#that until he is actually introduced outside of events. which is a bit of a ways off still and the only way to get there is getting the

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ Gardening buddy ୨୧

pairing: Joel Miller ♡︎ Fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ porn with plot, sorta sub!joel, shy Joel, Tommy being an ass, softdom-ish!joel, pussy pronouns, Reader has hair long enough to “gather” (tho it doesn't matter much) with female anotomy, pnv and f receivng oral

summary: ʚ you have some plans to expand the garden and poor Joel just can't resist you ɞ

Words: 5.2k

A/N: lets pretend it didn't take me 22 days to write this lol

P:1 P:2 P:3

Joel swirled his whiskey slightly. He didn't even really want the damned thing. However, he would never decline a free drink. His jaw clenched slightly, eyeing the crowd. It was one of the many community events Jackson liked to host. Joel hadn't gone to many of them if he was honest but Tommy being the ever-intrusive brother he was, he pretty much had no choice but to show up tonight.

Plus you were gonna be there tonight, which was always a bonus.

It was no secret to Joel (or anyone else for that matter) how beautiful you are. You were younger, younger than him at least. He wasn't one hundred percent but early thirties he was guessing. 

You were funny, talented, and had a level head. Dangerous combo for a man like Joel. He'd seen you around of course. You didn’t go on patrols but you did run the gardening area when it came time and helped teach when it was cold.

Joel had noticed you but never had a real reason to say much to you so he didn't. That wasn't until Tommy had introduced you both. Fucking Tommy. You wanted to expand the garden, so you went to Tommy. 

————

Joel had just gotten off an extra patrol shift. He didn't have much to do nowadays so it was either sit around and play his six-string or go out and try and help out.

He had made a promise to Maria to stop by tonight for some planning. He wasn't too sure why, seeing how Joel didn't contribute much. As he knocked on the door and Maria’s half smile greeted him his curiosity grew. 

Everyone knew Joel was a little shy even if he would never say that. He heard your voice, he'd seen you teaching the littles outside enough times to recognize your voice by now. Why the hell were you here? 

“They're in the kitchen. Go ahead and head on back. I'll be right there.” Maria said with a soft smile and a strong hold on Joel's shoulder. She released her grip on the man, smirking to herself and she walked away. As her boot heel clicks got further away it dawned on Joel he had to now navigate a social situation with his brother and a person he didn't know too well.

Great. This oughta go well.

His face was neutral as he walked in. “Oh, there he is! My big brother, ladies and gentlemen.” Tommy walked around his kitchen island to hug his brother. Joel didn't have a moment to prepare as his younger brother's arm came crashing down around his shoulder. His eyes flicker to you who is, In defense, looking away but quietly giggling at his brother's actions. 

“Jesus Tommy, what is all of this about?” he says, fighting the way a red tint covers his face, neck, and ears. Embarrassment floods his system. Tommy loosens his grips eagerly looking at you. “Go ahead tell him.” you raise your eyebrows in surprise at the sudden spotlight. 

“Oh! Well um, well I sorta run all the gardening and whatnot here as well as teach the younglings how to garden and- sorry I'm rambling,” you say waving your hand a bit with a wide smile. You take a deep breath and lean into the kitchen island pointing to a paper, probably a map.

“The garden needs an expansion. There are a lot of people here, and everyone has a mouth to feed. I'm not thinking huge but bigger,” you said gesturing with your hands. Joel nods, walking over to the workspace. “Alright,” he states. Seems like a reasonable plan. “What’ you need me for?” his hands find the counter.

Your eyes flick down but just as soon as they look down they look right back up. “Well I came to Tommy- well actually to Maria THEN to Tommy but he said you're the man for the job,” you said placing your hand on your hip. Course Tommy would sign him up to do the grunt work for a pretty girl like you. 

The old man's eyes shifted to his brother who was now feeling less confident in his skills. “It ain't a big job Joel. We’d get the supplies in a few weeks max.” Tommy said encouragingly. He thought for a few moments.

He should say no. He's old and he ain't got time for no gardens.

————

His stomach swirled with anxiety for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. He told himself he was simply observing the dancing crowd. But he knew who he was looking for. You. He was looking for your awfully friendly smile. Your worn but cute jeans. 

He had spent so much time searching, eyeing the crowd he didn't see the very object of his affection damn near skipping up to him. “Hey gardening buddy!” you shouted holding out your arms. 

Joel's eyes widen at your contact. Your wave of joy crashed into him. “Woah don't kill the old man now!” Tommy shouts from the bar before getting a not-so-playful nudge from his wife. You pull away looking back to rolling your eyes at the younger Miller.

“What an ass,” you mutter, eyes fluttering back to Joel. Joel smiles looking down too nervous to look at you. “But how are you? Enjoyin’ the dancing?” your hand found its way to his shoulder. Your fingers smoothed over the fabric of his jacket, dipping under and pulling his flannel out.

His eyes watch your fingers drop the fabric as you chuckle to yourself. “What?” he finally manages. You were so touchy… it was weird. He didn't mind really. It wasn't anything that would cross a line. Just friendly things. 

Or he thinks.

He hopes it's more, secretly. There are several reasons why it could never work out between you two… You are younger, sweeter, softer. 

He can't think about it too long. He's alone most days now. And thinking about how fucking soft you are will ruin him. When those thoughts bubble up into his mind they don't just stay there. They find their way into his bloodstream… his bones.

He can picture your smile, the way your lips feel against his. The curve of your back, ass, thighs… anything his large rough hands could get on. He'd want all part of you. You smell like honey, or maybe you actually smell like honey. 

He blinks back to you smiling looking at him expectantly. “Yeah uh…” he scratches the back of his head, taking a deep breath in. You do smell like honey. “Ain't much of a dancer, to be honest darlin’,” he sighs. You nod your head with a smile, it is your turn to look down now. “Yeah sorry, I ain't buyin’ what you selling honey.” 

His eyebrows raise as his lips follow in a smirk. “Yeah?” he asks, placing his bands on his hips. Your arms cross with defiance, “Yeah.” your confidence oozed off of you like a waterfall. 

Maybe it was the drink you had or maybe it was you trying to ignore the beating in your heart whenever you saw Joel but you needed a dance.

————

You stood in the front room of Tommy’s looking at all their pictures as Maria shifted around her drawers for something she owed you. Joel, having just agreed to help you expand the garden, had gotten a hard smack on the back from Tommy, a warm smile from Maria and you guessed it a hug from you.

Joel rounded the corner to see Maria approaching you with something small in her hand. “Hey thanks,” you said taking it from her and pushing it in your pocket. “Anything to take the load off.” she winked at you. 

His sister-in-law looked at him and with a quick nod and a “Joel.” it was just you two in the living room. “Thank you again Joel for helping me with this and I promise I will help as much as I physically can,” you said walking up to him. “Quit thanking me, it's not a big deal.” not needing to put his heart in any more strain. 

You let out the (cutest) giggle and stepped back slightly. “Heh- sorry. My name is y/n by the way. I feel like I didn't introduce myself earlier.” 

It felt silly to Joel you felt the need to introduce yourself to him. Like you two haven't met before. Of course, it dawned on him. You just don't think about him as much as he thinks about you. Why would you? He's just Tommy's older brother.

“I know what yer’ name is darlin’.” A slight awkwardness hangs in the air, just like the Christmas lights in December. There to look at and admire. “Right, sorry. I know who you are too. Joel Miller. Tommy’s handsome older brother. You've got quite the reputation.” you said with a wide smile trying to use it to cover up how your face was starting to burn.

If your face was burning Joel’s must be on fire as he opened his mouth to speak but not a word came out. Not only did you know who he was but you called him handsome. That's when the schoolboy crush began in its full form.

No longer could he pretend he just thought you were pretty; those pesky little feelings found a way to weasel into his heart. “Handsome, huh?” he asked, not able to make eye contact.

You bit your lip at his nervousness, toe-ing forward slightly. “Well sure,” you explain. “Hard to miss those big ol’ muscles of yours riding into town,” you said. Your words may be teasing but your tone wasn't. You were more quiet now. 

That's right. The old shift he and Tommy would do usually had him coming into Jackson as soon as you were bringing the littles on a walk around. That means not only did you know him, you saw him. Nearly every damn day. Did you miss him on days he wasn't there? Ever think about sayin’ hi?

“Yeah uh, I remember now. You used to have the kids out about the same time every day when me and’ Tommy’d bring in the horses.” he said gesturing to nothing.

“Yup, that's right. Hey, why don't you do that shift anymore,” you asked, shifting your weight on your feet. It was weird that this didn't feel weirder. Felt like y'all had been friends a while and not for 30 minutes over talking about some garden bed plans.

It still was awkward. It seemed like a tidal wave could hit and you still wouldn't shake the nerves. 

It had been a while since he did that patrol. “Oh well, they can't have an old man on the new guy shift eh?” he said, trying to ease ever-flowing anxieties. It was also a reminder for himself. He is older than you. Therefore out of reach for you and him. Couldn't help it, however. Thinking of the older man. You say older like he isn't a mere 20-something years older. 

“Old man? I've seen the way you wrangle those horses. Old man, where huh?” you teased, arm reaching out for your coat on the rack. He chuckled following your lead pulling his old and tattered Carhart piece on. “Yeah well, I ain't young like I used to be. Think Tommy started to notice finally.” 

He thought back to when he first got to Jackson. Begging Tommy to take Ellie from him and save her. He felt like he was going to get her killed, no he knew he was going to. He was right. He ended up hurting her worse than any scar could.

Now he had no one. Except Tommy. Stupid Tommy.

————

“Well unfortunately for you I was just about to head out.” Joel declared. He wasn't planning on it but now was as good of a time as any. Wasn't it? “Oh leave? Oh no no sorry honey I'm not letting you leave without at least one dance. Are we clear?” you tease poking his chest slightly. 

You laced your fingers with his guiding him to the ‘dance floor’ of the tipsy bison. He felt the warm feeling of your skin bleed into his. He felt the eyes of other patrons on you both. An old man and a young girl. 

The slow country song filled the air. Once you settled on a spot a little far away from the watchful crowd. You twirled around settling your arms around Joel's neck. You start a small sway back and forth to the music. His eyes didn't meet yours, instead swam through the sea of faces

What were they thinking? Were they judging him? “Hey cowboy,” his eyes flutter down. “Eyes on me.” he looks away but not for long, his eyes fall back

To yours like a comforting hug. “Why are you doin’ this?” His voice is low but not mad. “Cause you're cute,” you whisper back faces inching forward. 

There's a beat of science before Joel feels like a familiar feeling bubble in his lower belly. His arms slink down to your waist, his rough hands gripping slightly. His face dipped down to your neck next to your ear, his beard tickling your skin. “You wanna uh- get outta here?” he asks slowly, trying not to make his idea very public.

“Thought you'd never ask.” 

You both chose an Irish goodbye as the safest option. Quietly slipping into the quiet cold night. Your dancing outfit was less than ideal for the colder weather. The freezing air nearly pierces your skin, and if god had heard you just then a blanket of warmth comes down and encapsulates you. 

You turn your head to Joel who has now wrapped his very thick and warm jacket around you. “Thank you,” you said leaning closer to him as you both walked toward your road. No further words were said but your heart seemed to be beating faster than it had all day. 

You rushed to your house's front porch eager to escape the cold. You opened your front door shuffling in and letting Joel in after you. He took in your space. It was cute. A few books were on your coffee table. He would need to ask about those later.

He watched you idly as you kicked your shoes off, tossing them into a shoe bin. You ran to all of the lamps in your living room, turning them all on. It gave the room a homey feel. The realization of what he was about to do started to sink in. 

He wanted to fuck you.

Fuck felt like such a disrespectful term. You were a lady and he was a man. Making love? That felt too cheesy. But maybe Joel was just a cheesy guy... God, 5 years ago he would haven't even considered you romantically, let alone get nervous at the thought of having sex with you.

But here he was watching, getting increasingly nervous as you started a fire in your fireplace. He started to rub his shoulder slightly, watching as you were satisfied with the height of the fire. 

You shrugged his Carhart jacket off placing it on the couch. Joel’s eyes followed you as you approached him. His heart jumped as he felt the air get warmer and it wasn't the fault of the fire. He saw you glance at his lips as you got closer and closer. 

“Are you nervous?” you asked in a teasing voice noticing his quietness. He stood there without making a noise. His silence answered any questions you had. “It's ok,” you took one final step towards him. “We can go at your pace.” 

Your fingers found the sides of his face. Your hands were so soft unlike his, “S’ been a minute since v’done this. S’all.” he breathed out looking down. “That's ok, we can go as slow,” your hands found him pulling them around your waist. “Or as fast as you want this to go. No pressure baby.”

He kept his hands on your waist. Big rough mounds of flesh gripping your waist. His breaths are shaky, he can feel you. He needed to feel more. Joel takes the leap of faith. He pushes his lips against yours. The rest of your body follows as you get pulled flush against him.

You're so warm. He can feel your warmth against his crotch. The flesh of your stomach warms and rubs against him from under the fabric of your clothes. Your lips are soft and you taste like the wood flavor of a good whiskey.

His mouth engulfs yours. His body needs you, craves you. Your fingers find his hair, begging to pull him close. “Joel…” you manage as you press your nose against his. “Come on baby,” he whispers back, nudging your nose slightly. 

