#that's feminist theory

[artemismatchalatte]

My owned TBR for 2023 (1/12) 

I wanted to share more of my books/reading habits on here. 

I think I promised more original content on here so I have a bunch of book covers for this December. These 12 posts would ideally make up a portion of my reading list next year, give or take a few titles. 

Happy Reading everyone! :) 

[lilithism1848]

[radfemridiculous]

If I have to see one more goddamn mention of the “male loneliness epidemic” i’m going to shoot myself. Yknow women have been lonely. For centuries. For millennia women have been lonely, isolated in marriages they didn’t want, forced into domestic labour they never asked for, at home with children they never dreamed of having, having their rights, their dreams, their aspirations, their hopes and dreams stripped away from them. For millennia! But sure some men can’t make friends and mean women won't fuck them. Let’s call it an epidemic and have all of the world’s professionals turn an eye to it, let’s have a shit ton of articles and papers written about why men can’t make friends or get girlfriends and how that’s just not fair you guys! It’s not as though men have been having the world spoon fed to them, carried to them on a golden platter for millennia either. It’s not as though every woman in a man’s life is forced constantly to do emotional labour for him because he has the mentality of a fucking six year old and is effectively useless on his own. It is the de facto position for a wife or a girlfriend to “fix” a useless man, to make him a real man, to make him empathetic and kind and patient, to temper and mature him and just hope to god he doesn’t fucking kill her on the way there. Men are lonely? Fucking good. Maybe, for the first time in civilisation, they fucking should be.

[yapoholics-anonymous]

"it's woman's responsibility to be assaulted correctly"

[liberaljane]

Are you heading for a burnout without even realizing it? For neurodivergent folks, the warning signs of burnout may look different and be harder to recongize. 

Neurodivergent or not, we all need to understand our limits and boundaries. When you’re neurodivergent, you may not know you pushed yourself too far - until it’s too late!

Need help with some of the terms in this post?

😎 “Masking” or “Camouflaging": a coping strategy that many neurodivergent people use to suppress aspects of themselves to appear neurotypical. It’s important to note that social masking is a tool many neurospicy folks use to keep themselves safe, and usually starts in childhood. 🥄 “Spoons” refers to Spoon Theory, which is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has for daily activities and tasks. It is a helpful tool for disabled and neurodivergent folks to describe their energy. 👋 “Stim” short for "self-stimulation" is a term used to describe repetitive behaviors or movements that people may engage in to help cope with emotions. It may include rocking, flapping hands or twirling. 

If any of this resonates with you, try letting the “mask” slip a little! 

[kkoffin]

gender is a conservative-made social construct btw. It has no purpose besides keeping women subordinate and dependant and making sure men join the military. It’s not an identity, it’s a method of oppression, and you are falling for it head over heels.

makeup and breast augmentation, high heels and false eyelashes aren’t “gender affirming “care””, they’re a product of capitalism that targets women, designed to make you feel ugly without them and become reliant on the industry.

Gender ideology is conservative and “gender affirming care” is capitalist. You aren’t a leftist or a communist.

Gender and capitalism doesn’t care if you’re born with a penis and doing these things, it profits just the same.

[haveuevermetme]

Grown women who mock 10-year-old girls on tiktok for using too much makeup and skincare are so ironic and painful to watch.

Acting like these girls didn’t get their ideas from you. They were listening when you were telling them how you should start your retinol treatment as young as you can. They were listening when you told them 30 step routine is a game changer. They were looking at you, at women on the billboards, magazine covers and in the TV shows with perfect skin, perfect eyeshadows, perfect hair and realised they should do the same, they should start as young as they can or it would be too late.

These girls are present when you mock other women for their age. Young women ages 20-30 get bullied for having normal faces. “Oh my god i thought you were 50” at a woman who is clearly in her thirties.

These “helpful tips” how to not get wrinkles which include don’t lift your eyebrows, don’t emote in general, use anti-wrinkle straws, don’t forget to get botox on time.

Red light therapy, sleeping with your mouth sealed, in one position on your back so either side of your face won’t get squished and swollen.

