No one but you.

No one but you can ever read him without a need for words, just an exchange of looks without mistranslating a single look of snide that he throws at someone or something foolish, and without mistranslating something he finds humorous but can’t express in the masses.

Maybe he should detach himself from you, and learn to live without all that you offer him. You are the enemy's daughter after all, he knows the love you harbor for them is not dead. Yet he’s selfish, he can’t let go. He realizes that. Just like he realizes that he can’t be mad at you now.

He realizes you can leave again, pledge your fealty to your mother once again and he would be offended but that would not make him love you any less. There are some things he won’t forgive, he knows that, but besides those exceptions, you can hurt him and he will never let you go because you are the one who loves him the way he wants to be loved.

You prove that by coming back. Even if you had all the freedom with your mother you still came back to him. That’s proof.

Just like there’s proof now by the way you look at him with a tender look rather than one full of resentment.

“I’m here because I want to be here,” you dismiss his accusation that was right at first, but now is far from the truth. “Because I care for you, Aemond. I care,” you insist, but not to convince yourself, to convince him. “I…” you hesitate and struggle to say the next words that are coming to your mouth, but not because you don’t mean them and it pains you to say them to someone who betrayed you. You hesitate because you are struck with realization at that moment too.

As you lose yourself in his eye and the deep blue sapphire in his eye socket, you see the truth looking right back at you. You do love him despite what he did, despite his darkness, his selfishness, and his faults. You tried to hate him, tried putting up a wall, but that was merely an attempt, there was never a wall around your heart. You only told yourself that in hopes that would distance yourself from him, but you realize here and now that you love him.

He may be destruction incarnate, a demon in disguise, but you love him. Despite his betrayal, despite him visiting a brothel. You wholeheartedly, undoubtedly love him.

It’s a wild realization if it was one at all, but you cannot pretend otherwise.

Who will love you selfishly the way he does? He would burn the world for you, and you know that is a hard truth, but you love that promise. You hate that you love it, you don’t want to love him, but you cannot help it, you cannot push it away, you are devoted to him just as much as he’s devoted to you.

No one will understand your darkness that you try to hide the way he does. No one will love your hunger for power the way he does, and he would never find those traits shameful the way you find them shameful about yourself. He cherishes you, loves you despite it all, and you love him despite it all.

You love each other desperately and madly. After all, you are one flesh, one heart, and one soul, now and forever.

“I love you,” you spit out and grab his cheek firmly. “I love you that’s why I’m here,” you express with a wobbly smile. “That’s why I want to talk about what troubles you because I love you and I cannot stand seeing you hurt.” You nod in reassurance and his breath catches before he leans his face against your touch and kisses the heel of your hand.

“I love you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to redirect without losing sight of your gaze. “I always have. I always will.”

You smile wider and scoot closer toward him to nuzzle your face against his chest, whilst you also snake your arm around him and rub circles on his back with your thumb, making him slink his arm around your neck to caress the back of your head.

“Your place is with me,” he assures you of that. “You belong here. I will protect you here.”

You smile against his flesh and speak against him, causing goosebumps to grow along his skin. “And I will protect you.”

Aemond huffs in protest but you know he loves that shit.

“I mean it,” you continue sweetly. “There’s not much I can do right now, but I can still look out for you. I will. We’re what matters most in this world, Aemond. Us and our son. No matter the cost.” You voice with no hint of that sweet honey, you mean it fiercely and prove your ferocity by pulling back to face him with flickers of that darkness in your eyes.

“Do you understand?” You press to assure him but also seek reassurance for yourself.

Aemond lowers his head to meet your gaze with that same fire in his eye. No questions asked, and no hesitation to consider. “I know. No matter the cost. With fire and blood.”

The corner of your lips pull to a smirk and you seal that fierce dedication with a kiss on his lips. When you pull back you see thoughts forming behind his eye that deepen that smirk before he presses a kiss on your forehead.

You smile in return and as he faces you you return to what you initially needed his attention for. “You are more fierce than he is. You know that.”

Aemond’s eye flickers down, and you slide your hand over to grab the back of his neck. “He just knows that he has more power over you,” you make sure he hears what you have been thinking of since Aegon interrupted your moment together.

“He knows you won’t react because he’s king, but that doesn’t mean a thing. You are still you,” you continue without falter and regain his unwavering attention. “You are stronger. More powerful. Loyal, kind, and more fierce in a way he will never be. You are Vhagar’s rider. You are what he will never be.”

Aemond’s lips part, and his eye widens while also growing dark with desire. An intense ferocity captures him in a stupor, but he quickly snaps out of it to grab your face and kiss you fiercely.

You take a second to grasp this burst of passion, but you snap out of your surprise quickly and kiss him back with the same energy while also letting him take complete control of the heated moment that turns into a passionate night with little sleep.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

“What will you do today?” You ask Aemond as you gently massage his temple with your thumbs while he lays his head on your lap.

“With Cole gone a little less, but I have made it my job to attend more council meetings, to be present while war plans are made. But this morning I will go patrol on top of Vhagar, so I will go to that soon after breaking fast, and perhaps get some training in after.”

You scoff softly. “Oh because you need it?” You tease and look over at Aerion sitting on Aemond’s torso. “Right little dragon? Your papa does not need to train.”

Aerion glances at you before looking back at Aemond and reaching for the toy Aemond holds up for him.

“Refining my skill is necessary,” Aemond finally interjects. “Why would I hold myself back from achieving a new skill in a time like now?”

You hum and tilt your head as you gently slide your thumbs down to massage his cheekbones. “Maybe I could be your sparring partner today? Or you could teach me a skill or two?” You smirk, and his eye snaps over to you as his lips stay still before they tilt towards a small smirk.

“Why would I refrain you from getting better, my love? Here I thought you wanted to be more like Queen Rhaenys?”

You snicker and roll your head away. “She was an excellent dragon rider, but I do not wish to limit myself to one thing especially now during war. I may not always have my dragon to protect me, things happen unexpectedly. I cannot always count on you, you’re busy. I do not want to be helpless when the time comes.”

He hums and comments. “You are not. You have skill.”

“Not excellent skill,” you press and stop your thumbs to hold his gaze. “I want to be great.”

Aemond puts the toy down to reach over and cradle your cheek. “And great you are, but…if you wish me to teach you I will help, maybe then you will not need that sworn protector:”

You snicker and lean down to speak against his lips in Valyrian. “<Don't be jealous my love.>”

“<I chose one for you for a reason, and you went on to choose a bastard,>” he rebuttals and his grip turns firm.

“<You chose an old man,” you remark. “Who would need to be changed the way I change Aerion, no thank you.>”

“A skilled knight.”

“An old man.”

Aemond groans and you lean back, causing Aemond’s hand to fall. “Meet Ser Jason, and watch him fight,” you defend your sworn protector. “He’s very skilled and a quick thinker. He used his cloak to blind his opponent, and! He killed a Dothraki screamer. How great is that?! He also fought at the Step Stones with Daemon.”

Aemond frowns and turns his focus to Aerion grabbing his little foot.

“I trust him,” you plead for the knight's case. “Do you not trust me?”

Aemond doesn’t look at you but he responds. “I will slay him if he does not do his job.”

There’s no need for a clear answer, that was his agreement.

“What will you do today?” He then changes the subject.

You pout and shrug. “Nothing and then more of nothing. I am not allowed to do anything.” You grumble, making him smile.

“Don't laugh,” you scold him and smack his shoulder. “You know I detest being bored, Aemond.”

“What would you do in Dragonstone?” He asks.

You sigh and shrug. “A bit more, I would attend council meetings, but my mother did not let us do anything either.”

He hums and reaches his hand over to caress your knee before he sits up and replaces his head with Aerion instead.

“I have something for you,” he shares, piquing your curiosity.

“A gift?” You squeal as he walks over to a shelf to grab a box before he returns to the bed and places the box down by your lap.

“I hope you like it,” he says and sits on the edge of the bed. “It took me a while to find it.”

You beam at him and secure your arm around Aerion before you reach over and pull the lid off, finding a red-leathered heart-shaped book that strikes you with awe the very moment you lay your eyes on it.

You almost do not want to touch it, it looks too precious to touch, but you can’t contain your excitement, you take the book from the box and realize it’s a songbook from Old Valyria.

“<Songs and Ballads of Valyria.> You read the gold title out loud in your mother tongue. “<Amazing,>” you muse as you admire the cover and the shape of the book. “<It must have been a pain to find it.>”

You proceed to open the book and flip through the pages to take a glimpse at all the different songs it contains.

“You like singing in High Valyrian,” Aemond brings up. “I thought it would be appropriate for you to have songs from where we come from.”

Your heart swoons and when you look over at him your eyes water. “Thank you, my love,” you whisper and lean over to him to press a lingering kiss on his lips.

Guilt begins to wedge itself within you, threatening to spoil the moment, but you refuse to be consumed by anything but appreciation and bliss at this very moment.

If your mind wants to torment you then it can do it later when you’re not with Aemond. Not now.

Even then you’ll bury it if you must.

“Maybe I’ll sing you something later if you come find me,” you suggest seductively before you lean in and bite his bottom lip.

Aemond groans softly in response, making you snicker before you sit up and climb off the bed to try and get the morning started before you’re forced.

“I'll be lonely all day, under the watchful of my sworn protector,” you feign a sigh and you hear Aemond get on his feet.

When you peer back he looks bothered so you offer him a sweet grin before you waltz over to put Aerion down on the ground protected by blankets and multiple fluffy pillows so you can go on and start your day before the morning slips from your fingers.

Albeit you didn’t realize how much you enjoyed your moment of peace. The war did not exist in the confinement of your chambers as you ate breakfast. It felt like the days before the tensions of war; calm, blissful, filled with long talks as you both bring up whatever comes to mind, and filled with wonder as you watch your son interact with the world.

As expected though the illusion breaks when the doors to your quarters open and Aemond parts in his way, and you go in your way; finding yourself in the Godswood thinking of one thing.

How could you be so horrible?

Kissing Cregan was one thing, but laying with him and mayhaps having his babe?

Your brothers suffered because of their parentage, do you want the same bestowed upon your children? Or do you want something more horrible cast upon them if they happen to be his and come out looking like him?

Aemond would never forgive that betrayal, he would not want that to besmirch his name. He would kill you too. Do you want that?

Do you want him to hate you?

If the babes are Cregan’s anyway, they can be Aemond’s. You’re choosing to blindly believe that the babes Helaena said you’d have, are Aemond’s. You can’t believe otherwise for your sanity…unless…

You take something stronger than moontea?

But what fault do the babes have for your sins? And if they are Aemond’s and you rob them of their lives?

You can’t do that, no matter how much that would spare you of any troubles.

Gods!

You fall on your knees and look up at the crying face on the Weirwood tree, unknowingly meeting the intent gaze of Cregan Stark who is leagues away, but looking upon the same crying face thinking of you as he reads the letter you sent with haste before you left—more like before you run from Dragonstone.

He would understand. Only because you aren’t actually married to him, but he would understand and he wouldn’t shame you. He would help in some way…

If you could see him, or continue writing to him, or if he was here. But he’s not here, no one can help you, you have to suffer through this alone because it’s a mistake you made. You must pay its price and hope, pray even that the babes are fully Aemond’s.

And after you pray and beg under your breath with thick tears rolling down your cheeks, you have to pick yourself up and play the part; the dutiful wife as Daemon said.