He pressed his body against yours encouraging you to start walking backward toward your couch. Your knees hit the plush on the furniture. You let yourself fall back as your chest rises and falls rapidly. He stands over you watching. His pupils are blown.

His skin feels so hot like he needs to jump out of it. On the other hand, he feels like his skin would ignite with yours to create the most beautiful fire. He can't believe he is gonna do this. You feel the same. You watch as he slowly sinks to his knees, choosing to ignore the small pop noise you hear as he settles closer to you.

His old, dark but kind eyes bored into your soul as you leaned closer to him on the couch. Your legs spread open to create room for him. Your mouth collided once more, this time with less urgency. Softly and slowly his tongue explored your mouth. 

Making sure every single inch of him tasted every inch of you. Your hands found quick work of his flannel nearly ripping it off of his body. He watched in awe as your soft eyes filled with lust. You needed him. Was he going to be able to give you everything you needed? 

You seemed sure he would. After making quick work of his flannel your hands started to pull his shirt up enough to expose his round soft belly. Something he is not particularly proud of. But he would be lying if he said the look in your eye didn't give him a slight ego boost 

To you, he wasn't a flabby old man. He was a damn near work of art. He couldn't bell but hesitate taking his shirt off the rest of the way as he watches your eyes track his torso. The only thing snapping him out of his state was realizing you were now looking right at him. 

“Huh?” he asked, staring up at you. You gave him a knowing smirk, “Do you wanna take your shirt off? Or keep it on?” you asked, biting your lip. In a preferable world, Joel could keep all of his clothes on for this. He can't… not easily that is. 

So he took a deep sigh. “Whatever you want honey,” his drawl bleeds into his words and your bearing heart. “Are ya sure? Cuz’ if I have my way you ain't wearing anything.” you said, dragging your finger down his chest. He shivered slightly.

You wanted him. “S’fine by me. Want you the same way.” a flash of heat finds its way to your core. He wanted you. “Oh yeah?” you asked, shuffling back to him and pressing your lips against him, fingers dancing to rip his shirt off. 

He lets you, it's hard to calm his breath enough to kiss you and not freak out. But soon enough his shirt is gone, and you guide your fingers to his having him dip under your shirt. He for a second isn't sure what to do, his brain only being able to think about how soft you are. Jesus, he is losing it. Eventually, he allows his hand to glide up your back.

Fumbling for a second with the bra strap before undoing it. It was at this moment that Joel slowly remembered who he was. He was dominant, soft, and experienced. Your eyes go slightly wide at his ability to snap your bra off. 

“My my he has many tricks up his sleeve,” you say with a smile as he pulls your bra completely off your body. “This ain't my first rodeo darlin’” he comments, unable to hold back a small smile. “For your sake, I’d hope not.” you joked. He rolled his eyes. The atmosphere shifted again. You gripped the bottom of your top pulling it off yourself.

His eyes and some drops. Your perfect tits sat looking right at him. “Christ,” he murmured, moving closer to you. His mouth instinctually moved to your collarbones, his hands slipped up your stomach. 

You breathed out at the feeling. He was wonderful. A breathy “Joel,” flew past your lips as his mouth went further, taking your nipple into his mouth. Slowly licking and sucking on your mound. Your fingers found his hair. The tips and nails tubing against the roots of the salt and pepper locks. 

He pulled away, a single string of spit still connecting the two of you. His mouth found your other tit, replicating the same love did to the other side. The slow-burning ache started to fill your system. You pressed down onto the couch trying to find any sort of relief from the pressure. 

Joel saw your struggle. His rough fingers slid down to your ass, even in jeans his touch felt so good. “Oh, we’ll get there.” he whispered, pulling away from you. “Please, Joel. I need you,” you whined. 

He pulled further away and he crept to your buckle, his eyes searched yours for permission. “Go ahead,” you whispered with a nod, he turned his attention back to your pants. He fumbled a second with the button, then in the blink of an eye had the button undone and the zipper down and was pulling your pants off. 

They were down at your ankles and then they got tossed aside. Joel eyed your thigh and stomach like an animal waiting to pounce. The feeling of his rough calloused hands rubbing against your soft flesh sent waves of pleasure down your heart. 

A prominent wet patch formed on your panties. Joel's touch was both gentle and comforting. Your finger dove under his chin holding him to look at you. “I need you, please…” you repeated. God, you sounded so whiny. 

“M’gonna m’gonna, ya gonna need to be patient f’me,” he whispered before he started kissing the flesh of your thigh. The words alone send you gushing into your panties. His scratchy beard added another sensation all welcomed.

You clench around nothing desperate for pressure. After he was satisfied with making out with your thighs making sure you were nice and wet for him, he pulled away. You watched as he moved to the top of your cunt hovering just above you. His hot breath sent shivers up your spine.

You breathed out and his mouth collided with your clothed heat. He covered you with kisses, slowly but deep, and the passion grew in your lower belly. His fingers slowly hooked into your panties. He slowly dragged them down.

His eyes nearly bulged out of his head, your entrance was glistening with slickness. All for him. Had he really done that to you? “My god baby, you trying to kill me,” he whispered. His thumb slowly spreads you open, and his finger gently brushes you.

Your legs jolted and he knew he found your clit. He watches your face as he slowly begins to rub circles. Your eyes gleam over with love. He maintains eye contact. You slowly began leaking your pussy fluttering around nothing.

Joel licked a big stripe up gathering all your juices on his tongue. You let out a soft groan. He slowly began to stick his tongue in hitting your G-spot. “Wait-” you breathed out, smoothing your hand over his hair. 

He pulled away, lips glistening and pupils blown. His heart sank to his ass, what had he done? Why did he think he could do this? He wasn't any good, not anymore at least. Maybe he never was. 

“Can I take off your pants? But leave your boxers still on,” you asked with a sheepish smile. He blinks for a second before standing up. The world seems to rush up with him, he can feel you tugging at his belt but he gets so dizzy all he can do is slowly rub his thumb across your cheek as he looks down at you.

He could get used to this view. He begged you'd look real pretty down there, taking him in your mouth. The thought alone makes his cock jump, or maybe it was the cold air as you pulled his pants down. His hard cock begging to be released.

You don't answer his prayers as you scoot back on the couch with a content smile. Joel discards everything still left on him minus his boxers. His knees make a familiar pop as he settles back in between your legs. His kisses return and so does his tongue as he begins to re-light the fire growing in your belly. 

His hand flexes up to yours grabbing yours and putting you right on your clit. His strong arms wrap around your thighs, pinning your legs open. The cold sting of his watch sends a shiver up your spine. You rub your clit trying to keep up with his pace.

It was hard to keep in rhythm, your legs shook around his head and in his arms. You felt the coil threatening to snap and you couldn't take it anymore, you removed your hand and gripped your couch cushion. “Joel- I'm so close.” 

He hummed into your sex, your back tried to arch off the couch as he kept you pinned. Your legs shook as the coil snapped. Your orgasm deafening any other stimuli. “Ohhh fuck Joel.” you whimpered into the air.

After a second his ministrations stopped, and your legs were sore but a good kind of sore. The kind where you can feel pleasure for hours. You work to catch your breath as the older man on his knees for you slowly stands up. “Jesus.” is all you can say with a smile.

“Still got it in me huh?” he said, rubbing his jaw. “Oh no Joel you had it in me,” you whispered standing up to meet him. “Oh yeah?” he asked, letting you invade his space. “Yeah,” you whispered, pulling him into a kiss, your taste still on his tongue. You let out a small noise. “Taste yourself, baby? Sweetest pussy I've ever had.” and you moaned again. 

You needed his dick right now. 

Your fingers fumbled for the fabric of his boxers. They were hot and so was the rest of him. Chest tinged with a slight red color. You pulled down as you kissed him, and his hard member sprung up. Joel hissed inwards at the sudden cold air.

And Jesus was perfect. He was long, or at least longer than anyone you had ever seen in real life. And big. God, you were gonna feel this man in your toes. You looked up at him with a loopy smile. “Not too bad for an old man,” you mumble, your tease must have been good because at that moment his rigid cock jumped slightly up.

That was your cue to begin. Joel shot you a warning glance with his eyes, but a smirk tugged at his lips. You slowly begin to tease him, fluttering your hands around his hips and thighs. Before you can sink to the ground his strong hand gathers to the back of your head. He guides your head back up, and you're confused.

Worry starts to flood your system. You cock your head to the side trying to figure out why he wouldn't want you to suck his dick. He was already hard, he ate you out just moments ago… none of it was adding up in your brain.

“That's not how this is gonna work,” he says as his large hands find the sides of your arms. He gently moves you to the couch. You plop down, still confused. “Work? Work how?” you ask. “You don't needa suck m’off just cause I did what I did.” 

You shake your head with a smirk, “I don't need to do anything. I want to, Joel.” you mustered up your best puppy eyes. “No baby what ya’ need,” he starts walking towards you. Your knees hit the couch again as you flop down. His hand meets your knee, spreading your legs for him. “What you need is me in that pretty little cunt. She's begging for me,” he whispers in the last part.

Your mouth is slightly agape. Have you really just heard that? No way… right? Joel came down to meet you, his hands roaming your body tentatively. He lined himself up to your entrance.

“Sure you wanna do this with an old man? We can stop.” he reminds you. “No we can't,” you said

With a smile. “Yes, we can. This can end now. You don't have to do this.” and while his words were so sweet, you needed him to fuck you. “Joel, pleased I've waited so long for this,” you whispered. He nodded, positioning his hard length in you.

It felt like he was piercing you. As he pushed into you you mewled out. He instantly stopped,” You alright?” he asked his warm rough hands creating the greatest sensation in the world. “Mhm, just stings a little that's all,” you whispered nodding at him. Joel doesn't move his eyes searching for permission to keep going. 

“Go ahead, m’ ok.” you encouraged. He nodded pushing in about halfway, it was his turn to make a noise. You were so tight and warm and ready for him that he nearly keeled over at the feeling. God, he wasn't gonna last long. Once he pushed all the way in he dove down to kiss you. 

His hips began snapping against yours as your mouths melted together. You pulled away the feeling of his dick prodding your tummy become overpowering, to say the least. Your fingers scratched down his back leaving long traces in your wake. 

He breathed heavily, his forehead planted on yours. “Mm fuck me,” he muttered gathering your hair and yanking your head down to look at where the two of you met. To see you swallowing his cock whole. “Look at you, baby. Your-” he took a deep breath in. “Fuck, you're doing so good baby,” you whined out in response. 

Joel could feel his orgasm approaching. He gritted his teeth together, “Fuck! Come one baby m’ so close. Needa to come first. Make me all wet.” he cursed. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your throat. You were so close, he had fucked your brain quiet.

Any sort of thought beyond his dick, hands, or voice was a lost cause. The coil in your stomach snapped, your walls clenching around him violently. It was enough to draw out his orgasm. “Fuck.” you both whimpered as you clung to him.

[lucy90712]

Hi I recently discovered you and absolutely in love with your writing. Could I request for a protective bf/fiancée Pedri

"Hey baby how was your first week of work?" Pedri asked 

"It was good most people were really nice and they only questioned my knowledge twice" I joked 

"Only most were nice" he questioned 

"Everyone but this one guy John who I guess was nice but too nice he kept sort of hitting on me" I said 

"Only sort of" he said 

"Ok fine he was hitting on me I tried to tell him I was engaged but it doesn't help that I can't wear my ring with all the chemicals, I just ignored him though" I said  

"I know you can handle yourself but make sure you keep a record of everything he does and tell me so if he goes too far you can tell someone" Pedri said being the sensible person he is 

