#that year like i died on the inside

[roscolate]

I’M LEGIT TEARING UP RIGHT NOW 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭

MY BOIS ARE BACK THE MARIO AND LUIGI RPGS ARE BACK OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS RN 😭😭😭

[steviesbicrisis]

Steve’s best relationship wasn’t even a relationship. He could barely call it a fling, a flirt. They never even went on a date. They never kissed.

Steve still thinks of it as the best whatever-it-is he has ever had with someone.

At the beginning it was mostly infuriating, how quickly Eddie managed to win the kids over, compared to Steve’s months of work as babysitter/nailbat swinger/monster fighter. Steve had to literally bleed multiple times to get an ounce of respect, Eddie only had to run a nerdy club about fictional bleeding and monster-fighting.

Then somehow, and Steve still has trouble pinpointing when and how it happened, everything changed.

Taking the kids back home from hellfire became something he impatiently waited for.

He and Eddie would barely talk for a few minutes and he would find himself replaying the conversation in his head for days. Anything he could say to get a reaction out of Eddie became fundamental, and if he started by picking subjects to piss him off, he ended learning about Eddie’s favorites, because few minutes after hellfire were never enough and Steve needed Eddie to talk as much as possible, until the kids were begging to drop it and go home.

Steve never questioned the change, most likely out of fear. He doesn’t think he ever was clueless, just really scared about what would potentially mean to be staring at another dude’s eyelashes as he goes on a rant about why Ozzy Osbourne is the best artist of his generation. Or blush whenever said dude would call him “baby”, or “sweetheart”.

Steve convinced himself that the thing he and Eddie were having was as good as it was going to get, nothing more.

Then Chrissy Cunningham died, Eddie ran, and Steve realized that the thing will never be enough for him.

He couldn’t not have Eddie. Not watch him as he entertains a bunch of freshmen, as he stomps with his worn out sneakers on top of forniture, as he puts his terrible music on to push away anyone who doesn’t care enough about him to stay.

Steve needed to see Eddie being alive, doing what his heart desires, and he needed to be next to him when he does.

Obviously, this realization came at the worst possible time.

Steve tried to tell him so many times: when they found him at the boathouse, when he was hiding at refer Rick’s house, when they were taking a stroll in the upside down, and even when they were driving a stolen trailer to a gunshop.

But, it seemed, Eddie had come to a realization just as important and he tried his best to avoid Steve at every given chance.

Steve tried to initiate the conversation as Eddie did his best to run away from it. And he ran until Steve had no chances left to tell him how he actually felt.

———

Steve doesn’t know if he’s allowed to say he lost something he never had. To mourn a relationship he never began. A partner that, technically, never became a partner.

After Eddie dies, Steve has no one to be next to but he can’t say he ever did.

Steve just exists waiting. He can’t tell if he’s waiting for the pain to go away or for Eddie to jump out of a bush and yell “ah! I got you sucker!! By the way, I’m in love with you too.”

For obvious reasons, that never happens.

What does happen, is a call.

It’s a normal Tuesday, as normal as you could define it after Hawkins almost collapsed into the upside down. Steve got into a routine, between checking on the ones at the hospital, helping out at the shelter, allowing Robin to check on him to see if he’s still alive.

The call happens while Robin is doing her kitchen check up - aka making sure he has food and that he’s eating it-, so she picks the phone like she did a million times before.

“Harrington residence, this is Robin” she says, cheerfully.

Steve doesn’t pay much attention to it as he’s folding his dad’s old clothes that intends to donate to the shelter, until he hears Robin’s loud gasp.

“What is it? Is it the hospital? Is it Max?” He rushes to the other room where Robin is.

She doesn’t answer but she gives him a look as she passes him the receiver.

Steve goes quiet, a million thoughts going through his head as he takes the phone from Robin.

He’s still unprepared when he hears that unmistakable voice “Baby”.

Steve gasps for breath “Eddie?”

Is that really you? What happened? Are you hurt? Isn’t this impossible? Is what goes on in Steve’s head, but he ends up just asking “are you okay?”

He can hear a chuckle, Eddie’s wicked chuckle, a further confirmation that it is him, “I’m- hanging in there… are you okay?”

Steve finds the question absurd. He isn’t the one who got left in the upside down, the one that got eaten by demonic bats, the one who died before Steve had the chance to tell him how he felt.

He answers truthfully nonetheless, “I’m… I’m not okay.”

“I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

“Please Eddie, come quick.”

“I’ll break the sound barrier for you.”

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Once I was scrolling thru naruto fics and saw the tag "buisnessman!Kakashi" and all I could think about was Kakashi being a child businessman, owning all the konoha adults at doing business while wearing an oversized suit and tie. That idea is so fucking funny to me.

