#but the angst and whump just feels easier sometimes

[sa1808fi]

HEY WHO WANTS A FLUFFY EMMETSTYLE FIC

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO RN

(with a side of dangerstyle too)

[wayfayrr]

Alright, I wonder how long an ask can be. U asked for it!😝

Also, if u were curious, since I’ve only played Botw and most but not all of totk, 98% of the time my yandere self-aware ideas will be of Wild/Tears.

How does Wild/Tears feel about the fairies? Like, is he embarrassed that reader has to watch that? Does he worry what they think? Or is he just like “eh, I can’t control their upgrade animations, sorry”. Then how does he feel when reader thinks it’s kinda cute/funny? I don’t want to traumatize the poor guy, but I must admit watching the level four animation is slightly funny bc I feel so bad for him. And in level three when he covers his face is cute.

What about when he just has to sit there for 10 hrs his time? Listen, I wanna upgrade the darn champion’s tunic but the stupid upgrades require 2 of each farmable dragon Zelda item. And I couldn’t find her for so long it was annoying. Ik she follows a certain path but even so u have to just keep following the path hoping u eventually run into her. So I just decided to farm an item, then sit there for 10 minutes r time until she’s farmable again. So how does Tears feel? Am I wasting his time? Is he bored? If he had an animation for it would he fall asleep? Would he glare at me for making him sit there for 10 hours? Plus, ima be honest. For those 10 minutes of me just waiting, I’ll usually scroll on my phone. I’m not gonna stare at the tv for 10 minutes, sorry lol. So is he mad that I’m not paying attention to him and stuff?

What about if I laugh at him? Alright, I don’t do it That much lol, just if I make an embarrassing mistake w him and he looks a little funny. Would he be embarrassed? Mad? ….?? I think he’s cuuute! It’s fiiine, right…?😭

Thinking about my one ask where I used him for science, totally not using bombs on him for any other reason! Anyway, so I have to admit, his overheating animation I like. I’m all for angst/whump w characters. Whenever I read AO3, 98% of the stories r angst/whump for Wild/Tears. Sicfic? Yes please! Nightmares? Yes please! Psychological torture? Sign me up! There was this one fic someone wrote about Wild being hit by a curse that trapped him in his memory next time he unlocked one, so he had to watch it over and over and over. The rest of the chain had to save him. Tho, if it makes u feel any better, I only like happy endings, no open ended ones, no sad ones, or character deaths. Nope. Fairy tale where they all lived happily ever after please and thank u lol. So anyway, I got sidetracked lol. My question was, would he be mad if I just put the game on the clothes menu when he’s overheating so he doesn’t lose any hearts over it, just watching him do it for a minute or two?

Sometimes I need to wear like one clothing item per outfit so I can use like 3 different abilities. For example, maybe bandana to climb faster, gloom shirt for an extra heartbreak, and snow pants bc it’s freezing? And sometimes I’ll complain that he looks ugly, well, not him, but the outfit, and say that I wish I could make him look cuter but I need these abilities atm. Does he hate the outfits like I do? Does he care more about function? Does he hate that I care so much?

How does he feel not being able to talk? Like literally every other character can talk except him. And he can’t do anything by himself. Everything he does is either a programmed animation or an action by my controller. I bet he has a lot he wants to say but can’t. Does he ever worry that if he were to get out and see me, what if he couldn’t talk to me??

🐰

yeah it's always a lot easier to think about the links you know better for stuff like this ngl, so I don't blame you for sticking to them. plus wild and tears are just fun too right? :3c

so starting from the top -

I think the fairies are a touchy subject for him, if you like the cutscenes then he can set his discomfort about being picked up and kissed somewhat - don't get me wrong he doesn't enjoy it but for your happiness he'll do it as many times as you make him (although, unless he finds a way to override the controls then it's not really like he has a choice in it) he'll make notes about how you like him acting in certain ways though - I mean if you like seeing him as a blushy mess covering his face in the game then you'll like it more when he's doing it in person right? Please don't make him recreate the level four one though.

To be honest, there's nothing that you could do to him that he could ever consider a waste of time. would he prefer you to be actively engaged? sure. Is he bothered if you're still there but just waiting for a bit for the dragon to recharge? Not really, yeah he'd prefer to be doing more, but at the same time it gives him a chance to observe and to get more of a grasp of how the game works while it's on and running compared to when he's robbed of his body and is left a being floating in a desolate void of numbers and machine code. He can relax and still have feeling and eyes on you and your eyes on him every now and then even though it's not as often as he'd like. as for the time? I think once he became aware he stopped running on hyrules time, so it's only ten minutes for him too. Ten minutes that granted feel longer than that cause of the scenery, but still only ten minutes. if it were a situation where he was still in a hyrule then he'd be further detached from anyone else. (my thoughts are if the game is left in standby on the switch then it's all still loaded and the links have free reign but if it's closed and you're playing another switch game then it tosses them into the abyss)

laughing at him for being cute is all good but please don't make fun of him ;-; he's only doing what you make him do after all!

I need to write more whump and hurt/comfort for tears actually, thanks for the reminder Well, he's not getting hurt by it -soooo he's kinda a bit deluded into thinking that it's another show of love for him. You simply love all the sounds that he's making <3 (and I don't blame you, his whimpers are actually just so adorable?????) You care so much that you're not letting him get hurt for your happiness!!!!

I think he takes it as a compliment that you care so much about how his outfits look, he wants to look his best for you too!!! If he could he'd find a way to stack the different bonuses so that you could treat him like a proper dress up doll without having to worry about the environment and how it impacts him :c he doesn't care what outfit he 'wears' cause it's not like he's actually wearing and interacting with it. it's glued to him like a second skin so whether you're keeping him shirtless or putting him in the thickest shirt possible there's no difference to him just don't mod him so that he's no longer himself please

The fact that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to communicate with you is something that he worries about alot, not even just not having a voice. He'd be fine with being mute if he can write or sign to you, hell he could probably delude himself into being fine that he couldn't do that if he could move freely and hold you. what scares him the most is the idea that he'd be like a puppet cut, that if he gets out that without the code acting as his strings he falls limp like a puppet cut loose. that's what's horrifying to him. anything else he could learn to live with, but that potential keeps him from making any rash movements where the cost could outweigh the benefits. I like to think that out of desperation, (this goes for sky in the fic too) they stole another characters voicebank from another game :) one that speaks your native tongue preferably, but at the very least one that shares a language you speak

[anarchy-and-piglins]

hi yes hello i heard human!techno and nonhuman!everyone else and came running... whether it's osmp, space au, vampire au (always love rereading tasting your blood means i love you chapters if I forget something) i love this trope it's always so good.

Anyway! Human techno headcanons! I like to think that since a lot of the others living in the commune have claws, they sometimes accidentally nick techno with their claws occasionally (ie, they're really excited and grab his arm a little too tightly *cough tommy) and so he's got all these tiny little scars. And eventually someone notices and asks him about it, but techno doesn't want them to feel bad so he kinda stumbles/lies through the answer because he knows they genuinely mean no harm. Small angst but yk.

Now, say, the commune gets attacked. Some flee, others stay to fight. What's the best way to get the hybrids to stop fighting and draw the others out of hiding? Capture the soft fleshy human and use him as leverage, of course! Cue a small stab or sprain to techno in front of the commune folks to remind them how weak humans can be and how precarious the situation is. Cue the rescue team finding techno tired, hurt, and very reliant on their help to escape. Cue techno thinking of himself as a liability to the safety of the commune and, after his rescue, attempting to leave to keep them safe. (it doesn't work ofc, phil notices almost instantly that one of his fledglings friends is missing and tracks his down and reassures him of his value.)