"I'm one step ahead of you" I said waving a notebook in front of him 

"That's my girl" he smiled 

~~~~~~~~~~

"Amor you have to go to hr or something it's not fair that you have to put up with a guy flirting with you all day while you're trying to work" he said

"You won't like hearing that he likes to have his hands around on waist unnecessarily when he walks behind me" I said 

"Ok that's it you have to go to hr he's assaulting and harassing you now" pedri said getting mad but not at me 

"I'll get fired he's the head of the team and I'm the newest member he'll deny everything and call me crazy then I'll get fired and I'm not going to have that on my record or I won't get a good job anywhere else" I said 

"Thats not fair baby" he said 

"Believe me I know but I can't change that I just need to ride it out for a bit longer until it doesn't look like I just quit straight away" I said 

"How long will that be?" He asked 

"Probably a year" I said 

"You'll put up with it for a year" he questioned 

"For my career I will that's more important to me than some dickhead I won't let him ruin my career" I said 

"I admire your dedication you truly are amazing" he said 

~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm really not looking forward to meeting this guy I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself punching him if he even says a single word to you" Pedri said as he zipped up my dress 

"Well you'll have to I need to make a good impression if I want the top researchers to take me seriously and allow me to help in further research on my breakthrough" I said 

"I will do my best but I'm not leaving your side for a single second" he said 

"I wouldn't want you to I want to show off my fiancé too" I smiled 

He handed me my jacket which is actually his but over time I've adopted as mine and we got in his car to head to the hotel the event is being held at. When we parked outside I suddenly got the same feeling of dread I get before I go into work, all of it caused by this stupid idiot John and his inability to take a hint. Every time he flirts with me my perseverance diminishes and I get closer and closer to quitting, then I remember I have to keep going for my career. Tonight is going to be a real test, at work I can ignore him and move his hands away but in front of everyone else I can't I have to act like it doesn't bother me. 

Pedri held my hand tightly as we entered the big hall which made me feel better. The first person we saw was my favourite co worker Sally who always helps me when I need it. I introduced her to Pedri and they both gushed about how amazing I am which had me blushing like crazy but it made me feel good about myself. Next thing I knew John was making his way over and I felt all the colour drain from my face and my heart drop, as this is when I find out what he'll do when he finally meets the fiancé he doesn't seem to believe I have. 

My plan was to warn Pedri when John was coming to talk to me but it seems that I didn't need to as before I could say anything his arm went around my waist and he held me close to him. The tension in the air was so thick it was almost suffocating, but that could also be the fact that I think I was holding my breath. John had his usual smug smile on his face as he came over and handed me a drink which I just put down as I don't entirely trust him to not do something to it. For a few seconds he just stared at Pedri and Pedri stared back, it was almost like they were sizing each other up which had me a little worried.

"So this is the fiancé you are always telling me about" John mused sarcastically 

"Yes this is Pedri" I said 

"John right I hear a lot about you" Pedri said 

John offered his hand but Pedri didn't take it which visibly annoyed John. 

"You know I always thought she was lying I mean she never wears that ring I know if she were my fiancé I'd want her wearing it at all times so everyone knows she's mine" John said 

"Well she doesn't want to damage it at work with all the chemicals as it's special to her I mean the ring is custom made so it's one of a kind for my one of a kind woman" Pedri said 

Things were definitely as awkward and tense as I thought they would be but Pedri's arm around my waist made me feel safe around John for once. I was really hoping someone else would come and talk to us and save us from the awkwardness but I have no such luck. He kept going on and on basically admitting all of the things he does to me while at work which I could tell was making Pedri mad. I always tell him everything that happens but to hear it from the guy making my life hell in such a casual way was definitely killing him inside, especially knowing he can't say anything because he promised me he'd stay calm. His grip on my waist only got tighter hearing everything completely unfiltered because I do try and tone it down when telling Pedri so he doesn't go and quit for me. 

I don't really know how it happened but somehow Pedri gradually got taken away from me to talk to other people leaving me alone with John. It took John a matter of minutes before he started getting really flirty with me again even though he's just met Pedri he's just so insistent. As he flirted he came closer and closer until he was stood right by my side then his hand started to slide along my waist like he was trying to be secretive and hope I wouldn't notice. I so desperately wanted to just yell at him to get his hand off me but I can't in front of all these people, but Pedri can so I was just wishing for him to notice I needed help. John's hand then went to my ass and I just froze I should've moved or slapped him or maybe both but I just couldn't I was stuck like my shoes were glued to the floor. 

"Hey take your hands off my fiancée" Pedri yelled from across the room 

John persisted almost pretending that he didn't recognise Pedri's voice.

"Stop touching her I was over here 5 minutes ago you know she's taken plus that's assault so get your hands off her" Pedri seethed 

"What is going on here?" the ceo came over and asked 

"This guy has been harassing my fiancée ever since she started working for your company and now he's just sexually assaulted her in front of everyone" Pedri said standing up for me because he knows I won't 

"John is this true?" The ceo asked 

"She didn't tell me to stop and I didn't know she was engaged" John lied 

"I've told you a million times I'm engaged and you were talking to Pedri like 5 minutes ago and I never ever consented to you touching me I didn't stop you because I was scared but that's not consent" I said not being able to hold it in anymore 

"Let's take this conversation elsewhere" the ceo suggested 

We were taken to different room where Pedri pulled me into his arms and just stroked my back to make sure I was ok. I melted into his embrace and let the tears I've been holding in over all of this go because I finally felt safe and like something would change. I didn't realise that this whole thing had effected me so much until I couldn't get the tears to stop, but Pedri was right there to comfort me and tell me it will all be ok which is exactly what I needed to hear. It finally felt like this nightmare was ending even if it had to happen in front of everyone at the company at least it's over now. 

By the time someone came into the room I'd stopped crying and Pedri had wiped the mascara from my face so I looked somewhat presentable. Still he kept his arm around my waist very protectively like the ceo was going to take me away from him which will literally never happen. 

"Having spoken to John we now have the full story but personally I would just like to know what solution to this you would like" the ceo said 

"At the very least I don't want to be working with John again but I'd prefer for him to be let go so he can't do this to anyone else if this doesn't happen I will be leaving" I said standing up for myself 

"We have already let John go and I would be willing to offer you a raise if you will stay with us and not bring this to the media we appreciate your talent and don't want to lose you" the ceo said 

"I'll have to think through that offer" I said 

"Of course I hope to hear from you soon" he said leaving me and Pedri alone again 

"You're not staying here they just don't want you to go telling anyone what happened they don't care one but about how you feel they just care about looking good" Pedri raged 

"I know I'll hand in my notice on Monday and start looking for a new job in the meantime" I said 

"How about you take some time out you have the rest of your life to have a career but I think you need some time away to let yourself heal from everything that's happened the last 6 months" Pedri suggested 

"You know what I'm on board with that and I can travel the world with you" I said 

"We'll have so much fun together and you'll never have to think about that horrible man ever again" Pedri smiled 

"Thank you for protecting me" I said 

"Thats my job I'll always be here to keep you safe" he smiled 

[maleyanderecafe]

First Base (Visual Novel)

Created by: Frogcake, Minthe Draws, Cinnayanny, KnightAnNi, TurtleBox, OTOJANG Games, Alina, Kyitre, June, HusbandoGoddess

Genre: Psychological/Romance

This one I remember playing last year, but it had very little at the time, so I just decided to wait until there was more content and low and behold here we are. This has the same author as Bleeding Canvas, @try-froggery and I quite like that game, so I hope as the game continues, we will get a fun game like that.

The story starts out with the MC complaining about their college life, finding it boring and deciding to go out to more college events to put themselves out there. They end up waiting out in the shade at a baseball game before nearly getting hit in the face with a baseball. They are saved by Dakota, the star baseball player who starts to flirt with the MC afterwards which leads to a date with him. After accepting (either immediately or with a bit of coercing), the two of them decide to meet up for lunch the next day, realizing that they have a crush on him. They read a copy about The Taming of the Shrew as they judge the characters for being so easily manipulated with all the characters being bad people, not understanding the controversy that it talks about. The MC greets Dakota outside of their house with Dakota driving the two to a cafe nearby called the Brookbread Cafe. The two order their foods (with Dakota ordering the same as the MC). The two chat about things like how Dakota would eat pretty much any food before talking about how he got into baseball. We learn from Dakota that he got into baseball when his dad introduced him to a lot of sports when he was younger, until he discovered his natural talent for baseball, to the point where even his major is related to baseball. After getting the two's food, we learn that the MC is majoring in psychology, and starts to analyze Dakota's body language, seeing him as confident, however, that he either might be nervous/defensive but was trying to hide it before turning and stating that it could just be a comfortable position when seeing Dakota's face turn dark. You can either talk about your hobbies or ask about Dakota's. Asking about Dakota's, we find that he doesn't really have any hobbies outside of baseball, and the MC suggest the two go axe throwing, leading them to exchange numbers. Afterwards, Dakota drives the MC home and while there, Dakota asks for a second date which the MC happily obliges to. Dakota gives the MC flowers before leaving the MC happy about their date.

Like I said, I played this demo the first time that it came out, but it didn't have anything I could really talk about (it was pretty much just the scene where he catches the baseball before asking the MC on a date), so now it's nice that there's more to talk about. For Dakota, there's not a whole bunch on the yandere side, just lines of him wanting to to know more about the MC, but the sentiment is still there, I suppose. I think this will likely be more of a slow burn since we don't get to see that much of it as of current, though I'm not sure what the game will lead to in the future.

The MC is pretty standard as things go, tired of school, instantly falls for Dakota, that kind of thing. I will say that the part where they are actually in psychology is probably the most interesting part, seeing that they're able to analyze (and pretty accurately too) Dakota's behavior just from one single body action. I hope that this kind of thing comes into play later because I feel like that might be really good for if Dakota ends up doing anything to the MC (such as kidnap or drug them) since they might be able to notice it. I think currently that's the trait I'm most interested in, so seeing that be echoed throughout the rest of the game later on would be really cool. Since I did like the MC in the creator's previous game, Bleeding Canvas, I'm hoping that this one will be the same (though probably not a cannibal like in that game).

As for Dakota, we get to learn a bit more about him as well. It seems like his entire life is pretty much just focused on baseball, with very little else that occupies his time, and we get to learn how he got into it in the first place. I think it would be neat if perhaps this is played into his reason for being a yandere for the MC, like he's sick of baseball or he finally is able to get the same type of fulfillment that he has towards baseball that he does towards the MC. Something that could save him from the life he knows kind of thing. I might be looking a bit into it since he does seem to try to act confidentially towards the MC, but as they reveal, perhaps he might not be as confident as he tries to make it out to be. Could be an interesting point to explore in the future.

Overall, the intro for First Base does give a lot of information about Dakota and the MC. He seems pretty sweet with a bit of yandere mixed in, so I hope to see more yandere content in the game later on. The artwork is pretty nice in this one and I like the way the CGs are drawn.

[scarlet--wiccan]

In the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic #41, it's mentioned that the "twin fingers of the Demiurge" created the Brighthold. Due to its name, I think it can be assumed to be a counterpart of the Darkhold. Do you think that they'll ever show Billy and Tommy actually creating it?

To recap— Avengers Academy and the preceding Young Avengers storyline establish that Billy and Tommy are, or will become, the Demiurge together, and that their primary act as Demiurge will actually be to create the M’Kraan Crystal. As its newly-appointed guardian, Nate protects the Crystal and the timeline which leads to its creation-- as such, the story has gradually introduced new information about the Crystal itself, what makes it integral to reality, and how the twins are connected to all of this. In #41, Gabriel visits the past and meets his late human mother, a witch named Abigail Housman, who possesses a grimoire she calls the “Brighthold.” The book has an image of the Phoenix and the M’Kraan Crystal on the cover, and Abigail states that it was written by the “twin fingers of the Demiurge."

To answer your question-- no, I don't think that we'll ever actually see the twins becoming the Demiurge or creating either the M'Kraan Crystal or the Brighthold, at least not in this comic. That's just not the point of the story. It’s the same as Wanda and Pietro’s Nexus stuff in Scarlet Witch, or the original version of the Demiurge plot in Young Avengers— we’re told, quite clearly, that these things are meant to happen at some abstract point in the future. That future informs characters' actions in the present, and these developments provide opportunities for characters to level up their powers and face off against new threats, but that doesn't mean they're going to actually reach the end point any time soon. If they did, the story would be over!

