#that song easily fits for a sitcom

[goofygoldengirl]

I don’t know what sitcom needs seventy seven times 7 as it’s theme song, but it does

[takenbypeter]

Nothing Like Ross and Rachel

Adam Warlock x reader

Words: 1259

Authors Note: kinda continuation to A New Form Of Intimacy but it still makes sense on its own

You didn’t know what you unleashed after that first kiss with Adam, but it seemed like now he found any and every opportunity to connect your lips together.

You enjoyed kissing him just as much as he did you, but sometimes you found it to be a little much.

For example, when he’s running out to complete a quick, and I mean quick errand, or when you’re going out just to greet Cosmo.

Though most of the time you did find the whole scenario absolutely adorable, especially on days when he would visit, excitedly telling you about all the good that he performed during the day. It could be the simplest of deeds; helping someone with heavy items, or helping an animal, and after telling each story he’d then wait with his golden lips puckered slightly and you’d of course lean down to meet them.

Because, how could you say no to that face, plus like mentioned before you truly didn’t mind too, too much.

But because of this, you decided it would be quite amusing to play a little joke on him. It was simple, all you had to do was avoid kissing him. How hard could that be?

Adam arrived at your living quarters that night at his usual time but this time as you opened the door to greet him, instead of your typical kiss, you quickly hugged him in an embrace. If he found this odd he hid it well as he easily adapted, reciprocated your hug.

You hastily pulled him to your bed which you did almost every night. He got cozy under the covers as you turned the radio on.

Quill had given it to you as a gift the last time you all dropped him off on Earth and you were honestly truly grateful for the gift, especially since you’ve been missing television these past few years that you’ve spent on Knowhere.

With the radio though, of course it was only sound that would be emitted but you two considered that more than enough, still finding the entertainment very enjoyable.

Recently you two have gotten into Friends, with you claiming it was one of the top ten most iconic sitcoms to come to, and together you’ve been listening to it each and every night. And of course if at any point Adam found himself stuck on a mission you would always fill him in the next day.

As you got everything you needed you finally ran to your bed where Adam was already waiting as he held the covers up so you could fit in his arms. As you crawled in between his sturdy yet welcoming arms he puckered his lips a little and although you noticed it you chose to ignore, instead saying, “this is my favorite part!” You shouted, as you began to sing along to the theme song while doing the claps.

You tugged Adam’s arms, crossing them around you as you lay your head on his chest. You would find yourself laughing every now and then but noticed that Adam would just chuckle lightly, seeming to just follow your lead.

You noticed Adam’s fingers start to rub the tiniest of swirls against your arms. And then after a few moments he then relaxed his hands resting them around your upper arms before he squeezed them twice.

You made a point not to react.

Adam, still not picking up on anything, leans down pressing his lips against the top of your head to which you scrunched up your face, “Adam please. I’m trying to listen,” you said, making sure you were firm in your words.

And with that all his actions stopped and he was no longer laughing when you laughed. You were actually feeling a little bit of guilt.

Feeling conflicted, you decided to take the opportunity to use the bathroom and get your thoughts together.

“I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” you said as you gently pushed against his chest. Adam reached out, keeping you from distancing yourself too much.

You glance at him and were met with puckered lips as Adam clearly was waiting for a kiss goodbye.

Instead you pressed two fingers to them before successfully separating yourself from the boy, “Adam I’m just using the bathroom,” is what you said and you watched as his lips curved into an obvious pout.

“What if something happens?”

“Then I’ll just call you for help,” you said and all Adam could do was watch as you left the room.

In the bathroom you truly couldn’t decide if you should continue this whole prank that didn’t seem to be funny anymore, or if you should just end it.

Eventually you came to decide on the latter and exited the bathroom.

As you came to the main area you noticed Adam was now sitting upright in the bed with his arms pulled to his side as he stared off into the distance.

“I’m back,” you sang as you walked closer to where he sat.

Before you could explain yourself he asked the question, “are we on a break?”

The question caught you off guard for a split moment as you sat at the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, what?”

Adam pushes his hands against the cushions and shifts himself so he’s facing you. His eyebrows are curved in the center with clear worry written on his face as his eyes are wide. “Rachel and Ross fought before they went on a break. Are we on a break?”

“We’re not on a break.”

“You won’t kiss me! Did I do something wrong? Did I make you mad? Are we fighting?” His mind seems to just be coming up with more questions just as he expels them and you have to cup his face to bring his attention back to you.

“Adam we are not fighting, and we are most certainly not breaking up…unless…” your brain suddenly wondered if he thought of the possibility before, “you want to?”

You didn’t think it was possible but his eyes got even wider, “no, never!…do you?”

“No of course not! This was just a stupid prank I’ve heard about. I thought it would be funny but now it’s just upsetting.”

