#My helluva meta

[tealvenetianmask]

Blitz is going to be the death of me.

Right before the crystal, when he thinks that Stolas is really breaking up with him, he straight up begs.

"Stolas, please, I need this book. Please."

Uh huh the book . . .

"I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.

Looking down (maybe telling himself, "I knew this was coming eventually") and then looking up, trying not to cry.

Despite . . . his everything here, I'm pretty scared that half the audience will think this is really about the book, and I'm not ready for the bad takes yet.

[tealvenetianmask]

So I might be delusional, but here’s what I think:

This will be at the beginning (or close to the beginning) of Apology Tour, like people have been theorizing.

Blitz is going to start by doing everything he can to get Stolas to accept him back into his life (not as just friends, but not defined) short of talking about his feelings, because feelings are still scary. He’s going to be very flirty (smiling, putting his feet up) and refuse to leave. His plan will be to charm his way out of this, and it won’t work. So yes, we’ll get sassy Stolas, and Blitz will probably get thrown out again.

I think the emotional arc of the episode on Blitz’s side will be him starting to open up in a way that’s genuine and doesn’t default to anger (I don’t want to be this way, not forever). I think that the arc for Stolas will be about starting to see Blitz as he is, not as a romance fantasy and not as the piece of shit Verosika sees him as either.

I think that the episode will show us progress toward them understanding each other and getting closer to a place where they can have a real relationship.

same place, still bowing to him

If Blitz is asking to start over as friends I might end up a mess

[zarnzarn]

i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

[demon-country]

"Stolas fetishizes imps. "

HOW? We see him call exactly two imps sexy (Blitz and Striker), and he only ever shows actual interest in one of them. He doesn't even sexualize anything unique to imps which is what an imp fetish would entail, just Blitz's dick, which like, yeah. Finding the dude he routinely has sex with and wants to be in a committed relationship with unbearably sexy isn't fetishizing imps as a whole, it's not even fetishizing Blitz.

In public his flirting is incredibly lame and practically chaste, and in private (+ the one time he thinks is private but isn't because he forgets Octavia can still hear him from that distance) he goes so over-the-top it's clear he's either making shit up on the spot or copying something he found in poorly written erotica. And you know what he does the second Blitz shows he's genuinely upset over Stolas "making it really clear all the time" that he wants nothing from Blitz but sex? He stops completely. The only time he even vaguely flirts with Blitz after that is to snap him out of a panic spiral and hype him up. That shows it wasn't anything but Stolas thinking Blitz was into that kind of dirty talk, and Stolas trying (and failing) to be cute and flirty in public.

Just because Blitz says Stolas has an imp fetish doesn't make it true. He's the world's most unreliable narrator, with insecurities that run deeper than the Mariana Trench and a complete inability to believe anyone could actually love him, platonicly or otherwise. Y'all are just so ready to make bad faith takes against Stolas, it's wild.

[rainingfishandfrogs]

something i find very interesting about blitz is that it doesn't seem like he's afraid of fire:

S1E1 moxxie sets the office on fire and then later he and millie are not-burnt at the stake and the entire time he's just unimpressed

like he sets loo loo land on fire

in S1E5 he's enamored with a fire-horse

S1E6 he sets off a bazooka that explodes on the humans creating like a gust of fire

after everything we learn about the circus fire in S2 i just find this so fascinating; like fizz developed ptsd over fire itself which is beyond understandable and believable

but it doesn't seem like blitz did and we could think "well maybe it's just green hell fire he's afraid of" but i don't think so

even in S2 he starts that fire on purpose and is more scared about fizz than the fire

i think fire itself just doesn't scare him and idk i just find that really fascinating given what happened

as a fun bonus tho! check out this neat bit of foreshadowing i figured out today when i was looking for screenshots :D (from S1E2)

[warblogs17282]

Stolas within parties, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. (Featuring Blitz)

Let's start with a bit of concerning behavior in regards to the happy pills.

We see Stolas take two pills at the start of the day, the day where he's about to meet Blitz again for the first time in years.

But when we see Stolas again after the events of s1 e7? He takes three pills, so at some point between these two moments in time, Stolas upped his dosage, and honestly, my guess is that the of events of s1 e7 is the start of Stolas upping his dosage, although I don't have any evidence to support this. While this doesn't point to anything in specific, it's still behavior to be a bit concerned about.

The Parties and Problem Drinking.

One of the things that interested me the most was Stolas being able to call Verosika's party as being about 'mutual pettiness' so quickly, and that got me thinking about the similarities between the parties that Stella hosted, and the parties that Verosika hosted.

In this part, Stolas feels rather isolated in contrast to the rest of the party talking to each other and having fun, and it's also clear to see that Stolas feels uncomfortable as well. Both of these are obviously because of the fact he still has feelings for Blitz and has just generally been isolated his whole life, but it also shows us a noticeable parallel between this party and the ones that Stella would throw.

Stolas is isolated and uncomfortable yet again. Sure Stolas is uncomfortable at Stella's parties for different reasons, but there's still two links between them I can notice.

The first being the reasons why both parties have been thrown in the first place, and the second being Stolas' relationship with alcohol in regards to parties.

"Stolas, you know I like throwing parties!" This implies that Stella throws parties quite often, and considering how these parties are really just thinly veiled excuses to allow Stella to gossip and chat shit about Stolas to her friends while being right next to Stolas, it gives us another reason as to why Stolas is uncomfortable being at Verosika's party besides his feelings for Blitz and being isolated his whole life.

It's because one of the main reasons Verosika's parties were thrown was to shit talk and to antagonize Blitz, or 'celebrating mutual pettiness' as Stolas rightfully calls it. There's various other reasons why I don't exactly believe that the primary reason why Verosika threw the parties was to 'help others cope', that I've covered before. It's clear in her behavior both inside the party and outside the party (for example, s1 e3), that Verosika hated Blitz for what he did to her before. (I'm not claiming that Verosika isn't allowed to be angry at Blitz for that, but her behavior up to this point is 100% going overboard.)