Of course, there are ways to tell a more detailed story about the future without disrupting the present, but like I said, that's not the goal of this comic. Billy and Tommy aren't even featured characters-- we only see the younger, sort of... ghost versions of them. The present-day adult characters don't even have memories of these events. They've got a lot of catching up to do, and unfortunately it probably won't happen until Marvel announces Young Avengers Volume 3, or, I don't know, a Wiccan & Speed miniseries.

That said, I do have a bit of speculation to share. The timeline is a little confusing, but from what I can tell, the twins escaped from Mephisto and were brought to the Academy, and the M'Kraan then guides them to their encounter with America Chavez in Marvel's Voices #8. America tells them about the Utopian Parallel, which seems to inspire Billy to "make a world like that." The twins then leave through a portal, and that's the last we see of them-- eventually, we know the Crystal will guide them to their new lives with the Kaplans and Shepherds, but we don't know how long that takes, or if anything else happens before they get there.

In Avengers Academy #37, we do see a brief glimpse of Billy and Tommy silhouetted against the M'Kraan Crystal as Lunella describes its creation. Billy's wearing a cloak, but besides that, they still look like little kids. Part of me wonders if this moment of creations actually takes place after the twins left America, but before they were reincarnated. It almost makes more sense, in my mind, that they could reach outside of time and use the pure potential of their powers to create the Crystal while still in this nascent state. It makes for a neat cycle, too-- they grow up, become the Young Avengers and inspire Nate to change his destiny, and he sends the Crystal back in time so that it can create the Academy and guide the twins.

Just an idea!

[crazylittlejester]

What's the relationship between Sidney and the other Links in the MMAU? You might've already explained this so sorry if it's repetitive :(

no its okay!! i dont think i’ve mentioned it too much and i really dont mind repeat questions :)

Sidney and Twi met ages before Sidney and War did, because theyve been lab/research partners for a good long while. At first they just had one of those like ‘school friendships’ where they only talked in class and texted about homework related things, but they slowly got closer and Sidney is/was Twi’s ONLY friend outside of his friend group (obviously once Sidney starts dating War he becomes part of the friend group too). Sidney and Twi are both very introverted and quiet but they get along super well and have their own stupid sense of humor and dumb ass memes they send each other. Twi is Sidney’s best friend really, which later down the line will lead to a hilarious ‘fight’ over who gets Twi as one of their groomsmen (“i’ve known him longer!!” “he is my best friend!! you have wild!!”) spoiler alert: Sidney gets him

Time is significantly older than the others in this au since he’s Twi’s dad/biological uncle and in his mid/late 40s, but he likes Sidney because he too met him before War did since Sidney is Twi’s friend and Sidney ended up helping out at the ranch a couple times. Time and Malon both are a little protective of War, he’s not their kid by blood but they’ve known that boy since he was 13 and War really doesn’t have any other family in his life so they stepped up and given War’s past with his ex boyfriends Time was a LITTLE worried but then he remembered Sidney is like the world’s biggest sweetheart and was incredibly gentle with the animals when he was helping out and even washed the dishes after Malon made him dinner and so Time calmed down

Sky likes Sidney a lot because hes the first of War’s boyfriends who hasnt been the worst person alive. Sidney is quiet, he listens to War, he’s respectful to everyone including the cats, Sky approves. He hadn’t been introduced to Sidney as Twi’s friend or even seen a picture of him until War got involved but the first thing he said about Sidney upon seeing a pic of him for the first time was something along the lines of “he looks nice, he has a nice smile”. When War ACTUALLY started dating him seriously and not just grabbing coffee with him, Sky did watch him closely to make sure he didn’t secretly suck, but no his first judgement was correct and he’s found he really likes talking to Sidney. Those two do become actual friends, like Sidney isn’t just War’s boyfriend to him, Sky can just text him like “hey dude wanna hang out?” because they DO become friends. Tho when its just them theyre a bit limited in what they can do/where they can go because Sky can’t drive and Sidney WONT drive/doesnt own a car/is terrified of being in a car and also the bus (<- trauma reasons, he was in a really bad crash)

Wild is probably one of the people in this au whos the MOST overprotective of Warriors. He was the one who comforted him after the whole Cia thing, he watched War end up in SHIT relationships, Wild accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in War leaving a bad relationship but also ending up homeless for like 2 months (and Wild still blames himself for that) so while HIS first opinion of Sidney upon seeing the picture War showed him was “he doesn’t look like a total douche, give it a go”, he was still a bit wary of him and a little judgy. He wanted to make sure War was ACTUALLY happy and being treated well and that Sidney wasn’t just putting up a front around him (because Wild knows War pretty damn well and knows War doesn’t like to mention hes in a bad situation until its been 3 months after hes already gotten himself out of it because War CANNOT ask for help). Wild eventually does become friends with him, they don’t have too much in common to talk about other than skating and trading hacks for dealing with chronic pain, but they make it work

Hyrule had a class with him and Twi once so Sidney is kinda like an acquaintance level friend to him. They went their separate ways in their science fields, Twi and Sidney’s life goals were a little more related to each other’s than to Hyrule’s, and it was a pleasant surprise when Sidney popped back up in his life again. Hyrule isnt as close to the dumbass trio as some others in the au (the au focuses on the dumbass trio and their different friend groups and the MAIN friend group outside just the three boys includes Sun, Midna, Athena, Linkle, and the more extended one past that is where Wild, Legend, and Hyrule come in) so Hyrule doesn’t see Sidney a whole lot or get TOO close to him, but they’re friendly and Hyrule likes him as a person so

Legend found out War started seeing a new guy, immediately called Four, and bet him twenty rupees they’d be getting a new addition to War’s powerpoint list of people he despises (its MOSTLY his ex boyfriend’s/flings/and the occasional other person) by the end of the month. Unfortunately for Legend War and Sidney DO end up getting married. Legend pretends he actively dislikes War but ofc this isn’t true and he does care for him a lot, so he was a little judgy and cold towards Sidney (in his defense he REALLY didn’t think it’d last) but at a big party the two of them ended up in the “I’m overstimulated and need a break” corner together and Legend pulled out his emotional support 3ds and the two of them ended up talking about pokemon for Five Hours and when War and Twi came looking for Sidney and Hyrule came looking for Legend, they found them both huddled around the 3ds sitting at an outlet. Legend liked Sidney after that, in fact he likes him better than he likes War

Four hasn’t been around him much except at bigger group hangouts but he likes him because Sidney is polite and doesn’t suck. They had an interesting conversation once about gravity and hypothetical scenarios and it’s like an on going thing. They pick up right where they left off every time they see each other

Wind isnt super close to War cuz hes just so much younger than the others in this au (hes still in high school, War is his old babysitter and the only reason he really hangs around the college kids is because he’s Four’s cousin and gets ‘dragged’ along) but he thinks Sidney is cool because Sidney kicked around a soccer ball with him once

[kkpaaw]

Back at it again!

Yoyo its been a minute for the au but I'm back and with Jay's concept for pre-season 1 and season 1 this time!

So let's talk about her in this season ya?

⚠️ WARNING⚠️

Before you just jump in, My version of Jay is genderfluid so i jump back and further between "she/they/he" with "she" taking priority. Just bringing it up so ur aware and not confused

♡Jay♡

Jay is the secondary protagonist for my au Red Monkie & Blue Dragon.

She ends up in the realm of lmk just like Kai, however how she ended up in that realm is VERY different from how Kai did. There was no bell for Jay here, but it all ties into her altered backstory!

Jay takes Mei's place in this au and for those who know the Lore of lmk you know what that entails, but for those who dont, NOT TO WORRY unlike Kai you'll actually learn what this change is In this very post! Cuz it's relevant to Season 1!

♡Backstory♡

I'm gonna need u guys to sit down cuz I have a LOT to say here

Jay's backstory in this au is very different. Mainly i the genetic sense and less in the how she was raised sense because,

In this au she is descendant of a dragon.

The dragon heritage comes from her paternal side so from Cliff Horden himself. Cliff, previously Changxu, originated from the realm of LMK and fled to Ninjago after being disowned by the family for his constant seeking of fame and fortune, utilizing his clans reputation to get his way.

Since dragons In the ninjago series have a bit of interdemensional powers they can travel between realms pretty easily, so it didn't take much for Cliff to flee his realm and end up in Ninjago where he stayed until his passing as in the show.

Something else that's different in the version of events is the fact that Cliff, before he left had another child by another woman. The relationship didn't last due to Cliff's womanizing ways but they did have a kid before they broke it off.

This child is named Ivy. I will be introducing her later on as she'll be VERY important to the au, but know for now that she's Jay older sister by 5 years.

Also before he left, he had he had taken the dragon blade, as a sort of way to both be petty as well as a bit of memorabilia. He left and soon changed his name to Cliff. Just like in canon he got caught up in the serpentine war and helped out there becoming a huge ally and adversary to the serpentine. There he met Libber and they hit if off like In canon. After the serpentine war Cliff went on to be one a famous actor, seeking the fame and fortune that got him disowned In the first place.

He and Libber still had Jay but once again due to Cliff womanizing ways their relationship didn't last. Libber took off one day, and took Jay with her, leaving her on the doorstep of Ed and Edna junkyard.

And the the story as we know it happened up until Jay found a mysterious Sword hidden within Cliff's home which activated his sleeping dragon genetics causing him to accidentally transport himself into the realm of LMK

♡Dragon Form♡

Jay's dragon form if u couldn't tell is WAY bigger than average dragons in Niniago. She's much closer to like Matriarch, Arc dragon level of size. This is due to the fact the the dragons In LMK are just fucking HUGE. They are easily rivaling the Source dragons in size.

Jay isn't as big as them she's much smaller, this is due to her being only half dragon genetic wise as opposed to full dragon so she doesn't have the gargantuan size the dragons In LMK typically do, but she's still WAY bigger than your average dragon in ninjago

_____

Alright i think that's enough information! The next post you guys see for this au outside of asks will be Ivy, Jay's sister, concept art. She'll be very important to the story so she will absolutely have a concept

Before I leave I want to thank you all for your support in my au. I honestly didn't expect so many of yall to like my previous posts about this au so I'm so happy many of you like it and look forward to more! I'll try my best to be consistent but I can't make any promises! Rn I'm riding a high so I'm getting as much done before the high dies and I slo down.

Byeeee~

[umathurwin]

introduction to the pogues 🤍

remember in the first episode how john b introduced the audience to his friend group? i think that little montage tells us so much about how he sees the others— let me explain 🙂‍↕️

i’ve always interpreted the segment as a semi-diegetic reel of his memories presented as if you’re watching a powerpoint show from john b’s perspective. i believe the events actually happened and he is not making anything up, but he’s pulling specific memories that correlate to how he sees his friends— and not necessarily how they really are.

take pope for example. his introduction primarily shows him being the “brains” of the group, in john b’s own words. he’s shown as sage, responsible, always knowing what to do, and maybe being a little awkward in social settings outside of the immediate 4

then compare that to what we actually see in the series… yall pope is a bit of a mess. he’s absolutely a smart boy, and clearly a big reader (who just quotes ‘down down to goblin town’ from the hobbit?? nerd!), but he’s just as unwise as the next teenager! we constantly see him make poor decisions and act rashly. when rafe attacks him, he shuts down until jj notices and then listens to jj’s advice. is he insane?? the wise choice would be to go to kiara, who knows how to control the kooks, especially rafe. but instead, this goober trusts jj… im sorry, i don’t think pope is a fool, but i definitely think john b confuses his friend’s intellect with wisdom lol

and speaking of jj? he gets a homoerotic highlight reel of partying, entertaining, mowing lawns shirtless, surfing, and hooking up with girls. if this was all you saw of jj maybank, you’d think of him as the walking definition of cool runnings and a total pussyslayer

and not, yknow what you actually get, which is an absolute goofball who constantly gets the group into trouble and causes messes to be cleaned up. i’m sure he is very entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but i think john b specifically selected moments where his friend was more fun and carefree than the times he got them busted by shoupe or otherwise in legal peril, which we know both occur a lot. (and the walking-in-on-him-and-a-girl thing? i’m sure that it happened. but then the show makes it pretty obvious that jj gets minimal play all things considered— the one girl we see him score after this is kiara and it wasn’t exactly the epitome of a fiery romance where he really swept her off her feet …) i love jj. but i think john b’s pitch of his best friend is certainly a rose-tinted version!

weirdly enough, i think kiara is the only one who doesn’t get a more positive view in john b’s eyes than she is presented in the rest of the show. she’s shown lecturing a partygoer about single-use plastics, she’s yelling at them all to behave in her parents' restaurant, she’s pushing them off when they’re hitting on her and messing around. it all has a playful air about it, but i always thought this was such an unflattering portrayal of one of his best friends, one he self-admittedly has a tiny crush on. be nice to her!?

and maybe the kooks would agree with the sentiment that kiara is a pedant, but i don’t think other pogues would. they seem to somewhat like her. even in the garbage island clip, the guy listening to her is paying attention and doesn’t seem to be too upset with the conversation. yeah, she may ramble about what she’s passionate about, but she’s charming and fun to be around, and i don’t believe kiara is as annoyingly didactic as she’s painted to be in those clips

to be clear again, i think john b loves his friends and he’s not a liar, but the exact way he chose to introduce us to the pogues reveals a lot about his subconscious feelings for them. he overestimates pope’s wisdom, jj’s general swagger, and kiara’s bristles. (which is pretty expected given my headcanon that kiara was only freshly part of the group again at the time of the pilot… he’s still learning to trust her and is hyperfocusing on the things he doesn’t like about her… hmm)