“A prank?”

“Yes, a joke…” your hands finally leave his cheeks as your head ducks down, beginning to feel awful about the whole thing you’ve put him through, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was mad…I’m sorry.”

You didn’t expect him to become this upset, but in all honesty you completely understood his reaction. Truly it wasn’t even that funny of a prank.

You were really just feeling awful sitting there having upset both him and yourself but now Adam was the one to cup your own face, his golden fingers lightly resting against them.

He tilts your head up and you look into his eyes for a mere moment before he pushes his lips into yours.

You comfortably give in, matching his movements before you both distance from each other, but Adam kept his forehead against yours, “I’m just glad you still love me.”

You grinned, giving him a quick peck again, “I never stopped,” you reminded.

Adam pulled you back into his arms as you two resumed listening to the episode.

“I can’t believe you thought we were Ross and Rachel, those two are very toxic together. If anything were like Bananahammock and Crap Bag,” you added.

“Who?” He asked not having gotten that far in the show yet.

“Oh you’ll find out.”

[coreofmyfruits]

HEAD CANNONS !

★ Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

Stu Macher ↓

Physical traits

Pigeon toed

6'4

Has to usually duck down through door ways

Slouchy posture

Has immense upper back pain

Prone to head aches

Left handed

Large hands (Billy calls them monkey paws)

Warm hands

Has a bunch of scars on his knuckles

Has a lot of scars in general but they accumulate in the same general areas

Personality

ADHD

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)

Stu got diagnosed with ADHD at a young age due to always being an interruption in class and especially silent reading, always having to get up and be doing something. Not too long after he got diagnosed with ASD because of his lack of awareness and his parents concerns about him being behind in class work (he just wasn't doing it). Stu never got properly diagnosed with NPD he never even thought of himself being a narcissist.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (mainly psychological thrillers)

His favorite movie is Eraserhead

Favorite color is black (because when he first met Billy he thought Billy's eyes looked black)

Loves to read

likes to read to Billy in silly voices (especially when it gets to a 'serious scary' part of the book)

Likes Edgar Allan Poe and Oscar Wilde

He likes hip hop and rap but really likes ska punk and surfer punk (queercore is also a must)

Likes low riders

Unironicaly loves the show Pimp my Ride

Actively ghost rides the whip

Wants a jacuzzi in his car because of Pimp my Ride

Likes to compare hand sizes with Billy because it pisses Billy off

Uses Billy's head as an arm rest

Steals Billy's clothes specifically his pants because they're baggy enough to fit but he can wear them as low-rise and he loves when Billy tells him to take off HIS pants because Stu looks 'stupid'

Stu just likes it when Billy turns red and tells him to take off his clothes

Always an opportunity to carry Billy anywhere bridal style never an opportunity not to

The scent of Billy's shampoo and how he naturally smells like pinecones and rain

Antique surgical tools

Dislikes

Bitches, cunts, liars oh my!

Sydney, not because he's jealous of her and Billy but because he used to have a crush on her

Betrayal

Abandonment

Being ignored

Talked over

Fish he fucking hates fish

The beach after it rains

Tooth pain

Unneeded laugh tracks

Sitcoms

YA romance novels

White women audacity

Starbucks

Lines

Victim mentality and complexes

Billy's stubborness

Love languages

Acts of service

Words of affirmation

Physical touch

Sexuality

Bisexual

Billy Loomis ↓

Physical traits

Slightly bow legged

5'9

Overly Straight posture

General neck pain

Tense shoulder muscles

Has Hyperacusis

Prone to migraines

Left handed

Shorter fingers wide palms and strong grip strength

Always has cold as fuck hands

Has a lot of scars mainly on his middle to lower back

Half Mexican

Easily tans

Frizzy hair

(slightly) Allergic to red food dye

Personality

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

ASPD (anti social personality disorder)

Billy has not been diagnosed with either ASD or ASPD he's not even aware of the possibility of him having one especially not both at once. Billy's father was never around enough to notice Billy's acute behaviors or to even think of getting a specialist to diagnose him also Mr.Loomis is a lawyer it wouldn't look good for his job if his son was 'crazy'.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (slashers)

Favorite movie is before sunrise

Favorite color is teal (he would never admit it but it's because Stu looks good in teal)

Mainly listens to the same three bands (pixies, Radiohead, my bloody Valentine)

Loves the song pink triangle by weezer

Has a guilty pleasure for 40s and 50s love songs

Likes to draw

Favorite artist are Keith Haring, Andy Worhal and Francis Bacon

Draws like Franz Kafka (he doesn't know who Franz Kafka is this is just a reference to what I think his drawings would look like)

