#that's kind of blasphemous but i love this idiot

[whosname]

My favourite pizza delivery ninja, Hattori Zenzou and my new fancy magic pencil procreate brush

[phddyke]

Hazbin Hotel is actually healing my inner ex-Christian so hard.

No joke, I nearly started cheering when Lute called Charlie and Vaggie’s love “vile and blasphemous” (and then burst out laughing when Adam immediately followed it up with “Hot as fuck though”). I know that may sound weird considering that I am, in fact, a lesbian, but here me out:

Seeing Christians being explicitly homophobic onscreen? It validates me. It makes me think “Oh yeah, I’m not crazy, Christians are that hateful!” And, call me crazy, but I think homophobia being tied in with villainy is a good thing. Neither Adam or Lute are supposed to be good people; they are very obviously the villain, and that establishes their behavior as bad. Someone on Twitter said that Lute gave them religious fanatic vibes and I couldn’t agree more.

And here’s the thing, too: it’s explicit homophobia, not some dumb metaphor. There’s no way to take it as anything else. And I really need that. I need to see Christians being explicitly homophobic onscreen in the same way that other people need and create worlds where homophobia doesn’t exist.

But me? I want my pain and suffering acknowledged. I want the harm that Christianity does acknowledged. Homophobia is real and the religious kind doubly so. I related to Vaggie so much in that episode; I felt her trepidation about going back to Heaven. Felt like a good metaphor for escaping a fundamentalist church only to be forced to visit again.

And Viv is not afraid to explicitly point this out and criticize them. Like, yes! Say it! They are hypocrites! They don’t care about people being better, they only care about punishment! They maimed one of their own and left her to die because she spared a child! They’re homophobic freaks! They would never see the good that Angel does and how he’s improved and is wonderful, they only see that he’s a drug addict and a sex worker and think he’s worthless for that even though Jesus broke bread with sex workers and people considered the dregs of society. (And of course Angel is gay on top of that.)

And another thing: not only did the Adam line make me laugh, but the second homophobic Lute line about “he blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth” cracked me up too. It reminded me of the pilot where Katie Killjoy said “I don’t touch the gays” to Charlie, which is a line that made me laugh for 4+ years straight. When I told my brother that was the funniest homophobia I’d ever heard in media, he very wisely said, “All homophobia is funny if you think about it.” And you know what? He’s right. It is funny, because it’s so fundamentally goddamn stupid, so let’s give characters ridiculous lines so everyone can laugh at how idiotic they and their beliefs sound.

[akystaracer22]

Free the Bird from its Gilded Cage

Synopsis: Lucifer would tell anyone who asked his greatest regret was letting humanity eat the apple. Better than admitting what he really regretted.

Notes

Golly gee good thing affairs didn’t exist back then huh!

In which Lucifer’s tism hurts his best friend, the fic.

I think I can tag this as Edenpoly considering the conversation between Lucifer and Lilith.

I give my greatest thanks to my good friend Hat who uttered the phrase “I raise a glass to the friend you could have been and drink to the monster you became” (Or something of the sort) which has not left my brain 2 years later.

No shade on other people’s depictions of the ancient archangels. I love good archangels as much as you guys but… this is very much bashing.

I’m so sorry Michael. And Azrael, and every single angel who’s characters I butcher in this AU. It’s not you guys I swear.

God on the other hand fuck you I’m not sorry.

I have been told by many people irl that I have religious trauma. I didn’t think I did but fuck it we ball.

I am so sorry this came out late but I had two assignments and I'm moving houses, I'll try not to have a repeat.

Word count: 1957

Fic under cut!

Lucifer felt Lilith before he saw her, the first woman’s aura screaming frustration and hurt louder than the tears in her eyes.

She was sitting under an aspen tree with her legs tucked to her chest.

Lucifer didn’t need to guess why she was upset; it could really only be one thing these days.

“Adam did something again, didn’t he.”

Lilith huffed and lifted her head to meet Lucifer’s gaze, “We fought, again. He still doesn’t get it.”

Lucifer sighed and sat down next to the first woman, not for the first time the little voice in his head bemoaned Adams chronic inability to listen to anyone other than God. It was really starting to cause problems in Eden.

“He’ll regret it.”

“He always does, but he still does it.”

Lucifer nodded, “He needs to learn that God isn’t right about everything,” His siblings would murder him if they knew he was spreading this kind of blasphemy, “But I do agree, it’s a little irritating.”

“It is!” Lucifer jerked as Lilith stood up abruptly and began to pace, “He’s great most of the time don’t get me wrong, but he’s just increasingly growing more and more insufferable! It’s like every time he gets better he just goes straight back to being worse!”

“Truly the trials and tribulations of the first humans.”

“I just wish he would listen to me! Not some stuck up self-important know it all who thinks I’m worthless.”

Lucifer wisely held back the instinctive defence of the Creator, “Especially when you are so much more than that.”

Lilith seemed to finally run out of steam, falling back into Lucifer’s arms and holding him tightly, “I hate this… I hate him.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t… I hate the man God wants him to be.”

“I hate that man too,” Lucifer admitted, “I hate how he hurts everyone.”

Because it wasn’t just Lilith that was left hurting. Lucifer hated how he was losing track of the near silent breakdowns of Adam’s.

God created humanity different from the grand design, and every day Lucifer loathed that fact more and more.

“He’s going to win, that man.”

“Neither of us will let him.”

“He’ll let himself,” Lilith hissed right by his ear, the sound sending a shiver down Lucifer’s spine, by the choirs that felt good “Adams an idiot.”

“Yep!” Call Lucifer blasphemous, but he was so tempted to-

Lilith opened her mouth to say something, and Lucifer listened to the little voice in his head once again.

He caught her mouth with his own swiftly before pulling back, face flushing as he realised what he just did.

That was something only Adam and Lilith was supposed to do with each other.

Lilith blinked, taking time to process before giving her response, “Do that again.”

Lucifer didn’t need to be told twice.

The bark of the aspen tree was lit up by Lucifer’s wings as he pressed his lips to Lilith’s again.

And again.

And again.

Lucifer had never felt so good. He could see why Lilith and Adam like doing this. This felt so good.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

It was hours until Lucifer disentangled himself from Lilith, still not having quite recovered from the experience. Sadly, he could feel the mental tug attached to his halo signifying his siblings wanting an audience with him. The last thing he wanted was to have them come down and see him with Lilith.

The moment he returned to heaven however, he had the distinct feeling that he might have messed up regardless.

Michael was pacing and muttering angrily under his breath, sharp sounds grating Lucifer’s awareness. When the archangel saw Lucifer, his wings physically bristled as he lunged forward and grabbed the Morningstar by the robe.

“You are so very fortunate that God was already growing tired of Lilith’s rebellion!”

“What?”

“Michael,” Lucifer turned to see Azrael landing nearby, “I highly doubt Lucifer knows what he has done, as impulsive as he is.”

“What? What happened,” Lucifer demanded, mantling his wings to make himself look larger as he stared down the other archangels.

“You don’t know?”

“Know what!”

“God decided to give the first man a new wife,” Michaels words cut through Lucifer’s anger and left only shock, “Made from his rib.”

“… what?”

“Yes, I had to tear it out myself,” Michael huffed, Lucifer noticed the dried red still dusting the angels gloves, “Adam tried to flee.”

“…”

“What Michael means,” Azreal shot the other a look, “Is that Adam didn’t take the information well, and saw it fit to attempt avoiding the situation entirely.”

“He was awake?!” Lucifer screeched “By the choir what is wrong with you two?!”

“It was the Creator’s wishes, none of us knew it would bring pain,” Azrael sighed, “However, it would encourage not repeating the situation…”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Michael scoffed, “The Creator ensured Adam wouldn’t remember.”

“It would taint him.”

“It would motivate him.”

“What?”

“Our Creator has decided to take a more… hands on approach in ensuring the situation does not repeat itself,” Azrael looked uncomfortable, “Xe employed the use of divine power to keep Adam and Eve from straying from the grand design.”

Lucifer took a step back.

Michael opened his mouth to say something, but Lucifer couldn’t hear over the roar of nothing in his ears.

No.

Nononononono.

Lucifer ran.

He broke into a sprint before diving back down to Earth, landing on the soft grass of Eden he looked around desperately.

“Adam!”

“Yes?”