what do y’all think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[strawberrystepmom]

wondering about the witchlings again….! how fleshed out individually are they in your mind? like their names, appearances, personalities, magic, etc? were/are you friends with their families?

you ask the best questions aldjfalksdfjlk thank you so much for thinking of the good stuff always <3333333

they are all pretty fleshed out in my mind actually! there are 8 of them ranging from age in 5-13, they're all girls who were truly orphaned and had no other family to go to after the events of dmc5 and, oddly, my immediate reaction wasn't "omg we will take them and figure it out as we go" when told hey all these girls have nobody now but it was dante's immediate reaction. he was like alright, cool, load them up.

also i feel like i haven't mentioned it yet but patty lowell helps me with the girls. i offer it to her as a job and pay her but really offer it bc i think it would be good for them and her both to have each other so she just hangs out at the boarding house and stays the night occasionally. they invent a rumor about her being dante and i's secret daughter we dont wanna reveal the identity of and we play along until we're like okay let's discuss this considering we are all a found family here....let's not other anybody....

i'll go into them a little more under the cut...my girls.....starting with the oldest and going to the youngest....

katie, 13 years old, spatial magic - can create small rifts through time to move within short distances but is incapable of maintaining full portals. she's very quiet, meticulous, and feels a bit weird amongst the little ones who definitely see her as their big sister. enjoys reading, sitting outside, and taking walks with dante because his solo walks always become group walks through the woods around the property where we live. mother goose and his gaggle...

2. hallie, 11 years old, alchemical magic - very stereotypical girly girl and likes to use her magic to make nail polish. idk why. i asked and she was just like heheehe i dunnnoooo i wanted to and ykw who am i to question a queen doing queen shit. loves to read and tries very hard to make spaces for katie to feel comfortable in so they can read together.

3. alexis, 11 years old, illusion magic - all girl. doesn't like bugs or frogs or outside or really even the various familiars that are dragged into the house. the younger girls try really hard to make her like them though and will like introduce her to each of them and she is like tensely smiling the entire time bc she's also very polite. a good girl. illusion magic isn't strong but she can make things look slightly different from their original appearance which can be very disorienting.

4. isabella, 9 years old, temperature magic - miss diva supreme-a. she's a bit of a natural leader and will even roll over the older girls if they don't stay out of her way. she's really sweet but is bossy and likes to be the Drama. can make hot things hotter, cold things colder but cannot make cold things hot and hot things cold. going to have to work through some of those diva tendencies with her though.

5. elizabeth, 8 years old, life magic - we're kind of scared of her ngl because SHE can put life into inanimate objects. it's not very strong and we frankly don't think it's going to be a problem but we are like okay so here's why we don't bring the scary doll to life. here's why there doesn't need to be a tree monster. she's sweet though, she only uses her power to make other people smile even if she feels a little wicked. dante told her every time she feels like using her power for bad to come talk to him bc we used to battle with some urges in her to like be a little mean but now they talk it out. she's good.

6. madison, 7 years old, creation magic - biological sister of gracie, our youngest. can create new objects out of discarded items like trash but they cannot be living objects. creates a lot of toys out of just anything. they started bringing her random stuff to make into something else and now she has a weekly magic show we invite everyone to.

7. lily, 6 years old, healing magic - a straight forward healer, she lays on hands and restores life force. she's smart and means business, a little intense but we are working with her on it. she has some pretty serious abandonment issues from the whole situation so we just try to be gentle and patient and remind her we are always here.

8. gracie, 5 years old, we don't know yet magic - she's baby. no magic yet, just baby. she and madison are biological sisters so we're working under the assumption their magic will be similar once she starts showing acumen but until then, she's just baby gracie. which is what dante calls her and she pouuuuts. im not a baby! im NOT a baby! stomping her little foot and he says oh but you're acting like one baby gracieeeeee and she's like dad stop it bc she calls him dad at least once a day. she's clever, sweet, and attached.

[omgpurplefattie]

WIP Wednesday

I have a WIP again, it's Wednesday, so have a WIP Wednesday.

Introducing Li Lianhua from my new AU Roulette WIP.

The prompts I got are:

Gothic Horror

Urban Fantasy

Hospital / Medical

Li Lianhua kept it secret from his patients that he actually lived on the grounds.

He lived in a very hidden corner where neither patients nor visitors ever came, in an old, basic stone and brick hut that had housed a boiler, back in the 19th century.

Now it housed Li Lianhua, his multilingual collection of old medical texts, his potted plants, and his kitchen — the latter in an annex, under a glass roof. Outside, there was some cast iron garden furniture, as old as the compound itself. Li Lianhua had sanded it down and painted it a pale green, with pink accents.

He had to stay true to the lotus motif.

Li Lianhua loved to cook, but not everybody loved to eat his food. There were some friends and colleagues who did dare to be experimented on, and who sometimes came to sit in his kitchen, or on his garden furniture, and eat his new fusion recipes.

"Trout from the lake, braised in Sichuan style," he announced — that was one if his more harmless recipes.

His colleagues — the new head of administration, the younger art therapist, and two nurses — took their chopsticks and dug in.

To judge from their faces, it wasn't bad, if a bit spicy.

"You have a fishing permit?" Ina, one of the nurses, asked.

"Nah," Li Lianhua said. "The fish don't mind."

"You need one, though," the head of administration said. She was the oldest person at his round and solid 19th century table, but she had a great sense of humour.

"Probably, as this is Germany," Li Lianhua conceded. "But the fish really don't ask, and the lake is almost entirely on Sanatorium grounds; so who should check?"

The sanatorium had been built in the 19th century for tuberculosis treatment; the slums of nearby Berlin were ripe with it. Later on, it had become a children's home used by the East German state to house the children of dissidents; that had given the name of Reppin a bad reputation. After the fall of the Iron Curtain, the place had stood empty until the mid-2010s, when a rehab clinic for burn-out and cardiac events had refurbished the picturesque lost place.

It turned out that these two conditions had a lot to do with each other, busy 21st century Berlin was ripe with them, and if you knew how to talk with all the different health insurance bodies that made up public health in this country, then it was a very sustainable business model that would feed a number of doctors, nurses, occupational therapists, physios, cooks, cleaners, caretakers and even one TCM doctor who would run the qigong courses, ply patients with acupuncture, and lead the extracurricular meditation class every evening after dinner.

Some of the patients did fixate a little on him, so it was important that none of them knew he lived just five minutes down the overgrown garden path, hidden from the main buildings by shrubbery, brambles, and a rather daunting view of the Reppiner See which featured the infamous cursed boundary stone, and the old boathouse on the other side of the water.

[filamentlights]

YOUR BEAUTY NEVER REALLY SCARED ME

Clone x OC Week - Day 4, Intimacy || Fives x OC

Event Masterlist

SUMMARY: Broken and a bit dead inside, Fives finds himself stumbling along the streets of Coruscant’s underworld red light district. In this heady, feverish night he stumbles into the bed of a girl with a smoker’s voice. Intimacy is a strange thing between two jaded souls. Probably not going the way you think it will. 

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: cursing, adult themes, prostitution, talks of sex, canon typical descriptions of violence, alcoholism, talks of substance use, smoking, panic attacks, inherent ethical dilemma and implications that come w sex work, dehumanizing talk, not what I’d consider an explicit rating but definitely be mindful of the mature themes

He found himself on a random street, and there’s a girl with green eyes leaning on a doorway smoking a cig. Arching an eyebrow at his staring, she takes a long drag. Fives hears her call out her price and blows a puff of smoke towards him. Her voice was low and scratchy, and a hint taunting in the way she called to him across the streets. Saucy in its volume. Cattish and coy. 20 credits an hour.

The smoke was magic. It had to be. He could smell it from here. It lured him in. Suffusing his senses until he was smoke inside and out. Dazed, he fished out the few credits in his pockets. He found himself in front of her feeling puffs of smoke ghost his skin.

“I’m six short,” he muttered. It was quiet. The first words he’d spoken in hours.

“You’re broke as shit. Any gutter rat addict around here could afford me.” Her voice was hoarse as she sniped, gesturing around at the dilapidated Coruscant underworld. “Half hour then,” she said, pursing her lips. Blowing out another puff that fanned across his face, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. His eyes fluttered shut. He let her coax open his mouth with her own chapped lips. He licked her bottom lip until it grew soft. In retaliation, she bit his upper lip. The bitter, near sour taste was sweetened with cheap chapstick. He breathed in the heady smokiness. He let it infuse him.

“I um, ‘m Fives,” he mumbled against her lips. His hands had landed on the arch of her back, which meant he could feel the slight twitch of her ribs as she huffed. Her right hand still held her lit cigarette, but the other came and settled on his forehead. Cool, calloused skin pressing against his thrumming head.

“You high, brother?” The girl prodded mercilessly at his eyelids. Fives stared at her through one eye that was being held open by her thumb.

“Or just drunk?” She continued, her raspy voice sounded faintly amused as his hand traveled up her frame to press lightly on the dark bags creasing under her eyes. Bruises. Contusions. Broken blood vessels. Eye bags. Exhaustion.

“You know, most people don’t care to introduce themselves when they’re with me,” she mused and pressed wisping kisses along his jaw.

“Does it hurt?” He mumbled quietly as his thumb gently touched the bluish-purple patches. He half-thought he didn’t actually say it, until the girl huffed. He then clumsily wiped the corner of her lip where a smear of makeup lay.

“Not tonight, no.” She quipped, flicking his hand away. Her grin was cattish, a bit devil-may-care in its cavalierness. But her lips were chapped. And she’d bit him for licking them soft. Not knowing why, Fives felt his chest tighten for this civilian girl. She couldn’t be physically much older than him natborn ways. He pushed his forehead down to meet hers. Piercing green eyes met his. He liked the color much more than the bruises under them. Her face looked comically large from this angle.

“I’m Fives,” he said determinedly. She snorted indelicately.

“Katja.” Then her scratchy voice turned flirty. “But you can call me whatever you want.”

“What’s your poison?” Fives blinked slowly. He’d let the woman—Katja—usher him into her dingy apartment which smelled of, among other things, smoke. Not the cigarette kind, like outside, but incense. It caressed him and kissed him warm. Fives wished he could disappear into it.

She walked into the room in a worn, lacy camisole that stopped right before her belly button and matching red panties. Overtop, a sheer orange scarf draped for modesty. Probably for his benefit more than hers.

“Hm?” He glanced at her holding an opened wine bottle and mismatched wine glasses.

“Never mind. Wine? You’ve got half an hour. Might as well make it a good one.” She offered. Staring at the hand proffering the bottle, he started to move. Grasping the bottleneck gently like he was handling a baby, he poured some into her cup, careful not to spill a drop. She frowned.

“Put a bit more, lightweight,” she instructed. Fives stared into the sharp green eyes with bruises under them. Nodding, he slowly poured another few seconds of dark liquid into her glass. Giving himself a little, he put the bottle on the tatty fur-lined nightstand, taking care to set it down without so much as a sound.

“It’s only two credits,” remarked the girl, scoffing. Fives looked back at her lounging against a few stained pillows. He clutched the wine glass to his chest.

“What?”

“The bottle.” She nodded towards the wine. “Two credits a pop.” She took a gulp of her wine, cocking a brow as Fives kept cradling his.

“Cheap, then?” His voice sounded faint, even to him.

“Yup.” She popped the ‘p’ sound. “Don’t gotta treat it so nice. It’s cheap shit, even for me. Could pick two credits off the streets.” Fives stayed silent for a minute, contemplating. He’d taken off his armor sometime after crawling into her bed. Yet, his ARC spaulders had somehow survived his hazy undressing. Paired with his skintight blacks, the gray spaulders stuck out and made his figure look oddly unbalanced; top-heavy. He took a hesitant sip. The plastoid wine glass had a small chip that poked his lip. The wine was aromatic, almost harsh against his senses. But there was something comforting in the dragging weight of it on his tongue. Acidic against his taste buds. He held it in his mouth to taste the astringent bitterness before swallowing slowly.

He mumbled something not even the girl watching him skeptically could decipher this time.

“Hm?” She hummed, finishing off her wine.

“But if- if I don’t treat it well, then what about me?” Fives felt a sudden pressure behind his eyes. It stung his waterline. His voice wavered. “What about us?”

Her cracked lips curved into a wry smile.

“Aren’t you a nice person? Three minutes and one sip in and you’re already weepy over backwater home-brew.” Katja patted his cheek patronizingly. “Good little clone.” It registered that she was poking fun at him. Yet it didn’t bother Fives, not in the way an insult from a natborn usually felt. Clone. She didn’t spit it. Chipped red nail polish. Blunt and practical. He wanted to nuzzle his cheek into her palm. Let her hold him in her scratchy, smokey low voice. Vanish beneath the silky red lace edging of her camisole with frayed strings falling at the seams.

“’m not though,” he mumbled. The wine made his brain fuzzy. “I didn’t say anything. Not enough. I knew though. Knew he was pulling some shit—manipulating the captain for it—but I didn’t- I didn’t- wasn’t fast enough. He died ‘cause I couldn’t kriffing shoot that droid fast enough and it fucking blew up the goddamn ship behind. I didn’t stop ‘im. I-” The girl was saying something, she sounded almost concerned under the raspiness, but Fives was too far gone blabbering nonsensically to notice. Not even the drops sliding down his cheek into the dark wine with small plinks.

He felt the glass be lifted from his hands. He wanted to grab on to the cheap, shitty glass with the cheap, 2 credit wine in it but a hand pushed his down. He struggled weakly. And suddenly, he felt a slight frame press down on him. Bony thighs pushing him down at the hips. The girl was on top of him, her hands grasping his. She pulled his hands away from his own neck.