Really likes playing in the mud and jumping in puddles

Loves worms

Eats the shit out of some Oreos

Plain hotdogs

Likes how large Stu's hands are

How Stu smells like warm wool and fire

When Stu picks him up

Biting Stu (mainly his shoulders)

Stu in HIS pants

Tea

When Stu reads to him

Blood

Phantom skulls

Dislikes

Sydney, he's never even liked Sydney not before he found out about her mom and his dad and especially not after... He just always had this feeling

Tatum Riley (he looks better on Stu)

Cops pigs and donuts

Healthcare system in America

Abandonment

Betrayal

Being cut off

Being hung up on

Noise in general

Phone bills

Lawyers

Ableist(ism)

Ableist infrastructure

Gender pay gap

Misogynists

Hamburgers

Poppyseed buns

Layering clothes (he would rather freeze than put more than over shirt on)

Socks

Shoes in the house

Hot weather

Sweating

Baths

Coffee

Reading

Love languages

Words of affirmation

Acts of service

Gift giving

Sexuality

Asexual (non sex repulsed) and queer

★

Tags !

@ghostfacemp3

[meishouse]

media i could talk about for hours

Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (dir. Peter Ramsey, Bob Persichetti, Rodney Rothman) & Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse (dir. Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers) You know ther story, after being bit by a radioactive spider, Miles Morales becomes Spider-Man and soon is embroiled in a battle to save the multiverse after he collides with alternate versions of himself. These two movies are easily, in my opinion, some of the greatest feats of animation I've ever seen. With the clear and concrete understanding of the rules of animation, the brilliant animation team, bend and break those rules so perfectly to fit the story and to further foreshadow the storyline. Plus, with an amazing two soundtracks produced by Daniel Pemberton and Metro Boomin, respectively, the movie has this amazing connection with lovers of hip hop and trap music.

Saltburn (dir. by Emerald Fennel) in which wealthy Felix sympathises with his newfound friend's living situation and invites him to spend the summer with him and tragedy soon engulfs the entire family. Okay first of all, that synopsis does not do the movie justice, anyone who's seen Saltburn will back me up on this, but there's truly no combination of words that could even begin to describe the beauty of both the plot and visuals of Saltburn. The story and plot simply unrivals anything else I've seen, the use of music throughout was absolute perfection and iconic. If you've not seen it yet, you really should.

Fleabag (dir. Harry Bradbeer, Tim Kirkby (pilot)) based on the book written by the wonderfully witty Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag is a series following a woman (known only as Fleabag) with a dry sense of humour navigating life and love in London whilst dealing with the grief of her best friend. The series is nothing short of pure, unbridled brilliance, it is raw and real and honest and so tenderly human. It is one of those shows that left me wishing I could relive watching it for the first time, over and over.

Bojack Horseman (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg) a show about a humanoid horse, a famous 90s sitcom star, who struggles with substance abuse amidst his desire for a comeback. The series took place over six seasons and follows the growth of Bojack and his friends. Bojack Horseman encouraged me to question several of my own morals while confronting the complexity of people and the complexity of morality. And yet, it does this so simplistically, almost without you really realising it, captivating your attention in a spell. It also targeted many real-world issues without being overwhelming. A truly binge-worthy show.

Someone Great (dir. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson) dumped by her long-term boyfriend, music journalist (played by Gina Rodriguez) recruits her two best friends for one last outrageous adventure before she leaves that chapter of her life for good. Now, I think Someone Great did the perfect job of depicting love, in all its form and stages, in such a visually powerful way. The soundtrack features songs by Lorde, who is a visionary in powerful, emotional, lyrics on both love and heartbreak. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson managed to, in my humble opinion, perfectly encapsulate the feeling of first love (and heartbreak) throughout the movie. Someone Great, is, for this reason, my favourite movie of all time.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Character List and (Y/N)

Genderbend animated Sitcom wifes x Yandere motherly Seriel killer reader

Name (Y/N) (L/N)

Age 22

Gender: female

(Eye color): (e/c)

(Hair color): (h/c)

Appearance:

your a tall woman with (e/c) eyes and (h/c)You have long hair that usually up in one or two buns and you wear glasses.

Personality: You are an enigma and Mystery. You are a Recluse who runs a bakery called Katz Kafe a kid and animal friendly Cafe in the middle of the Neighborhood. You are a quiet young woman who loves animals and children and because of that you are more of an Observer then a talker But at night, you are a serial killer called hellcat And you target abusive parents who disregard and harm their children So therefore you also take the kids You save to either foster care or a new home while leaving proof and evidence that the parents were not fit to raise their child. When you come out of you she'll your friendly, care, protective, intelligent, and wise and you give fairly good advice. You yourself had some parents who abused you and your siblings and when you were 11 you murdered your parents in cold blood and proceeded to do the same to any parents who do the same to their children.

