#that’s what I want the most
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If I try hard and want it bad enough I should be able to just get past and ignore my disability, that’s how it works, right?
#venting in the tags#I don’t expect to be cured or anything but I wish I could learn to manage it better#I hate just barely being able to keep myself alive let alone cleaning my apartment or dealing with bureaucratic stuff or socializing#or perhaps even fulfilling community activities#that’s what I want the most#but I’m so FUCKING tired all the time#I hate it#I feel so stupid for letting myself get infected with covid (no one else is stupid about it. just me)#long covid#disability#disabled#my post#personal
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i had a very hard week but at least i’m going to takarazuka this weekend [remembers it’s my favorite’s last show and i don’t know if i’ll ever see her onstage again and starts crying and crying and crying and crying and crying and]
#honestly whatever she wants to do she should do#that’s what i want the most#i’ll be sad if i can’t see her onstage again but i was so lucky to see her more than once#the memories will last forever
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#it’s so AOUGH!!!#especially mithrun and falin and thistle#but everyone has some element of this#it’s also so important that the characters in majority DONT get what they want#marcille never gets to even out the lifespan between races#falin is never returned to her pre chimera state#mithrun never got to truly be the version of himself he want to be#like idk i could go on#but there’s smthn to the fact that not all the problems are fixed#and actually most of the time it’s better they aren’t#IDKKKK IRS JUST SO AOUGH
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if you have a transfem lover I do not even know how to begin to explain how important it is that you touch her without her having to ask
#puppy barks#obviously like some people won't want that#but god what I wouldn't give to be fucking#explored? worshipped?#someone just grabbing me and feeling me like I'm the most beautiful creation on earth.#like they can't have enough of me.#and i hate feeling like I have to ask for it.#I want to feel like loving me like that comes naturally.
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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Cricket Cat concept. Do you see it? Do you see my vision? I don't think they'd purr or meow, just chirp with their wings.
#creature design#bug art#my art#i've been trying to CAPTURE WHAT I WANT in multiple sketchbook pages#i liked how these turned out#there may be an alternate version with the mandibles ... but i figured most people wouldn't find it charming like i would haha#it was interesting trying to imagine how those grasshopper like legs could be used in a cat like walking pattern#i love black cats and i love black crickets....#bugs#insect#it's a fictional bug of course but i'm tagging it just in case
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dropping this and fleeing like a deer in the woods
#this is literally the most shameless thing ive ever drawn#not in like a weird way but in a like 'i just really wanted to draw this for funsies and im also deeply embarassed but its fine' way#what ever im in too deep#i started thinking abt hades' tattoos in hadestown and blacked out for two hours#gravity falls#bill cipher#im a character designer i promise i promise i pr
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parenthood was not on my 2024 bingo card but clearly life is full of surprises
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 265#this chapter did the impossible and singlehandedly revived every one of my withered maternal instincts#he is so . SMALL hes so LITTLE i want to hug him i want to ruffle his hair sooooo bad sosoososbad#drawing kids is not smth i do often gsdfjkfjk im not used to drawing yuuji so . rounded.#hes so squishy....i want 2 knead him like dough.....#GOD HES SO CUTE I KEEP LOOKING AT HIM AND I WANT TO BITE HIM#the MOST baby boy . complete opposite vibe of baby megu anta dare but i LOVE HIM#cant believe sukuna looked @ that face and thought ya im gna beat up this preschooler gHJFJHJG#vine voice what would u do.....if there was a child right in front of u#edit forgot th pompom how dare i breathe actually
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saying “visual style" because, for example, if you would swap your current wardrobe for an identical, ethically made counterpart, there would be no visible change
#bearer of the curse#polls#I said a lot bc I don't wear a lot of what I enjoy due to sensory stuff and also like ... ethical considerations#btw I made this post bc I really don't like how some people think that people 'dress boring' simply bc theyre boring#like. fashion is not as accessible as it should be! to most people!#so i wanted to see how people felt#also fat people I love you I know a massive part of this inaccessibility is fatphobia in the fashion industry
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if i'm not DISGUSTINGLY in love with at least one (1) of the characters in any given piece of media it is not for me. if i have no one to crawl and weep for? can't get into it. if there is not one single character that makes me want to bash my head through a wall and then write ten thousand (fictional or academic) words about them then what is the point. respectfully
#I KNOW this is my own mental illness at work lest anyone lecture me on what makes media objectively good#I'm not saying it's bad I'm just saying I must suffer alongside the art or I don't want it#solas#emmrich volkarin#cullen rutherford#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#neve gallus#sorry I'm just listing all the characters that have done this to me most recently
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d12420be3d331ebfd73df6f9786ecf5c/839cebdda70a7880-67/s540x810/24e5d2271bdf82a2b8ae54b5ebe702a441f59feb.jpg)
Creature of Light lithograph
#most of the prints didnt turn out great so i edited them into an animation#flashing light#pulsing light#eye strain#strobing#lmk if theres other tags i should add lol i dont want to give anyone a seizure#art#lithograph#lithography#printmaking#illustration#shout out to my mom whos immediate reaction to seeing this was 'ew what is that'#the russian boomer mind cannot comprehend a weird genderthing with a sick ass sword
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HYUNJIN | "ATE" JACKET MAKING
#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids#skz#bystay#createskz#staysource#a9gifs#*gif#*ccarly#*hyunjin#*carly:hyunjin#me deciding i don't like the sharpening on these after i've gotten 80% thru coloring and can't go back anymore#whatever .#i want to gif more of this but also i don't if u know what i mean. KLJDLKFLSKGSD#this was the most important part to me we'll see if u get another set from me#*hits
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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