Lucifer turned around as Adam’s figure came into view from behind a tree, “Adam-”

His eyes were gold.

Lucifer stumbled back as he took in the first man’s appearance, Adam’s eyes were no longer the colour of earth. The familiar dark brown orbs that bore the gold of honey and of leaves in the sun were gone. In their place was the brilliant gold of divinity, of heaven, the same gold of the-

The chain attached to his wrist.

Lucifer lunged forward and grabbed his friends arm, pulling him forward and running a hand along the softly glowing cuff on Adams wrist.

It was definitely the Creator’s doing.

“Adam what have they done to you.”

“Ah, apologies, but have we met before?”

Lucifer’s golden ichor froze as he looked back up to meet that accursed golden gaze, “What?”

“It is just that… you seem familiar with me, but I do not recall ever having met you. I apologize.”

Lucifer stepped back from the first man, “What.”

“Were you present for my creation? That day was such a blur I hardly recall all those present.”

“Adam- Adam look at me,” Lucifer grabbed Adam by the shoulder, staring desperately into those too gold, too inhuman, too holy eyes “Adam. You are my best friend. You remember me don’t you?”

Adam’s eyes flickered for a moment, that familiar beautiful earth brown peeking through for a moment before being swamped by heavenly gold.

“You are an angel; how could I ever be friends with someone of a higher status such as you?”

Lucifer wanted to cry.

The Creator truly was cruel.

“Are you alright, sir?”

Lucifer couldn’t do this.

Lucifer shoved Adam away and ran like a coward, stumbling through the bushes and past trees as he ran away from the puppet wearing his best friends face.

He didn’t even talk like Adam.

The Creator just stripped his best friend of everything that made him… him.

Lucifer collapsed under a willow tree as he sobbed into his arms.

He didn’t move for a long time after that.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Lilith found him in the dim of night, her eyes sharp and he teeth bared in a rueful grimace even as she took him into his arms.

“We’re not letting them get away with this. Not this time.”

A hot flame of righteous anger sparked in Lucifer’s heart as he held onto Lilith. She was right, this crossed a line.

Lucifer wanted to rush in, to steal Adam away and find a way to break that chain.

Lilith told him to wait, to watch and observe as she would.

“Right now, heaven does not know about our rebellion, if we move too quickly we will both be destroyed.”

She was right, of course she was. Lucifer hated it though.

They had to watch Adam go through the motions of what his life used to be. The way he would no longer wander the garden without reason.

He wouldn’t play with the animals anymore or sit and relax under the sun.

Lucifer almost broke the trunk of a tree when he saw Adam tear out a plant Gabriel considered ‘too imperfect for the garden’ even though Lucifer knew that it was Adams favourite flower.

That flame of anger grew every time that damned shackle glowed and chained Adams will.

It took a little time to figure out, but if there was one thing Lucifer was sure would free Adam and Eve, it was the apples of knowledge.

They had to.

Lucifer and Lilith also watched Eve through everything. She seemed meek through the control of the Creator, but in the few moments the attention of heaven faded and the gold in her eyes let a little bit of reddish brown through, they got to know her.

She was gentle and sweet to the animals but there was a steel in her spine.

She was vibrant and wild as she chased the cheetah’s around the garden or buried her head in a grizzly bears side.

Lucifer grew to love her in a way. As little of her as he could see. But she was the one the Creator paid less attention to, and why would xe? She is supposed to be subservient to Adam.

Lucifer shifted into the form of a snake and curled through the branches of the tree of knowledge as she came into view.

Showtime.

“Eve my dear, may I borrow your attention for but a moment?” Lucifer sing-songed, drawing the girls eye as she stopped at the base of the tree.

“What is it you require of me, snake?” Eve asked, Lucifer watched intently as the telltale hint of red brown filtered into her gaze, this was the shot he needed.

“The fruit of this tree, could you tell me how it tastes to you?”

The woman flinched back as if struck, and Lucifer’s eyes narrowed at her response.

“I couldn’t, God said-”

“And have you not wondered why xe demands such things of you? Have you not questioned why xe forbade this?” Lucifer hissed, snapping off an apple and letting it fall to the ground at Eve’s feet, “I know, and that is why I ask this of you.”

Eve’s will fought with Heaven for a moment as she picked up the apple, but she was not gone yet, “God said that if I ate the fruit, I would die.”

“And the Creator lies to you,” blasphemy dripped off of Lucifers tongue as he all but snarled at Eve, the white-hot flame of fury envenoming his words, “To eat the apple is not to die, but to be freed. To have your eyes opened to the truth around you.”

Eve held the apple in her hands, the reddish brown in her eyes traitorously present.

“How do you know I won’t die?”

“Because my dear, I have had my eyes opened long ago. To open them is a freedom the Creator keeps from you on purpose,” Lucifer hissed, “You will not die, of that I can promise.”

Eve bit into the apple, and the chains snapped under the weight of knowledge granted.

[fadelbison]

Do it. Complain about CMBYN. I wanna know so bad.

I love how everytime I'm like "no, I don't want to be a gremlin" you guys see through my FLIMSY excuses. Here goes: The reaction I get to people who simply LOVE CMBYN is a little like if someone told me their favorite color was beige. I mean...that's certainly a color and it's a perfectly good color, necessary even at times in the context of a palette but ????? It's fine. That's kind of the problem. It's not even bad. When someone loves Sharknado it's like go live your life you funky little freak. But CMBYN? jailbait twink falls for the only fuckable man in his very rural vicinity...that's your favorite? are you absolutely sure? are you sure you're not just a fan of the Italian countryside???

And that's the other thing, every time I've probed anyone (which is only twice) with why they love CMBYN so much, it kind of boils down to how beautiful the Italian countryside is. And I agree. The Italian countryside *is* a beautiful backdrop to fall in love. So beautiful in fact that it's easy, to the point of commonplace. Simply, it's the idiot's setting of falling in love. I could fall in love with my mortal enemy in the Italian countryside. With Sufjan Steven's Mystery of Love playing in the background I could fall in love with a piece of rotting wood. Now *my* favorite movies are Moonlight and God's Own Country which as two character centric queer romance narratives fall more or less within the same genre as CMBYN but- i don't know it feels blasphemous to even compare them. Like I'm making fun of a three year old for trying to draw Starry Night. Anyhow, I read CMBYN was Khaotung's favorite movie (or book???) and immediately the share market prices DROPPED. Unfortunately, they were so high to begin with that he's still my bias though joong is making a valiant effort to overtake him. The only silver lining was thinking about how Khaotung definitely either made sure to see First's poop after reading CMBYN or he thinks about First's poop to this very day and wonders if he should ask to see it or if it's too weird.

[boizdocry]

Nnoitra headcanon and stuff?

*_*

I'm more the canon-compliant type and do not have big headcanon a part from few things.

1) I think Nnoitra is a very immediate kind of person. I read many hc and fics where he is super tormented behind his grim and sadistic facade... btw, I think he is rather matter-of-factly in his drives and decisions. He likes to win, he doesn't mind to cheat to gain the upper hand, he is arrogant but upfront. If you ever read von Clausewitz, he is that crystal clear, cruel and unapologetic kind of "upfront". The real desperation comes from accepting and embracing the nonsensical violence that comes with the strive for survival. I respect that in him.

2) I think he doesn't obsess that much about sex and speaks about it more than he actually practices it. Btw, he likes his sex torrid and dirty, and clearly revolving around dynamics of submission-control, exactly because he is fine with violence and brutality and accepts them as part of the game.

Also, dirty talker af, likes to see how much he can arouse his partner.

3) I have this idiotic hc that he is the only Espada capable of sexual reproduction, exactly because of the desperate self-assertiveness of his personality.

4) I don't think his mysoginy is real. Yammy Yargo's is. When he says Neliel and Tesla Lindocruz he detests women fighting, I think he is being tranchant and over-semplifying feelings he simply doesn't care to explore.

5) I think he truly detests two things about women: a) women can bring life in their womb. This is how much opposite to despair as you might think. b) Women generally get protected and their lovers tend to fight for them: this is despicable, in Nnoitra's view, as he doesn't accept or either stand the "optimistic" implication of love and protection. If you are bereaved of all hopes, you will likely despise and spurn anything people generally hope for or that gives them strenght to thrive.

6) I have this headcanon he is too thin and someone sooner or later will try to feed him, the granny "Are you eating enough, son?" kind of feeding, you know. I'm Italian, food is love, feeding is caring.

