#that was harder to write than expected

[purplink8]

My Lawlight headcanon is that-

L fell first:

But Light fell harder:

__________________________________________

Yeah yeah, I'm well aware that the first friend scene was a lie from L's side and a mind game from both sides- BUT look at Light's FACE (and no Light's a good actor but this split second of '...' + transparent eyes is not a performance imho)

He's genuinely stunned (translation: L broke him for a moment there lmao it's like, during that single moment, they're the only ones in the room!) BEFORE he realizes that they are playing a role here in front of the task force. As Ryuga and Light; which is what he tells Ryuk later:

(His eyes are hidden *clenches fists* Light is emotionally affected and does not want anybody to know that L got him. Again.

Except this time, he feels humiliated in a strange sort of way.

Despite everything, including the whole 'enemies till death do we part' thing they have going on? Light enjoyed his time with L (albeit not without the collateral damage of other people dying but I digress). He DID like playing tennis with Ryuga as he tells him. That part's not a lie! L being a good friend is not true though.

L does not want Light as his friend for real. He's bullshitting as always to catch Light off guard. This isn't new. But it. is. Personal (to Light, at least).

Only it shouldn't be! This is all part of their game, isn't it? Then why does Light feel a bit...disappointed due to it not being real? In an alternate universe, would he have liked truly being L's friend?

No! Of course not, that is a ridiculous line of thought! Additionally, just 2 chapters ago, Light was like:

Can you see the lawlight and yagamane parallels here? L intends to catch Kira!Light and poses an execution threat to Light while Misa means to date Light and poses some threats of her own:

Both L and Misa come on too strongly toward Light (one as an enemy and the other as a potential ally). Light merely wants to get rid of them both so as to achieve his keikaku with ease. While dealing with Misa, Light thinks, 'I'll be killing her eventually...I can't develop feelings. That's how most idiots screw up.'

Notice how similar this is when it comes to his dynamic with L as well? He has to kill the latter eventually too and his reaction (to when he's confronted with the fact that Rem *can* kill L at his immediate request before the fiasco of Misa getting arrested happens at least) is this below btw:

The guy is truly shocked at how easy it seems to kill someone as intelligent as L. Light does not smile or seem amused. He takes this (L's future death) very seriously (I think it's the first time he does this since his first two kills). I believe it's partly due to the begrudging respect he has toward the genius detective and partly because of the 'what-if's in his mind.

His eyes, blown wide, are unreadable except for the astonished look they show. It is a rare display of emotion we see from Light (I can't seem to pinpoint just what the emotion is tho) which is quite noteworthy imho.

________________________________________

...Wow I got carried away.

The point is! Light feels a little humiliated for letting his emotions get the better of him even if it was for just an instant during which he was gobsmacked by L's lie which he wished for it to be true.

Light can rationalize it all he wants but deep down, in his heart, he'd always know that there was a period of time (however small) that he not only fell for L's lie, but also secretly under LAYERS of repression actually just wanted to live in that world- the world where there was neither L nor Kira, just Ryuga and his friend Light.

That's wishful thinking and boy would Light hate this if he acknowledged for even a second that yes, he does want that.)

Again. Light 'Developing Feelings = Idiotic Screw ups' Yagami cannot afford to deceive himself that L, on some level, wants to befriend him as that may as well cost his life if he did. He cannot get distracted as that was most definitely one of L's intentions of calling him his 'first friend'.

He'll dutifully play along as he had anticipated it a while ago:

"I like this, Ryuga. If you want to be friends with me. I'll gladly hang out with you."

Light sure looks thrilled as hell to be role-playing as L's friend lmao- like he loves mind games, he revels in duplicity, he enjoys challenges that L adds to his life so is it any wonder that the combination of all is *chef's kiss* for Light? He is so so EXCITED to be hanging out with L face-to-face + looks forward to stabbing him in the back!!

Gotta love lawlight! </3 <3

[the---hermit]

how I take notes on non fiction books

I recently made a post on my study method, and decided to make a whole separate post on my note taking method. The structure of the notes I write doesn't vary too much from my lecture notes to things I might have to read. A couple of useful informations you might want to know before I start actually talking about note writing is that I am mainly focused on studying history (tho I have had other humanities exams in my degrees), and that I study for oral exams in which the material is mainly composed of non fiction books, but sometimes include articles as well as lecture notes. Somehow I have also failed to mention that I am speaking about HANDWRITTEN NOTES. I only do handwritten notes, I don't work well digitally, so keep that in mind. And with this being said brace yourselves for a very long post. The bullet points I will be making are not really in a specific order and I will be including a few pictures too.

The first step when I am working on the materials for an exam is to figure out in which order I will be reading (and writing notes) the books. This hasn't really much to do with the notes themselves, but it's important to know which of your materials is more general and what other things go more in depth, so that you don't struggle too much while studying. Another plan related thing I always do is to write down each chapter of the book I have to study on my bullet journal and how many pages it is so I can plan my studying more comfortably. If the chapters are very long, and divided in subchapters I sometimes also write those down.

The goal of the notes I write is to fully take the place of the book, so they tend to be very detailed and long. I do this because the very act of writing is part of my study method, and working on things I have written down in my own words is just much better for the type of learner I am. So basically I read the book only once, then it goes back on the shelf and I work exclusively on the notes. This means my notes need to be detailed and well organized.