I'm kinda surprised I haven't written any of these yet considering how much I rotate the trope in my brain but. high school. Oh well.

It's the best trope, the tastiest trope, MY MOST BELOVED TROPE!

The claw thing is so fun. Reminds me of people who have cats and are just covered in scratches all the time hehe. But it's great for a little bit of angst too. Any type of whump having to do with hurting a friend on accident is up my alley. And I can imagine that it's so easy to forget how vulnerable Techno is. Sure, some of the other hybrids have very specific weaknesses too but they seem easier to remember somehow - everybody knows Niki needs to be in water and everybody is automatically careful with Sneeg since he's so tiny. But for some reason with Techno it slips their minds (perhaps also because Techno tries very hard to seem like he doesn't have any weaknesses) that he's rather squishy and has no special powers or hybrid biology to protect himself.

I'd love to read a fic where one or multiple of the other members of the commune accidentally hurt Techno through their hybridness and get to feel really guilty. And obviously Techno would never hold it against them.

AND YES, somebody else using Techno against them is also very fun. I don't think Techno would much enjoy having it pointed out that he's the 'weak link'. He trains so much to overcompensate for all the abilities he's naturally lacking. But his family will knock some sense into him.

I'd eat up either idea really, these are wonderful!

[logicgunn]

🛒, ✨, 💋, 🎶, 🛠, 🍦, 💖, ❌, 🎃, 🎨, 🦅, 🤗, 🎉, 🤯, 💥, 🤭, and 🥰, please?

Thanks for the ask! Phew! *stretches fingers*

💋&🎶answered here!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Coldness. Domesticity. Whump. Challenging gender roles (according to Bun).

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I've gotten skilled at characterisation and turning "s/he would not fucking say/do that" into something plausible.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

Online: Microsoft Word

Offline: Libre Office.

I am open to suggestions if anyone uses anything other than these and GDocs, which I tried and hated.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Cinnamon Bun (The Language of Love) for sure!

💖 What made you start writing?

Time, boredom, depression and watching Stargate Atlantis for the first time and catching feels for McShep.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I can't imagine ever writing an omegaverse fic. I would have said high school/collage AUs, but I did write a Laura & Rodney teen fic that had a high school setting. Probably a one off though.

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I have written a halloween fic, a christmas fic, and another christmas fic. Holidays are good inspo. I think I have a couple of unfinished valentine's wips in a folder somewhere I should look at.

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

There's some very cool podfic covers of some of my fics that rock my socks!

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Shorter ones just happen, but if they start to expand or I already know they're multichap or a series then I definitely make a plan. Plans change a lot though because sometimes when I write it goes off in an unexpected direction.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Just write. A crap draft can be edited, a blank page can't. Start with the idea that's burning in your mind. Expand on it later, in both directions if you want.

There's a tumblr post going around that says if you are stuck in a scene, go back a few lines, the problem is there, I've found that to be true more often than not.

Sometimes a story is just a single scene, and that's enough. I wrote an OFMD fic that I intended to be a 5+1, but ended up posting as a oneshot instead and it was better for that choice than it ever could have been if I'd struggled on.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Hard to say. I get immmense satisfaction in finishing a fic. Sharing it is nervewracking, but if a few people kudos I'm thrilled. We all want validation on some level. 10 kudos and I stop worrying!

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Genres aren't so much a problem for me, I'm up for most things. Some are easier than others, like angst and whump and fluff, but there's nothing I think of as a struggle. The things I struggle with a more grammatical than thematic.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

I get asked that a lot so I wrote a thing on my AO3 page.

"Concrit

If it can be fixed in five minutes, let me know in the comments. If I'm skirting the edge of something without the delicate touch it requires, please DM me, I only bite bigots. If you hate everything I've written from present tense to an au setting to queer themes, I might not be the writer for you..."

Most of the "concrit" I've had has been bigotry, and I'm sure everyone already knows my tolerence for that. If something's posted, I'm pretty much done with it, except when I go back and reread it after posting and find a dozen typos that did not exist in my final draft!

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

My most used additional tags are fluff, post-apocalypse and survival, so make of that what you will!

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

Absolutely!

[bathomet-writes]

fic request/rules masterpost!!

i figure i should probably list out what i will/won't write and other guidelines, as well as organize all my fics so check them out under the cut ⬇⬇

requests: CLOSED

ALSO i think i've decided to write mostly sfw...just bc it's tumblr lol so if you want to check out more of my nsfw fics, head over to my ao3!!

‘leave the door open’ is my fic series on there that gets more 18+ around part 6 so if ur a minor pls use caution, and i would prefer not to interact with minors on here about it?? i’m usually p good about tagging stuff on tumblr and ao3 so just be aware..

if u feel uncomfortable interacting with me bc of my age (26) and the fact that i write nsfw sometimes (all the characters are adults in those fics) feel free to block/unfollow/etc…i want this to be as safe a space as possible!

i'm still figuring out everything so these may change/be updated periodically...

WILL DO:

romance, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, etc.

x reader fics (human, mutant, yokai, etc.)

headcanons/imagines (shorter and easier to write than full-length fics lol)

i prefer to do GN!reader (for the sake of keeping it gender neutral and also for my own comfort)

fic exchanges/gift fics...👀👀

rottmnt, 2012 tmnt, bayverse

i’m pretty comfortable writing most characters (the turts, april, etc.) but feel free to ask abt others!

WON'T DO:

AUs (this is a soft no, i’d be fine doing future/kraang invasion timeline stuff tho)

familial readers (sorry, this is just a personal preference thing…🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️)

OC or canon x canon

intense angst/whump fics

tc3st

if u send me a fic request, please be as detailed/specific as possible (what kind of fic, plot, character traits, personalities, etc.)

it might take me anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks to complete a request (depending on the length and how busy i am) 🥴🤙

if for whatever reason i don’t think ur fic request aligns with my rules/guidelines, i probably just won’t do it. i unfortunately can’t write every request i get…sorry!!

also if anybody makes fanart i think i would die from happiness

FICS:

raphael:

stakeout (part 1 of 'leave the door open') 2 fast 2 furriest (part 2 of 'leave the door open') prom (red edition) a view to a thrill relax

mikey:

candy hearts and paper flowers prom (orange edition) it's so easy

donnie:

prom (purple edition) stayin' alive science, baby! confessions (2012!donnie)

leo:

prom (blue edition) ba-dum-tss

HEADCANONS:

siblings!! (platonic turtles x younger sibling reader) plus-size reader headcanons (separate romantic 2012!turtles x GN! reader) cereal headcanons (not 'x reader' just stupid hcs about how the turtles eat cereal lol)

feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any questions about these rules!! i love writing and interacting with u guys 💖💖💖💖

[andorerso]

"Sunbeam", "Waves" and/or "Wet Paint"?

sunbeam: don't know why my mind went to angst with a prompt that sounds so happy, but I think this would be a short canon-verse whump fic, where Jyn has been captured on a mission by some local gang who keeps her prisoner for a few weeks... underground in a dank cavern where no sunlight reaches in and the only source of light comes from the guards. sometimes. yeah, knowing Jyn's trauma with the darkness, I'm very mean for this. but of course, Cassian eventually finds and rescues her, and she's not injured but she's badly dehydrated and malnourished after weeks in there, so she almost thinks she's hallucinating the whole thing as he takes her hand and helps her stumble outside. it's only then, when those first rays of sunshine hit her face and she looks at Cassian, so bright with the sun behind him, that she realizes this is real and he found her. and she can finally feel safe.

