#that was the only time i thought of smth other than pain. bc i was Afraid.

[orcelito]

I wonder how mentally tortured I have to look to be let off the hook lol

[astrxealis]

amongst all my interests the struggle of being under 18 but into ff(xiv) and wanting to make friends is an absolute pain

[vxsellie]

domestic gf! ellie

summary. random headcannons about living a small, domestic life with ellie as your girlfriend

notes. nothing makes me happier than domesticity so it was only a matter of time before i made smth like this ! also i haven't made any 'headcannon' posts yet so the setup might be ass bc i fr have no idea what im doing ,, to make up for it i made the post super aesthetic & i'm obsessed w it now xx

warnings. some mentions of sex, it's not necessarily smut it's just the act of loving someone intimately & sometimes being super horny !! overall, this is almost pure fluff though i swear ◡̈

𐙚 first and foremost, ellie def prefers a little life over anything huge or extravagant. she'd take a long morning in bed with u over the met gala any day.

𐙚 something about sun rays filing through dusty shudders makes her heart swell.

𐙚 dirty dishes in the sink, wrinkled bed sheets, cluttered countertops, half-finished home decor, crumples papers, miasma from the bathroom trashcan, that one light you both always forget to shut off. she loves it, all of it.

𐙚 but what she loves most about this life of yours is you.

𐙚 waking up in the morning to see your body sprawled across her chest, a stained band tee clinging to you'd body.

𐙚 hearing you hum songs in the shower while she brushes her teeth at the sink.

𐙚 coming up to wrap her arms around your waist while you cook dinner after a long day of irritable coworkers and snobby customers. then, following that, being able to look across the table at you as you complain about your own day, the taste of your burnt cooking on her tongue.

𐙚 going to the grocery store with you early in the morning after waking to find you're out of cereal for breakfast, both of you insisting you'd thought the other agreed to buy it.

𐙚 your lidded eyes squinting as you read the price tag, leaning heavily on the shopping cart. you're both hungry and tired and annoyed, but have no energy to argue, instead opting to ignore your shared frustration and find solace in the other rather than anger.

𐙚 ellie loading the new groceries onto the conveyor belt while you sleepily fumble with your wallet, still smiling and making conversation with the grocer despite everything.

𐙚 then, getting home and being able to eat your newly purchased cereal, your head leaning on her shoulder as you're both curled up on the couch in front of the tv.

𐙚 ellie oftentimes likes to sit at her desk, scribbling little drawings or entries into her journal while you fill your head with your own random hobbies.

𐙚 she drives you crazy when she taps her pencil against the surface of the desk.

𐙚 the two of you have argued over that a few times, actually. you shouting at her for how annoying the repetitive sound is while she tries to explain that she doesn't even realize she's doing it (though, you don't believe that for a second).

𐙚 over time, however, you've learned to just put on your headphones whenever she journals, the habit becoming as natural to you as drumming her pencil is to ellie.

𐙚 whenever either of you are on your period, the other is certain to be synced, both of you hurting and angry and craving random foods you can't remember the names of. that week is either the worst of your lives, spent arguing and fighting and sobbing; or it's the best, spent singing together in the shower and cooking new recipes and laughing together at ellie's unfunny dad jokes.

𐙚 then, following that week, ovulation hits and you're both completely different people.

𐙚 after you just spent days upon days of working through agonizing pain, you're now unable to think of anything aside from ripping the other's clothes off.

𐙚 dinners go uneaten as she eats you out atop the counter instead; rooms go unswept as you pin her against the nearest wall with an animalistic fervor; her drawings go unfinished as she gets distracted by the girl lying naked in your bed, fingers finding other ways to occupy themselves.

𐙚 ellie has seen you in every state.

𐙚 with greasy unkempt hair, unshaved (everywhere), stained clothing you deem to be 'clean enough', dirt under your nails, unbrushed teeth in the morning.

𐙚 but she doesn't care. she'll still run her fingers through your hair, still rub soothing circles into spiky skin, still strip stained clothes off of you just as desperately, still hold your dirtied hands, still kiss you on the mouth without a care in the world.

𐙚 sometimes, ellie will write songs & ask for your opinion on them.

𐙚 of course, you always tell her how good they are and how proud you are of her. but sometimes you mentally cringe at certain lines or wince at a off-key note.

𐙚 but you love her enough to lie to her face with a curt smile.

𐙚 and even more than that, you love seeing her happy and proud of herself. the sight of her toothy grin and twinkling eyes makes it all worth it.

𐙚 plus, eighty percent of the time, her songs are super fucking good and you're stuck by the passion and care she puts into writing them. the gentility in her intricate fabrication of certain notes and pitches makes your heart stutter. the way her entire body work alongside the guitar with such delicacy that you're sure the two have merged into one tangible being.

𐙚 see, ellie is enamored by the simple things you do ⎯ the way you rip a brush through your hair in the mornings, the gentle whistle you do while cooking or cleaning or doing chores, the fact that you seem to be incapable of making the bed in the morning, the way you always leave your shared shampoo uncapped, the pursing of your lips as you try a new recipe you wanted to try & aren't sure whether you like.

𐙚 these are the things she loves most about you. the things that make her excited to live the rest of her life with you, greasy hair and all.

⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 taglist : @luvsturniolo @zombieegirl

[lizzieisright]

hey hurt/comfort idea:

soo what about the reader and abby being best friends for years and reader always had a crush on abby. they go to a party and abby introduces her new gf to u. she always liked her but thought reader didn’t (always a bit horny around reader, but they know eachother since childhood so abby mistakes readers flirting as being flirty like friends) so reader gets absolutely hartbroken, drinks till she passes out but abby takes care of her ofc. abbys gf is always with her tho so it just hurts even more.

she avoids abby till the next frat prty or smth (maybe it’s college!au) and then they hook up, abby can’t remember cause she’s too drunk and is back w her gf

very messy but i hope u get the idea :P

(also to make it more hurtful make abby mean while she’s drunk bc she’s going through a rough time but isn’t telling anyone)

It took me so long, I'm so sorry

Palestine: what can you do

I've changed a few things (they don't hook up) because I can't deal with cheating, and I couldn't decide on what ending I wanted so there's a poll in the end.

Tags: Modern AU, childhood friends, Angst, pining and unrequited love, of course.

_______________

Abby is a fucking God, and you come to this conclusion when you're 11 and she helps you with your stupid assignment.

When you're both 14 you start to understand that what you feel for her is not, in fact, an admiration. 

You come to this conclusion when you sit in her bedroom and she jokes about teaching you how to kiss because you're a loser and you agree - and yeah, the kiss is a mess, but now you both know that you want to kiss girls. And you want to kiss one girl in particular, but Abby is your best friend and you won’t do anything that will lead to losing her.

Being a God means Abby is out of your reach and you have to live with your stupid feelings.

You're jealous of every boy who jokes around her to get her attention.

You're jealous of every girl who dares to look at her a little too long.

Abby is popular and she starts dating and it breaks your heart every time, and you can't look at other people because all your gods look like Abby.

"Why don't you go on a date?" Abby asks once when you're 16 and you're eating pizza in your bedroom, watching another marvel movie. "I think Jen likes you."

"I don't want to." What would be the point if the only person you want to date won't ever look at you this way?

"Why? Don't you get horny like the rest of us mortals?"

The worst part of being in love with your popular best friend is that she recently lost her virginity and she can't shut up about sex because she is excited about it.

"I have my hand, Abby." You roll your eyes at her.

"But it feels better when the other person does it." Abby winks and puts her hand on your thigh. "It's better, isn't it?" She rubs your thigh and your breath hitches. She looks at you, playful, and goes a little up on your thigh, and your face burns.

"You belong in horny jail, Anderson." You laugh, but don't move her hand: if you move it she'll call you a chicken, but she is a chicken enough herself to not move it further.

And she doesn't.

You live your life peacefully, dealing with your feelings as best as you can.

Then college starts and you're too busy to think about Abby 24/7 and you feel like it gets easier. Like you can breathe around her and you almost don't feel pain when she talks about her sex life.

Almost.

You know it's easy to deal with because all those girls in her bed are temporary while you're in Abby's life forever, and not because your feelings suddenly fainted. Abby likes to sleep around, she is a flirt even with you - a lot, actually, she thinks she can get away with a lot by saying she is touch-starved and then her hands wander off somewhere they're not supposed to be, and you let her, because you'll take whatever you can.

So you go through Abby's fuckboy phase with ease, because sex talk is way better than feelings talk.

A few years pass and suddenly the feelings talk starts, and you're slowly dying inside, because Abby likes someone. Abby talks about how nervous she is around her, she is always on her phone texting her, she is always busy when you want to spend time with her.

You hate this girl with all you have, because she takes Abby away, she takes everything away - Abby is not touchy anymore, she only hugs you briefly when you see her, she is not listening to you half of the time, too caught up in her fantasies.

You hope her girl is a bitch and an asshole and toxic so you can talk Abby out of it, but then Abby tells you she is going to introduce you at the party and you cry yourself to sleep that night.

"How do I look?"

"Like you need Jesus." You say honestly because Abby in the muscle tee and a pair of cargo pants makes you ache.

"Yeah?" Abby looks at you through the mirror with that fucking smirk she knows you like. "Am I fuckable?"