My method is to read a chapter, underlining important stuff as I am reading, and then right after I am done reading I work on the notes for that chapter before moving onto the next. I do this because it makes the note writing more effortless, I am fresh with informations I just read and I basically just need to skim over what I have underlined.

On underlining, since it is so important. I underline everything I will be including in my notes, it might seem much as sometimes it consists of full paragraphs, instead of key words. But this is okay because my notes I don't just copy and paste.

To create useful notes you need to be re-elaborating the informations. You need to read, understand what you read, and be able to write it down using your own words. That way the notes will be easier to review, they will often be composed of shorter sentences, and by doing so you are also actively making writing part of your studying and not just a mindless activity.

Personally I don't work well with full pages summaries, I need the text to be visually broken into sentences/small paragraphs, and I use a lot of symbols as well as abbreviations.

Symbols and abbreviations are in a way part of your very own language when you are writing notes, you tend to develop these with time, but they are so useful. I personally use different types of arrows, all caps words, position of the text in the page, different methods of highlighting and abbreviations (usually for words that come up often like country names, for example Italy becomes ita, France becomes fr, etc.).

Your notes need to be useful for you, they don't have to necessarily be comprehensible for another person (which means you can and will fuck up sentence structure because sometimes skipping a couple of words makes the notes shorter and still understandable), and they do not have to be pretty. They should be as tidy as possible, but again that might change from person to person, I have some very messy looking notes that make total sense to me. With time you'll learn what works best for you.

I have a visual memory so as I mentioned titles, highlighters, all caps, the placement on the page and other similar things are very important in my notes. I cannot fully exapain some of these things because some definitely only make sense to me in the moment (like the words I choose to write in all caps, or the way I highlight things).

I like to have a clear chapter and subchapter break (so that in case I need to refer back to the book it's super effortless). I like to write those with a red pen, usually the chapter title is in all caps and the subchapter in coursive, but it really depends.

I use only two highlighters in each set of notes yellow for dates, and the colour I associate with the book/the subject of the book (I have synesthesia I don't make the rules when it comes to colours). This of course might change depending your preferences and on the element of your notes you want to focus on. I like to have spacific colour for dates and time periods, because of course while studying history that is a fundamental element. If you are focusing on other subjects you might want to have a specific colour for names, or other elements.

I like to leave a big side margin to add either key words (especially in lecture notes since they might be messier and jump around informations more often), or additional information in a second time (sometimes it happens, after you read another book, or attended a particular lecture you have to add a couple of sentences and I rather have a blank space that never gets used rather than no space at all for emergencies).

I honestly mentioned everything that came to mind right away, but since note writing is now basically a mindless skill I have been practicing for years I surely forgot about something. I might end up adding to this post in the future or write another one. My note-writing method has also changed a lot thought the years from high school to university, it's a skill I have been perfecting for the past decade. This to say that depending on what you are working on things might change, and by experimenting with different things you might find out things that work very well for you. If you have any questions on specific things I didn't mention or that wen't clear my inbox is always open and I am more than happy to help.

Since this post is already very very long I am adding the pictures below the cut

Example of a page of notes before and after highlighting

Example of symbols and structure of the notes and the way I highlight things (in which you'll hopefully be able to understand my handwriting, and in which there might be some spelling errors but alas that often happens in my real notes as well so if there are any it's for the sake of accuracy lmao). If I end up adding informations on the margins I always use a pen of a different color so I can tell which informations I got from what source (ex. main notes from lecture, colorful notes from additional article).

Example of messier notes in which the main text in black are the notes I took during lectures and the additional colorful text was added while writing the materials (I rarely do this, it usually happens when the lectures follow a book precisely, which happens when we have to study books or summaries written by the professor). As you can see I often use post it notes to add more writing space, and sometime I even use them to create visually separated sections. If I end up adding some drawings I also usually like to have them on post it notes so they stand out more (and if you are wondering why the hell would an history student need drawings it's usually either because I need a map or a region/state to mark things out, or when studying for archaeology exams I often needed visual references, for example to identify different types of vases or decorations).

[notagayloser]

There are moments when Robotnik’s hands are gentle—fixing Stone’s collar, tracing the violet bloom of a bruise—but it is not tenderness, not really.

Stone is a biological canvas stained with the fingerprints of his maker.

Robotnik’s hands have built machines, burned bridges, shattered bones—and now they sculpt devotion itself. They straighten Stone’s tie with the same precision used when calibrating delicate machinery, they trace bruises with curiosity. Fingers brush against flesh like instruments against glass, testing for fractures, for flaws in the architecture of his creation.

To be handled by those hands is to be understood—taken apart, examined, remade.

In every scar, Stone carries a signature. Every conditioned flinch, every desperate breath, every trembling plea. It was carefully curated by Robotnik. Every single cracked edge of Stone’s soul is hidden in a file somewhere, annotated with clinical fascination.

The proof of devotion, flickering in Stone’s every desperate plea, every breathless whimper.

Because of this, Stone does not need to say he belongs to Robotnik—his body, his mind, his every conditioned reaction screams it because it is instinctive, involuntary—a reflex carved into him like writing etched into metal.

Robotnik doesn’t love Stone despite his obsession, he loves him because of it—because it’s fascinating, beautiful in its predictability and volatility. Robotnik does not give care—he engineers it. His affection is rooted in observation, data collection, and meticulous analysis.

