#that's part of the complexity of being human idk what to tell you

[unionizedwizard]

man idk that "detransitioners" are even a thing. as in "oh god i made a terrible mistake and mutilated my perfect female body forever" like yeah some people who fit this description probably exist (but are definitely used by transphobes & also are transphobic themselves) but 1) there is immense pressure (social, economical, familial, medical, and otherwise) about not transitioning, and i hardly think that the fictional group of Malignant Militant Transgendereds Bwainwashing Ouw Poow Weetle Giwls Online would have any power compared to the overwhelmingly anti-transition pressure coming from Literally Everywhere 2) most "detransitioners" that i've personally met or heard of (ex-transmasc people, haven't met any transfem detransitioners - FOR SOME REASON HMMMM!) are like. you know. nonbinary lesbians. a demographic most notably known for their complicated relationship to womanhood & gender in general & blurring the frontier between butch lesbians & trans men. you know who personally brainwashed me and persuaded me that i was a "confused" butch lesbian and not a trans man and that it would be morally corrupt of me to transition tho? a close friend who turned out to be a full-blown TERF only a few months after i'd stopped seeing her & who kept parrotting terf rhetoric at the time (not that i noticed back then). that would have made me a (social) detransitioner at the time and it took several years to repair the damage she did. you can't say that trans people are the ones who brainwash and manipulate innocent cis people into transitioning when the exact opposite is often happening for real

[parfaitblogs]

state of grace ❀ s. reid x reader

in which your cat has taken liking to your friend with benefits, and you begin to battle with the consequential feelings. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff (18+ for suggestive content) tags: established friends with benefits. reader has a cat. your cat likes him more than you :(  avoidant!reader for like a teensie second. it's okay happy ending. the happiest possible ending actually. fade to black. word count: 1.9k a/n: sometimes the most beautiful poetry can be about simple things. like a cat. :) im a dog person. idk why i wrote this.

Seventeen times.

That is how many times Spencer Reid had found residence at your apartment in the past month alone, taking up the space on the other side of your bed. Thirteen of those times he had stayed the night. Six of those times, he had come for sex. The other eleven? He had come because you needed a friend. 

Or, rather, your cat did. 

You had discovered you weren't any more complex than your average man, at the end of the day. Human beings are at their core created to love and be loved, and by extension, to want and be wanted. You wanted Spencer, and you were wanted by Spencer. For both your friendship, and the intimacy your relationship provided. 

But you did not love him, and he did not love you. 

Cat's are anything but fickle creatures. A lot of your best friendships were centred around whether or not your cat developed a liking to the person or not. Oftentimes, your fleeting relationships came down to the odd sixth sense the animal had for disliking the worst people. That, and your one night stands were never a crowd favourite within the walls of your apartment. And yet; Spencer Reid. 

He was nothing short of charming. In a sort of dorky way, yes. But whatever socially romantic skills he lacked, he most certainly made up for by giving you the best of just about everything in bed. A small part of you wants to claim it's human instinct to know how to worship the person meant for you, but the logical reason is probably his eidetic memory knowing exactly what he's doing after a singular trial run. Entertaining the thought of being his soulmate was not a wise choice.

He most certainly was your cat's, though. The Ragdoll always jumping down to greet him the second he stepped foot in your apartment, usually resulting in the break of a kiss and a five minute intermission before the two of you could do anything. 

At first, it was an inconvenience. Your cat had never taken such a liking to a person you'd brought home before, and it was jarring to watch a man you were partially trying to undress, stop everything to pet your cat. Now, it is simply endearing. You've stopped trying to steal Spencer's attention before the cat does, and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer's priority list will always be the feline, then you. 

Today was, seemingly, no different. Despite the dull ache between your legs and the fact that this visit had started as something as obscene as Spencer calling from his work bathroom to ask if he could come over after for he was, and you quote, in dire need to touch you (among many other things), whatever those needs were, were put on hold. 

You smile regardless, leaning against the edge of your couch as he crouches down to meet Po — yes, like the panda — his hand immediately reaching out for the cat to run his head along. 

Spencer's head lifts to look at you. "Morgan thinks Po isn't a real cat, and we've just got a name for your—um—" his brain catches up to his mouth mid sentence, and he's stammering his way to silence. 

"Please tell me you defended my cat's honour," you retort.

"I did! I even showed him the photo I took of him while you were in the shower last week. He thinks it's a different person's cat."

You shake your head in disapproval. "Unbelievable. Your coworker thinks we've named my pussy."

"That's just Morgan."

"I wish Po could speak English. Then he could hear this nonsense, and stop loving you more than me," you grumble, and Spencer's lips twitch up into a smile, as he situates himself on the floor, the cat climbing into his lap.

"Actually, he technically can. Cat's can understand up to thirty-five words in whatever language you train them in. Also, when they meow, they begin trying to mimic the sound of certain human words. It's their vocal tract that prevents them from literally speaking English," he explains.

But, you're too invested in the way his long fingers are delicately running through the cat's hair, to both respond, and really pay any attention at all.

You had had fleeting thoughts about real feelings for Spencer two months ago. Brushing them off as loneliness and your need to satiate the hopeless romantic within you, you'd forgotten about it up until this recent week.

He'd been over every single day, sometimes for sex, oftentimes for a movie and dinner (which was usually a bowl of pasta you had overestimated while cooking). And every single time, you'd developed an overwhelming anxious pit in your stomach when watching him interact with Po, your heart fluttering the entire time, mind running rampant on domestic thoughts you should be squashing. 

Should be, but weren't. 

You'd tried to put it down to the motherly instinct you had over the animal. Seeing somebody else treat him with as much love and care as you did was endearing — it wasn't a Spencer Reid specific trait. Yet, here you were. 

"I feel like the benefits of this relationship have changed," you say, seating yourself in front of Spencer on the floor, Po lifting his head to look at the person behind the sudden movement, before he let it rest back on Spencer's thigh. 

"To what?"

"My cat," you huff, and Spencer laughs.

"He is my favourite benefit thus far," he muses. 

"The feeling is definitely mutual," you nod your head to Po, whose eyes were now shut, seemingly quite comfortable disregarding all your personal plans and taking Spencer's attention.

"Animals don't usually like me," he comments. "I don't know why Po is different."

Oh, you had a few ideas why.

"Maybe he's exercising the keep your enemies closer life motto," you offer, and Spencer's eyebrows shoot up in faux offence. 

"This is unadulterated love," he protests. "He does not think of me as an enemy."

"That's what he wants you to believe," you hum, pushing yourself up on your legs. "Well, since plans have been rudely interrupted, do you want some dinner?" 

"Sure," he answers, though his attention is back on Po. Clearly so, for he says, "I'll get to our original plans after we eat, don't worry," almost absentmindedly.

It's the kind of thing that makes you forget you're in the room with the dictionary definition of a nerd. You know it's only because sometimes he says what he is thinking without thinking. It doesn't do anything to help the ongoing internal battle about your feelings for him. 

Or maybe he does know exactly what he's doing.

"You should get a cat," you say, heading into your kitchen to find something for the two of you to eat. "You seem to like them enough."

"Why? I have yours."

"I'm not going to be around forever," you reply, unthinking. "I mean, one day we're gonna have to end this because the other has found someone they want to be with. Properly. It wouldn't be fair to keep a friendship."

He falls silent, and when you lift your head, you see he's staring at you with an almost confused frown on his face, which triggers your own confusion to appear. His scratching of Po's head has been interrupted, and you're starting to question what was wrong about what you had said. 

Sure, you're pretty sure you have feelings for him, but as far as you knew, they were one sided. Right?

"I didn't—I thought—" he cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, then continues. "I thought that had changed this past month."

"What do you mean?"

"I just—I've been here for things other than sex a lot. I thought you knew I liked you, and you were subtly trying to tell me you liked me too. I'm starting to sense I misread that."

For a profiler, he was incredibly awful at reading you. 

"Yeah..." You slowly nod your head, but it's the deepening of his frown that has you rushing to add, "I mean, I—I do. Like you. I'm kind of embarrassed that was obvious. But I didn't think you liked me outside of having sex with me. I wasn't trying to communicate my feelings. I was trying to hide them."

"Oh," he falls silent again. "So the times I’ve been here in the past month weren’t makeshift dates?"

"They weren't intended that way..." you trail off. "Did you see them as dates?"

"Kind of, I guess," he's back to running his fingers through Po's fur, just to keep his anxious hands busy. "They don't have to be, if you don't want them to. I just thought this feeling was mutual and we were... I guess, dating."

"The feeling is mutual," you quickly correct him. "I know that now. I didn't think we were dating because I didn't think you liked me back. Changing our relationship kind of needs to be a conversation."

"Right," he breathes out, an awkward smile painting his lips. "Is this the conversation, then?"

"I guess?"

"So now we're dating."

"If that's what you want," you nod, head feeling a little fuzzy.

"Is it what you want?" he presses. Always the gentleman.

"Maybe," you muse, leaning forwards against the kitchen countertop. 

He's watching you, and for a second you let the silence fall over you, fearful that you've just discouraged him enough to ruin things between you. He carefully takes Po off his lap, the cat running into your room the second his paws hit the hardwood floor, and he's standing up to move over to you. 

"I don't like maybe," he frowns. "Yes or no?"

You blink, realising he was evidently too anxious of your genuine response to have any recognition to your poor attempt of a joke. 

"Yes, Spencer. That's what I want," you're breathless as you speak, and you're thankful for the relieved smile that stretches across his lips.

"That's what I want too," he answers. 

"Yeah, I figured." Your second attempt at a tease lands, and he huffs a small laugh, which warms your heart. "Do you still want dinner?"

He had somehow gotten closer to you throughout the awkward enough conversation, and he was sliding his arms around your waist. Something he had done many times before, yes, and yet this time it was feeling much more intimate, and your heart was thrumming against your chest a little harder than usual. 

"Maybe it can wait?" he offers, ducking his head down, lips ghosting over your own. "I don't have a bothersome cat keeping me preoccupied from you, now."

Despite yourself, you poke a finger into his chest and say, "Don't insult Po."

"I'm not. Just merely stating an obvious fact."

"I'll call him back in here to preoccupy me."

