#that would be me if i ever met milly
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this lives in my head rent free 🐐
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some more total drama 2023 characters cause drawing them once wasn`t enough to get it outta my system
#total drama#priya gets to show up twice cause shes that great <3#td mk#td emma#td priya#td millie#td julia#td chase#td ripper#td alex#do not be mistaken. me drawing chase does not mean I like him#if I ever met him irl it would be on sight
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oh my! what a naughty bunny!
synopsis﹒honkai star rail men n’ their bunny girlfriend !
pairings﹒boothill 、sunday 、dr ratio 、aventurine 、gallagher x bunny fem!reader
cw ﹒nsfw MDNI. unedited. mild dacryphilia ( dr ratio 、sunday ) 、mating press ( gallgaher . . . becuz he’s big ) 、spanking ( dr ratio ) 、fingering ( aventurine ) 、cunilingus ( aventurine ) 、blowie ( sunday ) 、dirty talk ( boothill ) 、 some of them tug on ur ears :> 、petnames ( bunny 、sugar 、etc ! )
note﹒i am slowly catchin’ up in honkai star rail so i decided tew write these ! ! :33 been thinkin’ hard about dis anyways so . . it doesn’t hurt to write a lil sumn ! mistakes might be found . . | reblogs are highly appreciated. feel free to send me an ask if you would like to talk t’me or send a thirst/rq ! — millie ♡
୨୧ 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋
boothill couldn't help but chuckle at your pathetic attempts to resist him, you were the one who wanted him first and begging for him to fuck you . . . why are you changing your mind now? your struggles were utterly adorable and only further fueled his desire. “oh sugar," he muttered gently, reaching out to cup your chin. his eyes softened as he looked into your tear-filled eyes. the cowboy knew your body was aching for release, the desperation and excitement coursing through your veins. "i can’t understand ya, baby," he whispered, leaning in close to your ear. "do you want me or nah? ‘cause i’ll walk ‘outta this room if you keep whinin’ and grindin’ against me like this, be vocal. tell me what ‘cha need.”
“n—no! don’t wanna!”
“don’t wanna what, bunny? use ya words.”
“i . . don’t want you to walk out . .”
“good girl. see, wasn’t s’ hard to use your words, yeah?” boothill chuckled, the sound rumbling deep within his chest as he met your gaze. His eyes darkened with desire, but there was still a playful twinkle within. “such a slutty bunny,” the cowboy gave you a wicked grin, his hand trailing down your exposed stomach, stopping just above your panties. the fabric was damp from your arousal, and he couldn't help but smirk. “listen baby, ima reward you if you're a good girl . . a real pleasure show for a real naughty bunny like you."
your ears twitched at his words, squealing when he pulled you even closer. “am not a naughty bunny . . .” “yeah? ya sure?” his voice dropped to a husky whisper, "we’ll see about that. we’ll see how long you’ll last with my cock inside this pussy. trust me, sugar . . . you'll enjoy it more than you ever thought possible. just like the slutty and naughty bunny you are.”
୨୧ 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘
“now now, don’t cry," sunday soothed, his voice low and sultry. “we’ve got a lot of time tonight, sweetheart. maybe i’ll teach you a few lessons on how to suck on my cock properly . . you’re quite sloppy, my beloved.” sunday echoed, his monotone voice full of amusement as he leaned down, capturing your tearful gaze with his own. he gently lifted your chin, his thumb wiping away a stray crystal tear. his dick twitched in your throat when he kept his gaze on your teary eyed face . . fuck. he wanted to see more of that. “beloved . . .” he cooed, feeling the rush of pleasure course through his body as he thrust into your warm, wet throat . . his hand slowly wrapping itself around both your cute little rabbit ears, tugging you forward. he could feel you struggle, the way you gagged and choked on his length, it sent a thrill of excitement through him. your boyfriend gripped your ears tighter, guiding the movement as his thrusts grew eager.
“that’s it, angel, take it. take all of it.” sunday murmured, his voice hoarse with lust. at this point, he could feel his release building up, the tension coiling in his gut. “swallow it, choke on it, make it yours." the halovian male slammed into your poor little throat, knowing he owes you warm tea and breakfast the next morning! your moans were heavily muffled by his thick cock filling your throat. the mere sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room, punctuated by sunday’s grunts and your whines, increasing the tears that spilled from your pretty eyes. the wave of ecstasy crashing over your boyfriend and you knew it. his orgasm hit him like a foreign train, flooding your throat with his essence . . . holding you in place by your bunny ears.
“mmh . . . that was good, my little angel." his hand traced over your cheek, “but we might have to work on your gag reflex.”
୨୧ 𝐃𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎
SMACK! a loud sound reverberated around the room . . your fluffy white tail twitched in veritas’ hold. with a force of movement, he pulled you up . . . using your tail as a leverage as he chuckled, smacking your ass again . . . you could almost feel it warming up. “naughty bunny you are. you thought it was a good idea to send me erotic pictures?” veritas’ fingers worked on your skirt, pulling it up and off. he discarded it on the floor of your shared room, leaving you in your underwear. dr ratio couldn’t help but bite his lip at the sight of your tears streaming down your face, murmuring pleas for him to pound you. aeons . . . you were such a naughty bunny. the naughtiest bunny he’d ever come across. " . . . foolish girl. your desires have consequences," he growled, “you’re a naughty slut. it’s like you’re begging me to pound you when you cry like that . . .” he adjusted himself, positioning himself at your entrance.
he raised a brow, admiring your precious submission he yearned for. the sight of you pleading for more, bunny ears twitching, breasts bouncing invitingly, your sparkly-like eyes that produced tears, sent shivers down his spine. he leaned up, capturing your mouth in a bruising kiss. his tongue delved deep, tasting his bunny’s need and desire. dr ratio wanted to push you further, testing how far he could take you before breaking point. pulling away, his large hands found themselves on your ass again, running his hands along your flesh . . , raising it for another smack. “you’re insatiable, aren't you? let me remind you again, girl, bad bunnies get punished for being naughty. or have you forgotten that?”
୨୧ 𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄
your boyfriend’s eyes lit up at the sight of your pussy, glistening with desire. he loved every part of you, basking in the warmth of your body as he chuckled . . . reaching up to caress your little ears that he wouldn’t trade for anything else. “damn, you're soaked," he murmured, licking his lips. "i can't wait to taste you.” aventurine moved closer between your legs, pushing your thighs apart further with a smirk, flicking your bud with his thumb. “spread them wider for me, bunny." aventurine’s eyes widened as he saw how wet you were. he had to fight the urge to dive headfirst into your pussy. he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "you’re so ready for me, aren't you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. with an eager nod, he slowly slipped his two fingers inside, filling you up pure lustrous intent. “m—more ‘turine . . .” a soft chuckle emitted from your boyfriend as he lowered his head, licking your inner thighs. "i know bunny, i know what i’m doing.” but yet, he wanted to hear you beg for it, to know that you desired him as much as he did you.
“c’mon baby . . . say this for me.” his tongue flicked against your outer lips, tasting your sweet nectar. "say . . “please, aven” . . .” he begged himself. "eat me out." his eyes fluttered open, narrowing dangerously . . . he couldn’t help but devour you with his gaze. “ . . please aven . . ‘w—want you to eat me out.” “that’s my good bunny.” aventurine’s tongue darted painfully slowly in and out of your pussy, teasing your walls. as he licked and sucked your clit, his fingers explored the depths inside your pussy, the gambler wanted to touch every inch of you, to know your body better than his own. he was determined to make you cum hard, just like he knew you'd make him. although in the back of his mind, he knew he had to fill out the paperwork that’s been due for days! but right now, all he cared about was making his cute bunny scream his name. he wanted to make you forget about everything else in the world in that dumb little head of yours except for him.
୨୧ 𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐑
you were so small against him. not only was he obsessed with your cute lil’ rabbit features, he was also obsessed with how cute and adorable you were against him, legs he had to restrain with his own hands due to you moving around too much . . . your cries echoed in the room, punctuating your passionate lovemaking. each groan fueled his dominance, reinforcing his love for you. gallagher gently placed his hand over the bulge on your belly, biting his lip at the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of your belly, grunting when he caught sight of your ears twitching. shit, you were adorable. “fuck, you’re fuckin’ tiny, baby, i could break you whenever i please if i wanted to.” his cock reached the deepest parts of your pussy in this position, knowing he wouldn’t last long with your legs pinned up against the mattress.
with a tug of your ears, gallagher savored the sound of your cries, your body folding under his weight . . your pussy taking his big dick so well heightened his arousal, driving him further into depravity. his thrusts grew more fervent, each one a declaration of love. “. . ‘m foldin’ you left and right, baby. see how good your pussy sucks it in?” with a growl, his hand gripped your ears lightly . . . sparking something primal within him. gallagher kissed you roughly like a starved man, bruising lips colliding fiercely with yours as his tongue invaded your mouth. the harsh mating press position made it harder for you to move around, trying to keep up with his harsh movements and thrusts at the same time! heavy breathing filled the room, punctuated by occasional cries of lust and pleasure. gallagher was taking what he wanted, his lil’ bunny girlfriend.
© 6GUMI. please do not modify 、translate 、share my works on other platforms 、or consider them as yours.
#millie’s writings ✔︎#took so long . . . so sorrie every1 ! !#honkai star rail#hsr smut#dr ratio smut#hsr x reader#dr ratio x reader#honkai star rail smut#sunday smut#boothill smut#sunday x reader#aventurine x reader#gallagher smut#aventurine smut#gallagher x reader#boothill x reader
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Inevitable Social Class Take/Why Ghostfuckers Solidified My Need for Blitz to Be "Just an Imp"
There's been discourse since . . . before I ever watched Helluva Boss, on whether Blitz might be half or one quarter incubus, based on a family portrait where his mother, Tilla, looks unusually tall, and her horns lack the thin white stripes usually seen on female imp horns, making them look more like succubus horns. After Ghostfuckers, where Tilla appeared with the stripes on her horns, people are saying that the theory is unlikely. I say GOOD.
Now, let me solidify before I get into this that it's not that I think hybrid imps in Hell aren't also looked down on or treated like shit (look at Striker and the number Hell's society has done on him). It's that Blitz being an incubus hybrid would suggest that he has magical powers of a sort, and that takes away a bit from what I think is so awesome about him.
He has no powers. Only his skill, creativity, spontaneity, optimism, intelligence, and heart. What he does, and what he is at his core, utterly disproves Hell's prejudices about imps and their "purpose."
In the flashback to the time when Blitz and Millie met, Millie flat-out refuses to believe that Blitz works for himself. Because imps work for demons higher in Hell's hierarchy-- it's how the society works.
Blitz could so easily present himself as an exception here (special parentage or no), but instead he presents his worldview as an alternative to what he and Millie have both been taught. Essentially: I can do it. So WE can do it. SO LET'S CHANGE OUR WORLD.
Later, he gives Millie a pep talk that solidifies this worthiness idea.
The idea is really deeply ingrained . . . yikes. But Blitz will have none of it.
And that's what makes him special. Not that he's better than anyone else. The way that he can see beyond prescribed roles and defy society's expectations. And help others see themselves as worthy of doing this too!
Also. ALSO Blitz says he's as fuckable and business savy as any succubus. Which one COULD argue means he's similar to them or has some of their powers. OR it's essentially "I can do what they do without their powers hahaha FUCK LIMITATIONS." (The second is the more empowering option in my opinion.)
He's breaking down society's prejudices one imp assassin at a time! Would this be possible if Blitz were a hybrid and had special powers? Sure. But I definitely think it's more powerful FOR MILLIE without that. If Blitz can be this capable and confident, so can she.
Okay-- that brings us to the final confrontation with Rolando. This guy seems to really buy into Hell's typical attitude toward imps.
Thematically, he's throwing the typical prejudices at them and using his "higher demon" powers to intimidate and seemingly easily defeat them.x
But what defeats him?
Millie's confidence that Blitz inspired, that she believes at her very core, even if she still carries some insecurities.
And Blitz . . . well . . . thinking outside the box and dropping the vacuum cleaner ghostsucker thing in the pool.
Rolando gives Blitz a look like "nice display of confidence- you've got nothing."
And Blitz notices something he can use . . .
And frankly obliterates the guy.
So what's the antidote to the racism and social class issues in Hell? Well they'll probably be around for some time, just like the ones in our society. But they can be challenged for now by the gang just being their fantastic selves- Millie being strong and self-assured, and Blitz being innovative in the moment. And Loona and Moxxie doing SOMETHING when they come back into action. xD
And all of them believing that they're worthy.
#I.M.P.#My helluva meta#my unpopular opinions?#blitzo buckzo#blitzo#blitz#millie#helluva millie#helluva boss#ghostfuckers#ghostfuckers spoilers
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"We aren't a family, sir!"
"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees!"
"Who's that?"
"Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare. Serious attitude problems... She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out. Good riddance, if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much."
"Fuck, Blitzo! Why can't you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?!"
"Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something!"
"Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!"
"It still counts!"
"Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't, now!"
"I love you, dad."
"Okay, not much of a talker, are you? I'm Blitzo, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-"
"I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure!"
"Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset."
"We've never dealt with the human government before! She's in danger!"
"Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?! It's always "Oh, how's Millie?" "I can't tonight. I'm hangin' with Millie!" "I'm so worried about Millie!" And she's ALWAYS... FIVE FUCKIN' FEET away from you! It's pathetic!"
"Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?"
"Not really..."
"I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but... you said that because I needed it... And it helped."
"Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out."
"Thank you, sir."
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Someone with an eye for potential. Now you wanna keep working for peanuts, or do you want to shake things up?"
"I'm done. I don't wanna play ghost hunter with you, and I-"
"Uh, it's ghost-fuckers"
"I wasn't done! You know, I always love to have fun with you, and I ain't said boo to you moping around like a sad sack for weeks. But we have bills to pay... So look, you can go be pathetic and play sex ghosts, if that's what you need to do, but I gotta get this job done!"
"Fine! Who needs you anyway!? Bethany Ghost-Fucker works ALONE!"
"We're just Wrathians, Blitz. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for. It's why you hired me. Any demon good at making a buck is welcome in Lust or Greed, but here? Demons like us ain't cut out for this."
"Uh... fuck you!"
"What?"
"Millie, I have spent too much of my time, energy, and holes into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit. I brought you into this company for a reason, okay? You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring..."
"Look. What I said earlier, you've just always been so unbothered by everything. Almost bulletproof and, I guess I never realized how much I depended on that. I didn't know how to react to you being reduced to…Bethany. But I should've respected you like you always do for me. I'm sorry."
"NO! Not them, Your Highness! It was me, it was all me, okay? Y-you can't expect to teach anyone a lesson by killing all of us!"
"You dare try to tell me how to PUNISH!?"
"Look, all that Hell is gonna see is you executing imps who are just trying to do their job! I'm the rogue here, not them!"
"Blitz, what are you doing?"
"Your Highness, please. Blitz just--"
"Moxxie, stop."
"Blitz, I can't let you-"
"This big red bitch never planned on hearing us out... Just... just take care of Loona for me."
"I love you, guys."
"Sir-sir, you're here!"
"Dad!"
"Don't you ever do that to me again, you fucking idiot!"
Moxxie was right, they are most definitely not a family. /sarcasm
#helluva boss#blitzo#blitzø#helluva boss blitz#ro rambles#helluva blitz#moxxie knolastname#helluva boss moxxie#millie helluva boss#helluva millie#helluva loona#loona#IMP#I.M.P
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𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥?・l.f.
— You never once thought you would meet Lee Felix, especially not while watching an edit of his abs
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠・lee felix x fem!reader // 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐬・fluff, crack, first meetings // 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬・723 // 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬・an obscene amount of the word fuck, felix is lowkey really flirty, felix is described as being your "teenage crush" and I didn't even know they existed when I was a teenager but shhhh.
𝐚/𝐧・I wrote this on the bus, lmaoo when I was watching an edit of Felix's abs and thought, What if he saw me doing this? Then, poof, a fic was born.
"You know, it's a lot better in person."
See, out of all the silly little fantasies you had conjured up in your delulu teenage years, you had never once imagined you would meet Lee Fucking Felix while staring at an edit of his abs, hence the humiliating screech that flies from your mouth as you jump about 10 feet off the bench.
Your first reaction is, what the fuck, your second is, why are you here, and the third comes out a little like, "What the—why are you—what the actual fuck?"
It takes a solid 20 mortifying seconds for you to realize that your phone is still playing Lah Pat and Flo Milli's Rodeo during the awkward standoff—between you, the park bench, and this architectural phenomenon of a man. Cue your clamor of limbs desperately trying to shut the damn thing off. Felix’s mirth is transparent, bleeding through his splayed fingers as he uselessly tries to stifle his shocked laughter.
Words are unattainable at that moment; any sense of coherent vocabulary flies out of your gaping jaw as your expression performs facial gymnastics, trying to calculate what the hell is happening right now.
"So wait, you're like real?" you blurt, eyes narrowed like a crazy lady genuinely questioning all planes of existence.
In her defense, your honor, she just met Lee Felix. Look at the man—there's no way he exists on the same planet as us!
He blinks, utterly dumbfounded by your sudden inquiry. "Well, yeah?"
"Wow." That's all you say. Wow. What else can you say? You're still convinced this is all a simulation created by some sadistic scientist.
"What, did you just think I didn’t exist or something?" he chuckles, amber eyes crinkled in amusement.
"Well, I don’t know," you shrug. "I didn’t think I’d ever see you in real life, let alone talk to you."
"Well, I never thought I’d catch such a pretty girl watching edits of my abs in real life, but hey, here we are." His lips form an absolutely perfect smirk, and there's a moment, where his irises catch the light just right; that you can almost make out a flirtatious glint in them—
You pinch yourself—really pinch yourself. Hard. In the thigh. So hard you flinch, and it’s such a big flinch that he notices. He notices so much that he laughs—not warm chuckles, not soft giggles, but a rib-splitting, belly-doubling guffaw that makes you want to crawl into the ground and engrave on your own epigraph: "Death by Hot Guy."
"I—I’m sorry, I—I can’t—" he wheezes. "D-Did you actually just pinch yourself?" The question is purely rhetorical, but that doesn't stop your entire face from flushing about as red as Hyunjin's hair during the Maniac tour.
"Yes!! Lee Fucking Felix just called me pretty! What do you want me to do?? You’re lucky I’m even standing on my own two feet right now!!" You’re sputtering so much nonsense that even you don’t know what you’re talking about. He doesn’t seem to mind—quite the contrary, really. He gazes at you through his brow, strands of golden hair falling over his ears. His laughter fizzles out into a grin—flattered, bashful, and undeniably tender.
Is it too early to start thinking about vows?
Felix clears his throat, and you’re caught off guard by his expression: nervous yet contemplative, as if he’s battling with his next statement. With an anxious titter, he asks, "What’s your name?"
It takes a solid couple of pounding heartbeats to dislodge the answer from your throat, but when you do—“Y/N. My name is Y/N”—my, does heaven sing.
He takes a single step forward before averting his eyes in silent consideration. Whatever was stopping him isn’t anymore, because it takes him about two more steps to close the gap between you, placing a gentle hand on the slope of your shoulder. Your entire body bursts into flames.
Is this real? Is this planet Earth? Have you ever noticed that on his left cheek, if you observe long enough, you can almost make out the Little Dipper in his freckles?
"That’s a pretty name," he smiles, and you swear you see the sun. "Y/N, I was just on my way to the café. Would you like to accompany me on said adventure?"
And that, kids, is how I met your father.
haha this was so silly to write I hope you liked it even though it was a little really caotic
Wanna read something longer? read rewrite the ending in every lifetime a tale of trauma, healing, and felix finding your soul in every lifetime.
#felix x reader#lee felix x reader#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#felix imagines#lee felix imagines#felix scenarios#lee felix scenarios#stray kids scenarios#felix fluff#lee felix fluff#stray kids fluff#lee felix#stray kids#skz fluff#kpop#skz#lee felix x y/n#lee felix x you#felix x you#felix x y/n
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hiiiiiiiiiiii millie mouse!!!!! hope you’re doing good bb :) i’m craving some billy fluff :( could you write up a lil something about billy babying reader a lil, maybes she upset about something? i just need some good old millie’s billy :(
-🧸🎀
ofc lovey! also oh millie's billy made me smile <3 <3
౨ৎ꣑ৎbilly babying you౨ৎ꣑ৎ fem reader x billy the kid
Shutting the door behind you and dropping your bag, you fled into the bedroom, flopping down face first atop the sheets you’d painstakingly straightened this morning. You could hear Billy in the other room, likely just coming in from a day outside, but you didn’t make a move. After today, you wanted but a few moments of peace before having to explain yourself.
It was always something when you went into town. Some apparent wrong move or gesture or word that stemmed from you, all criticized no matter what. You tried to be kind. All you ever wanted to be was kind. But it never seemed to be enough. You’d observed the other townspeople and tried to mimic them. After all, you weren’t born and raised here like so many of the other women, so maybe it was that you didn’t understand the dynamics yet.
But still nothing worked. You were shunned, even spoken cruelly to. Today, when you’d been purchasing a spool of yarn, you had complimented the dress of the woman ringing you up, and had been met with a frosty glare, a snipped one word answer.
All the way home you’d held it together, gripping the reins of your horse and trying not to cry over something so stupid. It wasn’t their fault- maybe you needed to be nicer, do some of the same activities they did. Still, tears poked at your eyes, and you didn’t let yourself cry until you were inside, even though there weren’t any neighbors for miles.
There was a wet spot in the bed where your tears had soaked in, and you burnt with shame over it. Covering it with your arms, you buried your face into them, back trembling as you let out everything suppressed from the second you stepped into the store. You hated that you were upset over this when you were the one who’d done something wrong. The only problem was that you couldn’t figure out what it was, and the frustration only made you cry more.
The bedroom door was opened, and you tried to slow down your crying to no avail. There was one set of footsteps, along with the pitter-patter of four paws on the floor. A weight was deposited on the bed, soft fur rubbing against your head as a throaty purr started up. When you felt a second tail brush against your back, you realized Billy must have carried one cat in while the other followed.
When his big, warm palm settled on your back, you sniffled, another bout of tears welling up. He gathered your hair, smoothing it carefully and pushing it to the side so he could rub your back. All the while, the two cats purred and nuzzled at your head, causing you to look up, lips twitching when you saw Willow’s pretty face and sleepy eyes. She must have been the one Billy carried in. Fish only teamed up with him when you were in distress, and even then that courtesy did not extend to picking-up privileges.
Billy continued his stroking as you sat up, leaning into him and wrapping your arms around his neck. The material of his shirt was worn from years of use, but you found comfort in familiarity. His hair was a mess from being under his hat, and one set of your fingers found the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He held you gently, starting to rock back and forth. It was a go-to when you were upset, and for a reason. Your tears began to slow down, softened by his love.
“Thought the cats might help,” he murmured into your hair, and a little laugh escaped you.
“They did,” you said, muffled by his chest. “You all did.”
Pulling back, you looked up into his eyes, seeing them brimming with worry the way you knew they would. He caught a stray tear with his thumb, smoothing over your cheekbone. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” you promised, and he visibly relaxed, just a little. Reaching up to hold his wrist, you could feel it all at the tip of your tongue, about to spill over. He had that effect on you, where you wanted to tell him everything. Billy softened the protective walls you’d built, found a key to your locked doors and asked if he could use it. But you found yourself letting him in anyways every time.
“I want them to like me,” you whispered, cheeks going rosy as you looked down. It was such a silly thing to cry over, but he didn’t act as though he thought so. “The people in town. I don’t know what I did wrong-“
“Nothing.” Billy cut you off, cupping your cheek as Fish rubbed at your side, prompting you to give him a scratch under the chin. “Baby you couldn’ta done anything wrong. Look at you.” He lifted his other hand, giving it a home at the other side of your face. “My perfect girl…couldn’t do bad if you tried.”
A weak smile lifted your lips. “I must have.”