waves: beach fic! I understand the headcanon that they'd be averse to beaches after Scarif, but I personally always liked the idea that they reclaim it. maybe they're undercover tourists on a mission but they already assessed the location and have a few hours before their meeting with the contact so they're just passing time... there's a beautiful ocean nearby and they decide to take a walk on the shore, and they're both a little apprehensive at first, both thinking about Scarif, but not saying anything. but they're pretending to be newlywed tourists on their honeymoon so they're acting carefree and happy and enamored, and eventually it gets easier. it's different than it was on Scarif, there are people around, kids screaming and splashing in the water, music streaming from somewhere, a dozen little stands along the shore selling food and drinks and souvenirs, and most importantly: no death star on the horizon. so they sit down in the sand and watch the waves crash against the shore and make new happier memories.

wet paint: a quick fluffy established relationship fic. modern au. Cassian recently lost his job, and finding a new one has been a pain in the ass (same buddy). but he's going a little stir crazy cooped up inside the house so he started the project of renovating their little home. after all, there's a lot of things they always wanted to do but never had the time yet. so Jyn says nothing when he plants tomatoes in the garden or repaints the walls in each room. she says nothing when he repaints the doors to match their new color scheme. she's glad he's occupying himself because she knows how much he hates sitting still. but then she comes home one day from work, excitedly rambling about something cool that happened earlier, getting herself a huge plate of whatever Cassian's cooked for them that evening. meanwhile he's been trying to interrupt her to say something too but she's so caught up in her story that she just barrels on without realizing and sits down, taking a bite of her food. and then looking around, she finally notices that something's different in the kitchen, but Cassian's now really quiet, watching her with a pained expression. "did you paint the chairs?" she asks, and he winces before answering, "yeah. paint's still wet."

[iamthecomet]

-makes a small nest in your ask box like I am a bird or some sort of small hole dwelling rodent-

First, hello, hope you're doing well~!

Second...

What fic trope can't you get enough of? Like, are you a fan of the good ol' coffee shop AU? Or do you like the "and there was only one bed?" cliche?

Stuff like that.

Third; Do you have a headcanon you consider to be largely self indulgent and/or distinctly, "That's my shit." when you encounter it?

And a bonus fourth question, because it sprang to mind last minute; What do you think of hurt/comfort fics and/or sick fics involving characters being taken care of?

-offers you some acorns I stored for winter-

Hi, hello! I hope your next is comfy, do you need an extra pillow or blanket, or some...hey are those twigs? I'm doing well. Busy. I feel like I've been going non-stop since sometime in November but things should be evening out now (I hope). I love forced proximity. "There was only one bed." "They're stranded and it's freezing". "We're stuck together so we have to get used to it." I especially like forced proximity when the two people are pretending to hate each other. I am a slut for a good enemies to lovers. I have no idea if you know anything about the Six of Crows book duology but basically the beginning of Nina and Matthias' relationship (not a spoiler) hits every single one of my tope buttons SO GOOD. I also will never complain about "we've been best friends our whole lives but I love you, but if I tell you it'll fuck everything up". I just love romance tropes where it's always a will-they won't-they. *dreamy sigh*. For your third question: Shadow Swiss. I haven't written very much about him but I am *very* obsessed with him. And there are a handful of others who are also *very* into him and it just makes me SO happy when I see shadow Swiss content. He's so special to me. I love hurt/comfort and sick fics. Emphasis on the hurt, always. I am a big angst/pain slut. Always have been. Every original story I have every written has been plauged with whump, and sick, and pain, and so SO SO many physical injuries, and trauma. I am INTO it. I write it less for Ghost because frankly, smut is easier (and more popular). Whenever I write angst/hurt/whump/whatever I tend to want to let it get long. To let it fester. And then maybe to just never resolve any pain because life isn't neat and tidy and I like when fiction isn't either. Thank you for the questions, Lamp! And the acorns!! *Shoves a bunch of acorns into my mouth like a little chipmunk and scurries away*

[aelaer]

🔫

Another whump icon prompt filled! And this is the last of my pre-written fics before my first poll, so now I *have* to work on figuring out how to write Loki...

Also a fill for @badthingshappenbingo! The bad thing happening to the protagonist is pretty light, *but* it's still a not-terribly-fun thing, so I figure it works out.

I was trying to write something else for this for ages (read: almost 3 years), but it never came out the way I wanted it to, and I still had this ancient prompt to fill so I figured I'd try not to make a huge story out of it and just do some writing exercises to get back into it. And the normal stuff wasn't working so I flipped the angst on its head to something a bit more BAMFy. Still a bad thing happening though. 

The MacGuffin here is pretty simple but hey, it works.

Lightning Before The Thunder Rating: Gen No pairings

On occasion, Doctor Strange still had to do mundane, normal-people things. He still needed to buy food and even magic wasn't quite as effective as the dry cleaners two blocks away for his suit, whenever he needed to wear it for whatever occasion presented itself.

Today it was the bank. The New York Sanctum still sat in the city it was named after, which meant that every year property taxes were due. And sometime between the Blip and now, the automatic payment to the city on the Sanctum's bank account stopped going through despite nothing changing, which meant Stephen had to go talk to someone to get it fixed. He figured it'd be easier to do it in person than try to navigate the menus in the bank's phone system and never ending hold times that characterized every customer service center after the Blip.

Despite his rather unfortunate infamy that came with his involvement with the Infinity Stones and the last battle against Thanos, he wasn't recognized nearly as often as, say, Tony Stark or Steve Rogers once were. In casual wear people rarely recognized him, and it was only once he gave his name that recognition lit up in stranger's eyes. He was thankful for the relative anonymity.

Stephen wasn't sure if said anonymity was a blessing or a curse when four armed robbers stormed the bank five minutes into his appointment. On one hand, they may have shot him for it if they thought he was a threat.

On the other hand, maybe that would have meant that the security guard wouldn't have been shot.

Each second of calculation felt like a minute. He could go immediately on the offensive and attack them, but their guns were pointed at clerks and patrons as they shouted for everyone to get down. They had already shot someone and the man was bleeding heavily.

He had a life to save first. He needed to play doctor—and hostage—before he could do anything else.

Stephen crawled to the security guard even as the robbers shouted orders across the building. He shed his outer shirt and pressed it against the security guard's bleeding shoulder. When he cried out in pain, one of the gunmen turned to him. 

"The fuck you doing? Get on the ground!" He turned the barrel at him. 

"I'm a doctor," Stephen said, voice even. He'd certainly faced worse, though he was really regretting not bringing the Cloak with him. "Let me help him."

The man hesitated, but another spoke up as he addressed the majority of the people by the counters. "Stay on the fucking ground and y'all live, right? Just stay there. No phones!"

That seemed to be enough for the gunman focused on Stephen. "Stay there," he ordered.

Stephen complied. Underneath his blood-soaked dress shirt he silently applied subtle healing magic to constrict blood flow from the wound, the glow barely going through the cloth. The security guard frowned at what would have been an unusual, warm feeling.

"What…"

"I'm a doctor," Stephen repeated. The blood flow was slowing down. He glanced over his shoulder to gauge the situation. Once he heard sirens outside and the gunmen were separated, he could act.

The security guard winced. "Is it—supposed to feel like that?" He glanced at his shoulder with a grimace that twisted into a confused frown as he caught some of the glow from underneath Stephen's shirt. "What the—"

"My name," he cut him off, words soft yet sharp, "is Doctor Stephen Strange. Do you understand?"