"He has selective hearing. And he likes me more than you."

Your lips drop into a frown, lower lip jutting out, and Spencer is quick to try and kiss it off within seconds of noticing it. 

"I'm sorry. That was mean. I promise he doesn't like me more than you," he says, though his voice is too amused to be entirely sincere. 

"That was mean," you agree with a firm nod. "You're very mean to me, Spencer Reid."

"I know, I'm awful. Can I make it up to you, sweet girl?"

Well, when he asks you like that.

"Mm..." you hesitate, but he's already guiding you around, walking you backwards, through your apartment and towards your bedroom. "Yeah, I guess so."

Hands that were around your waist hike your shirt up, his lips still kissing against your skin despite the intense multitasking he was forcing upon the two of you.

"Thank you."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[gremlinpenguin]

Some semi-coherent analysis threads bc my dumb ass needs bullet points to stay organized:

—SEASON FINALE SPOILERS BELOW!!!—

I’ve been dissecting some of allegorical elements of the story- I’m not sure if these are intended or even completely accurate to the story, just my interpretation of how every single narrative element potentially ties together, which is insanely impressive. Some of these are speculations or extrappolations; it’s hard to confirm some things until we know Buddy’s backstory, but this is based on his statement that he’s “never been the hero in any story, not even his own” (AAHHAHAHLSJHSKHSSKJ)

Sorry if some of these thoughts make no sense feel free to me for clarification lol, and I might be repeating things that have been said before but idk. And if i quote anything then I pulled it from the finale

BUT THE WHOLE STORY WORLD IS A METAPHOR FOR ROLES, CONVENTIONS, AND BREAKING EXPECTATIONS

The stories and their roles parallel the characters’ interiority

- chase is defiant of his role

- Buddy believes that his role defines him

- “What the stories want” > the characters wanting to break out of their roles

“Maybe this isn’t the ending that was supposed to happen” > DEVELOPMENT

- difference between who we are vs. who we think we are

- Think we’re “supposed to turn out” one way according to roles

- World where hero <3 villain = breaking conventions and expectations

- Ties in with the roles were given

“Our roles are gone, the world is gone, but we’re still here”

- we are our cores, not the roles we’re assigned

- The world cannot change who you truly are

- The world/roles getting destroyed = allowed them to be themselves

- Buddy became the hero

- Chase showed his vulnerability

Character complexity: buddy is and isn’t a “hero”

- there is no black and white answer

- He’s a complex person who made mistakes that he deeply regrets

- At the same time, he never caused any physical harm to chase- and when he did, he was instantly remorseful

If you think about buddy’s perspective, he fits the role of a hero

- in a bad situation

- Needs something to fix that situation

- Someone is in his way of achieving that goal for what he’s been trained to believe are selfish reasons

BUT THE METAPHORICAL PARTS!!!

Every storybook fantasy world was fake

- literally the entire setting wasn’t real

- The whole story is a giant metaphor

- Roles in stories = roles we think we fit into

- How roles inhibit you from who you really are

We can all be heroes or villains, regardless of what role we’re given

- chase defies his role as a kid who can’t go to college and needs to make money > still dreams big despite the hand he’s been dealt

“Stories just want an ending even if it’s not the one you’d expect”

- direct metaphor- ppl want to be themselves regardless of their roles

- You can’t control who someone is going to be

- All that matters is that they like themself, no matter what they expected

- They want to be enjoyed > people just want to live

The story ending = just living regardless of roles

- the stories are all fake but a direct parallel to the human personality

- We put up walls and fake facades to hide what we actually are/want

- The roles don’t matter as long as we just live

- Roles are put in place to try and create smoothness/structure

- we confine ourselves into fantasy book roles - ie deacon being the helper - without realizing that we have full power to get out of those

- We tell ourselves stories of what’s real/what we’re capable of

-the stories themselves are confining to the multi dimensional nature of human possibility

And Chase was literally invented to defy the stereotypical isekai tropes. Every character is strongly defiant of what someone might expect a stereotypical hero, villain, and sidekick to be- they’re so much richer, they all have motives and desires. And they each want to feel like “the hero” but it’s so far out of their grasps. The storybooks set an expectation of what a hero is - by literally fitting people into roles - I mean come on how much more symbolic can it get than literally ASSIGNING ROLES with the keys - but they all have a complex idea of how “being a hero” fits into their lives.

But as silver said, people love the hero because they tried- and Chase, buddy, and deacon are all trying so hard to find peace in their lives.

Back to the finale-

All the story wants is a true loves kiss > it just wants them to be themselves

- love is love lol

- Roles don’t matter, you matter

Roles > chase never fit into his role

- strong foil for buddy, who fully defined himself by his role

- Chase believed he could choose his role regardless of what life gave him

Chase is all about breaking conventions and doing the impossible

- Embodiment of unconventionality

- First to break out of role/callous hero expectation

Buddy is the embodiment of surrendering to his role

- letting it control him through fear and low self-esteem

- Surrendered to his role because he feels like a villain irl

Something always goes wrong in the stories- people are not meant to fit into roles

- chase defying the stories = rebelling against societal roles and expectations

- Buddy being a stickler for accuracy- he doesn’t know how to escape his role

“Our roles are gone, the world is gone, but we’re still here”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHSJDKFKSDJFHSKSKSJFJSJSHAHDJGKKSJAHSHDHD

- BIG HEALING MOMENT BC NOTHING IS THERE TO CONFINE BUDDY AKA HIS BELIEF SYSTEM THAT TELLS HIM HES THE VILLAIN HES LITERALLY SHEDDING HIS ROLE BC THE WORLD HAS BEEN DESTROYED SO THEIR ROLES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED TOO AAAAHHH THIS QUOTE NEEDS TO PAY RENT BC ITS SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME IN MY HEAD

- I mean come on. Yes I am a simp for metaphorical apocalypses but THIS. THEIR ROLES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. THE TWO OF THEM ARE LITERALYYYY ALL THATS LEFT

anygay

Dreams by night episode-

- the hero’s dreams come true- but not really

- In real life, your happily ever after doesn’t always happen

- The coffin: Buddy is mentally trapped in his villain role

- He doesn’t know how to get out

- The coffin is an emotional box that he’s stuck in

- Doesn’t believe he could be anything but the villain

- Buddy’s dream could be a flashback

- Blood on his clothes- possibly had to fight other “contestants”

- I think buddy was pit against other ppl but there was one who he really cared about and let down

- He’s definitely missing someone in his life who’s no longer here

- Fighting could have convinced him he was the villain

- Or failing to save the person he cared about

- Could have made him think he’s selfish = villain

- Or survivors guilt

- Mirror = reflection of himself

- Sees chase in his reflection = sees the part of him that he knows isn’t a villain

- Chase is making him believe that he could be good/worthy of kindness and love

- Chase symbolizes the part of himself that’s fighting to break out of his villain role

- Chase gives him hope

- Not even fully aware of his internal journey

- Chase is so clearly a fresh and new viewpoint in his life

- Surprised bc he hasn’t been cared for like that before

- “This is how it has to be” - he cannot break out of his villain role

- It’s been so deeply ingrained in him

- He doesn’t think there’s any way out

- Mirror is dark > conforming to the darkness of his role

Buddy was never the bad guy > he has a very strong motivation for getting the keys back, aka turning human again

- he never lied to chase

- He helped chase finish the stories

- He told him that he needed the keys back and Chase refused

- His pranks were only ways to accomplish his goal

- Trying to get chase’s location in beach boys > couldn’t comprehend why Chase would be genuine

- Used to humans being manipulative and unkind

- Why should he think Chase is any different?

Buddy has never done something outwardly bad and not apologized for it

- so fast to apologize when he cut chase’s face

- He’s aware of the line between good and bad

He never fights back when people attack him

- Just accepts all the bad things that happen to him

- Doesn’t try to stop people from hurting him

Both buddy and Chase have done “good” and “bad” things but Buddy has never had bad motivation

- all his motivation was in self-defense

- Chase also triggers him in many ways

- Reacting to his own past through his experience with Chase

Buddy doesn’t get <that> upset with Chase when he finds out about the key - “you think I’d kidnap a poor child?”

- he’s aware of others’ perceptions of him

- The fact that he doesn’t seem super betrayed or disappointed is even sadder

- “Why would anyone think that I’m good/trust me”

- Matches his original expectations and views of himself

- Probably felt like Chase was too good to be true

- He’s used to humans betraying him

- Chase lying = affirmation that his belief system is correct

Why buddy is kinda mean to chase at first- he thinks he’s the same as the ex libris guys

- Thinks chase is making selfish wishes

- Associates him with the people who (presumably) abused buddy to get their wish

- He sees chase as a threat

Chase is threat = have to fight back

- his pranks on Chase are meant to tire him out but also to look stronger

- Insulting Chase over his weaknesses = trying to be the tougher guy

- Literally boxed and suppressed

- Matches his need to be in control of situations

- Needs everything to go the right way > triggered by his helplessness irl

main reason why he’s mean to chase- thinks chase is privileged in the ways he’s not

- calls him a brat- oblivious, doesnt think he’s suffered

- thinks chase is just playing around, which buddy can’t afford to do

chase triggers one of his deepest insecurities- having what buddy doesn’t (or so he thinks)

- don’t know buddys backstory but it has a lot less kindness/goodness

- jealous of chase but also resentful of his attitude (initially)

why buddy messes with chase - he’s a pretty big attention seeker

- he gets annoyed when deacon is around

- wants his “rivalry” with chase all to himself

- attention seeking = byproduct of surroundings

- given a lack of positive attention

punko confirmed that buddy is lazy > lack of motivation

- people without love/support can lack motivation to accomplish things

- buddy is mistreated > no reason to strive for what he wants

- Could possibly feel undeserving

- Especially if he failed to save someone he cared about

- “laziness” is interloped with symptoms of depression

Chase uses the stories as escapism

- his real life is much harder

- Mom is sick, family judges him for not having a corporate job

Buddy insulting his voice on the heels of his visits to the aunt and uncle’s house- OUCH

- chase is so strong fr I’d prolly react more like franny

Buddy starts saving chase / being the hero after beach boys

- sick day- saves deacon and brings chase to safety

- Jailer- rescues chase from creepy guy

- Still waters- saves chase’s and everyone else’s lives

That’s all I have now! I love dissecting stories and picking them apart, but oh my freaking god the storytelling in this webtoon is next-next-tier. I’m just stunned at how incredibly detailed the characters are and how every scene is packed with subtext and emotion- funny moments, sad ones, heart wrenching ones, devastating but hopeful ones. I’ve been trying to find what makes Chase + buddy’s dynamic so strong between characterization, internal conflict, belief systems, behavior, backstory, etc. and I’m sure it all comes down to punko’s imagination and her unfettered love for the story. But if you’re a chronic overthinker and obsessive analyzer like me I’d looooove to hear your thoughts, theories, analyses, or anything at all!! Especially about the dreams by night episode IM GONNA CRACK THE CODE I KNOW I WILL

[panlight]

Never cared for her, But i kinda feel sorry for Renesmee because her life kinda a mess! Her parents are teenagers who spend most of their time obsessing over eachother, her father can hear everything she thinks, her boyfriend used to be in love with her mother, she lives with her "aunts and uncles" and "grandparents" who are barely older than her but still interfere in her life. She is a different from everybody else: Vampire or human. Do you think Renesmee will be happy with her life?