7) I think he is fine with his nudity, perhaps a bit of an exhibitionist, too.

8) Everything about him is big. Yes, that thing too.

9) He has a strong but not unpleasant scent, like... salty, you know, like wet seasand.

10) Seems like he would listen a lot of low-quality rap music and probably delve into trashy whatever.

11) He is the guy sending you pics of ghastly and/or offensive/blasphemous things just for the sake of ruining your day.

12) His car would be big, noisy and annoying, an old bull-barred Jeep or so.

13) I see him more like a cat person. Perhaps he could even show a decent behaviour to his pet.

14) Seems a rather unexpensive dude, not minding to have costy dresses or such.

15) Has a taste for bitter stuff like 99% cocoa.

16) Good with hands. Yeah, in that sense too but I meant more like fixing stuff, tinkering, ecc.

17) Cannot sing decently or even play ant instrument, but is an excellent dancer.

18) Loves kids toys, they fascinate him.

[thealmightyemprex]

The Emprex Goofs on Piano Man by Billy Joel

SO I love Piano Man by Billy Joel ,its great classic song....But if you listen to anything too much you cant help but poke fun at it .This is done from a place of love

Before I begin heres the song for if its been a while and you havent heard it at all

LIstened to it ? Good,lets begin

"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday The regular crowd shuffles in"

Which is odd cause it was Nine AM

"There's an old man sittin' next to me Makin' love to his tonic and gin"

I think you can get arrested for that ,also dont touch that glass

"He says, "Son can you play me a memory?"

BIlly:No I am a pianist !I can play songs.Thats like asking a baker to make you a pastry made out of dreams ands rainbows ...Idiot

I'm not really sure how it goes"

Billy:SO you want me to play a memory .....YOu dont remember

But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man's clothes"

Old Man:Course that younger man is currently buried in pieces around Nevada -

La, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum

Ah great Billys having a stroke again

"Sing us a song, you're the piano man Sing us a song tonight"

Billy:Ya know you dont have to be pushy

"Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got us feelin' alright"

Way better then taking anti depressents

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke But there's some place that he'd rather be

Ah,Wisconsin

He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me" As a smile ran away from his face

John :Yeah can you get this knife out of my back

"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star If I could get out of this place"

John:SAdly due to my pack with Satan ,my soul is tethered to this bar

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum

Billy I think you need to go to a doctor

Now Paul is a real estate novelist Who never had time for a wife

Did find time for a husband though

And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the navy And probably will be for life

.....You just wanted to rhyme Davey and Navy

And the waitress is practicing politics

Annnnnnnd insert your own joke here

As the businessmen slowly get stoned

Well he was a blasphemer

Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinkin' alone

No joke here thats just a good lyric

Sing us the song, you're the piano man Sing us a song tonight

BIllyQUIT BEING PUSHY

Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got us feelin' alright

Not great but alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday And the manager gives me a smile

Manager :

'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see

Yeah the drinks are basically tap water and food is barely edible but the tunes are nice

To forget about life for a while"

Course its due to the fact the piano is cursed

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival

WEll duh look at the co owner

And the microphone smells like a beer

Yeah sorry Billy,someone spilt a beer on it thing doesnt even work

And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar\

Billy :Id prefer money but Bread is nice

And say man what are you doin' here?

....Playing a piano ? Thats kind of his job

Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum

BILLY FOR GODS SAKE GO TO A DOCTOR

Sing us the song, you're the piano man Sing us a song tonight

Billy:WEll I am out of practice on my SOndheim but TOoooonigghht,tonight,it all began tonight-

Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got us feelin' alright

You are profoundly adequite

Well that was a bit of nonesense I have wanted to do for years

@ariel-seagull-wings @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @minimumheadroom @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @filmcityworld1

[holywaterinmybong]

Parasitic

—

Don’t say you love me

You know I’m just starving

Those carnal desires

Grow bit too alarming

A maniac kind of

Affection to live up

To, glass far too empty

That I know you’ll fill up

I’ll eat you up, babe

On my tongue you’re acidic

My lust is a drug that is so parasitic

You’re nothing to me

How I crave for the empty

The void in your chest

Will serve my hunger plenty

I want you

I need you

With my every breath

Not really in love

But far into the depth

Of your eyes

In the dark

That reflect back on me

Got me pretty fucked up

To a lethal degree

I want you

I need you

You’re the wine at communion

For you live fast, come quick

In our blasphemous union

Devour you slowly

Save the best to last

I have long stayed so hungry

Now I’m breaking my fast

Am I not your dream guy?

Are you into me, maybe

Projection’s a drug

That for me is too heavy

I want you so bad

Want your arms and your face

Want your back and your bones

Wanna know how you taste

Don’t say that you love me

Just say I am your favorite

From those bitches you fuck

Is it me that you savor it

With? Is it me

That you dream of at night?

Don’t say that you love me

You know I can bite

I don’t want to hurt

Feelings we could both hold

I just want you near me

When the night’s growing cold

You’re so beautiful, baby

But stay realistic

This lust is a force that is so parasitic

So watch out, don’t catch

Feeling where they aren’t needed

My heart beats so strong

And I know you can feel it

A rushed and unplanned

Idiotic decision

Don’t call me a nympho

Don’t bring up my religion

Don’t tell me you love me

Just protect your own soul

My lust can burn bright

Turn your world into coal

I don’t love you either

But baby, don’t worry

The night is still long

There’s no rush

There’s no hurry

[velvetwarfare]

BLASPHEMOUS. PREPOSTEROUS. UNBELIEVABLE.

IT TOOK EVERY PART OF HER NOT TO SHATTER HER SILENCE AND LUNGE AT THE ANGEL ON HELL’S TAINTED GROUNDS. The idea of ‘REDEMPTION’ itself was already stupid to Betty to begin with, simply entertaining Charlie’s motive just to play nice and not cause any UNNECESSARY CONFLICT WHILE REMAINING UNDERCOVER AS PART OF THE VEE’S. Sure, she’d preach about the optimism toward this operation once or twice to get a few hoots and chants, but like FUCK did Betty mean any of what she said.

HONEYED WORDS DREW POOR SINNERS IN LIKE MOTHS TO A LIGHT. SHE WOULD KNOW.

But to have a LITERAL ANGEL NOW INTERFERE WITH VOX’S PLANS? That wasn’t flying.

NONE OF THIS SHIT WAS FLYING.

—

“ I could deal with Charlie’s INFAMOUSLY IDIOTIC PLAN FOR REDEMPTION — but to have the likes of YOUR JUDGMENTAL, TWO-FACED FUCKING KIND SHOW THEIR UGLY FACES HERE IN HELL? “

Locking the door behind her, Betty GROWLED, dropping her illusion magic to reveal a face MORE ANIMALISTIC AND DISTORTED BODY THAN HUMANOID. SHARP CLAWS EXTEND, POINTING AT EMILY IN AN ACCUSATORY MANNER,

“ YOU ARE THE REASON I CANNOT FUCKING LIVE IN PEACE. AND NOW YOU ARE THE REASON MY KOMPANYA WILL DEAL WITH BIGGER HARDSHIPS.

QUIT THE ACT OF ‘LOVE FOR ALL’ AND ‘WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF GOD’ . YOU ANGELS ARE WORSE THAN HELL DWELLERS. YOU ARE THE REASON THE EXTERMINATIONS EXIST! “

Betty’s venom-ridden eyes did not hold the same SWIRLS THE OTHER HYPNOTIZED FOLK POSSESSED. She was ENTIRELY COHERENT.

@infernal-feminae

[feedingtheflockministry]

Anger, frustration, annoyance, bitterness, rage, jealousy, vindictiveness, are all feeling not producing the righteousness of God and when those feelings are present for a while they can all give a foothold for demons to start playing with our minds as the Word of God says:

When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].

Ephesians 4:26‭-‬27 amp

Unfortunately some believers do not take into consideration the severity of their actions led by those feelings, but they are very important to remember:

But I say to you that everyone who continues to be angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire.

Matthew 5:22 amp

The Word of God gives us many instructions on those kind of feelings

Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires].

James 1:19‭-‬20 amp

Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

Ephesians 4:31 ampc

But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips!

Colossians 3:8 ampc

But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God’s likeness! Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.