(Normal) Shy, kind, caring, protective, paranoid, Fierce, motherly, gentle, loving, harmless

(HellCat) sadistic, vindictive, mean Spirited, harsh, realistic, jaded, Short tempered, lethal

Powers/abilities

weapon use: you have a spiky club you use to kill your victims. You named it Excaliblog😵

Cooking: you are very good at cooking and baking you make free samples for the children and homemade healthy animal treats for their pets.👩‍🍳

Hyper awareness: you can hear things from miles away and pinpoint where it's coming from🫡

Night vision: you trained yourself to see and kill in the dark 😶‍🌫️

Teaching: you are an incredible teacher from Academics to self defense you can teach anybody anything you mainly tutor the children 🤓

Self defense: you are a fighter from professional to street fighter 😷

Super strength: Nobody knows how strong you truly are not even yourself but you could easily lift an school bus😤

Info broker: you know what goes on around the city even though you're not there🧐

Speed: you are very fast you once chase a bus you missed all the way to the next stop😛

Unlimited Stamina: your never Tired period it's never gonna happen 😑

Rage Quit: if someone were to hurt or threatened someone you love or a small child infront of you, you'll fly into a fit of blind pitch black rage that usually leaves blood on you hands ✋️🤬🤯

The genderbends lover Boys/Men

Marge simpson/Mark simpson (the simpsons)

Lois Griffin/ Lewis Griffin( Family Guy)

Francine Smith/ Francis Smith(American dad)

Donna Tubbs/ Donnie tubs (the Cleveland show)

Queen Dagmar /King Denmark(disenchantment)

Jenny hart/ Jake Hart(bless the harts)

Linda Belcher/ Lipten Belcher(Bob's burgers)

Gayle Genarro/ Gabe Genarro (Bob's burgers)

Peggy hill/ Pennsy Hill (king of the hill)

Nancy Gribble/ Nathan Gribble (king of the hill)

Minh Souphanousinphone/Mink Souphanousinphone (king of the hill)

Turanga leela/ Turango Lero(futurama)

Amy wong/ Alvin Wong(futurama)

Labarbara Conrad/ Lawson Conrad(futurama)

Beth Smith/ Ben Smith(Rick and Morty)

Riley Regan/ Ruckus Regan(inside job)

Paige Tillerman/ Pac Tillerman(Central Park)

Abby Hunter/ Albert Hunter(Central Park)

Helen Morgendorffer/ Hal Morgendorffer (Daria)

Honeybee Tobin/Wasp Tobin (the great North)

Sharon Marsh/Seymour Marsh (South park)

Liane Cartman/Lance Cartman (South park)

Carol Mccormick/ Calvin Mccormick(South park)

Sheila Brofloviski/ Sheldon Brofloviski (South park)

Annie Harris/Anthony Harris (Duncanville)

Diane Birch/Danny Birch(big mouth)

Monica Foreman-Greenwald/Marvin Foreman-Greenwald (big mouth)

Shanon Glaser/Shane Glaser (big mouth)

Lana kane/Lenny kane (Archer)

Dr Jill/ Dr Jack (Housebroken)

Your theme songs:

Ok New Character Bio Done!🥳

That's alot of men huh?🤭

Well that's how special you are😏🤤😉

As Usual Leave Comments!!!!!

[fat-fem-and-asian]

Sarah Snook Filmography Review w/ Links

I love the range in Snook's stuff. She's done horror, comedy, romcoms, historical documentaries, and she's amazing in all of them. She's done a LOT of short films - seen, alice, nightingale floor, the poet and the plant. I enjoyed Alice a lot, it's adapted from a song (??) And just 8 minutes of snook frolicking in the woods. For her bigger work - Most of them are fairly accessible so deep diving her filmography was fun and easy. Anything ommited is either 1) I couldn't find a way to easily watch it 2) her role is so small it's not worth mentioning. ♡ - my personal favorites

All Saints - Snook's first tv appearance! She plays a young woman with appendicitis. stock standard medical procedural guest spot and it's on hulu.

Sisters of War - A historical biographical drama! she plays Lorna White, an Aussie nurse who survived being a POW in WWII. It's a well made tv movie and Snook gets to really show some range. You can watch on a few different websites, but I used Tubi.

Packed to the Rafters - TW for planned sexual assault. She's got a two episode guest spot on this Aussie sitcom as a college student who becomes involved in a sexual assault case. The assault is nongraphic, but I can't say she's given enough of a plotline to make it worth it.

Spirited - An Aussie comedy drama of this lady and a bunch of dead ghosts in a hotel? Snook joined in the 2nd season as a minor supporting character and she's only got a few scenes, but if you want to see her in a funky schoolgirl fit, it's on amazon for free.