Alongside the violence against the Blitz shaped merch and cakes (which I will cover in this post), we see Verosika openly insulting Blitz to the entire crowd, and we know that Stella would insult Stolas to her friends at her parties. So, it wouldn't surprise me if another part of the reason of why Stolas is so uncomfortable is because he's been in a similar situation before to what Verosika is doing with the parties in regards to Blitz.

So, another thing we know is that Stella uses physical violence against Stolas, as shown by the time she attempts to backhand him in s2 e1.

Guess what we see a whole bunch of during the party against the Blitz dolls? Sure it's a bit exaggerated with the knives and mallets etc, but it's still physical violence, so it's reasonable to assume another part of the reason why Stolas was uncomfortable at the party was because of his own experiences with physical violence.

"Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want." - Stella

"I felt it rude not to stop by." - Stolas

I believe that these two quotes point to a sense of obligation to show up and stay at the parties for at least a little bit regardless of if the party makes you feel uncomfortable. Like that Stolas felt like he had to at least make an appearance and stay for a little bit.

Which begs the question, why does Stolas stay so long at Verosika's party, despite saying "I really shouldn't stay long."?

Two interconnected reasons come to mind. The first being the fact that Stolas was already starting to get himself drunk at the start of the party, which just naturally leads to Stolas just drinking more.

The second reason is probably because of the song. Stolas was very much just thrown into the spotlight and told to sing about his relationship with Blitz, so I wouldn't be surprised if that indirectly pressured him into drinking more, something I cover in the next section.

I think something that we haven't really considered is the PROGRESSION of Stolas drinking in both parties.

Stella's Party: The party starts, Stolas naturally doesn't want to be there and feels uncomfortable, but most likely feels like he's obligated to stay and make an appearance, so he starts it off by drinking a little wine. Then the most difficult part of the day happens, Stella starts talking shit about Stolas to her friends, right in front of Stolas as well. So I assume in an attempt to make the party more bearable for him, he gets the strongest thing he can get his hands on and just starts chugging the bottle.

Verosika's Party: Stolas joins mid-way through, feels uncomfortable being at the party for a few reasons, but again, most likely feels obligated to stay for at least a little while to make an appearance, so he starts drinking from the cups a little. Then Stolas gets to a difficult and emotionally taxing part of the night, the part where he's basically thrown into the spotlight, and made to sing about his relationship with Blitz, around 23-24 hours after the full moon argument. So the emotions surrounding that are still very raw for Stolas.

After that point you see Stolas start drinking a lot more, starting to chug that cup. Plus, when Blitz starts talking to Stolas, he also starts chugging the bottle itself quite a lot, in what I guess was because he was already partly drunk by that point, and in what I think was an attempt to dull his emotions more to most likely make the night more bearable for him.

At least, I think that was the general thought process behind the progression of Stolas drinking in both parties. The scenarios between them both are quite different, but I still think that there's some similarities to be noted here.

So, in conclusion, I believe that part of the reason why Stolas has an issue with problem drinking is because of Stella's parties, and that there's quite a few similarities to be noted between Verosika's party and Stella's party.

Of course, I can't make a post on problem drinking without mentioning the time that Stolas most likely got blackout drunk after the events of s1 e7.

Blitz and Addiction.

Now, I wonder just how many of you thought the question of 'Why is Blitz so concerned about Stolas throwing it back like this?' and the answer lies in Blitz's history with drinking, and addiction.

Let's start with Blitz's father, Cash, it's implied that he's an alcoholic, both from the picture below and from the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?", which tells us that Cash kept himself stocked up on booze all the time. So it shows us that Cash's likely alcoholism was always a part of Blitz's life, all up until Blitz left the circus.

There's also Barbie Wire who got addicted, although on a substance named H-8, instead of booze. We don't know exactly when Barbie Wire got addicted to H-8, but because Blitz says "Oh. Thank, Satan.", and the fact that Barbie Wire means a lot to Blitz, it shows that her getting addicted to H-8 most likely effected Blitz in some negative way.

Finally, Blitz has seen it again with Verosika, who is also an alcoholic, who went to rehab for it but got out because of her celebrity status. When she exactly became an alcoholic and went to rehab we don't know.

Something to note here is that, according to a study, addiction tends to run in families, and dialogue in the Queen Bee episode suggests that Blitz attended those parties Beelzebub hosts a lot in the past, because of this line "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", implying that Blitz used to be a regular at her parties.

Plus, in truth seekers, Blitz admits to doing a lot of drugs in college.

The only times we see Blitz drink during this show has been in social settings, and sure while Blitz did invite Moxxie and Millie once on screen to a dive bar, that doesn't change the point I'm making at all.

So, what the show is trying to tell us is that Blitz did a lot of drugs and alcohol in the past, and nowadays he's not completely avoiding alcohol, but the only times he'll drink is in social settings.

Regardless of how bad things have gotten for him, such as Ozzie's for example, Blitz refuses to drink or do drugs at all, he just ended up having a cry session on the couch and just consumed ice cream. Compared to Stolas who dealt with everything by most likely getting blackout drunk.

I imagine that Blitz very intentionally limits himself on doing drugs and alcohol, because he knows so many people that have the issue of addiction.

[akirathedramaqueen]

There's one piece of concept art that made me see the entire Apology Tour disaster in a different light.

So, we've been talking with @warblogs17282 about Stolitz and how their break-up ended up playing out in the 'Apology Tour' episode.

Why ended up? Well, there's a collection of concept art which, to my limited understanding of this craft, is one of the first steps in the production process of animation. This post by @birdy-babe includes a great chunk of it, shared by artists after the episodes aired (like storyboards, but much more stylised, showing how different some original ideas were). Long story short, one of the concept arts from the 'Apology Tour' episode suggests their quarrel was originally meant to be much harsher.

A short summary of the concept art to see what we are dealing with

In the background, you see a lot of apology postcards and silly cutesy stationery, suggesting Blitzø is in the middle of his Apology Tour.

The contact name isn't 'Stols' but 'Bird Dick,' implying their relationship is at an earlier stage, with less respect—at least on Blitzø's part.