James 3:8‭-‬10 ampc

Judge not [neither pronouncing judgment nor subjecting to censure], and you will not be judged; do not condemn and pronounce guilty, and you will not be condemned and pronounced guilty; acquit and forgive and release (give up resentment, let it drop), and you will be acquitted and forgiven and released.

Luke 6:37 ampc

The Word of God also provides us with wonderful prayers to deal with our shortcomings

Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.

Psalm 141:3 ampc

Yet, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of Your hand.

Isaiah 64:8 amp

Every day I ask our Lord Jesus to set a guard over upon my mouth and to keep watch at the doctor of my lips because as we are all battling with our flesh and our desire to please God it is so easy to slip in certain circumstances, especially when other people are saying hurtful things to us! The second prayer is the most important prayer for our relationship with God, and it works not only with feelings not producing the righteousness of God but it is for God to transform us into the person He wants us to be. We are all clay into the hands of God, and He is the Potter and He is the only one who can transform us from the inside out. As we pray for Him to transform us we will start reacting the way He wants us to react, situations that would ordinarily create in us negative feelings will stop affecting us badly. If we truly desire to do His will this prayer will be the one prayer we cherish the most. If we claim to love God but never change in any godly way we have a severe problem in our spiritual life. Changing according to His will requires total depandace on Him and and the will to please Him above all things. The change is rarely instantaneous but we all have to start somewhere. Blessings!!!

[collymore]

Blatantly and self-evidently human trash very distinctly infesting, what is a modern 21st Century!

By Stanley Collymore  

Abolish the British monarchy? Have   you taken leave of your senses   those of you who're saying   and fittingly very obviously advocating   such a treasonous, and blasphemous thing? Aren't you naturally aware that   our truly supreme Kings and Queens   are specifically, obviously appointed   discernibly through the divine grace   and undeniably too, the authority of   God Almighty, crucially even before   they're conceived, and undoubtedly   subsequently born to rightly be the   fittingly undisputed monarch really   of this, our great realm, discernibly   well known across the universe as   Great Britain, and quite likewise of   which the suitably incumbent king   or queen is similarly also the aptly   entrusted very obviously by Divine   ordinance to quite unquestionably   be Head of the Church of England.

So I caution you all to really watch   your manners and to similarly   too, say that you're joking;   you and all those other rather obviously likeminded people out there, relative to what God has clearly very beneficently given us in terms of a naturally Divine monarchy! However in case, and very   speculatively mind, there was simply   such a thing, as a natural alternative,   to our evidently cherished monarchy   what would your really disrespectful   sort literally have us really replace it   with? Allegedly, genuine democracy,   equality of opportunity and similarly   also, this thing, you call Meritocracy,   where patently obviously our actual   divine rulers and equally the lowest   commoner in our kingdom become   societally, very distinctly the same?

Such an infernal travesty and one   clearly against the wishes and   edict of the Almighty would   surely never work! But rather evidently   you, and those who're quite obviously   of the exact same disposition simply   think differently, don't you? Honestly,     I do! For the actual, and significantly   unbridled truth is, that continuously,   on an unquestionably and distinctly   markedly, undoubtedly increasingly   time frame; crucially very pertinent   numbers of distinctly unequivocally   rapid and decreasing numbers too   of those living in Britain along with   their overseas, odiously genocidal   kin sheep effectively still infesting   those countries that they've really,   naturally barbarously acquired for   themselves, actually like Australia,   New Zealand, Canada and simply   even the USA, which ironically for   its part, rather effectively rid itself   of your British Monarchy in 1776,   are truly having second thoughts.

Nevertheless, significant numbers   of them are so intrinsically and   evidently rather abominably   infected with this absolutely abhorrent,   very feudal and distinctly Middle Ages   approach to life which is so obviously   rather deeply entrenched, in their vile   and sick psyche that literally, like the   typical, Stockholm Syndrome victim   which they themselves quite clearly   and irrefutably, surely self-evidently   are; plainly very discernibly hooked   by their manifestly, devotional love,   of what is undeniably, a thoroughly   naked fallacy odiously perpetrated   by a simply expensive and actually   immoral bunch of toffs which they   rather idiotically hero worship and   truth be told obviously realistically   wouldn't have them any other way   than what they've always crucially   and cunningly, simply customarily   and literally portrayed themselves   to be. One now evidently gets the   unmistakeably quite encouraging   impression that simply, and really   undeniably too, even such clearly   and psychologically, quite deeply   embedded, monarchical fawning   morons as this lot are effectively, distinctly susceptible, to change!

(C) Stanley V. Collymore   6 January 2024.

Author's Remarks:   Obviously there's no human cure for the kind of distinctly, rather evilly enhanced stupidity, that's evidently really gleefully exhibited by these thoroughly noxiously and discernibly, undeniably egregiously and similarly too malevolently disposed feudal mind-set in the 21st Century, of a surfeit of sycophants, unequivocally so, brownnosing to an equally distinctively out of touch, so Middle Ages in outlook, unelected, and a wholly unaccountable, incestuously inbred, disgustingly rather wealthy, through no industrious efforts of their own, discernibly privileged and similarly self-entitled with that obvious recognition of their own, who obviously deem themselves to be so undoubtedly superior to everyone else, and crucially as well as most ironically those that so asininely, unthinkingly and instinctively essentially automatically, and similarly quite gullibly, hero worship them!

But while humans might be unwilling to or even incapable of effectively dealing with this essentially toxically verminous problem; Nature as it as most obviously has done in the past, with even thornier problems, certainly has the answer for this one; and I've no doubt will act in its own good time!  

[castle-dominion]

5x6 the final frontier

I remember this episode, I am a castle fan from firefly & I loved this episode & the audio commentary & everything about it

We all thought that the guy who got shot was shot with a real thing

derrick storm is a graphic novel, I forgot!

supernovacon? Shiny dsjflksdjfjskh shiny pint sized princess leiea <3

apparently the costume design used some of the old stuff, including stuff from the zombie episodes

14 episodes too many? Oh I was going to watch battlestar galactica that joss whedon show?

JE: Give me Blade Runner - a bleak, dystopian future with sexy replicants. Right? *he & castle bump fists* JE: How about you, Beckett? What do you—?... *stops at her annoyed expression*

RC: Perlmutter, good to see you. SP: Ah, if only the feeling were mutual. a tiny hole? like a bullet hole? SP: No clue

Not all nebula 9 fans will be on that site also ryan pretty af as usual so no need for a pic ig she is so obviously a fan, she could just say "oh plenty of fandoms have websites, I'm sure there is one for neb9"

lol her face when he walks in KR: Oh, I tried to talk to him, but he said he needed a minute to “Muse upon the fragile nature of human life.”

& may fortune guide her journey? really? also that booty tho I love how castle has the chance to meet someone even more egotistical than him

Never meet your heroes

Aww webisodes, that's cute af! I'm a big fan of fanfiction you're allowed to like a show even if it is bad who is this man!? also she went by k-becks? your WHAT NOW? Henry Barnett: You should've seen her as Lieutenant Chloe. Oh, wait. You can! fracking, I heard that mostly in battlestar galactica

RC: Look at my life. (whisper) My dreams come true.

KB: Perlmutter. SP: Detective Beckett. RC: Perlmutter. SP: And non-detective Castle.

that is a hell of a burn SP: Well, as much as it pains me, Mr. Castle is… [marginally or largely] correct.

KB: How is it possible that she's killed by a laser? RC: Easy. Someone shot her with a laser gun. Or maybe she was already dead when she was killed by the laser gun, or she was drugged, I'm sure you would have to sit there for at least a halfminute to burn through that much flesh

KB: Nice one coming from the guy with a life-size Boba Fett in his bathroom. a WHAT

"blasphemous" lmao

KB: posessing a... RC: Laser blaster! KB: ....... laser blaster

this scene with ryan showing the pic on his phone was filmed at 4am bc they screwed up the schedule JE: First of all, ma'am, I must ask you, uh…how are you keeping those leaves on there like that? NEBULA NINE EVE: Why don't you pull on one and find out? JE: *staring at her (eyes)*

Maybe you can't translate well but you can say yes or no... right?

*writes her number on her boob leaf* *esposito looks more uncomfortable than pleased tbh* *she took his pen* (probably glued on)

"obvi" teenager english lol

Castle shut up lol

also I'm still stuck on the fact that they just pulled castle away from his signing

ew weird bug thingy what

Becks u can say "according to my intel" u literally said it launched your career tho?