Not Suitable for Children ♡ - A cute and raunchy Aussie romcom. She plays Stevie, the girl best friend turned serious love interest. Snook is adorable and does a great job with a kind of underwritten role. viewer discretion for nudity and sex - free on youtube :)

These Final Hours - Apocalypse drama. She's only in one scene and plays a lady high off her ass who's searching for her kid. if you wanna see her shake and shout then go for it! also on youtube.

Predestination ♡ - TW for nonconsensual medical procedure. I highly recommend! It's a loopy time travel movie set in the 1960s. Kinda. Spoilers - Snook plays Jane and John, a trans man who has an gender reassignment surgery after giving birth. Snook absolutely blew me away in this, the way she plays John and his transition is just stunning. Is it good trans rep? Not really, but I'm not expecting it either from a 2014 sci fi flick. I watched on this website, please don't get a virus.

Jessabelle - Snook received her SAG card for this movie! She's got the lead role as Jessie, a woman who moves back in with her father in Louisiana after a car accident. Horror movie and I think intended to be a more thoughtful exploration of white violence, but it really comes off as offensive in its use of black spirituality, especially with a primarily white cast. Snook has some great scenes though and the location is gorgeous -- also she had a very funny interview where she thought she tanked the film by doing a North Carolina accent instead of Louisianian. Free on Tubi

Holding the Man - Very cute gay film about AIDS. She plays a best friend and is only in the first few scenes and the last few, if I remember right. No memory of how I watched it.

The Secret River ♡ - TW for graphic violence. Miniseries (only about 2 hours total) about Australian colonialism. It's well made and Snook is great as Sal, one of the colonizers who's moved to Australia from the UK with her family. She's got great chemistry with Oliver Jackson-Cohen and overall just a nice miniseries that's also free on iview :)

Steve Jobs - Snook's only in a handful of scenes and it's mainly her running around and talking into a headset! Good movie though! Also no memory of how I watched it

The Dressmaker - Weird Aussie film with Kate Winslet and gorgeous dresses. Snook has a supporting role as Gertrude, the ugly duckling of the town who gets a makeover into a swan :) She's a mean girlfail in this and I did seriously laugh at a scene where she just falls SO hard on her ass. There was brief weird orientalism in this, but otherwise a solid movie. On Amazon Prime.

Oddball - Aussie feelgood children's movie! She's a conservationist park ranger mom to a precocious little girl who just wants to save the penguins. It's a kids movie, so super simple, but Snook is solid and if I was an aussie kid I would have formed a deep deep crush on her. Free on Tubi! The Beautiful Lie - Okay. I'll be honest and say I skimmed this at 3am weeks ago, so I don't remember it well. It's a miniseries loosely adaptated from Anna Karenina and a pretty slow drama. Snook is Anna, a rich tennis player who struggles with infidelity - so like. Shiv 0.5. I wouldn't personally recommend it, but if you wanna see Snook in some cute silk shirts, go for it. Posted on Dailymotion.

Black Mirror - Snook has a minor role in the episode Men Against Fire. It's fine? I seriously don't know what to say -- she plays a squadron leader and dies halfway in. On Netflix. Discretion advised for violence!

The Glass Castle - Drama movie w/ Brie Larson! Snook plays the adult version of the oldest daughter of an abusive family. Honestly, she doesn't have much to do in it, but she does wear cute glasses and frankly looks gay. to me. On Netflix.

Winchester - Another horror, this time w/ Helen Mirren who REQUESTED! that Snook be in the film or she wouldn't do it. Icon! She's only in a handful of scenes and most of them are her running after her creepy little son, but I would personally watch it just for a green dress she wears. Other than that a fairly boring movie that's pretty to look at. Free on Tubi.

Brother's Nest - She's in the last five minutes as this poor lady who just wants to buy a horse. Could not tell you anything more because I skimmed it. Tubi link! Warning for graphic violence, but not in Snook's scene.

American Pickle - She's just in the first scene as Seth Rogen's wife! Would watch again to see her knaw into a picked herring <3 No memory of how I accessed it sadly

Pieces of a Woman - TW for graphic depiction of birth that ends in a stillborn. Snook has a supporting role as a lawyer who hooks up with Shia Lebouf. I don't know if I have much to say about this movie outside of it's really intense and jarring birth scene in the beginning. Snook is cute as always? On Netflix.

Koala Man - I refuse to watch this I'm sorry. Msg me if I should but I cannot do it w/ another adult animation in that art style.