“Breathe,” she ordered. That he could do. Follow orders.

The only sound was his erratic breathing. Little puffs following harsh inhales.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped. “I don’t- I don’t know what to do with this. I’ve never- I’ve never paid for- or, I mean- do I? Do- ugh, do-”

“It’s ok.” Thankfully, she interrupted his spiral. With a half-derisive sniff, she rasped, “and I don’t put out for clients who don’t pay full.”

“Oh.” He tried not to sound too relieved. “I’m sorry, I don’t have that many credits. I don’t… do this.”

“Sleep with whores?” She snorted. Her hands went to his shoulder. He heard the click and she released his left spaulder from its place.

“No, that’snotwhatImean.” He rambled. “Idon’tsleepatall.”

“Not at all?” She chuffed.

A few of Fives’ remaining braincells fired off and he realized his misstep. Catching his expression, she snorted. Her breath fanned across his face. The small smile was there for a moment and gone. She tugged off his right spaulder and tossed the two onto the fur-lined nightstand, next to the wine.

“Yeah… I don’t get much sleep these days.” He tried cracking a joke when the silence stretched uncomfortably, but it was more true than he thought. Sleep had been hard. Since Umbara. Since Echo. Still, she let out a crackly laugh, so he counted that as a win. It made her look younger—her age—when she smiled. She climbed off of him. Immediately, he missed the weight. But then she settled against the headboard pressed up next to him. He let his head fall onto her shoulder. Faded blonde hair. A sharp collarbone. A young girl with a smoker’s voice. Unbidden, his thoughts wandered into speculation. How’d she get here? A girl who couldn’t be much older than himself, probably something like General Skywalker’s age. He didn’t know much about natties, but he knew people liked to hide what they didn’t like. Bury the ugly, misshapen creatures deep under the layers of Coruscant.

“You’re like a LAAT.” His voice was muffled from where he buried his face in her neck. Each breath disturbing strands of hair.

“What’s that?”

He paused.

“A gunship.”

He watched her throw her head back as she cackled. Catching her eye, she sent him a narrowed look. It was playful, and it made his head spin.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing.” He felt her scoff. “It’s…angular. Sharp. Like you.”

“Quite the charmer, aren’t you?” She drawled sarcastically. But it was true. Her cheeks were sunken in a way that only highlighted her sharp cheekbones and paralyzing green stare. He traced her spine until the small of her back, where he felt a dip. A little hollow where the planes of her muscles met. She was skinny in a scrappy sort of way. Small enough to seem unassuming, but sharp to the bone. It didn’t fit together in his mind. Wild blonde hair. Piercing green eyes. And angles and angles of corners and edges. His mind couldn’t fit all of her together into a coherent picture, so she existed in fragments.

His fingers accidentally slipped from their gentle exploration and slid under the waistband of her red panties. For a moment, his calloused skin met the sloping curve of her ass. Despite the fog still lingering around his mind, the instinctive soldier’s perception meant he saw the moment she tensed. A jump in her shoulder. And then she relaxed. Frowning, and feeling a sudden knot in his chest, Fives pulled away from her and set his hands in his lap like a scolded cadet. The only contact remaining was her shoulder touching his. He felt like apologizing, but for what, he wasn’t sure.

A glass of wine appeared in his vision.

“So what happened to you?”

Fives glanced at her. She waved his glass of unfinished shitty wine before him while brandishing her own refilled glass in her other hand. There was barely enough in his glass to make a pool at the bottom. He looked at her with an unspoken question.

“You’ve got fifteen minutes before I kick you out my flat. They say talking to a stranger is easier ‘cause you never see ‘em again, so.” She swirled her drink.

“My brother died.” The wine hit harder now that his mind was a little more clear. Could probably substitute speeder fuel for whatever was in it. Katja sipped her wine like she was dragging a smoke. Eventually, she replied.

“That’s pretty shitty.”

Fives wanted to laugh at what laughably colossal understatement that was. Instead, he just laid his head on the shitty broken wine glass. His forehead dug into the rim, painful where the chipped part bit into skin, and his eyes met the hypnotic dark swirl. “Yeah. I got a lot of brothers. Millions. They die every day fighting this war. But I don’t really care, not really, ‘cause they’re not Echo. Or- well, I do care. But only once they’ve stopped moving. And their number’s on the KIA. Then it hits me. And it’s my fault.”

He wanted her to be horrified. Hit him. Pull away.

“Why’s it your fault?”

“I’m an ARC,” he said, like it explained everything. “I should be better than the average. I should be able to do incredible things. I should save people. And I should give a shit about ‘em before they’re a twitching pile of flesh on the floor with ‘ey’re face burnt off. I don’t though. It all goes by so fast. One minute he’s there ‘nd then he’s not and honestly, I kinda like not caring. A shitty person’s gotta do shitty things.”

For a moment, she was silent. He shouldn’t be surprised really.

“Why’d you come here? Even the Guards hardly ever come here. Not unless one of us lowlives killed a politician or something.”

Fives downed the rest of his wine and set it aside. The wooziness was nice. “I beat up one of ‘em so I came here to cool down. Pretty sure the Corries have it out for me now.”

“You beat up one of the Guard?” She sounded almost impressed.

“Yeah. He used to be 501st. One of us ‘til he betrayed us. He was such a rule following uptight snot. Traitor. Tried to kill us because he was too scared to disobey orders. He regretted it though. Shot the bastard, Krell—a Jedi—but he manipulated us and another battalion into a friendly fire incident where we were shooting at our own men. Pulled a bunch of shit that got a lot of good men killed. Dogma shot him, and I’m glad it was him that went into re-conditioning for it instead of the captain.” He paused, feeling a bit guilty. “Echo would’ve liked him. He was such a rule-follower.”

He remembered the rage, seeing Dogma and that fuckass face tat. Then his memory blanked, and all he recalled was being pulled off of him by a half dozen Corries, all yelling about what the fuck was wrong with him. He chuckled, and it sounded pathetically dry.

“Echo? Your brother?”

“Yeah. Mine.” Because before Echo was anything, he was Fives’ brother. He turned to her, voice catching in his throat and wavering slightly.

“Can,” he paused, drunkenly wondering if it was a good idea. “Can I hold you?”

She raised her eyebrow and shrugged, finishing off her own glass.

“You paid for me.”

“Can I?”

“Nine minutes, lightweight. Then you gotta go.” She chucked a half open tin of something at the light switch, and the dim orangey light shut off. He made himself comfortable and laid down beside her. Pulling the covers over them, she faced him. Their breath mingled. His eyes hadn’t adjusted, but he could see the outline of her face under a sliver of moonlight.

“Can you,” he whispered, “can you turn over?”

“Mm.”

Fives laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. Shuffling forward, he pressed around her and she put her head onto his other arm. For a moment, the two just breathed. Her back pressed against his front. He was grateful she didn’t mention the way his hands shook.

“I saw him today.” He said it into blonde hair. “Dogma. After he shot Krell, he was sent to Kamino to be re-conditioned. I don’t know what happened next, but it looks like he was reassigned to the Corries.” He moved his hand slowly, asking for unspoken permission, and curled it around her waist with his palm pressed against her warm stomach.

“I saw him,” he breathed. “And I wanted to kill him. I wanted to beat his nose in until he drowned in his own blood. Nearly did. He let me.” He buried himself in her, in her scent, to try and hide the sob building in his throat.

“He looks like Echo, he talks like Echo. Fuck, he- “ His voice lowered, until it was barely a whisper. “He used to read reg manuals in his bunk and track their updates through pinging GAR comms, and I’d given Echo shit for that since we were five.” He choked. His arm tightened around her.

“But he’s alive when Echo is-”

Dead.

A hand pressed against his. Calloused and rough, like his.

“Sounds like he deserved it.” Katie’s voice came out brittle and careless. Fives jerked.

“What- no.”

“You don’t think he deserved to get his ass beat?” He felt her tap his hand absentmindedly, like she was thinking about Dogma getting his face broken. “Didn’t he try to kill you?”

“Yeah but-” Fives struggled to speak through the emotions welling up in him. “He doesn’t- doesn’t deserve to…die.”

“Hmm, then I guess that’s your answer,” she mused. She played with his hand, poking at his callouses. “You’re a good man.”

“Am I a good clone?”

“Sure.”

He curled into her.

“Is it too late to have sex?”

The unexpected question startled a cackle from the girl he was cradling. Fives pouted at her from where he was nestled into her neck, feeling Katja shake with laughter in his arms.

“Pfft- you got three minutes left before I kick you to the curb, grunt,” she snorted, unsuccessfully stifling her laughs with a hand. “I’m good but not that good. Hah.”

“M’being serious,” he mumbled into her skin. “Can I take you on a date sometime?” Katja snorted again.

“You’re drunk.”

“You’re pretty.”

“I cost twenty credits. Not the most high-end thing around these parts.”

“You should charge more.”

“Haha right. Like how much?”

Fives squinted in the dark.

“Well I think m’ brothers and I cost like, ten thousand credits a man, so you sh’ld do that but like…like divided by the hour. Buuut you’re also like, way prettier than us so maybe like more.” He paused, scrunching his face and trying to do the mental math.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually trying to figure that out,” Katja laughed, slapping the hand around her stomach and pushing her shoulder back to nudge him. Fives buried his face into her heady scent, content in knowing she was laughing because of him.

“Can I just stay here? Like this.” He breathed in the smokiness that wreathed her skin. “Just, just for a second.”

He fell asleep before he could hear her reply.

A/N: I wrote this listening to the live Mary On A Cross by Ghost on repeat. That band and their fans have peak vibes and energy. 10/10 would smash. The title is just their lyrics, though I changed one word because I always heard it as “your beauty never really scared me” instead of “never ever scared me.” Also, just wanna say that sex work is valid and should be respected as a profession, however that’s not to say the industry doesn’t have incredibly dark aspects. I hope I wrote this fic well and handled the topic with the care it requires. 

@orangez3st @clonexocweek

[p5x-theories]

What We Know About Cattle

(last updated 7/4/25!)

Lufel, codename Cattle, is an owllike creature with amnesia, who finds and recruits the protagonist as a phantom thief at the start of the game. He knows a lot about the Metaverse, including how to change hearts, and says it's because he's from the Metaverse. His Arcana is listed in the files as Hope.

Note that the official English translation of Lufel's name was not confirmed until the global announcement on 5/15/25. Posts on this blog made before this date refer to him as "Ruferu", the Japanese spelling of his name. His name was also mistranslated as "Luffy" by fans very early on, so this name is sometimes attributed to him by fans, and some of the P5X app store pages seem to refer to him as "Lefaye" (likely a reference to Morgan Le Fay, like Morgana), though it's unclear what the context behind that translation is.

In the Metaverse, Lufel is a very short, humanoid figure with owl features, as pictured above. Like Mona, he's also able to turn into a car. Outside the Metaverse, Lufel is a white owl, whose speech can't be heard by most people. People with the MetaNav on their phone seem to be able to understand him whether or not they've been inside the actual Metaverse, and Lufel himself says it has to do with having desires, as people who have given up their desires can’t hear him.

The codename "Cattle" is one he picks for himself, though he says he doesn't know why. It's most likely a reference to his Persona, who was a cattleman before he became an outlaw. The Megami Tensei wiki also notes that “His code name in Japanese (キャトル, kyatoru) means the English word "Cattle," but is also the Japanese representation for the French word Quatrelle, which is the spoken aloud alternate name for the Renault 4 or 4L [...] which serves as the basis of the vehicle Lufel can transform into."

His Japanese voice actress is Ai Nonaka.

Lufel is a Confidant of Wonder's, and its progression seems to be tied to story events. Unlike other Confidants in this game, Lufel only has ten ranks listed (as of Version 1.2).

At the start of the game, Lufel follows Wonder around, and decides to recruit Wonder when he sees Wonder is the only person in the train station to react to a woman jumping off a building. When Wonder accidentally enters Mementos, Lufel finally introduces himself, helps lead Wonder out of the Metaverse, and teaches him how to fight. He later explains the Metaverse, shadows, Personas, and changes of heart to Wonder.

His amnesia seems to be tied to the Metaverse, and specifically the Palaces, as he regains a bit of his memory each time he comes in contact with another Treasure. Lufel is determined to steal all seven of the Treasures he can sense, to fully regain his memory, but recognizes he can't do it alone. He's happy to have a team, and is sometimes exasperated by them, but overall seems to respect their contributions.

While Lufel is able to sense Palaces, it's not purely through smell like previous characters, but also through sound. Lufel can hear the "voices of the Collective Unconscious(/the Heart)", and follow those to a Palace, particularly if they've identified the Palace ruler in advance and have information about their misdeeds.

Notably, while Cattle's well-versed on how the Metaverse and phantom thievery within it works, he hasn't stolen a heart prior to the first Palace, and in general, his know-how doesn't seem to extend to things related to the Velvet Room. While he accepts the cognitive teammates quickly after Wonder explains what a "Phantom Idol" is, he doesn't quite understand them, and immediately says Wonder can be in charge of them, even before Wonder is established as the leader.

Lufel's role unsurprisingly seems to parallel Morgana's in the original P5. In the P5 Collab, other characters comment on their similarities, though both Morgana and Lufel take offense to this.

While Lufel is serious, and seems to be the unfazeable type who thinks things through and is rarely caught off-guard by a surprise, he's not usually overly rude or condescending. He doesn't take his teammates' help for granted, and actually asks Motoha and Wonder whether they want to continue working with him after the first Palace when he remembers there are other Treasures, rather than assuming.

He also doesn't seem to be embarrassed easily, and has no problem letting Motoha pick him up if he can't see something, or letting Wonder hold a phone out to him so he can talk on it. He can come across as just a bit childish, not in an immature way, but in how he interacts with others due to his small size.

However, while he maintains a dignified air, and talks like a bit of an old man, he's not entirely above silliness. He seems to care a lot about food, particularly meat, and is devastated when he doesn't get to eat what they ordered at Ashouken. His tendency to use big and obscure words sometimes leads to confusion from his teammates as to what he's saying. He's also very protective of his taste in fashion, taking extreme offense when someone insults his hoodie.