Nikki heat type pose

Drunk? in the middle of the day? two lieutenant chloes lmao I don't like espt's shirt.

oh my god!!! ALEXIS??? Dressed like what castle? she is not dressed at all apparently the cast was all weirded out bc they kind of movie-raised her since she was a teen you know what good for her she is allowed to do what she wants ig...

Yo cops they paid good money for this!

RC: Then you wouldn't mind relinquishing your weapon. good word gabriel winters is so annoying *shoots it* *it works, & works way too well & tbh they should have been wearing eye protection* mUZZLE CONTROL "Zap" said the lady

As you wish <3 NO SHE IS NOT A FULL GROWN WOMAN, SHE IS A VERY YOUNG WOMAN, plus, you two wanted it in the privacy of your own home!

"what kind of idiot does that" *looks at him* how bad can it be? "burning" desire XP

ryan pretty he so pretty always love his outfits, i love how he has a vest but no tie

KR: This is like the Halloween from hell. JE: Oh, yeah, this is probably too lowbrow for you, huh? You're probably into that boring-ass intellectual kind of sci-fi, like Gattaca ((loved that one)) or 2001. The monolith-- what the hell was that? KR: Don't ask me. No, no, swords and sorcery, that's more my thing, like, uh, Lord of the Rings. ((Ooh ryan is a fantasy guy)) [Esposito looks Ryan over. not gay at all] JE: Yeah, I could probably see you as an elf. Or a hobbit. ((bro you are not much taller!)) KR: HOLD ON THAT WAS THE LONE RANGER Esposito is a fan? he could use the excuse that he did some research for the case ryan doesn't make fun of YOU!

*authorized personnel only door in portal* "that means me!" oH NO ARE THOSE LASERS EVIL?

love donnely. apparently his shirt caused a ton of fighting on set & yet it is capable of great damage? Why did you make it harmful then? You could have made it so it feels warm when you get shot, maybe even hot, but this thing is deadly!

What kind of protection? Probably goggles Hm, license plates Castle, bringing the convo back to needing protection

*cut to castle still being concerned & feeling his face* *beckett talking abt the symbolism* ofc he'd be concerned abt his hair

alexis XD.

S name! esposito seems like he may have a nice outfit but I can't tell

*The elevator opens in front of them with a ding and Castle is there, looking anxious* RC: Hey. Tell me, you guys, do you think my hair is thinning?

*espt looking at his head with a grimace* *castle flinches* he's just playing with him Also why did castle not go wit hthem> isn't he supposed to be shadowin gbeckett?

surprised they are not doing a b plot parallel here

I really want to go to a masquerade ball doing a movie or reboot WITH YOU or what?

sort of? Ah masks

lots of money holy crap idrk if I like ryan's outfit today. It is nice & all but... yk I don't much like those stripes & smth is awkward abt it

yk what valid but her voice is so small

lol castle pretending to be capt max ew, still a crime scene it WAS a stupid show but it was still enjoyable! alexis leaving home! Oh feminism. Good for her.

What was that buzz sound tho?

I like beckett's jacket I also like how max has never NOT worn his outfit

"I need you to resist a little less" "overacting much?"

Ah the mark of cain

They could have just got like,, a handheld uv flishlight

Why didn't he want to show his left hand? was he afraid he had smth else on his hand? phone numbers? bodily fluids?

Except wouldn't he have gotten The Talk about protection "I'm captain max!" He's so proud of that hole in the wall lol there just so happens to be a UV thing there? & then there were detectives behind the door? dang she is insane WOAH HE JUST DID THAT is ther a functional stun setting tho? the two egomaniacs I love it

*tries telekenesis* bribery lol Ooh a nebula nine marathon aw come on as long as it is light hearted youo should totally make fun

*castle trying to close the elevator doors faster*

Fun music, sexy legs, then THAT face & he falls off the bed KB, with a bloody creaver mouth & mask: You want to make out, Castle? Rawr.

So wait if there was a ship is it real?

I was a firefly fan so I mostly only got the firefly references but there were a lot of other scifi members on the crew or smth so they made a bunch of references to their stuff too.

I highly suggest watching the audio commentary. Super fun.

[daughters-of-liberty]

I'm kind of new to the whole Catholicism thing myself, and Christianity in general, but I think shades of it could be made sense of if you look back at Abraham and Isaac, and how Abraham would've sacrificed his only living son, that he loved very dearly, for God. In much the same way, God sacrificed his only son for us. For our salvation.

One point I will say, is that I have heard children's dislike of ministry that won't answer complex questions, in any denomination. And granted, children like having definite answers, which becomes an issue when there really is no surefire set in stone answer to anything in life, even less so in theology. So I have to agree with @greater-than-the-sword, here; asking questions is not blasphemous. Any church or any religious school that makes it feel that way doesn't have the best interests of the parish/students at heart.

And the other thing about kids is that, they don't need a whole, concrete answer. It's good for children to have open-ended answers, it teaches them to go searching for answers on their own. In my experience, both as a former child and helping take care of children throughout my life, is that children who search for answers on their own are more likely to dive headfirst into the research, maybe not even finding the answer directly, but gaining something that helps them make sense of the questions that have no concrete answers.

In contrast, kids are usually pretty good at telling when someone is lying to them to just pacify them. So imagine if you ask a question, and someone responds with an answer that doesn't make sense, or is even threatening to a degree (i.e. a religious teacher insinuating it is blasphemous to question parts of the Bible, or the logic of God), or isnt even an answer at all. How would you respond to that? I'd probably think they were trying to hide something, or that they didn't know what the hell they claimed to be so knowledgeable about.

In short, it sows distrust among the students. And when the students don't trust the teacher to know what they're talking about, they flippantly start to believe said teacher is an idiot. And if the teacher is an idiot, than the school that employs them is a idiotic, and the whole system is a farce. Apply this to a religious school, and this transcends the school, the school district, and the board of education, and becomes a distrust of the church and governing bodies of the church themselves, again, regardless of denomination.

My mother attended a Methodist Sunday school, and was treated much the same way; she has struggled to find faith—any kind of faith—her whole life, and has wandered many difficult paths throughout, many of her own making. By contrast, my father asked the hard questions of his Lutheran mother, and she gave the best answers she could, without proclaiming him to be blasphemous for merely asking questions; he is confident in his view of God and Jesus, and content in his life and his purpose in life.

So don't be afraid to ask questions, and ask the same question of multiple people, even within the same denomination. What a volunteer who helps teach Sunday school says may not be what the pastor/priest says, which may not be what the church doctrine says, which may not be what the Bible says! And meanwhile, someone who doesn't know much, but attends church every Sunday or at least has read the Bible, might be more true to the Word than the holier-than-thou types who proclaim to be damn near liturgical scholars. It really depends on a lot of factors.

Thinking about how it was never made clear to me in Catholic school exactly WHY Jesus died for our sins. I just remembered that I was literally never clear on who the dying helped??

I've heard theories as an adult, but basically what I'm saying is pointless martyrdom seems a little pointless, and also with enough propaganda the big logical gaps in a belief system get really hard to see. Especially if questioning anything is blasphemy.

I would have gotten in so much trouble for insisting the teacher explain how Jesus helped us by being tortured to death by Romans even when God could have prevented it! God sent his only Son, they would have said! Be grateful, they'd say! Be guilty! Stop asking why he did that!!!