"We both know you prefer to be on the other end of that word, Anderson." You roll your eyes and put your shoes on only to straighten up to Abby's face way too close. She looks you up and down.

"You're very fuckable though."

"Fuck off." You huff and open the door of her apartment, hoping she won't tease you for being flustered. "Let's go before Manny gets so drunk you'll have to carry him. Again."

You spent the night in dread of meeting Abby's girl, dreaming of seeing her red flags or something to have a real reason to hate her to Abby's face, but then Abby lights up and she excuses herself to go and meet her girl, while you try so hard to not throw up from your nerves.

The girl is gorgeous.

"This is (y/n)." Abby motions at you and you smile politely. "This is Mia."

"I'm so happy to meet you." Mia smiles and she looks kind and genuine and fuck, you can't hate her. There's no jealousy in her, no fake smiles, no tense body language. "Abby loves you so much."

You swallow hard.

"I put up with so much of her shit, she doesn't have a choice." You joke and Mia laughs.

Mia is funny and cute and you understand why Abby likes her, because it's impossible not to. Mia is a type of girl that you'd think of as a bitch because she is popular, therefore arrogant, but when you get to know her she is a total sweetheart who'd help you find a way to your class if she notices you're lost.

This is hard.

This is going to break you.

You can't cope with this. You can't cope with seeing Abby's gentle gaze on Mia, with her careful touch and constant care. So you excuse yourself and go to the bar to get drunk, as if you can drown your feelings by dragging them to the bottom of the bottle. You dance and you drink, you dance and you drink and repeat it five other times until all long islands make you feel sick and you can't walk by yourself anymore. You're an independent woman and you refuse to ask for help, but when you can't order a taxi for the fifth time because your eyes are so blurry, Mia comes to you and holds you by your elbow.

"We will take you home, okay?" She says kindly and you feel your lips tremble. We.

"Jus- can you c'll a taxi f'me?" You slur, but you feel Abby's hand on your waist as she supports you. "Don't wanna ruin your night."

"You're not ruining anything." Mia says cheerfully and orders a taxi when Abby gives her your address. "Happens to the best of us."

The drive home makes you super dizzy and Abby has to put her hand between your head and the car door because you hit it all the time. The moment the car stops and Abby goes around to help you get on your legs, you throw up on the ground and it's a miracle you don't get everyone's shoes dirty.

Abby decides to carry you to your place and you can't shut up even for a second.

"I'm s'sorry guys. Not a good first impression. I really like you, Mia. You look kind. Like a grandma. In a good way, I'm sorry." Mia giggles. "Your laugh is very cute. It's cute, right Abby?"

"Yeah." Abby agrees quietly and what you don't know is that for her your drunken rant was way cuter than her girlfriend's laugh.

"Yeah. You look great together, I'm s'happy for you Abby. Haven't seen her that nervous because of a girl in years, can you imagine, Mia? You make this asshole nervous." You're chuckling sadly, you want to cry because you don't make Abby nervous.

No, you just embarrass her in front of her girlfriend because you're so pathetically in love you can't deal with it and drink half of the bar until you forget how to walk on your own.

Abby helps you change and Mia gives you water. She makes sure there is fresh air in your room and she tucks your blanket, and you close your eyes to hide your tears because Mia is so nice. She is a dream girl and Abby is so happy and there is no space for you anymore.

Because Mia took your place in that forever equation.

On the next day you text your apologies to both Abby and Mia (she followed you on instagram and asked you how you felt) and you can't deal with this. It hurts so much because you love Abby so much and you want her to be happy but it seems like the price of it is going to be your heart.

So you start avoiding her as best as possible, and what is more sad - it's not even that hard. Abby is always with Mia, fuck, Mia even asks you to come with them to hang out, which you always find an excuse not to. Library, fever, other plans, other plans again, sorry, paper is due tomorrow, my aunt is in town (she is not). Anything to not meet with them.

You still see Abby during classes and you give each other life updates, but it's been weeks since you actually hung out and you accept the reality that yes, there's no place for you in Abby's life anymore.

You cry every fucking night.

Then Abby suddenly remembers you exist and she asks you if you want to hang out, just the two of you, because she misses you. You miss her too and you agree.

You regret it the moment she cuddles you in front of her tv. She has a girlfriend now, why is she so touchy again? Did something happen with Mia that Abby came to you?

"Is everything okay with Mia?"

"Yeah, she is great." Abby says and buries her nose in your neck.

No. You can't deal with this.

So you start avoiding Abby at all costs after this - you can't shake the feeling that this is cheating, because for you Abby's touch has never been platonic, no. And it never felt platonic either, it was always giving you hope because Abby was flirting and touching the way friends don't touch each other. Maybe one day she'd finally give you a chance, you thought, but this day never came.

It is another party a month and half later - yay, Abby and Mia have been together for two months now! - and you don't know if Abby is going to come, but you hope she doesn't. You know she knows something is up and she will want her answers if she meets you.

But you have fun. You play games, you drink, you dance, you get flirted with and you forget about your pain just to get so drunk again you can't help but go outside to find a place to cry in peace.

You miss Abby, you miss her because she is a part of you and yes, you're in love with her, but she also your best fucking friend and you hate yourself for being in love with her, because it ruins your life. It has been ruining your life since you were fourteen and actually understood what you felt, but now it was getting serious.

"(Y/n)?"

Fuck.

You wipe your tears and look at Abby who is standing right in front of you.

"Hi." You squeak and she drops on the knees to look at you.

"Did something happen? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just sad. Don't worry." You try to smile but Abby's frown makes you cry more. "I'm going home anyway, so you can enjoy the party."

"What the hell are you saying? I'm not leaving you."

She should. She should leave you and not complicate it further.

Abby calls a taxi and you chuckle in your head - If you had a nickel for every time Abby was taking your drunk ass home, you'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

You tell her as much because the meme is funny and you try to be positive.

Abby helps you out of the car and this time you don't throw up.

"You know, last time I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mia." You chuckle and make your way upstairs with Abby's arm around your waist. "She is cute, I'm so happy for you."

Abby chuckles and leads you inside your apartment, but between the two of you she is mostly sober and she has some questions, and she wants her answers. You know this too, so when you sit on your sofa you feel like all your shields are crumbling: you’re giving up on hiding this from her. If this is the end, so be it.

"You've been avoiding me." Abby says quietly, looking you in your eyes like she is just a little bit mad. 

"Yeah, I know." You admit with a chuckle. "You have a girlfriend now, it's so cool. When was the last time you liked someone like that? Back in school?"

"So you've been avoiding me on purpose." 

"I don't think you can avoid someone accidentally, Abby.” You say, not holding back your venom. “Anyway, I’m so happy for you.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Abby moves closer to you  and you swallow your tears because there’s nowhere to run.

“Because it’s easier.” You shrug. “I just want you to be happy, okay? Does Mia make you happy?”

“Yeah.” Abby admits and you start crying again: it hurts so fucking much. 

“Good. It’s good. I’m happy for you.” You sniffle and Abby huffs, annoyed.

“Stop saying that. Stop avoiding my questions.”

Inside you all hell breaks loose.

“I love you, okay?” You finally burst. “I love you, and it hurts so fucking bad and I can’t fucking see you with her or know that you’re with her! What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were me? I can’t- I can’t-” You throw your hands desperately and bite your lip, too angry with this whole situation.

“I love you too.” Abby says, confused.

“No, no Abby, you don’t understand.” You’re quiet and angry, almost spitting every word out. “I’m in love with you. I’m not jealous as a friend, Abby. I’m jealous because I want to be in her place, okay? Fuck, I wanted to be in your every girl’s place since you started dating girls!” 

There is silence. You thought it would be terrifying - this silence - but right now you feel nothing except how dizzy your head is. You feel empty and there's no tears anymore. Abby stares at you in shock, her fists clenched, and you chuckle cynically. 

“So can I continue avoiding you now or should I suffer more?”

“Fuck, (y/n)..” Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, going over her face with her palm. “Fuck. Don't do this to me.”

“Well.” You huff, annoyed. “Not like I have a fucking choice, Anderson.”

Abby throws her head back and stares at the ceiling while you do the same, trying to keep your drunk ass stable. You feel like eternity passes before Abby speaks again, and it is strangely comforting, having your best friend here with you, in this boat of pain, and sharing it with her. 

“All these years. All these years we could have been together.” Abby sounds like she is mourning. 

You thought your heart broke when you met Mia? Forget it, it's broken now.

You sob, howl almost, and Abby is suddenly holding you in her arms, placing kisses to your hair. Her heart can't handle seeing you cry, never could - yes, she tried to move on with Mia, and it worked partially, but all her effort went to shit just now. You're the most precious girl to her and nothing can change it. Abby swallows and braces herself, suddenly making a decision in her head, all her anxiety about what is a right thing to do gone. 

“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all that time we've missed. I'm not letting you go now.” Abby says in your ear and you sob even more violently. “Come on, baby, I'm here. Let me see your face.”

You can't believe it. You can't even process it: is it your drunken dream? Are you hallucinating? It would definitely not be the first time. But you look up at Abby and she gently wipes your tears and there’s so much love and hurt in her eyes it’s hard not to break into another sobbing fit. 

“I've been in love with you since we were seventeen.” Abby smiles at you and you shakily smile back. “I’m sorry it came to this. But I'm here now.”

