thedevilsfamiliar

[thedevilsfamiliar]

✞ 666 ✞

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I can’t believe tumblr survived the instagram v tumblr war

I’m referencing this tiktok where OP was talking about how much instagram sucks now and is lowkey dying

[thedevilsfamiliar]

met a lesbian today who kept insisting I was masc cuz I was… tall. That all tall women are inherently masculine.

the replies were not kind to her 🗿

[thedevilsfamiliar]

[thedevilsfamiliar]

My friend, role playing: my character is vegan now

Me: ah, imma wait for this to cook

My friend, months later: I have quit eating meat

Me: I knew it you funky lil vegan

[thedevilsfamiliar]

My friend: come live in my basement

Me: no I feel awk

My friend: COME LIVE IN MY BASEMENT

Me: NO 😭

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I once had a conversation with my ex about deleting their intimate photos off my phone— as in, I had already deleted them as soon as the relationship ended 💀 mf had the audacity to say to me “I want you to keep them tho”

I DONT WANT EM??? What in tarnation 😭

(also it high key felt bad— I don’t wanna see your bare cheeks when I’m sad)

[thedevilsfamiliar]

im doomed by the narrative but the narrative is a bunch of conscious choices i've made in the past

[thedevilsfamiliar]

vulnerability is so important but I will not be partaking in it

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Last I checked, 78 confirmed dead, 28 of those being children. I’ve been keeping tabs on Kerr, San Angelo, Garner, New Braunfels… 26 feet of water in 45 minutes.

The cabins weren’t built into the ground but on cinder blocks— when the water rose, they floated away.

I keep seeing people saying that the people who died deserved it for voting for Trump, for being Christian, for being white and I’m just— I don’t understand.

People lost their lives. Children as young as 8 years old lost their lives. Families who were camping have lost their lives. I can’t imagine the grief these families are going through.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Knightfuckers and robotfuckers actually have alot in common. for example:

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

[thedevilsfamiliar]

saw an absolutely hilarious animal crossing theory that i now 100% accept and it’s that in the animal crossing world, humans are going extinct, and so all the animals have locked you in an elaborate zoo enclosure and are trying to give you enrichment. and that’s why they give you infinite pointless tasks, hide money in trees and rocks, invented debt that doesnt matter etc. it’s why they always act so happy to see you even after you raze the entire island, relocate their houses twice, and always act so pleased about your choices no matter what. it’s all to keep their little endangered human healthy and enriched. and thinking of it this way has genuinely improved my experience of the game

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I’m genuinely curious, has anybody ever played through Majora’s Mask and not been stressed out like… the whole time

[thedevilsfamiliar]

The Ring of Rage needs a babysitter.

The Ring of Rage, oddly semi-sapient in the way that all ghostly objects tend to be, keeps trying to break into the sarcophagus to get onto Pariah Dark's finger.

Normally, fine. Go sit on the finger of someone locked in Foreversleep, not like it'll change much. But if that ring manages to crack open Pariah Darks comfy forever-box, the Pariah Dark wakes up.

Again.

So Danny, as the current Ghostly Heir-Apparent, having earned his place as Pariah Dark's son by right of combat (ew), is tasked with wearing the Ring of Rage in the human world, so as to forcibly keep it away from Pariah Dark.

So Danny wears it, even though it clashes with a lot of his everyday clothes. Because, like, it does tend to look really evil and give off some bad vibes.

Danny isn't a huge fan of it, honestly. It feels mean to say he hates it, but it keeps trying to convince him to get angry over the dumbest shit.

Danny, as the Ghostly Heir-Apparent, is the only person or ghost who can wear it and not fall to temptation. The only person or ghost who's own personal power outweighs that of the Ring of Rage. So that's fun.

It's like a toddler following him around shouting intrusive thoughts, and Danny just has to keep ignoring it.

Honestly, the only good thing he can say about the ring is that it does the equivalent of a magical girl transformation; if he lets it release some of it's power, and uses it, he gets a red and black jumpsuit.

It's...alright. He guesses.

He stick to doing heroing in Phantom form, though. The red and black, on top of not really being his colors, feel like he's trying to step on the Red Huntress' toes.

So he wears it, but it never sees any use.

Until one day, as Danny is being dragged along to a Ghost Hunter Convention in New York City, a Green Lantern is thrown into the building next to him.

It's a Supervillain, and they're duking it out with said Green Lantern and really, really not caring about collateral.

Danny's parents are right there. They aren't about to let him out of their sights. New York City is huge and covered in CCTV, there's no way he can just...run away and disappear long enough to transform into Phantom. Not without some conspiracy theorist getting ahold of the CCTV footage leading up to him vanishing and Phantom showing up.

What are the chances of that like, actually happening?

Danny doesn't really know, but New York City has always been an exception for weird shit, so he feels like the possibility is distinctly higher than average.

He isn't gonna risk it.

Luckily, he can just do an Anime Magical Girl transformation into the Ring of Rage's fashion choice and use said ring to fight instead of his powers.

Damn.

Maybe it is actually useful for something. Huh.

He lets the Ring of Rage's power wash over him, the red and black jumpsuit replacing his clothes, and a red aura encompassing him as his feet leave the ground.

Granted, he isn't using the ring to fly, but his parents don't need to know that.

"Mom, dad, help the people to shelter; just like in the ghost attacks," Danny says, knowing that if anyone is qualified to herd terrified people to safety, it's literally anyone from Amity Park.

Or Gotham.

But fuck Gotham, and it's creepy BDSM furry brigade of vigilantes.

Dad looks up at him, teary eyed.

"Our little boy is a hero!" Mom cries, throwing up her hands triumphantly before grabbing his dad's arm and dragging him away.

"Don't get hurt now, Danno! Otherwise we'll have to step in!" His dad laughs, and Danny feels chills.

That...that would cause more damage than the Supervillain.

He can't let that happen.

Danny flies up and joins the fray, hyperaware of dodging the blasts and punches meant for him, and missing how the Green Lanterns around him hesitate when they notice he's there.

After two hours (he could have done this so much faster as Phantom, this is so tedious) the fight is over, and the villain of the week is in glowing green shackles.

Then the Green Lanterns, haggard and bleeding, turn on him.

"Surrender as compliantly as you've been so far, and we won't have any issues," one of them says, leveling their ring at Danny.

Danny, bewildered, slowly raises his hands in the air.

"What, did I...did I break a treaty with aliens or something? Is that uh...very professional looking and distinguished alien I just punched actually an ambassador?" Danny froze. "Can we please never, ever tell my parents if they are?"

"...Do you not feel, uh. I don't know. A very big compulsion to kill everyone and everything?" another Green Lantern asks, inching a little closer. "Or to laugh evilly, or something?"

"No?"

"Where did you get that ring, kid?"

Danny blinks.

"Oh, you're upset cuz of this thing? Yeah, alright, I'll just...take it off then," Danny shrugs, and as every single Green Lantern shouts at him not to do it, he slips it off of his finger, the red and black jumpsuit disappearing.

The Green Lanterns wince, pulling back like they're...waiting.

But nothing happens.

"Yeah, I'm just babysitting it so it doesn't wake up it's master. It's not mine."

Or; Danny, due to his Ghost powers/strength and being the Ghostly Heir Apparent, can not only resist the Red Lantern Ring he's inherited from Pariah Dark, but can take it off and not die. This causes concern amongst the Lantern Community. Especially when they learn that the Red Lantern Ring in question is semi-sapient.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

If this wasn’t clear enough, I fucking hate AI.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

“I used AI throughout my entire college experience” and any respect I held for you is lost. There it goes.