His expression grew somber, and he exhaled softly, searching your eyes. “Honey…ain’t nothin’ you did, alright? If I know you I know you’ve been sweet as can be.” Billy brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, returning his hand to your cheek. “But some folks don’t like that I’m around.”
The pang in your heart stilled you for a moment. Just by the look in his eyes you knew he was telling the truth, but it wasn’t one you wanted to hear. He was trying to tell you it wasn’t your fault, but now you wanted it to be. It would be so much easier if it was something you could fix.
Reminders that not everybody loved him the way you did came often from all directions, and you avoided them at every turn. Refused to believe people could be so cruel, so critical of someone they hadn’t even met, who hadn’t done any wrong by the law for several years now. But it caught up everywhere you went, driving you to move around wherever the wind blew, hoping this would be the town where nobody had heard of him.
He’d promised this place would be special. That this was a place for staying. You’d settled in happily, believing him the way you always did. Billy avoided town as much as he could, so you had been positive that there wasn’t any reason to be cruel towards him. But now you’d been proved wrong. Even sparingly, they would always find a way.
Seeing the realization in your eyes, Billy pulled you in again, holding you tight to his chest. He dropped his lips to the top of your head, nose buried in your hair. “It’s not you, darlin’. Never you. They can’t get to me so they figure you’re the next best thing. It ain’t right, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Your tears fell silently as a rush of shame washed over you. He was guilty because you hadn’t been able to handle yourself over one person’s unkindness. Slumping against his chest, you let him pull you onto his lap as he settled on the bed, the telltale thump of his boots hitting the floor as he nudged them off. Billy scooted back against the headboard, hauling you up under your arms and setting you back on his thighs, face hidden in his shoulder.
“You shouldn’t be punished for lovin’ someone,” he breathed, fingers bunching up and down over the space between your shoulders. “For seein’ good in every damn person. That’s just who you are and you should be praised for it. Not shunned. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”
Shaking your head, you clung to his collar, nuzzling against his neck. “It’s not your fault.”
“Shh,” Billy soothed, laying another kiss to your hair. “It’s okay, sweet girl. It’s okay.” His thumb rubbed a relaxing path over your shoulder as you melted into him, calming as you became consumed by his presence.
The problem surrounded your bubble like a storm cloud, but you ignored it, choosing to revel in what you had. The man you loved, comforting you, letting you lean on him when you were upset. And it was bothering him too, you could feel the tension in his body, swept under the rug in favor of keeping you relaxed.
Fish and Willow curled up around you both, their sleepy purring only helping you further calm down. Billy kept you laying against his chest, his voice dropping to a whisper with the last of your tears and sniffling. “I know baby, I know.” He shifted slowly so that you were lying down on top of him, body between his lazily spread legs. “Shh, it’s okay.”
And it was. It all melted away as you snuggled into his chest, everything the world thought of you and him suddenly nothing.
There was only him and you and your cats, safely stowed away where nobody could touch you.
#🧸🎀 anon#billy the kid#billy the kid fanfiction#billy the kid x reader#billy the kid x you#billy the kid 2022#billy the kid imagine#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth#billy bonney x reader#billy bonney#billy the kid tom blyth#milliesfishes billy
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There’s a Heat Between Us, You Must Admit
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Plus size!rader
Characters: Plus size!reader, Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, Mildred “Millie” Nightington (reader’s cousin), Bernard (the servant), Eloise Bridgerton, Francesca Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Simon Bassett, Augie Bassett
Warnings: Anthony is an idiot, the bee scene (mainly from the book scene), drama, Daphne doesn’t want to see her friend end up alone, reader gives Anthony the biggest side eye ever, reader and Anthony are idiots, Millie is a sweetheart, reader and Anthony are competitive, the sideburns line was something I learned about, reader is stubborn, Anthony is oddly very emotional in this, reader knows a lot of things, reader doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions, pregnancy scare, the pregnancy scare reminds me of a sitcom
Word Count: 13,647
A/N: Reader’s last name is Starlington and also, super excited to have finally finished this one.
*1,700 follower celebration post*
Also, Happy Valentine’s day!!
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Sometimes you loved your dear friend Daphne and other times you didn't, right now for example, you don't.
Honestly you don’t know how this got brought up (again) but you’d wish she would stop; it’s not going to happen even if she wants you to officially join her family.
You knew her being the first to marry out of the two of you was going to lead to more of her shenanigans, but this was too much for you.
You sigh, setting your cup down to look her in the eyes, “I have no plans on being in this season.”
Her shoulder sagged, “I understand that but-”
“But, nothing. Daphne, I am more than content with my being staying very much untied to a man. If I happen to meet someone worth it, you’ll know.”
-
Anthony glances over in your direction and his mind goes elsewhere.
You’re his sister’s best friend who also became Benedict’s best friend soon after you met the rest of his family.
He isn’t particularly upset at the fact that you’ve managed to befriend his siblings (slightly better than he could) but, there’s something that keeps bringing a certain idea to the front of his mind.
“Are you going to take your turn or continue staring?” Benedict asks.
The eldest shrugs off his brother’s comment.
Anthony uses the dreaded “death mallet” and once again, manages to pass the others.
-
Daphne heads towards her siblings before they can scream and shout at her for sitting down instead of taking her turn.
You sigh, shoulders sagging because you know she means no harm; you know that but, you can’t force yourself to love and care for someone you don’t have feelings for.
You’d never admit it (out loud or to her) but there are nights where you do wonder how it would be if you did get married to someone you loved.
The concerning part is how her brother sneaks into your mind; not your closest friend, Benedict, or the third oldest, Colin, and of course not, Gregory.
No, Anthony is the one to invade your mind and corrupt your dreams with his charming smile and smooth movements.
And you would never dare tell Daphne or your cousin of your thoughts; no matter how hard she tries to convince you he feels something for you.
You take a deep breath, returning your focus onto the game only to meet a pair of oak brown eyes gazing upon you.
You tear your gaze away at the sounds of Violet walking down the stairs, carrying a smiling Augie in her arms earning a smile from you as you observe the happy baby.
You glance towards her and offer a polite smile, giving her a moment to settle down in the free chair before turning to focus on the young babe. “Hello, Augie,” you greet him with a baby tone and shake his chubby fingers.
“He’s always taken with you,” Violet comments.
“I am the one who always manages to search for his mother when he cries for her. Sometimes I believe myself to be a dog.”
She chuckles, “that’s not it.”
“Why else would he like me?”
“You have a natural instinct that he senses. Children know these things.”
“If that’s what you say.”
Daphne steps away from the others, wanting to see her child. “She is right, you know.”
“Not you too,” you groan.
“You will make a fantastic mother.”
“Someday.”
“It could happen sooner than one would think.”
“What are you planning?”
“Nothing.”
Anthony stares back at you once more, observing the way you interact with his dear nephew. As he searches for someone to call wife, his most secretive thoughts keep coming to mind. The more he searches and the longer you stay, the more he finds himself wondering.
His mother continues to help him in his search for a wife albeit reluctantly since she finds herself so fond of you. She’d never explicitly tell him to pursue you but, she could always kindly ease him into the right direction, which is when his disbelief comes to the surface, truly believing you to feel nothing for him.
He knows if he tried to pursue you and it fell through, he will have ruined a lifelong friendship for his family- as he watches Daphne hold her purple mallet for you to take- he realizes he can’t pursue you.
Not that he’d ever given it any real thought, but he’d never be able to forgive himself if he was the reason, you stopped coming by.
You shake your head.
She puts it in your hand, persuading you into taking her place so she can attend to Augie.
You step down from the seating area with little energy.
His sister offers encouraging nods.
“I see you finally came to join us,” comments Anthony.
You avoid his gaze- you can barely stand beside him. “Not like I wanted to,” you reply.
“You’re scared to lose?”
You scoff, turning to look up at him, “that is not what I said.”
He smirks, leaning closer to you, “you didn’t have to.”
You narrow your eyes at him, “we’ll see who’s laughing when I win.” You walk away, taking your turn. You’re satisfied until you sense him behind you.
He follows you, “for someone who didn’t want to play earlier, you’ve certainly found your spirit.”
“Or was it a trick?” You smirk, glancing at him when the ball rolls through the metal hoop with ease. “You look nice,” you comment, turning around to walk away.
Anthony’s brows furrow together, his body takes over as he steps closer to you, standing beside you. “What do you mean?”
You turn, struggling to find the right words without sending the wrong message. “I only meant you look nice. You know, people- people can actually see your face now.”
He continues to stare at you.
“Your sideburns were nice but it- they- people may have assumed you grew them to hide what lies in your heart.”
“And what do you think lies there?” The words escape him before he could process his thoughts.
“I believe the love for your family and future wife is there, along with the care and compassion you hold for them. I do have to admit, I am a bit glad you shaved.”
He tilts his head, “and why is that?”
“I was afraid you would have continued growing them and at some point, they would connect,” you use both hands the gesture from your sideburns to your upper lip, “and you would look as though you were wearing a mask of sorts,” you say with one hundred percent seriousness until you think about it and snicker, covering your face with your hand.
Anthony is also unable to keep himself collected and joins in. He straightens his posture, “what of you?”
You take a deep breath, fanning yourself. "What of me, for what?”
“What do you think lies in your heart?”
“The same as you, I suppose. Love and compassion for my family and the few friends I have.”
“What about me?” He asks before he can stop himself.
“What?” You don’t know what to think.
“I-” He walks past you, placing his mallet back into place before exiting, wandering to the garden. He needs to get as far away from you as he can in order to clear his mind.
You don’t understand what’s happened and place your mallet beside his before chasing after him.
-
He stares at you, half listening to you and his attention moves elsewhere.
“Are you even listening to me?” You stare at him, wanting to understand him. You’re too into your thoughts to hear the faint buzz.
The noise sends a shiver down his spine, he knows the noise too well; his nightmares (if he can remember any) always start with the faint buzz.
He doesn’t move as he searches for it. Sadly, for the eldest child, he doesn’t have to search for long as the small, striped animal floats around you. He prays to whoever is listening to hear his silent prayers for it doesn’t sting you; he can’t lose someone else to the blasted creature.
“Anthony?” You ask, glancing down when you feel something land on you. You realize why he can’t look away. “Hey, it’s alright.”
He can’t focus on your words, his mind rattled with the memory of his late father. “Don’t move,” his voice is low and shaky.
“I know, it’s a bee but, it won’t hurt me as long as I-” you close your eyes due to the discomfort you get from the sting, and it sends him into a whirlwind. “I’ll be alright,” you say, still trying to reassure him. You open your eyes to see how pale he’s gotten.
He invades your personal space, grasping onto your arms. “Are- are you-” He glances back and forth between your face and your wound. His voice is low, far too low for you to understand what it is he is trying to say but you swear you hear him mutter something along the lines of, “don’t move'' repeatedly.
You know you must calm him down before he can do anything. You reach for him, placing a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at you. “Breathe, Anthony. I need you to breathe.”
He can’t say anything, almost as if he’s choking on air. Images of his father invade his mind, filling him with worry and dread.
You can see he is close to tears. Your voice draws him out of his thoughts. “I promise you. I hope you know I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m fine but I will still have a doctor come and look at it so that it may heal properly. I’m right here. I’m here with you.”
Anthony’s hands grip your biceps, he notices how swollen the sting site has become.
“It stung me, but I am not hurting. This has happened before. I will be fine.”
None of your reassurances are having any effect on him.
The image of his father taking his last breath in his mother’s arm is enough to make lean in to suck the venom out.
“Anthony?! What are you-” You cut yourself off at the feeling of his shaky hands trying to remove the stinger. “Anthony, you must stop.”
“Shut up,” he hisses, trying to stay focused on keeping you healthy (and alive) while fighting to keep his father’s death out of his mind.
You take deep breaths, you try to push him away, but he is insistent and stronger than you. “I am fine, I just need to see a doctor and I-”
“Would you be quiet,” he finally lifts his head to look up at you.
You gulp, “I know- I know what tragedy has happened in your family but, today will not be the same for me.”
He doesn’t listen and continues to squeeze the area.
You gasp, eyes widening at the feeling of his hands being so close to your breast. This has gone too far; you must stop this before someone sees. “Anthony,” you place your hands on his chest to push him away once more.
“Stop it,” he shoves your arms off him. “Let me get rid of the venom.”
“There is a doctor who can do this and-”
“The doctor is not here. I am.” He stops squeezing when some liquid begins to spill out of the wound.
You look down, finding the trail of liquid, “see, you did it. Now, I am going inside to-”
Anthony pulls out a handkerchief, wiping away the trail. “It’s not all of it.”
You wrap your hand around his wrist, stopping him from patting you dry. “You must stop this, Anthony. If anything were to have happened, it would have happened already.”
“There is still more,” he mutters, staring at the irritated area.
“You need to stop.”
“I haven’t gotten all of it,” he turns, staring at you.
“Whatever it is you’re thinking of doing. Don’t.”
“I have to get the venom out before it kills you.”
“It won’t kill me-” you gasp, seeing the determination in him as he leans forward. You place your hand on his shoulder, keeping his head away but fail to remove his hand.
The click clack of women’s shoes against the rock pathway alerts you, but you feel as though you can’t move.
A gasp makes you turn to find his mother alongside your cousin, Mildred (Millie for short), staring at the two of you with shocked expressions.
Your heart rate increases and gain enough strength to fully shove him away from you, knowing how this looks.
He glances up at you with a confused expression.
“Anthony?” Violet calls out.
His brows furrow further, he looks over your shoulder, “mother?”
“What is going here?”
“She was stung by a- a bee.”
“A bee?”
“Yes, a bee. I’d told him repeatedly I was fine. I’ve dealt with being stung before,” you say, struggling to keep yourself together.
“You were stung by a bee and the boy found himself attached to you?” Mildred raises a brow.
“Don’t look at me like that, Millie.”
“I’m not, I’m wondering how you think this can be kept quiet.”
“Kept quiet?” You repeat quietly to yourself.
“Neither of us would repeat a word of what occurred today,” he argues.
“That doesn’t mean anything for a woman’s reputation,” Mildred says with an attitude.
“You do realize anyone could walk out here and spot the two of you, don’t you?”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Don’t you?”
He grits his teeth, “I do.”
“You should consider yourself lucky that it was us who found you and no one else, rake.”
“That’s enough now, Mildred,” Violet intervenes. “Let’s,” she takes a deep breath, “let’s go inside and talk about this further. Lady Starlington needs to be seen by a doctor.”
You can’t stand to be there any longer and turn away from him, walking past the two ladies and Anthony; your pace speeds up before you know it, you’re sprinting back to Audrey Hall.
Mildred sighs, “now what are we to do?”
“We will all walk back and discuss this,” Violet says.
“Of course, we are but, what am I to tell my parents? They’ll be curious to know why their niece’s name is in a Lady Whistledown column.”
Anthony grunts, taking a step towards the two. He passes by them and quickly announces, “we will marry before the end of the season.”
“Did he say what I think he did?” asks Mildred, watching his figure walk away with wide eyes.
Violet sighs, shaking her head, “I believe he did.”
“Did I do the right thing?”
The mother of the family stops, turning to face your cousin, “what do you mean?”
“I- I basically pushed themselves together into this potentially unhappy marriage. I know I sometimes I can’t keep my comments to myself but, I swear I had good intentions. It's just- when we came around the corner to see that I- I worry about her. I fear I may have ruined my relationship with the two.”
“I can’t give you an exact answer but, I can say that as long as you have your cousin’s interest and happiness in mind, the most you can do is hope for the best. They are both emotionally driven people, even if neither wishes to admit it. This will be hard for them, and it may be a test.”
“A test?”
“To see if they will make good of their marriage. You and I, as well as my other children, have come to realize how they connect with one another. They can’t see it for themselves but there is something there and now is the time for them to see it.”
“I suppose so. What if they can’t make it work?”
“Then I fear they will be in a miserable marriage.”
-
No one else disturbed you after the doctor left.
You sit at the edge of the bed, your vision blurs; you cover your mouth with shaky hands. You don’t want others to hear if they happen to be walking by. You cry, struggling to catch your breath.
Everything you’ve been feeling with the last few days is slowly escaping you. Your mother is requesting to visit and marriage situation with Anthony; it’s too much.
You take deep breaths, aiming to calm yourself down.
Maybe it would be better if you left and went home or maybe somewhere far from here.
A knock disturbs you from your thoughts.
You wipe your cheeks, hoping whoever it is will go away but fail as another knock comes through. You take a deep breath and open the door, “Viscount Bridgerton?”
He lifts his gaze off the floor, “what happened to Anthony?”
Any curiosity falls from your expression, “your making light of the situation?”
He shakes his head, “I would never.”
“I think you’ve done enough today. It’s almost time for bed.”
He takes a step closer to the door, his hand inches away from being crushed, “I,” he sighs, taking a step back, removing his hand from the door. “I have come to ask if you would have dinner with me.”
“With you?”
“I think it would be wise if we talked before anything becomes… official.”
“Now?”
“Are you going to use full sentences any time soon?”
“Why should I? Is it bothering you?”
“Nevermind that. Are you going to join me or not?”
“Will there be someone else there?”
He gives you a reluctant nod, “yes, your dearest cousin, Mildred.”
“I’ll be down in a moment. I will meet you there.”
“I’ll wait here.”
“Do you have to?”
“No but, I think it might be good practice for us.”
“Practice,” you mumble and shut the door. You walk over to the vanity, staring at yourself, wondering how you got into this situation. You snatch the extra handkerchief and pat your face, removing any evidence of your despair.
You take careful steps toward the door and exit, Anthony leaning against the wall across from your room. He holds his arm out for you to hold.
You shake your head.
“Don’t you think you’ve touched her enough today?”
He sighs, “Mildred.”
“Who else would it be?” She interlocks your arms together, pulling you ahead of the eldest Bridgerton. “Come on.”
-
“Do either of you know how to use it?” Anthony asks, staring at the stove.
Mildred shakes her head, “the maids are always around to do it.”
“Both of you sit down,” you say.
“Do you know how to work this?” he asks, sounding surprised.
“I do. It’s too late for us to have a full meal, instead we can have a glass of warm milk.”
They sit at the table in the corner of the room.
Anthony watches as you move gracefully around the kitchen.
“If you keep staring, she’ll catch you.”
He turns to her, “what?”
“You’re staring.”
“No, I wasn’t,” he denies.
“You can lie all you want but I know you care for her. Perhaps, you always have and never wanted to admit it before and the whole bee situation was a ruse so that you could stop being a ninny and marry her instead.”
His jaw drops, he doesn’t know how to respond. “I did not-”
She waves him off, “do not lie Anthony, I know you love her and have for some time now, only you must realize it now than later in your marriage. I do not want her… or you to be unhappy. Oddly enough, I seem to care for you but, obviously not the same way she does you.”
He scoffs through his nose, muttering to himself, “obviously.”
You place the glass of milk in front of the two, interrupting their conversation. “Don’t tell me you’ve decided to marry my cousin instead.”
Anthony nearly chokes on the liquid, setting the glass down and snatches the handkerchief you hold out for him.
He wipes his chin, “what makes you think I would want to marry, Mildred.”
She scoffs, “you’d be lucky to have me, Bridgerton.”
He narrows his eyes to her.
“I’ll be just outside this door, leaving the two of you talk and nothing else.”
You furrow your brows, “wait. Mil-”
She waves to you.
You take a deep breath, not wanting to face him.
It was different when he wasn't paying attention to you and rather his own life, but now... you hope he doesn't want to talk.
"We should- we should talk."
Everything in your screams to not run away and hide, even though it sounds like it would be the better option right now.
"How are you?"
"I would be happier if I was marrying for love and not because of your concern over my virtue," you mumble.
He overhears and sighs. “Don’t-”
“No, I understand. Truly I do, just- I need- it’s late. Apologies for keeping you up.” You grab the skirts of your dress and walk out.
Mildred watches as you run away. She spins around and stands in the doorway. “What did you do?”
“Me- I-”
She sighs. “Just shut up.”
He sighs and slumps in the chair. Mildred storms into the room after you.
-
“What happened?”
“Nothing.” You take a deep breath, hunched over your vanity.
“You know, you two act as a married couple who have known each other for too long and no longer know how to act lovingly around one another.”
“You are wrong, cousin. He is- he is the scum- the scum that rests at the bottom of my shoe. Why would I ever marry someone like that? Much less that Bridgerton, I mean, Colin would be a better option and I don’t like him as much as I do Benedict.” You keep your head down, “people marry for less.”
“I wish to marry for love, if it ever decides to come my way but until then I will deal with him marrying the only person, I care about that is close to my age.”
“So, you care enough about me to marry me off?”
“Don’t phrase it in such a way that makes me the bad guy,” she throws herself onto your bed.
“Go to bed. I will be fine, Millie.”
She props herself up on her elbows. “Are you sure?”
“I am. Please,” you look up and turn around, putting on a brave face. “I promise you. I will be fine.”
“If you’re sure-”
“Which I am. Goodnight, Millie.”
She sighs and steps outside of the room, “night.”
-
“Good morning.”
You don’t respond to Mildred.
“Are you ignoring me?”
“I am simply showing you the way my soon-to-be husband will treat me.”
“What do you mean?”
“It has already begun. I awoke early and decided I wanted to speak to him after thinking about it all. I say hi but he does not.” You shrug, "it doesn't matter now."
"It does though. Let me," she sighs. "Let me speak with him. I can- I can fix this."
"No," you say. “I don’t want you to be in the middle any more than you have.”
“Alright... now onto more pressing matters.”
“Such as?”
“Your plans for the wedding?”
“Oh, right.” You continue to stare out the window.
“Are you sure you're alright?”
“I just-”
Anthony stops himself from knocking on the door and decides to listen.
“I thought when I was to marry, I would marry for love not because I need my virtue protected or saved."
"If he didn't agree to this-"
"I would be a spinster."
"That is how I will live my life," Mildred grabs your hand and gains your attention.
Anthony takes his leave, unable to stay there any longer.
“That is not how I want you to live your life. I want you to be the one to have another you can call upon if there is something the matter because I won’t always be there and I need to know that you are protected before I leave.”
“You’re leaving?”
She sighs. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out but yes. A week after you’ve been married, I plan on traveling the world.”
“Your childhood dream.”
“Precisely.”
"I- what if I'm not good enough to," you wave your hand around. "This."
"This what? I'm not sure I understand."
"What if- what if I am not fit to be a wife. I mean," you push yourself out of the chair and pace around the room. "I don't want him to be disappointed in the person he is to call wife. I don't want to be in a marriage of..."
"Regret?"
"Precisely."
She stops you by placing a hand on your wrists, “now is the time for us to plan your wedding. Violet and Anthony have been sitting in the tearoom since I came in here.”
“She’s- they’re- why didn’t you tell me?” You rush out the door.
-
You clean yourself up outside the door and nod to your servant, Bernard, to open the doors. You nervously smile at both.
Violet pops up from the chair closest to the window. “How are you?”
“Oh- uh- I’m,” you glance to the side and stare at her eldest, who locks eyes with you.
“I mean from the- well, you know,” she struggles to say.
You let out a breath of relief, “ah, yes. I do. I am- I am fine. I’m just happy that everyone else is fine.”
She smiles, “that is kind of you to say, but unnecessary.”
“I hear you came to talk about our upcoming… event.”
“Is that what Mildred told you?”
You furrow your brows, “is that not what you’re here to discuss?”
Anthony pushes himself off the couch. “Not yet. Mother, if you’d excuse us.”
“Anthony, I don’t-”
He gives her a look.
"We will be right outside this door."
"What did you want to discuss?"
"If we are to marry, we should have stipulations."
"You think I'll be so horrible that we need rules?"
"Not you. I believe if we have these, we'll have a better understanding of what should come from this marriage."
"Why don't I just stay by your side and show my face when you need me to so you can look like the perfect husband? Would that make things easier?"
He sighs. "That is one of the things we need to discuss, which events you'd prefer to come to."
"Oh, I get to choose those?"
"Please stop. I am trying to make this as easy as I can."