To him, this is how you care for someone: you know them, down to their biological rhythms.

And Stone, like a moth developing a symbiotic dependency on flame, wants for it. He devours every scrap of attention, cradling it to his chest like a holy relic. He begs. He pleads. And Robotnik finds the begging beautiful—not because of sadism (though sometimes it’s that too), but because desperation is data, and that data is beautiful.

It's proof that autonomy is a myth when devotion can be designed. Proof that Stone’s perfection is not in his freedom—but in the way he breaks, predictably and beautifully, every time.

[namelessprayers]

there was a significant lull in the timeline, a shard of painstakingly frail peace amongst the sway of countless things that threatened to tear them apart. within this period, some distant and far off way into both future and past of timeline after timeline, lu guang woke up and found himself in a most dire circumstance; for once in his many lives, he wasn't going to live long enough to see cheng xiaoshi die first.

this much was evident as he looked himself in the mirror and realized he was steadily decaying, dying, all signs of life draining from his eyes like the hammer of judgement relayed upon him by the weight of his sins and hypocrisy.

a part of lu guang spoke reason. he wasn't allowed to give up now. what was another selfish deed of defying death, yet again, to someone who'd already done it a hundred times over?

another part of lu guang was relieved, whilst also tinged with guilt for that very emotion. this was a sort of freedom, wasn't it?

maybe this was the ultimate solution to all of it as well. if cheng xiaoshi had no arms to die in, perhaps he would never die at all. though it was a flawed and foolish notion, to lu guang, it almost seemed logical; the perfect trade between him and the universe in its forever unflinching tirade of time.

then, somewhere hidden in places even cheng xiaoshi could no longer get to, lu guang was secretly afraid. what would it mean to die in pursuit of a life with cheng xiaoshi? would it be failing? would it be worse than if the cycle just continued indefinitely? would it be so bad to keep hoping, however hopelessly, instead of ending all hope by simply dying? he didn't want to leave cheng xiaoshi behind, despite the fact that lu guang broke promises and lied like it was only natural, he still wanted to keep staying as he'd once sworn to.

and after everything, after death itself, lu guang had stayed. so shouldn't he stay again? shouldn't he stay true to what he said in every timeline from the very beginning? it was only fair to cheng xiaoshi when most of lu guang's existence in this timeline was not.

there was a muffled crash from the kitchen. it was probably cheng xiaoshi on account of lu guang not putting the cups in the right place, never mind that he thought he did because he was thinking of previous timelines. it really wasn't lu guang's place to concern himself with what happened to the attempts prior, but he couldn't help carrying over old sentiments and erased memories.

it was only right, lu guang decided as he stared down his own dying reflection, that he was made of many pieces mistakenly borrowed which were finally flaking off and killing him as it should've done from the very start.

perhaps, he really didn't mind dying, but knowing cheng xiaoshi, it was equal to abandonment, absolute and permanent. now that little inconvenience, lu guang did mind quite a bit.

with exasperation towards his own indecisive plans, lu guang resolved apologetically to the universe and timeline that this would not be the end. it was still too early, for him and cheng xiaoshi both, to quit; and when had lu guang ever made compromises for cheng xiaoshi's sake? for them, it was always everything he could give. a dying man wouldn't stop lu guang, and just because he was the dying man in this case, why would he stop now?

======

"i'm dying." lu guang said, about a week after he realized but a month since the decay really started, because he could be honest when he wanted to be. plus, this was important and cheng xiaoshi deserved to know this much. "it's like... cancer." however, lu guang never told whole truths anymore, as it just wasn't a possibility in his situation.

for his omission of countless things, he'd one day say sorry to cheng xiaoshi, but for the moment, lu guang was too occupied in trying to save them to properly consider voicing the amendments for a clear conscience. besides, morals were just finnicky rules to bend.

"dying?" responded cheng xiaoshi, half late in incredulity and uncertainty, concern seeping through like plaster for lu guang's non existent wounds. "are you sure?" cheng xiaoshi asked politely, before standing face to face with lu guang so that he could immaturely tap on his shoulders and check that his senses were still intact. lu guang withheld a snort, cancelling it out with a wry comment.

"are you saying i don't know what dying feels like?" he scolded, in a tone that suggested the thought to be ironically backhanded, which it was for the most part while knowing the history of the recipient. cheng xiaoshi's petulant frown prompted fairer clarification. "i feel that the line between living and dying shouldn't be that hard to distinguish."

as lu guang stated his objectively correct view on the subject, cheng xiaoshi's hands roamed from top to bottom as though the impromptu full body inspection was of the utmost importance and diligence. he stopped and backed away after poking the bridge of lu guang's nose for an unnecessary amount of time.

"i don't believe you." cheng xiaoshi declared with crossed arms and a lethal eye filled with determination. however, the inflection was severely off from his usual smugness, like he was only waiting for lu guang to refute him. they both picked up on this, so cheng xiaoshi added more for extra emphasis. "you look pretty alive to me."

"sure. it doesn't change the truth of me dying." blandly returned lu guang, undeterred by cheng xiaoshi's unwillingness to believe him. denial was a significant stage of grief; lu guang would know it better than anyone else, thought perhaps not as well as he knew bargaining.