Above all, though, he seems primarily focused on his work as a phantom thief. He doesn't seem to particularly care what his teammates' motivations for working with him are, as long as he has them, but personally is very goal-oriented and will pursue any obstacles until he finds a way around them. To this end, he tries to be upfront with information (though he will occasionally keep something to himself if it's incomplete, or he thinks it may mislead the others) and generally strives to keep their efforts moving forward.

Cattle's Persona, Rob Roy (based on a Scottish outlaw and folk hero), is already awakened at the start of the game. He's categorized as a Fire type, and resists Fire while being weak to Wind.

Rob Roy is a Medic Persona, meaning he focuses on healing companions, and his trait gives teammates stat buffs when he heals. His fire attack skill is standard, while his single target heal skill becomes more powerful the lower the teammate's health is, and his multi-target heal skill increases teammates' healing effect. His passive skills make it so when he attacks, he buffs companions, and his healing ability is boosted by his own max health value.

In combat, his melee weapon is a pair of tonfa, while his ranged weapon is a blowgun. His Highlight is shown from 3:20-3:31 in this video, and heals the whole team and buffs their attack.

His recommended card sets are 1) 2 of Cups (Love) + Page of Wands (Acceptance), 2) 4 of Coins (Power) + Page of Coins (Growth).

The game recommends teaming him up with 1) Panther, Key, and Okyann, 2) Closer and Mont.

A Summer version of Cattle appears in the Summer event, though not as a separate unit. His design concept art:

[neolxzr]

if you wanna yap more about the au id love to hear btw!! and can't wait to see the little comics if out post them :D

OK PERHAPS JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE ...

(revision after i wrote everything. it was not a little bit)

i imagine it all starts off where till is off doing his normal cryptid hunting things in the woods on like a friday evening and happens to catch a glimpse of sua and ivan outside of a spaceship in the middle of the woods. he watches one of them transform into their human form from a far distance, and manages to snap a singular blurry photo. the flash goes off and gives away his location, though, so he instinctually runs off before he can see more

(btw, the disguises don't change their clothes, only their body. the human clothes are real. although they were probably synthesized through weird alien technology or they stole them not 100% sure yet)

cut to monday, he's in class, and one of his teachers introduces two new students who have just transferred to their school from some unspecified other country. till is immediately like THATS THE ALIEN I SAW BEFORE and the two of them also talk strangely and have some weird device attached to their ears. he calls them out for being aliens, in front of the entire class, very embarrassingly, though of course this gets him nowhere.

i dont have like this ENTIRELY planned out at the moment but pretty quickly the main 4 settle into a sort-of friend group. mizi is incredibly friendly and befriends the two new students immediately, and till reluctantly spends as much time as possible with the two of them out of wanting to protect her and keep an eye on them for possible funny business. mizi doesnt NOT believe till that ivan and sua are aliens, but she befriends them anyway. till and ivan immediately settle into the type of relationship the two of them had in anakt canonically---they're constantly bickering and probably getting into fights in the hallway.

as much as mizi and till are best friends, mizi is quite the busy gal. she's always involved with school events and is in multiple clubs so she's only free during lunch about twice a week, of which she always spends with till. the rest of the week, till spent that time alone until the aliens showed up. he doesn't think about it for a while but eventually realizes that maybe theyre not so bad to have around. till's mom tells him after a few months of having them around that he seems happier. he's not sure what to think about that

this au is just lighthearted silliness mostly, ivan coming up with (real? fake?) world-conquering schemes to rile up till and get his attention and mizisua slowly developing a very cute romance. some aliens come to earth and accidentally learn how to love.

i think what i settled on for ivan and sua is that they were in fact sent to earth to do some kind of scouting of the planet to see if its worth anything for their crazy conquering alien empire, but they pretty quickly discover that they actually kind of like it there despite all its flaws. they are eventually discovered (by a familiar face maybe?) as being "traitors to the empire" or whatever but itll all end up fine in the end i promise i have no angst bones in my body

if this was like a serialized TV show i would imagine after enough time has passed and its clear the aliens aren't really a threat to mizi or humanity or anything like that till just kind of accepts the fact that theyre here and part of his life and he allows himself to be fascinated by their existence and their technology. ivan shows him his disguise willingly and till probably stares into his eyes which look like tiny galaxies and its pretty gay. if i was a more prolific fic writer the ivantill romance would be such a slowburn

so like assuming this is a tv show like the first season (or maybe even two? idk) of the show would be almost entirely set on earth and then once some big season finale event thing happens they start having adventures in space afterwards. i want mizi and till to get alien disguises at some point i love drawing aliens if that wasnt obvious

OK SORRY this got out of hand i didnt mention everything cuz i wanna have some surprises but thats a bunch of my ideas ^_^

[calliecat93]

Made it through half of Season 1 yesterday. Disney+ has them in such a weird order, but I think I remember how they aired/the light S1 continuity enough that I've been able to figure out a watch order. A lot of my feelings are the same as they were ten years ago, but in order:

Stormy Weather: Simple, but effective. Does very well with establishing our leads (Marinette, Adrien, Alya), the typical formula, and has some of the season's best animation by far. It tells you exactly what this show is gonna be, and I love it! 5/5.

The Bubbler: Still really good. More character establishment (Nino, hole, Nathalie, Gabriel), some setting up of lore (like the power countdown) and long-term plot stuff (like Adrien's daddy issues), and is just really fun. It feels more personal compared to Stormy Weather, even if IDT its animation is quite as good, and combined with it does a great job in introducing us to the show. 5/5.

Timebreaker: It's fine. I like Alix and from what I've seen this may very well hint at a few things to come in later seasons. It has a pretty wild plot, as most time travel plots do, and is an overall funw catch. My only real issue is the moral where Alix learns to be more responsible... although she WAS responsible and trusted her friends with her watch so she didn't damage it during the race. SO I guess the moral is trust no one but yourself? Huh... okay then, hope you learned your lesson kids! If you ignore that, it's still a good episode. 4/5.

The Pharaoh: I think I liked this one more than I did when I saw it the first time, although I honestly forgot about this one so I could be wrong. I enjoy the villain's powerset, though IDK how well they actually got the Egyptian mythology but that's not my place. I do feel this one dragged a bit in the middle, like they were clearly stalling for time with having Cat Noir transform twice in the span of like... five minutes and have Ladybug trapped in a time bubble. Fortunately the first and last halves were good, some more lore establishment, and Alya being an utter delight as she blogged while being held captive XD 4/5.

Lady Wifi: Such a fun episode! I feel like Alya getting into trouble was deserved (also the school not having any personal privacy rules... WTF?!), but Chloe went way too far with making her get suspended instead of getting detention so Alya being upset was very much understandable. She proved an effective villain, and it's just a fun ride as she tries to unmask Ladybug and also allows Cat Noir to shine a little more in the climax. His choosing to respect Ladybug's choice to keep their identities secret when he very clearly wants to know? That scene hit hard then, and it did again now. 5/5.

Mr. Pigeon: This one's just silly fun, and I love it! Sometimes, you just need some silliness in your superhero show, and having the villain have control of pigeons is a great way to do that. It helps that it has a good B-Plot with Marinette trying to create a derby hat and actually getting to interact with Adrien, which is cute, funny, and cringe-inducing all at once, and I love it! It's nothing spectacular, but it's a solid, fun episode with a good B-Plot and that's all I ask for! 4/5.

The Evillustrator: I feel a lot more mixed about this, and that's mainly due to what happens in later seasons. The stuff with Nathaniel is fine, even if his crush on Marinette goes nowhere after this, but given who he gets paired with later, that's not a bad thing. Marinette and Cat Noir's interactions are fun, and having Mari mostly acting outside of her Ladybug guise is a fun change of pace. The B-Plot with Sabrina... God I hate these kinds of plots. I hate when the show tries to frame Mari as being like Chloe and watching someone like Sabrina fall back into being Chloe's willing slave, but I guess I'll have to endure it until S5... and this is just S1. Ho boy. Even before certain events I didn't like Chloe, so dealing with her here is not fun, but still the episode does its job and is at least fun. 4/5.

Rogercop: Did I mention that I don't like Chloe? Cause I REALLY don't like Chloe. Her dad is also... let's say I have conflicted feelings, though I think this was him at his worst (at least in my memory, it's been a LONG time). Also, while I see where Tom is coming from and she was being very accusatory, Marinette defending herself and pointing out that ANYONE could have stolen Chloe's bracelet and thus they all should be searched and not single just her out because Chloe said so was very much logical. She was very overzealous about it, I won't argue that, but still. Also, Rogercop was a really cool villain and I loved seeing Chloe and her dad get their due karma before the heroes took him down. Oh and Tom arguing with Chloe's dad, aka the freakin' MAYOR when they were accusing Marinette? Give that man a Best Dad Ever award! 4/5.

Copycat: I'd already soured on this one years ago, and BOY do I like it even less now. It's not unwatchable by any means, the fights are at least fun, but it does most everything wrong. I don't have any real issues with the B Plot as cringey as it is, but the main plot sucks. Copycat is a pretty uncreative villain, though I guess he does the job. Cat Noir may be at his worst here with how he caused the problem and very much overstepped his boundaries with saying he and Ladybug were together to Theo... and yet it's somehow LADYBUG who's at fault for not appearing at the unveiling and SHE has to apologize when Cat Noir caused the akuma?! No. Ladybug should have shown up instead of robbing Adrien's phone, but this was 100% Cat Noir's fault and he should have been the one apologizing. If it weren't for later on where Cat clearly hasn't learned about overstepping I wouldn't mind as much, but... yeah. It still has fun moments, like Cat Noir being framed and the final fight and it's at least not boring. But yeah, not one of the season's best imo. 2/5.

Dark Cupid: Given what I know about Kim in S5, it's a LOT harder for me to feel bad for him here, but I guess I'll reserve judgment until I actually get to S5. Still, it's fine otherwise. Although now that the show is at S6, I wish it had taken it's time more with the Ladynoir stuff because now it feels like they jumped into it way too quick to give them moments in case they didn't get renewed past S1. Then again I'm a slow burn girlie so maybe it's just me. I remember that this one was BIG back when it came out, though even then I just thought it was okay and it really started the 'have Cat Noir brainwashed/incapacitated and have Ladbug solve everything' trend that IDT did either character any favors as they relied on it more. Still it's fine overall and seeing Ladybug vs Cat Noir was pretty fun, not much else to say otherwise. 3/5.

Darkblade: This is another episode I didn't think much about when I first saw it, but I think I enjoyed a lot more this time around. Maybe because I've become more politically conscious since ten years ago, so seeing Marinette utterly own an awful, selfish person like Chloe, especially with the current state here in the states is a DELIGHT. Darkblade was actually a pretty fun villain and this is a really good one for letting Cat Noir be a badass without a lot of Ladybug around. Marinette being an amazing leader and winning her clasmate's trust as well as how her diary box trapped Sabrina and thus exposed Chloe was so freakin' good and a great way to let her shine outside of her Ladybug persona. It's a standard episode, but a really good one and I love seeing the good guy win over the corrupt opponent as they should! 4/5.

Horrificator: This, and to a lesser extent Darkblade, allows us to hang out with Marinette's class a good amount, and I love them for that reason. They all seem like a tight-knit group (aside from Chloe and they at least tolerate her) and I enjoy seeing their camaraderie in these types of episodes. Mylene is so relatable as someone who gets very scared very easily, and her and Ivan's relationship is too freakin' adorable for words. Watching them try to make a horror movie and Nino going full-on prima donna director was so fun without becoming too obnoxious and damn they were robbed at the end! It's a cute and kind of creepy episode, very much one to put on for Halloween! 4/5.

The Mime: I love this episode. The Mime is a fairly simple villain, but a VERY effective one. It has some of the best fights in the whole season and can rival Stormy Weather in the animation department. Marinette's plot is nothing new, though we do continue the Marinette vs smartphones battle that Copycat started so who am I to complain? I do love her and Alya's friendship and the way that Marinette makes up for deleting Alya's video on accident is so super sweet, especially with how guarded she often is as Ladybug. Adrien doesn't get much, but him and Ladybug staring at each other is so freakin' cute XD And I love seeing good dad's in the media, so Fred and Mylene's relationship truly makes me smile. The episode did everything right while being well-paced and entertaining, and is thus perfect as the midway episode of the season! 5/5.

All opinions are just that and should be taken with a grain of salt. With that said, 13 down and 13 more to go. Let's do this!

[wordsofhoneydew]

fic rec time!!!

please be mindful of the ratings and tags.

get him alone by @congee4lunch | E , 103k |

Alex looks at him, like Henry’s a speck of dirt on his pristine chinos. “Why would June send you to check up on me?”

“Because I’m her best friend and you’re her brother?”

“I always said she has bad taste.”

“Well,” Henry smiles. It feels as placid on his face as it probably looks. “I would say the same thing, but family doesn’t account for one’s taste, unfortunately.”

in which henry fox is june’s childhood best friend and alex claremont-diaz is june’s younger brother. as the years pass, they tolerate each other at best and are downright destructive at worst. until they begin falling into each other's beds.

Secret Swiftie by @england-would-fall | E , 2k |

Henry can't untie his tie. Alex is singing along to Taylor Swift while wearing impossibly tiny pants. It's a pwp, friends. You know the drill.

but if you could see us from a distance, you’d know i’ve always been so close to you by @anincompletelist | E , 10k |

