#that's a waste of time for another day
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an unsolicited rant about moviefilms by me
when people find out i was a theatre major they always want to talk to me about film. to me this feels like if i told someone i speak french and their response was "oh cool so you understand spanish?" and it's like no dude. what i love is theatre. film is its own, different thing that i know fuck all about. i also honestly dislike a lot of movies that are considered good/cool/classics. i don't enjoy popular american movies in general. like i hate pulp fiction and fight club and all such tryhard fakedeep hollywood garbage. i also strongly dislike wes anderson and quentin tarantino is the worst. also larry clark and gus van sant are simply awful.
but to be clear there ARE plenty of films i love. my favorite movies are aguirre, wrath of god, eraserhead, the 400 blows, ratcatcher and this film called fishtank by andrea arnold. i love lynne ramsay and the cohen brothers have some hits like barton fink. and charlie kaufman is usually pretty wonderful. oh and tarkovsky forever and ever; the mirror lives deep in my heart. there's also this movie called come and see by elem klimov that's really important. and i appreciate harmony korine's willingness to experiment and take risks and make different kinds of films. i don't like everything he's made but julien donkey-boy is one of my all-time favorites and i love mister lonely too. sofia coppola is actually kinda ok with me for reasons i cannot fully articulate. that marie antoinette movie is my guiltiest pleasure lol and do not get me started on emma watson's brilliant and criminally underrated performance in the bling ring. i also like 3 women and who's afraid of virginia woolf and russian ark. buffalo '66 was cool and so was la haine. and fucking days of heaven; terrence malick is top notch. anywayyy i need to try to accomplish something besides internet diary entries today, so this concludes today's rant no one cares about/list of shit i like.
summary/tldr: my theatre education does not qualify me to discuss film, and also i like some movies but dislike others. thank you for your attention and yes this will definitely be on the test.
#personal#shit no one cares about#they should make more movies that don't suck immeasurably#i didn't mention documentaries bc we'd be here for another three paragraphs. i also didn't get into shit i liked as a kid bc#that's a waste of time for another day
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Can you tell I can’t stand him
#professor layton#jean descole#I don’t know what else to do with these because I don’t have the energy to ‘finish’ them#I feel like they are too stiff to I just don’t want to waste time coloring it rip#that won’t stop me though another day another descole#grown ass man in cosplay who plays dress to impress and loses to an army of 10 year olds
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mustique demo came up on shuffle again and i've had my head in my hands for the past hour because truly what was this insanity. why does noel sing his song with a completely different set of pronouns than what he made liam finally sing? and i'm not even thinking about the lock all the doors lore right now. i'm just speechless because truly... whose confession am i listening to? i need to study noel's brain so bad jfc he was so insane for this. i'll never get over this song.
#noel gallagher#my sister lover#my sister lover mustique demo#liam & noel#truly what did he mean#i don't even think the genius lyrics are 100% correct but still#noel singing he will waste liam's time vs liam singing he will waste his own time#noel telling liam he'll live to fight another day vs liam telling that to himself#jfc this song is begging for a 10k word critical literary analysis#wanna do it so bad but i just know i'll not be able to do it justice bc noel is insane like that#god what a demo what a song
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games he’s downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and he’s so foul at first because he thinks I’m weak but we play and he realises that I’m#actually whooping everyone and he’s like well damn okay#and now he’s messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when I’m online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then he’s asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but he’s a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and it’s him trying to continue the conversation😭#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if I’m okay but then immediately worries he’s one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual I’ve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but we’ve NEVER talked to each other??