"then?" asked cheng xiaoshi, looking at lu guang like the answer would appear right there in the air between them. lu guang wished he could tell him anything was that straightforward, but time just loved throwing them for a loop. "if it's like cancer, there'll be a cure, right?"

at that, lu guang knitted his brows together with worry.

"since when was there a cure for cancer?" lu guang questioned, with a serious kind of edge to it, because wouldn't it be crazy if he dived back so many times that fundamental planetary facts had been completely altered? no, it really wouldn't. it would only be something to both marvel and fuss over on top of everything else that lu guang was already getting headaches over.

"there isn't..." a confused expression parsed across cheng xiaoshi's face, his stare turning suspicious for a fleeting second before he righted himself and trailed back into surety, "there's no cure yet, but people will find one just like we'll find a cure for you."

clocks were so much louder ever since lu guang first dived back and stuck around instead of returning to his former timeline. they were all hollow without cheng xiaoshi, and cheng xiaoshi always managed to be the loudest presence even when he was silent, even more than the tick of a clock as lu guang was decaying with each passing second.

lu guang had already resolved to staying alive, but it was tiring to be constantly dying and living at the same time. he just wanted a day to spend with cheng xiaoshi, preferably on repeat, where he didn't have to worry about either of them standing up and dying all of a sudden.

"i'm tired, i'm dying." lu guang felt the shift of atmosphere immediately, because for once, he'd pretty much said the whole and absolute truth in its entirety. surely the universe could reward him a break for this one bit of progress? "can we pause for one day before we sort this out?"

"you're..." cheng xiaoshi gave lu guang a critical glance and clicked his tongue like when he got stuck on a stupid mobile puzzle game. "well, you think you're dying, and you want to wait to figure out how to stop dying?" he laughed soundlessly, barely mimicking the sincerity of his usual self. "lu guang, i can't tell if you're really bad at being funny or you're actually dying and it's messing with you're ability to think."

with a latent sense of exhaustion, lu guang lamented their idiocy and ignorance. neither of them had written a will, and although there was no point to it, lu guang wondered if everything could've been avoided if they just did a joint will with a clause that said 'don't you dare go back in time and get stuck trying to keep me alive'.

then he looked at cheng xiaoshi and knew, inexplicably knew without a doubt, that it was only lu guang who would be foolish enough to pull such a stunt. he closed his eyes and sighed.

"cheng xiaoshi," lu guang said, because it felt like the only words he was ever good at saying, "let's go on a date."

======

they were going somewhere. to a place. that wasn't what really mattered, it never was, in the end.

(cheng xiaoshi died anywhere as long as lu guang was there to see it)

"i don't get it. did you actually say you were dying as a way to confess... because that's a terrible confession... also how does that even work..."

lu guang took a deep breath.

everything might be bad but at least cheng xiaoshi would never run out of his penchant for indirectly confronting the truth.

"yes. i assumed that if you pitied me enough you would indulge me." it didn't help that all of lu guang's lies were starting to pile up into what looked like precariously stacked shards of glass.

"that's..." cheng xiaoshi narrowed his eyes and glared at the pavement, "weird."

then cheng xiaoshi did his own sort of weird thing despite all of lu guang's recent weirdness. he stopped and laced their fingers together, smiling something so soft that lu guang could feel his heart get a dozen steps closer to stopping in just a fraction of the moment.

cheng xiaoshi tugged him along about three times slower than before. it was nice, and it was always the truth when it came to this.

(cheng xiaoshi was the only truth in lu guang's self destructed reality)

"i would've indulged you anyway."

======

it was a very subtle and beautiful and still moment. early in the bright morning when the light caught in lu guang's eyes and the oxygen could no longer be felt trickling in or out of his lungs. he wasn't dead but he was dying, imminently, and here he was laying in bed with cheng xiaoshi instead of doing anything to actively prevent it.

what was lu guang supposed to do? he had never been honest with anything, even when he loved something. it was funny maybe. it was expected, perhaps.

lu guang didn't know, but the sun was warm where it bathed cheng xiaoshi's hair in a golden colour, and where cheng xiaoshi lay on lu guang managed to be warmer still. lu guang was not at all an ounce of the truth, but he combed through cheng xiaoshi's hair regardless with the care that a romantic might have; a romantic that wasn't dying and was honestly, transparently, achingly in love. only one of those things might've applied to lu guang.

he could tell this was it, sooner rather than later, because these were the thoughts that only a dead man could have. hysterical, incoherent, nonsensical; lu guang just wanted to stay where he could not in timelines that he was never supposed to fit.

incredulously, lu guang picked up the calm humming from cheng xiaoshi, some familiar lullaby from another timeline or the same one or an abandoned and decaying one. they were all the same, as of now, converged under the weight of lu guang's sins and soon to occur death. lu guang reasoned as only an insane person would, that he'd stolen each of his lives from himself, and that this was only the correct cost to pay.

if lu guang was to bear the best of it, here, right now, with cheng xiaoshi in his arms, then he would have to bear the burden of it too. he was scared though. he really didn't want to die.

but that wasn't the truth either;

the truth was that lu guang could picture cheng xiaoshi alone, and that was wrong, and it would all be lu guang's fault. meanwhile, the other option was to keep doing this forever, fighting to keep them both alive, with cheng xiaoshi still dying wherever lu guang tried to take them next. what running could be done from such invisible forces? what other strings could lu guang pull? there was nothing, and it was still his own fault because he got them here-

"lu guang." cheng xiaoshi stared at him wearing an indecipherable look. "you're crying." after stating it, cheng xiaoshi simply used the back of his knuckles to graze beneath lu guang's eyes. "lu guang."