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

"Uh, just this please," Steve said, handing the CD to the guy behind the counter.

He gave Steve a weird look. "Are you sure you want this?"

Steve nodded, sweating. "Yup."

"You do know it's Ozzy Osbourne, right?" the guy said, looking for the price. He glanced up at Steve; striped polo shirt, perfect swiped hair, and all. "It's not Wham! or ABBA. That'll be fifteen."

Steve handed him a twenty. "It's for my friend. He likes Ozzy. But he prefers Dio, but I much prefer Ozzy than Dio. So I will be buying this one, so I get to listen to it with him rather than having to listen to Dio." He took the bag the guy gave him. "But honestly, Mötley Crüe is my jam."

"Yeah man," the guy just looked weirded out, "here's your receipt."

Steve gave him finger guns. "Coolio, man," he said, trying to be slick, but he ended up tripping on the way out of the store.

[melrosing]

venting into the void

tmi on tumblr once again but idk im feeling fucked up actually bc it’s not just the grief at this point it’s that the whole business has been fucking traumatic. it’s not just that my dad died it’s that I’ve been watching him die for about a year and it’s been fucking awful. the disease completely deconstructed him as a human being and there was nothing we could do except watch it happen. like i am glad i was there for it, i will never ever regret being there, but I hate that any of this fucking happened at all. I hated the appointment where they told us he was going to die and then I’ve hated every appointment since where we’ve had to hold our breath waiting to see how soon. and I hate that no matter how much time goes by I’m still going to have memories of this awful fucking year and all the shit I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing. nasty!!!

[auriannaventiwithcaramel]

I JUST NOTICED JANE'S A CAR PLAYING AT THE END OF NPMD???

[yakultii]

random but i'm so curious as to know how your eyes look, the way you described them in the past have me intrigued

weird girl eyeball compilation

[errorsystemfailure]

clash of the titans

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[corvin-ito]

Something ive been thinking abt is the existance of sonic's "dont die outside your game" psa in the world of wreck-it ralph is the fact that. that psa existing means that characters dont instinctively know they wont respawn if they die in someone elses game.

someone had to find out permadeath was a thing for that psa to get made. maybe it was one of the enemies from q*bert and thats why they got unplugged?? (i am litterally looking at a q*bert wiki and wrong-way's trivia section mentions this theory so apparently im not alone in thinking that)

i know that the psa only exists because its for the people watching the movie to understand the characters could die, but it still very much implies someone died in universe for that psa to be made. which. fucked up honestly !!! i love thinking about the implications of wreck it ralph world building

[tangledstarlight]

its been like 4 years i promise i am soooo normal about julie and the phantoms now

[sleep-nurse]

uh. basically wtf is Wrong with her. like how did the Hima go from silly lil fella to Oh God (aka: i just need a short enough summary of the backstory where I can make lyrics about it i guess)

OHHHHHH HER GENERAL BACKSTORY? well. cracks knuckles

i've posted about it ages ago but here's a summary basically himawari was a girl who used to suffer from illnesses that mostly have to do with the digestive tract (just like me fr!!!!!!!!). her family wasn't the best at taking care of her either because her mom passed out when himawari was really young (like 2 years old) and her dad (miu akabara) is a busy scientist-doctor who works for a really long time. so she was hospitalised really often then one day at the age of 16 himawari died from gerd that progressed into esophageal cancer from too much acid exposure. the hospital akabara works in though works in a project that is aimed to transfer the memories & personality of a deceased person into a robot body who resembles them, which involves transferring their brain (if it hasn't been damaged yet). himawari was the first ''success'' of this project and is often nicknamed as ''the angel in a robot body'' because of this. i say ''success'' because himawari deals with the engine being fucky and that often leads to her being really distressed and sometimes it causes not so good incidents since himawari wanted to work as a nurse or a doctor ever since she was young, they decided that himawari was gonna be the mascot of the hospital and work in there as a nurse

[dark-elf-writes]

Sometimes I remember the president of the US is older than this fucker

HE WAS SIXTY NINE.

SIXTY NINE

THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE COULD REMEMBER THE BIRTH OF HUMANITY AND DIED ON THE FUCKING SEX NUMBER

FOR COMPARISON OROCHIMARU IS IN HIS SIXTIES IN BORUTO AND LOOKS FINE AS FUCK WHILE THIS MAN LOOKS LIKE THE CRUSTIEST MAN ALIVE

[alinedreams]

I love that Homestuck headcanon that goes like "Mituna isn't brain damaged, he's just autistic and constantly overwhelmed by his dumbass friends so he's under a freaking continuous meltdown" because dang, I can relate to it

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

[attractthecrows]

brooo i hate having Dreams That Piss You Off i woke up all pissed off at NOTHIIINNNNNGGGGG