#it’s not until I’m feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msg🥺#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my ‘morning’ with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how he’s ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits he’s kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because it’s one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it back😭😭😭 even if he’s off from a night shift and needs sleep he can’t without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think he’s an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock him😭#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhere😭😭😭#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socials😭😂
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Desperately trying to skirt around the worst period of your life in polite conversation like ...there was a time when.... Things weren't good.. When I couldn't..... It was bad okay
#evil horse posting#Lol I looked so stupid#And I'm not exactly engaged in bucket loads of conversation there#So I was just ooh my god I'm wasting my one time in the next 300 years that people care what I have to say on this#Actually not going to get into it#For another day
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This whole day I have just been yelled at by patients on the phone for long periods of time one after the other I’m at my limit truly
#riv rambles#people are so mean#calling me slurs over the phone because your doctor denied your refill is literally so uncalled for how is this my fault to begin with 😭#I had another guy yell at me for charging him for ‘too many pills’#and it turns out he took 1 pill a day instead of 2#yeah duh ur gonna have extra#and then he had the audacity to tell me I wasted his time for not telling him that sooner#how was I supposed to know#another lady asked if we had something for 2.5 milligrams so I said yes we have it in stock#the doctor sends in a 5 mg prescription which we do not have in stock#she called and yelled at me for lying to her#ma’am you need to ask the right strength when u call that’s on u#there’s 6226 more reasons I got straight up BULLIED over the phone but#I can’t even begin listing them all#I think I answered maybe 15 calls today#I’m pretty sure only like 3 of them were nice regular phone calls#I’m gonna go home and have a good cry session deadass#I mean it#I’m gonna get in the shower and fucking cry 🥲
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#aesthetic#vibes#relationship#heartbreak#love#alone with my thoughts#maybe in another life#kobe bryant#black mamba#mambamentality#seize the day#no time to waste#romance#go get 'em
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my favorite thing about having so many y.akuza f/os is knowing half of these guys would fucking hate each other LMAAOO
#ash rambles 💚#i love them all <3 okay maybe 🔒💙 a little less- /j#SPEAKING OF. you know that part of g.aiden where they recap 7? i was not prepared to see his stupid face- at least give me a warning!#ugh he's so punchable..#it's very obvious who he is but i'd really rather not go around posting about being in love with a horrible villain-#even if most of our relationship is pre-villain or me attempting to write a redemption arc#it was the jumpscare of all time!! that stupid evil smirk... ugh. if evil why so damn pretty???#also i deadass cannot tell what i feel towards another g.aiden character.. praying that it's just physical attraction because it would be s#so so embarrassing to kiss j.oryu. and h.anawa. and this guy. all my s/is exist in separate universes btw but still wjdhjqdh#especially considering that this new guy tortured h.anawa for days straight... there's beef in the ash kissing community 🤪#hopefully he's just blorbo. I'm almost fully caught up with y.akuza so hopefully I'm done getting new f/os-#how many characters... how many..#I'm having fun though don't get me wrong#it's just plenty embarrassing#ash stop making eyes at every middle aged man you see!!!!#i do think it's funny how my type in y.akuza guys is either Young Pretty Boy or Hot Middle Aged Man. no in between#I'm so stoked for y.akuza 8 later! hwoever i do have exams next week so wish me luck qjdhwjdhwje scared!!!!#i just. hopefully i wont fall for this new guy. and maybe i was fantasizing about how he'd be a great dad during class#but like#pfffft#not that that means anything!!!!!!!!!#he totally would though#and hey! maybe if I'm close with him i get to party hardy with w.atase? and hey! what y.akuza fan doesn't wanna get wasted with w.atase?#thats my goat right there#infinite aura on that guy#the 'party hardy' line is so silly qjdhwjdhs sir you're not selling the Scary Y.akuza Captain act too well#if you call having fun in the city having a Party Hardy#dork..