“I love you.” You say feverishly and Abby's restraint breaks.

She kisses you hungrily, practically devouring you, and you're weak, so you return her kiss and press into her, soaking in her warmth and strength. Abby is solid and tender, she holds you like she cares and you cling to her for a moment.

But then you remember yourself and push Abby away, shaking your head.

“No. You're better than this. You're not going to betray Mia like this. I'm not going to let you, Abby. We're not doing this,” You motion between yourself and her. “Behind your girlfriend's back. And I'm also fucking drunk.”

Abby chuckles and kisses your forehead. 

“Come on, I'll help you get into your bed.”

Everything else after is a blur as Abby helps you change and covers you with your blanket, and you fall asleep. You can't wait for the morning to come.

****

[yan-lorkai]

Self aware Floyd and/or Jade with a reader who falls in love with someone that cosplays them hehehe i can imagine Floyd being like 'Shrimpy, why are you fawning over a cheap version of me >:(' or smth similar (i'm not very good at imitating Floyd's speak partner tho it's obvious)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/n: Lowkey, I read this rq wrong the first time. I thought it said "cosplayer darling" and I was about to start writing it when I reread the request agaun lololol. Also big mood, as the cosplayer friend, I have this friend who always begged me to cosplay this or that character lol. Btw I added Azul bcs I lkve this cute octopus <3. @kiraiyugen

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, implied killing, kidnapping and punishment, gn!reader

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A cosplayer. At first, he wasn't sure what that meant, but after a quick search... You're in love with a cheaper, poorly made version of him, darling? You settled for that? The thought is unthinkable, really. Perhaps as soon as he leaves this awful world that separate you both, he'll show you how much better he is than this boyfriend of yours. He is so much better that he can even soothe you with a few words after your boyfriend suddenly disappeared. Let's just hope you don't go digging for him and forget him quickly, Jade would hate he would not to kidnap you and take you to his home.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Floyd is enraged from day one. He's always been here for you and now you betray him like this? With this copy of him? That copy isn't even good, in his opinion. So he decided two things, while he laid awake in his bed, first: he'll kill your boyfriend in the most painful way as soon as he founds a way to go to your world. And two: he will cherish you, love and care for you, after he ounish you, that is, for betraying him like that, for choosing someone who looked like him, yet didn't know how to act like him, didn't know how to think and speak like him. It was insulting to watch you fawn over your boyfriend while you played twst. And he will make you regret that.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul... He doesn't know what to think. For a side, he doesn't like to be impersoned, you could have him, the real him, all for yourself, since his heart and soul are already yours for the taking. On the other side, for you, he is only a character, your favorite character that you spend so much time fawning over, kissing and petting and talking to. And he loves to know you love this much. But he is greedy and he wants more. And for that, your boyfriend has to go. Azul plans and plot till he learn a way to get to your world. And when that happens; it's game over for you, for he knows the way you think and had already made a dozen plans for each possibility.

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

I JUST REALIZED MY MAIN PROBLEM WITH TRADITIONAL PAIN SCALES

they assume that pain = discomfort

so i was reading a post the ither day abt how you should rank your discomfort as well as your pain

and i just realized that that's kinda what i was tryna do whenever i ranked my pain in tge past

i was trying to smoosh my pain and discomfort levels into one number, and that just doesn't work for me

i'm in pain most of the time, but that doesn't mean i'm uncomfortable

i can be sitting down, comfy as can be, and have a 3 or 4 or 5 or higher pain rating

cause i'm in pain all the time

take my knees: they hurt p regularly, typically low level but it escalates quick. when my knees are at a 4 or 5, i'm perfectly comfortable.

this is something i'm used to and that ik how to deal with.

ADDITUONAL TANGENT BC I HAD THIS THOUGHT RIGHT NOW

traditional pain scales also are like "if you're in so much pain you can't move, you're a ten"

the levels are reliant on how they affect you physically, on how much they limit you

but i'm disabled and have chronic pain

when i'm at a zero pain level my actions are still limited, i still can't do some things or have to have supports

traditional pain scales are designed for abled people.

i can push through a 7 pain level.

i had dry socket, and it sucked. at the time i called it a 7.5, and so didn't go to the dentist for several days bc everyone i knew said it would be worse than that

and now i'm realizing that i was basing it off of abled people pain scales

i was physically capable of moving, eating, and generally going abt my day, so it couldn't be a 10

now that i'm thinking back, i'd call it a 10, or worse.

it was terrible, awful, agony.

it hurt to speak or touch my cheek, it hurt to chew or swallow, it damn near hurt to breathe

but i could power through it

it was the worst pain of my life

but i was physically capable of living my life, so it couldn't be as bad as i thought, right?

w r o n g

and when i got an abscess on the other side?

the only reason i went in any quicker is bc my cheek swole up to the size of a softball

(some of this problem is bc i have the tism and take some shit very literally, and the pain scale is smth i learned as a kid so i took it Extra LiterallyTM, but the tism is ALSO A DISABLING DISABILITY so, yaknow)

anyway, i digress

tldr; traditional pain scales are designed for abled people, and they rlly rlly do not work for me, at all

[meowuff]

This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)

So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.

I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.

In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.

I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.

So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.

And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.

Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.

While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.

A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).

While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...

I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.

So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.

In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.

Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.

I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.

I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.

I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!

I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D

Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.

Ok, that's all I got

BYE!

Thanks to all participants

@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure

[b0njourbeach]

Is Trey Cater a ship where Cater is an unhinged little freak and Trey is normal, or is it a ship where Trey gets to be an unhinged little freak and Cater is suddenly realizing in horror he's more normal than he thought.

Or are they little freaks together?

-@official-nrc-prophet

(Choosing Beetlejuice bc asking this is to me what is calling his name three times is to him)

Oh boy, I need a moment to get my thoughts in order. I do apologize if it becomes eventually hard to follow. There are too many thoughts running through my mind to capture them all in a sorted manner.

Actually 🤓☝️ They're two freaks in two entirely different directions who are both unleashing the others' freak but also taming it at the same time.

That is, if Cater would Trey allow to do so.

We've seen in canon multiple times that Trey looks through Caters Charade (two major moments I have in mind are Post-OB in Book 1 and the Wish Upon a Star when Trey asks Cater what his wish is) - Something we don't see often in canon.

But we have also seen moments where Trey has unintentionally gave Cater a little freedom to be himself: Not having to pretend to like sweets (Post-OB in Book 1), being Caters choice to "go for a little spin on the dance floor" (Firelit Sky Event) and given they've been roommates since their first year, I doubt those were the only times either.

I do like to think that Trey is genuinely Caters grounding point (as much as Cater allows him to be. He's got quite a lot of commitment issues which are indirectly confirmed in canon but that's another story). Caters type of freak is his fake self which gets fueled by whatever person around - But it takes a lot to make him drop the act or even just knock on the huge wall he has built up to shield his true self.

And Trey has built a camp in front of that very wall, prepared for Cater to let him in eventually (and he does seem to be quite persistent in canon).

Trey, on the other hand,, Where to even start with this guy? I can only imagine there are equally little people who knows how much of a fucking weirdo (affectionate) he is - One of them is 100% Rook. And I don't doubt that Cater is another one of those few people.

Unfortunately I don't have much canon to go on, so this is purely based on my own analysis and opinions (with a bit of HCs mixed in there but I'm trying my best to keep them out of the equation. After all, you asked for their dynamic, not for my silliness).

Trey is the prime example of the Oldest Child syndrome. Teaching his younger siblings, making sure they brush their teeth which lead to the point that he took this trained behavior with him to NRC where he's now conditioning Ace and Deuce (and I don't doubt others as well) to brush their teeth regularly. He most definitely helped his siblings in other ways too. He's the Vice Housewarden, the "Mom" as many twst fans like to call him (I truly dislike them for that but that's smth else) - A submissive position, especially if someone like Riddle is above you.

I'm going too much into a Trey analysis..

My point is: Just like Cater, Trey is rarely himself but they're extremely different in how similar they are. Cater is playing the act of that extroverted friend with too much energy and silliness, Trey is the quiet friend who is calm and friendly. In reality, it is Trey who would be the freak and Cater the quiet one.

So, to come back to your initial question:

If Trey and Cater would be alone in a casual fashion (no romantic intention, just two buddies alone in a room, chilling) and Trey would suddenly show a little spot of his true colors, I can only imagine Cater going something along the lines of "Holy shit dude, you're so much different than you show- And I thought you were the normal one between us." Trey would simply counter by pointing out Caters hidden true self with painful precision.

I tried to limit myself as close as possible to your question, or else I would've written a whole essay on why they're the best couple in twst.

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!

synopsis: title says it all!

warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there

type: fluff

members: everyone

wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K

not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((

reblogs and likes are very appreciated!

OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period

The sweetest man

He would literally be the best dad, fr

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)

He would do all the tasks for you

And compliment you!

Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water

« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »

he would be soooo supportive 🥹

« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »

« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »

He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life

« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »

« our baby will be so pretty »

« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty »

OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???

He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)

like tell me if im wrong (im not)

(Others members under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile

Listen…

This man would try to make the time less crampy

less painful too

Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.

He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)

So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things

he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you

But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it

This man would buy flowers.

I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »

Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there

Pregnancy jokes, even!

« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »

thank you seb for this joke ����

He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤

He would search them on google and he would be so proud

"im gonna be the funny one in this family"

He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)

Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)

RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax

He would judge you so bad for ur cravings

But he would buy them for you

Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile

And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚

« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »

But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)

Also… he would literally take care of everything

A bit like Oliver would do :)

« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »

« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »

He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec

« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)

« Go relax, my love. I can do it »

« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »

Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive

He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person

JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness

Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages

Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked

« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »

This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness

He just want the best for you 😁

Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it

« Hey baby, is everything okay? »

Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol

he has this gut feeling, what can i say?

« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »

« Yeah, just like that »

If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back

« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»

«  if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »

Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal

KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you

this man would be so cute.

I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true

We all know how kane give good massages

This man know what he’s doing!

He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever

« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »

Also, during the massage…

He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha

In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy

« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »

Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:

« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »

« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »

« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »

Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!

DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away

We all know how Darren is a great cook

So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)

« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »

Isn’t he so cute? 🥹

The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.

BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!

Also, he would kiss your cramps away

To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that

« Hey baby, are you okay? »

« Do you want me to help you? »

A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage

« You’re so cute baby »

And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!

also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!

« Are you feeling a bit better? »

« Come and rest next to me, alright? »

He’s such a sweetheart, woah

REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations

He would be the best dad ever, no joke

He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too

And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo

I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢

I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations

Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry

Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry

So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy

Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart

He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-

He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can

He would take care of you so so much too

He would be like Oliver haha

Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry

taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

Olegie has my heart 🤭

100% recommand this man!

Bold can’t be tagged.

[super-secret-clown-corner]

hey did anyone ask for a heavily biased list of s3 worldbuilding headcannons and how i think some of the lifesteal guys interact with each other? no? too bad i was force fed half of this by my brain while trying to go to sleep

cut for length bc it's long sorry not sorry

clownpierce

of course i have to start with clown he is like a bug to me and i'm putting him under a microscope

he is a BEAST. a CREATURE even.

aka he's from the void but no one except ash knows that

the deranged discord thoughts at 2 am said clown is from the void bc everywhere he goes he brings death. he kills. it’s what he does. he kills and he’s fuckin great at it. do you hear me. do you understand.

covered from head to toe in clothing to hide the fact he's from the void. there's a constant slight chill that surrounds him and it's only really noticeable when someone's almost touching him

he never lets anyone get that close anyway besides the occasional handshake or smth bc yeah anyone would be uncomfortable if someone was standing inches away from you. he plays off the cold hands with a poor blood circulation excuse if anyone asks

if he did show skin, his silhouette would be like a black hole where it's completely pitch black, and depending on the angle, he either appears 2d or 3d (very disorienting and unnerving)

this guy does not have a single stable relationship to fall back on. he allies with people for power and not for comradery, and it is So Hard for him to tear down the dozens of walls he keeps up around him because he often finds that when he does, he gets betrayed and left in the dust (mob anon from lifesteal headcannons i am thinking so hard about your submission)

plus it's hard for him to know whether or not this person is allying with him because he's The Deadliest Assassin Blah Blah Blah and they want that safety net/protection or if they genuinely want to ally with him

it takes him a long time to fully trust branzy, and even then he doesn't open up to him about his personal stuff

the mask stays On. Constantly. doesn't matter how much he trusts someone he will never willingly show his face

he and red have a friendly rivalry with the heart economy side of lifesteal, they're both competing for the title of strongest/holder of most hearts or smth like that

ashswag

dude used to be a normal guy way way way way before lifesteal events n stuff but then he fell into the void and came back Wrong

basically instead of dying instantly, he survived for a little bit longer than usual, broke through reality, and saw that everything is just a simulation and everyone is just code, including himself

that fucked him up bad physically and mentally, and his left side is all glitched and void-like now (chronic pain coded)

dude is technically immortal but he never really tested losing all of his hearts yet

he knows that clown is from the void because he knows what the void feels like and is hypertuned to it, and to him, clown RADIATES it like a space heater. he can't stand too close to him and has to have at least one person's width between them. he hasn't confronted clown about it though because he knows when to keep his mouth shut

being close to the void for him hurts in an ocular migraine type way, but he typically pushes through it when he's down at bedrock level or in the end

he doesn't make stable relationships with people because he doesn't really see the point in them

nihilism 100

whatever side he aligns with is usually the one causing the most chaos

branzycraft

evil little meow meow

let him be angry. let him have rage.

he is Just Some Guy (aka normal ass human) but he is so smart

not a fighter but he is a builder and a damn good one at that

need a trap that is sure to kill? branzy

very good at getting the fuck out of situations that would've killed him if he didn't immediately dip when he did

based on vibes alone, early s3 branzy would so be friends with subz and vitalasy (which i think actually happens so i win)

i need branzy to be envious of clown's fighting skill and heart count before he starts warming up to him. please where is the slow burn.

falls out with subz and vitalasy when he starts allying with clown and co, and especially when he tricks vitalasy into the funhouse

during the cleansing when the dirties and team chaos are relatively working together, vitalasy tries to reconcile and pull branzy away from team chaos, but branzy's lost in the power sauce

he and rek are Just Some Guy buddies who exchange near-death experience stories (i need more branzy and rek friendship please please please please please p)

i am ace beaming your clownzy mwahahaha

leowook

strap in boys because have you considered the tension between clown and leo after mob falls (once again mob anon from lifesteal headcannons i am thinking so hard about your submission)

they were tight. they were bros. they were homies. leo was the only person clown felt like he could confide in during mob. and then leo turned coats. i'm SO NORMAL.

clown has NOT forgiven him

super duper a cyborg. he's a tnt minecart pvper he had to have blown off his limbs at some point /silly

but yeah his limbs are mechanical, along with one of his eyes. can't really see it though bc he constantly wears a mask, long sleeves, pants, and gloves. i'll probably default to his left eye if i ever draw leowook face

he and red feel like they would be friends based on vibes

still works/allies with zam after mob in an attempt to go back to what he lost

slaps roof of leowook this bad boy can fit so much mob angst inside of it

princezam

certified Thing. don't know what, he just is

has loony toons vibes. to me.

so annoyingly positive in the eyes of the others, they all want to punch him at least once

hero complex 100

dude just manages to rizz his way into teams

zam is smart. he knows what he's doing.

ok actual serious hcs bro has the most worldbuilding in his explanation tbh

in my head, lifesteal is this independent port city-state that was originally run by everyone and acted as a free, international trade center. zam is the crown prince of the neighboring territory surrounding the city, and when mob started gaining serious power, he charmed his way into working with them.

the deal he struck with mob is that if he wanted to join, lifesteal wouldn't be a part of zam's kingdom and all of his actions in mob were separate from his actions as the prince. it worked out relatively well for both of them: mob got a powerful ally with good political/funding power, and zam got to play hero and get involved with lifesteal politics

when mob fell, he initially respected their previous agreement where he wouldn't play prince in lifesteal, but when heart economics grew too unbalanced in his eyes, he decided to annex the city and then start the cleansing

nobody enjoyed zam annexing the territory, and especially not when his first order of business was to have everyone over ten hearts withdraw and bank them to evenly distribute to people with less than ten hearts

gonna pause here for now bc i feel like if i tried listing another character, it wouldn't have the same heart behind it as these guys do. if anyone does wanna see another silly that i didn't get to here, feel free to shoot me an ask or smth idm :]

fuck cringe i am having a blast i love worldbuilding

[aonungyoufuck]

hi! i hope my request will be okay to you rules but im thirst for smth like this ;

y/n is sully, and mated with aonung (aged up obv)

so in the first part they do yfkyn (smut) and in the second part y/n is pregnant and all alone in the shore bc everyone went to fight with sky people. the birth started but there is so much complication so she end so messed up with so much blood coming out from her v and half conscious. when aonung come back he found her and first he loose his mind he was so scared but then he take her to ronal who need to do all the things like sew her and everything - her condition was tragic.

firstly im so sorry for my english (it is not my first language so yeah) but i decided to write because i see that youre aonung specialist 😂❤️

Ma Baby Ma Baby

Warnings: Obv birth, Some tear kinda gore? Graphic for sure.

Ao'nung (22) Reader (21)

Thank you for the request Anon! Sorry it took me a while since i dont typically write Smut i tried making it up with it some more with the rest of the story (Also i was lowkey coughing up my lungs so excuse my tardiness i hope this was okay!)

Finally. was all you can think about as you felt the stinging pain of the tattoo now being painted over your skin. Sure You dint really need to do this Given your darker complexion and the fact that well you weren't really metkayina well... But that didn't matter. You had stated this is what you wanted for you. For him.

"Almost done don't worry"

Truth be told this was only one Tattoo of many you were sure to have. One of your spirit sister, No doubt later came the mate tattoo.

Just the thought sent shivers down your spine. You had never thought this would happen. That you would be Mated to Ao'nung. Truly no you didn't see this coming.

Had you told yourself when you arrived and hated the poor man's guts. Well You'd probably ask you to drown. However now it was different. He had changed along side you.

"How gorgeous you are"

"Oh stop that i just came to show you" You said slapping his hand off of your hip. No doubt some time later you'd see your spirit sister with one too.