[safespacespence]

cupid anonymous

[summary] garcia sets up an anonymous valentine’s matching site for fbi agents, and you think it’s the perfect opportunity to get over your work crush, spencer reid. [pairing] spencer reid + bau gn!reader [warnings] none [category] fluff (romcom like), idiots to lovers (ish) [word count] 2.3k

[a/n] this is the first time i’m doing something more dialogue heavy than description, which is interesting to me. i did have to kind of push myself to finish this, so maybe i’m still deciding if i like it all that much. shoutout to my forever beta, jay <3 anyways, anon reveal is at the bottom :)) icon in moodboard from @lilacprentiss masterlist

you stared penelope down as she looked at you with wide, longing eyes. “pleaaaase?” she begged. “pen, seriously, i love the idea but i really can’t with online dating.” “it IS NOT ONLINE DATING!” she sounded offended. “it is a beautifully crafted algorithm to pair you up with a fellow fbi agent who is similar to you!” “sorry, it’s online dating for fbi agents.” you sarcastically offered. jj chuckled, chiming in. “is this even allowed? this doesn’t feel allowed.” emily got giddy. “who cares if it’s allowed, WE CAN FIND A BOYFRIEND FOR-” “-or girlfriend.” you rolled your eyes. “oR GIRLFRIEND!” emily corrected herself.

you smiled and crossed your arms. “look, girls, thank you for your concern, but my love life is perfectly fine without an algorithm-” “sure! like you’re not secretly pining over reid..” jj bickered. emily and penelope’s jaws dropped, their eyes widening, looking at jj. “i’m kidding, i’m kidding!!” she snickered.

you cleared your throat. “two things. one, i am not pining over reid, and two, i’ll think about doing the algorithm thing. happy?”

both were the truth. okay, maybe not completely the truth, but close enough to it.

spencer was your best friend. as soon as you two met, there was an undeniable energy in between you two—spencer felt it, you felt it, everyone in the bau felt it. you’d play chess on the jet, trade books and annotate, and have coffee marathons to see who could do the most paperwork overnight. so when you’d catch his head drooping asleep unto your shoulder, or find his eyes lighting up at the sight of you, you couldn’t help but fall a little bit every day.

but, you had watched him fall, find dates, fail, and try again, over and over. he went to you for all of his troubles, and you helped him navigate the murky waters of the female gender. so, it seemed like you two were strictly friends, and after months of pining, maybe it was time to move on.

maybe the algorithm was your ticket out.

you returned to garcia that same day with an exasperated face, hiding your slight excitement. it’s been a while since you’ve gotten out there. as you entered the room, emily, jj, morgan, and spencer were huddled around penelope, their backs completely turned towards you. “do i want to ask what’s going on?”

you watched as five heads turned to face you, each with a different expression painted. emily was stifling laughter, jj had both eyebrows raised, morgan’s were furrowed, penelope with shock and excitement, and to contrast completely, spencer looked so nervous. his hands were tucked into each other, his fingers fiddling with his palm, and he involuntarily bit down on his jaw.

“oh, don’t tell me you’re doing it too.” morgan poked. “too? don’t tell me you don’t have a date on valentine’s, morgan. how blasphemous! curse cupid!” the sarcasm in your voice spilled out. “har har, not me.” morgan replied, eyes darting at spencer. “i just wanted to try it out-” spencer defensively started rubbing the back of his head.

“okay, well, reid is all done, so all of you shoo! we’re doing this privately.” penelope beckoned to the small crowd. “fine.” they all murmured. they filed out the door, spencer taking a lasting glance at you. “alright, my sweet! let me tell you how this works.” she offered you a seat next to her, as she typed a few new lines of code into her system. “so it’ll match you with someone anonymously based on the algorithm. you’ll get your match a week before valentine’s, and you can get to know each other then. AND AND! you two can plan a little date for the fourteenth!! sounds fun, huh?” “what if i don’t like my match?” you crossed your arms. “then you don’t need to plan a date! it’s the joy of anonymity, sweetheart.” “alright, alright. so, what do i need to do?” “just a few questions to go through.”

penelope guided you through the questions that she clearly wrote herself. they went from preference and sexuality, to which cat is cuter. she typed in lines of code after you answered each question, sometimes not even needing to look at her monitor. “alright, last question, are you using this to get over spencer reid?” you choked on your coffee. “excUSE ME?” “answer the question. are you using this to get over spencer reid?” “penelope i know that isn’t something in your algorithm-” “ANSWER!” “YES, YES, MAYBE I AM! SO WHAT!?” “nothing, i just wanted to know.” she slyly smiled, typing a few last lines into the code. “alright, you’re good to go! you should get an email to the platform when you get your match.”

ding! you took a look at the notification—an email with a clear banner. “CUPID ANONYMOUS.” your eyes darted to spencer, whose eyes were already on you. he held in laughter, not wanting to wake up the sleeping morgan next to him. you tilted your head, notioning to spencer to come over next to you. he quietly tiptoed to you, and as he finally sat down, you peered over to his phone. “nuh uh, no peeking.” he said. “oh come on, why not!” you pouted. “because i absolutely know you will be judging my flirting skills-” “SPENCER I PROMISE I WON’T JUDGE-” “NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU’RE ALWAYS SO MEAN.” “spence, if you say some stupid crap like ‘how did it feel when you fell from heaven’ i will actually smack you.”

spencer started pressing the delete button frantically.

“there goes my opening line-” “DO YOU NOT KNOW ANY OTHER PICK UP LINES?” “NO?? THAT’S THE ONLY ONE YOU TAUGHT ME-” you sighed, exasperated. “spencer, i can’t keep coaching you with your love life. time to take off the training wheels, loverboy.” “fine. tell me about your match.” “no, you aren’t telling me about yours, so i won’t tell you about mine. it’s only fair.” “tell me if you end up falling for them at least?” he raised an eyebrow, and your heart skipped a beat, but you pushed the thought aside. “and you too.” you rolled your eyes.

seven days. seven days to establish a connection with a complete stranger. seven days to, by some miracle, fall in love with a complete stranger. no pressure.

over the week, you would find yourself worried to say the wrong thing to your anon. messaging back and forth was nerve-wracking. you didn’t want to reveal too much about yourself, and you didn’t want to say the wrong thing to turn him around. you messaged when you could, in between cases, normally on the jet, small snippets to get to know each other. he was overwhelmingly sweet, and patient. you asked important questions, like what his favorite form of potato was. and he would ask you what your favorite sound, sight, and smell was. he was too poetic, like he had jumped out of a romantic drama. he didn’t feel real. but if he was, he was perfection.

but you didn’t need perfection.

when the sun started to set on the jet, the golden rays lit the interiors up, and in its most beautiful time, your eyes gravitated toward spencer. as the light filtered through his wispy curls, you fixated on his smile. you’d watch as his lips would turn up a slight bit, and he’d hide his smile from morgan, who would pester him with questions on his anon. on the off chance he’d look up, he’d catch your eyes and smile. but it wouldn’t be too long until he looked back down, curling up around his phone. the whole point of cupid anonymous was for you to get over him. but you found your eyes trailing to him, wanting to know what his anon had that you didn’t. you’d look out the window to distract yourself, but the vibration of your phone would snap you out of it.

you had to cut your anon some slack. he was persistent in trying to figure out who you were—he’d try to find out what department you were in, and you would be as cryptic as he was. but your replies became drained as you kept looking at spencer. there was an added glow about him, the way his shoulders were relaxed, and his thoughts didn’t seem so cloudy. he was simply enjoying himself. for once, he didn’t look like he was overthinking his every move.

you couldn’t help but be a little happy for him.

it was about time he found someone who would put in the same energy and effort into a relationship that he always did.

your voice broke the bubble he was in. “spencer?” he looked up quickly, his face a mix of concern and confusion as you pulled him out of his trance. “what’s up?” “mind if we chat?” you asked. he pocketed his phone almost immediately—a sign you were still his priority. he walked to you, a shy smile on his face. he didn’t know what to expect, as your tone was uncertain.

when he settled next to you, your breathing hitched. he was so wonderfully yours. your best friend, your reid. the warm glow lit his cheekbones, making them more prominent than they already were. the dark circles under his eyes seemed to have disappeared over the past few days. and an ever-present smile was painted on his face. and as you were noticing his features up close, you failed to see him inspecting yours. he saw how your face crinkled up and relaxed as your mind debated talking to him about everything.

you didn’t want to lead your anon on. because clearly, you were still pining after spencer. there was no point in denying that.

“how’s your anon?” he asked, tilting his head. you forced a close-lipped smile. “good. good. he’s really nice. you?” you bit the inside of your cheek as you braced yourself for his response. he chuckled. “perfect. remind me to thank garcia for all of this.” he didn’t even sound like himself. the anon effect, you coined in your head.

he noticed you went quiet after what he said, and you didn’t notice his hand inch towards yours. “what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice treading carefully. you retracted your hand as his fingertips grazed it. “n-nothing. i’m all good.” “stop it. i know when something’s on your mind. your face speaks volumes.” he said. you sighed. “spence, i’m fine. really.”

that didn’t reassure him at all, but he knew there was no point in pushing you. “just-just know i’m right here, okay? you know you can tell me anything.” you smiled a little bit. “i know, thanks spence.”

he positioned his shoulder to be within your neck’s reach, offering you the usual sleeping position you had. it had been a while. as you slowly laid your head on his shoulder, the tension in both of your bodies dissipated, comfortable in the familiarity of one another.