Run Rabbit Run - TW for physical/mental child abuse. She's the lead in a psychological horror as a mother grieving the loss of her father. There's a creepy little kid, a creepy bunny, and some stunning shots of the Aussie outback. Is it a good horror film? Not really, it's repetitive and slow with little to no emotional stakes. Is Snook good in it? Yes. She swings wildly from emotion to emotion in this and truly sells that she is losing her mind. She's also got some sweet moments with her on-screen daughter. Honestly though, I just wished I was just watching Babadook instead. On Netflix :)

Succession ♡ - Pop over to my huge shiv roy tag to know my thoughts on that show. Maybe the best performance of the decade for one of the best characters on TV. On HBO lol

Beanie Bubble - Snook was great as Sheila, a mother of 2 kids and Zach Galifianakis' wife in weird drama comedy. Again, can't say she's given the best material to work with here, but Snook still manages to elevate her character as sweet, protective, and loving. Plus she gets to wear some really pretty dresses in this and also punch a man. The justice we deserve. On Apple Tv but sadly the website I watched it on is gone.

Woof that was long! Feel free to msg me if you watch any of these! I love snook talking and I hope this guide was helpful to you. I also really recommend @/bestofsnook on twitter, they've got some great guides :)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Huge Davies’ stand-up special The Carpark was released yesterday, I just watched it, and holy hell, did I ever enjoy it. I enjoyed it even more than I’d expected. I like Huge Davies, I’ve liked him for a long time. I’ve seen bits of him on panel shows and things, and I’ve heard his songs on The Now Show. I’ve seen his stand-up clips on YouTube.

I liked him enough to have sought out that really short sitcom thing he did last year on Channel 4, The Artists, which was enjoyable. Not incredibly good, but enjoyable. I also watched his ten-minute musical stand-up thing on NextUp, and felt the same way about that. It was good. I was funny. It wasn’t the best thing I’d ever seen or anything. But it was better than plenty of other stand-up clips I’d watched as a way to follow up on something I’d seen on a panel show.

Okay, to be very honest, the main thing that caught my attention about Huge Davies is he was by far the best thing about the worst show I’ve ever enjoyed, which is Roast Batte UK. Absolutely terrible show, the guiltiest of my guilty pleasures, its battles ranged from “This is so fucking bad that even if I’m drunk and just looking for something stupid to watch, I still can’t enjoy it”, to “…I’m not proud of this but this one’s entertaining enough so if I’m drunk and looking for something stupid, I’ll actually quite enjoy it.” On a sliding scale from the first of those things to the second one, Huge Davies’ roast battle with comedian Ed Night was probably the furthest on the good side. I don’t even think I can explain why, I don’t think it was objectively anything special, I just really enjoyed it. So much that I’ve been sort of rooting for both Huge Davies and Ed Night like they’re sports teams, hoping their careers go well enough so I can see them on TV more often. So far, that seems to be going better for one of them than for the other (the one for whom it's going better is the one who just released his first full-length filmed stand-up special). I’d love to say I developed most of my interest in Huge Davies from the intelligent Oxbridge Radio 4 political comedy The Now Show, but actually, it was mainly Roast Battle.

So as part of that, I’d watched his other stuff, knew I liked him, thought he’d make a fantastic addition to a Taskmaster lineup someday as the “up-and-coming stand-up who’s not incredibly well known to a wider audience but will be soon”, wanted to see more stuff by him. When he released a special, I watched it and expected to like it. I did not expect to like it as much as I did.

I think it’s one of my favourite stand-up specials I’ve seen this year. Not my absolute favourite or anything, but it’s up there. It made me laugh out loud repeatedly. Properly laughing, which a lot of stand-up specials, even decent ones, don’t really do because we don’t laugh out loud easily when we’re watching something on our own. It was really funny. He’s so much better than he seems when you hear one of his songs at a time on a panel show or something. They all go together and fit into this larger thing and it’s amazingly funny. They weren’t meant to be chopped up for playing out of context.

When I actually look at it, the vast majority of the substance just came from talking shit about various types of music. But he did it so well. And he wrapped it around a proper structure with a narrative and callbacks and a strong finale, which I always like in a stand-up show. I like it so much that if it’s done well, it’ll go a little ways toward making me forgive a show for not making me laugh as hard. But this one made me laugh and had a cool structure.

I guess the structure is nothing that hasn’t been done before, and most of it was fairly predictable. “Pretend there’s something specific this show will be about and you’re going to talk about it any second, but spend so much time on the preamble and/or things going wrong that you never get to the promised thing” is such a common schtick that I should be tired of it by now, really. It’s not a surprise anymore. But I still enjoyed it. The joke where he pretends to be from every Asian country also got predictable (spoiler alert, I guess), but I also still liked it. I also happen to be a really big fan of the deadpan style, which he of course employed throughout. What I mean is that it’s possible that its objective merits might not quite live up to how much it subjectively appealed to me, but I liked it so much. Annoyed, deadpan man standing there with his David O’Doherty keyboard and complaining about music, affecting the air of someone who’s above such bullshit, but then pulling it all together in classic stand-up structure.

