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#that’s it im starting a tag this exists now
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An Alert
info: this takes place during the VDC, and it's first person.
Also, please tell me if I didn't tag this properly.
Warnings: angst, with a pinch of comfort
word count: 700
Watching them perform from backstage was simultaneously enjoyable yet lonely. Looking between my friends and the crowd singing a lullaby (double check that) so well known it transcends countries, cultures, and languages, no matter how reminiscent or similar it is to songs I know, I just don’t know it. How can a song transcend planets, realities, and dimensions; it can’t. I’m the only one who doesn’t know it, not including the dire beast known as Grim, the only one who’s as clueless about this world as I am, even though he’s from it. Truly, moments such as these make me realize how much of an alien I am.  I’m the sole magicless student in a magic school. I was just about to start college because I graduated early from high school, and now here I am a high school freshman again, in a completely different reality, dimension. This whole thing has been a double-edged sword: being transported to a magical reality is any fantasy reader’s dream come true, but all the unknowns about what’s happening at home and the moments of realization about the massive cultural divides between me and everyone else is unpleasant, to say the least. However, seeing the joy on their faces right now, especially after everything that happened today, makes me treasure these moments and my new friends. My new friends are doing so much to make me feel a part of this place, showing me the “most important” movies, TV shows, and music to catch up on pop culture. Though I feel hollow at times due to the differences between this world and my own, they always manage to fill in that hole a bit. As I focus my mind back on their performance, my breath catches and my body freezes. The unmistakable sound of an emergency alert rings from MY PHONE. My phone, the one that I had on me when I arrived here, the very one that nothing worked on, but what was already downloaded onto it.  With shaking hands I pull out my phone, with much trepidation. Why was it working now? Was it able to connect back to my world, or is it connecting to something here? What’s the alert? If I wasn’t already sitting, I would’ve fallen onto the floor.  “Emergency Alert: incoming atomic bomb, please go to nearest shelter….” In this world of magic, nuclear power and warfare don’t exist: I checked. Trembling, and with deep breaths, I manage to unlock my phone, my eyes darting between the red dots on my messenger, the voicemail, and the news app, all of which hadn’t had that little red dot since I came here.  I go to my family group chat and text “Im safe and healthy calling mom.” As the phone rings, I  bolt to one of the backrooms in the stadium, locking the door behind me. The next couple of minutes blur together as I Facetime my mom, who’s with the rest of my family, explaining what happened to me and asking what's happening there. Raspy broken voices and tears aren’t acknowledged as we catch up and exchange “I love you’s”. The call disconnects, I call again, and again no answer. I call my other family, but the calls aren’t going through. I call my friends, but the calls aren’t going through still. I try every messenger app on my phone.  Nothing. There’s nothing. No connection, no way to reach them, no way to reach anyone.   It was how it was when I got here. The only thing that remains on my phone is what was already downloaded onto it.  I let out a soul-shivering wail. I drop my phone and curl up onto the couch clenching my knees to my chest and burying in my head as I sob.  The nuclear apocalypse happened, and I missed it… The doorknob jiggles.  The door temples as it’s banged on, and rammed against. The nuclear apocalypse happened, There’s no home to go back to... The door flies off its hinges.  I continue to mourn the death of my planet, my home, my life, my family as I feel arms wrap around me.
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best part of this hypothetical hockey au that’s now living in my head is jack and kath’s terrible choice in baby names
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inkskinned · 1 year
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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kaidatheghostdragon · 3 months
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Dani x Jason Prompt
(Because i dont see enough of these two together. Also, this is another prompt i found in my fic files that i never did anything with.)
While Danny is in Amity Park protecting the ghost portal, Dani explores the world. Danny might be powerful enough to put down any threat, even Ancients, but she isn't as lucky. Her best defense against Vlad or the GIW is to never be in the same place two days in a row. Not to say she isn't powerful in her own right - she's yet to meet a ghost in her travels that she couldn't utterly crush, and even if she had, she's got the most loyal dog in both this world and the next to have her six.
Dani has discovered a great deal of beauty throughout the world in her few short years of life, but also unfathomable evil and undescribable corruption. She does what she can in every place she passes through, her ghost powers the ultimate cheat code for investigation and subterfuge, bringing to light the things that once hid in the dark.
But while scoping out yet another child trafficking ring, she crosses paths with a spirit of vengeance. At least, that's the only explanation she can come up with for how he's able to turn his shock and horror into pure rage at the flip of a dime.
Until she realizes that he's a baby halfa. If he doesn't learn how to mediate his emotions, he's going to burn out one of his halves.