The man's eyes lit up in recognition. His gaze went beyond him to the action in the background. "Can you—can you help—"

"Everything will be fine," Stephen reassured him. "Just concentrate on breathing."

"Hey! No talking!" It seemed one of the robbers noticed their whispers. Stephen glanced up to see a gun being waved in his general direction, which was more annoying than frightening if he was to be entirely honest. Then again, his line of work had rather desensitized him, perhaps to a rather alarming degree. He wouldn't be able to get a shield out fast enough to stop a bullet.

Hmm. Were there spells out there that could? Probably. It was physical damage, so those that held against that may hold up.

His silence seemed to appease the gunman enough to get him to back off—or maybe it was the sirens finally at the building. Good. It would take a couple minutes for them to set up a perimeter, then he would act.

Stephen's chance came soon enough. The gunmen were split now with only two in the main foyer, and one of the two was wandering to the far end of the room to peek down the halls. Great.

He moved the security guard's hand to his wounded shoulder. "Press as hard as you can," he muttered. When the man did so, Stephen slipped his sling ring out of his pocket.

The first gunman was out in a blink. With one gesture Stephen tore the gun from the man's hands, scattering it to the other side of the bank. In the next the man fell through a portal that deposited him on the stairs of the building outside with barely a second to shout.

Still, his buddy heard the brief commotion, which worked perfectly for Stephen. He came from around the corner at a quick walk. "Jerry?"

That gunman suffered the same fate as Jerry. 

The bank employees and clients were staring at him now, naturally. With the other two robbers in the back room, Stephen felt it was safe enough for him to stand without anyone else getting hurt.

"Stay there," he told the other hostages. "I'll be right back." He strolled his way into the back where the other two robbers were.

They weren't even facing him when he approached. Disarming them and placing a portal under them almost felt like cheating. So it wasn't even two minutes later that Stephen was back in the front of the building. "All four of them have been deposited outside," he said to the person that looked like she was a manager. "Call the authorities and let them know it's only civilians within the building now, and that we need an ambulance." 

At her startled nod, he went back to the wounded security guard to see how he was holding up. "Medics will be here soon," he told him. "You'll be just fine."

"Thank—thank you."

"Don't mention it."

As he heard the front doors open a few minutes later, Stephen realized that he probably couldn't just slip away as he would have preferred to after giving the paramedics a summary. The civilians would definitely point his way, which meant he'd have to talk to the police.

Ugh. There went the rest of his day.

[ru5t]

knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier !

– BASICS.

♡ NAME: Hannah

♡ PRONOUNS: she/her

♡  AGE: 25+

♡  TIME ZONE: CST (GMT -5)

–THREE FACTS.

♡ I moderate a(n overw.atch) twitch channel/community! It's good fun and very dear to me but also sooooo so frustrating, sometimes.

♡ When I was little I was convinced I was going to grow up to become a veterinarian. I do not think the level of schooling or the uhhhhh amount of strong stomach it takes is actually for me.

♡ I strongly suspect I have an anxiety disorder and ADHD(? or a similar symptom set) but have no official diagnoses. At any rate, executive dysfunction you bitch.

–EXPERIENCE.

♡   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): I have been on tumblr since 2011 but I've been storytelling/rping basically since like. ... You know how most kids act out their imaginative play? I did a looooooooottttt of "explaining" (/narrating, whatever you want to call it) and very little physical playing-things-out. Yes, I know what that is a common early indicator of. I'm unpacking that one shhhhh.

♡   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: uhhhh paper (as in i'd pass a notebook back and forth with school friends), IMVU, dA, various dms, twitter, forums, tumblr, a chatroom i forgot the name of we'd use for tumblr 'events', discord, wire

♡   BEST EXPERIENCE: Actually just the experience of rp in general. I have learned a lot through writing and the people who gave me grace in the process of it.

–MUSE PREFERENCES.

♡   MASCULINE OR FEMININE: I don't think I have a preference, per se? But I do seem to gravitate toward guy canons, whereas my OC roster tends to be waaaay more fluid and diverse, but I don't think there's any particular reason for this? Just the pattern of characters who appeal to me tend to be dudes in popular media, I guess? I did almost write Liz from Hellb.oy and Nomi from Sens.e8, in addition to the other canon ladies I have on the multi+Kiri's blog.

♡  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: I actually kind of like. what I will call exploring? You put two characters in a box. Sometimes you shake it, or put a blanket in there, but mostly you just.... see what happens. Also tho I'm the fluff queen ♥ Good angst/whump has to come from somewhere and go somewhere else, I don't like to force it or just throw it around without reason or consequence, if that makes sense? And I like smut in theory but I don't have a lot of practice and my comfort level is a verrry narrow ledge I'm working on building up better, because genuinely it seems fun and interesting.

♡   PLOTS OR MEMES: I enjoy a little bit of bg plotting but also sometimes just really want to completely wing it and feel out the chemistry before committing to anything. Once we have a ground floor I like to build (and spiral)!!! I struggle with doing a bunch of memes when there's no floor to stand on, it starts to get really challenging in an un-fun way, and I feel like it's repetitive and uninteresting to write and to read. If a dynamic never has footing it can never evolve, y'know? Gotta give me something, something has to stick at some point.

♡   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: No preference! Even when I start out 'short' I find I often end up unspooling into longer stuff but it doesn't have to I'm just wordy. I don't care if I consistently get shorter stuff back, as long as it suits the like. Yes, and. of it all. As long as there's something to work forward from I'm chillin!

♡   BEST TIME TO WRITE: I don't have a conscious preference but I do seem to have more success in early morning hours. No idea what that's about.

♡ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Sometimes. A lot of them get teeny tiny bits and pieces of my views or opinions. I have never felt more Seen by a show than when Luke Pat.terson ghost-apparitioned into my life, even if his One Thing is not my One Thing, but we don't have to unpack that. Me 'n Henry have some childhood traumas in common (except he lives in a fairytale where he gets a thing I don't get) but I don't know that he's particularly like me. Maddy did super duper on a technicality start out as a form of self insert, but it's complicated because also super duper on a technicality so did her mom (who actually existed first! which is rare. Normally I build center-out but this time it was a generation back and Tech just sort of happened, which was crazy and fun), and they both really migrated away from that sooo quickly that it's weird to me to think that was ever even technically true. In the long run Maddy got more of 'me' than Mayhem ever did but it has always been in a hyperbolic and/or metaphorical way. She's definitely grown with me, which has been an Experience and a half. All of them, by virtue of being written by me, are subject to my sense of humor in the narrative parts of the writing, whether they would think it's funny or not.

[elliesgaymachete]

ooo fic asks!!! 3, 10, 14, 17, 36, 37, 43, and 71! that's a lot so feel free to take your time and answer whenever you have the spoons!

Ahh it’s so many, thank you!

3 - already answered!

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up - Imogen blinks, unsure of what just changed between them. All she wants is to hold onto this moment a little bit longer before things go back to their weird version of normal.

14 - already answered!

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) - i like to write the most bare bones, shitty draft, just to get the basic words and ideas down. Like just a full page of snippets of dialogue and two word sentences. And then later when i go back and fill in the rest, it’s a little easier because I already drew the lines and now i get to color it in!