Only you aren’t really dutiful, nor is it all pretend, you are here aren’t you? In his protective care, marking his lips and face with kisses; knowing only your lips have touched him. You're looking deep into his soul through his eye. You're wrapped in his arms that you find so secure and holy in the madness of war, so what’s a little selfish take in this great suffering?

Daemon pushed you into Aemond’s arms, you didn’t plan to come back, but he pushed you here, so why can’t you let Aemond feed your needy heart his love? And why can’t you feed his starving heart more of your love while you still stay faithful to your mother?

There’s no sin in loving.

Right?

“Right,” you sigh deeply and push yourself to your feet to sit against the white trunk instead and finally take a deep dive into the book Aemond gave you, finding yourself drawn to one specific ballad that you start to mutter before you hum along quietly to try and find a tempo.

When it seems that you have the right beat you start quietly singing to the brisk air, unbeknownst to you having your song travel into the ears of your sworn protector, and capturing his interest to the point he has to peer back at you over his shoulder to stare. He tries to focus on his task at hand, but no matter how hard he tries, his attention draws back to you, as if your voice had bewitched him.

He can't understand what it is you’re singing about, nor does he want to ask because it sounds so sacred. Albeit you manage to catch his curious attention and interject to fill the curiosity mingling in his deep blue eyes.

“It's about the God of the Sea loving both the Goddess of the Sun and Sky and the Goddess of the Moon and Stars.”

Ser Jason snaps his attention ahead with reddening cheeks, and you continue to feed his curiosity.

“To summarize the ballad, the God couldn’t pick between the two, until fate picked for him by killing the Goddess of the Moon and Stars. However,” you sigh and look back at your pages to glance at the ballad. “…Upon seeing her death, carrying her in his arms, he realizes when it’s too late that he always loved the Goddess of the Moon and Stars, for she was his soulmate. Without the moon and the stars who would shine his dark waters, who would bring days to an end, who would bring tides, and the very gravity that holds him down to earth?”

Ser Jason hums before his armor clatters against each other as he turns to face you.

“What a selfish god,” he shamelessly gives his opinion, bringing a smile to your lips that makes a hotter heat unfurl under his cheeks.

“Aren't they all?” You say back and drift your gaze to him. “No matter how gracious one god is, they are all selfish in some way.”

Ser Jason hums and can’t help himself from leaving his post and approaching you.

“You want to know why?” He asks and you probe with hum as you put your book down against your lap.

“Because they don’t live amongst us…”mortals”…no matter how much they wish to relate to us or say they do, they will never be us.” He says and shakes his head. “They never suffer the same because they are the ones that bring that suffering.”

You blink slowly in awe and can’t help your lips from lifting to a softer smile. “Is that so?” You muse.

Ser Jason holds your gaze and blinks repeatedly as if in disbelief of what he’s seeing whilst he parts his lips, but says nothing but a long ‘uh’ as he watches you wide-eyed.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and you press him. “Ser?”

Ser Jason clears his throat and nods harshly before he giggles nervously and finally gives his response. “It is…It’s, uh, the harsh reality that you learn in the suffering.”

You hum and hold the book against your chest to lean forward and question him. “Are you from King’s Landing, Ser?”

The knight nods. “Born just in the Street of Silk, before I was raised in Flea bottom until I got good enough with a sword and went to fight for a living.”

“Couldn’t stand the suffering?” You ask and he scoffs softly as he nods

“Exactly,” he grins. “I decided to test fate and suffer in violence instead.”

You huff softly in response and narrow your gaze to continue questioning him so you can know more about him, but not before you check the entrance to make sure Aemond isn’t coming and overreacts.

“Tell me Ser, what led you to fight a Dothraki Screamer?”

The man smiles at the ground, making those deep-set dimples of his make an appearance on his face. “Adventure,” he says. “Access to money…I also had nothing waiting for me here, so after the Step Stones I set sail to different ports, met different people, and saw all kinds of wonders.”

Your eyes fill with wonder as you hear all that you wished to do and be once upon a time.

“Then…why did you come back?” You can’t help but ask and glance at the ground. “There’s nothing too wonderful about this place,” you say as if it was muscle memory to say those words you thought long forgotten. “Especially now with war so rampant.”

You look back at the knight, and he shrugs whilst he meets your gaze with a look of sincerity. “It’s home. No matter the bad memories, or the suffering. Home called me back.”

Your gaze falters and you lose yourself deep in thought about those marvelous wonders you will never see, only hear about from mouths like his.

“Besides, I do have my father…” he trails off and clears his throat as he focuses on something else. You follow his line of gaze and see Alicent walking in the Godswood.

“Your Grace,” Ser Jason greets and bows his head as he closes and opens his hand.

Alicent stares at him for a long second, before she stops in her path and brings up a question. “I cannot say I have seen you before, what is your name?”

Ser Jason swallows back nervously and shakes his head. “My name. I am new,” he stammers. “I am new working within the castle. My name is Ser Jason Waters.”

“My sworn protector,” you clarify for him.

Alicent glances at you and then looks back at the Knight with a gentle smile. “I see,” she says.

Ser Jason lingers there awkwardly for a moment and Alicent keeps staring at him waiting for him to move away, but he doesn’t seem to understand so you interject. “Go back to where you were Ser, it’s quite alright.”

Ser Jason nods rapidly before he walks away, making Alicent wait until where he's supposed to be before she continues her path toward you.

“Princess, I thought I would find you here,” she directs at you with a sweet smile you find quite grotesque and all too fake.

“Here I am,” you mutter and stand to your feet. “Enjoying the stillness of the Godswood.”

She hums and holds her hands in front of her as she brings herself to a stop close to you. “I understand. The Red Keep has gotten quite rowdy with everyone moving about.”

You offer her a half smile in response before you glance around as if that will give you the answer as to why she came to you.

“I hope everything is going well with Aemond, I know men sometimes find it difficult to understand our troubles,” she says in an attempt to what? Be nice? Be nosy?

“Well,” you roll out and sigh. “Luckily, Aemond and I have been childhood friends. Growing up together helped us understand each other, so yes there has been difficulty, but we understand each other's troubles quite well.”

She didn’t get the answer she sought but she doesn’t press for a clarification, she just offers you a tight-lipped smile and mutters. “That makes me glad.”

You nod stiffly and purse your lips together before you just decide to cut this formality off and get to what she needs. “Do you need something from me, your Grace, or am I just being blessed with your company?”

She hums with a smile and steps closer, making sure to look over her shoulder once before she comes to a stop very close to you, causing your gaze to narrow as your eyebrows try to meet together.

“With us living together for so long, I like to say I know you like I know my children.”

That’s funny.

“I know that sitting and doing nothing makes you restless,” you let her get to the point because you’re now more curious than ever. “Thus I came to you to offer my help. Or more so my partnership.”

Your eyebrows soothe for a second but soon rise with your amused disbelief.

“We are surrounded by men,” she goes on with no clue as to what’s obviously playing on your face. “Who often think too rash and don’t take rationality under consideration. That’s where we come in, but they don’t tend to listen to the kinder voices.”

“No,” you input as you fiddle with the long smooth pearl snood flowing down with the length of your hair.

“But we must persist, be their rationality. But we can’t do that alone, as a woman it’s important we stick together. Be a force to get in their minds. That’s why I thought we could work together and get them to listen to what we plan out.”

Your gaze flickers down as you nod slowly in comprehension, letting her believe you actually fall for her crap and take it to heart before you start to laugh and face her with an all too menacing smile.

“No,” you snap as your laugh dies and brings your lips down to a harsh frown as your eyes harden. “You do not know me, your Grace. You have no idea who I am, which is telling, really,” you feign a laugh and step closer to tilt your head and narrow your fierce glare. “Why should I ever consider working with you?”

She blinks repeatedly as she’s caught off guard, and steps back.

“I may be at odds with my mother,” you lie. “But I do not forget your treatment, the snide, the torment. The way you made her walk up flights of stairs mere minutes after labor.”

Alicent’s eyebrows furrow, but then quickly knot together as her brown eyes gleam with quick tears, and a long frown grows on her face.

“And then there was me, you sent me away across the country to get back at my mother for something I did not do. I was trying to stop them and you sent me away when I easily could have been your ward, but no. You are no ally, no friend. You are mean and I will never work with you.” You give her your response and look her up and down, finding that frown pretty pathetic.

“But I will tell you this,” you add one more thing in a whisper. “As a suggestion. Leave, Your Grace. There’s no husband for you to tend to anymore. You will find peace in the religion you grip onto as if it’s your salivation. Woman to woman.” You hum and curtsy before you walk past her.

“And you,” she tries to get the last word in. “What will you do? There’s nothing for you to do here but tend to your husband. They will never hear your counsel. He will never hear it.”

You stop and draw out a deep breath. “I have a dragon, I have skill with a sword, not perfect but it is a skill, and most of all I have his trust,” you finally give her the answer she was seeking before. “He does trust me, but you know that.”

You look at her over your shoulder and offer her a sweet smile before you turn your head away and roll your eyes.

Perhaps if she had been nice she would have gained you as an ally, but you do not forget a slight. Especially when it comes to her hurting your mother.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“It’s nice being away from the stench of the city,” you say fondly as you hurry down to a small patio hidden below the castle where the waves crash on the rocks below and bring a nice refreshing mist where the salt filters in your nose, and the noise of the city and the castle drowns out.

“With those Rat Catchers still on the walls the air reeks even from my balcony,” you complain to Ser Jason who listens maybe because he is paid to, but he listens nonetheless.

“It's a poor sight,” the knight says from behind you. “Some of those men were innocent��”

You peek over at him and stay quiet for a moment before you rebuttal. “So was the boy.”

Ser Jason meets your gaze and he keeps his eyes on you for a while as if challenging you, so you fight right back with more fire, making him look down before he moves his eyes ahead to look out for trouble.

“Could I ask,” you shift the subject to a less tense topic. “How did Daemon come to recruit you?”

“Well, the squadron I was in—”

“No,” you cut him off. “I am referring to this job right now. Did he just recognize you and throw you a sack of coins?”

Ser Jason glances at you and you make a quick stop to let him catch up to you before you continue ahead slowly.

“Well, he did give me gold,” he says under his breath, so it's not possible for someone can hear him in the solitude of this path. “But we did not just bump into each other…he actually came looking for me,” he pauses, and his gaze flickers down. “I was his squire at the Stepstones, but he soon released me and gave me a higher rank to go with my skill. I suppose he remembered me and the stories I would tell him of where I was from.”

You hum and scoff in surprise. “That’s unlike him.”

Ser Jason nods and laughs nervously before he throws his head up and looks at you. “He did threaten me after finding me so he stayed himself.”

You huff in amusement and don’t want to ask but you can’t help yourself. “What did he say?”

He clears his throat. “If anything happens to the princess and that babe I will personally come burn you alive after I have gutted you alive,” he says as he mocks Daemon’s voice, making you giggle.

“Nice,” you praise him, causing him to realize what he just did and grow flustered.

“I did not mean to, I mean, I am sorry. I should not have done that,” he stammers and you shake your head.

“Do not worry about it Ser, I found it amusing and accurate.”

Besides it does take you by surprise that Daemon would…care so much as to threaten him with such violence for Aerion and you.

“Many of my protectors before have been older and quite stiff, so it is refreshing to have someone to talk to,” you tell him sincerely. “Especially in a time like now. Do not worry alright?”