You clench your fists. "How am I supposed to be okay with this?"
“It’s my fault and I am trying to make up for that.”
You pause, “your fault?”
He nods, “yes, it was- it was me who... couldn’t.”
You step forward and place your hand on his, drawing his attention onto you. “It is not your fault when something so devastating comes to mind and you do all you can to prevent another. I do not blame you, but you must understand that I do not want to be one of those ladies.”
“Who?” The only word he can get out as he studies you.
Your compassion shifts into something of annoyance, one he knows too well. “You know who, someone who wants to be like Penelope’s mother or maybe even... all of the other ladies,” you chuckle, proud of the joke you made.
"I'm glad you can make jokes at a time like this."
You roll your eyes, "oh hush, I am still upset about pretending to be a perfect housewife for the one man every woman dreams of being with."
"Are you included?"
Your mouth agape as you stare at him.
"You two haven't maimed each other, perfect."
"Millie," you pinch the bridge of your nose.
"Oh, don't act so coy now."
You roll your eyes and sit down, waiting to hear what Anthony and his mother have to say. You pace along the floor, finding it to be quieter here than in the tearoom with the others, even if they weren’t talking it was still too loud. You know there’s no alternative for what’s transpired between you and your soon to be husband, but it still hurts knowing he will never love you the way-
“Are you alright?” Daphne’s voice draws you out of your thoughts.
You give her a small smile and hope she doesn’t poke further.
“I know this isn’t how it was supposed to happen but there is one good thing about your marriage.”
You scoff, “and what, pray tell, is that?”
“I finally can call you sister.”
You try not to show how happy that makes you, not wanting her to know she was right. “Thank you.”
She drags you over to the piano.
“I still don’t understand why you have many so pianos.”
She shrugs, “for moments like this, maybe?”
“Are you waiting for me to play?”
She nods, “of course, I am. You were always much better than I was.”
“I was not.”
“Show me then. Show me how awful you play, and I will not ask you again.”
You don’t know how long you had been playing for, but it was something you missed- not having a piano in your own home, you didn’t realize how long it had been.
You usually prefer to play when no one is watching but having Daphne by your side was nice, she always knew how to help calm you before things could get worse; everyone knew of your father’s temper, and no one wants to face that through his only daughter.
Anthony raises his hand to knock on the door but pauses as he listens, he doesn’t realize Daphne had learned a new piece. He slowly opens the door and finds you playing instead.
‘When did you learn how to play?’ He wonders.
Or maybe it was, you had always known, and he was too into his fantasies that he forgot to pay attention to the true version of you.
Just when he was hoping to learn something horrible about you; you’re becoming more and more like his...
“I didn’t know you played.”
You open your eyes and glance up at him, standing up as quickly as you can. “I don’t.”
He furrows his brows, “that’s not what I heard.”
“That- that was nothing.”
“Why are you lying?”
“I prefer to keep this information to myself so if you could kindly pretend you didn’t hear anything, that’d be best.” You exit the room, knowing you’ve left
Anthony in a wave of confusion. “What was that about?”
“She doesn’t like others to know of her talents because she knows they’ll ask her to perform one of them.”
“Her mother.” He finally understands.
“And her aunt.”
Now he truly gets it. "Is this what you two would do while I was out with mother?"
She shrugs and pushes the seat back. "Perhaps, or maybe you were never around long enough to learn about her even though you're entranced by her."
He stutters, unsure of where she could have gotten that idea. "What?"
She quickly hides her amusement before he can see. "Nothing. Goodnight Anthony."
He tries to stop her, but she ignores him, offering an excuse for needing to put Augie to bed. He wonders what else he doesn’t know.
You pace back and forth in front of his office door; this isn’t something you can do in person, is it? You sigh and wonder if it’s a wise choice to be doing this at all.
You slip the letter under his door and take a step back. “That wasn’t so hard.” You turn around and briskly walk down the hallway, hoping he doesn’t see that it was you who was there.
Something moving in the corner of his eye piqued his interest and moved closer to figure out what it was. He picks up the letter and opens the door, seeing someone’s figure turning the corner before losing sight of them.
He closes the door and opens the letter, wondering what you could have said when you’ve already said plenty.
Dear Bridgerton,
I I want to start off by apologizing for my outbursts, you don’t deserve them, and they are not aimed at you, but you happen to be the person I am talking to and... This is not how I expected the season to begin or end and I’m sure you didn’t either but if there is someone I were to marry, I’m happy it’d be you... because I trust you. I will do all that I can to be the perfect wife for you and if not, I apologize in advance.
Sincerely, Your annoying soon to be wife
The next day came, and you didn't know how to act.
You sit between Daphne and Mildred when he enters.
He sits in front of you and nods, acknowledging you, which you return.
The girls beside you don't know how to react, each staring at the other with a raised brow.
You two talked with his mother about the decisions for your wedding.
"Have you two discussed what you want?"
Anthony opens his mouth to answer but finds himself without an answer.
"Everyone will talk, and it will no doubt be in Lady Whistledown's column, but it would be preferred if we had a small ceremony, family only."
You don’t look up from your plate. Violet nods, listening intently. "I will use the dress my mother made when I was born, it'll save us time on getting a dress. The flowers can be your choice."
"And after?"
You turn to her, "it'd be smart to hold a small reception after all though it will increase because everyone will want to see who married the handsome and fortunate viscount."
You push yourself out of the chair. "I apologize but I realized I promised to spend time with the girls before we go out for our shopping trip."
"What just happened?"
"Have you two talked about anything regarding your wedding?" Violet asks her son.
"Every time we discuss something-"
"No, have you sat down and discussed what you two are to do? Who will be there? Anything that a soon to be husband and wife should discuss?"
His shoulders sag. "No."
"I want you to go in my place."
"What? Why?"
"It will give you two a moment to talk and prepare for the future hardships you two will face as a couple. Raise her spirits. She got a letter from her mother, saying she will not be able to attend. Perhaps that is why she is so uninterested today."
"She- how do you know?"
"I'm your mother, I know more than you would think."
-
Anthony waiting by the door frightened you. “Are you joining us?”
“I’m here in place of my mother.”
It takes you a few seconds to process what he said. “You are?”
He nods. “Shall we?”
You close your eyes and take a deep breath.
The failed whispering voices of the women around you, annoys you to the point where Anthony feels that he needs to do something. “Is there anything that has caught your interest?”
You shake your head.
“Let’s go. I know somewhere we can have a better time, away from the whispers of these women.” He leans in, whispering into your ear, “they’re jealous of you.”
You cover your mouth to hide your amusement, not wanting him to know he’s helping lift your spirits. You two exit the shop and return to the Bridgerton home. “Why are we back here?”
“We are going to have a drink.”
“With your family? Couldn’t we do that any day we wanted to?”
He holds his hand out for you to take, which you do. “Although that may be true, that’s not what I had in mind.” He places his arms behind his back, clenching his fist not wanting you to see the control you have over him. “We’re going to spend time in my office.”
“Oh? I’m invited in, I feel so special.”
“You should, very few are allowed in here, especially when I’m working.”
“Of course. The head of the house needs quiet or else.”
-
“I see going out has helped you.”
You watch as he fills the glass for you before grabbing it and swallowing it in one gulp. “You could say that.” You scrunch your nose at the sensation, maybe doing that was a bad idea.
He takes a seat in his chair.
“Could I ask you something?”
He nods, staring at you over the glass as he takes a sip.
“Did your mother inform of the one guest we won’t be seeing at our wedding?”
He slowly sets the glass down before returning his gaze to you. “She may have mentioned it.”
“Is that why you came with me today because she told you to and not because you wanted to?”
“She may have said she thought it was best if I take her place, but it was initially my choice to go.”
“You’re not lying?”
“What would I gain from lying to you?”
You sit up and reach for the bottle, filling your glass. “A relationship built on a lie.”
He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you trying to make this harder than it needs to be?”
“I can’t just- you can’t honestly expect me to ignore that we are marrying one another when you never wanted to marry and I hoped that when it happened, it’d be with someone who loved me.”
He’s out of his chair before you realize he’s now sitting in the chair beside you. “What will it take for you to stop saying that?”
“What?”
He leans in closer. “Why do you think I could never love you?”
“I-” You gulp. “You have spoken before that you never want to marry, what else am I to think?”
“How do you know I couldn’t change? What if something comes of this relationship?”
Your breath hitches and you continue staring him in his eyes. “I suppose we’ll have to cross that bridge if we get to it.” You set the glass down and rush for the door, “I’ll take my leave now. I’m feeling quite tired after our outing.”
He grabs your wrist, pulling you back in before you could open the door. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you into answering my questions.”
“What if I enjoyed them?”
You turn to face him with a small smile. “Then I am concerned for your being.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“Be honest, did you mother tell you about my mother is not coming?”
“No,” he shakes his head, but you know the truth.
“You don’t need to lie on order to preserve myself, it’s okay.” You sigh, “is it sad that a small part of me wishes for her to be there?”
“Not in the least. It’s natural for you to want your mother there-”
“It’s not because she’s my family, I just- I need her to stop pushing marriage onto me.” You pace back and forth, “this is my way to prove her wrong but that makes me feel worse because it makes me seem as though I’m being a bad daughter.”
“You’re not,” he disagrees with you. “That is anything but you being a bad daughter. If anything, she’s- she’s scared to lose her daughter to a new family because they know you will be starting a new life, away from her and that’s why she doesn’t want you to help.”
“But what if-”
His hand slides down your arm as if his hand lingering wasn’t enough to drive you mad, he tightens his grip on your hand.
You force yourself to focus on his words and not the warmth emanating from him.
“Stop. All the negative thoughts you have are not going to help you. But listen to this, you are a good daughter, and she should be happy to know her daughter will be taken care of. As long as you are a part of this family you will be taken care of and not have to worry about expectations.”
“I won’t,” you whisper, not meaning to. He shakes his head and gives a small smile. “I promise.”
He realizes he’s been holding onto you this whole time and his arm falls. “Can I walk you back to your room?”
You nod, ignoring the warmth flooding your cheeks. “I would like that.”
-
“Will I see you at breakfast tomorrow?”
“You will, and if I ask you the same question?”
He smiles, “I will be there.”
“Good, I think this is a good start to our future marriage.” You step inside the room.
“I am sorry.”
“What?”
“The marriage… and the reason we are to wed.”
“What do you mean?”
“I lost myself and-”
You shake your head, placing a hand on his chest over his heart. “I do not blame you for something as traumatizing as your father’s death. Please know that.”
“But-”
“Anthony Bridgerton,” you tell him using a stern tone. “Stop it. It may not have happened under the best of circumstances, but I am happy that I will be wed to you than some other man. I can at least trust you.” You step back into the doorway, slowly closing the door as you bid him goodnight.
He stands there, touching the spot where your hand was until he drops it, straining his hand as he fights to clench it.
-
Benedict and Colin happen to be there when he turns the corner.
“Quite a show you put on there,” the second eldest says.
“Yes, you’re whole “I’ll be the perfect husband” speech was wonderful,” the third eldest chimes in.
Anthony scoffs, “would you two quiet down?” He grabs them by their collars, dragging them into one of their miscellaneous rooms. “Why aren’t you two out?”
“How could we be out when you’re here?” Colin asks.
“Trying to woo the love of your life,” Benedict adds on.
“I’m not- you two are acting like children.”
“Us? Acting like children?” Colin starts, glancing at his brother.
“No,” the artist shakes his head, “I don’t think so.”
The soon to be married man glares at his brothers, unsure if he wants to listen further or not but if he doesn’t let them continue it’ll be worse in the morning. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “If I let you two continue, will you keep quiet in the morning?”
“Morning?” Colin turns to partner in crime. “What’s happening in the morning?”
The artist glances over his older brother and grins, “is the soon to be wed joining his family and future wife for breakfast?”
“With him being silent, I’m going to say yes.”
“Finally, you agree with me.”
“I agree with you,” the third eldest argues.
“I don’t recall.”
“Okay, now that you two are done, I’m going to bed.”
“To dream of your wife.”
“She looked quite nice today, wouldn’t you say brother?” Benedict asks.
“I dare say, she looks even more radiant since her recent engagement.”
“You two are done,” Anthony shoves them out of the room. “You two will not speak of her like that again. She is your friend,” he jabs Benedict’s chest. “And your future sister-in-law,” and does the same to Colin. “You will respect her and not talk like this again, understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
-
The next morning as soon as you step out of the door, your future husband paces. “You’re awake.”
“I am, it’s time for breakfast.” You close the door behind you. “Shall we go downstairs and join the others?”
“We’ll be the first ones down there.”
“Either way, I’m going down.”
He holds his arm out for you to take. “Shall we?”
You give him a small smile and nod. “After breakfast, what are your plans?”
“I have a few things I need to look over but after that I’m free. What did you have in mind?”
“I planned on going for a walk along the back of your family’s estate and perhaps we could talk about things.”
“Just the two of us.”
“Mildred could join us?”
“I’d rather she not.”
“I don’t blame you; she’s been on a rampage since earlier this week.”
The doors open and his brothers, Daphne and Mildred, are already sitting at the table.
“Of course,” he mumbles.
“Did you say something?” You ask him.
He turns his head towards you, offering a small smile. “No, it’s nothing.”
The glances between him and his brothers were interesting, intriguing to you and the girls, who also had no clue what was going on.
He stands behind your chair, hand resting on your shoulder. “I shall find you after I am done.”
You nod and watch him go.
“Well, that was interesting.”
Daphne shushes your cousin.
-
You lay across the couch, reading another book and were so into it, not even realizing that he had entered the room.
He smiles as he steps closer, wondering what’s going on inside your head, finding you to be more interesting as he observes you reading, compared to his sister. He leans against the back of the couch, bending down to catch your attention.
A shadow moving catches your eye and you turn, screaming soon after.
You place your hand over your heart, taking deep breaths. “For heaven’s sake! What was that for?”
“What do you mean?” He smirks, arms on around the sides of your body as he stays behind the couch. “What are you reading?”
You turn around and cross your arms, “why does that concern you?”
“Can’t a future husband be curious as to what his future wife is into?”
You glance at him from the corner of your eye. “Is that all?”
“It is. But that’s not why I’m here.” He doesn’t say anything else.
You get impatient and wave your arms around. “Spit it out. Come on.”
“We are to marry by the end of the week.”
Your brows raise is surprise, “oh.”
“Is that alright?”
You take a deep breath, “I just- I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon but that’s- okay.” You place the book beside you and stand up, brushing the wrinkles out of the skirts of your dress. “I need to go over some things with your mother.”
The humor falls from his face. “Wait- where are you going?”
"I just told you."
He follows after you, "I heard you but-" He reaches for you, pulling you back. "Can we talk?"
You take a deep breath to calm your beating heart. Why is this happening now? You thought you were over this. Your lips part as you stare at his hand. You shake your head, staring up at him. "I- what do we need to talk about?"
"Lady... things." He’s quiet for a moment. "I won't push you but know I'm here to talk if you need someone."
"Thank you." You take off, not noticing the way his hand slowly falls or the way he clenches his hand.
It's been a long time since he's felt the skin of a woman he was enchanted by, especially one he's to call wife.
"Did we catch a moment between you and your beloved?"
Anthony sighs, "don't you have charcoal to break for your fruit drawings?"
His younger brother puts a hand to his chest, offended by his brother's comment. "I'm hurt, Anthony. Truly, I am but it's not why I'm here."
He turns to face the artistic Bridgerton, taking notice of the serious look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Sister."
"Which one?"
"Not one of ours."
He furrows his brows, mouth agape to ask why but realizes who his brother is referring to. "I thought we had taken care of this situation?"
"We did but then she decided to cut their trip short and has been calling on you since she arrived today."
"I need you to take care of her. I cannot allow her to ruin my marriage."
Benedict nods, "you finally figured out you truly care for her, didn't you?"
Anthony chuckles, "I'm not discussing this with you. Call Colin if you need help."
"We got it. Go take care of my future sister."
-
He nods for the doors to be opened. "Good morning, ladies."
Your cousin shakes her head, your mother fawns over him while Violet takes a sip of her tea.
Your eyes widen at the sight of him.
He places a hand on the back of your chair. "I expect you all enjoyed your breakfast before discussing more of the wedding."
"Oh, certainly. Your family has been nothing but kind to us, Viscount."
You adjust the napkin on your lap to keep you from rolling your eyes at your mother's fake enthusiast tone.
Mildred pats your arm, knowing the strained relationship between you and your mother.
He notices the tension in your shoulders and wishes he could pull you away from all this madness. "Anything I can help with?"
"Oh, heavens no. You have other more important things to take care of. Leave this to us ladies, isn't that, right?"
You purse your lips and let out a quiet, "mmhmm."
Maybe it was better when she said she couldn’t come to the wedding. Yes, you were sad, but it was better than the real thing.
Violet glances between you and your mother. "Why don't we let the girls go on a walk with Anthony watching over them?"
"But-"
"I think this will be good for them. It will give them more time to talk."
The woman hesitates to say yes, debating if this is truly a wise decision before making a decision.
-
You didn't realize how tight you were squeezing Mildred's arm until she let out a whine.
Your eyes widen, "oh, Millie. I'm so sorry."
"It's fine. I should have known better. I know how crazy she makes you." "This always happens?" You don't look in his direction. Your cousin nods her head, "unfortunately."
"Why has she made this unexpected visit?"
"She," Mildred pauses, giving herself time to think of a better answer than truth.
"She wants to know if I am with child and if the reason, you're marrying me is to save my family's name."
Anthony nods, he understands why you preferred planning this with his mother and your cousin. "Should we?"
You two glance over in his direction. "What are you implying?"
He shrugs, "I merely suggest we pretend as if there is something going on, give your mother something to worry about."
"You want her to pretend as if she is with child?"
He nods, confirming Mildred's nightmare.
"Please tell me you're not thinking of going through with this. It’s absurd and- oh, no. Now I like it."
You glance between the two. "Is this something you two finally agree on?"
They stumble for a minute, waiting for the other to argue and tell you no but come to realize you are, in fact, correct.
Daphne stumbles upon the three of you and smiles, neither Mildred nor her brother are arguing, and you don't look uncomfortable.
"Daphne!" Your cousin waves. "Come, come. We need your knowledge on a subject."
She nods, smiling. "May I ask what you need my help with exactly?"
"How does one pretend to be with child?"
She owlishly blinks, tilting her head staring at the woman as if she's lost her mind. "I'm sorry?"
"We are feeding into my aunt's absurd idea of her precious daughter being with child."
Anthony purses his lips, finding himself to be offended more than he had been by Mildred's comments. "I'm not the worst option for a father."
"Moving on," she waves him off before returning her attention to his sister. "We need information."
"And you want to do this?" She turns to face you.
Your eyes widen slightly, not realizing she was going to ask. "I think it would be... nice to show mother how well her child is without her watchful eye."
"And you're sure this is the way to do it?"
You shrug, "it's not so much if I think this is okay, it's more like she needs to realize I am my own person and can live a life without her dictating everything for me."
Daphen nods, "okay. I will help."
Mildred smiles and interlocks her arm with the Bridgerton girl's. "Come, we have much to discuss."
You turn to your future husband and raise a brow.
He stares at the two, wondering what advice his sister could have to offer before holding his arm out for you to hold onto as you all return to the hall for dinner.
"Are you sure about this?"
You hum, not having listened to a word he said.
"I asked if you're sure about this. Mildred and I were joking, we don't expect you to play along with this idea."
"Your kind, but this is something I need to do. She won't listen to reason if I tell her I don't need her help, she'll involve herself, no matter what."
"And this is how you'll get her to stop?"
You sigh, "we'll see."
The dinner was entertaining for most, you felt bad for embarrassing Violet and the Bridgerton name all to get your mother off your back, but you felt there was no other way to stop her from inserting her wants and needs before yours.
That was the first night you had a stern talking to from your future mother-in-law and- even though you could have thought of a better way to handle the situation, it felt nice to be taken care of the way a child should, compared to the way your mother raised you.
You didn’t talk to your cousin or future husband after and went to bed with too much on your mind.
-
Then came the wedding, it was as lovely as could be even if it was short notice and only family was invited.
It came as a surprise to everyone, mainly yourself, when your mother decided it was time to stop and act like a caring parent.
She smiled and fixed a piece of hair that was out of place. “I know this isn’t the wedding you dreamed about-”
“I didn’t dream of a wedding often.”
She sighs, realizing she’s been putting words in your mouth rather than stopping to listen to you. “I never dreamed of marrying someone I didn’t love. If I were to ever get married, I’d rather it be with someone I could have a future with than someone who would rather be with another.”
"I know."
"And you know what else- you know?"
She nods, "I've been trying to relive my life through you, and it isn't fair. I'm here to watch you marry the man who will provide, take care of you," she cups your cheeks. "And love you the way you deserve."
You shake your head, fighting to keep your composure, not wanting anyone to know of your breakdown. "He doesn't love me."
She nods, "he does, you just can't see it."
"How-"
Your mother shushes you, "it's time."
The reality of the situation didn't hit you until it was time to walk down the aisle but with the help of Mildred and Daphne, you were able to overcome it.
That was also the only time you've felt the lips of your husband.
-
Since the wedding it feels as though all the progress you two made was wasted, even Mildred was tired of your constant complaints before and after she left.
You sit in the library, biting your nail until it hurts and turn the page; a new habit of yours, one Eloise would be proud of.
You started hiding away to read when everyone went off to live their lives now that the beginning of yours has ended started. You’ve been reading more since your cousins’ departure; it was a tearful morning but you're happy to know she’s out living her life the way she wants.
Then Daphne and Simon left the hall so they could return to their lives in their own home with little Augie.
You've tried to go out with Violet and Lady Danbury, but they preferred to ask when you two would expand your family; safe to say you also hide in here for another reason.
The youngest Bridgerton’s are swept away for their studies as they continue to grow. Francesca and Eloise are nowhere to be found half the time (hence where you got the idea).
You don't know if you'd be able to handle talking to the other two brothers since marrying the eldest. The comments they make at breakfast are enough, going on a walk with them would be too much.
Not that you mind the quiet even if it does get lonely at times.
You push yourself off the ground, placing the book back in its place only now realizing how dark it had gotten and your candle has died, providing little light to guide you; its barely the size of your thumb and the wick is dying the longer you stay here.
You open the door, carefully closing it and wince as the hinges creaking echoes down the hallway. You pause at the sound of footsteps only to hear a familiar girls whisper. "Hyacinth?"
She smiles, "what are you doing here?"
"I was reading."
"In the dark?"
You two glance down at your source of light that died as soon as she mentioned it. "The candles died."
“Can you take me back to my room?”
You smile and nod, “of course I can.” You grab her hand and try to find your way back to the hallway where her room is.
-
“Finally, we found it.” You glance down at her, “I told you, we would.”
She smiles up at you with a sleepy expression. “I knew you would.”
You open the door and get her settled into bed before exiting.
You wonder what it would be like to have your own child and stop. Are you really thinking about what it would be like to have a child when you haven’t seen your husband since your wedding day?
You shake your head and continue down the hallway before turning around, realizing you made a wrong turn; you sigh, leaning against the railing, staring at the ballroom floor.
You remember the first time you arrived at the hall and saw him. You didn’t know why your heartbeat was so fast until your cousin explained it to you.
You wonder if he knows how you feel and if that’s the reason, he’s been avoiding you.
“What are you doing awake at this hour?”
You spin around and find- “Ben!” You cross your arms to cover you.
He smiles, “what are you doing out of bed and away from your husband?”
You take the jacket he offers you, “I’d rather be reading but my candle died- oh no.”
“What?”
“I left it in your sister’s room.”
“Ah, so you’ve seen the whole family other than the one man you should be seeing.”
“Quiet now, Benedict. Unless you want others to know you’ve seen your brother’s wife in her night dress.”
“It wouldn’t be the biggest scandal our family has dealt with.”
You lower your head, rubbing your forehead at his words. “You’re an idiot. I’m going to bed.”