I do feel bad for Renesmee growing up with literally no privacy because her dad can read her mind (and her 'uncle' knows what she's feeling) and everyone else has heightened senses so there's really no sneaking around either. But -- it's all she's ever known so maybe it will seem 'normal' to her? IDK.

My best guess for how Renesmee's story will play out will be her feeling like she's "caught between two worlds" as a half-vampire, half-human hybrid, and she'll have a complex about being weaker and slower than her full vampire family even though every single one of them lavish attention and love and praise on her all the time. It's going to be "no one understands me!" Charlie and Jacob (still don't like the imprint) help her connect with her human side because even though Bella's not been a vampire that long, she never really valued humanity as a concept. Charlie and Jacob take her to do normal human things like, get ice cream, go to the movies, play mini-golf.

As she reaches maturity her feelings for "my Jacob" start to shift, and it freaks her out, and it makes her wonder if she has any choices in life at all, and one way or another she meets Nahuel again and they bond. It's love triangle 2.0. But she comes back to the same question: if he's literally the only male of her species, is she really making a "choice" in picking him? Eventually she realizes it's Jacob, it's always been Jacob, and stops trying to separate the two parts of herself or see herself as separate from her loving if too-close-for-comfort vampire family and blah de blah blah blah.

They eventually get married and have twins. Twins run in Jacob's family and I'm guessing SM did that for a reason. The twins in Jacob's family are girl twins, perhaps identical, but I feel like Renesmee will have boy-girl twins and they will have Cool Powers and will be important in taking down the Volturi in Renesmee Saga Book 2 or 3.

I can just tell you right now that this kind of character is not for me; I would find her sighing and complaining about no one understanding her and feeling left out really annoying when she's surrounded by love and support and every material luxury. But I'm not the target demo anymore and this might appeal to teenagers who are experiencing similar feelings minus the supernatural context.

[fduck0]

Im also gonna put my little ramble here bc its silly (also go follow Catherine)

(Quick thing, i have kind of big problem with putting my thoughts into words so keep that inmind pls)

I wanna talk ab how sacrifice is a really important part of Wendy's character. Abigail is summoned in DS through blood sacrifice, which is now translated into DST with the shadow Abby buff by having Wendy murder mobs to boost her damage. Telling Wigfrid she can "take her heart" when she examines her ghost, implying that Wendy is willing to die to bring her back. Harming herself while trying to revive Abby with the new skilltree altar and by making telltale hearts for spectral cure-alls. Along with sacrificing her whole life by going into the constant just to be with her sister.

(We can also talk ab how Abby does the same, constantly getting herself killed just to keep Wendy safe, which creates a cycle BUT NOT THE TOPIC RN)

This all gives us a pretty good picture of Wendys view the world and on herself. Sacrifice is not only one of the only ways her bond with Abigail stays alive but is also a way to show Wendy's poor self image. She is willing to harm herself both mentally and phisically for the sake of the people close to her. We already know that in her own eyes, Wendy thinks she's worthless , so its not a really big surprise that she'd throw away her life to bring back someone that's "useful" and that actually wants to live.

AND THIS IS WHERE WEBBER COMES IN. The moon stone quote "Perhaps it thirsts for a sacrifice. Where's Webber..." MAY seem like a slap in the face to what i just said ab keeping ppl safe BUT ITS NOT.

From other quotes, its clear that Wendy values her life as much or less then the creatures around her MOST of the time. As much as she kills butterflies, she also wants monsters like bearger to kill her. To Wendy, death is the only present she wants.Cue to conclusion number 1. Webbers sacrifice can be seen as Wendy trying to give Webber the only thing she wants in life, which is dying.

BUT THERES MORE. Human sacrifice is a bit of a mixed bag, since it can either be "i will sacrifice someone dear to me" or "fuck this criminal im gonna send them to hell" depending on the culture. CONSIDERING THE "you could never be a monster, Webber" quote, the general dynamic and context, its clearly the first one thankfully. This leaves us with conclusion number 2. Wendy views Webber as someone dear to her and worth sacrificing.

But now we get into the deep shit bc this is Wendy. And like this is the most headcanon-y one so if this makes no sense idk beat me with sticks ANYWAYS.

We have to remember her fear of attachment. I've already talked in another post about Wendy's nihilism being a defense mechanism and all of that so im not gonna repeat it, (i havent uploaded that thread on tumblr and its 4 am rambles) but i feel like this can also be part of it. Webber represents exactly what shes avoiding, which includes moving on and vulnerability. While Wendy is constantly driving herself crazy over Abigail's death in fear of forgetting her, Webber tries to make the best out of his situation and enjoy his life, even when lets be honest, it also sucks ass. Its the opposites attract trope. BUT I FEEL LIKE IN THIS SITUATION THERES ALSO THE COMPLEXITY OF THAT AVOIDANCE.

In DS this mf considers bandages pointless because "she'll only get hurt again" and says in dst that its "too painful" to get a pet kitcoon because of that fear of losing it. From this we could easily point to the fact Wendy is probably not only scared of losing Webber, but also the fact being around him DOES make her happy. So the solution for that?

3. Sacrifice him. He's too good for the constant, so the least Wendy could do is try to free him from the pain of living, losing him both to try to do him a favour in her eyes, along with keeping herself safe by sticking to her miserable life instead of trying to work on getting better. BUT OOPS CLEARLY YOU CANT DO THAT SOOOO. That and the way dst has progressed their friendship over the years its kind of too late for that by now so L Wendy. BUT YEAH final conclusion, I think Wendy seeing Webber as someone worth sacrificing is sweet in her own insane way.Like that mf would probably die for Webber, kill for him and sacrifice him on an altar.

Gold star to whoever read all of this insanity ig

[thrashkink-coven]

(should this post be NSFW?? Idk. Tread with caution I guess)

Got to talking to Lucifer about god spousal and astral sex, his thoughts on it, its function. Early this morning, maybe 5-6am I went into a trance. We were sitting on sand, in what kind of looked like a temple, but also some kind of pool. There were swans in the pool. It was dark. Lucifer was braiding my hair, he's never done that before.

And Lucifer, straight to the point as always, asked me directly if I wanted to marry him.

Lol, I don't think so. At least not right now. I think I need to marry my boyfriend before I can even think about marrying my Patron. I get everything I need out of the relationship we have right now. and for some reason my brain finds it kind of strange for us. I don't know if I would ever want to.

Then I asked him what the benefits are to him as the God anyways.

"It's different for everyone, there are bounds that you and I have crossed that others reserve for marriage. If you and I were to be wed it'd be because you wanted it."

I told him that I assumed that all of this, (in reference to our affectionate relationship in general) was mostly because I wanted it."

And he kind of disagreed, which surprised me.

"It's not all you. Remember when Hermes rejected you?"

Yes, desire is needed on both ends I suppose. To which I promptly asked, so why do you...? why with me?

"Do you think a God can experience pleasure?"

I guess I don't really know. Do gods have types, preferences in humans, either aesthetic or even sexual? Beyond intellectually or spiritually, I guess I wouldn't really think so. You don't have a body or the organs that produce sex hormones, you don't have a nervous system. So I don't know what intimacy does to you.

He laughed at me. "Do you not experience these things when you are outside of your body?"

Ironic because this conversation took place in an astral trance. My body is laying in bed, yet I can feel the sand and smell the water. I can feel Lucifer braiding my hair.

Yes but, only through the scope of my understanding, my senses. Right? I cannot gain senses beyond what I am equipped with while in the trance. I feel you, see you, only because I have had a body to feel and see with. You communicate with me through my senses.

"Bravo, my boy. Consider though, that you were born without understanding. These senses you have that I manipulate, you forget, are only energy. Complex energy simulated from your understanding, the feedback from your body, yes, but still, in the end, just a complex wave. A good vibration. It is the only thing your psyche truly understands. The universal language, the vehicle of information. Now comes the debate of the ages, do Gods have psyches? Are archetypes created or discovered? If you want to know the benefit for me, I'd ask you why you want to be loved. Your lover is offering you a complex sequence of energy when he loves you, and you offer it back. I suppose in the end it is all just exchanges, but I like to believe the first part in loving is sharing. He likes what you give to him, I like what you give to me, that's the basic fundamental."

I guess that makes sense.

He tugged my hair. "Now ask me what you really want to know."

???? I did.

And then he starts smiling. "Humans like to be desired, lusted after."

I don't know how to even put into words how it feels to know that a deity is reading your mind. I doesn't matter so I didn't think I should ask.

"You wanna know what my type is? You want to know if I find you attractive? I'll tell you this. You know that I am not a human, I am not sexually attracted to you in the way your reproductive system simulates. But your body, as you know and have learned, is, truly, one of the most hated bodies on Earth. It is a body that fundamentally goes against every doctrine, a body that has historically been systematically controlled and oppressed. One that carries generations of scars and curses, and you've experienced it. Being outcasted, black sheeped and discriminated against for this body. For the space it occupies, for the energy it exudes. And you have somehow still survived, by pure will of pride and determination. And you have made and will continue to make this body into your finest work of art. That turns me on. When you love it, you honor me. When I have the opportunity to indulge it, I revel in it. Every smile on your cheeks is rebellion, every orgasm, every day you grow older, satisfies me. I get off on your freedom."

wow...ok. cool answer ....

