#that's a nah from me dude
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thinking about Eddie & hyacinths again
#as you can surmise im Perfectly Normal about it#this man doesnt make me insane at all. nope.#trying out some new coloring and texture and background things...#on a side note. and i say this so lovingly bc theyre my favorite flowers#FUCK DRAWING HYACINTHS ALL MY HOMIES HATE DRAWING HYACINTHS#that was hell on earth.#ANYWAY THIS DUDE IS NEAT I HOPE HE DIES#nah im jesting im Jesting. am i tho#dead or alive i want him to experience unimaginable horrors and then die ten times and come back Normal#bc eddie strikes me as a 'dying would fix them' character#whether its a real death or a perceived death or Youve Been Dead The Whole Time death dont care dont care#i need him dead on the ground for at leeeaaaast five minutes#id be frothing at the fucking mouth. ragh#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#eddie dear#originally this was gonna be a Very bloody little piece#but then my brain went 'hey. symbolism. what if the blood was flower petals. from hyacinths'#and ohhhh i couldnt pass that up#i wish i did! i would have had a lot more fun drawing a gruesome injury rather than Those Damn Flowers!#i dont know why ive latched onto the hyacinths outside the post office but my brain wont let go#ITS JUST SO SPECIFIC. why why whyyyyyy put that specific flower by this specific guy#especially flowers with Those Meanings and That Myth#*violently shaking the site* WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNN#ok im getting myself too worked up i need to touch grass or poke the fire
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more from the reincarnated band au in the form of: sometimes you're just a girl who wants to have a nice lunch date w your partner, but then her incredibly rude coworker stalks in (bc he stalks everywhere) and then you realise you've miscalculated bc the shop is one block away from the gym and his appearance makes sense, he does leave the gym at this hour (you're annoyed that you know ouyang's routine). Some random jockman is trailing after him and ouyang appears as pleased as he is desperate to evade him, and they both sit down with you and you end up eating your noodles next to some sweaty guy you just met, while zhu and ouyang bicker gleefully at each other about music.
#the radiant emperor#she who became the sun#he who drowned the world#zhu chongba#general ouyang#ma xiuying#esen temur#alternatively i call this i have a fever and decided to greyscale render#double alternatively i call this join me on my journey as i draw zhu progressively hotter with every sketch that goes by#listen im tentative abt this esen design but then I'm like no girl be daring he should look like a fuckhead#floppy stupid eboy hair and tanktop from the gym#goatee one hoop earring deadlift ass motherfucker dumbass#he's like i met this guy and he's just so cool dude he's in a band or sth#and wbx is like oh okay so you wanna fuck him and esen is like whAA ME? NAH he's just. super cool.#i hate them actually i want to kick them all in the shins#my art#band au
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ok for all the nonsense i give the [redacted] anime, this scene looks pretty funny in the manga adaptation
#b u t that’s only bc of the artist’s skills. the way their faces are illustrated makes it better than it’s actually worth#(sorry dudes im just having ✨thoughts✨ and ✨flashbacks✨ to the point of having a huge headache so pls look at loserxloser with me~~)#still cant believe how dirty every single character was done in the [redacted] anime though. even tamura and uchida weren’t spared#and they had. like. less than an hour of total screentime throughout the series combined#even nagisa was put on a bus (or rather a train) and never returned. not even as a cameo. smh.#the only character that escaped relatively unscathed was juri i think. she was just in it for the vibes#i’d say the one and only thing the [redacted] anime improved in from the og setting was hiyo informing akechi about her job. that’s it.#everything else… nope. nah. especially whatever was going on between the someya bros#h m. yk what. maybe thinking about the [redacted] anime on a headache wasn’t the best idea after all. lmao#maybe going to cry on priv would’ve been a better idea… instead of having this bonus headache. oh well.#anyways live laugh love loserxloser
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also you guys saying you can't wait to see my dragon age OCs as if i haven't been considering just making mal: the dragon age edition like
#life#listen LISTEN hear me out#i am NOT ready to let go of my precious little wet cat sorceress i simply am not#just thinking about myself not caring about her anymore lich crushes me like#i'm totally fine with putting my clown makeup and my lil clown wig and lil clown shoes on#and just going with it idk man#if she gets to kiss new ladies and new dudes it's good for her enrichment!!!#but yeah nah also if I DO end up playing the previous games i might make a 'lore-accurate' blorbo WHO KNOWS#just.. don't expect much from me tbh i'm here for the tomfoolery only
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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it's monday. why tf am i sitting here having to professionally pop off at someone???
