#that was funny to me

[echotunes]

loving the "the gang interacts with farm animals" segment of episode 11

[anonymousjournal420]

INTRODUCING SCAR FACE

[hunterbunter3000]

Also fun fact, some guys can smell when yr wet bc hormones and shit so. There's that. Don't ask how I know. Don't think Abt Kruger sniffing out sweets when she's worked up one day<3😇 -🦇

W h u t

Batty. Batty we were just talking about your boyfriend three minutes ago. Batty where did you get this information. Batty--

[dirbenaffleck]

Baby, baby, don't. They can google.

[dialup-dragon]

I do weird things in my sleep (sit up, sleepwalk, sleep talk, etc.) and my sister used to be scared of me because of it.

She told me once that I, in the middle of the night with just enough light to barely see, had rolled over towards her with my eyes wide open and staring at her, and that had apparently scared her so bad that she didn’t sleep the whole night

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[planefood]

When was the last time you ate something green and NO GREEN M&M'S DON'T COUNT

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in

[bodhrancomedy]

Sometimes having a reputation for being smart beats actually being smart.

I once beat my school’s chess champion in a game because he spent the entire match desperately trying to work out my strategy because I was ���smart” and therefore good at chess.

We were playing with a Lord of the Rings chess set. I was moving the characters I liked best.

I’m terrible at chess.

[knifefightscene]

[theriverbeyond]

how does hard drive never fucking miss

[anonymousjournal420]

Why can't I stop. It's not even coping skills anymore. It's an addiction. I do it for fun. My shorts are wet from blood. It's hard to walk, and yet I still continue to push through. Promises upon promises have been broken. Tears have been wasted on my stupid addiction.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[wilted]

help

[tooquirkytolose]

He made her an offer she couldn't refuse

[goats-ablaze]

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again