"cheng xiaoshi." lu guang whispered, and he kept crying, because it really felt like he was dying.

(there were no better last words lu guang could give if it was the end)

[skania]

I need to know your thoughts on the leaks about Kana slapping his corpse in front of his mother plz?

Ever since TB, Kana's character has been acting like a clown and this chapter is no exception. A clown through and through 🤡

[eod-agent-13-12]

Hele, Guerilla Songs, and Nap Time

Florian falls asleep to a lullaby while in Reginald's arms.

Content Warnings: Death, Childhood Memories, Crying, Emotional Breakdown, Poisoning, blood and injury, Impermanent death (it's Agent Phoenix death time loop, after all.)

For @tillywunderwing. (Tilly, you asked for this, hope it makes you bawl. >:3 Please blame her for this idea. /j /silly)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Agent?" Reginald looked around the medical facility when he noticed that his agent was not in their ward. They had been grumbling about the fact they only passed out after forgetting to sleep for a few days straight. 'It wasn't a big deal,' they say.

He walked around, asking any nearby nurses and other agents. They all pointed towards a certain room deeper inside.

Dozens of files and mission details swapped in the handler breakroom returned to him, followed by a heavy dread. His footsteps soon hastened, trying to get there on time.

The Head Support Agent stopped at the doorway, listening to his agent sing a lullaby as they held the hand of the dying agent, a product of a well timed poison on Zoraxis' part. It was too late for any antidote or any other solution.

Agent Phoenix held the agent's hand as they gently sang a song he never recognized. Their eyes glimmered as they tried to hold back the tears while they sang.

"Ako'y paalam, na, oh Nanay ko! Ako'y lalayo na sa piling mo. Yaman din, yan' ay tungkulin ko'. Ang maglingkod at magtanggol sa bayan ko." *

He stood there, listening to his agent sing the rest with solemnity that contrasted their usual grin they wear whenever they best Zoraxis in their plans.

This wasn't his usual Phoenix, not the singing and crying agent. They should be signing and smiling, not this.

They lingered, watching as Dr. Marcel provided the time of death. His eyes begging Reginald to help take his agent away from this.

"... Agent... You... did what you could." He practically dragged them out, pulling them as their numbed movements tugged at his heart with the weight of their body.

"... If only I did my mission faster. Maybe... Maybe I could've..." The squeaks in their voice reminded him of the few times he'd blamed himself for how other's missions turned out.

But he knows it'll only destroy them to think like that. It wouldn't help.

Brown eyes stared back at him, light soon shimmering to the bits of grey in them as they held back the sobs. "... I'm not strong enough to save everyone. I'm sorry."

He carefully tucked away the brown fringes that tangled up in front of their face.

"It's not your responsibility to do so... Florian." He looked upon their eyes, trying to pull them outside of that spiral before they could even be lost in the guilt that shouldn't belong to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pa, I can't sleep." Florian looked at the older man in the middle of the night, dragging a comically long looking pillow compared to their tiny height. "... I had a nightmare."

"A nightmare? About what?" He set down the letter he was reading, turning towards his child before opening his arms as invitation. "Did something scare you?"

"Mhm. The field trip. The bomb shelter passageway thingy. The darkness... It looked like it would swallow me whole!"

He chuckled, silver eyes meeting his child's brown. "Maybe it's meant to be like that, firelight. Maybe they're trying to hide what is precious so they're trying to scare the bad guys off, you know?" His hand gingerly carded their hair away from their face.

"Really?" They soon sat beside him, slowly increasing his heart rate as they sat on the arm rest and rested their head on his chest.

"Yeah. Sometimes, you need to look a little deeper to know what exactly is going on."

"... Can you tell me a story?"

"I can do something better. It's... an old song I heard from a... friend." He wrapped an arm around them, making sure they wouldn't fall off as soon as slumber returns to them.

Peaceful rest returns to the child as the old melody returns, along with memories of those who had moved on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Reginald, listen to me. This is not your fault. You hear me? Don't... Don't get in there. I know you were really planning to go to that underwater lab." Dr. Prism looked at the screen, then towards him with certainty.

"But they... they need back up. Well, the evac team will come get them but-Agent!"

"I'm alright. I'll be fine. Just... Shhh... I'll be fine." Phoenix's microphone hissed as they applied pressure on the cut created by the poison tipped arrow from the bear archer.

"Phoenix!" Roxana yelled, looking at the screen feed of them still grabbing wires.

"The cut wasn't that deep. Please tell me they can get there in less than an hour." They kept an even tone, eyes slowly flashing darkness as they unleashed sparks in Zor's latest schemes.

"We'll try, Agent. Please hang on. And... great work for getting that contraption shelved for the next few weeks-look out!"

Agent Phoenix rolled away from the collapsing component, which they have dodged easily, clearly not dying from it the first few times.

"Well, Agent. I'll see if we can get there much faster than normal."

"... That would be greatly appreciated. I'll try my best to get to a place where you can land quickly." Their fingertips felt cold, cheeks slowly regaining color as they caught their breath.