"And yet you take my breath away anytime i see you"

"Oh hush. Do you like it or not?" You asked moving your loincloth just a little bit more to show him fully the full thing.

Feeling his hand stroke your inner thigh and beginning to whisper in your ear. "I do"

"Stop that" You spoke slapping his hand feeling the other now rest on your back and pull you into him.

Now you were not much shorter than him. Not by a lot but right now you felt so utterly small, and in a good way too. Feeling him rub against you, the loincloth now rubbing right above your own.

"Ao'nung stop we cant stop once we start"

"Who said i want to stop" He whispered again now pushing you two down at full force. Him atop you feeling you and you in turn him.

It honestly felt like a bunch of little things were crawling on you with the excitement that you felt.

You two never done anything more than hug or kiss. Never taking it too far. You two knew better than doing anything before mating. But maybe it was time to try something new.

"Ao'nung seriously! Your mother and my father will kill us if we do anything right now"

"Its a good thing your worth it then" He spoke. Kissing your neck and lowering dangerously. Feeling his hand messing with your top.

Jake was a very strict father, It was a blessing he even gave Ao'nung the blessing of courting you. But if this went on any more you were sure you'd lose your mate before he even officially became your mate.

You may as well go out together, you thought now pulling him closer to you. You were thankful that right now it was well past eclipse and no doubt everyone was asleep. So if anyone were to see anything, well it was really their fault.

"It seems even you want this my love"

"Oh shut up"

Almost like messy teens trying to get something from each other. You two messed around with the knot of each other's loincloth. before Finally being expose to one another.

You couldn't help but avade looking at him. Before he placed a hand on your cheek making you turn to him. "Look at me my dear"

Taking in a gulp the air now thick with a tension you had only ever heard of. Looking at him fully. His tattoo on his shoulder wrapping around to his back and little over his peck.

"No need to hide now, dont you think"

You smiled letting him feel you. And you in turn touching him.

"May i ?" He asked looking down to your core. If you weren't high on the emotions you were sure you would have slapped him away to not look. But right now you didn't care.

You chuckled now going to sit at his lap. You wetting him and him in turn causing a friction you so desperately wanted right now. Kissing him. So desperate and yet so gentle.

Both your breathes becoming labored as you smelled each other. Kissing his head and then his collarbone before looking into his eyes.

"Take me as you see me"

He took in a gulp. Feeling you. Seeing you and tasting you. It was all he ever had dreamed of.

And with a prayer on his lips he guided himself to your core. The feeling engulfing you two as he bit your shoulder to hold back a growl that he had been holding.

Now exactly nine months later here you were standing and waiting for Ao'nung to return. Just like you had predicted Your parent's weren't pleased to know you two had laid with each other. Not that you had admitted to.

Actually you had a whole four months to prepare for your ceremonial bond. But Ronal wasn't stupid neither was your mother. Neytiri was talking to jake when the suspension came on. You had been eating too much and so she asked Tsahik to make sure of it.

Sure enough your parents. Especially Jake was beyond furious. And by default you two had your ceremony much sooner than expected.

Now To say Jake and Ronal were the only ones who were furious was an understatement. It really felt that Tonowari, Tuk and Tsireya were the only ones that were happy.

Bless Ao'nung for handling your family.

Unfortunately that short lived bliss of being mates was interrupted. Roa had been found dead with her calf. Now you all stood watching as your father told them to warn the Tulkun. You couldn't move. You weren't allowed.

You just waited watching as Lo'ak and Neteyam were now arguing.

It all happened in a flash. You were in the arms of Ao'nung, and then the next you were asking him to be safe in bringing your brother's back.

Taking yourself into your pod.

You prayed. The pit in your stomach now hurting as you felt your breath hitch. You still had a few months to go. But it felt painful suddenly.

"Eywa please please let this fear leave me" you begged. Hand on your stomach as you couldn't even hear the horns sound.

War didn't just hurt those to went to it. Soldiers bled but the innocent stay and suffer that pain.

The silence of the village was what alarmed you. You were completely alone. Perhaps the stress? The emptiness of it all but you felt your water break.

Panic seeped into your heart. It was far too early. Too dangerously early and you were alone. Nobody in sight. Without even thinking you let out a cry unbeknownst to you calling your Ikran 'Ana.

You didn't even know what to do. All you remembered was what little you had learned from Ronal and your mother. You thanked 'Ana for being ever so patient as you pulled at her face and held her there while you went into the water.

Let Gravity help

That's all you were told was your best of friends. And so you did. Feeling 'Ana Grumble and growl along side you. Perhaps too she was scared of what was happening.

You felt the sting. And then the shooting pain. You began to push on instinct too But that sharp burning pain didnt stop. Looking down at the water you saw red.

Blood. A lot of Blood

'help'

it was the only thing on your mind as you finally felt the relieve of the growing tension ease.

But that wasn't the end of it. Yours lungs ached and the bleeding was getting so much worse. Looking at 'Ana you looked at her finally.

"Please..get mom"

That's all you wanted letting her fly off. You looked down again. Placing your hand down to feel. An open wound. And the head of your babe poking out.

Screaming again as you began to push. Feeling yourself get lightheaded. You looked to the open sea. Cries. War. And you were all alone delivering your babe by yourself.

Begging, Silently praying to Eywa as you felt your legs shake.

Ao'nung along side Tsireya was now dragging back a wounded Neteyam. He made a promise to bring your brother's back. Jake Had told him to take him back to shore and that's what he did.

His people Some wounded and some not so much. Some being dragged. To the safety of his mother's healing pod.

And that's when he saw you. He was so sure he didn't let you anywhere NEAR the battle. He was so sure he didn't see you there. But there you were.

He was one of the very first few people back. And there you were laying on the shore. The water around you red.

"Ao'nung!" Tsireya yelled now taking Neteyam in her arms as she saw him run to you.

So much blood. So much blood. Dragging you he saw the cord that now left your legs and he began to search the water. Scared. Terribly scared, frightened to his core to think that something happened to you or the babe.

And then he brought the small thing up. Its movement now erratic before he let out a shrill cry. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be so happy

But this babe was so so small. So terribly tiny. And you were bleeding.

"Go take her to the pod! Go" Tsireya yelled again struggling to drag ao'nung but noticing some people coming back.

Ao'nung didn't think he just picked you up and placed the babe in your arms as he took you to his mom's pod.

Now he was no healer. But his mom had taught him how to stop the bleeding So while she would take a while to get here He could do what was the best for the meantime.

Jake now stood in front of the pod where you were being taken care of along side Neteyam. He was both thankful and yet Furious with himself that he let this happen.

He looked at his son in law. his face a distant memory of when he let home tree fall. A loss and yet being so lost in thought.

"kid?"

He didnt respond possibly to shell shocked as he waited

"Hey it'll be alright okay?"

"Will she be alright?" He asked like a little kid. Looking at his family and then Tonowari both parents dealing with having to protect their kids.

Before he could speak. Ronal opened the veil of the pod looking at all of them and then her son. "she's alright"

"and Neteyam?"

"He's alright as well. Hasn't woken up yet but is stable. Come" She said stepping aside and letting them all in.

You kept looking at the ceiling. As you had been the entire time you were conscious. Ronal having to stitch you up and while painful it wasn't as traumatizing and enduring labor alone.

You saw Ao'nung and then your father. And that's when you began to cry. You had been so scared and you were terrified as Ronal had not said a word about your baby.

"Shh its okay. Its okay sweet girl" Your father said stroking your head as you couldn't help but cry.

Ao'nung holding your hand before he felt his mother tap him on the shoulder. A small bundle. Barely the size of a healthy babe in her arms.

"He is tiny. Premature. But he is healthy" She spoke watching as all your family now surrounded her and watched.

She was right. Such a tiny little thing.

Ao'nung smiled. Kissing your head as he just held you. "healthy my love healthy"

You couldn't help but laugh a little through your sobs as you felt ronal lay the small thing on your chest. Sure now came the path of having to care for such a premature babe. But you were just glad all that pain. All that panic was worth it. Because as you two stared at your little son. It made it all worth it.

"Welcome to the family little one" You heard Neteyam say next to you. and Oh Eywa. Was it the thing you wanted to hear after hearing your babe cry too.

[concretepuppy]

hope does the erectile implant work? i always thought of like... a button or smth lol.

there are three types. i have the AMS Ambicor two-piece hybrid system (the newest of three. AMS is the brand, Ambicor is the model). all options will need to be replaced eventually. *theoretically* they could last forever, but because theyre mechanical devices that are getting a lot of friction, and in the case of phallo penises supporting something relatively heavy (phallo penises are significantly heavier than natal penises bc natal penises are mostly erectile tissue, which is spongy and light, but phallo penises are mostly subcutaneous fat or muscle, which is denser) so eventually they wear out or break. luckily unless the break is the result of trauma and caused any of the stuff inside the silicone to break the silicone or the device somehow breaks through your skin, it’s not dangerous to have a non-functioning device in your body. all three options are attached to your pelvic bone using titanium sutures. the small amount of metal will not set off body scanners/meta detectors and are all safe for MRI machines, and you’re given a patient info card to show when it’s relevant.

the types are:

1. Semi-rigid rod. exactly what it says on the tin. it’s a rod of ball-and-socket joints covered in silicone. the rod is always semi-rigid and does not get more or less hard. you bend it up (at a 90° angle to your body) for sex, and bend it back down for daily use. this option lasts the longest bc there’s less mechanical parts. i know two people who have had it, and both are satisfied, though one says he sometimes has difficulty topping anally if the bottom is a virgin or rarely bottoms anally. in cis men (who are the only population who have any studies wrt erectile implants, so they’ll be the comparison i use) this typically needs replaced every 5-10 years. there are many different brand options

2. Inflatable. A hydraulic system where a “reservoir” of fluid in a bulb that is ovular like a testicle is connected to the cylinders implanted in your penis. there is a button on the reservoir you push multiple times to fill the cylinders with fluid to become erect, then press and hold the button to become flaccid. For phallo patients, the reservoir is typically placed on one side of the scrotum and the other side has a testicular implant, but the reservoir can be placed anywhere in the pelvic region, it’s just easiest to access in the scrotum. This needs replaced more often than the semi-rigid rod bc it has more moving parts, in cis men it generally needs to be replaced every 5-7 years. i’m not sure about brand options bc i never considered this option.