36. How do you write kissing scenes? - i black out for a sec and then don’t remember writing them when i come to. Actually though i’m not sure, when it comes to things like kissing scenes i try not to think about it too much because when I think about it too much i get bogged down in how to describe it lol

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter? - usually I outline beforehand and when I do that, I also plan the chapter breaks! It’s easier to distinguish chapters when you’re looking at the big picture. But also sometimes once I start writing things change around and I might move a couple scenes between chapters and I just let it happen. My outlines are just always evolving as I’m writing lol

43. Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person? - i like angst with a happy ending. So i’ll put characters through shit sometimes, but it always pays off in the end! I think i wrote a full angst no happy ending fic once and i made myself cry and i was like never again

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.? - honestly I just keep my outline as a working document so it can evolve with the story! If it’s for something original, i’ll list out characters/descriptions so i can keep track of them. If it’s a HUGE original world, i like to use world anvil to keep track of lore and characters and things!

[earmo-imni]

okay but you having a you that goes on continuous adventures throughout the Favorite Fictional Worlds is AWESOME. That sounds like a blast. I am never in any of my daydreams. I'm not about to inflict situations upon myself lol. I DO however badly voice act a line I'm making my characters say until the emotion is right. Much to the horror of everyone else who lives with me, I'm sure. I write a TON of dialogue and the thought that the readers don't understand the exact voice I want the character to say things in... and that I barely comprehend that voice myself... brutal. Don't make me voice act my own characters I swear to god. It's just everyone talking in different flavors of my voice in there.

Yeah, it's unbelievable how much mileage I've also gotten about Seven Deadly Sins as compared to the other fandoms I've been in. Sometimes I just don't want to pluck the characters out of the canon and put them in my head, because I feel like that would disturb the beautiful creation, so I don't daydream about those fandoms at all. I basically have like three main universes, the longest of which I've had and have been working on regularly since the fourth grade. VERY interesting story to go along with that one, but it's the kind that you CANNOT tell unprompted, so I'm waiting for an appropriate time to entertain the Internet Strangers with my strange childhood book experience.

Anyway! Happy to be following you now, I'll have a blast looking around at your blog :D

You are so freaking nice, thank you!

I inflict SO many situations on myself, partly because a lot of the time I find it easier to roleplay myself-but-slightly-to-the-left than to roleplay one of my ocs, but also because I legitimately enjoy my big crazy universe and also it’s just fun to be like “Yeah, I’m best friends with Meliodas and a member of Fairy Tail and a companion of the Doctor and also grown up Gamzee’s my moirail now cause I saved him from going brainwashed-and-crazy and also I fixed the MCU! It doesn’t suck anymore! The plot holes are gone!” It’s just fix-it fics and self-indulgent “girl fell into Middle-earth” style fics all day long. Unfortunately for alternate me I very much enjoy whump and angst and hurt/comfort so alternate me goes through. So much. Luckily alternate me is immortal due to shenanigans (the same way as Meliodas, essentially, except the resurrection time is way faster and also there’s no losing emotions), so they can survive everything. Unluckily this means I can kill them as many times as I want. Angst! 😃

(Meliodas may have had to essentially shake me by the shoulders and go “I know you want to help me and I appreciate it but I would like to not have to watch you die for me repeatedly because I see you as a friend and it hurts to watch you die regardless of whether you come back or not” whoops)

I also voice act all my characters (I actually find it significantly easier to keep track of my story if I speak it out loud) and boy howdy is it awkward when a family member comes down the stairs or I’m out on a late-night walk and suddenly realize Oh! There’s a person there! Hearing everything I say! And I sound insane!

And saaaaaaame with the problem of everyone speaking in different flavors of my voice!!! There’s a few characters that I have a pretty good grasp of their voice, and some that have very distinct ways of talking (Gamzee my beloved. Also literally everyone from Middle-earth) that make it easier to do them. But yeah, I FELT that.

I don’t usually write stuff down, I just let it exist in my head and hope I remember it next time I feel like playing in the sandbox. My au that you found is only like. The second thing I’ve actually tried to write down as a coherent narrative since my first attempts at fanfic when I was 15 (the other thing being my Tolkien OC Mavwin’s story. It is. Not even a full first draft. Oh boy.). I have a bunch of notes for a rewrite of an old fixit fic for a musical I like, and a bunch of notes on some Harry Potter OCs and significantly less notes on a Fairy Tail OC. Also a largely-unused sideblog for my multiverse-travelling daydream. (Don’t look yet, it needs some rewriting and a whole lot of updating.)

I am very curious about this world you can’t speak of unprompted, so consider this your prompt lol. I promise it can’t be any worse than what I’ve read/come up with/listened to my best friend explain about their OCs (I swear she’s worse than I am about giving her characters trauma 😂)

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

[ID: A colourful collection of icons and images related to tumblr, each animated to switch between two angles, surrounding the words 'tumblr 2022 My Year In Review' in front of an orange grid background. End ID.]

I posted 649 times in 2022

That's 649 more posts than 2021!

66 posts created (10%)

583 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-can-even-burn-salad

@suspicious-whumping-egg

@redwingedwhump

@starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@verkja

I tagged 611 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#whump - 88 posts

#whump writing - 82 posts

#fantasy whump - 75 posts

#glass shards - 32 posts

#whump art - 30 posts

#writing things - 23 posts

#🤣🤣🤣 - 22 posts

#writing - 20 posts

#starlit plays tag games - 19 posts

#hidden depths - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i've adopted this story ✨️ as such my first speculative thought was whether cyra would go with adair when (emphasis) he eventually escapes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hidden Depths: Masterlist

Genre: Fantasy whump

This story is set in my fantasy world of Valysii. It follows an eighteen-year-old young man named Resh, who essentially sold himself into indentured servitude in return for assistance from the Crown to save his sick sister.

Unfortunately for him, he works for the crown prince, Marcus, who is a sadistic bastard. He finds this out soon enough, but not soon enough to matter, if you catch my drift :D

This story is told in dual POV.

See the full post

9 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#4

Chapter 8 ~ No way out

Hidden Depths

Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next

Genre: Fantasy whump

Written per Whumptober 2022 prompts

CW: flashback of attempted noncon, panic attack, mentioned death, mentioned murder, angst, failed escape, buried alive, magic whump, captivity

WC: 4499

See the full post

10 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#3

Last Line Tag

Thanks for the tag nanashi23!

RULES ARE SIMPLE. Share the last lines of... (whatever last lines means to you) . What you've written, last thing you wrote, last line said by a character. Surprise me. : )

This snippet is from a new story featuring Nykim from my fantasy whump Hidden Depths :D

~~

"Her," Nykim said shortly. The early morning light was nearly blocked out by the dense canopy of green from above, so he was forced to slow his pace or risk tripping over a root or fallen branch. That wouldn't do, not even in front of Brant.

Brant shook his head, the motion barely visible. "Her." Brant's tone was full of disbelief. "I still can't believe it."

"What, is it so hard to believe a female could be as vicious as she is?" Nykim asked softly, infusing his voice with a quiet sort of venom. He wouldn't tolerate any disrespect, even when she was gone.

"No, of course not," Brant was quick to say. "It's just, I fuckin trained him. I mean, her. Known her as long as you, and never would've guessed."

Nykim rolled his eyes, then came to a stop before the first wall. There were three of the fuckers, with only one gate, patrolled by the royal guard at all hours. Too tall, too smooth, to climb, but Nykim didn't have that problem.

~~

*grumble fucking tags grumble* Tagging people makes me nervous 😅

Tagging: i-can-even-burn-salad - since I'm not responding to your tag lol verkja @littleperilstories (if you want to of course!) also, butyoumissedmyheart - if you'd like to (like really, feel free to ignore this tag lol), sometimes sharing small pieces is easier than posting a whole chapter :)

There, I did it. *phew*

15 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#2

I have 3 more chapters and 5 more days in October. I had given up on completing whumptober last week when I got stuck on my last posted chapter. I'm still slightly behind, but it's doable. It is doable. I'm over here cheering myself on. You can do it, anna! :D

25 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Whump Intro

Hi, hello! 