Ser Jason's lips part and a red tint takes over his cheeks as his eyes soften. Yet you don’t pay attention to the way his eyes lock on you or the way his breath stills for a second, you manage to finally catch sight of your small lookout and find a Septon and a Septa already there.

What a damn bummer! You wanted to be alone!

Whatever you’ll have to stick to one side then.

“I like to escape here,” you tell Ser Jason as you get ahead eagerly. “It’s peaceful, and when I was a girl since I was not allowed to train with the boys I would come and practice with a sword and strawman everything I watched them do. My mother would get me in trouble though, I tended to go down to the rocks to feel the water, so she said that the waves were too big and wild here and one could take me. But I never listened.”

“Did you ever get close?” The knight asks and you look back at him with a grin.

“Once, just do not tell my mother.”

He laughs under his breath and you make it to the patio, trying to avoid any eye contact from the Septon and Septa, so they would not come speak to you, but you do sneak a glance at the Septon posted behind the Septa, and find yourself a bit drawn by the man as you feel like you recognize his old face.

Before you can take a good look he turns his face away, but it doesn't take away from the fact that his face is really oddly familiar, you just need one good look.

Yet you don’t try because that would mean having to walk back and that would be awkward, so you go sit on the empty bench and just admire the waves the ocean throws at the rocks. There’s no attempt to talk to Ser Jason, you do not want to fill your silence at this moment. All you want to do is sit in silence and not be tormented by memories or running thoughts that spread like a web.

However, your moment of peace comes to an abrupt end when the Septa comes to sit next to you.

She could have stayed where she was but she moved out of her way to come sit next to you. Isn’t that fucking great!

You had forgotten how much you hate Septa’s.

You do bite your tongue though and just keep watching ahead hoping she doesn’t see how you’re starting to fume.

Just keep looking ahead.

Just keep—

Suddenly your mind goes quiet as the Septa drops her hand on yours resting on your lap.

“Uh,” you part your lips and slowly churn your head to the side with a tight-lipped smile to address this bold Septa, but when you lay your eyes on her you immediately recognize your mother…

It must be some weird dream…

It’s not her!

You snap your eyes ahead and stare in disbelief for a second before you take a second look and see that it in fact is your mother, and the Septon is no Septon, it’s Ser Steffon Darklyn! You knew you recognized him!

But how?! Why?!

“Mother?” You gasp in disbelief whilst your face contorts with shock.

She puts her finger against her lips to shush you out of fear someone would hear you from the distant castle, or the knight behind you would say something.

“We…can trust Ser Jason, Daemon paid him to protect me,” you throw out to get that out of the way before you probe her. “What are you doing here? Why? You need to leave. Now!” You get up and take her hand to attempt and get her away, but as she stands up she yanks you back with her.

“Not without you,” she snaps. “I came this way for you. We are returning to Dragonstone.”

You shake your head and she pulls you with her, but you slip your hand away from her grasp and stand your ground, causing her to turn and face you with her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“No, I am not returning home,” you proclaim firmly and raise your chin. “I can help you here. I am here to help you, it’s the only way I can help you.”

Your mother shakes her head and closes the distance to grab your arms and argue. “No, there are other ways, perhaps I have been protective, but I do it for your own good. You are young, inexperienced, and so is your dragon.”

You take in what she says but that still doesn’t win you over. “I understand—”

“There are other things you can help me with,” she cuts you off to try and persuade you. “This is not one of them. If they find out you are sending information they will kill you. We must return home at once, get Aerion, and sneak out.”

“No,” you exclaim and step back. “I am careful, and Aemond trusts me. I use the tunnels behind the walls to listen to council meetings, I will get my dragon out from the Dragonpit soon so she can fly over and send you the letters, you just have to trust me, Mother.”

Said woman goes quiet and her eyes droop with anguish so you approach her and grab her hands to assure her. “It is a risk, but it is one I am willing to take to get you on that throne.”

Her breath catches and she reaches over to cup your cheek and whisper. “And it will not be worth it if I lose you and your brothers. Please listen to me, my sweet. Come home.”

“You will not lose us,” you don’t give in. “You will have us. We will stand by your side when you become Queen. Just trust that I am doing the right thing. I ask you only this, trust me. Please.”

Your mother pulls her head back and stares at you hard for a long and tense moment before she drops her head and lets a tear fall to the ground. “Fine…I will trust you.”

You smile softly. “Thank you, mother.”

“But;” she sniffles and looks back at you. “At any sign of trouble, you come home.”

You don’t hesitate to assure her with a nod before you slip away from her to sit back down on the bench. When she sits next to you you tell her what you have heard, but haven’t been able to send. “Ser Criston, Ser Gwayne Hightower, and a few other knights have left to attack the houses in the Crownlands who support you. He will turn them against you to try and take Harrenhal.”

Your mother's eyes flutter as she looks to the horizon to get lost in thought.

“I heard reports of Ser Criston and other knights marching somewhere, but we had not figured out where,” she says to the crashing waves.

“That’s all the worthwhile things I have heard, but I will get more information soon.” You try to assure her, gaining her attention and a small smile.

“Thank you, just be careful when you try and listen, okay?”

You nod and let a silence befall you where you both feel the urgency to leave so she does not get caught, but in that silence, you also feel the need to speak of your troubles now that she’s here. You do not want to hold them anymore than you have to or you will combust. Besides, you are in desperate need of her counsel to know what to do.

“<Mother,>” you croak in High Valyrian and see her eyes catch the tears that quickly fill your eyes. “<I have to tell you something,” you pause and she immediately grows overly concerned. “I’m…I’m with child.>”

You have not had it confirmed yet, Helaena did tell you and you want to pass her off as a bit mad since there was no way she could know, but you know it in your gut that she is right. There’s also evidence that points to it that you have tried to ignore, but you cannot ignore the truth forever. No matter how much it scares you.

“<That's great…>” Your mother trails off as she doesn’t see your joy and instead sees anguish.

“<When I was a ward in Winterfell I was lonely…some people would not talk to me because I was me, but also because they were being mean, but…Lord Stark did, he became my friend,” you give her context. “He was my best friend and then,” you pause and hold in your sob. “We ventured into a more romantic relationship…but I stopped it when I came back. I was devoted to my husband, I love him, but when I went back and found out what he did to Lucerys…I was—>” You cut yourself off and drop your head on your hand. Your mother reaches for your hand but you pull away and finish.

“<I was hurt. I felt betrayed, and Cregan comforted me…one thing led to another, and…>” you don’t finish the rest but she knows what you mean and stays quiet and still now. You don’t want to know what she might be feeling so you keep your gaze averted.

“<But I also lay with Aemond before I left for Dragonstone and now I do not know who might be the father. I’m scared…I’m horrible.>” You cry and your mother can’t stand your cries so she finally takes your hands and nudges your hands towards her so you can look at her.

“<The father is Aemond,” she says seriously not because she knows, but because that’s what you need to believe, what you need to say if it’s not true. “Do you hear me? There might be a high chance it is. I am betting it is. It was just one night with Lord Stark. Do not worry I doubt anything took root, okay? When was the last time you bled?>”

You shrug. “<It's been complicated since Aerion, I do not bleed as heavily anymore, so I get confused, but I bled for two days and that ended the day after you returned to King’s Landing. But, I was feeling more tired than usual and just odd the entire week I was at Winterfell, just before Lord Stark.>”

“<See, it is Aemond’s. That’s proof,” she tries and convince you of the higher outcome. “Do not worry. It’s not good for you, and there is still a lot of time before that babe comes.>”

“<Twins,>” you share what Helaena told you, making your mother smile and cup your cheek to stroke it.

“<Twins,>” she muses. “<I'm happy.>”

You want to share her joy but you can’t look past your self-hatred. “<I'm still horrible. I shouldn’t have done it. But I did and I’m horrible for it. And I know what Aemond did, I know what he has done, but Mama, I still cannot bear it. I betrayed him. I-I—>” You break into a sob and she moves her head with yours as you drop it.

“<Look at me,>” she commands softly as she grabs your face and tilts your head up regardless. “<It is true you could have taken other pursuits, but it happened already. And it does not make you horrible.>”

You shake your head and mumble. “<You only say that because you’re my mother.>”

She scoffs softly and nods. “<Maybe, but it does not matter because I know you. You are not horrible, and doing that does not make you horrible, we are only human, my sweet. You were hurt, betrayed, and he was everything you needed. In a moment like that it’s easy to fall into the wrong thing to avoid being alone. You admit you did wrong, that’s all that matters.>”

Your ache eases off your heart and even though nothing can take away the sin, you still feel comforted by her sweet words. It’s just what you needed to stop letting that torment you as much as it has, she was what you needed; your mother's comfort.

“<Do not let it torment you anymore. It happened in the past, leave it there. Think about your safety, about your children’s safety, that’s paramount. Your other worries are for not because Aemond is the father. You’re just overthinking it because you’re scared.>”

You nod softly in comprehension and she wipes away your tears before she presses a kiss on your forehead.

“I must go now,” she brings this moment to its end in the common tongue. “So I must ask you again, will you come?” She asks, making you smile faintly before you reject her one last time.

“I will stay, but I will be careful I promise.”

She sighs deeply but doesn’t argue anymore. “Alright. I will be waiting for your letters, and any sign of trouble.”

“Okay. I love you, mother,” you tell her before you can’t.

She smiles at you and doesn’t hesitate to say it back. “I love you too, my sweet.”

She pulls her hands away and stands up, you stand up with her and linger in each other's presence for a bit longer before you watch her leave, and with her, taking a chance for you to return home to her, but leaving you with a more sane mind. The possibility of your sin coming to life is something that can happen, but you look at the more positive side now and tell yourself that Aemond will be there, and even if there’s some chance he isn't, they can still look like you, so there shouldn’t be fear.

Besides, if you think about it, really ponder about it, Aemond is the only face you see when you think about their father. Gut feeling or not, you see him, your husband, your other half, the love of your life that you can’t sacrifice, the light in your darkness.

How twisted is that?

——

*LATER*

You can’t help it, you can’t take it anymore.

“What are you doing?” You interrupt the silence and bring your book down to stare at Aemond, who stops fiddling with the gold coin and meets your annoyed gaze.

He’s going to ask what stole your attention from the book in your hands, but he sees you looking at the coin and shows it off before he passes it between his fingers one more time just to taunt you.

“Funny,” you deadpan, making him smile faintly before he throws the coin over at you so you can catch it, but it ends up on your lap.

“Are you trying to pay for my services or what? Because I will say, being a princess, my cost is high.” You taunt and he scoffs in amusement before he mutters back.

“It’s free for me actually.”

You laugh and he finally addresses the annoying coin he’s been carrying around since you got back home. “I found it on the ground after Daemon sent those intruders in to try and kill me.”

You pick up the coin and study it. “So what you carry it around as a reminder of…”

“That he wants to challenge me, but doesn’t come and face me,” Aemond fills your silence and you really want to laugh because that is really unlikely, Daemon has been busy doing other stuff, but Aemond doesn’t look like he’s jesting so you just hum and nod in comprehension.

“Where were you that night anyway?” You finally ask since Jaehaerys ended up being the victim of this tragic affair.

Albeit Aemond just glances over at you once before he picks up your legs from his lap to stand up without making you uncomfortable and without answering your question, which is actually all you need to know that he was at the brothel. It doesn't take a genius to know, he would have told you otherwise.