“are you asking your anon out?” he quietly said.

you thought about how your head rested on his shoulder. an action that you had done many times before. that was all he was ever going to be. a friend. your best friend.

you sighed. “yeah, i think i will.”

you messaged your anon. ‘care to meet me? check my profile.’

your heart raced a little as you sent the not-so-cryptic message. there was no turning back now. if he wanted to meet you, then he would—not without a little bit of a challenge, of course.

“plans for tonight?” jj asked the group. it had been a quick consult in new york, and everyone was looking forward to spending the evening of the fourteenth with their loved ones. “sergio and i, a bottle of wine, and a horror movie.” emily said passively. “top secret.” morgan hid. rossi chuckled. “pasta. and whiskey.” “midnight baking with jack and beth. new traditions.” hotch held in his smile. “somehow found a sitter for the night, so will and i are off to get dinner.” jj grinned.

the jet turned quiet as you and spencer were the only ones without a response. “meeting my anon.” you both said harmoniously. the team exchanged looks, unsurprised at your synced responses.

you sat at the edge of your desk, tapping your foot against the floor. was the message too hidden for him to find you? there wasn’t a profile for him to check, so the evident answer would be to check where profilers were. he was in the fbi, so he’d be able to decipher that, right?

the dark of the office was illuminated by the constant checking of your phone. he hadn’t sent you any messages recently, so it wasn’t like he was lost. and then you heard the elevators whoosh open. your best friend walked through, his eyes scanning the dark bullpen. “spence, what are you doing here?” he looked just as shocked to see you. “meeting my anon what about you-?”

your brain stopped turning its cogs. “you? you’re fucking with me, right?” spencer laughed and shook his head. “should have known, honestly, i don’t think i could click with someone as easily as i ever have with you.” he smiled. “how do we know garcia didn’t just fake the algorithm as an excuse to get us together?”

you were still processing. “guess we’ll never know.”

he raised an eyebrow. “disappointed?”

you relaxed a little. “with you? i could never.”

he extended his hand out. “date still on then?”

you smirked, clicking the puzzle pieces together in your head. you weren’t going to deny a date from your anon, and you definitely weren’t going to deny a date from spencer. “absolutely.”

you pocketed your phone and took his hand, the worries of everything going away with his touch.

the joys of anonymity, you thought to yourself.

well, here we are. after an hour or so of chasing my mystery valentine back and forth on anon and dash, i found him :) and surprise, i was the valentine anon he was looking for too. sorry to yall who had to witness that on the dash. anyways, hi cj :)) to our stupid romcom-like thing that happened. *big cheeky grin*

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[mywitchcultblr]

Coryphaeus x Inquisitor. Winners takes all. NSFW. Proceed with caution

Throne sex, fingering, public sex. Trans!Inky

Alternative universe where Francois (rebel mage Inquisitor was taken to Kirkwall circle when he was 15 and then YEARS LATER when he's 24 he accidentally freed Coryphaeus when he was on the run from templars. The chantry's brutality backfired on them as Coryphaeus won the war )

"Daddy, would you fuck me in front of those clerics? On the sunburst throne? I want them to watch as I cum on their precious stupid chair. Please please please."

The mage begged, white eyelashes fluttered and fair cheeks burned with desire.

Francois's desire knew no bounds, sometimes, even Sethius couldn't keep up with him.

Poor thing, he desperately needed carnal pleasure and any other hedonistic self indulgence to keep away those dark, disturbing memories from destroying his fragile mind.

Nine years of suffering in Kirkwall circle would be enough to drive anyone into the brink of insanity and self destruction. It was only Francois's unbroken will to free the mages and many other people that kept him going.

Such willpower and and passion... Tempting.

Coryphaeus smirked a bit, eyes scanned the room. Several grand clerics and sisters were huddled together on the floor with chains and shackles binding them to the pillars,watching him and Francois with a horrified expression

Their fear and despair were delectable, the sweet taste of victory. The atmosphere was so thick with fright and emotional turmoil, choking him and touching his soul. Coryphaeus threw his head back a bit, groaning in pleasure.

Oh... How he loved to feed on those pathetic mortal's distress. Coryphaeus climbed the stairs and sat upon the cracked and broken sunburst throne, then patted his lap. "Come here."

Francois grinned, blue eyes glistened with manic joy as he rushed towards the man who had saved his life from Alrik and the templars. He sat on Coryphaeus's lap, dangling his legs like an overly excited child waiting for a sweet treat. Indeed, a sweet treat he shall have soon...

Coryphaeus untied the silk sash around Francois's waist, ripped apart the belt and then told the younger human to take off his trousers which Francois was more than happy to do, exposing his private area for all of the defeated chantry people to see. Francois chuckled at the Horror... Disgust and lust that crossed the faces of his enemies, his former slavers.

The rebel mage raised an eyebrow.

"What? None of you have ever seen a cunt before? I thought clerics love to diddling young mages without their consent because we are 'worthless maleficar' right? Especially you Abenth and Sister Gertrude. Oh... Don't cry it's too late to feel any kind of shame."

A former knight-commander from Ferelden spat on the marble floor, his half burned and bruised face contorted in rage.

"You are a monster, disgusting! I should have killed you when I had the chance!"

Francois threw his head back, laughing while leaning against Coryphaeus who was as equally umused by this morbid situation.

"Oh! You should have tried harder! Our last fight was terribly boring." Francois spread his legs apart, exposing his entrance which dripping with desire. Beads of clear fluid leaking from the throbbing folds, begging for stimulation.

The knight-commander tore his gaze away, unable to bear witness to this senseless voyeuristic and blasphemous display anymore.

"How could you? I thought you were on our side."

Now, it was Francois who blistered with rage. He leaned forward a bit, ready to pounce end the former templar in front of him but Coryphaeus grabbed his arms and pulled him back. "ON YOUR SIGHT?! AS IF TEMPLAR DOGS LIKE YOU AND THE FUCKING CHANTRY ARE EVER ON THE MAGES AND OTHER PEOPLE SIDE'S! YOU ARE AN IDIOT FOR TRUSTING ME SO EASILY! IF YOU WANTED TO BLAME ANYONE FOR WHAT HAPPENED, YOU SHOULD BLAME THE CHANTRY! NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

The Elder One rolled his eyes, he adored Francois's fury and passion but it wasn't the time for yet another storm of rage and shouting, they were supposed to enjoy this sweet sweet victory after nearly a year of war.

Coryphaeus slid a finger into Francois's vaginal canal, rubbing the sensitive flesh in a slow circular motion which made Francois gasped and bucked his hips. The Elder One pressed his thumb on the clitoris and Francois cried out as loud as he could as he arched his flexible body, eyes rolled back in pleasure. "S-Sethius!"

"I thought you wanted to desecrate this throne."

"Y-Yes! OH YES YES! LET ME RUIN THIS STUPID PIECE OF JUNK! I WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT THE CHANTRY AND THE MAKER! OH! HARDER!"

The former magister smirked before he bit into Francois's neck while his finger continued to rubbing and flicking his lover's clitoris. The younger mage panted, milky-white thighs trembling, barely able to support himself anymore. His vaginal muscle spasmed as he clenched around Corypheus's long finger.

"Pathetic, one finger in and you are already acting like a beast in rut."

"Oh! Darling! Darling! I-I mean it's yours! It's you who are doing it to me! In public nonetheless! Can't you even blame me for lacking in control?"

Coryphaeus grunted, the corner of his deformed lips twitched into a thin smile.

The former magister plunged his finger deeper into Francois's entrance, exploring it's depth and rubbing the soft flesh as if there was no tomorrow. "Squirt for me. Do it."

Francois was barely coherent, the thrill and joy from subjugating Orlais was still raging within his heart and now he and Sethius were desecrating the symbol of Andrastianian religion. Two 'maleficar' ruined the sunburst throne with sexual fluid and blight reduction

It sent him into a frenzy of pleasure and unbearable joy! It was better than when he decapitated Gaspard's head and cut Justinia in half! Francois tweaked his own hard nipples, pinching and pulling on them as Sethius continue to rub his vaginal walls, the rebel mage cried out, louder than ever as a large amount of clear liquid squirted out of his entrance, dripping into the broken throne.