#vent cw#;; no bc being the only woman on my team besides my director is insane sometimes#;; this guy from another part of the business came to me for a cv review bc he's interested in being a data scientist and we get to the#;; feedback session and he's been getting feedback from like two other teammates of mine and i AGREED with their feedback#;; and i offered more and he had so much pushback? AND THEN HE SAID MY CRITIQUE SEEMED LIKE A COP OUT???#;; bc i said the structure needed a bit of tweaking and i offered him a solution#;; then he tried to insinuate that i said data science and machine learning are different? which i never said that???#;; my guuuuy 🙄 anyways i stood up for myself bc you're not about to have me out here looking like a fool? when YOU'RE the one who asked for#;; MY HELP??#;; it's crazy bc i typically don't have to defend my expertise because my team respects me and the people on my side of the business do too#;; i'm going to talk to my boss about it lowkey bc if this guy is already getting help from two other people?? it's a resource drain and im#;; out of polite fuck offs. i need his support on this bc it's actually making me uncomfortable that this dude keeps cropping up#;; asking me for help and also *expecting it*. like nah.#♕░░ queen of the summer isles ( LUXX SPEAKING )#;; tbd.
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reading scholarly articles about pathologic when its so obvious that the writer didn't even properly play the game and actually only played like the first half of 2 and then confidently putting their opinions out there like SHUT UP
#getting to the conclusion and reading 'i only played half of the game and then watched playthroughs of it' was so carthatic to me#autism brain reading it and being like wait a minute#also patho 2 cant even be read in a vacuum you have to consider patho 1 and 2 together#nah dude argued that pathologic 2's system of zero sum games are just like what russia does irl#and like im pretty sure the whole argument was basically just its russian propaganda#from the moment he said “the plague occurs every couple of years” I should've left#pathologic#i think that people in academia should not have many opinions about video games actually#bc the entire article read to me like the author was laughing at the fans being like haha look at this FOOLS
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i understand why they made the changes to cassidy's backstory in the preacher tv show, and for the most part i'm on board with a lot of the changes to his character in general - my impression is that his original storyline was kind of influenced by ennis's run on hellblazer and getting sick of the constantine character who would use his friends up, get them killed, and get to keep going being beloved by fans because comics just Go in perpetuity like that - because the original storyline really lays into addicts and people who relapse, it's shockingly unsympathetic and hard to swallow at least for me. so while i like a lot of his story changes overall, making him a more sympathetic character it's easier to root for, still keeping a manipulative, lying edge to him but with more nuance to it, i can't say i'm too fond of the change for him pre-vampiring from idiot younger brother being dragged around by protective older brother to putting him in that older brother figure sort of role. as much as i think it tracks with the story they're telling i find that it sort of flattens his character out or makes it a bit more generic. i miss when he used to be a little twit.
#ignore me#preacher#proinsias cassidy#there was going to be more in here and then i realized i was drifting madly away from my Original Point#but i just want to say in tags god i love that fight scene with tulip while trying to stop the apocalypse#i've let you hit me a lot because i love you but if you hit me one more time i'm gonna fuckin kill you.#and asking her if she still thinks he's funny now he's got her at gunpoint. and she says Yes. and it's like. thank god#bc it was kind of a test. kind of. if you see the violent vampire side of me and i'm not just doing whatever you want do you still like me#am i just a sidekick to you. a rebound when jesse's not around. and if i step out of that role will you stop liking me.#and she said nah. nope. i still like you dude. you're more than that to me.#IT'S IMPORTANT............................ IT MEANS SO MUCH
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Fell back asleep for a while (still have a horrible headache btw) and I had the most disturbing dream that I'm going to tell you guys about in the tags
#so i was on a road trip with a bunch of people i dont even know and there were like 10 of us packed into a van#and they were so fucking loud and my head was hurting even in my dream so i was like CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP#and we get to this hotel or like house place thats like a hotel#amd we go inside and i go check the fridge and there was a thick lemonade snoothie looking drink in this clear pitcher in the fridge#and i pulled it out and look inside and there was a live fucking lizard in there all covered in the smoothie stuff trying to escape#and i was like damn i should let that outside in a minute#but i went to looks for meds first bc like i said my head was hurting even in my dream#and when i come back the pitcher is empty (no lizard no smoothie stuff)#and i was like ...... did someone drink this??#and this guy was like nah that was cake batter i put in the oven#and i was like YOU FUCKING PUT IT WHERE????#so i get this sheet pan out of the oven and there is a half baked cake and in the middle was the lizard all charred and dead looking#and i was like fuck dude you killed it#but then#BUT THEN#the fucking lizard gets up and jumped out of the cake batter and starts speed running around the place like up on the walls and ceiling#and it seemed pissed as hell#like rightfully so bc someone tried to bake it into a cake but still#so i was running around trying to stay away from it bc i got the impression that it would bite whoever it got close to#and then i woke up and for a second it felt like something was crawling on me#and i had a small/brief panic as i checked the bed for any lizards (there was nothing there)#and now im awake and my head hurts even worse and my throat hurts and my body hurts and its very possible that im sick