[musicalmoritz]

Glazing TBHK again idk

There are absolutely valid critiques to be made about the writing of TBHK but I keep seeing teenagers on TikTok make the most mind-numbing takes about how the manga is problematic because it has toxic relationships. Sure there are some questionable scenes that I hate but of all the things to bitch about, you choose the relationships??? And not even a take about the way they’re written, you think a manga having toxic relationships in any capacity makes it bad???

I specified teenagers because I wanted to cut them a little bit of slack but I’ve seen grown ass adults make similar takes. Do ya’ll not watch adult shows with adult themes??? Where the relationships are much worse than what you find in a ghost romance manga aimed at tweens???

I wouldn’t even say the toxicity is glorified, they just don’t tell you how you’re supposed to feel about it 24/7. Like when Hanako says he wants Nene to live the life he gave her, or when Kou wants Mitsuba to be completely reliant on him, you’re supposed to understand that these are severely traumatized characters who’s baggage is going to weigh down their relationships. They don’t give a disclaimer every chapter that you’re not supposed to agree with them because they expect their audience to be sensible enough to come to their own conclusions on how they should feel about those scenes.

I hate to break it to ya’ll but mentally ill people have relationships irl, whether they’re ready for them or not. These relationships may go poorly or they may turn out to be very beneficial depending on how they’re handled. All types of people, whether they deal with trauma/mental illness or not, have flaws that sometimes follow them throughout life. Not all of these flaws will go away, because no human being is 100% perfect. Sometimes we hurt the people we care about even if we’re generally good people. Fiction that falls under the category of magical realism (aka TBHK) is meant to reflect reality, so we’re often going to see characters deal with flaws that they may or may not overcome.

Not to mention, half of these characters are dead, they’re not going to be capable of having normal healthy relationships. They behave realistically for their circumstances, it doesn’t have to have a moral tied up with a pretty pink bow. Most of the ships are doomed to fail anyways so them being toxic is a relevant part of the natural decline of their development. The toxicity doesn’t automatically make the series bad, in fact I’d argue that element is well-written and necessary for the progression of the story. If HanaNene weren’t a little bit toxic, we wouldn’t have gotten the Picture Perfect arc or the Severance arc

It’s perfectly fine to dislike toxic ships in fiction, but don’t ridicule authors for wanting to depict more complex themes in their work. AidaIro have certainly included some weird fan service scenes/official art in their series, but those criticisms should remain separate from creative choices you personally dislike.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Hey there—this is completely spontaneous on my part, but I just saw your post from a few hours ago about how good the SW fandom used to be, and, dunno, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. Your SW analyses were always so interesting to me, especially when you got into a debate with someone, because of how you backed your arguments up with evidence. I wish I could write rhetoric like you do. Anyways, you're especially cool to me because you're French and I've got French citizenship from my mom (though I grew up in the States), and despite not being Jewish, you've been really, really kind to us. So thanks for everything—the lengthy, passionate, convincing SW posts that got me through the pandemic, the interesting religious takes (I vaguely remember you going off on someone who said that religion was irrelevant in the modern world, arguing about the impossible-to-understate role it has had in the history of humanity, including in the present day—which, to a history and IR fan who'd gotten used to the sight of anti-religious takes because it was rebellious and trendy and cute, was like a breath of fresh air), and even now, your words since October 7th. I don't know if I ever reblogged or even liked a post of yours, I'm more likely to take a screenshot and put it in a folder on my desktop, but I just wanted to let you know of the impact that you've had in my life. 💛

Awww, it's so cool to find out about people who liked my stuff even if they never said! Idk how to explain why it makes me so happy but it's like it adds more to the whole experience as I look back, it's one more piece of the full picture that I'll never have. Like finding a new detail in a familiar setting and going 'oh! that was there all along? :D'

What was it about my SW stuff that you liked? the constant ranting and raving about the Jedi or the fawning over Obi-Wan? xD (And yes, yes I *did* get into a row with antitheists because I vented about being frustrated with Richard Dawkins' worldview lol. I don't think it really went anywhere.)

I'm glad reading my posts was ever comforting to you. I constantly want to be saying more since October 7th, but I really think using the internet as a battleground would be spectacularly unwise in my case. I've always tried to only argue my opinions from a position of complete confidence and thorough knowledge of all the facts, and that's a lot easier to do with a nerdy fictional universe that's contained to easily accessible media vs complex current global events. I can be stubborn and arrogant and I always want to be right, so in order to not get sucked into propagating self-righteous misinformation and turning into exactly the type of ignorant know-it-all who'd preach to others about geopolitics they learned yesterday on twitter, I preferred to step back.

That said, there is one thing I can and always will say with utter confidence and full knowledge that it's right: the worldwide spike in antisemitism and the horrifying abuse all Jews have been subjected to for over a year both irl and online is appalling and must be called out. The Jewish people are very close to my heart because of my family history, my upbringing and my personal faith in God and my saviour. So from one ~vaguely Jewish~ Frenchie to a vaguely French Jewish person, שׁלום and salut! 💙

Also, telling me you've taken screenshots???? of my posts???? to SAVE THEM???? ON YOUR COMPUTER????? is genuinely one of the highest compliments you could ever give me wow thank youuuuu. I hope you can still have fun going back to them from time to time 😄

[sol-consort]

Regarding the human kink thing when it comes to turians, some people actually do be nesting, omega-verse style. Imagine being a human assigned to a turian ship, and you just over here in your bunk, innocently arranging the pillows and stuffies, while these guys are just standing there, slack-jawed and harmonizing their subvocals lol

[updated post]

A/B/O is not for me, but I dig the concept of aliens being intrigued by plushies. They are weird when you think about it.

The weird part isn't the plushies–it makes sense for warm-blooded mammals who value skinship to enjoy cuddling soft things, hugs are fundamental for your health—No, The weird part is how the most popular plushies aren't human shaped.

You could argue dolls, but dolls aren't used as plushies. They're more hard and sturdy, something that can withstand being played with. they have joints and brushable hair. Dolls are puppets to tell a story with, a psychological form of play through creativity.

I want you for a moment to imagine an advanced civilisation of bears with me.

With metropolises and bustling economy, they haven't mastered space travel yet but they've been eyeing the planet closest to them, bringing back rocks from the moon, etc.

In one apartment complex, there lives a bear family. The furniture is more accommodating to their larger build, clothes are more of an accessory to them considering their luxurious fur coats keeping them warm.

It's nighttime, tomorrow's a Sunday and mom bear has to leave to work early, she's currently washing the dishes leftover from the wonderful dinner the family just had. Her wife, however, is putting their son to bed. it's his second week in elementary bear school! he's unhappy with his seating arrangement in class however, the teacher placed him too far from his best friend.

His mother promises to have a chat with the teacher about it when she drops him off tomorrow, the son bear is very delighted and roars happily. A big yawn escapes him as his eyelids get heavy.

In his arms, there lies a cotton friend. His most beloved treasure, the most precious inanimate object to his heart. His plushie!

He adores it. It makes him so happy. It helped make him feel safe when he first started sleeping alone after his moms got him his own bed.

Now, I need you to tell me what does the plushie look like?

For me, these are the options that instinctively came to my mind when attempting to imagine what sentient bear cubs living in a 21st century would gravitate towards in a plushie.

A) a teddybear, more fluffy, abstract, and cartoonish looking

B) a plushie in the shape of a honeyjar

C) a plushie in the shape of a fish–more specifically, salmon or trout

D) fuck idk man leave me alone

When compressed down to their core, in the most simplfied form, the choices are:

A) Identity

B) Food

C) Food

D) How did you get into my house?

-

With that long analogy out of the way, when you compare that limited selection to the actual things humans have already turned into plushies, it just doesn't make sense.

Food, yes we have plushies of food but also of animals we do not eat. rabbits, cats, dogs, dolphins, bugs. We have plushies of predetors even, things that once hunted us down, beings that still could very well kill us if we meet face to face, tigers, sharks, bears themselves even.

Animal cartoons are much more popular amongst kids. Fables about talking animals have been a stable genre ever since humans invented writing. Animal plushies are popular amongst adults too.

Plushies of inanimate objects, of plants, of fictional characters and fantasy creatures.

I'm willing to bet that humans already made plushies of verans since the first year they came into space, that they sold out on earth immediately. Hell, I'm sure there are plushies of reapers, of protheons and even of turians and other species.

Not even abstract ideas were spared from being into marketable plushies! isn't there a series designed to raise awareness for mental illness?

The whole meme of "turns your fav into a marketable plushie" spread so much because it is true. If there is one thing humans love, is making plushies of anything not human.

And that's the weird part to aliens, the big boy of human anomalies. "Why do they want to cuddle literally everything in this universe? and how come plushies of other humans is the last thing on that list"

You try to explain it to a salarian once but they just look at you in confusion. What do you mean you sleeping with plushes resembling your species is "weird"?? Don't you humans like hugging each other so much? Yet cuddling the soft imitation of a reaper each night isn't weird to you????

That's not even mentioning how the bear society analogy is flawed because we are biased by nature. We projected the bear society onto our human agriculture and based it upon our own popculture.

When in reality they would hold very different values, a different emotional range. They'd be as diverse as the other alien species in mass effect, sharing more resemblance to them than to humans.

We see someone sad, and we have this need to touch them, pat their shoulder, rub their back, hold their hands, and give a hug. Bears let their children walk on their own while we carry our young more, much like aquatic birds in more ways than we'd think.

A/B/O nesting isn't my cup of tea, but with turians, it's easier to digest. Yeah, they are birds. It would be literal nesting. That's kinda cute.

We like caves, it's also cute. Would turians prefer the top bunkbed? Anyway.

Birds usually throw clutter away from their nests, anything that's not a straw or building material is disposed off to make space for their eggs.

While we like the opposite, clutter fucking rocks! at least for humans.

We have a mattress, then a mattress cover, then a sheet.