Anthony had a rough night and going to bed was something he desperately needed, maybe seeing your figure laying in our shared bed would make him feel better; he always seems to calm down when his eyes land on you.
That was something he always enjoyed about you whenever you were around.
He stops removing his coat when the door opens, and his brother is behind you while you stay in the doorway with his coat around your shoulders.
His brother takes the item from you and takes his leave before Anthony starts asking questions (not before Benedict gives him a suggestive look).
He doesn’t want to ask- he shouldn’t ask, it’s not his place. “Something I should know about?” He hopes this doesn’t lead to a fight.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re going to pretend as if my brother walking you, my wife, wouldn’t be a scandal if we were elsewhere.”
“Why? Don’t you trust me?” You ask, tired of all the games; him avoiding you and now having an interest in you.
“Do you know how much it affects me?”
An annoyed sigh escapes him, revealing to you how he feels (about the situation and not yourself). “What affects you, sweetheart?”
You ball your fists, “stop calling me that.”
He can’t call you such an endearing name when he hasn’t been acting like your husband. “That is what a husband is supposed to call his wife, is it not? A charming word of endearment for a handsome lady, such as yourself.”
“Stop talking…”
“What else am I to call you? I cannot call you by your name, it would prove-”
“How little we care for each other.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You. I’m talking about you.”
“Me?”
“You are a pest.”
“A pest,” he whispers, finding himself offended.
“You have never once thought of myself in the manner of being one’s wife but yet you act like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re my husband.”
“Am I not?”
You study him. “You want to make a big deal out of this when you’ve been avoiding me since the wedding? Therefore, you are a pest.”
“I- I haven’t- when was I avoiding you?”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
He struggles to remove his coat and you make your way towards him, helping him.
“Your brother found after I helped Hyacinth get back to bed after she found me exiting the library. He didn’t want anyone else to see me in such a… intimidate manner.”
You stare at him through your lashes. “Anything else you want to add? Maybe,” you place his jacket on the back of the chair before taking a seat at the vanity. You start removing the pins and ribbons keeping your hair up, your tiredness hitting you as you prepare for bed.
He sighs, untying his collar. “I wasn’t avoiding, I’ve been… busy.”
“Busy? You’ve been busy?” You undo the sheets, settling onto your side. “I’m going to sleep until you can come up with another excuse on why you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I- believe me when I say I wasn’t avoiding you because I- this isn’t easy.”
You spring up, glaring at him. “And you think this is easy for me?”
“I’m not saying anything about our marriage. I have been,” he pauses, thinking of the right word. “Dealing with personal matters, things you shouldn’t have to worry about because of a mistake I made in the past. I am trying to protect this because I care about you.”
You gulp, “I’m sorry.”
“What was that?”
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms as you stare at the ceiling. “I’m sorry for thinking you were avoiding me but to be fair,” you spring forward, pointing to him. “I- I-“ You struggle to speak as you catch the sight of his bare chest.
He knows what he’s doing to you and his chest warms at the thought of only you being the one to see him in such an intimate way.
You turn away, fiddling with the sheets. “Like I said, I’m sorry for assuming the worst but considering-“ You close your eyes, following the way his lips moved against yours. You push him away, the warmth of his chest lighting a fire within you. “Just because we are married, does not mean you can use your body to change the subject or get me to stop talking about something you don’t want to.”
The corner of his smile twitches before he allows himself to smirk.
You’ve only ever seen him use this expression with his family, never once was it directed at you.
You’re happy tonight ended the way it has, you’re feeling closer to him, learning more of what makes Anthony Bridgerton tick.
-
He closes his eyes, chest heaving with every breath he takes. “I’m here.” He pulls away from you.
Your hand falls at your side.
His figure fades away, leaving you confused.
You burst up, confused as to what your dream means and glance beside you, finding him still asleep. You push yourself out of bed, needing the get away for a moment, sitting in the bench underneath the window.
You stare at the stars, wondering if there was some way, they’d be able to respond to your questions. It’s only been several days since your marriage became official; you still feel as though you’re not and none of is real.
You think back to your first kiss you two shared at the altar and the one you shared before going to bed. Your fingertips brush against your lips, relishing the sensation you felt then as it fills you with something you never thought you’d be able to enjoy.
‘Is this what love is?’ You think, staring at the bright moon, knowing it won’t answer you.
You glance back at him and wonder if he’ll ever love you the way-. You wipe away the stray tear, knowing how much it’d break you if he decided to cheat or leave you entirely.
Your greatest fear was thinking you’d end up alone.
Now you fear he’d be the one to leave you without looking back.
He squints, the moonlight disturbing his slumber. “What are you doing up?”
Your head snaps in his direction. “Hmm?”
He repeats his question, sitting up in bed, his night shirt wrinkled and slipping off his chest.
“I couldn’t sleep,” you tell him, not believing your own words. You crawl back into bed when you notice he won’t fully fall asleep until you’re near.
As soon as you settle onto your side, his breathing evens out.
You lay your head on the pillow, fighting the thoughts you know will keep you awake, feeling you’ll need more sleep than anything.
-
"We need to try for a child."
He glances up from his work. "I didn't realize your mother was in town."
You narrow your eyes to him, something he is truly fond of even if you are upset with him. "I'm going to pretend as if you didn't say that."
You close the door and pace around the floor in front of his desk.
“If you find yourself calm enough to talk, could you repeat what you said when you busted into my office.”
He knows what you said, there's no denying what he's heard but what's got you riled up to bring up such a topic.
The wedding was only three weeks prior, he knows of the idle gossip some of the other women enjoy talking amongst each and he's curious as to who said something.
He's also been trying to keep himself busier than usual to keep him from staying up too late and thinking of performing such acts upon you. He sets his pen down, giving you his full attention. “Why are you asking now?”
“I’m not asking,” you argue.
Is it such a wise idea to try and push for this? Most likely not but you're too upset over the gossip to think logically.
He studies you for a moment, wanting to understand what happened to make you think such a thing.
“What happened? I mean, you and Daphne went out for a walk, right?”
You pause, trying to understand where he’s getting at before nodding.
“Who said something to you?” He raises his brow.
“No one… exactly,” you huff, crossing your arms.
“I know they’re expecting me to be with child by now or at least, in the works of trying for a baby and I don’t want there to be another Whistledown column with either of our names in it. It’s not just my reputation that could be ruined, it could be yours or your family’s this time.”
He can’t help but smile at your kind thoughts. “I appreciate the concern and I’m sure my family would as well, but everything is going to be fine. We don’t need to worry about this.”
You continue having your pity party. “I’m glad you seem to think so.” You furrow your brows, thinking about how he’s avoiding the topic. “Why are you putting this off?”
“Putting what off?”
“You know what I’m talking about, don’t act as coy as your brothers do when asked about their courtships.”
He doesn’t have a way out, does he? A knock on the door alerts him. “I have other business to attend to, I’ll see you at dinner?”
You scoff, “you pretend as if you want me and need me when we are in our shared room but now that we are out in the open you want nothing to do with me? Tell me, are you just using me for your own gain?”
He sighs, “please, can we,” he glances at the door to find his brother. “Talk about this another time?”
You nod, offering a fake smile, “of course, husband.”
His attention turns to you once more, “I thought we weren’t going to have the normal marriage?”
“It seems we were both wrong.” You shrug. “Goodnight, husband.” You yank the door open, rushing past Benedict and the guest without looking back.
Kate smiles watching as you put yourself further away from the one person she wants. “It seems you and your bride are having minor troubles, may I?”
Anthony grits his teeth. “What’s brought you here, to my family’s hall, today?”
Her mischievous smile turns into an evil smirk, “I’ve come to visit an old friend, after all, didn’t you say I was always welcome?”
“That was before you tried to take my family’s fortune and run off.”
She plays with the cuff of his coat sleeve. “If it makes you feel better, I have a husband.”
“Then you should be with him.” He removes her hand from him.
If this had happened a year ago, he would be crawling back into her embrace but now that he has you, the only person that can keep him sane; he’s not going to make that mistake.
He sits down at his desk, rereading the page he was working on when you came in. He knows he’d be stupid if he fell for her tricks once more and ruined your marriage (and family name).
She pouts, not liking the fact that he doesn’t want her anymore.
“Perhaps you should go back to your home. We must clean up for dinner,” Benedict chimes in.
She spins to face the second eldest, “dinner? I’d love to.”
Anthony pushes himself out of the chair. “That’s not an invitation.”
“Why? Are you scared I’m going to ruin your precious marriage? You truly think I’d be harsh to do such a thing?”
“We don’t need to think it if we know.”
She smirks in trump, feeling as though she’s won.
-
You glance at the two with a sinking feeling in your stomach.
Is this the way your marriage is going to end? It took a while before you could remember where you knew her from and as soon as it clicked, you were fidgeting in your seat. Why did he allow her to sit so close to him?
She knows he's a married man and doesn't care. Maybe she thinks the marriage is fake and- you aren't worthy enough to be his wife.
You push the food around on your plate, your appetite forgotten. You remember the rumors about their relationship but could never be proven since she went back to India with her mother but now that she's back, you don't know what to think.
He notices and wishes that she didn't invite herself to join his family tonight.
You ask him about expanding the family line and him avoiding the topic entirely because he doesn't want you to feel as though this is a duty the two of you have to do.
He remembers when you two were first engaged and how you wanted to marry someone who truly loved you rather than someone marrying you out of a convenience.
His heartbeat when you told you should try for a child, he nearly passed out on the spot at the thought of you baring one of his children.
He knows you'd make fantastic mother; he doesn't doubt that in the least but since the wedding day he's realized something he should have a long time ago- something Kate is seeing for herself; he truly loves you.
Nowhere is it near what she thought they had but she's happy that he has someone who cares for him in more ways than she could.
-
She bids her farewells before pulling you to the side. "I apologize for intruding on your family dinner, but I think you should know you have nothing to worry about."
You furrow your brows. "I'm sorry, what-"
She shakes her head. "He loves you in more ways than he ever could care about me. I saw it tonight." She smiles, "all I ask is that you take care of him better than I could. I know you're good for him."
You stare at the door as it closes, unsure if anything that’s just happened is real or if this is a fever dream.
“Are you alright?”
You turn to face your husband and gulp. “Perfectly fine, why do you ask?”
“Did- She didn’t say anything, did she?”
The blank expression from your face falls and is replaced by one of annoyance. “What if she told me something she shouldn’t have? Is there something you wanted her to hide from me?”
He shakes his head, “is it too late to say no?”
You scoff, “you’re an idiot.” You close the door, not caring if it slams shut or not.
He stops it before it closes in his face, “I’m sorry I- it’s not true.”
“Then what is? Why do you care whether she’s told me about yours and her relationship or not? I know about you two. I’ve read the columns and-”
“That’s what I was worried about. I don’t want you to think something that isn’t true happened.” He stands behind the chair in front of your vanity. “I don’t want you think I’m a rake when I’m not, us marrying has changed things-”
“Us getting married is the only reason you’ve changed?”
“No,” he stumbles over his words, something he does more when he’s around you than anyone else he’s ever spoken to. “I-”
You push yourself out of the chair and walk towards the bed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I keep pushing and I’m sorry but right now, I just want to go to sleep.”
“After you listen to what I have to say.”
“I have not felt the way I do for anyone else. I- no words can come close to what I feel for you.”
His grip tightens on the back of the chair. “I cannot- cannot breathe when you are near.” He catches your gaze, “you drive me insane when you try and argue with me. I don’t understand how you have vexed me and stolen my every thought. When you are here all I can think of is you, when you go out with my sister, you are the one thing on my mind. I- you, you are the bane of my existence, but I can’t seem to keep myself from you.”
You turn around, catching his gaze in the mirror. “Why are you telling me this?”
He spins around, “so you understand why I have changed. It’s not because I don’t care for you. I care too much about you. I have for a long time which is why I was scared when that bee was near you.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I was terrified I was going to lose you and I didn’t understand why until our marriage.”
“But- that was days ago.”
“Exactly,” he takes a step closer. “I’ve been losing my mind trying not to push you into something you’re not ready for. And then, earlier when you came to me, telling me we should try for a child. I didn’t know what to think.”
“What about Kate?”
He owlishly blinks, trying to understand where you’re coming from. “What about her?”
“You’ve been with women before me and I’ve accepted that, but Kate was here, having dinner with your family. She’s- she’s been around town from what I’ve heard being whispered behind my back. She was here and you didn’t tell me. You- you say that you love me, but I don’t know what to believe when the woman you were in love with, who later broke your heart, returned into your life and you didn’t so much as think to tell me. Benedict was more involved than I was!”
You don’t know why you’re getting so upset over this, it shouldn’t bother you this much since you don’t-
“I didn’t want her to spout lies about me to you and make you think I am not going to be a good husband.” He grabs your hands, “believe me when I say she is not relevant. You are my future.”
Your chest heaves with every breath you take. “How-” Your nose twitches as you purse your lips, collecting your thoughts before you completely explode.
“How what?” He switches between looking into one eye and then the other.
“How could I be blind?”
“To what?”
“I have loved you since I could understand what the word meant and now you- you-” You gesture to your back, “help me with my corset. I cannot breathe.”
He nearly rips your dress off you as he pulls the strings keeping the oxygen from getting into your lungs.
You hang your head, trying to keep your emotions at bay.
“Sweetheart…”
You turn around, pointing at him with wet cheeks. “You have ruined me. You have ruined me for any other man since before my first debutant and have had my heart for just as long and I didn’t know it yet.”
He holds his hand out for you, allowing you to take a step closer to him.
You accept and stand with a few inches between you two. “You have bewitched me from the beginning, if you can accept my foolishness and accept me now, I would happily give myself to you only if you can return the feelings.”
“I wouldn’t be able to survive if I declined your love.”
For the first time since the wedding, the two of you share a genuine kiss and not one where he tries to use his body to distract you. It’s one that makes it feel like the world’s stopped spinning and you two are the only ones in the world.
-
A knock on the door alerts the two of you.
You wince, covering your eyes with your hand before reaching over for him. “Anthony, wake up.”
“I’m coming in and I hope you two are decent.” She groans, “God, you two are naked. Gross.” Mildred complains loudly to whoever stands outside the door with her. “I thought they’d at least have the decency to be awake by now.”
You can hear Benedict’s voice, but it comes out all muffled because you’re not fully awake.
He opens his eyes and turns his head to find your beautiful face lying beside him, hair in disarray on the pillow. His thumb brushes across your cheekbone. “Good morning, Viscountess Bridgerton.”
You find it hard to resist the urge to smile and open your eyes, staring at him with nothing but love and happiness. You hum, brushing back his hair so it doesn’t look as messy, wanting to see more of his handsome face.
“Good morning, Viscount Bridgerton.” You remove your hand from his hair, pulling his hand away from your cheek to peck his palm. “What do you have planned for today?”
“Spending time with my wife, although I do have to say, I don’t think she’d appreciate me lying in bed with someone as breathtaking as yourself.”
You can’t help but smile. “I think if you paid her the same comments you do to me, she’d understand.”
He sucks in air through his teeth, “I don’t know. I think you’d have to meet her to find out the kind of woman she is.”
“I think I know.” You lean against your elbow, meeting him halfway for a morning kiss.
“Would you two hurry up? We have plans. I did not come here on a boat to see you two to stay in bed when I have plans with my cousin. Do you hear me, Bridgerton?”
He sighs, flopping back onto his back. “How could I not?”
You smack his chest before pushing yourself out of bed. “I’ll be ready soon. Go downstairs and wait for me, Millie.”
“If you’re not down here before sunset. I’m leaving.”
You chuckle to yourself. “Okay.”
He pulls you closer to him, hands resting against your waist, slowly wrapping around you. He kisses the exposed parts of your back before pulling you down, kissing along your shoulders.
-
“This cannot be safe.”
“Just because it’s a new corset, doesn’t mean it’s not safe.”
“For the baby.” He ties the strings through the loops. “When can we tell them?”
“When they won’t freak out.”
“Never, okay.”
You chuckle and spin around, placing your hands on his shoulders. “They will know soon. It’ll be fine.”
He stares into your eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I think that’s my line.”
“Not today.”
You peck his lips before ordering him to tie the corset. “I’ll see you after our walk.”
“Don’t overexert yourself.”
“I won’t. Goodbye, ‘Thony.”
His eyes never left yours as you’re dragged away by your cousin.
Benedict steps inside. “Someone’s happy.”
He shakes his head, ignoring his brother; so happy go feed into the comments.
#Bridgerton#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton imagines#bridgerton fanfiction#bridgerton fanfic#anthony bridgerton#anthony bridgerton imagines#anthony bridgerton imagine#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x female reader#anthony bridgerton fanfic#anthony bridgerton fanfiction#anthony bridgerton x you#anthony bridgerton x fem!reader#anthony bridgerton x female!reader#Anthony bridgerton x fem reader#anthony bridgerton x plus! size reader#anthony bridgerton x plus size reader#crazyk-imagine#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x you#bridgerton x plus size reader#bridgerton x plus size!reader
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Okay, I've been seeing some Ozzie hate/criticism for a while now that mainly pertains to "Ozzie's" and "Oops," namely his interactions with Stolas/Stolas and Blitz with three points being brought up the most. I can concede to agree with one of the points, but what I don't like is that there is then no consideration for Ozzie's perspective on the matter in regards to "Ozzie's;" as for the other two points, they just make me want to pinch the bridge of my nose because I feel they are overlooking some very important stuff/factors. >_< So, hopefully I can get my points across on what I saw/heard in these situations and give at least some people pause for thought and if not, well, at least I got it off my chest. :/
First off, the point I concede on is that yes, Ozzie should apologize to Stolas for what happened at Ozzie's.
Stolas did not ask to get spotlighted and made into an example for all of Ozzie's to see, and bringing up Octavia is always going to be a sensitive subject, especially with how the divorce is affecting her.
Now for the perspective taking:
For Ozzie, he is seeing a consenting, adult couple out looking for some lusty, kinky fun; they are at Ozzie's after all. He doesn't know the circumstances that led to Stolas and Blitz winding up here. Ozzie likely even assumes that Stolas brought Blitz here given that he used his status to get into the club without a reservation. How is Ozzie supposed to know that Blitz was the one who brought him as a ploy to spy on Moxxie and Millie (so not a real date) as well as know the problems that are in the Stolitz relationship such as Stolas talking down to Blitz or that Blitz is using him too?
Also, it just irks me how people can come to understand Fizz's attitude towards Blitz in "Ozzie's" now that we know about the fire and believing that he was left for dead by Blitz, but see that it's Ozzie's fault for not knowing everything that's going on in Stolas's life (such as the trouble between him and his daughter arising from the divorce). True, Stolas does not have to tell Ozzie about his trauma/problems and that's completely fair, but then it's not right to go around and criticize Ozzie for not knowing that it's a sensitive subject. Stolas has been hiding so much from Octavia and likely everyone else because of multiple factors, but his main concern being Octavia learning secondhand about the abuse, depression and/or his drinking.
I know Ozzie's saying this about Fizz's trauma and he loves him, but it's clear he respects that he shouldn't tell Stolas about it/setting boundaries for personal information, so had he known though about Stolas's case, I highly doubt he would have made a spectacle of him cheating, especially considering the subject of abuse. Plus, wouldn't you think if Ozzie knew that Stolas had been physically and sexually abused by Stella, he'd be adamant to tear Stella a new one or see that she was punished, especially given his values on consent? >:(
In addition, all Ozzie had to say about Stella was that she's hot, so he likely has hardly ever met her enough to speak ill of her/know what she's really like; Stella's attitude towards imps alone would tick him off. >:( Anyway, Stella is not going to the Goetia meetings where they could have chatted and I doubt if he talked with Stolas, he'd say anything revealing or maybe even just chalk it up to Stolas not being satisfied by Stella. I also highly doubt Ozzie is going to waste his time going to Stella's parties when he has a ring and business to run along with wanting to spend time with Fizz. Plus, he'd likely favor either his own party or one thrown by Bee. ;)
Something to note too is just how happy Ozzie is that Stolas was with Blitz because besides him and Bee, to have a royal publicly display that they find someone of lower class attractive and wants to be lustful with is a big deal; Andrealphus even mentioned there hasn't been a Goetia like Stolas, although I can believe some Goetias doing the act of sleeping with those deemed the lower class in private. -_- Ozzie thinks the hierarchy is bunk or at the very least, you should treat people fairly and not act superior to them. So, by highlighting Stolas and Blitz, in addition to getting the performance back on track, he's showing lust is not bound be class differences and that giving into pleasure should matter more than saying, "Oh it can't work between us because you're an imp and I'm a Sinner" or one's an imp and one's a prince in Stolas and Blitz's case.
Ozzie's line "Now that's the spirit of lust" is also cause to see why he's so happy since he's seeing Stolas trade everything else in his life for the thing he desires most: to be with Blitz, or in the case of seeing the two of them at his club, inferring it was to have sex with Blitz; it certainly was some first class demonstration of lust, that's for sure.
Also:
There's also a decent chance he didn't see Stolas do this since he was back onstage immediately after, but if he had and with how observant he is, he likely would have had some questions for Stolas since Ozzie's isn't the place to be ashamed about what turns you on, so him doing this would have made him wonder what's up. :/ (Of course, now we know that the Stella part didn't matter to him, but that he was doing this at the expense of his daughter's happiness that Stolas felt ashamed and not for being seen with Blitz, but this moment still unfortunately sent us to the place we are now along with a slew of other problems contributing to it :/ ).
*Also, to nip it in the bud, it was Fizz and Verosika really doing all the Blitz bashing, not Ozzie, with him mainly just letting Fizz vent all his anger since as he put it to Blitz, "You've lived rent-free in Fizz's head for years," so this was supportive BF/husband stuff in hopes that it might help him heal since it seems Fizz and Blitz haven't had contact in those 15years to talk/work it out.
So long story short/just to recap, while Ozzie didn't do what happened at Ozzie's with malice and the fact that intentions do matter, he still did it and the damage was done, which is why I concede to him needing to apologize; until he knows everything though, he likely won't, so please don't see it as a flaw of his character that he hasn't until such time. :/
On to point two: I've been seeing it be said ever since "Oops" came out that Ozzie doesn't actually believe in helping Stolas and Blitz and only did it because Fizz told him he could. -_- Okay, well:
Ozzie is saying right here that he sympathizes with Stolas and why wouldn't he?! He flipping knows exactly what it's like to be in love with someone deeply and wanting to give them something that makes them happy! Yes, the reason he didn't give Stolas the crystal right then and there was because of Fizz, but that's because doing so would be an act of betrayal to Fizz, not that he doesn't see Stolas's side in this or understand why he wants this. Until the end of the episode, Fizz had hated Blitz and had clearly been verbal about it in the ~10yrs Ozzie and him have known each other, so going behind his back to help someone Fizz sees as his enemy is certainly grounds for relationship trouble and they'd lose so much of the trust that we see Fizz and Ozzie have. :(
The last thing that I've been seeing is people saying that Ozzie finds Stolas annoying or that Ozzie may even hate him because they heard him groan during this statement:
For me though, Ozzie groaned the whole sentence and not just Stolas's name, so it was not singling him out or if anything had a sighing aspect to it because it had been a long day, but more importantly, Ozzie's time with Stolas was mostly a flipping 12HR HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION!!!
That is not going to be a fun time no matter who Ozzie was with, okay?!
*I've also seen a comment about it being Stolas is a nerd compared to him when it's like, "Hello! Ozzie is a nerd too! He's literally a mechanical engineer who designs complicated robotic parts and sex toys! That takes a lot of math and physics!" Plus, I could see that being a point of interest for Stolas and Ozzie since calculating orbits, stars, eclipses, prophecies, etc. uses math and physics as well as Stolas would likely be fascinated with Ozzie's crystals.