There were a few points where I saw little flashes of what I see from nearly every comedian who’s younger than James Acaster, which is that they talk a bit like James Acaster. But only a little bit, and it’s possible that at this point, I’m imagining that sometimes. It’s possible that James Acaster just does a really exaggerated version of a “stand-up voice”, so if anyone else does a stand-up voice, it sounds like they’ve gone a bit James Acaster, when in fact, that’s just how stand-ups talk. He also berated the audience for being a terrible audience a lot, but I’m not going to accuse him of copying Stewart Lee, because some ideas are too broad for any one comedian to get a patent on them. James Acaster’s voice might be similar.

I don’t actually know how old Huge Davies is, but I’m quite sure he’s younger than James Acaster, and I think he’s younger than me. Which is good, now that this special has moved him from a comedian I like to a comedian I really like. Because I sometimes think I’m a bit biased against younger comedians (and I define younger as… anyone who’s not three or more years older than me), so there’s a mark toward disproving that bias. Probably. Unless it turns out Huge Davies is older than I think.

I think I’ve managed to spend too much of this post downplaying the merits of a stand-up show that I do, in fact, highly recommend. It’s good stuff. It’s good stuff if you want deadpan and structure and offbeat creative jokes and observations about music genres and a David O’Doherty keyboard.

[everyepisodeofcommunity]

79.

Herstory of Dance.

You're probably wondering how I got here. Well, I put the total number of Community episodes into a random number generator and hit go.

So we begin - in the midst of Season 4, with Herstory of Dance, the all time least watched episode of the show when it was on TV, which does feel fitting in a way. In the midst of the notorious gas leak year, Abed finds an opportunity to do the most classic of classic sitcom plots - agreeing to two dates on one night and trying to keep them both going. Right after in the opening scene he declares that he’s trying to move away from Filtering Life through TV, he finds himself in a wacky situation so goes with it. I don’t know, feels like circular plotting, but the end result is easily the best part of the episode. Abed runs that caper straight into more classic tropes (the girl he really liked was under his nose the whole time - the big rom com gesture) and it would all feel very Season 1 Abed were it not for his very real chemistry with Brie Larson's Rachel. Brie is so charming and fun here, I think an alternate universe where she recurred way more frequently would be a great one, with a better Season 5 ... but then I've always been more into the soapy relationship stuff than some people who love and/or made the show. Also, proof that Brie Larson should be in more comedies, imho. Kat presents a good example of a Season 4 problem though - the level of cartoonishness the show operates on suddenly fluctuates hard enough for her, a grown adult, even a very quirky one, to be so distracted by Some Bubbles that she runs around in a circle while Abed slips away. 

Our A plot (citation needed) on the other hand feels very Season 4. Our now thoroughly dumbed down Britta (it's possible this blog will end up primarily being about how the entire show lets down Britta over and over and over, maybe) backs into a mistake and runs a Sophie B Hawkins dance on the night of a Sadie Hawkins dance and Sophie B Herself shows up just in time through the magic of rich people knowing each other. A character pointing out that Jeff is too mean to Britta is good if a little weird when the show itself is mean to Britta. That character being Pierce makes close to zero sense - it would honestly hold together better if he did it more just to fuck with Jeff. Either way, it's all basically fine - the Abed stuff is a lot more compelling to me. An episode that truly reckoned with how the group bullies the dumbed-down cartoon Britta that we're stuck with from S2-ish onwards would be interesting and worthwhile but this doesn't feel like that. This doesn't feel like much of anything except one of the many many examples of Gillian Jacbos applying her substantial comic acting chops to really bad material. All those people who didn't watch it weren't missing much. 

Notes:

- Jeff saying “Britta for the whoops!” feels out of character, but seconds later his line read on “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” is oddly satisfying 

- Oh right, we’re also in the midst of The Kevin/Changnesia Nightmare. Awful! 

- I think I followed Kat on here in 2009. Call me, although not if you’re still rhyming and launching into a cockney accent in normal conversations 

- Danny Pudi is a good looking man but that hat and shirt are a fucking nightmare

- I am an absolute sucker for a Job joke. Everything in the cloakroom scenes with Rachel is great! “Well I think the dog is trained”.

- Fair play to Chevy Chase, his line read on “Has this been confirmed?” is wonderful 

- Troy’s role in this episode seems to be “Troy isn’t really in this episode, haha!”, maybe Donald had to shoot a music video that week, but he does put in some solid physical comedy work when he stumbles across the background of a shot carrying a tower of cups

- “What is the nature of hope?” + Britta’s face when Sophie turns up <3 

- Big fan of a text from across the room, on TV and in real life.