Objectively, standing half-soaked from rainwater with a stitch in his side and an uncomfortable, raging hard-on outside his worst enemy’s door is not Henry’s finest moment. It’s not even on the list.

or, henry is afflicted with a curse-gone-wrong that stipulates that only his sworn enemy, alex claremont-diaz, can touch him.

Queer little ducks hold a special place in my heart. by anarchyat4am | T , 4k |

Henry’s at a local Hispanic Heritage Month event browsing the art stalls when his gaze catches on a kid looking around with both purpose and nervousness. She’s fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt with one hand while she bites the nails of the other one, eyes alert and searching. Lost, then.

And oh, Henry recognises her. She’s a regular at his bookstore, even at only six years old, and is there at least weekly with her dad—Alex, who she’d introduced to Henry as her papi—or various aunties and uncles, most of whom Henry doesn’t think are actually related to her. Keeping one eye on her, he lets his gaze sweep the vicinity but doesn’t see anyone else he even remotely recognises. Shit. He has to do something.

“Sirena?” he calls gently.

Henry... is more than a bit useless around hot guys. So when he finds the lost kid of the gorgeous dad who frequents his bookstore, he pulls himself together until they reunite, only to then be devastated by the revelation that the man thinks Henry hates him. And, well... courage always rises, and all that.

our world, min and his alone (the midnight train to go) by @firenati0n | T , 2.9k |

The posh accent hit Alex first, and he felt something curl in his gut. One of his amygdala brain worms did a little wiggle. He was unprepared for what was to come.

A pair of criminally long legs entered his vision, effectively vaporizing most of the brain worms (that's a first), except for the ones slowly starting to chant shoulders and thighs and hair and legs and thighs and Alex couldn’t do a goddamn thing to stop his increasingly horny train of thought. All trains had left the station.

Or, Alex asks a stranger to crack his back like a glow stick.

Or, an overnight train meet-cute.

[eod-agent-13-12]

A Complicated Color Code Day

No one knows who started the new tradition in the agency. One of the field agents introduced it and it spread to the others, until it became a new "game".

Unfortunately for a certain handler, he didn't get the memo until his agent decided to ask him to wear a certain color.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You don't want to wear anything that looks too much like the agency uniform we wear during formal events, Handler Sir." Agent Phoenix mumbled as they turned to their handler with a less than impressed expression.

"Agent, may I ask what's going on right now?" Reginald Crane looked at his agent, before looking at the new tweed jacket they got him. "It seems you had this planned for a while."

"Oh hush. Just wear it." They grinned, wearing a red jacket in contrast to their usual black. "... I look nice, right?"

"You do look nice, Agent." He replied, taking a quick glance at them as they waited for him outside. "You didn't have to stop by my actual house to hand this over to me."

"Nope. You're wearing that. It'll be fun. We field agents conspired our best to get our respective handlers to participate."

"And that is?"

"A shirt color code thing." They tried to hold back a laugh as they stood outside his door to allow him to change. "It'll be fun, promise."

"I wasn't aware the agency even had this tradition." He mumbled, closing the door to properly change. "And jackets are not shirts, Agent. They're different items of clothing."

"I know who started it but I'm not snitching. It's only a recent developement anyway. A lot of people wear red on Valentine's Day already. We managed to keep it under the radar but we got bored. So, we conspired and expanded the whole thing. Also, I don't really care about the difference."

"... Maybe we should've kept you at the Babadag base, Agent. Your lack of sensitivity to my beloved tweed jackets wound me."

"You're the one who insisted I get back to headquarters." They held back a chuckle as he examined the material and checked if it would fit him.

"After you decided to put sticky notes all over your office 'out of boredom'. Clearly, I can't trust you to be alone for a few hours."

"... It was actually a dare."

"By who?"

"I'm not snitching." Their tone signalled their less than impressed expression despite being blocked by the door. "Which agent even knows I was alive back then?"

"And here I thought he was the more responsible of the two of you."

Muffled laughter phased through the door. "Nah. He'd been worse of a troublemaker than I ever was. Then again, we'd been each other's co-conspirators for a reason."

"And what did you two conspire to do this time?" He raised a brow, soon opening the door as he went for a more casual (but still office friendly) look.

"It's color codes. Basically, every color has a meaning and well, it's just a little thing. Just to add a little flavor. Not everyone wants or has a date today."

"And what does white mean?"

"Not interested. Why?"

Reginald just sighed as he led them out of his house. "I see." He tossed them his keys as they approached closer. "I suppose I can deal with that for a couple of hours. This jacket feels nice to wear."

"Glad to hear that. This counts as a favor, by the way."

"What kind of favor?"

"Anything within reason. No record of it."

"I can hold onto it until it's important, yes?"

"Of course. I'll put it in writing too."

"No record but you put it in writing. At least be a bit more consistent, Agent."

"I'm an embodiment of chaos, Reg. Deal with it."

Phoenix laughed before starting the engine and driving to headquarters. Reginald swears they picked the sad sounding love songs on purpose, even if he didn't understand the lyrics. On the plus side, they were humming.

"But... If you're uncomfortable, you don't have to pretend. Just tell me."

"I do not pretend that often, Agent. I do like this one. It feels nice."

"... Reggie. I know the look of someone trying to remain calm while the other shoe drops so please don't try to trick me if it gets too much." Phoenix mumbles, unbuckling themself as soon as they parked. "Seen that look way too often."

The pair arrived inside, the office looking a few colors more lively than yesterday. Although a sight made Phoenix cackle a bit.

"... I didn't want this." Agent Typhoon mumbled, wearing a white long sleeved button down shirt, black pants and shoes. His agency identification hanging from a lanyard. "But apparently, my handler can be convincing if she wants to be."

"Don't lie. You also wanted to. Hah. You're wearing something similar to your old high school uniform. I suppose you get a pass since you're basically the baby of the division."

"Just because I'm yet to graduate from college doesn't mean-"

Reginald chuckled, taking time to slip past to look for Agent Typhoon's Handler in the Handler Breakroom.

"They handily gave us a list to know which colors mean what. We're running several missions, we don't have time for this." One of the other handlers sighed, crossing arms as the words cut off Reginald's words before he can even greet them.

"Take it easy, you killjoy. At least we're not getting pranks this time. It helps provide enrichment. And for others to get used to bluffing." Ellie huffed, wearing a purple shirt. "It's fun to at least know some boundaries between coworkers too. Purple means you're willing to flirt but nothing more."

"I keep seeing a lot of white and black when I looked around the office. Good morning, everyone." Reginald approached, taking steps to brew himself a cup of tea as soon as he clocked in.

"They mean the same thing, Mason. I'm surprised. I thought your agent would wear white or black." Ellie took a sip of her coffee as she leaned on the counter. "And good morning to you as well."

"They often surprise me. And everyone else. It's not that different this time." He took in the smell of tea as he relaxed. "Although I feel like this is more of a cover for something else."

"Someone put in chocolate in every agent's desk. Not them but someone. I don't know who though."

"I know my agent is behind that. I can feel it."

"But they have an alibi."

"As much as I'd like to ponder that, I believe we have work to do. I shall see you all during our lunch break." Reginald waved, bringing with him the tea as he settled in his office. "Agent, are you there?" He opened his microphone before turning on the camera feed to see them pouring over a stack of documents.

"These chain cases are terrible. Not to mention, I have an archive to look through. The last person who was employed in there didn't categorize anything other than date." Phoenix mumbled. "I'm settling it fine but I can sense a sleepless night brewing already." They leaned back on their chair as they looked through another page.

The knock on the door interrupted their conversation, only for Phoenix to laugh with tears. "... He's definitely a different breed."

"Instant noodles, Agent. I will not comment other than it's an unorthodox gift."

"I gave him roasted garlic."

The brief pause gave Reginald time to process. "... Of course you did. Are you behind the chocolates?"

"Yeah. But let's focus more on work now."

"This isn't how I imagined Valentine's day to go at all."

"Before you ask, we are going out after work later. Smitten and I."

"I hope you have fun, Agent."

"I will. Invite Dr. P out today, okay?"

"Florian."

Agent Phoenix laughed as they continued their work.

[quantumgender]

Day 2 of @radiomogai 's Experiences Event!

What are your experiences with names, pronouns, and other referential language?

Long response, so under the cut

Names:

I really love my birth name, which I feel can be unusual among other trans and nonbinary folk. I don't share it online mainly for privacy reasons, but I have a specific memory where, as a child, I made a necklace of beads that spelled out my name. I remember running my fingers over the beads and thinking that the letters looked like they belonged next to each other, and that I was very happy that it was my name. I still really enjoy my birth name. While my full name is feminine, I usually go by a shortened nickname, which was also considered pretty feminine, until recently a male celebrity started using the same nickname. I think that's made me feel even more comfortable with the name.

When it comes to my other names, listed on my names page, I consider a lot of them to be more "nicknames." That isn't to say that they're lesser than my birth name, but since I don't expect to ever change my birth name, I just look at them differently. I picked each of them myself, and while I do have favorites and preferences, they all just feel very "me." I get very happy when I think about them!

Pronouns

I've actually thought a lot about pronouns. I think that a lot of us online are really familiar with the singular neutral they/them, but aren't very familiar with the singular neutral he/him. I encountered it because I took a grammar class in college that used an extremely outdated book from the 1950s. Back then (and in even older legislative writing), he/him was used in a singular neutral way. This actually helped me understand my gender a bit better, because I had known I was nonbinary since I was around 15, but had never felt quite right with the pronouns they/them.

A lot of people use they/them and love it, but I never felt like myself when using it. To me, they/them feels too hypothetical and impersonal - like you're talking to someone and you don't know them or their gender. He/him feels warmer and more welcoming - it feels more like it belongs to me. To me, while it has masculine implications, it's not an exclusively masculine pronoun, and I feel like that suits me well. I do use other pronouns, and I have a massive hoard, but the other set I hold really close is thon/thons - an older set of pronouns that were introduced as a gender neutral singular set in the 1800s that never really caught on. I love how easy they are to use, with a cleaner conjugation, and the way they sound feels personal to me. Lastly, I really love using emojiself pronouns online. While I don't use them outside of written settings, I love being able to use technology to personalize my experience and express my gender in new ways. Referring to myself with ⚡ and getting to see a clear visual representation of my gender and self on the screen is really exciting to me, and just provides me with euphoria. I love expressing my identity through pronouns and nouns!

Other Language:

Sometimes I find other referential terms to be difficult. Especially for someone like me with a multigender identity, it can be hard to explain to others that while I like being called girl or gurl, calling me "lady" makes me feel disgusting. It can be especially difficult in more professional settings when the language is heavily formalized and gendered - because formality usually doesn't vibe with the way I view myself and my gender. Most referential terms I prefer are informal like guy, dude, girl, and bro. The only one that would fit in a professional setting would be man. This can also cause some difficulties when navigating lgbt+ spaces because I really, really hate the term "enby" despite feeling 100% comfortable and validated with the term nonbinary. Something about the shortening of the word just doesn't click well in my brain, and while I personally understand why I don't like the word, it can be hard to explain that to others without offending them, coming off as if I am making a political statement, or sounding like I speak for the entire community, when it's really just a strange personal preference I have. Lastly, I struggle with things like pet names and diminutives. My family has never been one to use cutesy nicknames - off the top of my head, I know I've been called "little one" as a baby and "twerp" in a lighthearted, affectionate way. Because I'm not used to them, terms like sweetheart, darling, dear, and beloved all come off as condescending or sarcastic to me, even if the person using the term is being genuine. I think I struggle a lot more with other referential terms as opposed to names and pronouns.

How does it relate or not relate to other aspects of your identity?

My names and pronouns connect to so many things, even extending beyond my gender identity.

 light / lightning, storm, bolt, li/lich/lichs/lichs/lichself, lux/lucif/lucifs/lucifs/luxself, spark/spark/sparks/sparks/sparkself, ele/elec/elecs/elecs/electricself, ⚡/⚡/⚡s/⚡s/⚡self, 🌩️/🌩️/🌩️s/🌩️s/🌩️self, and 💡/💡/💡s/💡s/💡self all have to do with my connection to lighting (and by extension, my nickname light). I've been connected to lightning since I was around 10 years old, and this is an absolutely essential part of my identity that transcends gender. It's just me.

eo / eobard, rival, nemesis, thon/thon/thons/thons/thonself, thon/thom/thor/thor/thomself, thau/thaum/thaums/thaums/thaumself, ty/tym/tyme/tymes/tymeself, ev/evil/evils/evils/evilself, vi/vil/vila/vilas/villainself, foe/foe/foes/foes/foeself, ri/rival/rivals/rivals/rivalself, ⏳/⏳/⏳s/⏳s/⏳self, and ⏰/⏰/⏰s/⏰s/⏰self, all connect to one of my main fictionkins, eobard thawne, in some way. In a way, although I discovered my connection to him several years after I knew I was already connected to lightning, those terms also feel connected to him and intwined in my identity.

cable, 📟/📟/📟s/📟s/📟self, ⏳/⏳/⏳s/⏳s/⏳self, ⏰/⏰/⏰s/⏰s/⏰self, and a few of the above mentioned time-related pronouns also are fictionkin related, due to the fact that I am fictionkin of cable (nathan summers).

dean, five / fives, ven / venom, ve/ven/vens/vens/venself, vi/vir/virus/virus/viruself, and 🥃/🥃/🥃s/🥃s/🥃self, are also all kin-related.

max and 🏴‍☠️/🏴‍☠️/🏴‍☠️s/🏴‍☠️s/🏴‍☠️self have to do with different characters I have created over the years.

neo, quant / quantum, xe/xen/xeno/xenos/xenoself, and ne/neo/neos/neos/neoself are all connected to my neogender and xenogender identities specifically

And I have many more connections! These were just the easiest to point out.