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also quick rant LOL
1 luminous disbandment was so obv and im p sure everybody saw it coming but still im so sad wtf
2 WORK IS KICKING MY ASS SO FUCKING BAD RN I LITERALLY NEED TO KMS LMFAOOOO no genuinely its fucking up my mental health so bad i am NOT okay 😛😛 ill give you a bit of work lore rq sO yk how i work part time in this random ass restaurant to be able to pay for fucking university [my 4th semester starts in april but im p sure ill drop out before that ((:] initially i applied as a waitress but one of our barkeepers quit so they just pulled me out of the service and put me behind the bar so we were 2 ppl then this girl started working w us but she was fired bc she was being a bitch [theres sm lore i have w her as well its actually funny we had the worst enemies to friends development in the span of like a week 😭😭] anywayz so we were back to being 2 ppl for a time so my boss had to jump in bc that is NOT enough tRUST and we had a couple ppl do this test work day thingy but none of them were accepted and then this guy started working w us but he was also fired bc he called in sick for 3 days out of his first 5 official days so he didnt even last 2 weeks there LOL anywayz the result of all of this is that i am supposed to work 16h a week bUT BC WE DONT HAVE ANYBODY FOR THE BAR I HAVE TO JUMP IN AND WORK THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY EVERY DAY I AM EXHAUSTED
3 WTF IS THIS NEW IOS UPDATE WHAT HAPPENED TO MY EMOJIS AGAIN FUCK YOU APPLE
#if this is incomprehensible its fine its p much just for my future self anyway#☆ ; dear diary ?#idk if i should quit or if i should just wait until my contract ends in like august bc then i can just tell them to not extend it#bUT THAT LEADS TO ANOTHER DILEMMA#bc i wanted to go on vacation in october#so ill have to give my boss this thingy where i write down the days i wanna take off work#but i dont wanna waste them on october when i wont even be working there anymore at that time#BUT I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE PLANNED#AND WHAT IF I SUDDENLY CHANGE MY MIND AND WANNA KEEP WORKING THERE#ugh i hate it here i hate being an adult i hate having to make decisions i hate being alive i hate eVERYTHING
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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im working hard at hardly working just for you my queen~~~~~~
#funny story: so like i woke up this morning feeling oddly ✨locked in✨ to tl idol sengen…#but since it’s a workday i got the sense that *something* had gone wrong at work. bc yk. it’s just equal like that#like. if you feel up for leisure when you know gotta go to work instead…#there’s just that nagging feeling that something had gone wrong at work. right? y’know *that* feel… right…?#anyway sure enough something *had* gone wrong at work l m a o it went so poorly i cant even.#like. my sample analysis machine. thing. (details amended for privacy) ✨gave up✨ on analysing samples in the middle of the run#soooooooooo the little flame went burnin’ all night long bc it wasnt able to get to the ‘switch off after run completes’ command at the end#also i ran out of solutions for [the machine] and both of my waste containers were full and it was ✨inconvenient✨#…either way this was a truly annoying day. so im gonna go ahead and queue up my herohero/noontea tls for tomorrow just bc#im still ehhhhhhhh about some of the herohero lines so ig i’ll put one interpretation in the main part and another in the footnotes…#noontea’s a little more straightforward… but the line distributions are a little wonky… i think#oh well~~~~ the beauty of text tls is that you can amend ‘em easily if needed~~~~~ yayyyyyyyy#(tling songs is still a major pain though… oh welllllllllllll)#but~~~~~~~~~ chizuchan manga vol 2 will prolly drop at this time next monday so~~~~~ im gonna hold on just for chizuchan.#the light at the end of the tunnel is visible frfrrrrrrr wait for me chizuchan im just 5 days awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#(b u t f i r s t — i cant wait for the weekend thoughhhhhhh last weekend was really fun (spent it cleaning idolsengen pages and sleeping))#o k that’s all gn guysssss see y’all tomorrow for herohero/noontea questionable tls~~~~~~
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Officially deciding I shall not be going to work tomorrow because of the snowstorm so…. Yay? Extra day off?
#driving home after work tonight was bad enough#and it’s just gonna keep snowing so yeah I’m good#if my fucking roommate tries to speak to me though we might have issues#I don’t think she realizes the precarious position not paying the bills put her in with me#like did I already dislike her and find her extremely annoying? yes#however I was willing to deal with that for another couple weeks#but now you have costed me hundreds of dollars#if you try to speak to me or get in my way and it’s not to give me your share?#it’s your own fault if I decide to maul you#I will say I find it amusing in an infuriating way that she constantly goes on and on about how I spend too much time in my room#and I’m wasting my life and ‘hiding won’t make things better’#cuz like. anyone with eyes and a brain could see I’m literally just avoiding you#I hang out with friends I go places I do things when you’re not home I chill in other areas of the apartment#I’m quite literally just avoiding your dumbass and you’re too stupid to realize so you lecture me on depression#like oh my fucking god……#anyways that was a tangent#snow day ig#will probably write some and watch a couple episodes of Gundam and haikyuu#kaz rambles
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um. hey coughing. leaning on wall. So my goat is back on strength smp
#zydoodles#zyart#sharpness#sharpness fanart#conexion#strength smp#strength smp fanart#Oh boy. hi guys#another day another dollar another time wasted away drawing a minecrafter#are there any sharpness fans out here hello (speaking into an echochamber)#I rly didnt know what to go with for his design cause 1 ive never seen sharpness fanart before and#2. i have no idea if his skin is a reference to anything! so i just went with tech & knight vibes u_u
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WAIT i never complained abt my scheduling lol. still have not seen my actual boss more than that one five seconds and me and main coworker are supposed to work coverage out amongst ourselves bc thats more relevant fine and okay. but i ask her about what i should switch to going more part time and off of being Fulltime In Training and she says oh ill talk to [boss] about it. and then does and tells me oh [boss] wants to talk to u about that today or tomorrow.