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hot ppl don’t support genocide 😻
#nah bcuz like. someone said ti me ‘well i hahe a different definition of genocide ☝🏼’ dude …#i said ‘but didnt we do the same thing to the native americans likee .. we stole their land bruh n killed them its called the native#american GENOCIDE for a reason#likeee thats what it is .. okay dumbass ..#theyre under occupation n being killed for just living there like ..#thats what genocide is bruh like its being killed just for existing as u are ..#anyways ppl r actually fucking dumb 😻😻#im an empath so like i get worked up abt seeing the horrible#stuff going on n everuthing like .. but how is it that ppl can LOOK AT WHATS HAPPENING N NOT BE UPSET OR DISTRAUGHT 😭#like nah u got no feelings bruh ..#those deaths are prob just numbers to u huh ..#so annoying i cannot believe it fr#how can u NOT be in favor of a ceasefire n freeing palestine from#the occupation 😭😭😭#anyways sorry for the rant but like if ur anti palestine or anti ceasefire/freeing from the occupation .. kindly gtfo 😻#like i said hot ppl dont support genocide …#or excuse it…#anyways 😋#tw death mention#tw war#tw palestine#tw israel#tw politics#tw genocide#tw rant#idk what else to put tw wise … uhh lmk if i missed anything
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AshtonIrwin: Back on the mic!!!!! 🎤 🤘🏼🫶🏻♥️
#it's the way i was about to take a 945pm depression nap and this dude said nah how about a lil bit of this 💋 and a lil of 🎤 🤘🏼🫶🏻♥️#thank u sir#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton irwin#ashton#ai ig#Instagram#kh4f post#sigh#why i no can#also hey um how about we keep the beard for the show next weekend? thx#it's a smooch from me#why i no can kiss
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[kicks door down]
Autistic Nishiki whose special interest is fashion and not only considers what's trendy but also looks out for fabrics that aren't a sensory nightmare, however sometimes he will force himself to wear something that isn't comfy for appearance's sake, which leaves him more vulnerable to getting overwhelmed and therefore 'emotional' Also means he has his collar popped like Kiryu's for sensory reasons too and slutty reasons, which would once again make me correct in saying if he undid his collar in Kiwami he'd be normal again because if I were constantly experiencing sensory discomfort I too would be fucked up and evil.
Cause like here's the thing, autistic Kiryu and Majima headcanons are more obvious (especially the former), whereas Nishiki probably comes off as the most 'normal'; he can likely maintain eye contact and talk to people 'normally' and not like, go off on some random tangent about a special interest or hyperfixation. And then you remember masking is a thing.
And okay, so I actually think it's unfair a lot of fandom considers him a 'crybaby' right, cause he's cried in situations MOST PEOPLE WOULD RIGHTFULLY CRY OVER! BUT, I can use this to my Autistic Advantage and have this be he actually struggles to regulate his emotions, and considering he's been exposed to the yakuza world since a young age where ANY emotion that isn't 'respectable stoicism' or 'righteous fury and indignation', he's seen as even MORE overly emotional. Hence the need to start masking so early, PLUS having to protect Kiryu who couldn't mask if his life depended on it because he doesn't realise he may HAVE to (speaking from personal experience, Kiryu definitely went his whole life unaware there was anything ""wrong"" with him (for lack of a better word) and had people just like "oh yeah he's just Like That dw bout it" and went on with his life), so Nishiki takes up the mantle of I'm The One Who Knows What We're Doing Lad's desperate to gain acceptance and will change whatever he has to but people still somehow pick up that Something's Off About Him and so they tend to be disdainful or brush him off. It's easy charisma that can win over hostesses and brief encounters with civillians but can't carry across in the yakuza. Kiwami is him trying his DAMNDEST to act neurotypical even at the cost of his own comfort, and the worst part is it's not working
#akira nishikiyama#yeah i can do headcanons too!! i can go all in on em!!! i need more silly headcanons to go with it#what do you think his stims are? i literally just read a mutual say he likes spinning keys and shiny things and YOU ARE SO CORRECT#i think he likes clicking his lighter open and closed as well which is another reason it's annoying Kiryu keeps borrowing/losing it gvbhjnb#sorry i had a chat with a friend last night about this cause this headcanon's been swirling around in my head for a while and i'm actually#putting the pieces together. sorry for using terms like 'wrong' and 'normal' but it's like that's the easiest way for me to explain it and#like i said im talking from personal experience. im close with someone whose basically masked their whole life and is realising 'nah mate#im just nd' meanwhile I grew up having no idea what autism was but I Clearly Was That and assumed everyone ELSE was being difficult#and yet despite relating to Kiryu moreso something about Nishiki's lack of a hold on his identity compels me and im like same dude#this is what i mean by whenever i think about Nishiki there's a 1/3 chance i'll start crying cause HE MAKES ME SO SAD#BABYGIRL YOU DESERVED BETTER!!!!!
