#and stupid stewards and stupid anchoresses that dont exist. surely. they will simply Win At Discordance.
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tbh i think at least half of the scoundrel's motivation for doing the deeper discordance storyline is just. a really bad really painful distraction from everything else currently going wrong in their life. which. admittedly. that's their motivation for most things
#their city self is in shambles. their husband is... Having A Moment#(caeru's current affairs and mental state is a suitcase to unpack in another day. aka another post)#they still can't bring themself to go up to their lieutenant and admit they were wrong about the committed relationship thing#they DEFINITELY aren't making any headway on the wines seduction front#they just. need something they can get a grip on. something to bat around between their claws and conquer#the discordance is very much not that. but like all things with the scoundrel#whether or not something is or isnt what they believe doesn't matter. what matters is that they believe it#so they're throwing themself against the proverbial wall of a language they hate because they Might As Well#and surely. surely. once they prove (to themself) that the discordance isnt anything to be scared of#and it's pitiful and foolish and a waste of time#SURELY. that'll show em. that'll show everyone. that'll show all of their stupid emotions and stupid hangups and stupid fears#and stupid stewards and stupid anchoresses that dont exist. surely. they will simply Win At Discordance.#they're built different. they'll simply handle it. they'll handle everything!!#and thus the adulterine castle is (not) visited by a very spiteful very annoying little bat that refuses to take anything to heart#while also accidentally learning along the way anyway#discordant studies is the forbidden scoundrel self reflection arc. it is just also the scoundrel self reflection arc#wherein the scoundrel goes in with even less reflection than usual (and also is kicking and screaming the whole time)#wow that was. a longer tag ramble than i meant to do. whoops.#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#discordance spoilers
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