“Where were you?” He asks as he walks around the map on the small table.

“With my family,” you mutter in annoyance and put the coin down to return your attention to your book, letting him know exactly what you feel, so as to not let you simmer in your annoyance, he walks up behind you and pushes the book down before he gently wraps his fingers on your chin and tilts your head back so you can meet his gaze.

“Don't be mad,” you mock him. “Is that what you’re going to tell me? I’m not. I am…not.”

He hums before he brings his lips down and presses a kiss on your forehead before he brings his face down and leaves a kiss on the top of your nose, causing a wobbly smile to start breaking on your face with no attempt to hold back. He has your heart swooning, and when he kisses you slowly on your lips your heart explodes and you can’t help but grin completely enamored.

“What are you reading?” He asks as he pulls back and stays crouched behind you.

“Just some Valyrian stuff, nothing here compares to the stuff in Dragonstone, but it will suffice.”

Aemond hooks his finger around the cover and presses it to the side so he can see the title. “<Blood Magic or Chosen by Gods.>” He reads out loud in High Valyrian. “That’s an interesting read.”

You sigh and close the book to mindlessly watch the cover. “This man lived in Valyria before it was destroyed, half of the things are hard to read because the book is old, but what you can see is just theories with evidence I don’t need.”

Aemond hangs his hands over the armrest and leans his face forward, leaving his lips by your ear. “What is it you’re looking for exactly?” He queries.

You stay quiet for a moment as you ponder in your hesitance of whether telling someone of your…gift or not. But then again, without any concrete knowledge, you can’t really say a thing. Thus you just pass it off as an interest. “I just read that back then, in Valyria, there were people who…weren’t hurt by fire, but it’s all…” you trail off in frustration so he continues for you.

“Stories.”

You shrug. “Well they are now, but it just caught my attention, you know? I just want to know more.” You say and glance at him.

He glances at you and studies you for a moment before he glances at the book. “My father had books he kept in his chambers that contained important knowledge of Valyria, like magic and prophecies and stories. I’ll bring them to you, I can’t see Aegon having any use for them.”

You beam at him. “That would be great. Thank you.” You lean in and press a kiss on his cheek before you grab his chin and interrogate him. “Now how do you know about these books and did not tell me?”

“I found them after you left for the North, I never got to share them with you,” he says. “And now, I had forgotten until right now.”

You hum and let him go to lay back and stare at the high ceiling. “Do you still read that book about that one dragonrider? The one with the three-headed dragon?”

Aemond gets up and shakes his head, but you know otherwise, so you giggle and sit up to expose him.

“You do!”

The corner of Aemond’s lips tug up and you assure him. “That was always your favorite, I think you wore it out.”

“You dropped it in the pond if I remember correctly,” he remarks. “So it was you who wore it out.”

“Okay, but it was not my fault—”

“You were walking on the ledge of the pond and tripped with the book in hand,” he cuts you off, making you laugh.

“Yeah, I paid for that by smelling like pond water for days, the smell would not get off my hair, no matter how hard I scrubbed.” You complain with a pout, making him laugh softly.

“I ended up finding the book for you after though, I remember I stole it from Dragonstone once when I happened to…venture too far on dragonback.”

Aemond sneaks a glance at you and questions you as he stops at the other side of the small table. “What was your furthest?”

You snicker and loll your head to the side to tell him. “The wall. I would have ventured further, but Astraea did not want to fly past that wall…After this war is over I’ll fly to Dorne,” you share happily with a smile. “I have always wanted to go to a Dornish beach.”

He scoffs. “Perhaps we will finally take it after this war is over. Vhagar is bigger, and Astraea is fast.”

“Not with Aegon we won’t,” you complain without shame as you sit back and cross a leg over the other. “After this war is over, we’ll see this Red Keep filled with all kinds of different wines and women before we see him again.”

Aemond huffs and surprises you by adding a comment. “You know my brother, he’s always lacked…well…everything.”

You scoff in agreement and glance at the map before you roll your eyes up and take a leap. “The crown needs someone smart, someone that holds responsibility at great value, who knows our histories, and has an heir.”

Aemond slowly looks up with a cold expression that's hard to read at first, but as you stare into his eye his expression thaws and you know you’re not trudging in dangerous waters. You actually hit the mark and seem to read exactly what he has in mind, you can see that with the glint that goes over his eye.

Alas just as the corner of his thin lips begin to drag up to a smirk, the door opens, bringing your conversation to a sudden end with no chance to spark it back up to avoid getting in trouble.

“Princess, My Prince,” one of Aerion’s Wetnurses greets as she brings in a sleeping Aerion.

“Marie,” you greet and watch her as she walks to Aerion’s cradle. “Did he eat well?”

The Wetnurse nods and looks back at you. “Very well, it seems we will have to increase his intake. He’s grown quite an appetite.”

You smile softly in awe. “He will be five months soon, so that’s it. I’m sure.”

Marie puts Aerion down and tucks him in, while from the entrance of your chambers yours and Aerion’s sworn protector walks in.

“Princess,” he steals your attention with a warm smile, but also ends up grabbing Aemond’s attention from the map he was studying—“uh…My Prince,” Ser Jason trails off to a whisper and bows his head. “Uh,” He pauses as Aemond slowly stands to his feet with nothing to say, he just stands there menacingly as if trying to intimidate the knight with his tall stature. But then again how can he when his eye is wide as if he had seen a ghost.

“Ser Jason,” you whisper back with a teasing smile and put yourself in the middle of the tension Aemond alone creates. “It’s quite alright Aerion won’t wake anymore.”

The knight's eyes stay stuck on Aemond, and Aemond continues to stay quiet and…surprised? You can’t know, so you continue in a normal tone of voice. “If you’re asking to take your leave for the night, then it’s fine, Ser, have a good night. I’ll see you on the Morrow.”

Ser Jason’s eyes flicker back to you and he nods slowly as he swallows back nervously. “Thank you, Princess. Good night to you too. And to you My Prince.” He doesn’t forget to add before he steps back to let the Wetnurse walk out before he closes the door and cuts the tension off.

“I do not want you being friends with him,” Aemond suddenly breaks his odd silence as he sits back down. “He’s your sworn protector, not someone you can be friends with. If I see it I will assign the old man to protect you and Aerion.” He snaps his eye up and you challenge him with a pointed glare for a second before you look down with an upset frown brought by defeat since you know it’s not something he’s willing to debate.

Then again not like it will stop you from actually talking to the knight unless Aemond tends to be by your side at all hours of the day.

“Have you…told the council of what I told you about Daemon heading to Harrenhal?” You drag out to avoid sitting in silence and getting mad over something that won’t change. No matter how much you argue.

“No,” he admits and gets up to pace around the table again. “Not yet. I will let them figure it out when the news comes.”

You lean forward to study the map and the markers scattered about the paper. “It may be a while,” you mention. “Daemon left suddenly that day, so who knows if he actually went to Harrenhal.”

Aemond hums and gently shakes his head. “I’m sure he did. Where else would he go?”

“You have a point. Now,” you smack your teeth and point to the Hightower marker on the map. “Is that Ser Criston.”

Aemond walks to your side and crouches to lay his hand over yours and press your fingers on the marker to push the marker forward.

“He will be moving all along the Crownlands to take the armies sworn to Rhaenyra,” he surprisingly shares with you, but half of your mind is on the feeling of his warm hand cupping yours and his lips purposely brushing against your ear.

“Once he has garnered enough men he will go and face the Rivermen to take Harrenhal,” he adds.

“With Daemon leaving with just his dragon,” you input your thoughts as you turn to look at him. “It will take him longer to gain any support. He may not even have men to challenge Ser Criston since he also did not have men follow after him.”

Aemond faces you with a smirk and steals a glance at your lips before he nods. “Exactly,” he praises you and strokes your chin, making you grow giddy and smile like a love-struck fool.

“I would also wager you could face Daemon now. He left in quite a mood. You would be doing me a favor,” you grumble and sigh as Aemond pulls away to walk around you with his eyes on the map.

“It would catch him by surprise,” Aemond murmurs, “but alas, too rash now. Those armies are our priority.”

You groan and he snickers.

“Will you join Ser Criston in Harrenhal?” You ask with your heart starting to pick up out of nervousness.

“Hm, in time, we will join him, yes.”

Your heart jumps a beat and you question what just came out of his lips. “We?”

Aemond’s gaze flickers up and he nods. “Vhagar and I could go alone, but I will face Daemon and his dragon, while you help Ser Criston and our armies.”

You keep your secret alliance in mind, but you can’t help it, you ooze with excitement at the thought of being part of something more grand than just sitting here by the fire or listening through walls. You did not think he would consider bringing you with him to fight.

Should you even consider it? Your mother would never allow you to take part in something so dangerous, but he is, he’s letting you do something great and you want to be a part of it. How can you throw away that opportunity?

“But not before we cut off Rhaenyra by land by taking Rooks Rest, after Ser Criston takes the Darklyn army,” Aemond adds, piquing your interest and panic.

“But isn’t facing Daemon more important when you have the numbers?” You ask as some discreet attempt to try and sway his mind.

“It would, but when they hear we are trying to take Rooks Rest, they will send a dragon, and I will be there with Vhagar to take them down.”

There’s no use of we now. He has no intention of bringing you to this part of his plan. Which is good in retrospect, you would give away your true loyalties to try and save whoever they will send. Yet a worry that you can’t let go of is you don’t want Aemond to die either.

You will send a warning to your mother about this plan when you can, but something that is clear is that you don’t want either challenger to get hurt. You are loyal to your mother, to her cause, but your heart is also loyal to your husband, it aches at the thought of Aemond getting hurt or even…meeting death.

How foolish is that?

And what good is begging him to stay when you see how eager he is to already play this plan out?

All you can do is take note of his plan and secretly worry. That’s why you just take in what he says with a strained praising smile before you share a short comment. “They won’t see it coming, not with Daemon gone.”

Aemond hums in agreement before he walks over to stroke your chin again to praise your thinking. “Exactly, my love.”

You smile at him before you lay back down and stare at the ceiling with worry that only strains your heart as you're torn between the two. While on your face, well, you make sure to stay nonchalant and hide anything he might pick up on by filling the silence with a haunting song.

.

.

.

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A/N- Alexa play “The Hanging Tree” by Rachel Zegler

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @callsignwidow @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104

[thephantomcasebook]

I'm not a book reader, but I've been intrigued by the theory that Alys Rivers uses the faces of men's true loves to hypnotize them and get into their heads. As you mentioned It's a popular idea from the books that could potentially be adapted into the show. In the show, it's suggested that Alys is 400 years old.

As you're are more familiar with the books, can you explain what Alys does there? Did she ever take on Helaena's form? I'm also curious about the Alys and Aemond relationship. Some fans, especially "Alysmond" shippers, argue that their relationship is consensual and that Aemond genuinely falls for her, even suggesting that they have a love child. However, I'm struggling to understand how a man who burns her house and spares her only to make her his bedmaid can be considered to have a consensual romance between them. Can you please help clarify this dynamic for me?

Umm ...

It's tricky, cause, there's a shit ton of theories out of and in universe about who and what Alys Rivers is.

No one really know in universe where she came from or who she is. She's just always been there. Some people think that she's Harwin and Lary's bastard sister. Other people think that she was their wet nurse. Other people can't remember a time that she wasn't at Harrenhal. She is enchanting and beautiful ... or so she seems to the men she targets.