3. Hybrid. what I have. the only existing option afaik is the AMS Ambicor. it’s a hybrid of the other two. it is a semi-rigid device, though less rigid than the rod, so it still has a truly flaccid state. the reservoir is again typically placed in the scrotum. unlike the inflatable, there is no button on the reservoir. you squeeze the reservoir itself to fill the cylinders with fluid & become erect, then you bend your erect penis at a ~60° angle in the middle (it looks very painful but it’s not at all, it’s not even uncomfortable) to deflate it.

i had some issues with inflation/deflation when i first started cycling the device. my balls were still sore so squeezing the reservoir kind of hurt, so i wasnt inflating the device all the way, which made deflation difficult. but now that i dont have any post-op pain, the process is easy and painless and cycling the device (inflating and then deflating it right after. you have to inflate the device once a day to “keep the fluid moving” according to my surgeon, so if youre not having sex or jerking off you just do a quick cycle) takes like two minutes, if that. it typically needs replaced in cis men everg 5-7 years.

my surgeon, Dr. Geolani Dy, prefers the hybrid for phallo patients. it has less risk of erosion (the tip of the device coming out of your skin bc the skin gas eroded due to pressure/friction) than the rod bc it has a flaccid state, but it can handle more weight than the full inflatable and thus is better suited for phallo penises. with the inflatable option OHSU offers, the tip of that device is a bit more pointy than the hybrid, so it also has a higher erosion risk. not sure abt any other inflatable options. but all three options have their pros and cons! there are also external erectile devices. some DIY using two coban/vet wrap and two condoms to create rigidity (note: this is not “safe” as in “safe sex” bc the friction of two condoms means theyre likely to break, so should only be done with partners youre fluid-bonded with), but this really only works for PIV sex and personally i could never get it to work for me. there are companies that make external erectile devices, like the Elator or the Stays Hard. both were designed for natal penises so both companies recommend phallo patients email them and work with them on sizing to ensure a good fit. i never tried these options so i cant speak to how well they work.

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

i rly hate 2 b the 1 2 get mad at ppl 4 liking things but im begging u guys 2 b more discreet abt liking horror games

u can like horror games that's fine

u can talk abt it and post abt it online that's fine

but pls tag ur shit ffs

tag everything properly

don't put fucked up images in the thumbnails of any videos u r gonna make

like idk i thought this was just basic common sense abt liking horror media but 4 some reason i keep seeing rly scary images of the game mouthwashing on every website i go on lately, untagged, no warning, nothing just- GUYS!

like idk im assuming its bc the game is popular or smth but it sucks so much seeing content that is genuinely triggering 4 me, like i know stuff abt this game but i never actually went looking 4 anything abt the game i just can't seem 2 avoid it, just, idk try 2 b more fukin mindful ig?! im not even mad abt ppl just liking the game and making posts or videos or whatever as long as they r tagging stuff and not putting scary shit in the thumbnail so ppl can avoid that content if they don't wanna c it w/out getting jumpscared

i think what's even worse is that the more i learn abt the source material the more i learn that the fandom is legit even more ableist than the villain in the canon source material

like...

im basically bed bound and rely on other ppl taking care of me 4 the most part, i can't rly move much and i usually only hav the energy 2 do 1 or 2 small things in a day like knitting or smth and the rest of the time im basically just laying in bed and mayb watching tv or playing video games (also still laying in bed) it's genuinely triggering 2 c how ppl in the fandom sometimes talk abt curly, im talking abt the "roll away curly" ""jokes"" the fact that some ppl think the idea of him having 2 use aac is funny the ""jokes"" abt how he would b better off dead bc being unable 2 move or look after oneself and in constant pain is smth these ppl can't imagine getting better from, it's smth ppl think is impossible 2 live a life worth living like that, do u hav any fucking idea how fucked up that is 4 me 2 hear as some1 w chronic pain who is basically bed bound!? some of u guys would b jimmy if u ever talked 2 a severely disabled person and it shows

everything i learned abt this game and fandom was without my consent and i hate all of u <3

[upsidedowngrass]

hi these are some thoughts i had about liam a min ago. theyre messy but im thinking abt them so much . blwos up (text version under the cut, tho i also put the text into the alt)

its. initially he doesnt seem OPPOSED to help or anything but he def develops just. not considering himself. he doesnt care what happens to him as long as he can do what he needs to .but i think at the most visceral he still will avoid things that Actively Will Be Painful, tho i think hes more aware of that in heavy hindsight, or when its extremely imminent (gestures at ep 14)

DEFINITIELY… I THINK TO THE SHIT W THE SMOKESTACK SM hes like. is it dangerous? yeah. could i get in legal trouble? yeah. but its what stone wants, im sure of it. and i need to do that. no matter what

bc he obv is scared of death!!! he actively AVOIDS it in ep 14. which ofc is a low bar but its like. it shows his priorities SO well

that saving the others+stopping the others+just. doing whatever stone is asking him, thats giving him … some semblance of a purpose w what he feels like is already a permenantly destroyed life that cant be pieced together, that he has nothing else, thats weighed heavier than his own safety

he DOES object to offing himself in ep 13 though. at least he says as much, but he. doesnt seem to convinced. i think it was on his list of idedas but hes scared of death so idt he wanted to outright do THAT unless hed exhausted his options entirely, and following the notes WAS his 'options'

he cant follow the notes if hes dead, and as far as he knows, dying might screw up his ability to follow them. so its not smth he WANTS and hes scared of it and will avoid it if he can, but his own safety is considered a lower priorty; the same way he didnt wanna kill airy, he didnt wanna kill himself- stopping one from continuing, follow the notes were a higher priority, but if doing that directly requires doing the first two things he doesnt wanna actually do, he would do it. which , the thing w the smokestack isnt suicide, but the lack of concern for his own safety feels cut from the same cloth, really

THE FACT THAT HE CONSIDERS IT IS SO. hes so obv at his last straw its so upsetting. i think he realizes its illogical and thats what properly deters him. if its the wrong call, after all, it could ruin his chances- he needs to make use of his life as much as he can, he doesnt actually know what comes after bc he wasnt there long enough, but he knows its terrifying- but if it had been what he needed to do he would. but it doesnt seem to be

the argument is so very much. bryce fully coming to the realization that liam isnt just unhappy. that this isnt just smth hes just adamant abt, or a surface level problem and solution- he said 'you really are a mess' abt the eggs and i think at that pt all he knows is that liams Obsessed w this, and he knows shit got worse, but that liam is dwelling on it (smth bryce, master of handling his emotions, does not do /silly) - that hes doing this for himself and is just being ridiculous. but the argument i think is when it clicks how deep seated it is. i think after liams final little outburst after bryce says liams doing it for himself, i think the calling of bryce by soda bottle, the phrasing all makes it click that hes not just a guy not handling problems well, and isnt just being stupid, that liam is actively at the end of his rope and has stopped keeping himself safe and couldnt give less of a shit abt it- and its only then that it properly clicks for bryce. which ofc bryce couldnt know this is more an observation of what that convo does, bc what it does is like. make it click for bryce just how deep seated this problem is. he cant say 'dont do that' and walk away, and i think that probably scares bryce, because hes often the one fucking himself over- and this time, its someone else doing that, and its terrifying

he ultimately follows liam out of compassion- he doesnt need the keys. the car is totalled, and im fairly certain itd cost more to repair that thing than to get another car. he doesnt need liam for that. but i dont know if, before liam says his final thing, bryce wouldve fully followed him up the smokestack. bc theres a pause in bryce following liam at the gate, and i think thats the stretch that was because of what liam last said. bc he still cares about liam of course. hes pissed and catches up w him the first time because hes fucking angry and reasonably so, bc this guy STOLE AND CRASHED HIS CAR . and is mad abt it, and wants liam to know that. and he follows him to the gate bc hes WORRIED bc liam is being stupid, but that last stretch is like. thats him deciding that. liam isnt being stupid, hes not thinking and doesnt care and that its not smth liam COULD even do intentionally, bc its not smth that occurs as smth illogical and dangerous (and that being bad) if youre out of it and fucked up and dont know how to handle it. and bryce has his own issues, and hes not an asshole, and following liam up there is just. its him acting bc he knows liams too out of it to not get himself killed, and not only does he not want that on his conscience, he knows liam doesnt deserve to have that happen to him due to being so fucked up by things that he CANNOT think straight. hes not responding well and no matter how much someone could say he should try, like bryce was wanting him to, liam isnt at that pt. there are stages, so to speak, of experiencing trauma, and theres a point where its hard to even conceptualize that you SHOULD respond better to it, even if told, because it makes everything turn on its head and its hard to follow that, no matter how logical of a person you are. and bryce knows this. that liams not not trying to heal, that hes not in a place he CAN

if that makes. any sense. i have a lot of feelings on it

[pentagonieslut]