Maybe she can help him stabilize into a proper spirit of justice and keep him from following the path that Vlad went down - oh shit, he doesn't even know that he's undead. Well, this is going to be a project and a half. But Dani is nothing if not resourceful - she's more than willing to put in the work if it means making an ally of the fourth known halfa.
Featuring:
Dani and jason are about the same age (16-17ish)
They run into each other during jason's LoA-sponsored world tour, investigating the same trafficking ring
Cujo is there too
Dani totally helps with the crime lord grand plan, but also wrestles jason down from the more messed up family drama stuff he did, like attacking tim, and knocks some sense into him and finds a better solution for dealing with the joker
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 8 days
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
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lightbulb-warning · 2 months
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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mikiruma · 1 year
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hey reminder im doing $10 icon commissions, it's kind of a time sensitive emergency considering im jobhunting and don't have enough to pay either my car bill or rent this month, and also our landlord's threatening to evict me & my two roommates because fuck us i guess. literally anything helps i just don't want to be forced to move back to texas with my unsupportive family
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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keepinventory · 4 months
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dreams are so fucking evil. i had a dream i got a new baby sister and i got to bond with her and teach her things i wished someone would have told me when i was her age and i was wondering what she’ll be like in 18 years. and i just woke up crying because she’s not real…..
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killjoy-prince · 10 months
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After 10+ Long Rests to clear out any event that can override this one and another Duke rescue later, I finally got Wyll's last romance scene
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lecliss · 6 months
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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Btw sorry but unfortunately my mind is currently trapped between Shame™️ (over existing. Fuck being so socially anxious-) and Guilt✨️✨️(not doing said things) and Tireddddd (everything irl)-
Plus mother has decided to be extra homophobic nd shit the last couple days, and apparently me nd her *alone* r going to a fair together tmrw so. If I'm not responding 2 anything that is specificly plot/heavy/have to be somewhat mentally aware 4,, I'm sorry nd ill (probably. Hopefully??) be back on Saturday.
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kerizaret · 4 months
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I'm gonna start reblogging the fuck bugs post now whenever it is relevant to me again because of my god I cannot take this but at least I can be funny and remember that tsukasa Gets Me and feel a bit better
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redysetdare · 6 months
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never assume any of my posts are about Haz/bin hotel. I refuse to have anything of mine associated with that shit show. The ship discourse has been around way before it was even a thought and aroace and aroace coded characters have existed before it and will exist after it. This isn't new. this isn't a haz/bin exclusive problem. Do not assume that everyone who is in this conversation is talking about that show.
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thatonecrookedsmile · 6 months
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["So what can you expect in the coming months?"] ["…you never know!"] ["He’s always watching me..."] ["-I saw Mister Drew the other day…was meeting with that Connor fellow, holding some papers."] ["I think they saw me looking though…"] ["Just too many secrets being cooked up in the kitchen!"] ["If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was magic there."] ["A well calculated understanding between creation-"] ["-big things are coming!"] ["-and creator."] ["Massive things!"] ["That smile…"] ["..you just learn to go with it."] ["He’s always watching me..."] ["You just watch…"] ["I’ve got a good feeling something great is going to happen…”]
...
…How very interesting,such… knowledge.
{A message from Wilson Arch}
-----
Yoooo, guess who is having a birthday today. Me,obviously. :D
Oh, and Wilson too, I guess. If you wanna be THAT guy.
Remember when this video came out there were people who heard the voice at the end and thought the voice was either Sammy or the Ink Demon? Man, those were the days. However with all due respect, I'm glad neither case was right in the end lol.
On this day 5 years ago, "Unknown - April 14th" was posted on YouTube, which means it's been 5 damn years since we first heard from Wilson...
man, what a damn BABY MAN, am i right folks
It's interesting to think that even though it's been 5 years, we've only known who Wilson really is for 2 years now (or more appropriately, 1 year and 5 months of those 5 years). Of course, now, after BATDR was released, we know who he is and what his place is in the Bendy universe. But between April 1, 2019 and November 1, 2022, all we knew about him was that he…existed. He was someone - someone bad apparently - who sounded old and who would have some relevance in the plot of Dark Revival. And that's it. We had no name, no appearance, nothing. He was someone, but we didn't know who.
It's no wonder he was only referred to as "Unknown" by fans during these 3 and a half years.
In the end, I would say that this drawing is a mix of 2 things. The first being the result of an idea I've had for a while, which is basically making a drawing in relation to the original video/"unknown" tape, but this time with Wilson, since now we know it was recorded by him. Plus it's been 5 years since the original upload,5 years of Wilson. I think this would be the perfect time to do this.