Then we have pillows, stuffing, then pillow covers, decorative pillows.

After it, multiple blankets! a soft one, a heavy one, an airy one. Sometimes, blankets come with blanket covers.

Finally, the plushies arrive. Multiple of course, some for decorations, others well worn with cuddles. Sometimes a gaint big one to fully wrap all of our limbs around.

Sometimes our beds have crumbs from food we eat in it, othertimes it has a stray sock we took off while in bed and forgot.

Most of the time it has our phone in it, a pet joins us there, book we're reading, laundry we were supposed to fold but forgot, a bag, or several outfits as we get ready to go out.

That's a cave, much like bears leave the skeletal remains of their prey, we have crumbs from the cookie we suddenly craved at 3am.

Nests are neat and clutter-free, at least the bird ones, always getting cleaned from waste. Eggshells are thrown out as they hatch, baby birds waste are immediately disposed of.

Lizard nests aren't that different.

Because the equivalent to a nest foundation isn't the blankets, plushies, or pillows. it's the house foundation itself!

The concrete walls and the sturdy floorboards. The whole bedroom is already a well-built nest. The bed is just an extra cushion. The fluffy material and loose feathers birds leave at the very top, so the twigs don't scratch the fragile eggs.

So, in conclusion. Turians and Salarians would get VERY overwhelmed in a human bedroom, let alone a human bed with plushies, stuffies, and blankets.

They're like, "Are you expecting a baby???" When they notice what their brain consider is extra protective fluffing for eggs.

Turians even more because of their lack of skin nerves, hard plating, and all. Their outershell makes it hard to appreciate soft things, let alone hugging them, when they can barely feel it.

Salarains? They're softer, more squishy, and they might enjoy the way it feels against their skin. Most reptiles do, and they're the closest thing for reference.

They're warm-blooded, but they do originate from a fully tropical planet + they're amphibians and might have used to be semi-aquatic? Meaning that while they still produce their own bodyheat, it wouldn't be that much to begin with. Space is definitely much colder to them than to a human.

That's why hugging a human is so nice to them! They can leech off of your body heat as their very own sun–or at least a substitute for a heatlamp.

But plushies and blankets are a different story. With blankets, they might make them cold or freeze since they blocked whatever light or heatlamp the salarians must need for sleep when they're not wearing their temperature adjustment suits.

And if you sleep next to them under the blanket, your trapped body heat will cause the temperature to rise above what's comfortable for them and risk overheating them. Same with the fluffy sheets, pillows or plushies.

there's the risk of overheating them with your body as the blanket traps in the heat. it will happen slowly, but that just makes it more dangerous. A slow simmer of rising body temperature as they realise what a death trap a human bed actually is.

Plus, salarians only need one hour of sleep per cycle, it seems very excessive to them that you'd build a whole room and make the biggest piece of furniture in it solely for the purpose of sleep. All of those plushies just to hug to sleep?

Drell, who breathe through their skin, would view blankets as a total nightmare. Their clothes already need a lot of adjustment to accommodate their conditions, only certain material is airy enough to allow them to get a lungfull, and you want to suffocate them with cotton or polyester?

They know you only breathe through your nose, but it still...makes them feel uneasy. Seeing you covered completely in stuffies and thick blankets, only your head poking out. Much like what it would feel for us to see someone go to sleep underwater with a flimsy mask connected to an oxygen tank. Now, this is truly a death trap–the salarians were right.

As long as you forgo the blanket and...allow them to fully strip down, they will give this whole human bed thing a try. Silk or satin sheets and pillow covers feel the best against their skin, smooth surfaces that seamlessly glide, air particles passing through it with little trouble.

Anything fluffy, feathery, or with fur will irritate their skin. It's like something brushing against your nose. They sacrifice a lot of comfort when it comes to indulging the human need to cuddle, but most drell rarely complain as they accommodate to your need, even if it meant you'd be slightly cutting off their air circulation.

Maybe their society is exceptionally polite? Maybe devotion and sacrifice for the ones you love are just ingrained in their biology? It would explain their endless royalty to the hanar despite how staying on that planet is literally killing them.

Oh yeah, owning a humidifier in your room will cause them a lot of pain and discomfort. Turn it off, or if you really want to woo a drell, get a dehumidifier.

Krogans would fucking love our beds tho. Might make fun of it at first, but they secretly also want a soft mattress and plushies to cuddle with.

Get close enough with a Krogan, and they'll start crashing in your room and taking naps on your own bed whenever the chance presents itself.

Don't the asari sleep in pods? I'm thinking of that sex scene in ME, she fucks you in a pod. That's something. At least...Liara gets used to human beds?

-

Anway! having established all of that definitely vital and necessary world building, I can finally talk smut about the turians! the original context of this request!

One look at a human's bed and their minds are definitely going south. First of all, human, you're in desperate need of a mate because your nest is a mess! Why do you have so many different fabrics? Aren't you worried you'll suffocate yourself with a plushie or too while sleeping?

Second of all...they didn't know humans were this soft. You mean, most humans sleep like this? In very comfortable beds? Even like...the army tough ones? Oh, that's why they get so excited for shore leave? so they can return to their actual comfortable nests–sorry yes "beds" and have some decent sleep?

huh.

And none of you are expecting children, correct? This is just how the average adult human goes to sleep?

Turians don't have the heart to tell you that they associate soft beds–ones like yours—to the human equivalent of a heart-shaped bed with rose petals scattered around, candles illuminating the room and a very deliberate lack of condoms.

They try not to...think about it whenever they come into the room. A bluish hue adorning their cheeks, trying to avoid eye-contact as they explain that uh...fuck, they accidentally glanced towards your bed and forgot what they came here to say.

I talked before how jarring it's to them that humans easily allow others on their bed, be it human or not. You just casually invite your friends to sit on it? The same sheets you sleep on each night? the one so heavy with your delicious scent they can practically smell it the second they stepped foot into this room?

And now you're telling them to take a seat, even handing them one of your plushies to keep in their lap. What's a friendly gesture and a show of trust is being very very badly misinterpreted by their brain chemistry, their biology going haywire at what they consider the declaration of "Get me pregnant" Whether you're actually capable of it or not.

-

Sidenote, the angara might be the only ones to share our bed preferences, not only that but show enthusiasm at the mention of plushies.

The only difference is that their society values plushies that resemble people more, angara like them. The dolls and plushie lineup are very intertwined.

Cuddling very intimately with someone isn't sexualised either, nor presented under a romantic light necessarily. Their society prides itself on love and affection; they're direct with expressing their emotions.

A single angara family can have many mothers and fathers, tens of sisters and brothers. Cuddling and sharing a bed is very normalised even far into adulthood.

They might be the ones giving humans the wrong idea by immediately inviting them back to cuddle on their bed after only the second meeting. Just because they decided they like you :) It's the equivalent of going out for coffee.

Protheoans, meanwhile, fall on the opposite spectrum. Javik doesn't have a bed, does he? He never asks for one either. They're a society of warriors, they value strength and abhor tenderness. Brutal honesty is their forte.

But...they also read each other's emotions through touch.

While beds are a foreign concept, plushies are not. Javik can sense the history of a room just by directly touching its floorboards. Plushies and other sentimental objects must be valued very greatly in their society, doesn't he hold onto the disk of memories from his time back before being frozen?

He understands why his own species came to value plushies, but why the hell does yours do it? You lack his abilities, all humans do.

You try to explain it to him, but it just sounds like you're describing vague and badly done emotion reading with extra steps.

He concludes that humans must hold traces of these abilities. It just translates into safety and the need to cuddle others. Also, it is clearly inferior to the protheon's advanced ability, so yeah.

Javik dislikes your bed but likes your plushies and actually welcomes cuddling. He remains stoic throughout it but you can feel him poking through your memories.

Same with your plushies, he asks that he may keep one as a relic. A piece of your soul, your history is encased in it like an artifact in amber.

Touching it almost feels exactly like travelling in time to meet your old self, getting to part the curtians of space itself and get a front row view on the person you used to be.

Plushies immortalise you to protheans, who would've thought.

-

I had so much fun with this an analysis it <333 I know it isn't exactly what you had in mind anon, I'm sorry, A/B/O is listed as a "no" in my requesting list. But the concept was so good I had to approach it in a different direction.

I hope you still enjoyed it!

[taniahylian]

Thoughts on the Revival of the Uluru games event

Alright, first of all, I'd like to start by saying that I did like the event. It was a fun little adventure, with interesting characters and complex interactions, and it actually made the laugh at some parts. Plus, it's a nice breather from all the angst of the main story. That said... I also think it's very weak on some parts and it could've been better done. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that The Theft of the Rimmet Cup (my least favorite story event) had slightly better writing than this.

(Spoilers under the line!)

The story itself has many problems, but I think the main one is the lack of a proper villain. Sure, we have Mr. Papparazi (forgot his name tbh), but his connection to the story is only with Dessert Flannel and his motivation is rather vague up until the very end of the last episode. Imo the story would've been better if we didn't have a villain at all and we instead focused on the conflict convincing the foundation to bring back the Uluru games and getting people exited for them again or something. We didn't need Mr. Papparazi and the story suffered a lot because of his existence.

Then we also have the ending... and, well... I don't dislike it? I think the message of "humans and arcanists coming together to compete, not to fight" is a nice one, and very needed in this universe. That said, I actually hate the execution. Let me explain.

So, we had Flannel telling Ezra about how Arcanists get injured more easily than humans, but because they heal fast, what they do is take an unhealthy amout of painkillers to bare with the pain until they get back to health like 15 minutes later, and they do this to be able to compete against humans in contact sports. It's even implied that Spathodea herself has likely done this as well, since she practices boxing, and it's obviously a metaphor for irl drug abuse in athletes.

Now, my problem is that the above stablishes the need for an arcanist-only sports festival, and the importance of the Uluru games... but then they say humans will be competing in the Uluru games as well! Do you see the problem?

Imo if they wanted the message to be "humans and arcanist should do sports together", then the problem with arcanists in human sports should've been different. Like, idk, arcanists having to hide their identity in order to not be disqualified from human sports, or maybe not being allowed to compete professionally because they're viewed as "too volatile" or something. But the problem they presented goes against the message of the ending of the event.