But these little girls are funny, yeah, let’s mock them. Why don’t you mock the promoters of these ideas? Why don’t you mock billion dollar industries? 10-year-olds at Sephora are funny, I wonder if you find the absence of women with real faces on screens as funny

[ftmtftm]

This is a bit of a semantics issue, however I think the semantics are important, given the way these things are talked about on Tumblr.

No, trans men were not "socialized female". No, trans women were not "socialized male".

We are (actively, presently are, not were) ALL socialized under rigid, oppressive, cultural sex/gender norms, broadly speaking. It came free with our rigid binaristic (colonized) society. We all internalize ideas about what we "should" or "shouldn't" be in relation to our sex/gender based on what we learn from our family unit, our peers, our community, and our society. This experience is heavily influenced by our culture growing up and our culture presently around us. Gender and sex are cultural and what culture says is true about these constructed binaries is what influences us all. Not just trans people.

There's really, in my transfeminist opinion, no such thing as "male or female socialization", but rather something akin to "patriarchal gender socialization" (name pending - this isn't law, just ideas).

It shifts the focus to the system of power dictating the rules, rather than focusing on the rules and the individuals suffering under them themselves. It also removes the binaristic and intersexist M/F categorization and instantly becomes more inclusive of the ways we also need to acknowledge and talk about intersex and nonbinary experiences under this system. It's a subtle, but important and intentional, shift in attention.

Much like the "born in the wrong body" narrative, if you feel this kind of "I was socialized male/female" framing applies to you and your experiences feel free to continue to use it for yourself and your experiences but do not insist it is the only truth about the trans experience.

[carmillafem]

TW blackpill-ish feminist content

Reminder that the amount of rapists and sex offenders that are never convicted has nothing to do with there not being enough evidence and everything to do with the system not caring.

Rape was a property offence, that’s the only reason it was made a crime. It’s damage to another man’s property (daughter or wife). It, and sexual assault have some kind of false or pseudo-insignificant place in law now It’s only reason for being made criminal is no longer relevant. That’s my theory as to why no one cares.

No other crime is neglected like rape and sexual assault is. the criminal system in a sense has simply given up on doing anything about it, and that’s why rapists and sex offender roam politics and policing.

Many institutions, like my high school, go as far as to defend the offender. The rapist at my school was yelled at by principles for hours, but only because he got caught again. All of their effort was put into silencing victims and silencing any discussion of it - they gave him an at-home suspension for his own safety. No other reason. I was suspended for equally as long, only because i talked publicly about it and told women to avoid him because the school wasn’t doing anything to protect them from him. He had sexually offended 9 girls, and his first victim was my best friend. She also went to the police, and despite overwhelming evidence: him confessing that he’s done it, screenshots of him harassing her, saying “did you like it when i groped you” her saying “no” him saying “good.” - despite all that, all the police did was dissuade her from making a report.

It’s not that the crime is somehow wildly different from all other crime, it’s that every man in power has guilt from whatever they’ve done, and they’ll do everything in their power to protect a man they think is like them. It’s that the system, the men in it, don’t care at best.

It’s more than that every woman knows a woman, every woman knows a story. every woman witnessed a story, just like these.

[tumblerforever1]

[thatweirdtranny]

always interesting how the same people who when i was a girl insisted that shaving is a personal choice that no one should ever judge you for are now the very same people who, now that i’m not a girl, will fucking RANT about how i and other transmascs/men are gross and lazy for not shaving the neck beard

[bellasophies]

“Honor Killing” needs to leave our lexicon, it’s the same as “revenge porn”. It should be called what it is: religiously motivated femicide.

[lilithism1848]

[whereserpentswalk]

Hi, I saw one of your latest posts talking about the gender "segregation" where you state that women's only spaces shouldn't exist. So, if that was actually real, do you think me, a cis lesbian woman, should I be using a changing room or a bathroom used also by people with penises?

I would feel very uncomfortable being naked near someone who is biologically a male and I have the right to say no, no matter how they react, cis women's feelings matter too and nobody can tell me when I should be uncomfortable, same thing goes for sports, cis women could get physically hurt if a biological male played against them and this had already happened in a school in the US.