She's tried to seduce Daemon, Criston, and Aemond in "Fire and Blood". In terms of Daemon and Criston, they rejected Alys advances, and went rushing back to their beloveds - Rhaenyra and Alicent. Criston dies shortly after rejecting Alys, in a desperate suicide rush to rescue Alicent. And Daemon dies at Harrenhal after having a confrontation with Aemond and Alys before his fatal duel with Aemond over the Gods Eye.

The book doesn't go into detail exactly about how Alys seduced Aemond or by what means she did it. But it is accounted as strange and really out of character for Aemond (in universe). After making Alys his submissive bed slave after taking Harrenhal, Aemond starts acting weird and psychotic. Then, he basically desserts the Greens and the War, leaving both Criston and Daeron high and dry. Aemond decides not to rescue Alicent and Helaena like Criston is desperately urging him to. Instead, Aemond decided to take Harrenhal for himself and basically become a sort of defacto king/warlord.

So, Criston abandons Aemond and Alys to take what men they have left to go and try and rescue Alicent. Meanwhile, Aemond and Alys begin a destructive and devastating reign of terror through the Riverlands, buring alive any Blacks in their castles and keeps. Making Daeron and Criston, basically, the last men standing for the Greens. And when Criston is killed, it all falls on Daeron as the last of the Greens. And my boy, Daeron, becomes MVP of the Dance - he just wants his mommy back!

The theory is that Alys sees Aemond in the same light as Melisandre sees Stannis and Jon Snow. There's some sort of bigger destiny or importance to Aemond's blood and legacy that Alys takes upon herself to preserve by having his son.

The most popular theory is that Alys and Aemond are the direct ancestors of Catelyn and it's through the wedding of Ned and Catelyn, the blood of Wargs and dragons, that gives Bran his ultra Three Eyed Raven powers.

There's actually no scenes of Aemond and Helaena ever interacting, despite them dying the same day, with Helaena killing herself the very evening that Aemond is killed. Also there's the strange coincidence of the fact that their two dragons die in a similar way. With Vhagar dying from a large fall and Dreamfyre dying from being pierced in the eye.

But the idea of Alys seducing men by using the faces of the women they love or taking on their attributes comes from both Daemon and Criston's interactions with her in the book, and how both were inspired to go back to Rhaenyra and Alicent quickly after rejecting her. And with Daemon's vision in 2x03, it seems to be a proven theory.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Just finished watching 2x03 and as I said last week, I will write a full review later, I just don't have the time right this moment.

But one thing I do want to talk about real quick, is this theme that ran through the episode about how in time no one will remember what started the war, and all the discussion around what started the war, was it aemond losing an eye, jaehaerys death, luke's death etc.

Here's the thing though, whilst I understand what they are trying to say here, violence begets violence and eventually people are just hating each other and killing each other and don't even remember why they hate each other any more and it'll all be better if they just talked it out and sang kumbaya around a camp fire. But first off that idea is incredibly unrealistic because how do you ask a mother or a father not to seek vengeance for the death of their child. Secondly the whole history won't remember thing is just false, and we know it's false because in fire and blood, you know the history book covering the dance, it says this:

Lucerys Velaryon died with his dragon, Munkun insists. This is undoubtedly correct. The Prince was thirteen years of age. His body was never found. And with his death, the war of ravens and envoys and marriage pacts came to an end, and the war of fire and blood began in earnest.

So the history books do remember what started the war and they cite lucerys' death at the hands of aemond as what started it. Also if you look at all the wars grrm has written they all start the same way, with first blood being spilt, with an unlawful death or murder. The dance of the Dragons was started when aemond murdered luke, Robert's rebellion despite being named Robert's rebellion wasn't actually started by Robert, despite popular belief it also wasn't started with lyanna running off the rhaegar either, it was started when the mad king murdered Ned's father and brother. The war of the five kings was started when joffrey unlawfully executed Ned. In all of these wars, before these deaths, there was always a chance that things could be turned around and some chance for peace and for war and blood shed to be avoided. But each of these deaths were the turning point, the point of no return.

So, in my opinion I don't think there is any debate or question as to what started the dance of the Dragons, it was started with the death of lucerys and yes history does remember that.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dragon 2x03: Quotes - Part. I

"- He is the basest of villains. He sullies the grave of his brother. (Jacaerys Velaryon) - I cannot fault him for keeping his oath. (Rhaenyra) - Otto Hightower would never have allowed this. Hotter blood has prevailed, I think. The young men have taken the bit in their teeth. They wish to punish to avenge. Soon they will not even remember what it was that began the war in the first place. (Rhaenys) - That is easy enough. They usurped my throne. (Rhaenyra) - That is one answer. Or was it when the child was beheaded? Or when Aemond killed Luke... or when Luke took Aemond's eye? We teeter now at the point where none of it will matter. And the desire to kill and burn takes hold and reason is forgotten. There may be another way. Alicent Hightower. (Rhaenys) - When last we met, Alicent said I would make a fine queen. You've seen what has happened since then. (Rhaenyra) - There is no war so hateful to the gods as a war between kin. And no war so bloody as a war between dragons. (Rhaenys) - What she did... (Rhaenyra) - It is not her but the men around her who seek bloodshed. (Rhaenys) - She permitted it. (Rhaenyra) - As you permitted the murder of a little boy in his bed." (Rhaenys)

"- You've appointed new knights to the Kingsguard, Your Grace. (Ser Criston) - To replace those we lost. The last one needlessly, some might say. (Aegon II) - Ser Arryk was awarded the great duty of ending Rhaenyra's challenge. He failed to discharge it. (Ser Criston) - He failed because the scheme was rash. (Alicent) - Perhaps, Your Grace, but we cannot all hide in our castles waiting for war to come to us. (Ser Criston) - As now it surely will. (Alicent) - As now, it already has. House Bracken took it upon themselves to attack the Backwoods, who declared for the pretender. Lord Samwell Blackwood himself is slain. (Aemond) - Good. First blood in our name. (Aegon II) - Both sides took heavy losses, Your Grace. I'm not entirely certain we can declare this a victory. (Tyland Lannister) - The Blackwoods and the Brackens have feuded for centuries. This is nothing more than an excuse for them to indulge their ancient grudge. It's no true war. (Jasper Wylde) - Call it what you will... I call it war. And so will Dragonstone. (Aegon II) - The question is, what are we going to do about it? (Alicent) - We send a raven to Lord Tully. (Grand Maester Orwyle) - These houses are his vassals, are they not? He must control them. (Alicent) - Lord Grover Tully is a flaccid, old fool who couldn't control his cock in a cunny. Begging your pardon, Your Grace. (Jasper Wylde) - Do you have any better suggestions, Lord Jasper? (Aegon) - This council must rediscover the discipline it lately had if it's to be of any use. (Alicent) - We will add their numbers to our own and then turn west. Where I will enlist the Brackens, subdue the Riverlands, and take Harrenhal. (Ser Criston) - That is precisely why you must remain, brother. It's a brave thought, but we cannot risk your loss. (Aemond) - I'm as fearsome as any of them." (Aegon II)

"- You saved my life. What is the life of a queen worth these days? (Mysaria) - Hm, you wish to be rewarded. (Rhaenyra) - As, I would think, you would wish to reward me. (Mysaria) - What price would you set? (Rhaenyra) - A place at your court. (Mysaria) - You said your earnest desire was to flee Westeros. (Rhaenyra) - And you let me go. You showed me grace when you could have withheld it. I'm not often surprised. (Mysaria) - One turn for another, then. (Rhaenyra) - I know the workings of the Red Keep, and the movements of those who serve there. That is worth more than gold to you now. (Mysaria) - And what is my worth to you? (Rhaenyra) - I would punish the Hightowers for what they have done. To me... to those who served me. But more than that, I know the struggles of the smallfolk of King's Landing. They will be ruled either by you or by the usurper. And only one of you has shown yourself to be merciful. (Mysaria) - Well, I hope you do not confuse mercy with pliancy. (Rhaenyra) - Are they always like this? (Mysaria) - Seasmoke, my late lord husband's dragon. He's grown restless of late. We cannot know why. (Rhaenyra) - Maybe he's lonely." (Mysaria)

"- You must take the little ones further. To Pentos, I think. (Rhaenyra) - Where my mother died. (Rhaena) - It is safer than anywhere in Westeros. Write to Prince Reggio. If he will have you, then go to him. I am sorry to put this upon you. It breaks my heart to send my boys away, not knowing when I will see them again. But you have seen what may befall them here I need you to be the mother to them that I cannot. Teach them, train them, guard them as a dragon guards her eggs." (Rhaenyra)

"- I've survived many a battle. I do not mean to be felled by poisoned peas. (Daemon) - I'll admit that my cock's peas aren't exactly the stuff of legend, but poison? (Simon Strong) - Well, it's an easy way to kill a dragonrider. (Daemon) - If you've not yet surmised, you are welcome here. (Simon) - And what of your lord, Larys Strong, hm? He who sits at the false court of Aegon? (Daemon) - Larys Clubfoot is no lord of mine. He is a scourge upon this castle and this family. Do you not think it's strange that his father.... my nephew, Lord Lyonel, perished by fire? And his son, too, here in this damp place? It was the first fire here since Balerion ended the line of Harren the Black. Even in the summer, we struggle to light the hearths. So, no, you will find no loyalty to Larys Strong here, my prince. (Simon) - Your Grace. (Daemon) - Forgive me. Um.. I'd only assumed that as consort... (Simon) - Then we are reminded of the perilousness of assumption. (Daemon) - Indeed. Your grace. (Daemon) - Harrenhal is the largest castle in the Seven Kingdoms. Or perhaps that has escaped your attention. (Daemon) - But it is also, not to be argumentative, in something of a state of disrepair since your forbear incinerated much of it with his dragon. (Simon) - Well, that is precisely why we must bring it into a state of repair. (Daemon) - Even if we possessed the coin, my prince... Your Grace, to what possible end? (Simon) - There are 40'000 swords in the Riverlands, the largest undeclared host in the realm. Only Harrenhal is a size enough to garrison them. (Daemon) - You should know that a substantial number of those swords have now declared and are presently at war. Houses Bracken and Blackwood have long detested one another. (Simon) - Why? (Daemon) - Oh, well... the answer to that is... lost in time. Sin begets sin begets sin. (Simon) - Summon your lord paramount so that I may treat with him myself and turn them to our cause. (Daemon) - That would be Lord Grover Tully, but he grows frail. It's said that he can no longer speak.... nor seal his bowels. Begging your pardon for the impression. His grip on his bannermen is weak. They feel they can do as they please. I will speak with him nonetheless. (Simon) - People should obey their liege lord... whatever his condition. Perhaps the presence of the crown and a dragon will sharpen minds around these parts. (Daemon) - Might I ask, Your Grace.... if you are successful, well, when you are successful... what then? (Germund Strong) - We march on King's Landing and take the throne. (Daemon) - The throne. (Simon) - It's a big chair made of swords." (Daemon)

"- How exhilarating to arrive at court after three long months on the road to find my lord father, who served three kings faithfully, unseated as Hand of the King. And by a man from such modest beginnings. What a giddying ascent the gods have bestowed on you." (Ser Gwayne Hightower)

"- May the Seven guide you, good knight... and lead you not into shadow and death. (Alicent) - I thank Your Grace for her prayers." (Ser Criston)