Idk, maybe I'm being a bit too harsh on it because it's a clear drop of quality compared to 1.2 and 1.3, but please let me know what you think!

[annamariehamilton-unofficial]

Random Ghoulposting: A Gay Ghoul?!? Followup, part I

So, my little "No gay ghouls? hold my coffee" joke post seems to have gone a bit viral, which I was not at all expecting; anyway, I just wanted to post a little followup with some of my personal thoughts and theories apropos of Tokyo Ghoul and the lgbt community. I wouldn't consider myself to be queer, but I do know a bunch of people in that community, so, idk, hopefully this is insightful.

Obviously you are welcome to disagree with me, this is just my specific interpretation.

The Fandom

As I've deep-dove into the TG fandom in the last few months, I've discovered this really interesting paradox in that Sui Ishida, the author, has a really unfortunate tendency to rely on negative stereotypes and tropes for his characterization of queer characters. And yet, at the same time, TG seems to deeply resonate with (some) members of the lgbtq community because its themes of being an outsider in greater society and the importance of learning to accept those who are different from you. Like I don't think I've ever seen a work be both so riddled with homophobic/transphobic stereotypes and also so beloved by people in the queer community (at least so far as I can tell on Tumblr, which is, admittedly, a microcosm).

A couple of reasons for this, I think. For one, I've noticed a lot of queer people really resonate with horror and fantasy. And not just queer people -- people of any minority/marginalized identity, really. But it is a pretty pronounced trend among queer folks as far as I've seen. Fantasy and horror are this really great venue for exploring feelings of alienation and "otherness" in ways that can honestly feel more authentic expressed with "unreal" elements than in a more strictly realist fashion. Like instead of it being like, "ok, here's this gay/black/disabled/autistic/whatever character, you're supposed to relate to them because you share an identity," it's more like, all right, this character is a werewolf/vampire/ghoul/whatever, and this story shows viscerally how it FEELS to be "other," and THAT is what makes it relatable.

So, even though TG does have some homophobic aspects to it, the premise, of a group of people who are marginalized by society for something that isn't even their choice, but who are still shown to be complex *people* just as much as the human characters, would really resonate with anyone from any marginalized background, queer people included.

(I mean, I'm an Autistic somewhat-acespec Christian girl with anxiety and a certain amount of religious trauma who has a special interest in dark fantasy and classic literature, and TG hits me RIGHT in the identity-specific feels, so I can see how it would for others too).

The other thing is that, even though Ishida relies pretty heavily on problematic queer villainy tropes, I think he does just good enough of a job of giving all of his characters some shred of humanity or relatability, that ... well, I won't say that it's *okay*, because it's still not, but I think readers like myself are a bit more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Like yes, Nico is kind of a walking toxic gay stereotype. But let's also not forget that he stood up to an *extremely* physically and emotionally abusive partner to try to protect Kaneki and two other innocent victims, just because he thought it was the right thing to do. Tsukiyama also falls into the predatory gay man stereotype, at least at first, but he was just so enjoyable and fun (and, despite all his weird cannibal obsessiveness, he did seem to genuinely *like* Kaneki as a person) that he became a fan-favorite even when he was still the stereotypical queer villain of the week. Ishida also gave him something of a series-long redemption arc, turning him into a complex and lovable character who is, still, a fan favorite. Uta is a legitimately cool and nice guy, even if he does do some *very* morally questionable things with the Clown Masks later on. Even Jason is a monster plain and simple, but he became that way because he himself was abused, and his reminisces about his mother remind us that even the worst people still have someone they love.

I haven't read all the way through :re yet, and the negative queer tropes apparently get even worse there ... Mutsuki's descent into mental illness and jealous rage plays into a number of uncomfortable transphobic and misogynistic tropes, but I guess it sort of makes sense in the context of their past and struggles with mental illness, and the themes of the story with the relationship between trauma and moral decay. And prior to that really unfortunate arc, Mutsuki was genuinely a super cool character. Matsuri Washuu's profession of love to Urie was ... real weird, and the way he did it was gratuitous ... but you do kind of feel bad for the guy for being basically forced into marrying a woman he isn't attracted to for the family honor.

Then, of course, you have all the characters who aren't canonically queer, but are so relatable in more positive ways for queer folks that many fans headcanon them to be queer. Hide's unconditional love and devotion for Kaneki comes to mind. Or Hsiao and Saiko coming across as being queer but in a good/cool way. Or Juuzo's ambiguous gender expression, and Juuzo being completely unhinged but also one of the most well-loved characters in the series.

So I guess what I'm saying is ... yeah, the portrayal of queer characters in TG is problematic, and I don't mean to be defending it, exactly, but I guess what I'm saying is that even when the author is being awful with the tropes, he's still somehow able to write characters who feel human enough to occasionally transcend those tropey boxes he pushes them into.

I will also note that most of the queer or queer-ish characters are still alive in the final chapter. So, of all of the terrible tropes TG engages in with its queer characters, at least "bury your gays" isn't one of them.

IDK just my thoughts. I'll be posting another follow-up with some of my in-universe headcanons later on, I think.

[lemonlover1110]

I feel like people are also forgetting that Mrs. Gojo also played a part in y/n not telling Satoru, like on top of all the other contributing factors, the first time y/n went to their estate, mrs Gojo took the chance to rub in her face the fact that Satoru had already moved on and slammed the door in her face. Imagine being alone and pregnant and stressed, your partner literally ghosted you in the most foul manner, your financial situation is not the best and is about to get worse because you now have to support another human being. it's really not that hard to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how much despair and heartbreak she must have been feeling in that moment. now idk about y'all but i have had mental breakdowns over less stressful situations lmaoo

She most likely felt like since Satoru was marrying another woman, she would be ruining his new life if she were to just jump in there unexpectedly and be like surprise you have a son lol. she's not a terrible person. despite satoru doing her so dirty she probably didn't want him to hate her even more than she thought he already did.

and then when she did finally tell mrs gojo the truth, it was because she as a single mother, couldn't make ends meet to properly provide for her son AND take care of her sick mom. she literally went there knowing mrs gojo could take Ren away but she was so desperate. and what was mrs. Gojo's condition for helping y/n? to not tell Satoru about Ren!!!! now wHY would y/n turn around and be like hmm I think i'll tell Satoru about his son, when Mrs. Gojo holds all the leverage to just take Ren from her and kick her out. She's just doing what she can to survive and make sure her child can live well. damn y'all are cold if you can't understand that 😭

THIS!! there's so many emotions going on, humans are complex beings and while Y/N cares for Gojo and might feel bad for hiding his son from him, she still resents him. She's also scared and from the very beginning it's known that she doesn't want to tell Gojo about their son anymore because she can finally support her son and she doesn't want to risk getting him taken away from her.

[ohwolfling]

adding to my post about Gale as "annoying" or doomed to die, as interpreted from that Larian interview...

@by-ilmater left these great tags and is being kind enough to let me do a big post responding, to further clarify!

#you're not wrong and i definitely agree#the teasing lines in the game from other characters always made sense and didn't bother me#especially characters like z'rell or minthara like that makes total sense#i think that ign interview irked me specifically because it seemed like they were downplaying gale's entire narrative#which is just as complex and beautiful and interesting as all the other characters#and boiling it down to 'annoying needy man makes up for his mistakes by blowing himself up'#which is imo the most bland and boring way his story can play out#like okay? he did a big oopsy with the orb and is continuing to pay the price for it#instead of exploring the option of his path to a redemption of sorts or his ambitious desire for godhood#we're just gonna have him sacrifice himself for the greater good and maybe go to elysium#like i know they're not saying this is the only way to play the game but why phrase it the way they did?#idk idk my feelings are complicated i guess

and I want to clarify what I think probably happened there.

When they discuss Gale's death "fixing" things or how inspiring it was, they're talking about design and narrative design. There ARE more plot holes if Gale lives. I'm okay with that, obviously, as are all of us. But it is something that game designers and writers are going to be thinking about. Gale's death is a visually stunning scene that pretty finally kabooms demigods and monsters. That's all that part of the interview means. They're not pro suicidality, they're not saying that Gale as a person deserved death. They mean narratively.

Calling Gale "annoying," is from this quote:

"On a very human level, you have the guy who starts out annoying everyone, he's constantly asking you to give him your most treasured possessions to eat, otherwise he's in trouble, and at the end, he gives himself for the world."

I think fanon interpretation is that they're saying Gale deserves to die because he can or that suicidal people should just die or that Gale is canon fact Annoying. But I don't see that here at all.

I expanded on this further here but Gale is a RED HERRING. He is a very suspicious character. Is it dumb and just... the anti thesis of comprehension to whine about Gale eating two items once you know the beats of the game? Yeah, for sure, throw those dudes and memes into a well. But Gale's placement as a character is SUSPICIOUS ON PURPOSE. His function in the story is to be untrustworthy and irritating to the player. And listen, is he beautiful? is he silly and goofy the whole time? Do I love having a little Point Break mullet George Michael? Absolutely, THAT'S MY WIFE. Was I panicked about needing to feed him an amount of relics I did not know in a game whose difficulty and scarcity I did not know? YUP. Was I very mindful that this was coming from a dude who did not allow the initial illithid brain worm synch up and so I did not know his story yet? ALSO YUP. They're really and truly just talking about his PURPOSE as a character.

What happened here, I think, is that we are immediately reading things about Gale on the defense because of the aforementioned flavor of fandom dickhead. Larian Studios has never had this much press before and is being interviewed by someone who wants to talk about deeper themes and clearly KNOWS the game, which is not always the case (I write in games and let me tell you, they do not give a single fuck if they give the Baldurs Gate piece to the person who actually likes it, it is not a good time industry being run by passionate people, it is being run by corporations who hate every person they pay tbqh). They were not on the offense, they are not going to- even if they're more aware of it- answer interview questions about LITERARY THEMES AND GAMEPLAY FUNCTIONS with the most parasocial/maladaptive relationships in mind. It's not possibly to be open about your creative work and do all of that.

Again, it doesn't mean you're wrong to have a feeling. But I personally do not see any evidence in this interview that anyone at Larian doesn't like Gale or is labeling him as irrevocably annoying and deserving to die.