Um, I’ve been avoiding this intro bc I am a shy awkward hermit that usually just lurks and likes stuff, but that doesn’t really work on Tumblr so here I am! Plus I wanted to use Whumptober to force myself into sharing my writing and figured it might be useful to introduce myself first.

You can call me starlit, or anna, or hey you, I don’t really care lol. She/her pronouns. I love reading fantasy & fantasy romance, writing, and playing RPG video games when I have the time (usually fantasy based-are we sensing a theme here? 😂)

Before we get to more about me nonsense-

Acknowledgements!

Shout out to i-can-even-burn-salad

For beta reading for me and then being brave enough to share her stories with me. And for sucking me into Tumbler lol. And for talking to me all the time and making me laugh. And for being such a great person. <3

I love her writing and stories so much. Please, please, check her writing out. It's worth it, I promise! Bring tissues though!!

Best internet friend ever trophy, where is it? I need to send it… oh, there it is. Here you go, Elli! ���🎉💜

I haven't had the opportunity to check out many other blogs yet, bc someone has such an extensive back catalog 👀 😂 but tagged below is the one I have read. I devoured Traces in one day because it was so good. Highly recommend!

Traces by whumping-in-the-wings - Thanks for writing such a great story! Can't wait to see what happens next :)

(Obligatory disclaimer: heed the warnings. They are well-tagged.)

I've got my eye on several other blogs once I have a little more time. Hope ya'll like spam likes/reblogs/comments, bc I'm a bit enthusiastic 😂

Ok, back to me, I suppose. Under the cut 🤣

I tend to use emojis excessively, but don’t expect me to know the meaning of them beyond face-value expressions. I shamelessly claim elder millennial status as an excuse (which means I’m 18+, obviously).

I’m audhd (combo autistic/adhd), but I didn’t find that out until earlier this year, so I’m still very used to tiptoeing around people and holding myself back out of self-preservation. Working on that though, bc I’m tired of that shit. 

Erm, also… fuck is my favorite word. If you don’t like foul language, I might not be a great fit for you. 

I joined Tumblr about a month ago, so I am still learning and ask for your patience. (I will probably be learning for quite some time, tbh) If I’m doing something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it.

Asks are welcome, although not sure what you would ask me lol. With asks, keep in mind that I’m literal as fuck and context is everything :D

As is fairly common from what I’ve seen in this community, I’ve daydreamed whump for as long as I can remember, and it’s nice to:

1. know what to call it 🥲

2. find someplace where I don’t feel weird about getting it out of my head and putting it on digital paper. Well, not quite as weird haha.

I’m super nervous to post on here, but that’s what I’m here for, so… deep breaths 😶

Likes: 

See the full post

91 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wearejericho]

Knowing your partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier! REPOST.

name. camille♥ pronouns. she/her preference of communication. tumblr IM (even though it sucks) or discord!

name of muse(s). connor, north, markus, eli, hank (human verses: connor bryant, north brighton, markus vaughan, elijah “eli” key)

rp experience/ how long. ffff i started circa 2012-ish? my first RP was as freddie benson (from icarly) on FACEBOOK i started tumblr rp in 2014. i’ve had the weirdest assortment of muses. icarly, disney, glee, sherlock bbc, 13 reasons why, until dawn, detroit become human... all very different vibes lmao best experience. writing & reading threads that make my stomach drop or give me butterflies with excitement or even cry. one of my favorite feelings ever

rp pet peeves/dealbreakers. call out culture. blogs that have 25,000 non-negotiable rules to read through. i also will never interact with people who roleplay as real people (like celebrities, streamers, etc). it makes me really, really uncomfortable 

fluff, angst, or smut. angst! i enjoy some fluff from time to time and haven’t written smut in a long time. i’m down for it, it just feels unlikely to happen, except maybe with eli? but whump and hurt/comfort are my top interests by far lol plots or memes. i’m a big meme person. i don’t do a lot of plotting, mainly just b/c i’m kind of bad at it and it isn’t as fun. i’m a very go-with-the-flow type of writer. many threads i start i have no idea which direction they’re about to go in. that’s what keeps it fun for me! long or short replies. medium. one-liners are very rare (pretty much just occasional opens) but my longest has been like... 7-8 paragraphs? i average around 3 paragraphs. i enjoy having partners who have longer replies because it gives me more to work with but i’m not really that picky! best time to write. whenever i’m feeling it. sometimes right after getting off of work, sometimes all day on my day off, sometimes i go through writer’s block for 2 weeks. 

are you like your muse? not really. i’d say i’m a mix of eli and human connor. i’m outgoing like eli but also somehow introverted and socially awkward like my connor? and eli and i are both obsessed with medical things so :’)

[skellagirl]

I think this is kind of simplifying the conversation to make it easier to draw a line in the sand, or at least it feels like it to me? Once again I'm not super eloquent right now (been taking care of my sick grandparents for two days and they're a handful) but I'll try and verbalize my reasoning as to why.

If the reasoning and justification behind one being okay and one being not is based on personal disgust, that's not a good foundation to base moral judgements on, for a multitude of reasons articulated by lots of people much smarter than me but which kinda generally boil down to subjectivity. I find the fandom's fascination with brutalizing Danny to be very weird and uncomfortable, you like it because you find it fascinating -- but based on the moral framework you've kind of laid out here (intentionally or not) because I'm disgusted by it, it is wrong.

And re portrayal: idk what side of the fandom yall are in where you haven't seen the folks who ABSOLUTELY take glee in putting Danny in some of the most fucked-up situations imaginable lol. I'd guess that at least a sizeable majority are not writing these fics to send a message -- I'd guess that they're writing them because, like you, they find it fascinating. People are out here writing all kinda whump, hurt/no comfort, angst, horror, etc for its own sake. Sometimes for shock value, even. It's human nature to want to explore the taboo and the forbidden through art; it's not wrong if it doesn't send an explicit 'this is bad' message.

But also I'm interested in a hypothetical scenario: would a fic about Vlad/Danny be okay if it was portrayed as a bad thing? Where it was portrayed as horrifying, where the author wrote it because they were fascinated by how someone would react in that situation? Where they made disclaimers reiterating that they think the ship is awful but that they're writing the fic for the same reasons people write vivisection fics?

What I really mean by 'it feels like the conversation is being simplified' is, what about when people write gore fic because they find fictional gore fun and they just want to write fucked-up shit? Those people absolutely exist, in both the dp fandom and others. Why doesn't the fandom condemn them as thoroughly as people who write pomp pep for fun?

(the other thing I mean by 'the conversation is being simplified' is that ships are very definitely not always written as affection and trust and love -- even fics between two adults)

Basically, again, why is one heinous act okay and one isn't?

I almost don't wanna make this post bc I feel like it will be misinterpreted, but I've been thinking about the odd sort of double standard in specifically the danny phantom fandom, where the most popular thing (bafflingly, to me, given canon, but I won't digress) is to write/draw about a 14-year-old boy being mutilated, tortured, dismembered, vivisected, and generally brutalized, BUT,

if people try to ship him with, say, Vlad, suddenly that's a step too far

TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT DEFENDING THE SHIP. I do not like it, it skeeves me out, I've blocked people on sight for shipping it, I've gotten into heated debates with other folks in the fandom about it, you can ask like anyone and they'll back me up on this lol

MY POINT is that I find it so strange that one of these things (shipping a 14-year-old with an adult) is seen as abhorrent and heinous, whole the other thing (brutally torturing, mutilating, and traumatizing a 14-year-old for our Amusement) is A-OK and is in fact the most popular activity in the fandom 👍

and some of this shit is DARK! the few times I've poked into the dark fics in the fandom, especially the more popular/well-known/infamous ones, some of them have made me feel genuinely nauseated (and horror is like, my favorite genre for writing lol!!!!!!!)