"- Then we must seize the hour and act before our enemy does. They have penetrated our castle walls, and now the Riverlands are aflame after the Battle at the Burning Mill. (Lord Celtigar) - How fares Prince Daemon with our army? (Rhaenyra) - There has been no word from Prince Daemon, Your Grace. (Maester Gerardys) - Then we must press what advantage we do have. (Ser Alfred Broome) - And what is that? (Rhaenyra) - Dragons. Send them all out. Start turning Green strongholds to our cause and burn those who resist. (Ser Alfred Broome) - No. If dragons begin fighting dragons, we invite our own destruction. Fear of it is in itself a weapon. (Rhaenyra) - The Greens will make the same calculation. The value of a sword is not within its scabbard. (Ser Alfred Broome) - We will secure victory with armies, not with dragons alone. The Greens understand that. The Vale and the North will send men. We must give Daemon time. (Rhaenyra) - Ah, Your Grace, you have witnessed firsthand just how vulnerable you are. Prince Daemon is abroad, and Aegon's factions are enraged at the death of his son. You have never been so exposed. (Ser Alfred Broome) - Perhaps it is time for you to think about secreting yourself somewhere safe, while we remain here as a source of distraction for the enemy. (Lord Celtigar) - You propose to conduct the war in my absence. (Rhaenyra) - It would merely be a precaution... (Lord Celtigar) - It would be treason. You are fortunate you took it no further. (Rhaenyra) - This council would do well to remember that their queen wears the crown of my grandsire, Jaehaerys the Conciliator. A prudent ruler, the wisest of Targaryen kings, whose reign outlasted every other... even Aegon the Conqueror's." (Rhaenys)

"- It would displease neither Rhaenyra nor the gods if Rhaena were named heir to Driftmark. (Rhaenys) - Rhaena? Lord of the Tides? The girl knows nothing of ships, nor even of dragons. (Corlys) - There is Rhaena or there is Joffrey. Both soon to be far from the creak of ships and the ocean's roar. (Rhaenys) - Then we must hope to see our way forward in time... (Corlys) - And if there is no time? We are at war, Corlys (Rhaenys) - If something were to befall you... (Rhaenys) - Then... it is well that I am a good sailor. (Corlys)

[xanthippe74]

The mood this year, as this header photo demonstrates, was Le Tired. Just physically and emotionally slogging along. Brain stuck on perpetual static. A pull-the-covers-over-my-head sort of year. I read a few books, watched a lot of shows, found new songs to listen to on repeat, and spent way too much time futzing around on Tumblr.

But that's not what this post is about! This is to remind myself that I did accomplish writer-ly things this year, even if it didn't feel like it sometimes. So here's my 2023 Fandom Year in Review:

Drarry

🐈 A Dreadful Invasion (of the Feline Persuasion) rated G | 6K words

Most of the time, it’s easy for Harry to forget that Draco Malfoy is his next-door neighbour—until the night Malfoy seemingly goes round the twist in his back garden. Of course Harry has to investigate. A birthday gift for @caroll-in.

🍷 Under the Table rated T, 4K words

A string of nearly-insufferable dinner parties has made Draco acquainted with Harry Potter’s completely insufferable, social-climbing boyfriend. But tonight it seems like Potter’s finally had enough, and Draco’s more than happy to watch it all play out from across the table.

Microfics: Different  |  Thalassophile  |  Role play  | Careless |  Mama’s Gun  |  Raven  |  You Should Probably Leave  |  Afraid of the Dark  |  Eerie

WIP progress: I added about 25K to my Drarry retelling of Howl's Moving Castle. The working title is "Skybound" and it will be about 55 to 60K words when complete (by spring 2024, god help me!). Featuring: lots of banter, secret identities, adventures and misadventures in a floating house, a plucky house-elf, and (of course) a fire demon who wants to make a bargain.

9-1-1 fics, HP recs, and 2023 highlights under the cut!

9-1-1/Buddie

🌧️ It pours, man it pours rated T | 11K words

An endless rainstorm. A head-on collision on a dark canyon road. Eddie and Buck find themselves stranded with a woman in labor after they’re cut off from the rest of the 118 by a flash flood. With the fate of their team unknown, can they weather the night ahead—and mend the rift Buck caused by trying to kiss his best friend?

💣 A Few Good Pranks rated T | 4K words

The firefighters of the 118 decide to give Bobby a turn at pranking them after seeing how disappointed he was to be left out. And since two heads are better than one, why not three? Or four? If only they could figure out who's pranking and who isn't, and who the intended victim is. It's all in good fun, though—as long as everyone is too distracted to notice that Buck and Eddie keep sneaking off alone.

❤️‍🩹Let It Be Me rated T | 1.8K words

After another Buckley Family reunion-turned-disaster, Buck makes a decision about his parents. Of course the 118 has his back. Or, Bobby employs some LAFD equipment to help Buck out—and tell him something he needs to hear.

Episode codas/fix-it ficlets: 1x01 | 1x03 | 2x01 | 2x03 | 6x10 | 6x11 | 6x12 | 6x13 | 6x15

WIP progress: First chapter of a season 3/canon divergence Buddie fic. Featuring: angst with a happy ending, a secret marriage of convenience, and pandemic bed sharing.

HP Rec List

I was inspired by this post to rec twelve favorite fan works from 2023 in twelve days in December. It actually took fourteen days, but I did it!

💖 12 Favorites from 2023 💖

(after posting those twelve, of course I thought of a few more faves that I missed. I'll try to share them soon!)

2023 Highlights

I'm so very grateful for the wonderful, funny, imaginative people here who shared their creative works, the memes that made them laugh, photos of their pets, gif sets of shows I didn't know I needed to watch, and insights into the characters we love. You all got me through the year, honestly.

I had a good time doodling some Halloween treats for Inbox Trick-or-Treating. I hope it will become an annual Tumblr event! Thanks to the folks who rang my doorbell that night and the other blogs who gave out treats.

I truly treasured every kudos, comment, and rec I received this year. I was also very fortunate to receive a few special gifts:

🎙️ EllaMcSmellBella recorded a Podfic of "Spooked in Salem," my Drarry 'Round the World fic.

🎙️ Spades/bumblingbees recorded a Podfic of "Crimson Neon."

📕 @cheriecherishchen wrote a lovely rec for "Vortex" and designed gorgeous book covers for that fic and its sequel, "Riptide."

✏️ @saijordison drew this incredible piece of art for "Riptide."

And finally, if you read all the way to the end of this post, I'm grateful for YOU. 😁

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and an excellent 2024!

[cyarskj84]

blackloveeeee 

RAVEN BAXTER & DEVON CARTER That's So Raven ‣ 2x03:"Run, Raven, Run"

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: ncis: hawai’i s2 from ncis 19x21

since the first ep back is a crossover with ncis i just decided to watch those eps first. if this is their way of getting more ppl to watch the og…it’s working lmao

— ncis 19x21 + ncis hawaii 2x01

roman’s hilarious

“salted or unsalted?” “i…did not taste them” lmao

i don’t like this deputy director at all

parker’s ex wife is definitely lying and probably setting him up

“if i’m the sucker, consider me licked” 😭

*pretends to be shocked*

lmaooo they got the commander good in that diner

at least parker is suspicious

WHAT???

hm. i wonder if the commander is the raven

damn this storyline is insane

jane and nick would be such a hot couple why lie

oh wow it’s the prisoner

kate and lucy are so cute

“don’t worry, you’re gonna get to know the inmates, believe me” pls

oh they got played

bombside manner 😭😭

i love bam-bam she’s hilarious

“screw you, torres!” “you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” skjfhghcjjs

IT WAS A SETUP

i’ll never get tired of ocean shots

this crossover was SO MUCH better than the first one omg

— ncis: hawai’i 2x02

kate wants to tell her boss about lucy so she can meet her team 🥹

he was shot in the face?? how horrific

ernie gossiping 😭

“first off, it’s a movie about family” dkfjgjfjdn

mai tai o’clock 😭😭

that’s a lot of blood

i love that kate’s venting to jesse

NOT THE CROWBAR

that chase was cool as hell

“i don’t have friends, i got ohana” lmaoo i love them

“it’s like a trilogy, right?” lmfaooo

“i’ll be right here, with ya” aww

“welcome to the fbi family” 🫶🏻🥹

THEY’RE SO CUTE

— 2x03

why is this woman so nervous…

oh shit they cut her brakes

“i’m like half your size!” 😭😭

oop not lucy coming at her with her full government name

“well now you’re just trying to turn me on 😏” LUCY CLAPPING TO GET HER TO FOCUS PLS 😭

SHE FULL ON BODY SLAMMED HER ICB

wait, what??

this audrey looks like she’s wearing a really bad wig

bam-bam doesn’t remember jesse lmao

“but mostly, we spoke the language of love” 😭

“ohhhh i see it now!” hours later lmao

oh redhead looked like she saw a ghost when she saw kate for the first time

“open yourself up to more mopping” plsss

oh shit this is intense

“my love” 🥹

“being with you has changed everything” i love them y’all i really do

— 2x04

a backup shoe 😭

hell no i would never think to cook in someone’s house when i’ve never even met them before

i do not like cassandra at all

they were all scared to death…what a terrible way to die

“their fear is his high” how evil

no fucking way it’s the ranger who was helping them earlier

PIKE??????

THAT WAS INSANE

jane lying and saying she likes cassandra pls

besides the season premiere, this was my favorite episode of the season so far

— 2x05

oh my God

lmao that kacy scene was so awkward

i can’t wait to find out who this aj person is

all of these construction men are hot…assholes but. hot.

kate really put her foot in her mouth with that financially responsible comment

not him blaming ben + the team for what’s happening as if he didn’t get into bed with them in the first place

this ep was frustrating but really good

i don’t trust aj at all. he’s probably the one who had the brothers attacked.

that was such a beautiful ending

— 2x06

i’m on daniel’s side with this one sorry

God this is making me never want to leave my house again…fentanyl scattered all over the beach are you fr

“if the devil got into the drug business, fentanyl would be his product of choice” so true

“it’s not every day i get to spend time with my little buddy” the smile on kai’s face when he thought ernie was talking about him is making me lose it

i’d like to thank the writers for gracing us with shirtless kai scenes

bam-bam and ernie beefing is hilarious

oh my God i really thought jesse was gone

kai really threw down that bag so he could hug jesse jdjgjvjdhsvc

alex getting a job at kai’s dads restaurant oh wow 😭

“your dad doesn’t know what he missed out on” i love their friendship so so much

stella knows there’s something wrong

well that was unexpected

i want more annoyed kate

jesse’s insane

lucy “my love” tara and kate “my sweet” whistler you are so adorable

the tear ☹️

i get the writers needed an excuse for yasmine being gone but lucy deciding to spend four months on a boat in the middle of the ocean is so out of character

— 2x08

kai is such a SWEETHEART

not jesse being a theater kid omg?

“the pirate queen” “no, just stop. you’re embarrassing yourself” the way kai just nods 😭

mcu mention oh this is hell

alan’s an idiot

ernie 😭😭😭

okay a movie shoot was not expected

lucy needs to come home NOW

“walk away” he is very much not going to do that

not at all important to the plot but charlie’s neck is so freaking thick lmfao

cassandra needs to pack her shit and go already

jane is such a badass i don’t care if what she did was a stupid move

they did alan so foul

oh shit kai’s dad took money from those men???