They fought the urge to sigh when they heard him disconnect the headset.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"... Pa, is everyone arguing again?" Florian laid their head on their father's lap as they felt him stroking their hair gently.

"That's why I told you to sleep. Now, you're hearing the adults argue about things. Why didn't you sleep with your cousins and siblings, hm?"

"... Ate was pinning me under her arm." They pouted, trying to fight off the sleepiness taking over. "I couldn't move."

"You need to grow up one day. But... I suppose today is not that day."

"... I can't sleep."

"Is it the passageway nightmare again?"

They shook their head. "No. I just find it hard to sleep in places I'm not used to."

He chuckled, looking at his child who was valiantly fighting off sleep on his lap as they stared at him with tears.

There was little debate on what he needed to do to let this visit just a bit more bearable.

"Di mo rin kaya, bayan, nalalaman? Sugat ng puso, buhat ng sumuko Asaha pa rin, di kita pababayaan Ay! Kahit ako'y sumapit sa kabilang buhay"**

He patted their head as he placed it on his lap, hand on their pulse as he counted slowly. He ignored how cold their fingertips were getting when he removed their gloves so he can feel their life slipping away.

"Ako'y paalam, na, oh Nanay ko! Ako'y lalayo na sa piling mo Yaman din, yan' ay tungkulin ko' Ang maglingkod at magtanggol sa bayan ko"*

Reginald choked as he got to the part he reached in that hospital ward, trying to match the way their eyes barely watered as they lulled their fellow agent to the next life.

Just like he was.

"Di mo rin kaya, bayan nalalaman? Sugat ng puso, buhat ng sumuko Asaha pa rin, di kita pababayaan Ay! Kahit ako'y sumapit sa kabilang buhay."**

Agent Phoenix curled slightly under his touch, trying to burrow into him, clearly dazed from the warm fuzzy feeling.

They were hearing a lullaby after a nightmare, after waking up in the middle of the night in response to something heavy.

Nothing was pinning them this time, only their own chest tightening as the poison slowly shut down their body.

They're not there, they're curling up in their pa's lap, enjoying the feeling of returning to their childhood, of not minding any of the silly things adults argue about.

"Kaya't ang bilin ko ay ganito: Huwag nang babanggitin ang ngalan ko At kung ako'y di na makarating Ang bangkay ko Sa bundok mo hahanapin"***

He really wanted to not sing that part. But... they did. It wouldn't do right if he skipped out in the end. He had to be there for them.

Would they want to be forgotten? Only talked about by whispers? Or would they want him to keep talking about them?

Reginald held their hand as he watched the light fade from their eyes. They clung to him like a child trying to fight sleep but also falling for the warmth he provided.

He looked at Dr. Marcel, his turquoise eyes turning away as the doctor declared the time of death. Their time of death.

When Phoenix opened their eyes and met with darkness, tears slowly started to form as they covered their mouth.

They had been dealing with that stupid bear archer for several runs already. But it was never this bad.

Their mind tried to recall the facts but their body yelled profanities at being ripped away from safety. From childhood. From not being killed every other mission or so.

The reality hit them, hitting them over the head. They weren't a kid anymore, no longer snuggling for warmth. Adulthood, especially whst was born from the path of a secret agent, had traded the warmth of cuddles with the covering of a blanket. It just wasn't the same.

But the world waits for no one. They'll need to wipe their tears and just... try to move on like nothing like this ever happened.

Because, in the eyes of the world, it didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The title of the song is "Paalam na, Oh Nanay ko" (Farewell, oh my mother), a song sung by Filipino guerilla fighters during WWII. (Last I checked.)

Here's the (my very rough) translation:

*I'll bid farewell now, o my mother I'll be going far from your arms It's my duty and responsibility To serve and protect my country

**Wouldn't you know, my country? The pain of the heart when you surrendered But keep believing that I won't abandon you Ay! Even if I go to the next life

***That's why for my last request: Never mention my name again And if I never return My remains You will find on that mountain

Additional note: Florian absolutely cried about this after they got home from the debrief. And probably went to their siblings (fellow Phoenixes) and just cried. That death was rough on them.

Tag List:

@phoenix-and-found-family, @the-one-and-only-043, @agentwraith, @jellyfishgummy

@agent--shadow, @blueorchid-95, @silverdragon889, @stellar-collective

@juniperfan16, @warden-draws-sometimes, @definitelyunhingedagentphoenix, @dandorime

[firstkil]

love you mutuals thank you for putting up with my shit for the past couple of weeks

[breannasfluff]

How about Venus for dp with Danny and Sam, cause I could see this going a couple of ways and I'm curious!

Congrats on the follower milestone btw!!!!! You deserve every last one for the incredible dedication and love you give to everything you create, and more people should appreciate it!!! Have a cake!!! 🎂

And cheese, as a treat <3 🧀🧀🧀🧀

“Look, Venus is out tonight.” Danny bumps Sam’s shoulder, pointing up at the sky.

“That bright one?”

Danny moves her finger to the right slightly, squinting to see if it’s at the right angle. “There. See how it glows?”

She hums, pulling Danny back to lie in the grass. They’re in the park, looking up at the night sky as they wait for Tucker to join them. Ghost patrol was fast because–for once–Danny caught a break. It’s rare that they have the chance to just…relax together anymore. 