The other thing people seem to forget is that Ozzie was also stuck with this guy:
The sleazy, asshole lawyer with a power kink, who sat in Ozzie's chair, talked down to him, pulled that move with the first contract so that they really had no choice but to thoroughly vet the bigger one with a fine-tooth comb, and kept delaying everything until the deadline literally came! >:(
Also, for people thinking about Ozzie being happy that he said no to giving Stolas his crystal:
This was him trying to cheer Fizz up, to let him know that although the day was undeniably terrible, Ozzie still respected his partner's wishes and knew that he wouldn't have wanted Blitz to have one of his crystals. Ozzie was even partially laughing while he said it in a "Oh, you're just going to love what happened babe!" or "You are not going to believe this Fizz!" kind of way in that maybe they could laugh about it sounding ridiculous for Blitz to have a crystal with how much Fizz hated him up to that point.
I know people may still think or feel how they want without budging by the end of this, but this is just what's been on my mind and I wanted to give my two cents on it. Also, part of the reason this is so long too is because I already analyzed the "Ozzie's" stuff for a fan fiction I wrote about it a year ago where Ozzie realizes he made some assumptions that night and was wrong. :/ Anyway, thanks for reading this giant thing. <3<3<3
#asmodeus#asmodeus helluva boss#helluva asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#ozzie#ozzie helluva boss#helluva ozzie#helluva boss ozzie#stolas#stolas goetia#stolas helluva boss#helluva stolas#helluva boss stolas#blitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#fizzarolli#helluva boss fizzarolli#fizzarolli helluva boss#helluva fizzarolli#stolitz#fizzmodeus#fizzarozzie#helluva boss#vivziepop#long post#analysis#screenshots#I just really needed to vent this out
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Hello, I just wanted to ask of you could do verosika x gn reader who serenades verosika, kinda like the same way moxxie did for millie in the house of asmodeous epi, after years of being in a serious relationship and proposes to verosika that way and verosika's reaction to the gesture (her love bird also is being a songbird now lol) and proposal?
Moxxie's song for millie in that epi got me crying and being a hopeless romantic. T-T
Thank you for considering my post in advance, My Liege.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ofc! sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy! (also you didn’t specify so i’m gonna do HC’s, i can always do a oneshot for you)
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verosika x gn! reader: you asking her to marry you HC’s
song: all i need by radiohead
• you and verosika have been dating for about 4 years now.
• she was a total mess whenever you met her because of blitz, so you literally had to fix her. she def had abandonment/attachment issues so the first year was kinda wonky
• she def got better with her issues because of the way you treated and reassure her
• however she was very hesitant to tell you she loves you, so you were the one who said it first and she gladly reciprocated
• the sex with her is amazing
• you felt ready to propose to her, but was also nervous as to what she would say. you know she loves you, but a part of you is thinking that she might not be ready for marriage and this could ruin the relationship.
• you decided to bite the bullet and prepare to propose. you wanted to sing for her at her favorite place, Ozzie’s, but you have no idea on what to even sing about.
• it took you months to write a song for her, but you finally finished the lyrics and bought her a ring.
• your last step was to ask her out on a date to Ozzie’s and she obviously said yes, two of her favorite things in the world, you and the restaurant Ozzie’s.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“why did you invite me out?” she took a sip of her champagne.
“because, i wanted to treat you nice. you deserve it…plus i got a surprise.” you winked.
“oo is it the new dragon driller?” she had a big smile on her face.
“uh..no..but just wait.”
fizz introduced you to everyone, and since you’re dating verosika everyone knew who you were.“this song is for my beautiful, amazing, and the most talented girlfriend. i absolutely love you.”
fizz handed you a guitar that has a strap so it’s easier to move around in. as you played the first notes verosika watch you in awe.
“you are all i need, you’re all i need, im in the middle of your picture lying in the reeds. i am a moth who just wants to share your light.”
verosika never heard you sing before, let alone sing about her to her. nobody has ever done this for her before.
“i’m just an insect, trying to get out of the night. i only stick with you because there are no others. you’re all i need.”
you motioned your hand to tell her to come up on stage with you. without hesitation she walked up the stairs and you two stood across from each other. you kept strumming on the guitar, “you are all i need, you’re all i need.” You swung the guitar back and got down on one knee as you pulled out and opened the ring box “will you marry me?”
verosika cupped her hands over her mouth as her eyes watered up. “yes!” she choked.
with a big smile on your face you pulled her into a tight hug. “i love you so much, V.” you mumbled, pulling away to slip the ring on her finger. “you’re all i need.”
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HOTD with book ages vs show casting
It's interesting to think about how fans perceptions of characters would be radically different if we had book accurate casting.
Emily Carey (aged 18-19 here) is perfectly age-accurate to play an 18-year-old Alicent.
Meanwhile Paddy Considine, at 48, was pushing it a fair bit to play a 29-year-old Viserys.
For reference, Tom Glynn-Carney was 28 while filming Season 2.
So not that he's my fancast for young Paddy or anything, but let's be real. You would all be writing self-insertxVizzy fics. Alicent would have no more agency in the marriage if Viserys was his book age than his show age, but fan perceptions of Viserys would definitely be different if he was played by a young and attractive actor (no offense of course to Paddy, he is serving Targaryen realness etc.)
Or look at Fabian Frankel. He would have been around 27/28 while filming season 1. You were shipping Alicole back when Emily Carey was still in the role, after all.
And then there's Rhaenyra, who was 8 during the events of the first episode, and 9 when Viserys married Alicent.
Milly Alcock, roughly 21 here, is just a tad older than 8-year-old Rhaenyra.
Amelie Child-Villiers would have been 12-13 while filming Rings of Power, so older than Rhaenyra at the very beginning but can pass for younger.
To anyone who thinks a child Rhaenyra wouldn't have been interesting to follow, er... have you read ASOIAF? There are quite a few prominent child POV characters, you may have noticed. And Alicent doesn't automatically become uninteresting if she's 18 rather than 15... or 40.
I mean I get it, Rhaenycent shippers, you prefer the sapphic dynamic in HOTD... and it is absolutely fine to prefer something! But it isn't inherently deeper or more interesting. It isn't objectively better. BFFesbians can be just as one-note as you claim step-mother/daughter relationships are with the wrong writing, and step-mother/daughter relationships can be richly complicated.
Now, I've already gone through the absolute horror that is book Rhaenyra and book Criston
Criston Cole was 22 when he met a 7-year-old Rhaenyra, 23 during the events of the first episode. So Fabian at 27 (pictured here) is a a few years older, but his age gap with Amelie is the same as Criston and Rhaenyra. And yikes. This is why 'Criston the Dad who Stepped Up' posts make me throw up in my mouth. (Also it is so weird that Criston is never recast after the time jump even though the actor is younger than Emma D'Arcy - Criston is 47 during the Dance).
And yes, Daemon has a similar age gap with Rhaenyra
Daemon was 24 during the events of the first episode. Though I would add that Daemon wasn't, contrary to popular opinion by greens, grooming Rhaenyra when she was a young child. There isn't really any indication that he paid particular attention to his 8-year-old niece - he was mostly sulking on Dragonstone in a relationship with an adult Mysaria for starters, and then he was off in the Stepstones till Viserys and Alicent's 5th wedding anniversary tourney.
From then, no I'm not in favour of a 30-year-old Daemon and a 15-year-old Rhaenyra... I am not in favour of childbrideros. But considering he'd been absent from her life between the ages of 8-15, and there is no indication he ever paid any attention to her before then... it is less creepy than Criston Cole being Rhaenyra's shadow from the age of 7, with rumours of a sexual relationship beginning at a point when she would have been 12-14.
By Westeros standards Daemon unfortunately falls into the 'culturally normalised and could have a whole lot worse' category (and tbf, considering the popularity of ships like SanSan...). This isn't a pro-daemyra or anti-daemyra post, I'm not really going to go into their relationship or whether or not it's healthy here, just clarifying that Daemon isn't the Humbert Humbert of this story - that would be Criston (not being Humbert Humbert of course is a very low bar).
And when it comes to the casting and how that impacts audience perceptions... Matt Smith at 39 was too old for both 24 and 30 year-old Daemon (though exquisite in the role of course).
Considering how his haters condemn Daemon for his actions in episode 1 while excusing Aegon for rape and Aemond for murdering Luke (and burning alive many many other children)... Let's have a look at an age-appropriate actor for 24-year-old Daemon and see if that changes anything.
Ooh would you look at that, Ewan Mitchell at 24 while filming S1.
Or Tom at 28 during S2, just two years younger than 30-year-old Daemon. With a face that wins hearts over rape. You telling me if Daemon was his book age you wouldn't be excusing his actions? You wouldn't be taking all the rape apology arguments Aegon stans use and applying them to Daemon's seduction of a 15-year-old Rhaenyra?
Especially if you still had him acting alongside 21-year-old Milly, who was supposed to pass for a 14 to 18-year-old Rhaenyra.
Hopefully though no one would be excusing a younger Daemon played by Tom Glynn-Carney if he had been put against an actual 14/15 year-old like Evie Allen. Who would have been a more age-accurate (and disturbing) casting for Rhaenyra...
Oh wait, how old was Maddie Evans (Dyana) while filming S1 again? 15? Never mind.
Casting teenagers in such scenarios is of course a difficult business - above all the first priority is to protect underage actors. Milly was well-suited to convincingly play Rhaenyra from early teens to late teens, and it's impossible to constantly re-cast for absolute age-accuracy across the time jumps. But it does impact perception - while the first priority is to protect underage actors, the casting of older actors to play teenagers does contribute to society's perceptions of teenage girls in particular as mature adults, rather than children.
Meanwhile the attractiveness of adult male actors - and the younger they are - does indeed shape what some audiences are willing to forgive or excuse. Reactions to Daemon and Viserys by fans (especially green fans) would be radically different if they were cast with their book ages - sorry to say it greens, but your objections to their characters is in large part due to the fact that you are not attracted to DILFS (or leprosy!). And even if we still aged up Rhaenyra like the show does when she first met Criston Cole, reactions to him during the Dance would be vastly different if he was played by a book-accurate 47-year-old. Again, Fabian Frankel is younger than Emma D'arcy.
Of course, the bar for age accurate casting is clear in the way we were supposed to accept Olivia Cooke playing Tom Glynn Carney's mother (they are two years apart).
Because again if Alicent had been 18 at the start of the show and 41 at the start of the dance she would have ceased to be an interesting character or something I guess. Because no one wants an older woman (ew gross!) as the series co-lead alongside a non-binary lead. And because mother/stepdaughter relationships are inherently one-note while BFFesbians are inherently rich, deep and complex... apparently. It has nothing to do with, you know, the writing quality.
Final Round!!! Aegon and Aemond picking fights with kids
Harvey Sadler here is 8/9 years old when he played young Lucerys. Which makes this baby face 2-3 years older than... a six-year-old Book Jacaerys when 10-year-old Aemond was 'pummelling him savagely'.
So yeah, "3 against 1" - the oldest of those 3 being younger than Harvey Sadler. And honestly, 6-year-old Jace has my undying respect for the sheer balls on him to go up against a bigger kid twice his age and size. Does he care that Aemond has just claimed the largest dragon in the world? No, he pushed over his baby brother!
"But it's more interesting if Aemond and Jace are peers" Maybe. If HOTD gave Jace equal screentime and character development perhaps. But they didn't. Any value added by making the antagonist interesting and sympathetic is cancelled out if the cost is ignoring the protagonist or making the protagonist boring (especially in a family civil war drama!).
"But sympathetic Aemond is much more interesting" I am not arguing against making him sympathetic. He is still a kid here, and he still has Aegon to bully him and earn him pity points and trigger a cycle of bullying as he takes out his grievances on others who don't deserve it etc. You don't need to age up his victims or remove sympathy or screentime from them. Sympathy doesn't have to be zero-sum.
Leo Hart was 13 at the time of filming, so the perfect age to play a 12-year-old Jace during the dinner scene where a grown-ass Aegon picks a fight with him over asking Helaena for a dance. Also an accurate age to play a 13-year-old Luke when Aemond murders him.
Elliot Grihault who played teenaged Luke was meanwhile actually closer in age to Book Jace during the dance than Harry Collett (no offence Harry, you still made a more believable teenager than 24-year-old Jon Snow did).
And lest we forget Aegon's true nemesis... 13 year old girls on tiny dragons 'no bigger than a horse'. No offence to a 24-year-old Bethany Antonia, but Shani Smethurst at 12 was perfectly cast to play Baela during the Dance and absolutely would have been the next Arya if this show didn't hate black girls.
But hey, at least we got adult Baela saying "I am blood and fire" while the script struggles (*cough doesn't bother) to find her anything to really do. That sure is an improvement over book Baela acting out, causing chaos, kissing kitchen boys and crying to save them from punishment, grieving alone on dragonstone after the gullet, trying desperately to get the adults around her to believe her suspicions about Grey Ghost, wrecking Aegon on her tiny dragon, being forced to grow up quickly under captivity and fiercely defending her rescuers from execution.
#hotd critical#emily carey#paddy considine#tom glynn carney#fabien frankel#amelie child villiers#matt smith#ewan mitchell#milly alcock#olivia cooke#shani smethurst#harvey sadler#leo hart#viserys i targaryen#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#anti criston cole#daemon targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#baela targaryen
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Best friend’s dad (KTH X fém!reader)
Summary: your best friend since high school has always loved having you over, but he dad barely tried to say hi to you. If he ever did talk to you, it would be him telling you you did something wrong. That is, until the night of her graduation, when he’s forced to give you a ride.
Genre: angst, smut, teeny bit of fluff
Warnings: age gap (Tae is 42, reader is 20), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, choking, Tae is mean, slapping, Tae is a lil crazy, rough sex, sorta kidnapping, orgasm denial, oral (f&m receiving), spanking, hair pulling, hickeys, cute lil ending.
A/N: lmk if I should do a part 2 bc I have some ideas🤫. Not proofread cus i rlly wanted to post it & it’s long (the story & sumthn else). Enjoy!!
You sat across the table from your best friend, Milly’s dad. Milly had been your best friend since you transferred to the school, she was a year younger than you and it was hard for the both of you after your grad last year.
Currently, you were at Milly’s grad, her and her mom were in the bathroom, leaving you alone with her dad, Mr. Kim.
Your best friends dad had never liked you, even though he’s never said it out loud, his body language made it pretty clear.
Whenever you were over he would either hide in his room or stay on the couch the whole time, trying his hardest to ignore your presence. “What do you want?”
His voice made you jump, only then did you realize that while you zoned out, you were staring right at him. “Nothing,” you rested your chin in your hand, looking at the entrance. You desperately tried to manifest Milly and Mrs. Lin in the doorway.
Taehyung and Serine had gotten a divorce a few years ago, she had no bad blood with him, but you weren’t sure that went both ways. They got together the odd time for important events such as graduation.
You couldn’t blame her, she was such a sweet person and he was the complete opposite. Although, you could also tell why she’d put up with him for so long.
The man was gorgeous, and from what you could tell from family photos, he hadn’t aged since he was 26. There were a handful of him when he was with a younger Milly, those were the only ones around his house.
From the first time you met Taehyung, you always knew his looks were the very first thing people noticed, it was what you noticed. “Y/n,” he snapped you out of your thoughts once again. Somehow, anytime you did zone out, your eyes landed back on him. “You keep staring, what do you want?”
His voice was low and stern, as if he’d rather not be in the same country as you. “I already said it was nothing,” you rolled your eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” he sneered, an intensity in his voice. “All I did was ask you a question, don’t be a brat.”
You straightened yourself, pointing a finger at him. “I ans-“
“We’re back!” Mrs. Lin gave you a sweet smile, taking her seat next to you. You curled your hands in your lap, deciding to keep your mouth shut.
Taehyung raised an eyebrow at you, you swore you saw his lip curl up in a smirk. He knew he won the argument, as he usually did when the two of you argued.
“Are you guys done?” Milly gestured to your empty plates, you both nodded. She’d received her certificate and the school provided a full meal, you were a bit jealous, her meal was better than yours.
“Perfect, then we can head to the after party!” Milly clapped her hands, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up.
You made your way to where both her parents cars were parked, she opened the front passenger door and got in, you tried to open the back but it was locked. “Milly, the doors locked.”
She rolled down the window, Mrs. Lin came up beside you. “Everything alright, dear?” She asked you, placing her hand on the small of your back.
“Yes of course, the doors just locked.” You told her, Milly pressed the unlock button on the door.
“I’m going home, you girls have fun.” Taehyung walked past you to Mrs. Lin’s car, waving you off.
“You’re not coming to the after party?” She stomped around the back of the car, grabbing the sleeve of his leather jacket. If there was one thing you knew about Taehyung, it’s that he knew style.
“If you’re taking the girls then there’s no point of me being there.” He shrugged her off, she let out a frustrated sigh.
“Y/n can go with you,” she looked at you with desperate eyes. You knew she wanted Milly’s dad to be present, but this was the one thing you wouldn’t do. You shook your head. “Come on, it’s a 10 minute drive!”
“Mrs. Lin that’s not a good idea, maybe Milly could go with her dad?” You looked at Milly, she ignored you and rolled the window back up. She knew how much you two hated each other, and you also knew she wouldn’t waste the opportunity to throw you into a situation like this. You looked back up at Mrs. Lin, she looked at you with pleading eyes and you couldn’t say no. “Fine.”
“Thank you!” She came over and gave tou a tight hug, you smiled into her shoulder. She hurried around the front of the car and got in behind the wheel. “Just follow us to the hotel and let us know when you get there.”
You nodded and she pulled away, there they went, your only chance of peace. You looked through the empty parking spot at Taehyung, his eyebrows furrowed and a heavy scowl pointed in your direction. “Fuck,” he shook his head.
You huffed, reluctantly making your way to the car. You pulled open the passenger side door, sliding onto the cool leather seat of his car.
As soon as you closed the door, you were flooded with the scent of his cologne. It was a sweet, woody scent, you could also smell a faint hint of cigarettes. You knew he smoked, but he was pretty good at hiding it.
He slid into the drivers seat, shoving his keys into the dash. You looked away from him, staring straight out the window in front of you. He pushed the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot, the light turned yellow as soon as he turned onto the road.
Little did you know, this was going to be the theme of the night. Each red light irked him more, and you could tell. His jaw was clenched, knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel. “Roll down your window,” he grumbled.
You did as he said, he rolled down his own and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, taking advantage of the red light to light his cigarette. He lit the end and threw the lighter onto the centre console before pressing the gas once the light was greens.
He hollowed his cheeks as he breathed in the smoke, highlighting his cheekbones in the dim light. Damn, he looked good. He stuck his head out the window and blew out the smoke.
“I think you do want something, because you’ve been staring at me all night.” He took another puff, this time blowing it in your direction.
“I don’t want shit,” you scowled, waving your hands in front of your face. “I didn’t even want you to drive me here, if it weren’t for Serine I’d be with them and you’d be at home drinking until you get a massive hangover.” You pointed an incriminating finger at him, crossing your legs.
He slammed on the breaks once he pulled in the parking lot, he threw his cigarette out the window and rolled them up. He twisted his torso to face you, his strong hand came up to grip your face, turning your head to face him.
His eyes were fiery, boiling into yours. It made your stomach flip, your hands flew to the sides of your seat. “You don’t fucking talk to me like that in my car, you got that?”
His hand squeezed your face harder, making you let out a little whimper. He shook his head, laughing lowly. “Don’t you start acting like you’re scared now, if you can be all bratty with me in the restaurant and have the audacity to bitch at me in my car,” he paused, savouring the terrified expression on your face. “Then you can deal with the pissy attitude you’re gonna get from me.”
You let out a huff, you were about to cross your arms when he pulled your face closer to his, your nose nearly touched his, you could smell the cigarettes on his lips. “What are yo-“
“Shut up,” he slapped the side of your face. Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe what he just did. You never thought you would ever be this close to Taehyung, the intensity of the situation almost arousing you. Before you could say anything else, his hand came back on your face. “You fucking like it!”
“I do not!” You yelled back, as best as you could with his hand squishing your cheeks together. Your eyes met his, the pure anger in his eyes still present, but fading.
“I don’t believe you,” he tilted his head to the side, looking deeper into your eyes. “I can tell just by the way you’re looking at me,” he smirked, then a look of realization came over his face.
His thumb came up and rubbed against your bottom lip, your thighs squeezed together, gaining his attention. “That’s why you keep staring at me, isn’t it?” He patronized, his free hand slid up your knee, slipping between the slit of your dress. His warm fingers grasped your upper thigh, digging into the skin. “Every time you zone it’s cus you’re thinking of me, isn’t it? They aren’t very holy, are they?”
“Mr. Kim this is-“
“That’s not what you call me in your dreams is it?” He moved forward, pressing your back against the passenger side door. He was so close to you, his thumb tugged your lip down, eyes scanning your body.
You cowered under his gaze, your hands came up to his wrist, trying to tug his hand away from your face. “It’s not what you think, I was just thinking!” You tugged harder, he gave you a shove and pulled his hand away.
“You want my hand off your face?” He growled, unbuckling his seatbelt, he leaned over the console and wrapped his hand around your neck. You were so caught off guard that you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out from your lips, he looked at you with a fierce look in his eyes. “You like that, huh? I fucking knew it,” he shook his hand, your torso bouncing forward.
“No!” You countered, his hand came away from your thigh and grabbed your wrists, pinning them over your head onto the window.
“Stop arguing,” he commanded, squeezing your back tighter.
“Gonna be- late,” you managed, trying to take deeper breaths.
“Then admit it,” he sneered, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. “Admit that you have dreams just like this.”
“Tae- let me-“
“It’s so simple, all you have to do it admit it. Admit that you have nasty dreams about me, admit that just the thought of me gets you wet,” he growled.
“Fuck fine!” You broke down, he loosened his grip on your neck. “You make me so wet, I have horrible, sexual dreams about you all the time!” You took a deep breath, trying to look away in embarrassment.
“Now you’re shy?” He teased, sticking out his lip in a mock pout. “Look at me,” his hand came off of your throat and back up to your chin.
Reluctantly, you turned back to him, your cheeks were bright red and your face was contorted in a look of shame.
“From now on, you call me Taehyung, you got that?” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “You’d better listen to me for the rest of the night or else you won’t be getting a ride home. Got that?” You nodded again. “Use your words, bitch.”
“Yes Taehyung,” you forced the words out of your body. No matter how scared of him you were, there was still a bone in your body that told you not to submit to him.
“Good girl,” his voice was deep. His usual, deep honey-like voice was raspy and thick with lust. You let out a small gasp, you couldn’t believe his words.
Taehyung gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding you still while he moved closer. His lips met yours softly, he only stayed for a moment before pulling back. “Don’t wanna be late,” he mocked you, opening his door.
You rolled your eyes once he got out, you got out of the car and followed him towards the entrance. He held the door for you, you hummed in acknowledgment and paced to the front desk. “Hi, we’re here for the grad after party,” you gave the man the name of your old school.
“Of course, it’s on the fifth floor.” He gave you a plastic hospital looking bracelet that the valet would check at the door, he gave another one to Taehyung.
He followed you to the elevator, you clicked on the up arrow and stepped back from the door. A group of people filed out, leaving the elevator to the two of you.
Taehyung pressed the 5 button on the elevator and the doors closed, your stomach tensed when he turned back to you. He didn’t say anything, he moved beside you and stood at your side, the cool leather of his jacket brushed against your arm.
On the second floor the doors opened again, a group of people came in, all in suits and chatting about business. They clicked a button and the elevator started moving again, you let out a squeak when you felt his hand brush against your ass.
You looked around, no one heard you. Your eyes panned up to Taehyung, he sported a smirk and only you knew why. His hand slipped from the small of your back to your ass, large hand squeezing the soft flesh.
You reached behind you and grabbed his wrist, giving his wrist a squeeze as a warning. All this did was make him squeeze harder, your muscles clenched.
Suddenly you were saved by the ding of the elevator. Taehyung pulled his hand away and you squeezed past the people in front of you. The hallways had arrows pointing to the room where the party was held.
“Go have fun,” he gestured towards the door. “I’ll be near the door whenever you’re done.” He reached out to grab the door knob, pausing to look back at you. “I shouldn’t have to say this, but you’d better not get too close to anyone, understand?”