DKB REACTS: "can you cockwarm me?"

cockwarming, cursing, slight sex, slight 's' (sadism) lune cause its my fave (i want him to be s with me so mf bad), mostly g/n except for lune (mentioning of VS), harry june(mentioning of stuffing reader full in both holes) n junseo, slight (my very evident) size kink with junseo bc it's all you need, slight voyeur with dongil n junseo, jealous harry (aggressively bites lip), harry's is probs the longest because its also love and deepspace based, mention of messy sex, gona popping off, evident desire to have sylus ruin me, i'm sorry i'm being honest, it's hard hours, i just want to ride sylus's thigh once, harry's thigh too, can't forget heechan's, i'm very much in love at the thought of sylus being a dilf, this isn't even about DKB anymore, if DKB were love and deepspace characters i would be pregnant, i'm sorry once again

okay, i lied..i'm posting it early.. enjoy cuties!! it's been a while huh (i've been playing love and deepspace and moved again)? well this time, i'm back and going nowhere (sylus ladsp drabble soon cause i'm delulu)! i hope you enjoy the reaction and i actually didn't even mean to make it this long but i'm lowkey a whore and the thought of sylus makes me just mm.. uh anyway, my requests are always open so don't hesitate to even ask smth even if i'm slow at publishing my writings because of my pickiness..ahem also if you wanna talk like about random things or wtvr my blogs are always open lol (ldsp ID below if you wanna add me). also happy comeback!!

HUNTER ID: 82000027511 | lv. 48 | kaina kaiser-ryu

changmin (echan):

changmin was working on a song and he sighed for the umpteenth time. looking up from your phone, you smiled at him as he turned in his chair to face you. "come take a break and relax, it's not good to work all stressed." you said as he nodded and walked over to sit on the couch next to you. putting down your phone, you turned to massage his shoulders as he visibly relaxed and moaned at the feeling. chuckling softly, you grinned. "someone's going to need some good care tonight, hm?" changmin nodded his head as he leaned back against you. "baby, I have a question."

stopping your massage, you raised a brow and looked at changmin who only cleared his throat. "can you cockwarm me?" laughing and nodding your head you smirked. "yeah, of course I can. let's do it right now."

changmin had grinned and unbuckled his belt, yanking you onto his lap and watching as your face flickered in pain, him not even giving you a chance to prepare yourself as you leaned towards him with a soft hiss. "you've just been waiting to fuck me.."

changmin only smirked and his hands gripped your hips tightly.

dongil (D1):

dongil was busy laughing and chatting it up with his frat brothers as they talked about the soccer game they had watched. you had appeared at the right time as the boys all decided to play FIFA and dongil hugged you tightly with a grin. "I'm glad you made it." laughing, you grinned as you kissed his cheek and walked past him, going to greet the others. "I wouldn't miss your loss to minjae whatsoever."

dongil rolled his eyes as he placed you in his lap, focusing on his game as you quite obviously joined the others in cheering for minjae. "I'm your boyfriend, hello?" dongil said with a slight pout as you laughed and ruffled his hair. "yeah but minjae deserves the love more than you do." you said with a grin as everyone expected, the match ended in minjae's victory.

taking the controller from dongil with a grin and shifting in his lap to get comfortable, you winked at him and focused on the tv, your match against minjae starting. "watch how the queen/king does it." you said as dongil watched you play against minjae, moving around in his lap as the match became more and more intense, everyone's cheers becoming louder with each second.

grabbing your hips as minjae called for a pause and everyone went to get snacks or take a piss, dongil pulled you against his chest and spoke in your ear in a low voice. "can you please stop moving?" smirking, you felt his boner against your thigh and shook your head. "no can do. can you wait until later?" you asked as dongil groaned. "I'm not going to be able to wait..can you just cockwarm me?" nodding your head with a grin you laughed. "anything to keep you satiated." you said as he quickly lowered his pants and lowered yours, placing you back onto his lap as you swallowed your moan and him biting his lip to silently choke on his, feeling you tighten around him as the game resumed once minjae came back and dongil gripped the couch for the sake of his sanity.

gwanghyun (GK):

gwanghyun was bored and seeing your collarbone with the hickey he had given you a few days before exposed had made him swallow as he remembered that night, how he had let his anger and possessiveness take over, leaving you a sticky mess.

"sweetheart." gwanghyun called as you turned to look at him, your sweater falling down your shoulder again as gwanghyun swallowed back the groan that was on the edge of his lips. "yes, gwanghyun?" you asked as he looked at you and swallowed his groan again. "l-lift your sweater up, it's falling down.." he said as you lifted your sweater up, smiling at him as you turned to focus back on the puzzle you were doing.

you jumped at feeling gwanghyun's arms wrap around your waist, his face buried in your neck as he groaned softly and looked at you. "sweetheart, I know your legs hurt from the other day and I'm sorry but this is a different matter and I have a question that needs an immediate answer." laughing, you turned to fully face the male as he took a deep breath and looked at your collarbone with the bite mark. "can you just cockwarm me? i know your legs hurt but cockwarming should be a little easier, no?"

"as long as you're gentle. i don't think over-the-edge angry you is the one I want to have in bed every night." gwanghyun smiled and leaned over to kiss your lips as he lead you to the couch and laid you down on your back gently. he smiled softly as he removed your pants and lowered his, leaning down to kiss your lips as he pushed into you slowly, a deep moan leaving his lips as he then moved to have you in his lap with a soft smile. "so pretty.."

sungmin (lune):

sungmin groaned in frustration as you ignored him, arms crossed over your chest as you sat on the couch and watched mo dao zu shi on the tv. the two of you had gotten into an argument over your modeling pics, him not being happy you posed for victoria's secret.

"baby! just look at me!" he yelled out as you turned and snapped at him. "why? so you can yell at me again?!" rubbing his face with a hand he sighed. "okay, I'm sorry. i was wrong about that." scrunching your nose up, you sneered at him. "oh really, you're sorry?"

his eyes narrowed as he walked crossed the kitchen and stood in front of you, grabbing your chin roughly as he spoke with a dark voice. "I told you I was, didn't I?" looking up at him with wide eyes and swallowing harshly, you nodded your head. "y-you did.."

"you know what, i feel like using a human fleshlight." sungmin said as he jumped over the back of the couch and plopped down, man spreading and looking at you as you struggled to hold back your groan. his face was pretty but he looked even hotter when he man spread.

knowing better than to keep sungmin waiting, you quickly stripped and walked over to him as he grinned and yanked you onto his cock, shoving into you as he sighed happily, feeling your wall clench around him.

heechan:

heechan had just finished dicking you down and you were a cum filled mess. you had no intentions of moving as heechan laughed and cleaned you up. "remind me to never tell you that you can fuck me all night ever again.." you said with a soft grunt as heechan laughed and laid down next to you, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"i beg to differ. you were busy begging for more." he said as you laughed. "okay yeah I did but still, you could've gone easy on me a bit." grinning as he kissed your neck, he shrugged. "not as fun as seeing you tear up under me."

as the two of you relaxed, heechan's voice filled the silence. "doll, it feels empty without you around me. can you cockwarm me while we sleep?" laughing and looking back at him in amazement, you raised a brow. "babe, I'm still leaking your cum..are you serious?" heechan nodded his head and pouted. "please?"

"fine."

smiling, heechan scooted closer to you as he entered back inside of you, a soft moan escaping the both of your mouths as heechan snuggled closer to you, satisfied as he fell asleep immediately.

junseo:

"tiny. i'll pick you up from school later." junseo said as he hugged you, his leather jacket left with a faint scent of you. nodding your head, you smiled and waved goodbye as he grabbed his helmet, exiting the apartment.

as promised, junseo and his friends were waiting outside of your school as the students all whispered with one another, surprised that you actually got along with the gang. hugging junseo as you greeted him and his friends, grabbing your helmet he had held for you, you slipped it on as you sat in front and junseo held onto you as you drove the both of you to the hangout spot.

once you arrived, you went to change your clothes out of your school uniform and into your normal clothes. junseo came over to you after seeing you in your new outfit, him pinning you to the wall as he kissed your lips. "you look so good." he mumbled as you laughed.

junseo kept kissing your lips and moved to kiss your neck, mumbling how gorgeous you looked as he kept kissing and even bit your neck lightly, a hand covering your mouth as he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

junseo pushed your skirt up a bit as you shuddered at the cold air you felt hitting your core. "i could eat you up all day.." he mumbled as he kissed and nibbled on your lip. you moaned softly as junseo mumbled and whispered in your ear. "can you let me put just the tip in?"

you nodded as junseo lowered you down and lined his tip up with your entrance, pushing into you gently as he continued kissing you and lowered your skirt, so nobody would see the way his cock twitched inside of you as he continued kissing you once again.