[theragethatisdesire]

fic-d here, please, i desperately need the smut abc for plug eren because i am OBSESSED with him.

and i also need to know exactly what kind of clothes he wears, for … unrelated reasons.

hiiiii mooty moot <3 can i just say i'm thrilled you asked this. fair warning for anyone about to open below the cut, this is going to be an absolute MONSTER of a post. and i'm going to love every second of writing it lol.

okay first, the outfits. plug!eren is very like, stoner/streetwear type. LOVES layers, lots of hoodies and flannels and jackets, always wearing Vans, really favors a graphic t-shirt (thrasher, anime tees, has a really impressive collection of vintage band t-shirts and limited-edition supreme drops) i shall attach some reference photos:

idk if this is even the right vibe, but just very casual, whatever-works type of clothes. owns like, two button downs vs his 1001 sweatshirts lol.

and now...onto the nasty stuff LOL enjoy lovebug

PLUG!EREN nsfw headcanons under the cut <3

A. Aftercare

plug!eren is 25, yes, but he's also kind of just a boy at heart lol. it takes him awhile to understand the whole concept of aftercare and just laying and spending time together after sex because he bounces back fast, and is already jumping up to cook dinner or get both of you ready to go to a kickback or something like, two minutes after. once you explain the concept to him, he develops a complex for awhile that he "hasn't been treating you well", and goes really overboard LOL but eventually it evens out. becomes a big fan of snuggling afterwards but would never admit it.

B. Body part

eren was a thin kid growing up, and he's super proud of all the work he's put in to change his body over the years. especially proud of his back, it's his favorite muscle group to work and the one he tracks the progress of the most for sure.

on you, plug!eren is an asssss man. like, he's the king of ass men. constantly running up behind you to land a light smack, grabbing it, holds it while you're cuddling etc. also loves your hips? like, he loves when you ride him specifically so that he can hold on tight and grab at the fat around your hips. i cannot overstate how much he loves it.

C. Cum

plug!eren def has a face-painting thing. he loves to cum in you, and it takes him a few hook-ups to tentatively throw out there that he'd love to cum on your face, but after you let him do it the once, it's over. wants to cum on your pretty face and take pictures of you all covered in him every time you fuck.

D. Dirty secret

being an engineering/architect student, eren's not bad with a pencil and paper. loves to sketch the human body as much as he loves thinking up random building designs. not going to elaborate much here bc spoilers....

E. Experience

LMAO plug!eren is absolutely ran through, so yes, he knows what he's doing.

F. Favorite position

for eren, it's a toss-up between doggy or letting you ride him, both of which stem from his thing for your hips and your ass. i think he would say riding him solely because you usually cum harder that way and eren loves watching you cum, but if it's winning out over doggy, it's only by like, an infinitesimal amount.

G. Goofy

it takes him awhile, but once eren's comfortable, he can be such a goofball during the act. like, will giggle with you when you bump your head on the headboard, full-blown belly laughing when he tries to shove you up against the wall and knocks a few picture frames down. once, one of the legs under his bed broke and you both laughed so hard about it that you couldn't even finish the act. absolutely had a photoshoot of both of you pulling ridiculous poses right beside the now-broken bed.

H. Hair

eren's not like, full-blown bush or anything, but i don't see him doing much more than just trimming. he's terrified of nicking his balls or something if he fully shaves LOL.

on you, eren would never tell you what to do with your body (again, ran through enough to know that's a big no-no when it comes to women), but i think he secretly loves when you're completely bare because he's really into watching how you take him. it gives him an unobstructed view, whether he's eating you out, fingering you, or fucking you, he loves to be able to see every bit of you.

I. Intimacy

plug!eren struggles with being intimate, and while he craves it, he hides it under constant rough sex. after you've been together for awhile though, you have a huge, blowout, nearly-break-up fight, and when he fucks you that night, he's slow and sweet and definitely not tearing up, whispering little i love yous into your skin while he rolls his hips against you. making love is definitely in him, it just takes him awhile to get up to that point.

J. Jack off

24/7. no question. this man's sex drive is unbelievable and honestly? sometimes you're too sore or just not in the mood, really. my favorite thing about plug!eren is that when you just can't go another round, he'll have you sit up all pretty and naked for him and just jack off staring at you, making you talk to him and tell you how good he made you feel. lovesick little baby.

K. Kinks

huge pleasure dom. "can't cum again" is not in eren's vocabulary- he knows you can and he knows he can make you, so what's the harm in one more? not sure if this counts as a kink, but eren's obsessed with the way you smell. not just like, your arousal, but your perfume, that little scent that everyone has that just smells like them really gets him going. every time he stays at your house he can't keep his hands off of you, loves to steal little things like a pair of panties or a dirty shirt just to have at his place for when he misses you. could get down with a daddy kink if you were into it. i struggle to think of the word for this, but he's just nasty. his favorite kind of sex is freaky, nasty, flat-out disgusting sex with cum everywhere and the sheets ruined. big marking kink, loves to leave bruises and hickeys all over you as well.

L. Location

plug!eren is very possessive, what's his is his, so not really into the public sex thing, but will take you absolutely anywhere he knows no one could catch you and get a glimpse of what's just for him. really into sex in the kitchen for some reason?? shower sex too, god that is his favorite, just having you soaking wet and pinned up against the shower wall. up against a wall in general, actually. again, he's worked really hard to get all these muscles, and it definitely gets him off how easily he can just scoop you up and fuck you in his arms. might be an ego thing but hey, who are you to complain?

M. Motivation

anything that reminds him you're his. like, if he catches a glimpse of his hickeys on your neck under your makeup? you're going home from dinner early. you're walking around in one of his tshirts? he's bending you over the counter and you're not taking that shirt off for a second. eren's also a very detail-oriented person, so if he tells you he really likes red lipstick for example, and you wear it the next day, he knows it's for him and for some reason the thought of you choosing something to wear that you know will turn him on makes him feral. you're his pretty little thing, and he loves when you show off a little for him. LOVES lingerie. like, the complicated, full-set bells and whistles of garter sets and stockings and the whole thing. embarrassed at first because he can't figure out how to take any of it off of you, but when you just smile at him shyly and pull your panties to the side, he debates leaving you there to go buy an engagement ring LOL.

N. No

surprisingly, anal. eren's very well-endowed and a girl he was seeing for awhile talked him into anal, and even though they prepared well, she was still in too much pain to really enjoy it and it scarred him a little bit. he likes to hurt you within reason, but that's crossing a line for him, so no more than a finger or two and even then, only if you really want it.

O. Oral

LOVES GIVING HEAD. like, could die happy between your legs, it's his favorite part of sex type of loves giving head. has to beg you for it, but his favorite is when you ride his face. also loves receiving. really big into pulling out when he's getting close and having you finish him with your mouth. also loves eating you out after he's cum in you, then spitting both of your cum into your mouth. again, he's a nasty nasty man and i love him.

P. Pace

eren fucks fast and hard, especially once you've gotten used to his size. he has to ease you into it at first, he's not a total asshole, but once you've gotten adjusted, it's all gas no brakes with him. all those hours in the gym really pay off when he can have you bent over for what feels like an endless amount of time, crying and wailing under him.

Q. Quickie

weirdly, LOVES a quickie. totally gets off watching you limp off to work/class after he bent you over the bathroom counter in the middle of you doing your makeup just to make your legs a little extra-shaky for the day. you're both busy, what can he say? absolutely pulls your panties up with his cum in you and tells you to keep it in there for him.

R. Risk

eren's down for whatever you're down for. he's already fleshed out most of his kinks and fantasies at this point, other than a few things he really needs a committed partner for. it really turns him on when you take the initiative to shyly ask if you can try something, and when you come over one day tentatively holding out a pair of handcuffs? oh he's done for. the one thing he doesn't love is being submissive. he'll let you have your fun, choke him a little, ride him, etc., but he really isn't into being a full-on sub and being made to beg. i think that would be his other really hard no, come to think of it.

S. Stamina

eren is, again, ran through, so he's got some stamina. usually can last at least half an hour, sometimes he can even put himself off longer. he loves to try to go multiple rounds, but honestly, he wears himself out LOL. that doesn't mean you're off the hook though. eren might not be able to get it up, but he's got a mouth and some talented fingers and he loves to make you cum over and over just for his own entertainment.

T. Toys

toys are friends, not enemies! eren specifically loves your vibrator, it's small and easy to use in multiple different positions. his absolute favorite is to have you on top of him, fully seated and grinding against his hips, while he holds your vib to your clit. no chance of him getting enough friction to bust early, and he can make you cum at least two or three times like that until you're in tears and begging him to actually fuck you. yeah, that's his fav.

U. Unfair

eren's not so much of an intentional tease (bc he will accidentally work himself up too much and have to leave the bar early lol), but he's just so unintentionally pretty he doesn't have to try. i mean come on, he's beautiful and he's naturally so charismatic and flirty that he can tease without trying. and when you both get home and you're all riled up and pulling his clothes off, it's so entertaining to him. he loves when you tell him how pretty he is, how he got you all turned on just doing nothing but being himself.

V. Volume

plug!eren is a big dirty talker, but he's actually pretty vocal on top of that, too. loves to moan and groan and tell you exactly how good you feel, whether that's with a noise or his words. he's the loudest when you give him head, it just feels so good and he can't help but ramble on and on about how good you are to him. his "tell" that he's about to cum is when he starts rambling, words slurring together and it just seems like he can't shut up.

W. Wild card

eren loves when you're a little drunk, lowest of keys. not so drunk he's taking advantage of you, but when you let the responsible, professor mask slip and just really let yourself go and have fun, it drives him crazy. he loves seeing you happy, and in an honestly almost-perverted way, he loves seeing you go absolutely crazy with your friends. it just makes him so hard to see you uninhibited and dancing in the middle of the club like you own the place, all eyes on you.

X. X-ray

i think this was pretty well covered in the fic but.....yeah it's big. like, a solid eight inches, girthy, veiny, pornstar dick. eren's blessed and he knows it and uses it to his advantage. your favorite game together is to see how much of him you can get down your throat and eren's obnoxiously cheering you on like a coach. "you're almost halfway babe, have you been practicing on bananas or something?" "shut up eren! i'm trying to concentrate!"