This more confirms how you far left activists don't care about us

I do not care about people's disgust when it comes to means of segregation. Do you think that during the 1960s there was no white person who felt uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with someone with dark skin when desegregation hit bathrooms and locker rooms? Do you think there's no white person who feels that way now (hell, a big reason American suberbs are a thing is that it allows white people to live in white only places post civil rights laws)?

How is your desire to feel comfortable through segregation any diffrent? There is a group you feel uncomfortable with in a space so you want it segregated, I suggest you either not use that space or find a way to be more comfortable. Society may have a responsibility for you to be safe, but there is no responsibility for you to feel safe.

And do you think nobody wants to be segregated away from you? You're literally a queer person, there are people who do not want you in public because of the exact same uncomfortablity with you. You probably have way more in common with trans people than most cis people do. If many people were allowed to remove what makes them uncomfortable from society, you would be forced into the closet. This isn't a hypothetical, the same people pushing for removal of trans people from society have same sex relationships as their next target.

Uncomfortablity is not something society can or should protect you from.

[lorynna]

inevitably you will then think back about the nights you used to lie awake in bed, butterflies in your stomach fantasizing about this new guy you met, that you hardly knew by then, imagining how he *could* be, on all the fun dates you would go, the sweet things he'd say to you and the fancy restaurant you'd visit for dinner.

you'd think about the beautiful dresses you would pick out for the occasion and didn't think you'd have to tell him what to wear or that he would maybe out of laziness just show up with jogging pants. you didn't think about all the times the dishes might pile up in the sink or the random socks lying around or eventually having to scrub off the shit stains he leaves on the toilet because he can't even manage to clean up after himself.

and he might tell you that this is just because he has gotten comfortable with you and this has nothing to do with him taking you for granted but I'm telling you that he just doesn't care.

i am tired of hearing work colleagues and friends talk about what they do for their men and laughing about it because it's so normalized that they don't second guess it. I don't wanna hear about how you have to cut up vegetables so small that you can mix it in his spaghetti sauce so he doesn't notice because he refuses to eat those and otherwise wouldn't get his necessary vitamins, i am tired of them talking about how their men fail to complete daily task and give the mental load to their girlfriends/wives and they try to talk it into something positive like: He just told me to manage his [feel free to insert anything here] and I agreed - like at least i can do it how I want it to be done and don't have to second-check after he completes the task. Like... in some kind of way I feel more relieved because when I do it myself I know it's gonna turn out the way it should! " (weaponized incompetence much?)

please learn to leave men that don't add any value to your life. leave men that refuse to make an effort and put yourself first always and don't look back. you alone are whole as a person and you don't need a partner to complete you. you will be fine. you will be better.

[dykeulous]

the terminology centered around love making is morose & concerning. sex is supposed to be a safe, consensual experience. the language used to describe sexual acts are rooted in a violent sect of the heteropatriarchy. “smash”, “ruin”, “destroy”, “break their back”, “rearrange their organs”, “blow”, “bang”, “screw”, “pound”, and more are all used to describe sexual acts. it’s described as something done to someone, rather than as a mutual act. this violent language is so present in our culture, and it assumes that a woman can be sexually satisfied & reach the point of climax merely on the basis of penetration, which has been proven so many times to be blatantly untrue. perhaps it’s just true that men don’t even truly want the woman to feel any sexual pleasure during the act at all, and that they simply see their dicks as something to be worshipped. they truly do want to smash, ruin, destroy, bang, pound, and screw– they want to destruct. they want satisfaction, they want to feel pleasure on the basis of female suffering & female pain. they don’t want the woman to be sexually pleased at all. they don’t see the woman they’re making love with as a person worthy of the status of a person. they don’t think they’re engaging in a mutual activity, they simply take what they want and don’t try to satisfy the person they’re having sex with at all, because they don’t see that person as a person, and because they don’t see the sex act as something they’re doing with someone, but as something they’re doing to someone. that is the essence of rape culture, male egocentrism, and male dominance.