There's a photo partially cut by the edge of the messages screen. From the signature gloves and boots, cowboy hat covering Blitzø's private parts, and visible nipples, it appears to be a nude image—replaced in later stages of development with stupid gay affirmation memes (as hard as it is to believe, I couldn't imagine there could be anything worse than the Striker horse gay jokes... well, it could, my dudes, it fucking COULD).

There are three messages, one of which is unsent:

"Stolas, cum awwwwwwn, u no u want it :)"—likely attached to the nude;

"Dude just talk to me"—desperation crawls in; he finally realises the shit has hit the fan;

"Im sowwy :("—an apology, but the text remains unsent, perhaps because it seems pointless, given that the 'Not Delivered' notifications and warning signs indicate Stolas has blocked his number.

Why do I find this fascinating, and why does it fill me with immense hope?

Because they still fucking care so much, and neither has completely closed the door on the other. By comparing the concept art to the final product, you can see how many intentional choices were made in dialogue, visuals, and behaviour to make it clear that these two idiots still want things to continue. Stolitz is meant to fucking live.

Now, if you want to see some comparisons—evidence, really—let's dive into each other's changes, focusing on what we can gather from the concept art.

Blitzø's side

Change 1—thank gods, no nudes. The gay memes are sillier and a bit lighter. Of course, they still showcase utter disrespect, a horrible prejudice against sexuality, and a poor understanding of how deeply Stolas was hurt, but I find them... less bad.

Change 2—no more 'Bird Dick.' Blitzø has actually come up with a real nickname for Stolas! Feelings are boring for you, huh, Blitzø? I can almost hear the song’s lines: "O-oh, hooked, addicted you might say, conflicted in a way…"

Change 3—Blitzø's attempts to apologize now show much more contemplation. Since Stolas hasn’t blocked him, Blitzø knows his words aren’t just being thrown into the void. Although the 'unsent' detail remains, it now carries real weight and impact.

All three changes are seen in these two GIFs.

He knows he did wrong. He knows he wants to salvage it. He might not yet know how to do it healthily, but he tries—he tries so fucking hard!

Look at the range of raw, cutting emotions as he speaks to Stolas and finally delivers his apology—probably the only one he genuinely meant. Well, maybe except for Verosika, a bit later.

It's not that it's hard for Blitzø to say 'sorry'—we've seen him do it a lot lately. He's actually quick to apologise and take responsibility, so Stolas's remark about him not feeling any remorse couldn’t be further from the truth. But the fact that he isn't running away this time—chasing after Stolas and trying his best to mend things—is drastically different from how he treated Verosika back then.

Stolas's side

Here’s the moment that struck me deep. It’s the only change, since the concept art shows Blitzø’s POV, but it’s such a significant one.

Do you think Stolas has moved on? Do you think he’s done with Blitzø? Not convinced, even when he’s literally singing about still wanting Blitzø?

Well, here’s your proof—he didn’t block Blitzø. They scrapped that.

More than that, the entire interaction emphasizes that Stolas isn’t pushing Blitzø away for good.

How do I know this? Stolas is very insistent on using phrases like 'for now,' 'right now,' and 'now' throughout his attempts to tell Blitzø off.

Here are some citations:

"I was hoping my lack of 'ha-ha's' in response to the photos you sent me would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

"I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me now!"

Why is this so important? Because he isn’t asking Blitzø to leave him forever. All he’s asking for is time.

Even while hurt, Stolas gives Blitzø plenty of chances to explain himself civilly. Look at the hopeful glances each time Blitzø shows any glimpse of genuineness.

Stolas fucking hopes Blitzø will take back all the cruel things said and brash actions done.

You know, Stolas... I've spent the entirety of this morning listening to love ballads, and that was...

For what?! You want me to be like, "Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self-hatred stop me from apologising to anyone I could ever care about!"

You see the furrowed brows and the sad look? Stolas hopes for the best... but gets the worst because Blitzø isn’t there yet.

I’d even go so far as to say Stolas is acutely aware that Blitzø uses his brashness as a shield to protect himself. He literally sang about it in 'Just Look My Way.'

Unless it's me? And no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through these walls you've conjured up to live.

So, what gives?

Is this the behaviour of people who want to give up on a relationship they still clearly hold dear?

No. Even when they’re angry, aggressive, hurt, or drunk, they still seek understanding and forgiveness. They continue to listen and try.

They might lack the skills and may choose the wrong time, place, or words to express what truly matters...

One person, scared of being rejected so much that he unconsciously conveys this message by saying, "You don’t have to stay here with me," and carrying it throughout the whole conversation...

The other, coming to terms with his feelings, admits them, and his fears, a bit too late—when his romantic interest is too drunk to comprehend anything…

And in both cases—self-loathing, self-hatred, doubts, scars, trauma… and a lack of hope.

But there is hope. No, this is reassurance, my folks.

You know when it's hardest to stay in a relationship? When it’s hardest to come and say, "I am sorry," when it’s hardest to still love the person?

When you’re hurt. When they’ve hurt you.

And, despite that, you still come to them and still want to talk to them.

If this isn’t ironclad evidence that this is more than just a fling or a couple of fun sex dates, I don’t know what is.

And the 'Apology Tour' fucking proves it, rather than ruins it. It only strengthens the point. It’s easy to live in happiness, but it’s so hard to go through it while you’re in pain. When you see them doing that, you realise it means everything to them.

Stolitz is to live.

[justanotherhh]

smthin about blitzø's romantic relationships defined by him as bodyguard, with fizz, with verosika, and with stolas. something about that being a part of his core, either as a negative (it's all about putting his body in front of theirs because he's the "less important" factor and it's the only real thing he feels has to offer alongside sex) or as a positive (he likes protecting others, he likes being of use, it's a good way of communicating how much he cares and he's good at it)

but yeah, that forming part of the foundations of those relationships from his side

[roseyswords]

FULL MOON SPOILERS!!!!

So first of all..