I'm very curious about this phenomenon because I think it says something interesting about the old 'differentiating between fiction and reality' conversation that comes up every time dark fic/fic that features taboo elements is mentioned. Am I intelligent enough to articulate what that something is? Probably not lol

Although I do think a factor is that one of the situations in question is much less likely to happen to real kids and teens, but again I'm not intelligent enough to put into actual specifics why/how much that might matter.

idk!!!! I'd be interested to hear other people's opinions about this, cause it's def something that's been percolating in my brain

[spencers-renaissance]

I turn and reach for you

Summary: Three months after Hankel, Spencer starts getting terrible nightmares that keep him up at night. He tries desperately to keep his secret until one day when it's all too much to bear anymore. Luckily, Derek Morgan is there to hold him together as he falls apart.

Tags: nightmares, hurt/comfort, ptsd, angst with a happy ending, fluff, literal sleeping together, getting together, post-revelations TW: past non-con drug use mentioned once in passing

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

This feels the "Nightmares" square on my Bad Things Happen bingo card, and was written for this prompt by @i-write-whump. Title from a poem by Devon Strang.

After Spencer is kidnapped by Tobias Hankel, he stays with Derek. Nobody on the team wants him to be alone, and he’s always felt the most comfortable with him, so it makes sense. Besides, he’s got the space.

Spencer sometimes wonders whether the team pushed so hard for it because they genuinely believed that, logistically, Derek was the best option, or because they could also see the slow-burning romance simmering under the surface of their relationship. They’ve always had a special friendship, but Spencer can feel the growing tension: the deep and intense looks they share mid-case, the lingering touches on backs and arms, the affection leaking into each ‘pretty boy’ and every ‘Der’.

Perhaps if Hankel never came into the picture they’d already be together — it really had felt like they were on the precipice of something special — but it’s three months later and Spencer’s still sleeping in the spare room; there’s still just as much will they, won’t they lingering in the air between them.

He tries not to mind too much. After all, he’s never had so much free access to the man he’s pined after for years now, and they’re living in each other’s pockets. Almost every waking hour is spent in one another’s company: they cook together, eat together, watch films together, and neither of them are showing any sign of getting sick of it. But every time they’re cooking pasta and Derek says something ridiculous, Spencer wishes he was allowed to lean in and kiss the tip of his nose; every time they sit down to watch something together, he wishes he could burrow into his side and rest his head in the crook of his neck.

(Sometimes, Spencer wishes he could rewind to the weeks immediately after the Hankel incident when Derek would carry him around the flat to keep him off his broken feet; when he could press his face into his shoulder and inhale the scent of complete and utter safety.)

It’s almost torturous, being so close yet so far.

He isn’t quite sure why the nightmares start so late. The nights during the first couple of months are blissfully dreamless, so exhausted from the physical and emotional trauma that sleep was a tantalising escape, but once he’s back in the field, once normal life resumes, everything changes.

The first time he wakes up sweating and panting, heart pounding as he tries to convince himself that he’s no longer in Hankel’s clutches but is safe and sound in Derek’s apartment, he dismisses it as a one-off. He hasn’t had nightmares yet, so why should they start now? He doesn’t go back to sleep that night, too shaken to relax back into the comforting embrace of sleep, too afraid of deception: that he wouldn’t sleep dreamlessly but that the nightmare would be waiting for him once again.

The second time worries him. He gets up this time and gets a glass of water as quietly as possible, leaning with his back against the kitchen counter as he ponders what this could mean for him. The thing is, they’re so incredibly vivid. It really feels like he’s back at the mercy of a three-in-one torturer armed with drugs and belts and guns, genuinely unsure of whether he’ll ever see his family again. He doesn’t go back to sleep this time, either, instead pacing around the living room until Derek wakes up. He lies that he’s only been up for half an hour, and Derek believes him.

The third time solidifies for Spencer the fact that this is a problem. Three is a pattern, everybody knows that, and Spencer spends the rest of the night scouring the internet for studies conducted around delayed trauma responses and discovers the prevalence of delayed-onset PTSD. He’s tempted to contact a professor he met during his third PhD who specialised in the psychology of trauma, but he thinks better of it. Admitting these nightmares would be admitting defeat.

This is something he has to deal with alone.

(He ignores the truth that it’s more fear than anything else that keeps him from telling anyone: fear of being seen as weak, fear of nothing changing, fear of voicing his trauma out loud. It’s easier to pretend it’s about independent agency.)

It doesn’t affect him too much at first. Sure, he’s scared to go to sleep and he sweats so profusely that it soaks through his bedsheets almost every night, but he’s managing. He’s okay. He contributes just as much to their profiles and takes down unsubs without flinching. He dances around Derek like they have done for over a year, and he sits through Dr Who marathons with Penelope just fine. So what if he’s a bit tired? He’s stared down some of America’s Most Wanted and interviewed famous serial killers, he can cope with a little fatigue.

It doesn’t stay that easy for long.

Soon everybody’s asking about the bags under his eyes, his slower reaction times when they visit the gun range, his twitchiness around the team.

“Are you sleeping okay, Spencer?” Penelope asks him one day, brushing a curly lock of hair behind his ears as they sit side by side on the sofa next to a conked out Derek.

He can’t nod his head quick enough. “Yeah! Yes, uh. Yes, Penelope, I’m sleeping fine, I promise,” he says as convincingly as he can, flashing her a smile. He hates lying to her, but he can’t let anyone find out, he just can’t.

Slowly, he begins losing his grip on reality. He’s almost delusional from the sleep deprivation, and he starts seeing Hankel everywhere he goes. He’s stood behind the fridge door, in the foyer of the FBI Headquarters, in the toilets of a local police station, stood right behind the unsub they’re currently trying to talk down, goddamnit.

He’s beyond exhausted, but some nights he still refuses to sleep, too afraid of what awaits him in his dreams, too afraid of the fear he knows he’ll carry into the next day, too afraid of feeling weak again. Helpless. Completely and utterly without agency.

He sits up with his back against the headboard, the main light off but the lamp switched on, scrolling through as many scholarly articles as he can read in a night, drinking cup after cup of steaming black coffee. Most nights he makes it through till morning without sleeping a wink, but sometimes he can’t stop himself from drifting off The nightmares on those nights are the worst.

He isn’t okay and people are starting to notice. Everyone’s walking on eggshells around him right now, but he knows it won’t be long before Penelope organises an intervention that Hotch hosts and Derek directs. The worst part about it is that he feels like a trainwreck waiting to happen. He’s headed straight for complete and utter collapse, and the only possible way to stop the train in its tracks is to reach out and get help, the one thing he can’t get himself to do.

And he isn’t even really sure why.

It all comes to a head on a warm night in July. He’d fallen into bed that night deliberately, actually intending to sleep for once. The bone-deep tiredness had finally caught up to him and he didn’t even care that he was walking straight into the arms of Tobias Hankel, if it meant he got even an iota of refreshing sleep, then it would be worth it.

But he isn’t quite of the same mind when he wakes up at two in the morning like he does almost every night: soaked in sweat with his heart going a million beats per minute, with only one difference. Tonight, he’s crying.