“I won’t,” you promised. He still didn’t move, you swallowed hard. “I won’t, Taehyung.”
“There we go,” he gave you a small smile. He opened the door and you showed your bracelets to the bouncer. Once you got past, he leaned down to your ear. “Milly and Sienne don’t hear about this, or I’ll have to do something about it.” With this, he disappeared into the crowd.
You stood still, eyes scanning the crowd for Milly, before you decided to stop and think for a minute. You hadn’t even thought of what happened with Taehyung, the stoic man who’s barely uttered more than a sentence to you at a time, just made you confess to your dreams, kissed you, and threatened to leave you on the side of the road if you didn’t “behave.”
As much as you’d fantasized about him touching you, you never thought he’d patronize you in that way. Who the hell was he to tell you to behave, tell you to be good, he wasn’t your father.
You crossed your arms, there was no way he was gonna do that to you again. No fucking way. Just thinking about it made you feel stupid, all those years of standing up to him and arguing just so that you would cower under a single touch.
You weren’t some weak kid, you were an adult and he wasn’t gonna treat you like that. You turned around to go find him and give him a piece of your mind, when you ran right into Milly.
“Y/n! I saw dad a few minutes ago,” she stopped, raising an eyebrow at you. “You don’t look very happy.”
“Of course I’m not happy, Milly.” You sighed, taking a deep breath. “I just spent 10 minutes in the car with your dad, I don’t mean to be a downer, but he’s really just-“
“Difficult? Yea I know, but seeing the look on both of your faces was so worth it!” She laughed, pointing at your angry expression. “Now come on, you’ll never have to have another car ride with my dad after tonight, promise.” She drew and X over the left side of her chest, giving you a sympathetic smile.
“Fine, but only because it’s for you.” You rolled your eyes, you were so easily persuaded by her. You always remembered that she was the only reason you put up with the man, especially after arguments.
The rest of the party was amazing, they had an amazing playlist and you and Milly danced for hours, with people, with each other, with her mom. The party seemed to go on for hours, and Taehyung was no where to be found.
By the time midnight rolled around, you and Milly were both ready to go home. You to your apartment and her to her mom’s, you followed her to find Mrs. Lin. “Y/n, you’re going with dad, remember?” She yawned, but her comment snapped you back to reality.
Of course she wasn’t gonna let this slide, you said goodbye and wandered through the crowd to find Taehyung, or anyone you knew who could drive you home.
You recognized your French teacher and almost tapped her shoulder before someone yanked yours, you turned around and sure enough, it was Taehyung. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Trying to find you,” you told him, then softer. “Or another ride.” You gasped when he grabbed your arm, squeezing your wrist as a sign of warning.
“Tae, you’re good to take her home, right?” Mrs. Lin came up behind him, he quickly let go of your wrist, turning to face her. “Because if not I can just bring her back home and-“
“I’ll be fine, it’s on the way home anyway.” His voice sounded nonchalant, but you knew there was rage somewhere in there. He was right about that though, your apartment was in walking distance.
“Thanks Tae, call me if anything’s wrong!” She skipped to the door, where Milly waved in your direction.
“Let’s go,” Taehyung stormed out in front of you, not bothering to pull you along. You hurried after him, his stride was much longer than yours, so you had to take two steps more than he did just to keep up.
“Slow down!” You shouted, he paused and turned around, taking a step towards you. He pointed a threatening finger in your direction, getting closer to your face.
“You shout at me one more time and you see what fucking happens, you hear me?” He growled, his voice deep and stern.
“What the fuck, I’m-“
“A fucking brat, that’s what you are.” He grabbed the sides of your face, gripping it roughly. “And someone’s gonna have to teach you how to behave.” He pulled his hand away just to slap your face, grabbing it between his hands again.
“Let go,” you grabbed his wrist. You tried to pull his hand away, but his grip was too strong.
“Why?” His voice was soft, almost condescending. “Just a second ago you wanted me to wait for you, and now you’re trying to get away?”
He pulled his hand away and pressed the down button on the elevator behind him. The hallway was empty, to your liking, you didn’t need anyone seeing this and didn’t want anyone to either.
The elevator ride was silent, he stayed on the opposite the elevator, not bothering to spare you a glance.
You followed him to his car, once again silently sliding into the passenger seat. The car ride home was dead silent, he didn’t even turn on the radio. The only noise there was was the hum of the engine and other cars outside.
When you turned onto your street you went to unbuckle your seatbelt, but he didn’t slow down. “Hey slow down,” your voice broke the silence, but it didn’t phase him.
His foot stayed steady on the gas, driving past your apartment. “What the fuck! Taehyung! Slow down, you missed the apartment!” You cried, you reached down to pull on the door handle but the door was locked, of course it was. “You’re crazy, you’re fucking insane!”
“What did I say about yelling, huh?” He demanded, taking a sharp turn down the road and into the driveway of his house. “I told you to keep your voice down, and you didn’t listen to me.”
He parked the car and shoved the keys into his pocket. “Now, you’re gonna see what happens when you don’t behave.” His hand flew down to his hips, unbuckling his belt and pulling it out of the loops. “You’re gonna come into the house with me,” he explained.
You tried to push him away, but to no avail. His big hand gripped the back of your neck, pressing the right pressure points to make your body stiffen. With the other hand, he shoved part of the belt into your mouth and tied it right around the back of your head. “And you’re gonna be quiet, try not to wake the neighbours.”
Taehyung got out of the car, unlocking your door only when he was close enough to grab you. He dragged you into his house, locking the car and the door before finally turning back to you. “You know, I bet we’d get along just fine if you weren’t such a bitch.”
His words stung, he’d insulted you before, but somehow they hurt more now that you were in such a vulnerable situation. He took the belt out of your mouth, discarding it on the floor. “But that’s what you thrive off of, isn’t it? You live for these arguments, don’t you?”
You shook your head, he moved closer to you, making you backup until you body was pressed between his and the counter. “Of course it is, you told me it is.”
Your hands came up to his chest, hesitating between pushing him away or letting it happen. “Are you gonna go back home?” His question surprised you, you thought you could hear doubt in his voice. “You gonna go home and rub one off, huh? Think about me again or stay and see what happens?”
“I- uh stay,” you murmured, avoiding eye contact with him. He let out a low hum, presumably one of satisfaction, and turned your head back to face him.
“Look at me,” he instructed, hand falling down to the flimsy strap on your shoulder. His other hand held his weight on the counter behind you, his eyes panned your body once again, observing your curves in your skintight dress, your chest heaving up and down, and your thigh that stuck out of the slit of your dress.
His eyes came up to meet yours once more, a coy smile displayed on his lips. “Good girl,” he whispered. The words sent shivers through you, your fingers gripped the smooth leather of his jacket. His eyes poured into yours, the rage barely present and lust taking over.
His lips smashed into yours, locking you in a kiss that was much more intense than the peck you shared earlier that night.
His hands came up and grabbed a fistful of your hair, directing your head however he wanted. His other hand slid both of your straps off your shoulders, the lacy bra you wore becoming more and more exposed.
His hand came down to your chest and squeezed one of your tits, making you moan into the kiss. His thumb swiped over the middle of your breast, feeling your stiff nipple through the thin fabric of your bra.
His hand directed your head to the side, his tongue prodded at your bottom lip, your lips parted for him and let his tongue inside. He tasted like bourbon and cigarettes, he must’ve gotten his hands on a drink at the party.
Your tongues danced together, him quickly gaining dominance. His teeth bit at your bottom lip, dragging it out then letting go when he pulled back. “Come with me,” his arm slid around your waist and lead you to his bedroom.
His hand came to your back and gave you a harsh shove, sending you flying to the bed. Your body was squished against the bottom of the bed, bent over on the mattress.
You tried righting yourself when a hand came down on your back shoving you down against the mattress. “Feeling brave now, Y/n?” His fingers dig into your back, you were sure they would leave bruises.
You mumbled in response, your head was turned to the side on the mattress. “I thought I told you to use your words.” He tsked, pressing you harder into the mattress. “Answer my question, are you still feeling brave?”
“No,” you squeaked, struggling against his hand. The attitude you previously had fading, you weren’t scared of him, but you knew he could over power you in a second.
“That’s right,” he grabbed one of your legs and lifted it, sliding your body onto the bed with ease. “Because I have you all to myself now, I can do whatever I want.” He leaned down and moved your hair away from your neck, his lips pressing against the sensitive skin.
His tongue came out of his mouth and wet your skin, he sucked small marks into the side and back of your neck. Deep red blotches appearing each time he moved away, you let out a whine.
His hand slid down your back, taking a handful of the soft flesh of your ass. He moved your dress up, the fabric pooling at your waist. He let out a groan when he reached down between your legs, you bit your lip and grabbed onto the arm that steadied himself on the bed.
“Fuck, look at you.” His fingers reached past your panties and rubbed through your folds. His finger stopped at your clit, giving your swollen nun a few rubs.
“Fuck Tae, please!” You cried, trying to grind onto his fingers.
“Now you want it, huh?” He sneered, he sounded like a hungry animal watching his prey. “Hate to break it to you, but you’ve gotta earn it.”
He took his hand away from your core, you whined out in loss. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you up to your knees, you arched your back, waiting to see what he would do next.
He sat on the bed in front of you, putting his legs on either side of your body. “You’re gonna suck it, baby.” He patted his lap, an obvious bulge forming in his jeans. “Okay?”
You nodded, he smiled and reached up to move your hair out of your face. Your hands hesitantly reached for his jeans, toying with the button and zipper.
You felt dirty, what you were doing was dirty. Your fantasy was finally coming true and yet you were hesitant, you reached into his pants, pressing your palm against his dick.
Taehyung let out a groan, he didn’t realize how touch starved he’d been. He barely got out and hardly ever bothered to touch himself, he’d always suspected you were sweet on him, but now he knew he was right.
“Take it out,” he instructed, rolling his hips up into your palm. “Don’t be shy now, you’ve finally got what you want.” His fingers brushed underneath your chin, biting his lips.
Your hand dipped into his boxers and wrapped around his length, you carefully pulled it out, your mouth watered at the sight.
You’d always assumed it was big but you never expected this, his cock was long, from what you could tell it was 7, maybe 8 inches. The thing that surprised you the most was how thick it was, you could barely wrap your whole hand around it.
“Looks so good,” you licked your lips, your teeth coming out to bite your bottom lip.
“Have a taste,” he wrapped his hand in your hair, pushing your head down a bit. You dropped to your elbows so you were face level with his cock, you looked at him with a look of want.
You licked a stripe up the bottom of his length, feeling the ridges of his veins against your tongue. He let out a delicious moan, encouraging you to do it again.
Your tongue licked through the slit on his tip, gathering the pre cum rolling out of it. You wrapped your mouth around his head, letting out a groan at his taste. “I think you can do better than that, huh?”
His hand gave your head a small nudge, pushing you down further on his length. You let him push you, controlling your movements. “Fuck yes, use that fucking tongue.”
He pushed you down until you gagged on his cock, barely making it halfway down. You moaned around his length, hollowing your cheeks around him. He moved you up and down faster, wet, gagging sounds coming from your mouth as you moved.
The phone rang, making you jump, but Taehyung still had his hand on the back of your head, easing you back down. He reached over and grabbed his house phone, “It’s Milly, so you’re gonna have to be quiet for me.”
He gave you a stern look, answering the phone. “Yea?” He answered the phone dully, rolling his hips up into your mouth, testing your gag reflex.
“Hey dad, is Y/n at your place?” Her question made him tense, you froze, but his hand kept moving.
“I dropped her off at her apartment, why?” His voice was stern, you assumed he’d know how to handle it, you could tell by the tone of his voice.
“She won’t answer my calls, and when I checked her location it said that she was still at your place.” Milly whined, Taehyung rolled his eyes.
“She might have left her phone in my car,” he explained. “Even so, it’s like 1 in the morning she’s probably asleep.”
He looked down at you, biting his lip as he made you move faster, making it harder for you to stay quiet. “I’ll just go check on her tomorrow, night dad.”
“K, goodnight.” He didn’t wait for a response and hung up the phone, throwing it back onto the receiver. “Good girl, staying quiet for me.”
You hum in response, feeling his cock twitch on your tongue. He pulled your head off of his cock, the flushed head of his cock hitting the fabric of his shirt.
“Strip,” he told you. You didn’t waste time, you stood up off of his bed and reached for the zipper on the back of your dress.
“Can you help me?” You turned back to him, biting your lip. You widened your eyes, he nodded and you moved back to him.
His warm fingers came up to the zipper, they brushed against your back, making you shiver. He pulled the zipper down, taking his time. He gave your ass a small tap to let you know he was done, you shimmied the straps down your arms, pulling the dress off of your chest until it looked at your feet.
“Turn around,” he instructed. You did as he said, holding your hands together in front of you, heat rising to your cheeks. “You look so good,” he muttered, licking his lips. “Come here.”
Taehyung held out his arms, guiding your body to lay across his lap. His fingers hooked into the sides of your panties, pulling them off in one go. “So wet, and all for me.”
His fingers spread you open, letting him get a better look. “As much as I’d love to just dive in, I didn’t forget how bratty you were earlier.”
His hand came up to caress your ass, lifting his hand off for a moment and coming down with a loud smack. You let out a yelp, tensing as he rubbed the wounded flesh. “That hurt!” You grumbled, looking up at Taehyung. His lip stuck out in a mock pout.
“Really? That’s the point, baby.” He layed another harsh smack on your ass, leaving a handprint from the force.
You whimpered, holding onto his strong thigh beneath you. He was relentless, going from side to side making it feel like he hit harder each time. By the time he was done, your flesh was bright red and sensitive. “Had enough, Y/n?”
“Yes,” you mumbled, voice shaking while you tried your hardest to hold back tears.
“Learn your lesson?” He asked, rubbing your ass to soothe the burn he’d caused. “Won’t disobey me again, right?”
“No, I’ll be good.” You promised, sniffling.
“There you go, pretty.” He pulled you up onto his lap, you threw a leg over his and straddled his lap, folds sliding on his angry cock. “You’re okay,” he chided, brushing tears away from your cheeks with his thumb. “So pretty when you cry for me.”
He brought your face closer to his, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. He was softer than before, but it didn’t last long before he flipped you onto your back. “Stay,” he commanded.
He slid off the bed, dropping his jeans and boxers, he shrugged off the jacket, revealing his toned arms. You’d seen him without a shirt previously, and for his age, he was built well. His torso was toned, his skin was smooth and everything in his body seemed to be fully functional, you were about to find out just how functional one part was.
He pulled his shirt over his head, muscles flexing as he threw it to the side. His shoulders were broad and tanned, you licked your lips as he crawled back on top of you. “Why don’t we lose this, yeah?”
He tugged on the middle part of your bra, you nodded and let him reach behind you, undoing the clasp and pulling it away. He shoved his face between your breasts, sucking spots into the soft flesh. “Oh fuck!”
You moaned when his teeth grazed your nipple, wrapping mouth around it and tongue toying with the sensitive bud. He took his time moving to your neglected breast, giving it the same treatment as the other one.
He made his way down your abdomen, making eye contact with you as he reached your pelvis. His hands roughly groped your thighs, forcing them apart.
“Didn’t get to taste you earlier,” his thumb toyed with your clit, making your hips stutter. He licked a stripe up your core, gathering your slick on his tongue. “You’re so sweet,” he told you, dipping his tongue into your folds.
You let out moan after moan, feeling him dip his tongue into your hole, which immediately made you clench around him. “You like that, huh? Fucking dirty girl,” he shook his head, tongue flat against your clit.
“Taehyung- fuck!” Your hand flew down to his hair, gripping his firm black locks. He kept going, suckling your pussy like a madman. You felt one digit enter you, his fingers felt so much better than yours. They were long and slender, reaching places inside of you that you could only dream of.
“Pull me closer, fuck,” he groaned, affected by the grip you had on him. You tangled your hand tighter in his hair, gripping him against you tightly.
Your hips quivered, shaking under his touch. “Fuck, fuck so close,” you whimpered, your breath becoming shallow when he added another finger. You clamped your fingers tighter around his hair as your orgasm approached, when he suddenly pulled away.
Your grip weak, he was able to slip out of your grasp. “So soon? I barely touched you,” he tsked, shaking his head. “Think I’m gonna let you cum on my fingers, huh? Oh I don’t think so,” he chuckled, he could tell you were pissed.
He waited for you to say something, but you kept your mouth shut, you knew he’d wait longer to give you what you wanted if you argued with him. “Good girl, I guess you’ve learnt your lesson.”
He knelt over you, dropping down to his forearms to press his lips to yours. You welcomed him in immediately, shoving your tongue past his lips. You took a deep breath through your nose, basking in his scent.
You could feel his cock rub against your leg, pre cum dripping from his tip and rubbing onto your smooth thigh. His lips sucked on yours, tongues diving into the others with an unmentioned passion.
Taehyung pulled back, his lips were pink and swollen, you were sure yours looked the same. “You want this, baby?” He reached down, fisting his cock and tapping it against your leg gently.
“Yes, yes please.” You begged, but he didn’t move. “Taehyung please,” you reached up and grabbed him by the hair, pulling his upper body onto yours.
“What do you call me in your dreams?” He demanded, planting a wet kiss on your jaw. “I can’t believe you call your best friend’s dad by first name, do you baby?”
“Please, I need your cock,” you paused, he looked up at you. “Dadd-“ you murmured.
“What’s that baby? I couldn’t hear you,” he teased, ready to line himself up with you as soon as you said it.
“Daddy,” you caved, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
“No need to be embarrassed,” he ran a finger down the side of your cheek, making you look up at him. “If that’s what you think about then that’s what I wanna hear.”
You felt the tip of his cock prod at your entrance, he took his time to push in, stopping once his tip was in. “You ready, babe?” He purred, propping himself up with his hands beside your head.
“Yes, daddy, please!” You whined, trying to grind down on him.
“You’ll get what you want,” he promised, thrusting his hips all the way in. You moaned at the stretch, it felt like he was ripping you open. “Pussy’s so tight, doesn’t get enough attention, huh?”
You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hips started moving faster once you adjusted to his size, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust.
“Fuck fuck fuck! Right there, fuck yes!” You moaned, your high creeping up on you again.
“You gonna cum again, baby? Gonna cream on this cock?” One of his hands came off of the mattress, wrapping around your throat and restricting your airways just enough so you became light headed. You grabbed his wrist, letting out a loud whine.
His pace was relentless as he pounded into you, the hand on your neck keeping you from sliding up the mattress. His hand tightened and loosened every so often, letting you catch your breath then immediately taking it away.
His hair stuck to his forehead, his mouth hung open slightly, letting groans escape his lips every so often. His muscles flexed each time he changed his grip around you’re neck, his v line becoming more and more prominent with each thrust.
You felt like you were on fire, your bodies were soaked, your thighs felt sticky with your slick and your core ached, needing release. “Please let me cum, daddy. Please, I need to!” You begged, tears brimming your eyes.
“Gonna cry for me? You need to beg for it, cry for it.” His thrusts slowed down to an agonizing pace, you knew it must be driving him crazy, but the lengths he was willing to take torment you were far wider than you would like.
“Daddy please, please I need you to make me cum! Need to cum on your cock, please, daddy.” You begged, wrapping your legs around his waist. He snapped his hips deep inside you, causing the tears to fall. “P-please I need you, need to cum on you, want you to cum in me, so bad. Need you to fill me up, please daddy, please.”
You sobbed, trying to pull him closer. “On your knees,” he pulled out, landing a slap on your thigh.
Complacent, you rolled onto your stomach, propping yourself up on your knees. “Making your cunt drip, so wet for me.” He pushed back into your pussy, plowing you into the mattress with the force of his hips. “Ah fuck, pulling me in so well.”
His hands flew up to your waist, squeezing it roughly to keep you close to him. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, letting out loud whines the closer you got. “Please, please let me cum! Please daddy I need to,” you sobbed, your release was so close, you weren’t gonna last.
You felt his hand comb through your hair, which was sweaty and going in every direction. The breath was knocked out of you when he wrapped his hand in your hair, pulling you up so your back was pressed to his chest.
“You wanna cum, huh?” His hips snapped at an incredulous pace, the hand holding your hair came to wrap around your neck, making it easier for him to control you. His other hand slid down the front of your body and rested on your clit, not moving.
You bucked your hips in anticipation, feeling the need for more friction. You nodded desperately, reaching around him to hold yourself up with his waist. “Please daddy, please!”
“Sure baby, I’ll let you cum.” His fingers started moving slower than his hips were, the muscles in your stomach tensed. “But where am I gonna cum?”
His fingers sped up, one of your hands flew up to his wrist, digging your nails into his skin. “Here,” you muttered, tapping his hand that was rubbing your clit.
“Yea? You want my cum inside you?” He sped up his fingers, making your legs twitch. He took his hand off your neck, pushing you back down on the mattress. “Gonna fill you up, little girl.”
You whined at his words, your legs barely held you up on the mattress. Taehyung noticed, and he wouldn’t miss a chance to manhandle you. He pulled out for a fraction of a second, flipping you onto your back and thrusting back inside with ease.
“Look so good filled with cock, little brats not so bad anymore, are you?” He reached up and grabbed one of your tits, his thumb toyed with your nipple. His other hand came up and massaged both of your tits, pressing them together and manipulating them however he wanted.
“No m’ good,” you whined, your eyes meeting his. Your eyes were blurry and wet, you were sure that your eyeliner was running, your face was wet from your tears. Your eyes were begging his, begging for release, for his release.
“That’s right,” he groaned, taking his hands away from your tits and admiring the handprints he left. He set his hands on the mattress on either side of you, he panted heavily, hips stuttering every so often. “Good for me.”
“Tae- Tae I’m gonna- fuck!” You reached up and grabbed his shoulders, digging your nails into his shoulders, making him hiss. His fingers came down to your clit, rubbing fast circles. “Gonna cum!”
“S’right baby, cream on my cock.” He panted, your legs convulsed on his shoulders, hips shaking with each thrust. You let out a loud moan, finally reaching your climax.
You came and you came hard, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You could feel your orgasm running down your thigh, the sound of him thrusting into your getting sloppier and more wet. “So fucking wet, I make you feel good huh?”
Taehyung took his hand away from your clit, when your eyes focused again, you were met with the sight of your dreams. His hips snapped into yours, he let out moans that your were sure to remember and that you’d never want to forget.
He bit his lip, you could feel his cock twitching inside you. “M’ sensitive,” you whined, thighs trying to clench around him.
“I know baby, I know.” He moaned, dropping to his elbows. His face dropped between your soft breasts, lips leaving soft kisses. “Wanna cum in you, wanna fill you up so bad,” he muttered, you felt his voice vibrate against your chest.
“Yes, yes daddy I need it!” You wrapped your legs around his waist, your fingers wrapped around his hair, giving it gentle tugs every so often.
“Fuck!” He moaned, hips coming to a stop, stuttering when he was deep in you. His heavy cock twitched against your walls, finally releasing into you.
“Oh that feels good,” you moaned, softening your grip on his hair. Your hands raked through his raven-coloured locks, scratching his scalp gently. You felt his seed shoot into you, making your insides warm.
“Yea,” he mumbled, taking a minute to calm down. He let out a sigh, scooting you up on the bed so his feet weren’t hanging off the edge.
There were so many emotions flowing through you right now, you were confused and curious. An hour ago you were arguing with man, now he’s inside you and laying on top of you. “We’ve gotta get you home,” he groaned, propping himself up.
“Home?” You shot up, smacking your head on his chest. He chuckled, leaning down to peck your forehead.
“Yea, Milly’s gonna be at your place as soon as the sun comes up.” He yawned, stretching his arms. “At least that’s what I expected from her.”
“Oh, yea you’re right.” You nodded, pushing your hair out of your face.
“Aw did you wanna stay the night?” He teased, raising an eyebrow and giving you a cocky smile. “Had that much fun, huh?”