I was not expecting to see the cherubs this episode. That... That was a big shock. Seeing them and their plotline was certainly interesting. It was funny seeing their reactions to just everything going on with Blitzø.

And speaking of Blitzø. Um fuck?! My heart that hurt!? "I think so highly of you. I didn't realize you think so little of me" like OUCH? I keep adding question marks to my sentences because my brain can't quite comprehend how it's feeling.

I find it really interesting that Blitzø brought up Stolas's imp butlers. This is a part that has stuck out with me really strongly. Cuz we've seen Stolas squeeze the shit outta one of them when angry on the phone with Stella. And it really makes me wonder just what kind of behavior has Blitzø exactly seen of Stolas interacting with his butlers. Because Stolas is a very rich man, who has only imps working for him and Blitzø noticed.

Which is funny because he notices literally nothing happening around him this whole episode. Which feels thematically relevant. He's always been oblivious to the more emotional side of Stolas's affection for him but that is also by design of how Stolas treats him. Remember Stolas is the same guy who used to get routinely bleeped due to his sheer level of hornyness. Blitzø has only ever seen their relationship through a sexual lens.

I also find it very interesting that he goes into that interaction already extremely worried and insecure and scared out of his mind that Stolas is tired of him. Which makes going in and being confronted with Stolas's emotions even more jarring and confusing for him. He's already coming in with an intense amount of anxiety with the singular goal of pleasing Stolas, which just highlights the unhealthyness of their dynamic that Stolas is trying to break away from.

Moving on to Stolas's mind for a bit. It has got to fucking hurt that when you finally put yourself out there emotionally and the other person immediately thinks you must be fucking with them. I think it really opened his eyes to how their relationship has truly been when Blitzø assumes that this serious conversation must just be some really weird roleplaying scenario.

And when Blitzø yells at him and reveals that he thinks of him as this rich pampered jerk, it is a startling difference of perception between the two of them that Stolas now has to contend with. It is so interesting to me how Stolas in this scenario is trying really hard to think about things from Blitzø's point of view in terms of how their deal must be affecting him, but he's also not prepared or emotionally equipped to think about how that must shape how Blitzø sees him as a person.

So overall that just leaves us with a lot of pain, and anguish, and a really beautiful episode.

And wow...that hurt.

[blitzwhore]

I think the thing that kills me the most is that I really do think Blitz was picking up what Stolas was putting down. He's smart, he's observant, and I'm pretty sure he was already processing things as Stolas was speaking. Putting all those things Stolas has done that back up what he's saying now together in this context. He's got those big, shiny eyes going from Stolas to the crystal to Stolas to the crystal, and by the end he looks like he's really starting to hope. And then his self-loathing comes in with the steel chair and goes, "too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us", and his eyes lose their shine and their hope. It's too good to be true, so it must not be.

I completely agree. Blitz really does seem like he's following what Stolas is saying and putting the pieces together before his instincts kick in. Not just that, but Blitz looks genuinely disappointed and bewildered when Stolas stops him in his tracks when he starts "role-playing". He genuinely thought Stolas had to be messing with him—so much so that when his role-play doesn't work, it confuses him even more, because that was the only other possible explanation to everything Stolas just said to him.

And when Stolas says his goodbye and dismisses him with strained formality, stepping away, realisation hits Blitz again and he immediately backtracks and reassesses the situation. His "You were serious? Hold on, Stolas, what the fuck?" isn't him judging Stolas or calling Stolas crazy. It's him trying to understand. Was his first read of this situation really the correct one? That can't possibly be. But Stolas actually looks like he was serious, so it must be. At this point, though he's still not letting himself feel that hope that almost took over him a moment ago, Blitz is trying to figure out if he can maybe, possibly, eventually get there.

But then Stolas says he already has his answer from Blitz. And here's the problem: by the time Blitz is beginning to actually comprehend exactly what Stolas is saying and the implications, as well as what feelings he's allowed to safely feel in that moment, Stolas has already put an end to the conversation.

And this same pattern is repeated from beginning to end of the scene. Throughout their entire meeting, the gates to both of their hearts keep opening—desperate to be seen, understood, and wanted—and then closing again—too terrified of being hurt, too ready for heartbreak and disappointment, to remain open for too long.

And, every single step of the way, they are desynchronised. Over and again, one's door opens just in time for the other's to close. And so neither of them is able to see the other's gates when they open. All they ever see is the other shutting them out.

Only at the very end does Blitz manage to finally look at Stolas and see. But by that point, it's too late. Stolas is already shutting him out, but this time for good.

(Or so it seems. For now. Rest of Season 2, save us!)

[aspoonofsugar]

Some Millie and IMP Thoughts

I love Helluva Boss's new episode for all the reasons everyone else does! In particular, my favorite part is Millie getting fleshed out more.

I have always liked Millie and I disagree with people saying she is badly written. That said, the focus she got this episode adds a ton of depth to both her, her role in the series and the dynamics within IMP.

BLITZ AND IMP

Blitz is the titular character and protagonist of the series. He is the boss in Helluva Boss. As a result, everyone else is in the story for his sake. In particular, IMP is Blitz's found family:

Blitzo: Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family. Moxxie: We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees!

Through them (and Stolas) Blitz gets to explore his ghosts and to heal. How is that so?

Loona and Moxxie seem to me two sides of the same coin:

-Loona is like Blitz, as she is told by the world she has no real value:

Adoption Center Lady: Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare. Serious attitude problems. She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out. Good riddance, if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much.

So, Blitz latches on her and adopts her. He showers her with the love he never got from his father.

-Moxxie is like Blitz, as he is abused by his father and loses his mother. As a result, he grows up unsure of himself and in need of love and approval:

Blitzo: Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we both have daddy issues, Mox.

However, Blitz often treats him poorly, downplays his abilities and mocks him.

So, Loona and Moxxie are Blitz's mirrors, as he projects on them in opposite ways. He treats Loona like he wishes his father treated him. He treats Moxxie similarly to how his father treated him. Obviously, Blitz isn't an abuser like Buckzo. He loves Moxxie and more importantly he is not his father. However, he and Moxxie do have a mentor-mentee dynamic and it is clear as day Moxxie wants Blitz's approval:

Blitzo: Gonna be honest, Moxxie- Not too bad for your first solo mission. Moxxie: Reeeeeally, siiiir? Blitzo: Nooo, no, not really. You're a fucking disgrace.