“Did you know that Venus was the luckiest roll in a dice game as well?”

Sam snorts as she stretches in the grass. “No, but that seems like some weird thing you’d know. Where’d you pick it up from?”

“Pandora.” Danny’s grin isn’t visible in the dark, but it leaks into his voice like sunlight on a rock. “She’s trying to teach me how to play.”

“How’s training going with her?”

“I’m learning how to use a sword and a spear. Which is a sentence I never thought I’d say in my life.”

“Danny.” Sam’s voice is dry. “You live with your parents. It’s not that far off, honestly.”

“Touche.”

The two lie in silence, broken only by the crash of bushes as Tucker joins them.

Overhead, Venus is rising.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

7 for lifeline (error/reaper/dream)?

this is making me pull my hair because idk how to write the song into the ship 😭😭😭

but i have to try anyway.....

7. easy - le sserafim

I could get hurt, but keep on walking, kiss me If it’s hard then I makе it easy Up on the stage, sparks fly off my body Pull up and I rip it up likе ballet Damn, I really make it look easy

error doesn’t want to be here, which is why he’s making a spectacle of himself. his strings lash out, carving jagged rifts into the fabric of space, each one bursting with glitchy sparks, distorting reality as they spread across the cracked sky.

“show-off,” reaper says, his voice thick with amusement as he leans on his scythe. “you know, not everyone’s impressed by your little fireworks.”

“good,” error growls, his strings crackling and twisting. “don’t need anyone to be impressed by this.”

reaper chuckles. “sure. that’s why you’re putting on a whole show instead of just sitting quietly and brooding like a normal world-destroyer.”

error’s next strike cuts deeper, the space above them trembling as a large chunk of the dimension crumbles into glitching static, revealing the dark void beyond. “i’m not here to ‘sit quietly,’ bone-bag,” he snaps. “if he’s gonna show up, he can see what he’s walking into.”

reaper grins, sharp and unbothered. “oh, he’ll see. just try not to burn yourself out before he gets here.”

before error can fire back, the golden shimmer alerting them of dream’s arrival spills into the fractured void. dream steps through the wreckage, his glowing aura muted but unmistakably bright against the chaos. his golden eyes scan the destruction, lingering briefly on the sparking edges of error’s rifts, before settling on the death god and the destroyer down below.

“so,” dream says, his voice guarded but sparking with awe. wisely, he stands away from the duo. “this is how you make an entrance.”

error snorts, crossing his arms as his strings vanish in a flick of his hands. “i don’t make entrances. i make exits.”

dream looks at reaper, clearly at a loss of what to say. the death god lets out a laugh, clearly entertained by what’s happening. “told you he’s dramatic.”

error glares at him. “shut it.”

dream directs his gaze at error. “i’ve heard a lot about you,” he says carefully, his tone torn between diplomatic politeness and genuine curiosity.

“bet you have,” error grunts, narrowing his eyes. “let me guess - ‘crazy,’ ‘dangerous,’ ‘a pain in the ass’?”

“reaper might’ve mentioned the last one,” dream replies, a flicker of amusement breaking through his guarded expression. he moves closer, but still keeping a respectable distance.

reaper laughs, the sound echoing in the empty space. “i told you he’s fun.”

error scowls, his strings flickering to life again, though they hang loosely at his sides. “if you think this is fun, you’ve got worse humor than i thought.”

dream watches the destroyer for a moment, eyeing the strings surrounding him. “i didn’t come here to fight you,” he says calmly. “i came because reaper said you were important to him. and if you’re important to him-” dream pauses, his voice softening, “-i’d like to understand why.”

error’s glare sharpens, but there’s a shadow of something – hesitation, maybe – that cracks through his prickly exterior. “you don’t need to understand me, flash bomb. i’m just here because he asked me to be.”

dream’s polite smile holds, ignoring the jab. “that’s a start.”

reaper’s grin widens, clearly entertained by the tension crackling between the two. “this is going better than i expected. error hasn’t tried to erase you out of existence yet.”

“yet,” error mutters, turning away, but the sharpness in his tone feels more defensive than hostile.

dream beams, his optimism unyielding. “then, i guess i’m making progress.”

[sa1808fi]

HEY WHO WANTS A FLUFFY EMMETSTYLE FIC

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO RN

(with a side of dangerstyle too)

[crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer]

WIP Word Game

Rules: you will be given a word. then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

Tagged by: I recently saw this in the Wings of Fire tag and decided to give it a go.

My word: cure

I'm just gonna jump around my WIPs until I find something I like. I'll write the letter first, then the title/fandom of the WIP the excerpt belongs to.

C - Mind What I Said, 2012 Avengers/Supernatural

Cold. The faintly incomprehensible sound of unfamiliar voices drifts through the haze, scratching unpleasantly at the corners of my mind. It’s cold. A chilling dampness seeps into the cracks of my existence and the stench of wet cardboard tinged with metal stings my nose. The surface beneath me hardens with each eon that passes, but my body is too heavy to consider moving and for a moment a comforting thought arises from somewhere deep within my subconscious. Ah. I’m dead, so no one will notice if I don’t get up. But that can’t be right. It’s not safe here. After a few tries, my eyes finally open and the room that steadily comes into view . . . is missing.