And second, a strange kind of redux/homage/"final chapter" in this kind of "collection" of drawings I did between 2019 and 2022 all based on the idea of "the unknown weirdo from BATDR saying How Very Interesting Such Knowledge" and so on. All of them having other characters in mind in the role of the Unknown. And now, here I am, redoing this idea again, only with The Man Himself this time. The real Unknown. Now as the Known, so to speak.
Going back to what I said before, you can see this drawing as a kind of farewell to this particular idea that I've kind of repeated over the years, as I've now done it again only with Wilson this time. (Does this mean I'll never draw this concept/line of thought again? I mean, I assume so. But there's no guarantee I can't make something similar again down the line. Who knows what the future holds. We will see what happens in the next 5 years.)
But,yeah. 5 years of Such Knowledge™.
Have a good April Fools' Day.
(Also, there are still a few hours until the day ends where I live, so for me it's still April 1st, so yeah, this still counts)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#wilson arch#crookedsmileart#I'm going to start headcanon that Wilson's birthday is on April Fools. It fits him 😌#yo perspective SUCKS; who created this;i'm gonna beat them until there's no more.#also;lighting is so. hard;how do you all do it#Does anyone have tips for lighting; it would be a huge help /gen#also also;drawing the audio logs was a BATTLE. It was sooo boring; why do I do this to myself#so many details and I had to do it in 7 of them; and it's because these are the DR models;which have more details;#if I had to make them based on IM models I would probably make them simpler. But I wanted to be accurate :-)))#since we are on this subject (and I'm 99% sure of this)#Did you know that the textures in the audio log models used in the final game#are different to those used in the videos published between Feb and April 2019? and a little less detailed?#I realized this when I was looking for references for the drawing#the audio logs in those videos and the audio logs in the final game are not the same thing (at least in terms of texture)#Next time you play BATDR; think about this lol /hj#in retrospect; I don't think those audio logs published at the time would really be relevant to the game's plot#and I think that in the end their purpose was (besides worldbuilding i guess) just to tease the existence of Wilson#I still think that Joey's audio was supposed to be more of a meta thing since the real JDS was actually growing during that time#in my head; that at least makes sense (referring to the last 2 tags)#anyway;happy birthday Wilson;you old bitch#ok i finally post this;now back to the HOG
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northern-passage · 2 years
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"What are you thinking about?"
The question startles you - lost in your own head, you push off the railing, blinking down at the ocean waves as they roll beneath the icy dock.
Merry leans her hip against the railing at your side, crossing her arms as she waits for your answer.
"I don't know," you admit, avoiding her gaze. "Thinking about… something I can't quite remember," you say slowly, staring down at your hands.
That gets a noncommittal sound out of her. She turns to look out over the water, too, folding her hands in front of her, her elbows pressed against the railing.
"The sea does that to you," she says then, and you both lapse into silence, the docks swaying beneath you, the sky darkening overhead as the sun sets over the horizon.
Merry slides closer to you after a while, leaning against you, and you glance over at her to see her fidgeting with the ring hanging from her neck. She catches your eye, quickly tucking the ring back beneath her shirt and turning away.
"What are you thinking about?" you prompt, and it just gets you an annoyed look.
"Come on. It's getting late," she snaps, ignoring your question, and you sigh, pushing off the railing and following after her as she leads you from the docks and back into the city proper.
You move through back streets and dark alleys, keeping your head down as Merry guides you back to the shoddy inn you're staying in. You haven't run into any soldiers just yet, but you're not willing to push your luck. It's bad enough as it is.
Back at the inn, the others are already turned in for the evening, though you do check in briefly with Lea before making your way to your own room. There's not much else to do - you're meant to be laying low, hiding out in this shitty port city and avoiding the parade of soldiers passing up along the coast. But you're getting rather restless - and so is everyone else, for that matter.
You let out a long sigh, reluctantly preparing for bed, and it's a few more hours still until you are able to fall asleep, tossing and turning in your bed, listening to the distant ocean waves outside.
You don't get to sleep for long, though. A pounding on your door wakes you up, and you intend to ignore it, burying your face in your pillow - but minutes pass, and it doesn't stop.
"What the fuck," you hiss, throwing off your blankets and stomping across the room.
You rip the door open, scowling out into the hallway to see Merry.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" you snap, but she just shoves her way through the door, shouldering past you and stopping short in front of your fireplace.
For a despairing moment you think she might be drunk - but when she looks back over at you she is very clearly not, her eye sharp as she glares at you.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you!" she jabs a finger at you, and you just raise your hands, bewildered at her anger.