Still, Blitz is often unable to give it to him, despite the fact he clearly cares. This is also why Loona and Moxxie get often on each other's nerves:

Loona: How am I supposed to smell anything in this city? Moxxie: Can't you even do one thing right? Loona: Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?

Moxxie is the most critical of Blitz's favoritism towards Loona and is the one insisting Blitz calls her out on her poor attitude towards clients. This is not by chance. They are just like bickering siblings :''')

In a sense, this episode even subtly confirms this foiling:

Blitz: Loonie's perfect, and Moxxie's… probably got some good traits too and I'm sure we'll figure them out eventually.

Loona is perfect and Moxxie has no good traits. What about seeing the world in black and white?

So, where does Millie fit in all of this?

Blitzo: So I'm your best friend, huh? Millie: What do you think? Blitzo: I think…I- I've never had a real friend that I didn't wanna fuck.

She is the only one Blitz does not project over, so they grow into genuine friends. They are equals, value each other and love each other. So, Millie freely states what Loona and Moxxie also think, but can't properly convey:

Millie: He (Blitz) gave me so much…A career, a husband, a future. And now…He's my best friend. Blitzo: You… you don't hate me? Millie: Naw, never.

Blitz gave her, Moxxie and Loona a better future. He is their precious boss and a treasured family member.

MILLIE'S THEME

Helluva Boss has two main themes:

Relationships

Classism

Moxxie is linked to Blitz's unhealthy way to build relationships. Their bond is a complicated mix of friendship, family love, professional interest and a little bit of possessiveness on Blitz's part. That's why it is so complicated and contradictive. Millie ties into this as Moxxie's wife, since M&M's relationship is Blitz's ideal one.

Still, this episode makes clear Millie's true thematic relevance is for the topic of classism:

Millie: We… heh. We don't deserve this. We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for. It's why you hired me. Any demon good at making a buck is welcome in Lust or Greed, but here? Demons like us ain't cut out for this.

Classism permeates Hell, which is built on a strong hierarchy. All characters have suffered the consequences of this, while being influenced by it at the same time. For example:

Blitz is an imp, who has been looked down and victimized by society. However, he also embraces classist prejudices and uses them as an excuse to push Stolas away.

Stolas is a Goetia, who has been a prisoner of his family's expectations and of his role in society. However, he is also unconsciously discriminating towards imps. He has no ill will towards them, but he calls them silly names and belittles them

Millie is the same. She is a wrathian imp of humble origins. In a sense, she is a stereotypical imp. She is incredibly strong, was born and lived the majority of her life in Wrath, aka imps' original ring. She fits the expectations of both her family and society. However, she deep down wishes for more, which is why she leaves the family ranch to become an assassin. This choice is already seen as subversive by her family, who expected her to stay home, so she could help with the family business. However, Millie herself has no high expectations for her future:

Millie: Bullshit! Who sent you? Millie: Who are you working for?! Blitzo: What? You don't believe me? Millie: Imps don't work for themselves, asshole.

She still sees herself stuck in Wrath. She will be one of many underpaid goons, who work for higher ranking demons. A life a little bit more adventurous than the one at the farm. Still, nothing extraordinary. Then, she meets Blitz:

Millie: Who's that? Your boss? Hah! Blitzo: HA he fucking wishes. No, I work for myself, lady.

Blitz is the first one, who recognizes her potential and who believes she can become more than what she is. He gives her the chance to explore the world outside the Wrath Ring and brings her up to Pride. When Millie doubts herself and her role in society, he is the one to reassure her:

Blitzo: Millie, I have spent too much of my time, energy, and holes into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit. I brought you into this company for a reason, okay? You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring.

Blitz gives Millie a new life, where she is free to be herself and to choose a husband she would have never chosen, if she had stayed home with her family.

Thanks to Blitz and her work at IMP she is by this point a different person than the one she was. She does not completely fit in Wrath anymore:

Sallie May: Heh, yeah, I mean, with so many exciting things here, it's no wonder you never make your way back home. SHIT! That slipped out. Millie: ..What? Sallie May: You know… the Wrath Ring, all that dirt and rust and boring nothingness. Not much of a thriving club scene down there, why visit that, right?

Which is why she is now slowly overcoming her prejudices:

Millie: Oh yeah! Y'all haven't met my boss Blitzo! And his hellhound! Loona: I'm not just his hellhound.

It is not by chance Millie is the one calling Loona Blitz's Hellbound, as if she were a pet. Moreover, it is not by chance she does so, while talking with her family. It is probably normal for wrathian imps to see hellbounds as property. So, when she visits home, she goes back to a familiar language and mindset, without even realizing how offensive it is. That is why it is relevant this episode has Millie share a bonding moment with Loona, where she calls her by name:

Millie: Thanks. Loona.

She is not only overcoming her self-insecurities, but she is also starting to see other demons differently. She is growing not only more happy, but also more open minded. All thanks to Blitz's impact on her life:

Millie: Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon. Until I met some knucklehead who never gave a fuck about what anyone else said he could or couldn't be. He made me believe he could be anything. And that made me feel like I could be anything, too.

CHARLIE AND BLITZ

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are twin series. They are complementary stories, with different focuses and a shared heart. This is shown in Charlie and Blitz, their respective protagonists. They are opposites.

Charlie is a royal demon, a young rich girl, who is optimistic and idealistic. She is obsessed with seeing the good in others. Blitz is instead a humble imp, an adult man, who is cynical and genre-savy. He sees only the worst in people to protect himself. However, both disrupt the status quo:

Charlie decides to completely change the hierarchy between hell and heaven. She is breaking the system the world is built on and re-writing the laws of the universe.

Blitz changes things in little ways. He is not trying to reform society, but he still acts in ways society does not expect, so he subverts hierarchies and transforms people around him.