U - Strategy and A Sword, Prodigy Math Game

Usually she’d be saying not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but something about this felt too good to be true. It had to be. “Let’s hurry to the Academy and teach the Puppet Master a lesson!” Double ugh. The charm of the little fairy’s enthusiasm had since graduated to pestering every time she so much as thought about the Island Map. She heaved a sigh as her fingers curled around the Academy Amulet. “Put an old sock in it, Noot.” She had 46 of them now.

R - Stay Cool (It's Just A Kiss), Boueibu

Ryuu wished it could be that simple, that he could feel so secure and confident that everything would be okay, but the way it was so easy for even Yufuin-senpai and Kinugawa-senpai to pick petty fights with each other over nothing even if it was the influence of a monster was not reassuring. It had been that easy for Io to consider leaving him too and Io didn’t even have that excuse. But perhaps the worst realization of all was that the strength of their bond had been so great they’d been able to overcome the monster’s spell before the Love Shower… and yet Ryuu stood there feeling unchanged. Sure, he accepted and understood Io’s faults just as Io accepted and understood his, but it was hard not to wonder if this was a sign that maybe the breakdown of his own relationships was inevitable after all. “I’m gonna walk Komi home,” he decided. “I’ll meet up with you guys after.”

E - The Darkest Nights, Boueibu

Every evening for as long as they had been together, Goura always prepared dinner.

Your word (should you choose to accept it): heart

Tagging: @auniverseforgotten , @darth-salem-emperor-of-earth , @thatlittledandere , @koolkitty9 , @spacefinch , @fortune-maiden , @zenzenzence , @shadowmellow , @floweryuu , @nardaviel

As always, there’s no pressure to share and if I missed someone who wants to be included feel free to consider yourself also tagged~ <3

[t34-mt]

Did you keep working on the wiki?

I work on it when I have time / even want to, don't bother with asking me for updates much, i haven't done almost anything since last ask.

a reminder that this will never be a worldbuilding i do for others to see, but just my super personal playground i go into constantly. and that sometimes i share about in public here

i don't really care about having to deliver things for people eitherway, as rude as that may sound im not obligated to, it since its just a hobbie. watch me take years, if ill even have it on public anyways!

[mantisgodsdomain]

The Job Board system, which in terms of overseeing tends to fall somewhere between the Explorer's Association and the mail service, is a system that allows bugs across Bugaria to send off jobs to any bug who might take them. It is known primarily for its incredible efficiency at copying and posting jobs throughout Bugaria, as well as its ability to take down jobs that have been completed within a day of their fulfillment.

Just about any bug can post a mission through this system, with some light checks to make sure it's legitimate, and just about anyone can take a mission - with some caveats. The more difficult a mission is marked as, the more likely you are to need to show some proof of ability- occasionally very eclectic proof of ability. While an Explorer's Permit can allow you to shortcut almost all low-end requirements, anyone who isn't registered in the system will have to repeatedly prove aptitude for low-end jobs, which can get exceptionally annoying very fast, particularly as the Job Board and publicly accessible jobs tend to be almost exclusively to the low end of things.

Technically an extension of the Job Board system, the Bounty Board handles a lot of relatively high-paying jobs, often put up using communally-raised funds rather than a single person. While the Job Board gathers jobs of comparatively low importance, and allows them to be taken by anyone, the Bounty Board is specifically for jobs that are anticipated to be difficult enough to need a whole crew of bugs.

The requirements to run an outpost of a bounty board are significantly more rigorous than the standard job board, as applicants going after these jobs are much more rigorously vetted - an Explorer's Permit will often serve as a way to help you shortcut the line, putting all of your prior accomplishments in easy reach and allowing the certified offices that run these jobs to make an easy background check on you.

Alternatively, of course, some less legitimate venues can piggyback off the certification of an actual office, pretending to be another location and allowing you to shortcut the entire certification process to obtain the reward without having to prove your capability to do a job. Technically speaking, jobs taken in Doppel's tavern will show up as being taken from the bounty board office run by Utter - though this establishment doesn't technically have a physical location.

Unlike with a typical bounty board mission, you also get paid up front upon providing a specified part of the slain monster, rather than having to wait for the kingdom you're working in to certify the danger is gone before wiring you your reward. Also unlike with a typical bounty board mission, the house will take a certain cut of your reward. These venues may also take "unofficial" bounties - organized by parties who can't or won't go through the official venues to get a problem handled, or simply by people who are hunting for specific parts of a monster. You won't be tested as thoroughly before taking the job- but your client won't be, either.

[cloudwhisper23]

While falling into the past wasn't Mike's initial hope, it does force all three of them to face their past realities… Settling back in is rough for Cassidy, who remembers how alone she used to be. For Mike, it's like putting on a pair of gloves. It's almost too easy to be a mean older brother again. Charlie finally gets to hear her father sound happy again.

Maybe for now, that'll be enough for all three of them. But the threat of a killer looms over them all, and they still haven't remembered who he is or why he killed in the first place.

[buttdumplin]

It'd be nice to see Price be as desperate for a househusband as he seems to be for a wife

[scary-monsters]

well, i thought i had finished a starburster update but upon rereading it this morning i'm not fully happy with it.. feels a little rushed.. so i think i need to add a little bit more to it even though it's already nearing 5k 🤔 will likely have to leave off on a cliffhanger too LOL