You nodded, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Do I have to?” You stuck your lip out in a pout, despite all of your past arguments, you wanted him to want you just as much as you wanted him.
“Tell you what, I’ll help you get cleaned up, give you some comfy clothes, then I’ll come back to your place with you. How does that sound?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, giving you a soft smile.
“Good, let’s do that.” You agreed, he nodded, standing up. He gently pulled out of you, watching as both of your releases flooded out of you.
“That’s hot,” he raised an eyebrow and bit his lip. He slid his hands under you, lifting you into his strong arms.
He brought you into the bathroom, setting you down and turning on the water. Once it was warm enough, he opened the curtain and let you in, stepping in behind you.
He was gentle, shampooing both of your hair and helping you rinse it off. His hands were gentle along your body, carefully washing the slick off of your body. He admired the bruises he left on your neck, both from his hands and his mouth. “Might have to leave more,” he mumbled.
He rinsed off your bodies and shut off the water, he quickly dried himself and handed you a clean towel, leaving the room while you dried off. He came back in boxers and holding a pile of clothes, “Here.” He handed you a pair of sweats and a large t shirt.
“Thanks,” you bowed your head slightly, he bowed right back. He threw on a pair of shorts and a hoodie, the fabric going over his head and slicking his hair down.
You looked in the mirror, wiping the makeup off of your face with a Kleenex, or what could come off without makeup remover anyway. “Is your phone in my car?” Taehyung asked, picking up your clothes off the floor and handing them to you.
“No, I dropped it in my shoes at the front door.” You stretched, your joints were stiff and your legs were sore because of him. You bent down to touch your toes, letting out a groan. “Tae!” You squealed, jumping when he layed a smack on your ass.
“Your fault for bending over,” he smirked. You slid your feet into your wedges, they didn’t work with the outfit but no one would see you at this time of night.
He followed you back to your apartment, hand steady around your waist. You made your way up the stairs, being as quiet at you could while you unlocked the door.
“Nice place,” Taehyung looked around, letting out a small hum in recognition.
“It’s small, but it works,” you shrugged. You both kicked off your shoes and he followed you to your bedroom. “You’re really gonna stay, all night?” You asked, closing your door.
Taehyung moved closer to you, pressing his body against your until you were sandwiched between him and the door. “As long as you want,” he promised. His hand came up and rubbed the side of your neck, you let yourself lean into his touch.
He bent down and let your lips meet, his lips moved passionately against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck, you were sure you’d remember this.
His hand toyed with the hem of the shirt he lent you, his fingers slipping into the band of his sweatpants. “You should take these off.” He pulled away for a second, quickly coming back to your lips.
“You want them back?” You asked, letting him pull them off of your hips.
“No,” he pulled back, tugging his sweater over his head. His toned, bare chest on display once more, you didn’t hesitate to reach out and touch him, feeling your way along his carved chest. “I just think sleeping would be more comfortable without all this in the way.”
He gestured to the small bits of fabric that were left on the two of you, “Nude?” You asked, already knowing the answer.
“Nude,” he agreed. You stripped out of his clothes, leading him over to your bed. You were tangled in the sheets, both of you trying to find a comfortable position.
You found yourself facing his chest, arms wrapped around him. His arms were wrapped all the way around your waist, holding you tightly so both of your bodies were pressed together. You sighed into his chest, breathing in his scent and basking in the warmth he provided.
“Just so you know,” he whispered, combing his fingers through your damp hair. “Mornings with me can be, pretty hard.”
“I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it,” you gave his chest a gentle peck, wrapping your legs around his.
“Good girl.”
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well we know how Alessia is clumsy right? Imagine if the reader is just as bad if not worse, the two of them are a right mess when near one another. And her and Alessia are both so oblivious to their feelings for each other that the team just have to deal with these two lovestruck clumsy idiots who tip toe around their feelings until eventually something pushes them to realise and confess
bambi II a.russo
"oh less is finally here." niamh nodded over your shoulder as you choked on your mouthful of cereal, maya smacking you on the back with a concerned look as you gasped to catch your breath.
"oh god not this again." your best friend groaned knowingly as you spat out the soggy mouthful of weetbix and downed your glass of juice. "and what's that supposed to mean?" you looked at her with a frown as niamh sighed dramatically.
"you become a walking hazard around that girl. you're clumsy enough on a regular day i don't need to be worrying about you falling down a flight of stairs and breaking your arm when she sends you a smile!" niamh rolled her eyes as you flipped her off.
"you've had a crush on her for years now, why don't you just ask her out bambi?" maya asked as she took a bite of toast and you shushed her, smacking at her shoulder for the nickname you had always detested.
"i do not! you're both deluded and i wish you'd drop this. you bring it up every camp, we've been friends for years. just friends!" you huffed in annoyance, grabbing your empty plate and standing to your feet.
however what you'd failed to notice was alessia and ella making their way over toward the table, and as you turned with the intention of a dramatic storm off you felt your body collide suddenly with someone else's.
with a grunt you fell on top of them, face flushing red with embarrassment as your eyes met those oh so familiar blue ones, alessia's own cheeks tinted pink. "hi less! i'm so sorry." you squeaked out and apologized, hastily rolling off of her and getting to your feet, helping the taller girl up.
"you know if i knew that you missed me so much i'd have come said hi sooner." alessia sent you a smile which you reciprocated, the blonde wrapping you in a tight hug hello before sitting down and greeting the rest of your friends.
ignoring niamh and maya's smirks you hurried off to get ready for training, the two girls covering up their laughs with their hands as you tripped over a chair leg and almost hit the deck again before mary hastily grabbed the back of your jumper, saving you from further embarrassment.
"let me guess, just saw alessia?" "oh shut up mary."
~
"i saw you went to italy over the break, how was it?" you asked with a soft smile as you walked back to the change rooms beside alessia, the two of you having been paired up for the last drill of the day.
"it was lovely thank you, and so sunny! i miss it already i can feel my tan slipping away with every second." the blonde groaned pulling back the sleeve of her jumper with a pout, poking at her still very tanned skin.
"yeah clearly you're looking like a vampire!" you rolled your eyes playfully, knocking your shoulder into hers gently. alessia attempted to bump you back but being just as clumsy as you of course she miscalculated.
alessia missed you entirely, suddenly falling sideways and onto the pitch with a grunt, grabbing out at you to steady herself but accidentally just taking you down with her.
"and there she goes! the bigger they are the harder they fall." ella clapped sarcastically as niamh hurried over to help you up and millie hoisted alessia to her feet, the blonde striker apologizing profusely before speed walking away with a shake of her head, ella racing off after her.
"do you think they'll ever realise they're in love with one another?" millie slung an arm over niamhs shoulder as the two watched you head off toward the change room, both girls playing with you at chelsea knew you better than you knew yourself it would seem.
"god i hope so. we need them both unbroken for the qualifiers next week and if they keep up this way they'll be getting together in an ambulance!"
~
"y/l/n you're up!" the training staff called for your turn for testing, one of the last of the day as the rest of the girls sat on the sidelines chugging their waters.
with a determined nod you zoned in, acing the first few activities without any issues. only when you glanced over to the side and noticed alessia watching you intently you panicked, miss stepping and slipping on the ball at your feet you fell to the floor mid run, taking down several mannequins with you as you squealed and landed on your back with a thud.
your cheeks burnt scarlet as you heard the laughter from the sidelines instantly at your blunder, burying your face in your hands with a sigh. "come on, up you get now." you peeked out from your fingers seeing your captains grinning face staring down at you as she extended her hand.
"now mate i've seen you do some impressive falls over the years but that one, that one took the cake." leah hauled you up to your feet and patted you on the back with a laugh as you groaned in embarrassment.
"don't remind me i'm never gonna live this down."
~
"less just tell her you like her man! i don't get it." ella whispered to alessia as the two stood in line awaiting their turn to grab lunch. "shut up tooney! i do not." alessia hissed, shoving the shorter girl as she glanced around frantically, sighing in relief not seeing you anywhere within earshot.
"whatever you sayyy." ella sung out with a tut, holding her plate out eagerly as the two of them chatted with the chefs. "god that smells good!" alessia dropped her plate with a loud smash as you appeared beside her, stumbling backwards into ella and knocking her own plate down to the ground as well with her elbow.
"aw less come on!" ella groaned loudly in annoyance dragging her hands down her face, the tips of the italians ears flushing bright red as she apologised over and over to the staff who hurried to clean everything up.
"good thing you're not a goalkeeper with those hands." you joked, nudging her lightly with a soft smile trying to ease her obvious embarassment, alessia mumbling something inaudible before running off to change out of her now food stained training kit.
~
entering the change room you swore as you slipped on someones stray boot, not paying attention to where you were going, only just catching yourself from falling as the teasings exploded around you.
"i think we need to wrap you in bubble wrap bambi." millie chuckled as you sat down beside her at your locker, ignoring the comment with a roll of your eyes as you started to change into your own boots.
taking your time most of the team had filtered out for training, and you were so zoned out of it you didn't even hear alessia sit down by you at her own locker focused on plaiting her hair.
you jumped a little as she dropped her brush and it cluttered to the floor beside you, knocking you out of your trance as you tied up your laces and reached out to grab her brush.
"here less-" you straightened as the blonde bent down to grab the brush herself, causing her forehead to smash into your nose quite suddenly.
you let out a groan of pain and clutched at your face, dropping alessia's brush to the ground again as the strikers features paled in concern, her hands settling themselves gently either side of your face.
"oh my god i am so so sorry! are you okay?" "yeah...but i think you broke my nose."
~
"i seem to see the two of you so often i'm considering naming one of the benches in your honour." richard the head doctor chuckled as he opened the door, your stomach fluttering as alessia guided you inside with her hand on the small of your back, not having left your side since everything happened.
"whats happened here then?" the man sighed, gesturing you take a seat up on the table as he grabbed out some wipes, starting to clean the dried blood from around your nose as you grimaced in pain, alessia's stomach lurching with guilt as you recounted what had happened.
her cheeks flushed red as you hastily reached out to grab her hand, squeezing tightly as richard gently poked and prodded at your tender nose.
the blonde shook her head trying to ignore the tingling sensation at your fingers being interlocked with yours.
"well the good news is it isn't broken! just a little swollen." richard explained with a smile as alessia let out a sigh of relief where she was stood beside you. "certainly feels like its broken." you pouted as you poked gingerly at your face.
"but it means no playing for two weeks, minimum. one bad knock and you'll break it properly, which would mean a minimum six weeks out." he announced and your body instantly deflated, knowing that meant you'd not be fit for squad selection for the upcoming national games.
"god i'm so sorry." alessia winced and you felt her gaze pierce into the side of your head but you couldn't bring yourself to meet it, nodding at richards words and sliding off the table, dropping the strikers hand.
"thanks rich, i'll go speak with sarina." you shot him a small smile and shuffled toward the door once he'd given you an icepack and some further instructions of aftercare, alessia following after you. she stayed by your side, head racing with thoughts but remaining silent, too overwhelmed to even voice what she was thinking.
"hey, you know i'm not mad at you right?" you paused, turning to look at her with a small but reassuring smile. "no you have every right to be, i'm so so sorry." the blonde stammered out, breath hitching as you grabbed her hands in yours and squeezed softly.
"but i'm not, it was an accident. they don't call me bambi for nothing, niamh's not wrong when she says im like a walking wet floor sign; always warning everyone of the hazard thats yet to come." you joked lightly, causing the taller girl to crack a small smile.
"don't blame yourself, please. just score a few goals and help us win to make it up to me!" you smiled before dropping her hands and veering right, intending to go and find your manager.
"what about i take you to dinner instead?"
your body froze at her words, alessia nervously fiddling with her hands, almost in shock at the words that had left her mouth.
"let me take you to dinner. please, to make up for it." the blonde steadied herself and spoke with much more confidence than she was really feeling.
"like a....date?" you asked cautiously, aware that these three words could make or break everything.
"yeah, exactly like a date."
#woso blurbs#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo#woso#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#engwnt
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Live Reaction: Ghostfuckers
Spoilers of course. I still hate the title of this episode. 0/10 for that alone. This post is just my unfiltered thoughts.
Look the other WLW couple in the Hellaverse! Forgot their names though.
Me thinking about how this show is slowly going downhill. /lhj Why is Blitz 'sulking' over Stolass?? Out of all the characters, he is sulking over the classist asshole who fetishize him for his species.
Man, I wish we saw more of that hard work. Not "yaoi." that overstayed its welcome. There is that Helluva cringe I love so much. /s
Ew. Blitz is fucking nasty. Ugh. More unfunny sexual jokes.
The American™️ experience.
Good!! Stolas is again, a classist species fetishizer. I do not Blitz that much, but he deserved someone better than the owl fucker. He needs to go to therapy first though.
Loona's attitude is fucking weird. She is 22 years old, why she calling Millie who is around 25-30 years old "grandma"??? If she was a teenager that would make sense, but she is an adult. Her insults suck pure ass. Like her calling Mooxie 'fat'. Send her ass back to that pound. /lhj
The word of the day is: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Viv and the other writers need to learn new swear words.
The sex jokes are so bad. They are not even at high school level, more like middle schooler who laughs when seeing Bitch in the dictionary level.
This show overuses bitch too. There is no PUNCH to it anymore. It is like a sound bit at this point. I love this old man. Why does Blitz tell Mille to "Look out, he's a patriot!" like it is bad thing? He is a true definition of one unlike a certain party.
The song sucks. They truly peaked in Ozzie's and never returned to that level. YES MILLIE! Tell Blitz how you truly feel. That piece of shit has not paid you in weeks and was too busy buying cheap trash.
Remind of me of that faceless Squall moment in Final Fantasy VIII. I Never played the games though. I just know about it thanks to horror youtubers. I love me some good body horror. They finally took Blitz's mom out of the fridge. I am sorry but this scene is making me laugh. Her eye popping out is looks goofy. It like a zany cartoon from the 90s.
Backstory time? The dialogue is not natural in this scene. Blitz is saying some self-hating stuff and Millie is going "Do you remember" like she is Earth, Wind, and Fire. Imagine venting to someone about hating yourself and that you destroy everything you touch, and they say, "Remember how we met?" Blitz's response would be mines. "What?"
"Imps don't work for themselves, asshole."
I wish that show was still about this. A person from a lower class trying to work his way to the top. If that show would be more impactful and would be remember as the edgy demon show with an inspiring message that everyone would relate to or inspire to be. Not the sex joke obsessed demon show with awful writing and the main "appeal" is rotten yaoi. Anyway, the fight scene was fine. Loona looks off model when she has an happy expression. I am used to that aloof and pissed off expression she always have.
"He's my best friend."
Blitz is your best friend?? This is the most time y'all interacted with each other on scene. This is the first conversation Mille and Blitz has ever had. We are almost done with Season two by the way.
This show just loves to traumatize Blitz. I wish he relived his traumatizing experiences in a more natural way. Like seeing certain objects or hearing certain sounds makes him hyperventilate or sends him into the beginning of a panic attack. I have no issues with characters having trauma or PTSD, but it seems like Blitz's trauma is a part of his character to make him seem more interesting as the protag instead of telling how trauma can truly change and mold a person into something different. There are just sprinkles of this. Blitz puts a facade of being an foul mouthed asshole because he does not want to get attached to people, from the trauma of killing his own mother, and etc. I wish it was not this Clockwork Orange type shit. This is 100% a post for another day.
"Your level of insecurity is intoxicating." Rolando should visit the Hazbin hotel. The insecurity levels are off the charts in that place. /lhj "Tonight I'm Blitz Demon-Dicker!" That is pure cringe right there.
Blitz trying to have sex with the M&Ms was always creepy to me because the idea of a boss trying to sleep with his employees is gross. Stick to signing their paychecks, not being in-between their sheets. Blitz being jealousy of their relationship is fine; it should never have crossed into sexual territory.
Episode rating: 7.5/10
None of the jokes made me laugh which is the usual for me. That Blitz's mom scene is unintentional comedy though. Rewatching, it made me laugh again and of course there is a pin design of that scene too. This is Tilla's first real merch. Good for her. Of course they made merch for the one off. Someone is out there emptying their bank account to have a "complete collection" because they just love dropping merch back-to-back.
Lazy ass shit right here. Who in their damn mind would buy this? Better than that slurs shirt though. I have to talk about the Helluva merch, but they are doing recolors now. What is this a fighting game?
Back on topic, this episode actually kept my attention unlike Full Moon and Apology Tour. Watching those episodes made me want to start drinking. Just alright episode, one of the better ones for a season that was about to rot. I am starting to like Millie more; it is nice to see her talk to a character that is not Mooxie.
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So, I've been thinking about the stuff that ghostfuckers told us about Millie, and I got curious and wondered if what we learned about her there could be used to put things shown in the first short and unhappy campers into perspective a bit more.
Hell's Belles:
Some comments from Sallie May interested me, mainly the lines "for your fancy job." and "shiny new life", and there's a line in ghostfuckers I think I can tie into Sallie May generally describing Millie's job and life positively.
That being, "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon.", and I suspect that Sallie May is still affected by this stereotype, that she feels like she's also a part of that stereotype, considering that we know that she helps out at her parent's ranch.
Which would explain part of the reason why Sallie May calls it 'fancy' and 'shiny', because she may feel like Millie is a notable exception to the stereotype, which would obviously be something that she would describe positively, especially considering that job and life now also consists of killing humans, something that is very much a one of a kind thing. Considering that Millie bought into the stereotype before joining Blitz, it's very probable that Sally May also bought into the same/similar stereotype.
Obviously this is only part of the reason why she describes Millie's job and life like she does, but I still feel like ghostfuckers adds more depth to that statement.
Another thing that I want to mention is the fact that they did some playfighting at the end of the episode, which I think ties into this line in ghostfuckers: "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for."
Another stereotype, that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, and fighting is a good way of building muscle, which would help to explain why they just naturally fell into playfighting at the end of the episode, because it's implied that they had playfights like this a lot with each other, and considering the stereotype of that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, it makes sense why they have such a history of playfighting with each other, because again, if Millie believed that stereotype before meeting Blitz, it's very likely that Sallie May also believed the same/similar stereotype as well.
Unhappy Campers:
Let's just skip to the boiling point of their argument in this episode, we know that Millie felt undermined during this episode, which we can see with the line "And for once, I feel like... like I'm important. Like I'm someone to be proud of...", which quite heavily plays into the line "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for.", which probably helps to explain part of the reason why Millie felt so strongly about this, just because you know that the stereotype is false doesn't mean it doesn't effect you anymore, it's clearly something that still resides in the back of Millie's head somewhere.
I use that line in particular, because there's two times in the episode before this where we can see Millie be visibly annoyed at Moxxie, and I believe that part of the reason is because she feels like her other qualities are being undermined, with the main one here being her smarts, which kind of plays into the line in ghostfuckers, that stereotype, because considering how prominent that stereotype was for her until meeting Blitz, it's not unreasonable to assume that this specific stereotype was playing in the back of her mind again, which would help to explain part of the reason why she felt so strongly about it when the argument reaches it's boiling point.
Plus, one of the first things Blitz told Millie right after he moved his business to IMP was 'You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring.', showing even further why Millie feels so strongly about this, she probably feels like what Moxxie is doing is a slap in the face to what Blitz told her when they first moved to IMP for their business.
Plus, there's also other relevant lines like "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon." and "Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath. Reputation is everything."
"And what's your reputation, hmm?"
Although these are less directly relevant to this scene, I still think it's worth considering into the big picture of why Millie felt so strongly here.
tbh, this is another reason while I'll defend the unhappy campers Moxxie and Millie conflict, it has quite a bit of depth to it if you consider everything, and I've just shown you all that ghostfuckers has given that conflict a bit more depth.
#helluva boss#helluva boss millie#moxxie helluva boss#sallie may#an in depth post from me where the focus isn't on Blitz or Stolas?#color me shocked
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a kiss that I kept II Jamie Tartt
Plot: Jamie Tartt was 9 years old when he met the love of his life. He considers himself lucky to have met her at such a young age. He considers himself a damn fool for fucking it up later on though. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of Jamie's dad. Notes: Friends to idiots to lovers. Inspired by "Simple Song" by the Shins Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please
When I was just nine years old I swear that I dreamed Your face on a football field And a kiss that I kept Under my vest Apart from everything But the heart in my chest
There’s something cathartic about being back home in Manchester. Not as a footballer, just as Jamie. When he doesn’t have to be phenomenal, when he doesn’t have to perform and win. When he doesn’t have to try so damn hard to give his dad a reason to be proud of him.
Without those expectations and without the pressure, it feels good to be home. It’s a part of his childhood that is untouched by his father’s malice. It’s pure and joyful and precious.
He’s not Jamie Tartt, golden child and footballer extraordinaire. He’s cousin Jamie. He’s Jamie from down the road. He’s Georgie’s boy.
It’s been a while since he’s been back, been even longer since he’s seen any of his extended family but being back now, it feels like hardly any time has passed. Millie has always been his favorite cousin so when the envelope showed up in his mailbox, all fancy paper and swirly font, there was no hesitation in him. Nothing could keep him from attending her wedding.
She’s a beautiful bride, all flowy dress and flowers in her hair. It’s almost hard to believe she’s the same kid that used to run around the neighborhood with Jamie, getting into trouble wherever they could find it. But somewhere between chiffon and carnations that little girl still exists. He wonders if the little boy he used to be is still alive somewhere inside of him. He hopes he’s proud of who he grew up to be. Sometimes he doubts it.
His eyes wander across the room, the reception is in full swing, people are talking, laughing, celebrating. Love is radiating from every smile. Though Jamie doesn’t really care all too much about that if he’s being completely honest, he only cares about one particular smile.
And when he catches sight of her, leaning against the bar with a glass of champagne in hand, wearing a gorgeous powder pink dress and daisies in her hair, he’s certain his heart misses a beat.
It would be an understatement to call (Y/N) his best childhood friend. Friend was never a big enough word to describe what she meant to Jamie — what she still means to him.
Jamie Tartt was 9 years old when he met the love of his life. He considers himself lucky to have met her at such a young age. He considers himself a damn fool for fucking it up later on though.
“Are you planning on talking to me anytime soon or do you just want to stare at me all day, Tartt?”
She says it with the same sense of mischief she’s always held. Like a silent promise of adventure perpetually hidden in her words.
“I was going to — eventually.”
“Well, eventually is not good enough for me. I missed you, Jamie.”
It’s only when she pulls him into a hug that he realizes just how much that sentiment is reciprocated. The familiar scent of lavender and the feel of her body against his, it all brings up so many memories of times long gone. This, Jamie thinks, is as close to time travel as humans will ever get.
He is suddenly 9 years old, playing soccer on the field just down the road from his house. His football is old and slightly inflated and some of the hexagons are flaking off, just holding on by a single tread. His goal is no real goal and all but two plastic bottles functioning as make-believe goalposts.
The air smells like sunscreen and summer and dust and life is easy for a moment. He gets to do what he loves without having to prove anything to anyone. Football is just a game here, something to pass the time. It’s fun.
He does kicks and jumps and trick shots and it doesn’t matter if he messes up. He can fail without having to fear any repercussions. There is no one there to judge him for it. Failure is a byproduct of trying not a sign of weakness.
Just as he is about to line up another shot at the makeshift goal, he sees her across the football field. At 9 years old, Jamie doesn’t know a lot of things but he’s quite certain she’s the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. For a moment he wonders if she’s a dream, an illusion. Then she steps closer, comes walking towards him with that bright smile of hers and the glimmer of excitement shining in her eyes.
“You’re really good,” she says. He’s heard that a few times before, it never mattered then because he wasn’t good enough, not to his father at least. It matters when this stranger says it though, because she’s pretty and because she has no reason to lie to him.
“Thanks. I’m Jamie.”
“You’re bleeding.”
His eyes follow to where she points at his right knee and sure enough, it’s scraped up, a drop of blood running down his leg.
“Does it hurt?”
Jamie shrugs as if to let her know that it’s not a big deal. It does sting quite a bit now that she pointed it out to him. He’s not gonna let her know that though, girls don’t like soft boys who whine about scraped knees.