Y. Yearning

okay i feel like it's basically canon that eren's ready to go at all times, no matter what, and plug!eren is not exempt from that. on top of this, though, he's really turned on by...idk, mundane things? like when you stretch with your arms over your head and he can see the outline of your breasts through your shirt, the curve of your neck, when you stick a pen through the bun on top of your head. like, the silliest things turn him on, only adding to his super high sex drive.

Z. Zzzz

eren's usually still bouncing off the walls right after, loves pillow talking and staying up late and discussing any topic he can think of under the sun. he's very restless as a person, so it takes him awhile to go to sleep, especially plug!eren. you usually fall asleep first. always has to go rip the bong a few times or he's just got 0 chance of knocking out, but he always sleeps better when you're snuggled up to him <3

[sp0o0kylights]

Idk if you're still taking submissions from the WIP game, but if so, I would definitely be interested in a snippet for 20.

20! This is Hungry, the main werewolf AU I have. Outside of my big fics (in terms of word length--Cults and Illustrated) I have the most snippets for Hungry, but its so all over the place lol.

This is not A/B/O, this is a werewolf verse similar to Patricia Briggs/Ilona Andrews type of werewolves. As with the others, it may get a LOT of the editing axe lol.

Snippet:

Steve woke with a groan, feeling like he’d been hit by a car.

Again. 

“Do I want to know what happened?” He muttered, though it was mostly to his own wolf, as the details of the earlier morning slowly filtered through his memories.  

Like many werewolves, his wolf was a part of him, but often operated almost like it was a purely separate being. 

This was due to the drastic differences between wolf and human lives, with the human portion having more problems adjusting to their combined form than the blunt way wolves did. It let werewolves feel like they could “talk” to their other half, though the actual magic was far more complex than that.

Steve didn’t particularly care for complexities and so, just went with the basic explanation of things. 

It suited him and his wolf just fine. 

Eddie was passed next to him, head pillowed on Steve's chest, face tucked into his neck. A glance showed Jonathan was blinking awake behind Eddie, curled up into a tight ball the same way he always slept. 

This meant Steve got to watch the sheer joy that was Eddie Munson’s curls tickling Jonathan Byers’ nose, the latter sneezing himself into full awareness. 

“Shut up Steve.” He grumbled when he finally stopped, Steve desperately trying to silence his snickering so that they didn’t wake Eddie. 

::I’d tell you to make me, Byer’s, but I don’t need to give Eddie ideas.:: Steve said it over the packbond between them, making the conversation both private and silent, so as to not wake their sleeping member. 

He waggled his eyebrows though, just to see the face it made Jonathan make. 

(He got an amazing eye roll in response, the both of them pretending Jonathan wasn’t trying to hide a smile. )

He studied their newest member while for a while, chewing absently on his lower lip as he did so, and Steve let him take his time.

Wasn't in the mood to rush things, after the close call they'd had back in the kitchen.

:: I like him.:: Jonathan said finally, sounding quiet even when he talked in a way that didn’t involve his voice at all. ::I don’t know what Hop said to him or why, but from what I’ve seen, he’s well suited to being our Second.:: 

Second as in, the official Second in Command of the Pack, as in Nancy’s replacement, something Steve agreed wholeheartedly with. 

Nancy tried, bless her. She did. Didn’t do a bad job either, it was just that….

Steve thought of how pinched her face got when all six children sprung one of their hair brained  schemes on the Pack, how she made strangling motions at Mike’s back when she thought no one could see her. 

It was hilarious, and meant in good fun, but it also was a reminder that when it came to wrangling all their younger members, Eddie was far superior both in ability to direct and lead them. 

(Bonus, they actually cared about Eddie’s approval and opinion.)

[fxoye2]

I find the idea that Jim’s views Spock’s attractiveness as serious as a gravitational law interesting— for Spock, I think the equivalent of that, in all versions — even AOS, when they’re most combative — is his loyalty to Jim. Like, he would follow Jim anywhere; he’d do anything for Jim because he trusts him more than anyone. Falling in love with him was something, however, he didn’t expect along with that bone deep loyalty, nor was his attraction. I think in every universe, he’s aware that Jim’s handsome, both in looks & personality, but it’s only when he has to reckon with that on his own that it starts to kind of make it a problem. I do think this goes differently for each version of Spock (I guess TOS/SNW are technically the same version? Idk)

Ohhh man, I love this question, and I think the idea of Spock’s loyalty to Jim being as fundamental as Jim’s attraction to Spock is just perfect. It’s like these two are bound by something so deeply ingrained in who they are that it transcends everything else. But yeah, how that plays out definitely depends on which version of Spock we’re talking about because each one brings something unique to the table. Let me break it down because I have many feelings about this, and Spock in every universe is just… ugh, my heart.

AOS Spock is complicated in ways that tie directly into his internal conflict between his Vulcan and human sides. He’s so emotionally complex, and I think a big part of his issue is that he still sees his human side as a disadvantage—a flaw he has to constantly overcompensate for. His struggle isn’t so much about feeling “less,” but about feeling like he has to prove himself more because of the parts of himself he doesn’t fully accept yet. He’s sharp, he’s snarky, and there’s this almost defensive layer to him.

He’s not the type to openly acknowledge emotions or attraction, and that’s what makes his journey with Jim so fascinating. Spock’s loyalty is a given—he’d follow Jim anywhere, trust him with his life—but the attraction? That’s where things get messy. Spock didn’t expect to feel this deeply for Jim, and it takes him by surprise. He’s always compartmentalized his emotions, but Jim forces him to confront the fact that some feelings can’t be neatly filed away. And this is where we see the cracks in Spock’s otherwise logical exterior. He’s devoted to Jim, but coming to terms with why he’s devoted? That’s a whole other battle. AOS Spock fights against that attraction because he hasn’t yet accepted that his human emotions are part of what makes him whole. He’s always working to keep things in check, and when those feelings for Jim creep up, it’s like his whole carefully constructed world gets shaken.

And honestly, AOS Spock’s bitchiness? It’s his armor. He uses it to maintain control over situations, over himself, and even over how others perceive him. He nitpicks, he points out illogic, because it’s what he does to himself. He holds himself to impossible standards, and it spills over into his interactions with others. His loyalty to Jim, though, is what begins to soften that, even if Spock isn’t ready to admit it. The depth of that loyalty opens the door to feelings he can’t quite control, and you can see him wrestling with it throughout the AOS movies.

Now, TOS Spock is a whole different kind of complicated. He’s not any less loyal to Jim, but the way he deals with his emotions is much more measured. He’s had more time to figure out how to balance his Vulcan and human sides, even if he still struggles with that internal conflict. The difference is, TOS Spock has learned to bury his emotions deeper, but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. His loyalty to Jim is absolute, and you can tell that, over time, it evolves into something more profound. But where AOS Spock is sharp and defensive, TOS Spock is more subtle and witty. He’ll make those little jabs, sure, but it’s less about proving something and more about gently teasing. His relationship with Jim feels quieter in some ways, but no less intense.

TOS Spock already knows that Jim is an extraordinary human being, and I think, on some level, he’s always been aware of his attraction to Jim—he just keeps it under wraps because that’s what Vulcans do. It’s not that Spock’s feelings aren’t as intense as AOS Spock’s, it’s that he’s better at managing them. He’s already learned that emotions and logic aren’t mutually exclusive, and while he still defaults to logic, his connection with Jim is something he doesn’t need to question. His loyalty, his love—it’s all there, and I think he accepts it more readily than AOS Spock does. It’s like he knows, deep down, that Jim is the one person who truly understands him. He just doesn’t express it in the same fiery way.

And then… we have SNW Spock, who, I know, isn’t everyone’s favorite, but bear with me because I think he’s incredibly important to Spock’s overall journey. A lot of people feel disconnected from SNW Spock because he’s so different from the Spock we know and love in TOS—he’s more polished, more… cishet on the surface. But what I think people miss is that all of this is intentional. SNW Spock is raw. He’s unpolished. He’s messy, and I think that’s exactly what makes him so fascinating. This is Spock before he becomes the person we know in TOS.

SNW Spock is a character in the middle of a huge personal struggle, trying to balance the expectations of both his Vulcan and human sides while navigating his role in Starfleet. At this point in his life, he’s still desperately seeking acceptance, and that manifests in how he presents himself. His fit, polished appearance isn’t just a Starfleet standard—it’s Spock’s way of maintaining control when he feels like everything inside is chaotic. He believes that if he can just present himself as disciplined and perfect on the outside, it will compensate for the internal turmoil he’s experiencing. This external perfection is a shield he uses to protect himself from feeling like he doesn’t belong.

What’s interesting about this phase of Spock’s life is that he’s still following social expectations, and that includes how he approaches relationships. The fact that we see him kissing women in SNW isn’t about him suddenly being straight or heteronormativity—he’s just trying to follow the script he thinks society expects him to. Women show interest in him, and he assumes it’s only natural to reciprocate, even if that’s not truly what he wants deep down. He’s still too caught up in the idea of fitting in and doing what’s “normal” to question whether those interactions align with his actual desires.

The heart of SNW Spock’s struggle is that he hasn’t yet realized that he doesn’t need to perform for others to have value. His carefully maintained appearance and relationships with women are part of his attempt to find a place in a world that wants him to be either fully human or fully Vulcan. He hasn’t yet found peace with being both, and so he’s trying to mold himself into what he thinks people want. It’s not about rejecting his queerness or his more complicated emotions—it’s about trying to fit in when he still feels out of place.

Ultimately, SNW Spock is searching for validation, trying to balance the weight of expectation with his own identity. He’s still figuring out where he belongs, and part of that process involves adhering to social norms that don’t quite fit him. It’s a messy, uncomfortable stage, but it’s also essential for his growth. Spock is trying to control the parts of himself that feel unmanageable, but over time, he’ll learn that he doesn’t need to fit into anyone’s mold.

In all versions, though, that deep, unwavering loyalty to Jim is what anchors Spock. Whether he’s young and unsure in SNW, snarky and defensive in AOS, or refined and reserved in TOS, that loyalty evolves into something more—something that goes beyond words, beyond logic. And that’s what makes their connection so powerful in every timeline.