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today i’m thinking about “different first meeting” kuwagami scenario where kuwana is acquainted with kaito beforehand, BUT not as friends, but as fuckbuddies at most. maybe, even just as a one night stand.
yagami comes to kaito’s apartment because he couldn’t reach him or something, and sees another new guy coming out of his shower; this isn’t news for him that kaito occasionally hooked up with random women and men alike, with preference in the former. yagami pays kuwana no mind and actively deflects any advances from him, thinking that kuwana sees him as another fuckbuddy of kaito. yagami doesn’t fuck around that much, and definitely isn’t in the mood to find somebody to stay the night with: they have an urgent case, and there isn’t any other thing on his mind at the moment.
while kuwana falls in love with yagami at the first sight. sure it’s weird to fall for a business partner of the guy he just fucked and isn’t going to remember for long. but, yagami is perfect, in some stupid way. kuwana says something dumb, gets rejected, and his hurting heart tells him he can’t let yagami go. he hasn’t felt this way about anyone in years.
so, he starts to hang around kaito much more frequently, they may even be called friends at some point. yagami thinks they are dating; this is the last thing kuwana wants him to think.
although, they click with each other pretty quickly; with all the annoyance, it’s fun to bicker with him, rarely being serious, picking on him and being picked on in turn. but it also frustrates yagami, because he sees that kuwana doesn’t really care about kaito (the amount he'd expect of the guy kaito is together with). while kuwana sees that yagami worries for kaito, and thinks that it’s in that way. once, he, heartbroken and losing hope, asks what yagami sees in kaito (as a possible romantic partner), but words it badly and is understood even worse. yagami falls out with kuwana, and they stop talking altogether.
yagami sulks and is very upset, because he thought they had something special going there, even if it was just a mutual interest, which wouldn’t turn into anything else. kuwana stops talking to kaito, explaining to him that it was because he couldn’t bear to be with yagami in one room when he hates him so much. his words kind of insinuate of kuwana’s feelings for yagami, but kaito doesn’t catch the hint.
some time passes, and yagami and kaito talk about kuwana. yagami says that he regrets so much cutting kuwana off from his life. kaito remembers what kuwana said, tells it to yagami as word for word as he could remember, and though he doesn’t understand what’s wrong, yagami sees kuwana’s message clearly.
yagami can’t reach him by his number (it’s out of service), so he comes to his house in ijincho. he isn’t home, but yagami waits for him. approaching his house, kuwana sees him sitting on the steps and asks, “did you not cuss me enough?” and everything he says is openly antagonizing. yagami tries to talk to him calmly, but with time kuwana, unyielding, starts to piss him off. yagami says something along, “and here i thought you’d want me to apologize to you” and storms out the house with an intention to drink this anger away and come back.
kuwana isn’t able to stop him (when he tries, yagami punches him in the nose so hard kuwana sees stars, and it starts bleeding), but he finds him leaning on the railing in the nearby parking lot, with cheep beer in his hands. “you didn’t escape far. feeling guilty?”, kuwana asks, meaning his injury. “yes,” yagami answers, meaning the argument that lead them to stop talking with each other.
kuwana asks to share his beer with him, to which yagami complies, and jokes about them having an indirect kiss. “so childish,” yagami says, “we are long past the age of indirect kisses.” “do you want an ‘adult’ kiss?” kuwana jokingly asks, falling into their playful type of talking naturally. “yes,” yagami answers, and kuwana hears no ridicule in turn. he kisses him and tries to say that he wanted to kiss him for as long as they know each other.
“i knew that all this time,” yagami interrupts him, “but i didn’t want a kiss from somebody who isn’t serious about it.” after kuwana’s question of what has changed, yagami answers, “because now i also know you want more from me than this, or sex, or whatever. makes kissing you a lot less disgusting.” kuwana laughs, and yagami steals this sound with another kiss.