That's something that comes up several times:

Striker: Boss, huh…? Ohhh, so YOU'RE the bold imp to start his own killing biz? Blitzo: Yeah, well if you're good at somethin', you should probably capitalize. Striker: Not many Imps start businesses on their own. That's pretty impressive, sir.

Crimson: Oh, I'm sure. You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work. Blitzo: Really? What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me! Crimson: No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid.

Both Striker and Crimson comment on Blitz's business, in two moments that are to be seen as parallels:

-Striker says so, as the group visits Millie's family. Millie's family is a relatively happy one, as they all clearly love each other. However, it is an economically struggling one:

Joe: We lost our old farm hand to one of them terrors last week.

Millie's parents are loving, but traditionalists and stuck in the old ways.

-Crimson says so, as the group meets him and discovers he is Moxxie's father. Crimson is an imp, who built an empire. Moreover, he is not scared to go against the hierarchy and to challenge even the deadly sins:

Crimson: You probably just asked if I know who I'm dealing with. And, oh yes, I know. The weakest and most non-threatening of the Sins. The king who will do whatever it takes to save the worst-kept secret in all of Hell. We both know you won't risk anything happening to the clown. So be a good little bitch boy, and do the thing. My lawyers will be over shortly with the contract of demands. You have until the witching hour to sign it. Hueheheheheheheh!

Still, he sacrifices everything else to greed. In order to climb up, he destroys everyone around him. He killed his wife and abused Moxxie, so his son leaves him the first chance he gets.

In other words, Blitz offers Millie the opportunity to social climb and he offers Moxxie true friendship and comraderie. He gives them what they miss and want.

STRIKER

Finally, this episode indirectly adds a new layer to Striker's character and his role in the series. So, Striker is clearly everyone's dark foil.

Specifically, he is Blitz's jungian shadow aka what Blitz represses:

Striker: Blitzo, come on. You know, the two of us are superior than most of our kind. And you were so above suckin' on a disgusting, rich, pompous Goetia, only to sneak topside for scraps and work for bitter sinners, who could care less who you are, when you could be slaying Overlords.

He embodies Blitz's darkest side and tempts him to give in to it. For example, he backs Blitz up in his fight with Fizz over Royal Demons:

Striker: As far as I'm concerned, you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue-bloods to begin with. But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of bein' a little purse dog. Blitzo: Oh, great. The fuckin' supremacist is on my side, wonderful. Fizzarolli: Neither of you filth bags know what you're even talkin' about. If you think you're superior to ANYONE, then you're no better than any royal— Striker: DON'T. You. Dare… Finish that sentence, clown…

And let's say it is not by chance Striker is burnt and probably gets some scars the same episode it is revealed Blitz accidentally set his family circus on fire:

He is clearly meant to embody the anti-theme, both when it comes to relationships and classism. He is who Blitz might become, if he gave in to his worst instincts. That is why he is the character physically threatening Stolas's life and calling him out on his privilege at the same time:

Striker: YOU. Don't get to talk over me! I don't have to listen to your bullshit! All you royals ever do is try to talk over us!

He challenges Stolas to see the darkness in Blitz he keeps ignoring. Moreover, Striker's attempt on Stolas only works because Blitz himself does not warn Stolas, believing that with his powers the goetia can easily survive an imp's attack:

Blitzo: Stolas got what? How?… He can get hurt?

In short, Striker is a key character for both Blitz and Stolas. That said, he does foil also Moxxie and Millie. (Which is why they get to fight him twice, just like Blitz - they lose the first time and win the second).

In his debut episode, he is openly juxtaposed to Moxxie. He is the ideal imp, the one Millie's parents would have liked their daughter to marry. He is a great farmer and an even better fighter. He is strong and charming and easily defeats Moxxie at everything, even music. That said, it turns out Moxxie is a far better person and husband and gets to call out Millie's parents on it, gaining their respect in the process:

Moxxie: Y'know, she protected me. And maybe I'm not a strong beefy dickhead, but Millie has the strength enough for both of us! You two are getting on her case about being hurt by a psychopath you hired?! Shaaaaame on you!

Ghostf***ckers instead makes Striker and Millie's foiling obvious. Both are wrathian assassins, who work as goons for others:

Millie: Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath. Reputation is everything.

Here lies Striker's contradiction. He keeps saying he hates the hierarchy, but in the end he acts exactly as society expects him to:

Stolas: Well, you seem to be forgetting; you are working for a royal right now!

He hates royals, but takes orders from them. Even when he decides to leave Wrath, he goes to Greed, so exactly where "imps able to make a buck are welcome", according to Millie:

Crimson: HEY! Hick-for-hire! I said watch 'em, not fuck 'em. Keep ya hands off the merchandise!

See? Striker acts like some big shot, but in the end he operates within the system, rather than subverting it. Both Fizz and Blitz are far more successful at overcoming the hierarchy than he is. Fizz does not take orders from royals, but becomes a romantic and business partner to one. Blitz does not resort depending on royals or imps for his job. Rather, he takes orders only from himself and invents a new business.

Striker says not everyone gets the chance to live in Pride:

Striker: Look. Not every ring is some fancy-ass city, with some fancy-ass mansion, that only fancy-ass royals get to live in. Some of us have hard lives to live.

And yet, he is offered it by Blitz, just like Millie:

Blitzo: Isn't this guy great? It's gonna be nice workin' with him. Yeaaaah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P.

If he had joined IMP, he could have found a family, a strong business partner and could have embraced a new life. He did not and became IMP's enemy instead. On the contrary, Millie did and is now a happier and better person.

WHAT ABOUT LOONA?

Personally, I think Loona is gonna be key in Blitz's development, as both her past, arc and relationship with her dad are very well set up. If Moxxie focuses on relationships, whereas Millie on classism, Loona will probably offer a synthesis of both themes:

Loona is Blitz's adoptive daughter and the first member of his new found family.

Loona is a hellbound, so a demon even lower than imps.