CHARLEMAGNE 😭😭

oh jane’s gonna kill alex

[90363462]

RAVEN BAXTER & DEVON CARTER That’s So Raven ‣ 2x03:“Run, Raven, Run”

[youlooklikeabeeandilikebees]

Ok here is the reasoning behind each choice of clip in terms of what I felt each taskmaster moment represented:

1x01 - Lolly's "Friendship is truth" = the trio's close friendship that's very well established in the first episode

1x02 - Iain's "scumbag" = Tully is a scumbag lol

1x03 - Joe's "how'd you feel about death" = the episode focuses on death

1x04 - Doc's nursery-rhyme turned rap = Mitchell and George not always knowing how to talk to Bernie and trying to connect with him

1x05 - Mike's "Tick tock it's tough guy o'clock" = I know other stuff happens in this episode but I always just remember the awkward fight with Seth and I thought Mike joking about being uncharacteristically violent matched Annie and George's similarly out of character violence.

1x06 - Ok this one was probably the only clip that I knew immediately had to be David Correos and also that it probably had to be something from the diss rap task. So yeah this one is referencing killing Herrick. David's intensity in hyping himself up, their team name being "the three friends," and them telling Matt and Urzila "Fuck you" all just felt way too perfect for that whole climactic sequence.

2x01 - David pretending that his task went "Perfect" then walking off and screaming = George's delayed reaction to finding out he infected Nina

2x02 - Josh and Anne's "That was gay!" = this being the only episode in the show with a confirmed gay character, Carl.

2x03 - So this is my least rewatched episode of the whole show so it was a hard one for me to do. I just remember Mitchell's line where he goes "My name is John Mitchell and I've killed more people than you've met" and I was like well I guess it sounds like he's on his top sensitivity level lol

2x04 - Nish's sudden outburst of "bubbly fuck" which has immediate consequences = George's new swearing tic making things difficult for him

2x05 - Johnny's "me and teddy are going on a bender" = Mitchell's 1960s bender with Herrick in the flashback

2x06 - Judi forgetting who Greg is and pretending she said "Heg" = Alan Cortez losing his psychic powers and awkwardly making things up on stage

2x07 - Daisy and Richard ravenously eating watermelon = box tunnel massacre. This was another easy one. I almost changed it to Romesh and Tim eating the watermelon after smashing it but I thought Daisy and Richard feeding it to each other and Daisy making zombie-like noises just captured it way better lol.

2x08 - Lou hiding from Alex in the bin = Mitchell sneaking up on everyone at the facility

3x01 - Bob's "I'm a sinner" = Mitchell admitting his past crimes (sins) to Lia

3x02 - Mark's cheeky texts to Greg that go from playfully cheeky to just "I have a big dick" = Adam trying to be suave but mostly just being crude and awkward

3x03 - Victoria yearning for death = Sasha accepting death

3x04 - Ed's "If I'd have known in advance I wouldn't have made a baby" = George and Nina worrying about their baby

3x05 - Ivo's "curse of politeness" = the way that the gang have to pretend that everything is normal and be polite and calm in front of the social worker.

3x06 - Greg's "compaatative daaad" = George spending time with his dad (who I wouldn't call very competitive but this just had to be the chosen clip, it's too funny)

3x07 - Josh being confused about whether or not the person he just airhorned was actually Paul or not = Mitchell's paranoia about who the wolf-shaped bullet is

3x08 - Paul's "bastard's crying innit" = everyone crying at Mitchell's death

4x01 - Ok this was one of the hardest ones, if not the absolute hardest and I didn't have time to actually rewatch every single Taskmaster episode to find the perfect clip. I wanted to find a task where someone did a skit about the apocalypse or something but I couldn't (and only after posting did I realize that maybe Jenny Tian's scarecrow apocalypse could've worked but oh well). So I went with Sally's surprised reaction to her absinthe-marmite on toast cause I feel like episode 4x01 is such a weird episode that feels very different from the rest of the show so her reaction to the toast was sort of like our reactions to the show idk. Also the introduction of a more sci-fi like apocalypse future when the show hasn't previously had any storylines like that is sort of like two things slapped together that maybe shouldn't be (aka absinthe and bread).

4x02 - This was another hard one. I considered the clip from series 4 of Lolly, Noel, and Joe's bathtub task where they keep sabotaging each other since that kind of matched the awkward incongruencies between Annie and Tom v. the new trio. But I felt that I couldn't really trim down that clip without losing the humor of it. So I went with Greg talking about Joe and Sian's awkward meeting cause episode 4x02 is one with a lot of awkwardness between the two groups. Also Joe saying he's "just a weird guy" kinda captures Hal pretty well.

4x03 - Rhod's edgy gothic poem = Michaela's edgy gothic poem

4x04 - John secretly sabotaging his team = Kirby secretly sabotaging the trio

4x05 - James telling Greg to open the box and Greg going full teacher-mode and scolding him about his language = Yvonne constantly going full teacher-mode and scolding Adam for his language

4x06 - Guy and Paul's awkward but sweet date = Tom and Allison's awkward but sweet relationship

4x07 - This was another hard one and originally I was trying to find a task relating to a nightclub but landed on Roisin making Alex eat the hot toothpaste pie cause it made me think of Cutler getting Hal to drink blood. They both are very reluctant to do it (for very different reasons lol) but ultimately give in haha.

4x08 - This was one of the other really hard ones (what is it about season 4 that was so hard to capture with taskmaster lol). I wanted to find a task with some explosion-like creation to imitate the bomb but couldn't find something that seemed to match well enough without rewatching 17 seasons. But Julian politely insulting Alex by saying that Alex and confident aren't two words you normally associate really reminded me of Mr. Snow with just the way he says it.

5x01 - Lucy, Sam, and Julian badly running a hotel = Hal and Tom getting jobs at the hotel. I wish I could just put the entire hotel task as the clip for this one haha. I tried to pick the most chaotic clip from it. I realize that they don't actually do much hotel work in this episode though but it is the episode where they get hired.

5x02 - Mike's haunted house trying to scare Alex = the trio's house being haunted by Oliver who's trying to scare them

5x03 - Aisling's "dignity intact" dancing in her underwear = seems like something Lady Mary would do lol

5x04 - Ed realizing he's been put on a team with David = Tom being snobbish about Bobby

5x05 - Ed's nice date with the chickpea only for the chickpea to be tragically killed = Tom liking Natasha only for her to be tragically killed

5x06 - Joe begging "please don't take this away from me" = the trio initially not wanting to leave their human lives but also how we as viewers don't want the show to end :(

every being human episode described by taskmaster clips

[cyarskj52]

blackloveeeee

Sep 28

RAVEN BAXTER & DEVON CARTER That's So Raven ‣ 2x03:"Run, Raven, Run"

[cyarsk5230]

blackloveeeee

Sep 28

RAVEN BAXTER & DEVON CARTER That's So Raven ‣ 2x03:"Run, Raven, Run"

[whumpypepsigal]

Omg, that panic attack scene you shared from The Code was amazing! Thank you so much for sharing it ☺! I've been really into that particular trope recently and find it quite difficult to find examples of in media so that really hit the spot! Do you know of any other good panic attack scenes to rec? X

🥰 glad you enjoyed The Code clip- that was an amazing scene right? loved it too haha.

yeah, here’s a good compilation to start with xx

here are my favs:

Dublin Murders 1x01 (oh rob! the man goes through heavy emotional whump throughout the series)

Mindhunter 1x10 & 2x01

Prodigal Son (MY FAV MALCOLM 🥺) 1x01 / 1x05 / 1x07 / 1x10 / 2x03

Tatau 1x05

The Block Island Sound (2021)

Teen Wolf 3x04 x & x / 3x11 x & x / 3x14 / 5x05

Fringe 3x19

Anthropoid (2016)

Deadwater Fell 1x01

The Rookie 2x09

The Boys 1x01

Rush 1x05

The Umbrella Academy 1x05

Blindspot 2x15

Iron Man 3

The Beast Must Die (miniseries) ((just recently watched this and it’s really really good!)

and of course the recent ones from Outer banks 2x01 & 2x07 (7th GIF)

so that’s my list. enjoy! and please, if anyone here has any panic attack scenes to recommend, don’t hesitate to chime in 💕

update:

Korean tv series- Kim Do Ki’s panic attack list (thank you @dolcifusa lovely gifs 🥰)

from a dear anon (thank you kindly 💙):

“A few more anxiety/panic attack scenes: True Beauty (2020) 1x5, 1x8 and 1x11, Class 1x6, Wild for all Mankind 2x4, Mad Men 4x10, Never Have I Ever 2x3 (not even sure this one is worth mentioning because it's extremely brief but thought I'd throw it in there anyway😂), Casualty 27x35 and 31×40, Poldark 3x6, Brothers and Sisters 2x7, Good Trouble 2x15, Suits 5x3, Cherry (2021), Mr. Corman 1x2, The Beach Boys: An American Family, Home and Away 5647, Teen Wolf 3x4 (Isaac) and 3x14 (Stiles), 13 reasons why 4x2 and 4x3 (Clay) and 4x6 (Alex), Manchester by the Sea, Sex Education 1x6 and 2x6, Emmerdale 17/02/17, 02/03/17, 03/03/17 and 06/04/17, Ravenous 1999, Neighbours 8053, 8054 and 8650, Goede tijden, slechte tijden/GTST 23/12/14, 31/12/14 and 01/01/15. There's also the scene from Wanted 2008 even if it's later revealed to be an effect of his ability to distribute lots of adrenaline to his brain rather than an actual panic attack.”

[pricetagofficial]

My Brother Reacts: Titans 2x03

“So is losing an eye run in the family?”

“No Rachel calm down”

“Kori is literally a mother and Donna is the Wine Aunt and Dawn is that crackhead aunt we all want to ignore”

“Oh look it’s the messed up dads crew”

“Why does he look animated”

“He’s gonna kill Dr. Light isn’t he?”

“I think that’s the only person to survive after making fun of his eye”

“You’re not one to talk”

“Noooooooo Kori”

“Kori noooooooooooo”

“Kori stop”

“Bad Kori”

“Ooooh you got too big for your britches”

“Yeah it’s called a new haircut”

“Uhhhhhhhh death destruction, darkness. This is Raven”

“What are you doing”

“Kori why do you got that face like you're going to trip him”

“Is she really stopping to go help Rachel? She really is a mother”

“How does light cook you?”

“Hank, Dawn don’t deserve you”

“No Todd no”

“This is a last name issue, TODD NO”

“You know one day you’re going to do this and it isn’t going to end well”

“How did you get that close and he didn’t even notice?”

“Oh he called him Jr Robin that’s not going to end well”

“Would Dr. Light make a lightsaber out of a flashlight”

“Oh shnap he is learning Dick has a point to his teaching like Sensei Wu”

“Jason I think you got him”

“You done messed up”

“Whooooo boy you messed up”

“You done messed up a-a-ron”

“Garfield, forget Jason you need to live.”

“Run, live a happy life and turn into a tiger”

“Live a happy tiger life”

2x02 2x04

[blodreina-noumou]

What's your favorite underrated Murphy moment?

I can only pick one? Impossible! I’ll give you my top 3. In no particular order, because this man is underrated in countless ways!

1 - “Your plan was better, let’s go.”

In 4x01, Emori is scavenging and preparing to flee Polis in the aftermath of the City of Light fiasco. Murphy manages to convince her that they’ll be safe with Skaikru, which is a sweet scene on its own. But my favorite moment of his comes when we see him next. 