#kuwagami#judge eyes#putting letters together one word at a time#it’s so hard not to fall into ooc territory with them#also because there is so little you can write about them that is 100% canon compliant#so fuck it we ball. kuwagami fluff be upon ye. or whatever#i swear it wasn’t supposed to be so long/detailed but#1) i think about kuwagami A LOT and DAILY but it mostly goes into the ever-changing and it’s a shame you can’t see the level of my insanity#(i was looking for something from the posted chapters yesterday for the part i was writing and-#(reread the part where kuwana says to yagami that he wasn’t making fun of him and that he IS pretty... no wonders girls are all over him...#(saying it endearingly... and it fucking obliterated me. i was like DUDE. GIRL. YOU WROTE THIS YOURSELF. ARE YOU OKAY)#(ah chapter 4... had a craving to start posting parts from the published chapters i loved the most-#(+the commentary on them but decided that nah who’d need that)#and 2) i have too many kwgm ideas that i won’t be able to write (not that i don’t want to) but writing down this idea-#(in a spur of inspiration lead me all the way to the end.)#so here it is. a plotbunny. which i put here. without any intention to make it into a proper fanfic#never would have guessed i’d stop being so greedy about my fic ideas and be able to post them without making it a proper story#but. as you can see. i stopped. i guess.
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biggest most petty pet peeve is ghostface being depicted as like Just Some Guy. like jus some rando sexyman w no actual face behind the mask just vibes. “imagine being ghostface’s subby kitten uwu” mf WHO?? WHICH ONE??? its a PERSONA not an exclusively male entity of its own!!! u could be talking abt like (13) diff people and (4) of those are chicks!!!
#im excluding greg and anyone from the scream tv show bc irdgaf abt allat#except eh piper was kinda cool lowkey. anyways tho. theres also MORE if u count them tho 😭#im also not counting sam getting in costume to kill wayne bc then id have to count sidney in 96 and as much as they both served down…nah 😭#and yall know what#i do not care for the dee🐝dee ‘ghostface’ at all#in fact he is at the scene of the crime w at least half of these kinds of posts so! 💀#but hell id even prefer if it was directly abt HIM as gf and not just the generic caricature#like if ur gonna horn out over his mori anim w the camera. might as well commit n jus specify u mean Danforth Jolsen or wtv the hell#his name is#it just irks me down so badddd yall i cant#like okay in theory whatever floats ur boat but#this is not me having a ‘moral’ objection to it. i just find it really mf annoying so im gonna complain 😭#like ghostface is a persona a costume all THAT. there is not like#a singular dude first name ghost last name face committing all these murders#if ur not gonna be lore accurate abt getting freaky deaky w gf pls keep it off my feed 😭#what the 2 year long hyperfixation does to a mf (saying stuff like the prev tag)#idc tho im right#argue w the wall or generic gf zaddy dom w washboard abs number 47#dont argue w me!#ceci speaks
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I have discovered the youtube audio library y'all I will be unstoppable now
#me since they introduced it: nah I won't bother looking at wtf that thing is I'm sure it's not worth it give me back my way to look up#what songs I can put in my videos without getting a strike dangit#me: *gets one (1) job where I need some music for my edit and asks the guy who used to do these videos before where to get music from*#me now scrolling through it: holy fuck this shit rules#Imma be a youtuber#dude they got funky shit in here I'm vibing to so much of this and they have classical famous pieces I'M JUST I AAHH#I'm stupid I've been stupid not using this so far aaahh
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Something about the way Ashton Frey has horrible self worth issues and constantly feels like he’s a bad friend and letting everyone down by existing wrong but also the way he shows his affection for his friends is by bothering them by invading their personal space crashing on their couch without asking first using stupid nicknames no one likes and like, they genuinely do get annoyed with him for this! But he lacks the social awareness to know where he’s gone wrong and just assumes he’s this horrible presence who inevitably ruins everything for everyone. It’s like he knows he’s annoying but doesn’t know WHY or how to make it stop. Good shit
#the klock keeps ticking#the letter#the letter vn#ashton frey#oh i feel the need to do some serious letter posting coming on#itll be me talking to myself per usual#but nah the autism it hits so hard just the feeling of thinking you have some curse that makes you ruin everything#and you just dont know why but everyone is mad at you and you think you deserve it#and the way a big part of his arc is learning to communicate honestly and learning his worth#and like the way he does have to take responsibility for times hes genuinely crossing boundaries with his friends#but also he doesnt have to take ALL the responsibility at the same time#i just love the way its done like he isnt absolved of blame but hes also not treated like some asshole#and hes loved so so deeply by his friends and he loves them so so deeply and its everyones responsibility to make that known#hes just so important to meeeee okay hes my funny guy hes literally ash from the lux city#such a cool dude pretty fly for an asian guy
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