I am very curious to see how her story develops and I am looking forward to discover more about her past and to see if her foiling with Bee gets explored more. After this episode I am more curious than ever!

[tealvenetianmask]

The "old movies" of Blitz's traumatic memories went by really fast, so I slowed it down to .25 and watched it frame by frame to see what I could find. Here are the frames I found interesting.

The necklace. It's confirmed that this is the same one that his mother wore, and he found it in the fire. Maybe it fell off while she tried to escape the flames? We also see how it haunts him when her eyeball turns into it in his hallucination.

Cash throwing a hard fucking smack. Maybe after the fire? It kind of follows narratively, but I couldn't get much from the background. Or maybe it's earlier? Either way, our theories that Cash was physically abusive are confirmed. Fuck him.

Two cute M&M moments. I've felt for a while that when they got together it really messed with Blitz's world. The second one looks familiar. Is it from Exes and Oh's right before he hugs them and acts invasive about Chaz? Either way, his hands are reached out. He feels like a third wheel since they became a couple. So it seems like a lot of his creepy behavior comes down to feeling abandoned by his friends and trying to SOMEHOW be close to them in the only way he knows how to do so safely (being sexual and joking).

This moment with Loona at the end of Seeing Stars. The rage in her face. This was played for laughs mostly (Loona refusing the hug and kicking him in the balls) but maybe it was actually hurtful? Seems like it stuck with him. Seems like he fears that Loona actually resents him (so these two need a talk too eeek).

Barbie. Yepppppp. I can't decide whether this is in Unhappy Campers or from an earlier time.

ALL the Stolas moments. Is it reading into it too much to notice that in all of the moments before Blitz raged in The Full Moon, Stolas is looking at him, and in all of the moments after, he's looking away? Regardless, these are all really upsetting moments for Blitz. And the sheer number of them says something about how fresh and painful the breakup still is for him. HOPING they reunite and make some progress on this next episode. :(

I love the role that Blitz's HANDS play in these glimpses into his traumatic moments. He's never touching anyone, and often reaching or pulling back, or touching an object instead. He has so much love in him, and he's so lonely.

Updates, for anyone who's seeing this from the original post. Thanks to those who pointed these out.

Blitz's hands are burned when Cash smacks him, so it's from after the fire.

The M&M moments are from Murder Family and Truth Seekers.

[lost-romantique]

The Stolitz plotline didn't just "happen"...

One thing I will never understand is people complaining that the Stolitz plotline taking center stage happened randomly...

It didn't.

The plotline has been building-up since the very first episode of Season 2.

The only difference is the change of perspective.

During the start of Season 2, the Stolitz plotline has been solely focusing on Stolas' POV, while Blitz, the protagonist, was dealing with seperate shit.

Because at the end of the day, Blitz has a life outside of Stolas, he has people to worry about, and his own personal shit to deal with.

They had one episode together in Seeing Stars, but that's it.

Afterwards, whenever anything Stolitz related was put into focus, it would switch to Stolas' POV, while Blitzø was preoccupied doing something else.

Western Energy is a good example of this, an extremely controversial episode that divided the Fandom at large... and still does.

Major things happen to Stolas this episode:

Stolas, who initially didn't see the threat of Striker till he actually got stabbed, is made hyper-aware of his overall wellbeing immediately afterwards

Stolas is told of the class disparities between imps and royalty, and how much Striker despises them. However, Stolas doesn't get what the fuck Striker is talking about, he's too busy being cunty towards him (what a bloody legend)

This is the first time the audience is made aware of Stolas' overall lack of awareness, and his inability to grasp the class divide.

Stolas spends majority of the time hoping and praying for Blitz to save him, to fulfill that 'knight in shining armor' fantasy he puts him in

He's shocked and maybe even a little disappointed to realize that help came, not in the form of his suave knight he's been crushing on, but his crew

Meanwhile Blitz, was busy helping his daughter get a Hellbies shot.

I really don't want to argue about Western Energy right now, all I will say is that I don't hate Blitz for wanting to put his daughter first. Blitz, at the end of the day, is trying his damndest to be a good father to Loona, who has her own myriad of issues she's dealing with and that Blitz is aware of. Blitz is aware of the issues that Loona faces and her fear of needles. Blitz was not aware of Stolas getting hurt.

"He can get hurt?"

Western Energy is the only episode of Season 2 where Blitzø’s perspective in regards to the Stolas situation is ignored.

And I am hoping and praying that they will bring up Western Energy again before the season ends. Please...

Oops...

Stolas attempts to get his hands on the Asmodean crystal, and he reveals, for the first time, his growing affection towards Blitz.

Stolas, sweetie, I love you, but I hate your stupid fucking hat. Maybe Blitz would notice you more if you took your fucking hat off, he loves your feathers.

Meanwhile Blitz and Fizzarolli took center stage as they mended a friendship that's been broken due to a certain P.O.S.

Cash Fuckzo, I hate you.

Just Look My Way is the final piece of the puzzle right before Full Moon...

We are made fully aware just how much Stolas cares for Blitz. How much he wants to be there for him, how much he cares for him, etc.

So yeah, the Stolitz plotline taking center stage didn't happen at random.

It has been built up slowly and steadily throughout the entire season before everything imploded spectacularly in a great ball of fire.

We are just now slowly peeling back the layers of the depth of Blitzø’s feelings for Stolas, as their NOT-breakup, consumes a huge part of his life.

This is why I stress so heavily how much the Stolitz relationship, prior to Full Moon, is told in Stolas’s POV.

Prior to Ghostfuckers, all we had were assumptions to go off of when it came to Blitz's opinion on Stolas.

However, through Ghostfuckers we start to learn just how much Blitz truly cared for Stolas. Just how much he really meant to him.