Maybe it’s the emotional turmoil of the last few months catching up to him, or maybe it’s just the severity of this particular dream, but whatever it is, he can’t seem to stop even once he’s awake. Sobs wrack his shoulders as he cries miserably into the pillow, finally letting out the emotions he’s kept bottled up so tightly, and he’s almost wailing after a couple of minutes of anguish.

All he can think as he cries helplessly is how badly he wants Derek. He wants to be wrapped up in his strong and safe embrace, he wants to feel the movement of his soft goatee against his cheek, he wants to inhale the comforting scent of his sleep t-shirts, he wants the warmth and solace that only Derek Morgan can give him, and in that moment, emotionally distraught and so incredibly sleep-deprived, he decides to get it.

He stumbles out of his bedroom and down the hall, stopping once he reaches Derek’s door. He hesitates for only a second before he pushes it open slowly, allowing the light from the lamp they keep switched on in the hallway to gently illuminate the shadows of his bedroom.

“Spencer?” Derek asks groggily, immediately sitting up and wiping his eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

At the acknowledgement of his tears, Spencer starts to cry harder, and as embarrassed as he feels, he can’t slow the steady stream of tears rolling down his face as he stands in the doorway like a child in their parents’ room.

“Spence,” Derek says again, gentle and sympathetic, “come here.” He lifts the duvet up and scooches over slightly as if to make room for him in his already spacious king-size bed.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, though, and he stumbles forward, collapsing into bed and wrapping himself around Derek instantly. His arms come up to circle Spencer’s waist, caressing him gently as he holds him close to his body, shushing him quietly.

“It’s okay, Spence,” he murmurs. “I’m here now, alright? We’re gonna fix whatever it is, I promise you. We’ll get through this. You’ll get through this.”

He lets himself cry and cry and cry until his tears are dried up and he’s hiccupping from the force of his sobs. He would feel terrible about the damp spot left on Derek’s t-shirt, but he simply doesn’t have the energy. Instead, he continues to lie there on Derek’s chest, listening to his softly spoken assurances and losing himself in the sensation of Derek’s fingertips caressing the skin of his waist.

After a couple of minutes of silence, interrupted only by the odd hiccup from Spencer’s tired lungs, Derek finally asks the question. “What was that all about, pretty boy?” he asks with a tenderness Spencer isn’t sure he’s ever heard before. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Been having nightmares,” Spencer whispers, keeping his eyes closed against Derek’s imploring gaze.

He feels Derek tense beneath him, his fingers briefly pausing before resuming their comforting patterns on his waist, and a heavy breath escapes his lips. “For how long?”

“Last couple of months,” he mumbles, and somehow another tear manages to escape Spencer’s screwed up eyes.

“Well,” Derek sighs, “I suppose that explains a lot. We’ve been so worried about you, Spencer. We had no idea what was going on but we could all see you withdrawing, and it wasn’t exactly a secret how exhausted you were.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Derek says sadly. “I should’ve pushed harder to figure out what was going on with you. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this all alone.”

“I didn’t know how to tell anyone,” Spencer says, suddenly desperate to explain as he shifts slightly to look Derek in the eye. “I was so scared and I didn’t want anyone to think that I was weak or I couldn’t do my job anymore, and I just didn’t know what to do.”

“I know, Spence,” Derek says soothingly, “but you’ve told me now, haven’t you? And I’m going to do everything I can to get you some help. We’ll fix this, baby. I promise you, I’m going to make sure you’re happy and healthy again if it’s the last thing I do, okay?”

Spencer sniffs a little, wiping tiredly at his eyes as he blinks up at the sincerity on Derek’s face. For the first time in far too long he manages a smile. “Okay.”

Derek runs a hand through his hair before dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

Spencer’s smile widens and he buries his face in Derek’s chest again as his cheeks flush red. “Please.”

Months later, they’ll realise they never officially asked one another to be in an actual, exclusive relationship. Months later, they’ll know instinctively and with absolute certainty that this night was the night that changed everything for them, and exactly one year later, they’ll celebrate their first anniversary on that date.

Tonight, though, they sleep curled up next to one another in Derek’s bed, and although Spencer doesn’t fall into the same dreamless sleep he grew used to immediately after Hankel, for once he isn’t haunted by nightmares, but dreams inflected with hope for what the future holds for them, and he’ll take that over dreamlessness any day.

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[thetragicallynerdy]

for the emoji asks, if it's not too much trouble! 🙋‍♀️ ✨ ❌ 🤲 🍷 🧠 (Oluwande)

yeah yeah yeah!!! (emoji fanfic writer asks are here for anyone curious!)

🙋‍♀️ (person raising hand emoji) - Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

I have a bunch of very real online pals who I met through fanfic!! But re: brick and mortar space people, yes! Some of my family knows - my two sisters, and my parents. They don't know what fandoms I write for, or my username, and have never read my work, and basically only know I write fanfic because I kept mentioning that I had been writing but didn't ever let anyone read what I wrote XD (I write way too much smut to ever let my family find my ao3 account hahaha). My mom asks me about it sometime, and is very sweet in letting me ramble about the themes of the stories I write. I think that's it though? I am keenly aware that I come from the era of 'fanfic is super embarrassing' and have some holdovers from that, so it's not something I talk about a lot with people I know in brick and mortar space.

✨ (sparkle emoji) - Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉(winky face emoji)

Ohhhh gosh! Well - I think I write conversations well. There's a flow to conversations, and I almost always have the conversations I write play out audibly in my head - and I think I put them to page well! Or, at the very least, I enjoy them a lot haha! I also think that for someone who really enjoys writing angst, I do a decent job at writing humour when I try XD

❌ (X emoji) - What's a trope you will never write?

Pretty much anything involving pregnancy. ABO stuff is also not really my jam writing-wise. Whump wise, captive/pet whumpee type whump stuff is something I absolutely won't touch. There's many other common whump tropes that I won't write, but they don't all need to be listed XD

🤲 (palms up together emoji) - Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Yeah!!!!!! This comes from an old west AU in which Oluwande is a farmer, and Jim is the outlaw who stumbles onto his farm while injured.

--

"You know, this would be easier if I could just carry you," Oluwande says. There's worry threaded through his voice - but that's stupid, why would he be worried about them.

Jim closes their eyes, tries to stop the world from spinning quite so much. It just gets worse, and they can already feel their grip on his shirt beginning to slip.

"Fucking fine," they slur. "Just - fuckin' do it."

Oluwande wastes no time at all. He ducks, hooks one arm under their knees, the other under their shoulders, hefting them easily into his arms. Their head lolls against his shoulder, face nearly tucked into the softness of his neck. He's strong, and warm, and soft, and - he feels safe. God, that's so fucking stupid of them.

"Alright," Oluwande murmurs. "I've got you."

🍷 - Do you drink and write?

I do not! I actually don't really drink in general - I've got a brain injury, and brain injuries and alcohol tend not to mix well lol. I like alcohol, but only have a drink once every few months or so. That said, I think it would be very fun to write while drunk and see what I write XD (it would probably be angst or smut, lets be real. Probably both together XD)

🧠 (Oluwande) (brain emoji) - Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Okay one of my absolute favourite Oluwande headcanons is that he's got a lot of siblings. He's just got such great vibes for it, y'know? Like he feels like the sort of guy who has a bunch of sisters and maybe a few brothers too, and grew up taking care of and being taken care of by siblings. He's got good 'big healthy family' energy, and I adore it. And I really really hope that we get to know more about his backstory next season!!! I wanna know all the things!!

Thanks so much for the asks!!!