"hey! no fucking in a public area, go to one of the rooms!" one of junseo's friends yelled as the two of you broke the kiss, you laughing loudly and junseo turning to flick him off, his face evident he was more than ready to fuck the shit out of you.

yuku:

yuku had asked you what you thought about cockwarming randomly. when i say random, i mean:

the two of you were eating ramen and you were in the middle of slurping your noodles when yuku had called your name. "cookie. what do you think about cockwarming?" you choked on your noodles and cut off the noodles in your mouth as you swallowed and chugged your water. "huh? why mention that now?" you asked as he leaned closer to you, his hand holding chopsticks holding his chin up with a grin. "you just looked cute in the panda onesie and cheeks full so i just had to ask."

that was two weeks ago.

yuku had sighed and was sitting on the couch, tired from dance practice. as you looked at him and smiled softly, you placed a hand on his shoulder. "i'll take you up on that offer from a couple weeks ago." yuku looked up at you his hand paused midair as he put his popcorn kernel back down. "what offer?" he asked as he tilted his head to the side, as it took a second and he smiled his gummy smile. "oh yeah, come here." he said as he patted his lap and you climbed into it, him smiling as he kissed your lips and watched as you moved off him and gave him head.

his head was tossed back against the couch as he laughed softly. "cookie, aren't you supposed to cockwarm me?"

harry june:

you were playing love and deepspace, ignoring everything going on around you as you stared at the misty invasion memory wish video (the video is basically sex, they're all half naked for those of you without the game), drooling over the scene of rafayel kissing her character and sylus lifting her character up and placing her onto the counter as he grabbed her hand and pushed her down, the kiss sensual.

"god, i want sylus and rafayel to be so rough with me i'm sobbing for them to be gentle.." harry turned his head to look at you as he raised a brow, listening to you talk to yourself as you kept hitting the 10x wish button. "you want who and who to what with you?" he asked as he folded his arms and looked at you, his phone in his hand.

looking up at him you raised a brow. "rafayel and sylus. i want them to fuck me stupid until they break the bed." harry nodded his head and squinted his eyes as he went back to scrolling on his phone as you got into a deepspace trial, cursing and yelling at rafayel as if you were really fighting the wanderers. "shit! rafayel, baby, i need you to move! no matter how sexy i look in the eternal desert outfit!"

harry looked up from his phone once again to see you furiously mashing the buttons on your phone screen as you started to stand up from the couch next to harry, screaming at your phone in panic, trying to make a buzzer beater before the trial challenge ended. "ah! raffy, baby, please don't! no, move! fuck, fuck, fuck!" you shrieked as you continued to furiously mash the buttons, screaming in delight as you jumped up and down. "yes! i knew i could count on you baby! i never doubted you in the first place!"

harry started to grow jealous as he watched you glued to your phone, even snatching his phone charger from him as he was about to use it, your evil glare sending a chill down his spine as he backed away and let you plug in your phone, your whines now about sylus, as he saw the animated parts of the storyline, shaking his head not understanding why you were so enthralled with 3D men when you had him, quite literally, a human 3D character sitting next to you.

"sylus if only you were real, the way i would cry if he did the take you down challenge.." she mumbled as she stroked her phone gently, harry rolling his eyes and becoming fed up, snatching your phone away from you. "okay, that's fucking it." he said with irritation as he turned your phone off and threw it on the chair across the room.

you glared at him and got up to grab your phone, shrieking in shock at how fast harry moved to have you pinned against the couch. he glared down at you, his eye twitching. "all damn day, it's been 'xavier this' 'zayne that' 'sylus fuck me' 'zayne would dick me down better than xavier' to that stupid fucking game on your phone. do i not exist anymore?" he spat as you stared up at him, eyes shaking as you looked around before becoming angry at him. "it's fucking love and deepspace! do you know what misty invasion has done to me?!"

"yeah, made you want to be fucked by men who don't exist! i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake!"

"so?! why can't i fantasize about a demon dilf or a doctor who has ice powers?!" harry groaned and shook his head as he leaned down closer to your face. "because you're my property, doll." he said as you swallowed and squeezed your legs together.

harry had bit your neck, causing you to stop breathing for a second as you let out a soft groan of pain. moving down and his jealousy taking over, harry had marked your neck multiple times, grumbling about how 3D men should be banned around him if he was going to have to watch you be a whore for them.

an hour later, harry leaned over to lay on top of you, tired from how hard he just fucked the desire of sylus dicking you down out of you. "maybe i should get jealous more often. you won't be having those deepspace guys filling your holes the way i do." harry said as you hugged him and laughed softly. "jealous harry is definitely something i could get behind as long as i can keep playing love and deepspace to push you over the edge."

harry kissed your lips with a grin. "yeah, i'm going to stay inside you longer in case i need to remind you who i am and what you are."

[scalproie]

for OTP asks. SubScorp: 9, 17, 51, 60. KazJun: 25, 26, 33, 51?

me thinking about love: hahaha yesss this owns

me getting asks and now having to put my thoughts in words: wait oh god

Anyway. Subscorp:

9. What are their thoughts on having children?

A child of their own? Nah. Kuai has enough maturity to realize that while he is a good teacher, he would not be a good father, both bc of his lifestyle and his lack of experience. Out of the two it'd be Hanzo who'd be more likely to consider children, but he's already been burned once (eh.) and considering how hard it is for him to move on, it'd be years into the relationship before he would see himself raise a child with someone else again, and by that point he and Kuai would be too old. And besides he already has been able to place his paternal projection onto Takeda, so he's good.

17. Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

Hanzo. I see Kuai as someone who is extremely in control of his actions, out of discipline, out of fear, take your pick. I see him as someone who will keep his emotions in check even if it causes him to yearn to death, him doing smth that intense out of passion, while not downright impossible, is very unlikely to me unless its under very extreme and unusual circumstances. Hanzo on the other hand. Hanzo feels. Hanzo acts. If a situation arise where he feels a strong need to pull his lover by the waist and kiss him (most likely in the aftermath of a battle, both covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies), by god he's going to do it.

51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

Its looking for ways to spend more time together, like one forcing himself to wake up in the early morning to go sit in the gardens next to the other who wanted to hear nature wake up and feel the first rays of sunlight, or the other struggling to stay awake much later than he's used to at night because he does not want the interesting conversation they're having to end. Its making small meaningful gifts to each other as clan leaders that feel so personal to them bc they knew each other as individuals first before as figureheads. Its the small comments that they've managed to redeem their own clan in the other's eyes, and that said clan doesnt bring them pain as it once had because its embodied by the one who lead it and they have nothing but positive things to say about each other.

60. Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Both. You get to sleep next to the one (1) person who does not suffer for the unnatural temperature of your body, and you both have potential nightmare-inducing trauma, and you have been denied intimacy for most of your life either bc it was forbidden or bc it was torn from you. I bet theyre both unconsciously clingy.

Kazjun:

25. Do they have any hobbies they share?

Sparring is an obvious one. Kazuya said himself that fighting is a huge part of his life and Jun's strength does not come from nowhere, what better way for them to bond than to clash their family's opposite style against each other? As for their personal ones, I dont think Jun would understand sneaker-collecting nor would Kazuya understand bird-watching, but Jun would indulge Kazuya should he chose to open up and share that interest with her, and Kaz definitely does not have the patience for bird-watching but I could see him at the very least see the appeal of forest-bathing, even in a self-interested way.

26. What are their vices?

Kazuya is a pile of vices in a purple snakeskin trenchcoat. Jun's vice is Kazuya. Her choosing to love him and wishing for his wellbeing while knowing fully well he is not a good person who has hurt others (and as of t8, by his own admission in the first chapter, only death will make him stop) is the only thing that stops her from being a perfect, morally correct character. But that does not make her a bad person and that does make the love wrong or any less real.

33. Who’s the better cook?

So you'd THINK that with Jun's infamous cooking skills, I would say Kaz, right? Wrong. I think Kaz never had any reason to cook a single day in his life but still has some rudimentary cooking skills for his own personal gain. They're equally bad but with their abilities combined they'd be able to cook one (1) decent meal.

51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

For Kazuya, it's literally just trying. His world begin and ends with himself, any positive actions he could take for someone else will usually only be done if he get some hidden self-interest out of it. So him doing anything small for someone else, because he find them worthy of being aknowledged (most likely for their strength, bc power is EVERYTHING to him), because he doesnt view it as a weakness to connect them to himself, because he views their happiness as beneficial for him, aka make him happy in return, is the loudest he can be that he loves someone. Like I dont even have to try with this one, that's literally just his t8 ending??? Like he is NOT the type to say "I love you" outloud in the first place but you can just see in his ending that holy shit, he loves Jun, he loves her. For Jun, it's coming back. Jun will try, but she will not return to someone whom she does not love at the cost of her wellbeing, it's literally the lesson she tells Jin: "Your wellbeing is important to those who love you, so for their sake, you have to take care of yourself". So her coming back to someone, her staying with someone, is the biggest proof of love I think you can get from her. And Jun is just as lonely as Kazuya? But its the way they deal with loneliness that make them such a match: Jun is someone who endlessly gives and Kazuya is someone who endlessly takes, but with Kazuya, Jun has something to get if she's staying with him, and with Jun, Kazuya has something to give if he wants her to stay. Ying Yang once again.