[pipsqueakparker]

i'm writing a fic (it was not supposed to be as long as it's becoming) with millie & blitz that takes place right after western energy

yknow for maximum angst

but anyway so i rewatched the episode for Research purposes and this was the first time i caught this

i mean, first of all, love all the foreshadowing hidden amongst these like 2 second frames. but does that say 3 days?

im assuming that's a reminder notif for the meeting with oz in 'oops' - are you telling me that happened 3 days after he was nearly killed?

so this man rolls up to ozzie's, still freshly full of ptsd from his own assassination attempt, i'm sure. and then is there for the moment ozzie finds out his boyf has been abducted (just like stolas had been) and that also, it was the same fucking man.

also okay now that i'm here, can we just talk about not only the like reliving of trauma that just seeing striker probably did to stolas but also.

but also.

ozzie's reaction to fizz being kidnapped & threatened is, like, probably the exact reaction he wishes blitz had had. that's the response he wishes he could garner out of someone, but instead. his wife put the hit on him, and... no one cared, at least in his experience of it, i'm SURE that's how it felt.

like, yes, moxxie & millie came and saved him, and yes, blitz had such a valid reason to not be there. but if we're looking at it through stolas's eyes - the only thing that kept him from being fucking murked right then and there was stella calling it off. millie & moxxie got there after that, but if stella hadn't called would they have gotten there in time??

and i mean, striker sure did make a point to rub in how no one was coming for him. (and like then he got left on read while he was in the hospital! ouch!)

if stolas felt a little bitter while he watched ozzie fight to do whatever the fuck crimson wanted just to keep fizz safe... yeah, i wouldn't blame him. that fucking sucks. that. fucking. SUCKS.

this poor goddamn owl.

(and i'm not disparaging blitz at all with this before anyone reads it that way. this all started bc i'm writing a whole ass fic now from blitz's pov after the 'git bevver swoon' text, bc as someone with a lot of useless guilt in my soul, i love digging into characters and their guilt complexes)

[demon-country]

I'm fully convinced that Blitz mentally refers to the color of Stolas' feathers as blue roan. I mean, face aside, his body is mostly blue-grey and his lower arms/legs are black, just like a blue roan horse. Even his head feathers are significantly darker than the rest. His white facial disc is the only exception, but some roan horses do have white stripes on their faces, so it still works.

The man is such a horse girl that there's no way he doesn't know and love earth horse breeds too, right?

(Also, I know he probably hates his burn scars, but they do make his own coloration a lovely chestnut pinto. Very striking, he'd love that on a horse.)

(Image descriptions in ALT text and under the Read More)

[ID: The first image is a screenshot from Apology Tour showing Stolas lounging outside on a lawn chair, wearing a pink robe and reading a book. He has a wine glass next to him on a small side table and in the background are a lot of plants.

The second image is of a blue roan horse with a white stripe going from its forehead to its nose standing in a field. It is a horse with a blue-grey torso and neck, and a black head, legs, mane, and tail. /end ID.]

[aarafox]

I've been playing the last 5 min of the ep on loop for more than an hour and holy shit. I have so much to talk about.

At first Blitz’s attitude towards Stolas reclaiming the book is understandable, from a business POV: he needs the book to perform his job! It makes sense he gets a little desperate, tries to keep up the bargain, begs for Stolas to rethink.

But then. Then Stolas gives him the crystal, in one of the sweetest ways possible.

Like a marriage proposal.

The crystal is supposed to be everything Blitz wants, because, supposedly, fucking Stolas is just part of the deal… in any other situation, with any other person, he would’ve been like sure! Cool, thanks :)

But not for a single second he looks happy with this. We all know it’s because deep down he feels the same way… But he gets upset, worried, afraid. From the get-go.

And Stolas is telling him the loveliest things. He’s pouring his absolute heart out. I don’t think I expected him to tell Blitz exactly how he feels but he does. Just like in his texts, he’s completely honest with him:

“Blitz, I’m giving you this because… I care... VERY deeply for you. And I have for some time.”

How he places the crystal on his wrist like a ring on a fiancée’s finger. This is Stolas’ absolute biggest gesture of love. He’s setting Blitz free! From this transactional thing… That’s what Blitz wants… right?

“I want you to continue to… be who you are. Your business!” This was such a kind thing to say. In his eyes, Blitz is perfect as he is and I wonder how often - perhaps if ever - Blitz has heard something like this. The music reflects Stolas’ honesty and affection, the soft and beautiful melody that we know so well… This is Stolas’ big moment, his declaration of love.

“You don’t have to stay here with me... But... I want you to. I want you to stay here with me. Because you want to. Only if you want to.”

And honestly… the shock on Blitz’ face when Stolas says that first line (the "you don't have to stay" one):

Like seriously?? Biggest shock so far? Blitz doesn’t want to separate from Stolas! He wants to stay with him! But when Stolas reveals his truth… that he wants Blitz to stay because Blitz himself wants to and not for any deal or arrangement…

And Blitz, who still can’t believe someone could genuinely love him, responds in the only way he thinks he should: in their “business language”, the language of sex. Because he cannot let the truth sink into his heart.

Of course this hurts Stolas, for whom this reaction is only proof that his feelings are unrequited. If Blitz can’t respond to him in any other way than this, there’s little chance he feels the same…

And still, he is so so kind:

“Thank you Blitz. For… awakening me. For making me… so happy… if only for a little while.”

He was trapped in an unhappy, abusive marriage for so long and Blitz saved him from that. Thanks to Blitz, Stolas had a chance to find out who he was, change his life for the better, and experience true happiness. But if Blitz can’t give Stolas what he needs emotionally, then this is where it has to end.

And Blitz retaliates in the only way he knows how: self-protection. He doesn’t want this to end, but he also never expected Stolas to feel genuine love for him. He HAS no time to think about this, in his eyes Stolas is ending this on his own terms. But he doesn’t have the full words; he hasn’t faced his own feelings and, if he can’t even be genuine with himself, how can he be genuine with Stolas?

But his words, that he’s saying partly because he truly believes them but likely also because he wants to protect himself from the pain, cut Stolas like knives. Stolas flinches when Blitz calls him "asshole" and "bitch":

Blitz's words... shatter his heart.

Stolas has been on the receiving end of hate for a long time. But to hear this from the one he loves so much... It's simply too much to handle. So he sends Blitz away.

As Blitz’s apology still echoes through the air.