There's a sudden uncertainty that flickers across her face then, and she drops her hand, blinking over at you, taking a step back and shaking her head. You wait for her to say something - but she doesn't, instead turning back around to stare into the fire.
"What do you want, Merry?" you prompt, a little gentler this time, though your agitation is still apparent - you can't help it. When she still doesn't say anything, you begin to feel a little less forgiving.
"Merry." You take a step towards her, your voice hard. "Gods, you always do this," you scoff then, and that gets her to at least look at you again.
"How are you going to come in here like this and still stonewall me?"
"What were you thinking about earlier? At the docks?" she says after a long moment.
You blink, stunned into silence at the absurdity of it.
"What - Merry, I told you," you shake your head, running your hand over your face. "Is that what this is about? Have you just been stewing about that all night? I wasn't thinking about anything."
"I was thinking about you," she says softly, and you're stunned back into silence again, but only for a moment, before your anger returns.
"Yeah? Not Ronan?"
You think she's going to hit you for that, and maybe you'd deserve it.
"No. Ronan…" she starts, seems to consider her words for a moment - and then she does lunge at you, grabbing the front of your shirt, both of you staggering across the room until you bump into the corner table. But she stops short of anything else, just staring at her hands, at the straining fabric bundled in her fists.
"Ronan," she starts again, her voice tight, "I'm not ready to talk about Ronan yet."
That's the most she's ever even said about it - you still don't even know who Ronan is. Or was. Important enough to get their name tattooed on her neck, though. For her to still wear a ring around her neck. Merry drops her gaze then, and you reach up to put a hand over one of hers, her grip loosening on your shirt.
"I was thinking about you. What's going to happen when all of this is over," she says slowly, and then she lets go of you, pulling her hands back, your own hand dropping back to your side.
You realize then that she's leaving, reaching for the door, and you quickly step after her, grabbing her wrist without thinking.
"Merry, wait-" you barely say her name before she's spinning around, grabbing your shirt again, only this time she pulls you toward her instead of pushing you away, your bodies colliding and pressing together, one of her hands moving to grasp at the back of your neck and urge you even closer. You search her face, watching as she licks her lips, your breaths intermingling before you close the remaining space between you.
The kiss is rough, Merry's hand tightening as your own hands grasp at her hips, both of you tripping over each other as you move towards your bed. Her lips are soft, warm and wet against yours, and she teases you with her tongue, tasting you before she pulls back, dropping down onto the bed and dragging you after her.
You barely manage to catch yourself, hands on either side of her head as she reaches down to pull at your trousers. Your breath hitches as her knuckles brush against your bare stomach, her eye watching your face, your reaction, flicking to your lips as you lean closer.
She lets go of your trousers as you kiss her again, instead slipping her hands beneath your shirt, reaching up and dragging her nails down your back, the sharp pain getting a hiss of pleasure out of you. Merry's lips move against yours, and she swallows the sound with her own, moaning low in the back of her throat as you shift on top of her, your bodies pressed flush together, her heart beating loudly against yours.
She says your name then, turning her head slightly, and you pull back, breathless as you look down at her, her hands still trailing up and down your back, tracing the muscle there, her touch lighter as she skims over old scars. She presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, one more against the jagged scar along your jaw, and then she takes a deep breath, retracting her hands from beneath your shirt and rolling out from under you, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
You don't move, your breath caught in your throat, and you expect her to get up and leave then - as abrupt as she had arrived. You're burning under your clothes, her touch still lingering on your back, the prick of her nails no doubt leaving long red lines carved into your skin.
"Merry?" you say softly, sitting back on the bed, and she turns back to look at you over her shoulder, though the look she gives you indecipherable. Her breathing is still a little ragged, and she leans forward for a moment, as if to stand - but instead she lays back on the bed, reaching over to give you a very uncharacteristic kiss, your eyes fluttering closed as she cradles your face in her hands. She pushes you down against the pillows then, straddles your lap, pinning you beneath her with her hand moving to your throat.
You reach up to grab her arm, stroking the soft skin of her inner wrist with your thumb, feeling her pulse jump at the touch. And then the moment passes - whatever weird feeling constricting in your chest is replaced with the very familiar feeling of want as she pushes her weight down on you, her hand tightening around your throat, licking her lips as she leans in close and resumes the earlier urgency between you as if nothing had happened at all.
You can't ignore it later, though, when she thinks you're asleep, extracting herself from your arms and moving to sit on the edge of the bed again. You feel the mattress shift as she stands, hear her move around the room, collecting her clothes you both had enthusiastically discarded earlier. She gets dressed, pulls her boots back on, and then you hear her put a few logs on the fire - before the door opens and closes, leaving you all alone.
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