@imavillainsimp

[insomnaticwriter]

Sara and Wille pranking Simon

Oooooo okay!!

Sara and Wille have been getting closer lately, Simon thought it was cute at first, his boy friend and sister getting along! It’s a dream come true.

That was until they wouldn’t stop messing with him. In started off in little fights, Him and Sara would be fighting and Wille would side with Sara! Blasphemous. In class Sara and Wille would always talk, leaving Simon to the side.

At first Wille thought that Sara hated him, but actually she honestly didn’t really have an opinion. Once she heard that he used to ride, she was all over him. Asking him questions, what kind of horse did he ride, did the horse have a name, how much did he do it?

Simon was getting annoyed. When Wille would come over, they would be in his room, playing video games, or studying, usually making out but who’s business is that. Certainly not Sara when she burst in one day, interrupting a very productive study date. They had gotten a whole question done. Wille didn’t even seem upset when she burst in, like his sister walking in on them on his bed wasn’t a big deal.

They talked in private too.

“So when should we do it?”

“As soon as possible. What about tonight.”

“Perfect.”

When Simon walked in on them talking it wasn’t an unusual occurrence but this seemed strange, they both jumped when he walked in.

“What are you guys talking about.” He looked at both of them. Sara looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Nothing, we were talking about going riding tonight.”

“The stables shut down in an hour, will you have time to go?”

“Yeah, I think we will be fine.“ Sara responds.

Wille and Sara both let out a giggles. Stifling their laughs.

Simon walked back to his room, shutting the door and turning on his music, leaving Wille and Sara alone to their own devices.

Sara pulled out a glass of what looked to be water, and Wille pulled a box of attachable sticky fake bugs out of his school bag.

“Ready?“

“You have no idea.“

Wille took a few of the sticky fake bugs and placed them in one hand and took the glass of water in the other.

He walked to Simons room, knocking on the door, bugs in hand.

The door opened, an unamused Simon at his feet.

“I thought you were going to go riding.”

“Hm, I was, but then I realized how neglected my boyfriend is-“ he places a kiss on his temple.

“-and decided he might want some company.”

“I’m not neglected, I just miss you.”

That almost made Wille feel bad about what he was about to do.

While placing another kiss on his forehead he placed the fake sticky bug on Simons desk.

“Here I got you a cup of water, I’m sure with all that singing you’ll need it.”

Simon smiled that his boyfriend thought of him, he grabbed the glass and put it up to his lips.

He put it up to his lips but nothing happened.

The water was staying still because it wasn’t water at all, it was jello.

“Seriously Wille. Gelatin in my water. Did Sara put you up to this. Very funny.” He shook the glass upside down.

“I think I’m hilarious.” Wille pressed a kiss into Simons lips before pulling his towards him.

“I was just checking to see how the prank went, I didn’t want to see you two making out.”

“Then stop walking in my room Sara.”

“Hm.”

Sara walked in the room some more, looking Wilhelm in the eyes and then over at the fake bug on the desk.

“Oh my god Simon there’s spiders on your desk!”

Wille smiled as he jumped back, containing his laughter.

“Oh my god, I’ll get something to catch it!”

Simon ran out of the room as Sara took another bug out of the box and Wille did the same. Holding them up getting ready for Simon to come back.

Simon came busting in with a bowl, only to be found with two laughing idiots in his way. Wille and Sara could hardly hold it together while they held up the fake bugs to his face.

“Oh my god I hate you both.”

“You love us.” Wille replied

“Nope I hate you now, Sara: disowned, Wille: broken up with.”

“Come on you’re being dramatic Simme.”

Wille put the bugs aside and gave his boyfriend a hug, letting his face cower in his chest.

“I still hate you even though you are very comfy.”

“I’m comfy huh.”

“Shut up you’re still broken up with-“

“- and you.” He points at Sara, his face still covered by Willes chest.

“You are definitely still disowned.”

“Now you’re really dramatic.” Sara replies.

“Get out so I can yell at my boyfriend.”

Sara throws her hands in the air out of defeat and walks away.

“You gonna yell at me or are you gonna stay cuddled in my chest.”

“I’ll get around to it.”

[erabundus]

❝  better  that  than  staying  tied  down  to  one  place.  ❞   the  wanderer  reasons.  that  isn't  his  entire  justification,  of  course  —  though  his  desire  to  keep  to  himself  is  completely  genuine,  it's  in  his  own  BEST  INTEREST  never  to  linger  for  too  long.  mortals  are  too  insufferably  nosy  for  their  own  good  and  aren't  shy  about  asking  questions  when  a  decade  or  two  passes  and  he  hasn't  aged  a  day  —  something  ren  has  the  misfortune  of  knowing  from  personal  experience.  his  creator  never  had  the  foresight  to  give  him  any  way  of  changing  his  appearance,  either.  (  not  without  making  substantial  modifications  to  his  body,  anyway.  )  the  wanderer  can  only  assume  to  do  so  would  fly  in  the  face  of  her  precious  ETERNITY,  but  frankly,  he  can't  help  but  see  it  as  yet  another  example  of  why  her  so-called  mercy  was  a  poorly  thought  out  decision.

ren  shakes  his  head;  the  last  thing  he  needs  is  thoughts  of  his  MOTHER  to  sour  his  mood.  this  conversation  feels  unusually  tolerable.  for  a  moment,  he  can't  help  but  wonder  if  this  is  how  things  would  have  gone  had  they  met  at  a  time  when  his  mind  wasn't  CLOUDED  by  betrayal  and  loathing.  it's  strange  to  consider.

❝  i'd  like  to  think  i  did.  ❞  a  touch  of  PRIDE  worms  its  way  into  his  voice  unbidden  before  he  has  the  opportunity  to  crush  it.  ❝  not  that  it  was  very  hard.  idiots  sure  love  yapping  about  subjects  they're  woefully  uninformed  on  if  they  think  it  makes  them  sound  smarter  than  they  actually  are.  ���  though  he's  sure  his  physical  presence  in  tatarasuna  technically  affords  him  an  intellectual  ADVANTAGE  —  even  if  history  no  longer  holds  any  recollection  he  was  there.  he  still  feels  a  degree  of  obligation  to  PROTECT  the  memory  of  those  kind  enough  to  take  in  an  abandoned,  ignorant  puppet  in  whatever  way  he  possibly  can.  if  that  means  writing  an entire essay  to meticulously  tear  apart  someone  trying  to  spread  tasteless  speculation  about  the  deceased,  then  so  be  it.

❝  other  than  that,  i  wrote  a  bit  about  societal  issues  in  inazuma.  ❞   nose  wrinkles  briefly.   ❝  i  was  fully  expecting  to  be  labeled  a  BLASPHEMER  for  my  perspective,  but  somehow  it  had  the  opposite  effect.  apparently  all  you  need  to  do  to  get  welcomed  into  the  akademiya  with  open  arms  is  a  pen  and  paper  and  a  convincingly  STRONG  opinion.  ❞  three  things  he  just  so  happens  to  have  in  spades.

Never had Childe felt this kind of familiarity in a stranger's presence, it felt like stepping in through the entrance of his childhood home, where he both felt warmth and something tight within his chest - the harbinger of course knew, why he felt that way, but tried his hardest not to dwell on it, for the past could not be changed, never mind, how much a part of him wished it could. After all, due to everything that had transpired, he had become rather disconnected from his family, when it really came down to it. Yes, he had a really good relationship with his younger siblings, but that was about it. Sending his father medicine, helping his mother in the kitchen, were all things he did with the knowledge, that the rocky path upon which he walk, won't ever change or revert back to how smoothly it had been, when he had been nothing but a mere child - before the abyss. Perhaps, he had met someone during his travels, that had reminded him of this person? That had to be it.

❝ Oh, I see! I guess, I am not the only one, who likes to travel. ❞

A warm laugh vibrated within the scarred throat of the harbinger as he watched the other with a small smile gracing his fair lips, a smile that told nothing of the many thoughts that had went through Childe's mind, just a moment ago. Another laugh followed upon hearing the last statement, though, this time, it was louder, more amused, a feeling that could be seen in cobalt depths, despite them being lackluster in color.

❝ I like your reasoning and attitude. Did you show them then? Also, did you write about anything interesting? ❞ It was very interesting to him, to have the chance to learn about something new through the wanderer's writing.