she never does and shes never in her office so i dont hear anything by friday when i work w my second coworker. who i dont really think either of us vibes w the other lol weve been nice but im happy not to work w her. and the feeling is mutual bc she told me oh is this ur last friday i didnt think u were working [boss] told me u were going to be switching to mon-thru-thursday. OKAY? thats really funnily pointed but WHY DID SHE TELL U AND NOT MEEEEEEE. why cant i just know what im working more than two days in advance lolllllll. i am not made for this pwease.
#ITS ALSO ONE DAY MORE THAN I WAS PREPARED TO WORK. its fine but#another thing i havent been told: how long my shifts are supposed to be??? i just stay till the end of my main coworkers shifts bc#eventually ill have days by myself so i want to be used to what the last hour is like#but second coworker kicked me out early first time i worked w her (again: lol) bc i 'already worked my eight hours' WAS I SUPPOSED TO#KNOW IM ONLY SUPPOSED TO WORK EIGHT HOURS. no ones been stopping me but if i stay the last hour mon-thru-thursday#thatll put me over the 20-30 hours. like. halftime employment classification im in. am i getting anyone in trouble for that am i#wasting labor hours or something lol. I DONT KNOW. NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING#BWAHH!!!!!!!!!#i really wanted to be all set to like. approach my assertive communication properly from the start here lol i want to start#acting like im thirty but ive been thrown for such a loop since the first surprise shift and then had zero time to catch my breath and#a million other stressors that take up any energy or fucks i would have for chasing down answers kjsfg WHATEVER!!!!!#give me overtime and extra pay then <3 until anyone tells me otherwise
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I hate being such an over thinker because anytime I write something angsty, I always worry that it sounds better in my head and is not enough angst 😩
#like my goal is to write something gut wrenching 😭#I know we are our own worst critics but I just wanna write something that moves other like music moves me#I am working on an angst fic rn#but i really want to write about another Rhysand’s sister oc whose story gives off angst#different to my other OC (Valeria)#so many ideas and I waste most of my time overthinking 😭#I also am so self conscious of my writing when it comes to actual plot lines and character development#for the same reason…overthinking#anyway sorry for my tag rambling#idk if anyone ever reads this but if you happen to be reading this…#hi lol#hope you have a good day/night 💜#hope rambles
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tbh i think at least half of the scoundrel's motivation for doing the deeper discordance storyline is just. a really bad really painful distraction from everything else currently going wrong in their life. which. admittedly. that's their motivation for most things
#their city self is in shambles. their husband is... Having A Moment#(caeru's current affairs and mental state is a suitcase to unpack in another day. aka another post)#they still can't bring themself to go up to their lieutenant and admit they were wrong about the committed relationship thing#they DEFINITELY aren't making any headway on the wines seduction front#they just. need something they can get a grip on. something to bat around between their claws and conquer#the discordance is very much not that. but like all things with the scoundrel#whether or not something is or isnt what they believe doesn't matter. what matters is that they believe it#so they're throwing themself against the proverbial wall of a language they hate because they Might As Well#and surely. surely. once they prove (to themself) that the discordance isnt anything to be scared of#and it's pitiful and foolish and a waste of time#SURELY. that'll show em. that'll show everyone. that'll show all of their stupid emotions and stupid hangups and stupid fears#and stupid stewards and stupid anchoresses that dont exist. surely. they will simply Win At Discordance.#they're built different. they'll simply handle it. they'll handle everything!!#and thus the adulterine castle is (not) visited by a very spiteful very annoying little bat that refuses to take anything to heart#while also accidentally learning along the way anyway#discordant studies is the forbidden scoundrel self reflection arc. it is just also the scoundrel self reflection arc#wherein the scoundrel goes in with even less reflection than usual (and also is kicking and screaming the whole time)#wow that was. a longer tag ramble than i meant to do. whoops.#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#discordance spoilers
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