Polis is tense, on the verge of breaking out into battle, and Skaikru is planning how they’ll keep the peace long enough for Roan to wake up and retake control. Murphy walks up to Bellamy, who’s standing with Indra and Kane. Murphy only needs to hear about thirty seconds of their plan - which includes Bellamy risking his life and offering Azgeda guns, to keep Echo occupied long enough for Abby to save Roan - before he realizes that his assumptions of safety among his people were wrong. Still he plays along for a few moments more, quietly accepts Bellamy’s gun, and goes to pretend to stand post. But in reality, he finds Emori again, and says: 

“Remember what I said about being safe with my people? Yeah, your plan was better, let’s go.”

It’s a small moment, but it shows so much about what makes Murphy amazing. He’s a survivor, not because he’s “a cockroach,” but because he’s adaptable, charming, and resourceful. This scene shows that subtly but very clearly. He hears new information, gets his hands on a weapon, and changes his plans in the span of a single scene, without doing much more than staying quiet and assessing the situation - something most other characters in this show really struggle to do.

2 - “Do I get a gun now?”

In 2x03, Bellamy and Finn are leading a team in the woods to find Clarke - a team which includes Murphy, who is pretty fresh off his Total Douchebag phase of s1. Bellamy and Finn are including him in the search party out of a lack of options more than anything else, and Murphy himself is tagging along to avoid the scrutiny of Team Adult, who have recently touched down on Earth. Nobody trusts each other, and Bellamy is still treating Murphy as expendable.

Bellamy barks out orders to his squad, leaving Murphy without an assignment until the very end. Monroe asks what Murphy will do, causing him to quip: “Yeah, do I get a gun now?” 

Bellamy snarks, “Something like that.”

The next we see of Murphy, he’s crouched at the base of a tree, tapping two stones together, looking anxious but determined. He manages to lead the Grounder they’ve targeted to a secluded spot, where Bellamy can knock him out.

At this point, although we’ve had the humanizing moment of Murphy telling Raven his story, as they both lay dying on the floor of the dropship, Murphy is still a not-yet-reformed antagonist. He hasn’t taken part in trying to save the girl on the cliff, yet, and we haven’t seen him in contrast to Finn’s later unhinged violence. He’s got a long way to go from “guy who peed on someone who asked for water” to “dashing hero who got the girl and also became a godking.” 

Because of that, there are so many wonderful little moments that help transform him in s2, but this scene is one of my favorites. It’s one of the first times we get to see Murphy used as straight-up comic relief, which is something the show will go on to fully embrace about him in the later seasons.

But it’s also one of the first times the characters get to see that Murphy actually can be a team player, and that he will put himself on the line, given the proper circumstances. Murphy has the most reason out of any of them to be afraid of the Grounders, to want nothing to do with them, to protect himself above all else - he was tortured by them, brutally, then used as a biological weapon against his people by them, and then tortured again. 

It would’ve been 100% his right to say, “No, go float yourself, I’m not facing these monsters without a gun.” But he’s brave, and far more heroic than he ever gets credit for, especially early on. This aspect of his personality only continues to develop and blossom over the next five seasons, and it’s beautiful to watch.

3 - “Tell me about Harper.”

4x13 is actually one of my all-time favorite episodes. I think it’s one of the few times this show has managed to expertly blend meaningful character moments with a compelling, exciting plot. We get to see so many sides of everyone, and the exchanges between Murphy and Monty are some of the best.

Monty (somewhat rightfully) distrusts and dislikes Murphy at this point, as the only real experience he’s had with him was when Murphy threatened to kill Jasper in early s1. Monty is freshly grieving Jasper, and it’s clear he resents Murphy’s presence. But Monty and Murphy must work together, if any of them stand a chance of surviving - including the two women they each love above anyone else, Harper and Emori, respectively.

The men are struggling to carry back a machine vital to their survival on The Ring. Monty has injured himself by removing his gloves in an effort to recover the machine, causing serious radiation burns on his hands, and he’s in a lot of pain. Despite Monty’s less-than-warm attitude towards him, Murphy does everything he can to support Monty and to distract him from his pain. 

The entire exchange is worth rereading, if it’s been a moment for y’all (it had been, for me):

(After forcing his gloves back over his radiation-burned hands, Monty reaches to lift the machine.)

Murphy: Hey, no no no no no, not with your hands, okay? I’ll do it.

Monty: It’s too heavy to carry all the way by yourself. On three. One, two, three!

(They lift the machine together, and Monty screams in agony.)

Murphy: Who knew you were a secret badass?

(Murphy and Monty start carrying the machine together, over the uneven terrain, through the pouring black rain.

Monty screams in pain again. It’s clear each step is excruciating.)

Murphy: Hey hey hey, watch your step. It’s probably a bad idea to drop the thing that’s gonna save our lives, huh?

(Monty is starting to flag, his exhaustion apparent in his face. He keeps grunting and crying out in pain.)

Murphy: Okay, okay - focus on me. Tell me about Harper.

(Monty stares up at Murphy incredulously, swaying on the spot.)

Murphy: You guys seem pretty serious, you uh, tell her you love her yet? If not, I mean, today might be the day.

Monty: I’ve told her.

Murphy (smiles): It’s crazy how it changes you, isn’t it?

Monty then proceeds to pass out. Murphy begs him to stay conscious, but after a few moments, it’s clear that he’s on his own, and that Monty is in serious danger. Murphy has to make a choice, and he makes the right one - he lifts the incredibly heavy, lifesaving machine all on his own, and staggers back to the lab, leaving Monty behind. Fortunately, they’re able to save Monty later, and he says one of my favorite Monty lines: 

“You chose the machine!? I may not hate you anymore.”

Monty and Murphy bonded here, over their love for the incredible women in their lives, and over the unfortunate and harsh reality that some things are worth dying for, worth being in pain for, worth sacrificing other people for. This scene shows so much - Murphy’s pragmatism, but also his romantic nature, his reliance on humor as a defense mechanism, and his willingness to do difficult things to survive. It’s peak John Murphy, way back in s4. 

My love for him, which had been growing strong since s2, was fully sealed with this scene.

He has many more memorable moments, but this is long enough. Thanks so much for the question! It really helps me write meta when people ask specific things. And I’ve never had the chance to really talk about Murphy!

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

House of the Dragon 2x03: Quotes - Part. II

"- These eggs are even more fragile. But should all come to ruin here.... you will bear our hope for the future."

"- I feel sad about Jaehaerys. Mm, but I ought not to, I think. People die all the time, especially babes. They're so little, so they're taken so easily. (Helaena) - Sadness is a condition of motherhood. There's naught to be gained from it. (Alicent) - That horrid procession where the smallfolk all stared at me. I warrant they thought I had no more right to grief than they do. Surely they lose their babes more than highborn ladies. (Helaena) - The Stranger comes for us all... queen and commoner. You have as much claim to grief as anyone. (Alicent) - And you? (Helaena) - I loved Jaehaerys, but my concern has been more for you and what you have endured. Helaena, I... (Alicent) - I forgive you. (Helaena) - What? (Alicent) - I said that I forgive you." (Helaena)

"- Valyrian steel. Worth more than a castle. - A sight to stir the passions. - I was given the Conqueror's name and his crown, so I shall wear his armor to war. (Aegon II) - Tales take on a life of their own... like weeds. Unless they are tended." (Larys)

"- I've had quite a day of it. - Yeah? - Not sure I'm much for talkin'. Although, you know, a wet whistle works wonders. I'm the son of Baelon the Brave. Bastard brother to Prince Daemon and the late King Viserys. Uncle to the one true queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen. The blood of the dragon runs though these veins. And, yes... men would take my head for it. A Dragonseed must watch his own neck. When he has no white-cloaked guardsmen to do it for him."

"- Did I, did I tell you I can here as a lad? It's, mm, a little tame, but a good a place as any to get it wet. You see, I do not exaggerate. Such is the madam's prowess, that even now my brother will not sample another. Hard luck for your squire, though. As you can see, she's now very much occupied. (Aegon II) - Your squire is welcome to her. One whore is as good as another." (Aemond)

"- Always coming and going, aren't you? And I have to clean up afterwards. And I have to clean up afterwards." (Young Rhaenyra)

"- You will die in this place." (Alice Rivers)

"- I would speak with her, myself. (Rhaenyra) - Killing her would be easier. (Mysaria) - If war can be averted, it is my duty to avert it. I have reason to believe she may be of the same opinion. She sent a raven. She has expressed her remorse. (Rhaenyra) - I can have a message brought to her. In secret. (Mysaria) - She would not agree to it. She would suspect some subterfuge, as would I, if I received such a message. I must see her face to face. But if I'm recognized... (Rhaenya) - You may be surprised to learn it, but most folk pay no mind to a woman who has not dressed as a queen, or allured herself for the eyes of men." (Mysaria)

"- Rhaenys has counseled me. She said she saw in you a wish to avert the worst of what may now come. (Rhaenyra) - So, you've come to surrender then? (Alicent) - I have come to see if we may uncover some parth towards peace. My dragons are restless. They smell battle. But if you and I may come to terms... (Rhaenyra) - There are no terms now. You have no army, your allies turn from you when they hear of your depravity, you hands are bloodied in a crime I could never have imagine you... (Alicent) - The trespass was not mine. Ah, think what you will. I am a mother too and you have yet to and answer for the murder of my son. (Rhaenyra) - I repudiate that act with all my heart. (Alicent) - Of course, you do. And the usupring of my rightful inheritance? Have you now stooped so low that you will countenance the suffering and death of thousands, in order that your fleckless son... (Rhaenyra) - Your father changed his mind. (Alicent) - Oh, so you say. And so your father has proclaimed to the realm. I saw the king that night. Mere hours before I left him, he had affirmed my right to the throne, a right he upheld steadfastly, every day of his life after my mother died. And yet, you will maintain that his mind was changed in an instant? (Rhaenyra) - I will. (Alicent) - You lie. (Rhaenyra) - No, Rhaenyra. (Alicent) - My father moved me, Alicent. And I believe he loved you, too. Did you betray him at the very last? When was your plan first laid? Was your ambition so keen.... (Rhaenyra) - He changed his mind, Rhaenyra. He changed his mind. I swear this to you on the memory of my mother. I have been, at times, unkind, but never untrue. I pronounced before all gathered in that room that you would make a fine queen. Do you think me capable of such naked deceit? (Alicent) - What did he say, at the end? Did he speak my name? (Rhaenyra) - He was weary. It was hard, at times, to understand. But he spoke Aegon's name. He said he was the prince that was promised to unite the realm. (Alicent) - What? (Rhaenyra) - I desire peace as you do. (Alicent) - Did my father use those words? The prince that was promised? Did he? (Rhaenyra) - Yes, he did. (Alicent) - He... spoke to you of the Song of Ice and Fire? It's a story he once he told... about Aegon the Conqueror. (Rhaenyra) - The C. The conqueror? You must go before you are disovered. (Alicent) - There's been a a mistake. (Rhaenyra) - There's been no mistake. (Alicent) - You can prevet this Alicent. A terrible war is looming, and even victory may be so bloody as to be counted a loss. Do not let your pride blind.... (Rhaenyra) - There's been not mistake. My father is gone from court, Cole is on the march, Aemond you know what Aemond is. It's too late, Rhaenyra. (Alicent) - Alicent. (Rhaenyra)