“I have a plaster if you want one. So you don’t get any dirt in the wound.”
She doesn’t even wait for an answer, just rummages through her purse that’s shaped like a little poodle, and pulls out a plaster. Jamie holds out his hand though she doesn’t pay it any attention, just kneels down and softly, so fucking softly, put the plaster over his wound. It’s the first time he smells her lavender shampoo, the first time she smiles at him, and the first time she sends his heart racing.
“I’m (Y/N), by the way.”
And his life has not been the same since.
“ I missed you too.”
It’s the truth. He missed her terribly. But sometimes it’s hard to reconcile who he is with who he used to be. Who he is now with the person she used to love.
“Could’ve fooled me, you don’t even answer my insta DMs, you ass.”
Even when she curses him out, she regards him with infinite affection.
The girl that put a plaster on his bleeding knee is now a whole woman, but the kindness is still the exact same. The softness she holds for him is still there.
“To be fair I hardly check those. They scare me, honestly.”
“At least your mum updates me on your life. She was always my favorite Tartt anyway.”
He loves how much she loves his mum and how much mum loves her. There is something so inexplicably comforting in knowing the people you love most share a bond.
“Think you’re her favorite too.”
“Oh yeah, I know I am.”
Her laughter rings through the air like the sweetest song he’s ever heard. It’s so awfully cheesy, his own thoughts almost make him barf. But she just has that effect on him.
“You look beautiful today, (Y/N).”
“Today?” she asks in mock offense and though he knows it’s really just a joke, he feels the need to explain himself.
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re always proper fit but that dress? You look like a fucking angel.”
The way she bites her lip slightly and bashfully averts her eyes for a second, is a success in his book.
She really does look gorgeous, a whole vision of perfection. The pink dress, the flowers — the necklace.
A shiny rose gold charm sparkles in the light, resting gently against her skin. Heart-shaped like his feelings for her. He knows the pendant opens up and he knows exactly what he’ll find if he were to open it.
His lips lift in an involuntary smirk.
“What’s that look for, Jam?”
“You still got the necklace.”
She places a gentle hand against her chest, against the heart-shaped charm.
“Obviously. I will never ever ever get rid of it. I love it. You stole this for me!”
He was 14 and stupid and head-over-heels in love. He still remembers the sticky heat of the summer clinging to his skin, the taste of watermelon on his tongue, and the thought of her on his mind.
They spent all day riding their bikes around town with nowhere to be and everywhere to go. It was a good day, a phenomenal day. She shared her ice cream cup with him and held his hand on the way back to their bikes. It was a phenomenal day and Jamie was not ready to let it end just yet. Not when he couldn’t stop thinking about the way her eyes lit up as she looked at that necklace in the shop window.
In retrospect, it was an extraordinarily dumb idea, one of his worst to date, but it made her smile. The way she smiled at him when he gave her the necklace that he stole for her, that made it all worth it. The yelling from mum and the being grounded and the having to pay back the money by working at the store for 3 whole months that summer.
Her smile made it all worth it.
“Mum was so mad at me that day.”
“Well, you did commit theft, so —”
“Worth it though. Made you smile.”
“Oh, Jam you— “
The nickname gives him shaky knees, the interruption by the DJ gives him a fucking headache.
“May all the unmarried ladies please report to the dance floor, it’s time for the bouquet toss.”
“That’s my queue, I guess. Save me a dance, Jamie Tartt.”
He will save her every damn dance in his life. They are all hers if she wants them.
She stands in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by a bunch of other women, a flicker of friendly competitiveness shining in her eyes. If she’s joining in on the bouquet toss, that means she’s not married, does that mean she’s single?
Of course, he could’ve asked mum, she knows for sure, but that would just open a whole different can of worms. You don’t ask your own mum if the girl you’ve been in love with since you were 9 years old, is single. You just don’t, no matter how badly you want to know.
The DJ starts playing Girls just wanna have fun, (Y/N) hated that song. “It’s awfully overplayed”, she said one time they were driving in his car, before changing the station.
She must still hate it judging by the grimace that falls over her face for a mere second before she catches herself and puts another polite smile back on her lips.
Millie stands before the group of women, back towards her friends, and bouquet raised in the air before counting down.
One
Two
Three
The flowers fly through the air and land in the hands of a girl whose name Jamie can’t recall but she’s definitely one of the bridesmaids. Chelsea? Cristy? Something like that. She looks elated, a guy leaning against the bar looks mortified.
(Y/N) seems thoroughly unbothered by it all as she strolls back across the dance floor toward Jamie.
“Do you want me to congratulate you or give you my condolences?”
She just laughs and shakes her head “It’s not like I have any suitors waiting for me to offer them my hand in marriage anyway.”
So she is single. Not that it matters or anything. It’s good to know though.
His eyes sweep across her face, then her hair, where one of the daisies is barely holding on and just about to fall off. Without giving it another thought, as if moving on autopilot, Jamie gingerly plucks the flower from her hair and places it behind her ear. There’s something about her that makes him want to be soft, that allows him to be soft.
“Almost lost one.”
“Thank you, Jamie.”
The tenderness in her words almost sends him to his knees. When you’re used to words being sharp and bitter it’s hard to accept when they are silky and delicate.
“You have the saddest eyes, Jam. What’s bothering you?”
There is a big long metaphorical list of all the things that rest so heavy on his heart. The pressure of having to be the best version of himself at all times. The feeling of failure always creeping up on him. The fear of messing up. The idea of not being good enough.
The reminder of what could’ve been and of all that isn’t.
He has a whole big list of things that make him sad — he doesn’t say any of that though. Just shrugs his shoulders in nonchalance.
“Don’t know what you mean, I’m chuffed. Doing fan-fucking-tastic.”
She can read him like a book, always could. Jamie doesn’t know why he even tries to fool her, it’s not going to work either way.
“I know that’s a lie,” (Y/N) scoffs then regards him with a look he can’t place. It’s a mix between pity and something else, something warm and comforting. “I’m not going to force you to talk to me about it. I’m aware we aren’t as close as we used to be but I just want you to know that I am always in your corner, Jamie. Always.”
He has no doubt she means what she says but Jamie isn’t sure she really knows what she’s talking about. She knew him as a little kid, an awkward teenager, a misguided 20-year-old. She doesn’t know this new version of him. Bitter and a little lost — or maybe a lot.
Jamie isn’t sure this new him deserves her loyalty.
"There's something that does make me sad, actually."
"What's that?"
"The fact that I’ve not had a single slice of cake yet. That’s why I’m here, innit?”
“And I thought you were here to celebrate your cousin getting married.”
“Common misconception, really. I mean I am — but mostly it’s about the cake. Technically I’m on a diet but it's a wedding, that doesn’t count. We all know that.”
They both know he’s just talking out of his ass. Of course, he’s here for Millie. For the wedding and the family get together and all of it. And even a little for (Y/N). Because he really did miss her … so fucking badly.
“Oh well, let’s go get us some cake then. Can’t have you starving, not Jamie Tartt — the island’s top scorer.”
Jamie has done a lot of things in his life that he isn’t particularly proud of. He tries to see them all as learning opportunities, cautionary tales for a future him. Doesn’t mean he likes to think about them. Especially not his short but quite memorable stint on the dating show Lust conquers all. All the worst parts of him put on display for everyone to see and discuss and judge, every night at 8pm.
“You watched that then?”
“Uh, obviously?! What’s a best friend’s job if not to laugh about you while you make a fool of yourself on a dating reality tv show?”
It warms him from the inside out, to hear that she still considers him her best friend. He’s not sure he’s been very good at it in the last few years. Has barely talked to her. But then again, who makes the rules? Maybe some people are bound together so tightly from the very beginning that neither time nor distance can break them apart.
“I’ll have you know that I was number one on famous birthdays the day after I got eliminated from the show. So, who’s laughing now?”
“Were you? How long did that last?”
“Like a day, maybe 2. Then it went back to John Krasinsky, fucking wanker.”
“Aw babe, well you’ll always be my favorite person born on October 20th. “ she says as they both come to stand by the table decked out in cakes and other desserts. “ I do like the office though, hmm…”
"Oh, sod off. You’re breaking my fucking heart.”
He likes the way she hugs his arm in mock apology. She’s not sorry, in fact, she’s still laughing. It doesn’t matter if she’s laughing with or about him though. As long as there is a smile on her face, that’s good enough for him.
“Sorry. Can I make it up to you?”
Jamie nudges her shoulder with his, the way they always did when they were kids. That little boy that was so in love with her, he’s slowly but surely clawing his way to the surface again. Breaking free from Jamie’s ribcage where he has been kept hidden for such a long time now.
“Well, what about that cake then?”
The neon lights dip her in shades of blues and pinks and purples as she twirls on the dancefloor, weaving in and out of the crowd. Jamie is sure he’s seen this very moment in a dream of his before.
“Oh, you look so handsome, my baby. Are you having a good time?”
His mother’s voice cuts through his hazy daydreams as she plops down on the chair next to him. No matter how old he gets, Jamie doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of his mother’s affection. Her unshaken faith in him and her unwavering belief that he is a good man, after all.
“You’re my mum, you have to say that.”
“Absolutely not! Remember when you had that dangly earring? I told you right out you looked like a muppet.”
“Yeah you did,” he nods and takes a sip of his beer “Crushed me, honestly. Loved that earring. Thought I looked well cool.”
“Well, you know who didn’t hate it? (Y/N).”
That gets his attention. Eyebrows raised he takes his eyes off of the girl in question and turns fully towards his mother.
“How would she know? She didn’t see it.”
“Yes, she did. I showed her a picture when we had girls night.”
It's a nice image, his mum and (Y/N) having girls night. Sure, having them team up on him is terrifying, but he can't help but relish in the fact that his loves love each other so dearly.
"Girls night, huh? You ladies talk about me a lot then?"
"Are you joking?"
The way his mum raises her eyebrow is so familiar. It's the same damn expression he sees in himself all the time.
"That girl has been in love with you since you were kids. Of course, we talk about you a lot. You're all we talk about, Jamie. "
As a kid, Jamie always wondered what it felt like to put your finger straight into an electrical outlet. He never did it, obviously. But there was some strong curiosity there.
This is what it must feel like. Hearing his mother say that (Y/N) is in love with him, that's what it must feel like
Electric shocks straight to the heart.
“What?”
His mum just shakes her head, there’s that smile pulling at her lips. That typical mother's smile that tells you that they know you so much better than you know yourself.
“Come on now, Jamie. You know this is how she feels, everyone does. She adores you. Same way you adore her. That is how you feel, isn’t it?”
Of course, it is. She’s everything. She feels like an ocean being warmed by the sun. Warm and inviting and comforting. Beautiful. Tender. Soft.
“Don’t matter really, does it? We haven’t talked in so long. Doubt she even knows me well enough anymore.”
“She watches every match, goes to most of them if she can. She even bought that video game you’re on. Girl is almost as proud of you as I am. Look love, “ Mum rests a gentle hand on his arm. “I don’t know half the things that are bothering you right now but I do know that you’re struggling. I just want you to know that you are not a bad person, Jamie. The little boy you used to be deserved to be loved and so does the man you are now. You made bad choices but you still deserve love. We all make bad decisions sometimes. I know I made a lot of them when I was younger.”
“Hah, like having me.”
He passes it off as a joke but there’s a hint of truth swinging along. She was really young when she had him and while he knows she doesn’t resent him for it, he wonders if maybe her life would’ve turned out better had he not come along. Mum loves him unconditionally and she always makes sure he knows it so it’s a silly thing to think about really. It’s a fleeting thought and it really only shows itself when he’s already deep in his thoughts but when it does, it sends him spiraling.
The slap to the arm is not friendly or in good humor, that one is meant to sting.
“Don’t you ever say that again. You are my life, Jamie. I love you. Having you was the best decision I’ve ever made. You hear me?”
It’s dumb really, he knows Mum loves him. It’s always been them against the world (or well, them against dad, really). But sometimes his head gets so loud and fills itself with stupid thoughts.
“Yeah, of course. Sorry. I love you, mama.”
“Love you too, my baby boy. And I am so proud of everything you ever did, okay? Except maybe the earring.”
A chuckle falls from Jamie’s lips. “The earring was a bad idea, I got it.”
“Good. Now go dance with your girl, yeah? You two are driving me crazy.”
His girl. His girl wraps her arms around his neck when he walks up to her on the dancefloor. His girl looks up at him with the most radiant smile. His girl who feels like the sun and smells like lavender and wraps his heart in silk and sweet memories.
“Finally, thought I was going to have to drag you onto the dancefloor. You still owe me a dance.”
“Sorry. Not much of a slow dancer, yeah? I do know some great boy band choreographies though, and the cha-cha slide.”
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. Coach made us learn a full N'sync routine for Doctor Sharon's going away party. She didn't show up but I was fucking ace. I’m sure Keeley has a video of it somewhere.”
She grants him a smile though it doesn't reach her eyes.
"How is Keeley? How are you guys?"
There's an edge to her words and if he didn't know better he'd call it jealousy. But that doesn't make sense … right?
There's no him and Keeley, at least not in the way she's asking about. There never will be. Keeley is one of his favorite people but her friendship means so much more than any fickle try on upholding a relationship doomed to fail. Jamie thinks there's something brave and mature about that realization.
"She's good. We're good. Friends I mean. Good friends."
"No more dating?"
"Nah she's dating one of my best friends. Hated it at first but they're kinda perfect for each other. It's a bit disgusting, really."
Those words manage to pull the smile all the way up to reach her eyes. It's magnificent. Spectacular. A laugh tumbles from her lips, a sound so sweet if he were to taste it, he's sure it would put the most delicious honey to shame.
"You know," Jamie speaks and pulls her closer as they absentmindedly sway along to the music " I never thanked you."
"For what?"
"For the phone call that one night."
It was just after Manchester had kicked him out. No one wanted to sign him. He had burned bridges with everyone who ever stood by him and gave him a chance and Jamie had never felt more lost and more alone.
He just needed someone. A piece of home. A reminder of the 9-year-old boy who loved football for the fun of it all. He needed her.
He hadn't expected her to pick up that night, he really didn’t deserve it. But she did. Of course, she did. She always did.
"You don't have to thank me for that, Jamie. You are you and I am me and I will always pick up the phone for you."
It's such a simple thought. The most basic of all concepts. You are you and I am me and there will always be a space for us in my life and yours.
"I just - I felt very alone and lost and I hated the person I was then. It was like I was some boat or something, stuck on a cliff. And then when I talked to you and you had my back anyway it was like all my fears that I told you about suddenly disappeared, you know? Like you sent me a wave, a flood and gave my boat a lift over the rocks. I know it sounds fucking silly but Ted has me reading all these books with the big words. Making me feel all smart and philosophical."
She's so gentle when she combs her fingers through his hair, tugging some strands back behind his ear. He will never grow tired of soft touches and even softer looks.
"Jamie, even if I didn't like the person you were then, I loved you anyway. I don't have to like you to love you. Loving someone means accepting that they make mistakes but giving them room to become the person you know they can be. You wanted to change for the better and honestly, I think you turned out pretty spectacular."
Jamie isn’t quite sure if he will ever grow used to receiving love in the form of comforting words and soft touches but he truly relishes in it, always.
"Do you wanna get out of here? Party is about to wind down anyway. Don't think anyone's gonna miss us."
The night feels heavy with possibility.
"Sure, Jam. Where do you wanna go?"
"Doesn't matter. Nowhere. Anywhere. As long as I'm with you."
The glimmer in her eyes tells him she has an idea.
The bench by the side of the field looks the exact same it did when he was a kid. Chipping red paint and rotting wood. Initials in permanent marker forever immortalizing past versions of whoever wrote them down. Time forever frozen.
Jamie is 9 years old again and he is also 11 and 13 and 16 and 25. It’s all the same. It’s all so different.
The field is no field anymore, it’s now a proper little football pitch with a goal on each side.
“What happened here then? That wasn’t there when we were little.”
(Y/N) strolls across the field, twirling in her dress illuminated by the moon and the streetlamps. She looks like something out of a movie. He’s sure if he was a smarter man, more poetic, he’d be writing songs about her, poems, books.
In that book Ted made him read, there’s this one line that Jamie suddenly remembers.
“She was dazzling-- alight; it was agony to comprehend her beauty in a glance”
He thought those were just big words for saying some girl was well fit. He thinks he might get it now.
“Yeah well, some of us put together some money and convinced the neighborhood council to finally turn it into a proper pitch.”
“Some of you?"
“Mostly your mum, Simon, and I”
She meets his eyes across the field and his heart still does the same silly shimmy it did when he first saw her face.
“Why?”
“So another little 9-year-old kid gets to play with actual goals and doesn’t have to use plastic bottles.”
They did it for the kids, the community. But they mostly did it for him, for the child in his heart that never grew up. That is clinging to his insides and that only gets to live in his memories and in the hearts of the people he loves. The people that love him.
(Y/N) leans against one of the goalposts, a smile playing on her lips as Jamie strolls up to stand in front of her, hands buried in the pockets of his pants. His jacket is long forgotten on some chair back at the wedding venue.
“You know”, she says and lets her gaze drift upwards towards the sky. There is too much light to see the stars but Jamie thinks there’s still some kind of comfort knowing they are up there even when you can’t see them. The authors of the books Ted gives him, they’d have some flowery pretentious allegory to tell about all of this. He is no author, he's just a fool in love.
“This is where I had my very first kiss. Right here.”
Jamie wonders if she knows of the little electric shocks she sends straight to his heart when she lowers her head and looks straight at him while speaking those words.
It’s not news to him. Of course, it’s not.
He was there.
“Oh, was it?”
“Yup.”
“Hope the lad was alright.”
“He was perfect — for a twelve-year-old. I was also 12 though so I had nothing to compare, really.”
“What was he like? Lucky kid.”
“He had this really badly bleached blond hair. Tried to do it at home with a cheap box dye. Didn’t listen when I told him it was a bad idea.”
“I bet he looked fucking cool.”
“Had a bit of an ego, that one. Still does. Bit misplaced for someone who looked like Draco Malfoy.”
“You had a big fat crush on Draco Malfoy.”
“Yeah,” he doesn’t know when it happens. One moment they’re joking around, strolling down memory lane and the next her hand is in his hair, his hand on her waist, noses almost touching. “I did.”
“Do you wanna know a secret?”
“Uh-huh.”
“That was my first kiss too.”
There’s a flicker of surprise shining in her eyes.
“Huh? You said your first kiss was with Emma behind the playground.”
“Well I was lying, wasn’t I? Wanted you to think I’m cool and experienced.”
“We were 12 you dum dum. And I always thought you were cool.”
He was not cool at 12. No one is cool at 12. It still makes him weirdly proud to hear her say it. 12-year-old Jamie would be positively buzzing at that revelation.
“I um — Jamie, why did we never talk about it again? I know we were 12 and whatever but it meant something to me. Did it mean anything to you?”
Some memories, Jamie thinks, are meant to be shared. You want to tell everyone about them over and over again and it feels like you might burst if you don’t share them with others.
And then there are memories that are meant just for you. Beautiful places to escape to. So you keep them hidden in your chest, apart from everything else but your heart when they beat in sync. And they become part of you. And they keep you alive. That’s where he keeps this kiss. The first one. The only one that ever mattered.
“It means everything to me. But I — I wanted to keep that kiss to myself. That was mine and yours and I didn’t want anyone or anything to ruin that or turn it into something bitter and sad. “
“If I were to kiss you again, would you also want to keep that a secret?”
He shakes his head, his nose gently nudging her’s with the movement.
“Nah, I’d wanna scream it from the fucking rooftops.”
When she kisses him he is 9 years old again, seeing his future staring right back at him through the face of a little girl. He is 12 years old kissing her in the field, a kiss he’d kept with his heart ever since. He is 14 crying on the floor of her room the night he got back from the Amsterdam trip with his dad. He is 16 and a prick to everyone but her.
He is 25 and more in love than he’s ever been.
“50 fucking pence? Are you joking?”
“Nope. Dead serious.”
“That’s fucking mental.”
Her laughter echoes through the night as they walk down the familiar streets paved with countless memories. He#s holding her hand and he’s never felt more delighted about anything so simple.
“They still taste fucking great though.”
“They do, don’t they?”
Leave it to (Y/N) to continuously surprise him. As they started their walk back towards her house, she pulled two Cadbury Freddos from her sparkly purse. Jamie can almost feel the sun on his skin from all the walks they did to the corner shop during summer holidays to get some Freddos and a smarties pop-up ice.
“Don’t tell Roy I ate chocolate though, he’s gonna kick me ass.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
Her childhood home is coming into view just down the road and with it the end of this night. The door is a deep red color, he remembers (Y/N) helping her dad paint it when she was maybe 10 or 11 and her parents never seemed to have changed it since.
“Soooo what’s happening now?”
It feels a little silly to ask but Jamie has spent so much time keeping his questions inside of his head and not voicing them to her and he wonders just how much time he wasted because of that. Time he could’ve spent with (Y/N).
“I — I don’t know, Jamie. I want this to be. I want us to be, always did. Probably always will. But I don’t want you to choose me because being home pushed you into some kind of nostalgia-induced stupor or something. I want you to be sure about us. So, how about you sleep on it and tomorrow morning you pick me up for breakfast and we’ll talk? “
If he’s being entirely honest, he doesn’t want to talk. All he wants is to kiss her and then kiss her some more. To make up for every second that he wasted not telling her how he felt. But she is being rational and sensible as always and he has to respect that. Out of the two of them, she was always the reasonable one while Jamie did first and then thought about it later.
“Okay yeah. I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“Goodnight, Jam.”
“Night, (Y/N). You look beautiful by the way, not sure I said it.”
“Thanks, you look very handsome too.”
There’s an I love you on the tip of his tongue and he so desperately wants to say it but when she places a kiss on his cheek and opens the red door, all his thoughts just slip from his mind.
“Bye, Jamie.”
“Bye.”
He stays stuck for a moment or two before his legs slowly carry him down the road. The night is inky black and the street lamps' horrid orange-hued light reflects against the asphalt.
So many times he’s walked down this exact road wondering what could be. Wondering how to show her how much he loved her. Wondering if someday, somehow they would end up together.
9-year-old Jamie knew she was his destiny from the moment their eyes met across the football field. What would he think seeing him now, walking away from all he ever wanted?
What’s that quote from that romcom the team watched together the other day?
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
The shiny black shoes he’s wearing are not meant for running. He figures that out as he turns on the spot and rushes back down the street toward the red door. There is no need for him to sleep on anything. He has never been more sure about anything in his life. Ever.
His heart is racing as he reaches the house, as he knocks on the door, and as he rings the doorbell — for good measure.
His heart stops when she opens the door, her dress gone and exchanged for a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt.
“Jamie? You forgot something?”
“I don’t need to sleep.”
“What?”
“I don’t need to sleep on it. I know what I want. I want us, I want you. Always did. Always will. You’re the only person I want to talk to when I feel shit and you’re the first person I want to tell when something good’s happened. I want to ride my bike with you the way we did when we were kids and eat freddos with you even if they’re 50 fucking pence now, which is insane. I want to go to weddings with you and dress up fancy and I want to sit on the couch and watch movies with you we’ve both seen a million times. I want you to make fun of my stupid earring and have you help me dye my hair and I want to kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are every single fucking day. I want everything and anything as long as it involves you. And I don’t need to sleep on it. I am sure.”
“Jamie?”
“Yeah?!”
“Kiss me!”
He doesn’t need to be told twice.
It feels right, to hold her and to kiss her. Like all his life has been leading up to this moment. To her soft lips on his and her hands in his hair and his hands on her waist.
And he thinks she might just feel the same. She doesn’t need to say it to let him know. She tells him with his tongue, with the gentle touch of her fingers against his skin, with her breath in his lungs.
He is 9 years old and also 12 and also 14 and 16 and 20 and 25. He is all those versions of himself and each of them was and is in love with (Y/N).
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