- Here’s a weird thing - it feels like SBH permeated pop culture in the US much more than in the UK (I think I encountered one of her songs on a covermount CD my mom got from a women’s magazine in the mid 90s and then I didn’t think about or hear of Sophie B again until Black Kids covered DIWIWYL as a b-side and sure, the second part of that sentence tells you more about me in the 00s than anything else, but still) and when this episode was first out nobody else I watched it with knew who she was - but weirdly, she has 4 Billboard Top 100 hits (2 in the top 10) to her 6 UK Top 100 hits (none in the top 10, but 4 in the top 40). In conclusion, the 90s were a weird time for pop culture and the music industry. 

- And we’re off.

[purplesurveys]

1273

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for?  Maybe for half an hour? Mine are never that bad.

What type of TV shows are your favourite?  Not a big TV show type of person to begin with since it seems as if my attention span wasn’t built for once-a-week, season-breaks kind of content haha. I do like sitcoms, I guess...bite-sized ones like Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, etc. Drama shows I’d bite into if the plot is extremely intriguing to me or relevant to my interests, like The Crown or Breaking Bad.

Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything?  I was before then I wasn’t for a very long time, then I came back just recently with this BTS shit I got myself into.

Do you know anyone who has died in battle?  Hmm. I don’t think so. My great-grandpa lived a few more decades after the war.

When was the last time you went on an adventure?  July. My friends and I spent the whole day driving around and stopping by sooo many spots around the metro. It was a lot of fun and we were fucking b e a t after.

What brand is your vacuum cleaner?  I dunno. My mom mainly uses ours.

Are you good at rapping?  I have a number of songs and verses memorized that I can recite quite okay, but I can’t write any of my own.

Name one world issue that upsets you.  Racism.

How do you feel about tanning?  I never saw the the big deal. I will say tanning beds and salons are such a culture shock to me, though. Are some people really that obsessed with modifying their skin tone?

Have you ever given a public speech? Hmm, just the one time I was entered into a public speaking competition and was given a topic to talk about on the spot. That was honestly a lot of fun and I wish there were more opportunities to do that exact same thing.

Do you read comic books?  No. I tried getting into that whole thing, but didn’t see the appeal.

Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved?  Not always but if I’m starting to feel left out or awkward, I will start to ask a question here and there to ease my way into the conversation. But if the topic is clearly none of my business then I do stay out of the way.

Kiss with your eyes open or closed?  Closed.

Do you believe you can change someone?  This isn’t a black and white matter, I think. The idea of changing a person can have a lot of layers; in my org, for instance, I got to pick up a few quirks and behaviors from my friends just by being around them for a long time – in that sense, I changed. But you can also strive to change someone who’s struggling and try to make them become happy, which I tried to do with my ex – which of course I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone if in that context.

How did you react when your first pet died?  I was bummed out but didn’t throw a fit.

Have you ever drawn anime?  No.

Can you use a pogo stick?  I’ve never even seen one in real life. I’m dying to try it out just once.

When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like?  I don’t like anybodyyy.

Do you like bathing/showering?  I mean...yes? Like I’m not obsessed with showering, but it’s a necessity that I have to regularly do anyway lmao.

Have you ever considered entering a race?  Sure! Just give me a couple of weeks to practice because my endurance and stamina are embarrassing.

Rihanna or Lady Gaga?  Rihanna.

Who was your first good kiss with?  My ex.

What accessory do you want in your bedroom?  SHELVES

What do you take the most pictures of?  My experiences.

What are you always in the mood for?  Starbuuuuuuckssssssss.

What is something that you never turn down?  A day out with friends. I’ll always make time. What is something that you always turn down when offered?  Food, if I’m a guest at someone else’s place.

Name something sexy about your significant other.  I don’t have any.

What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up?  Surveys, I guess. I enjoy them too much and have been doing them for nearly a decade.

If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be?  Tennis.

If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be?  PIANO.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician?  Surgeon. I would be too terrified seeing dead people, anyway.

Have you ever been on a subway? Nope.

Are you in love?  No.

Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing?  Sure. Softly, roughly...both are fine hahaha.

Do you want to get married when you’re older?  I hope so. I want my turn, too.

What was the last band shirt you wore?  Eh, I don’t own any. I wore a fanmade V-themed shirt yesterday, if that counts.

You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose?  OMGGGG that sounds so fucking good rn. Chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever given someone flowers?  Mhm, I used to give my ex bouquets whenever it was our anniversary.

What day of the week is usually your busiest day?  Monday like 98% of the time, so I hate them. It ultimately varies, though. Sometimes some days are a hell of a lot more hectic than others.

Do you have any concerts coming up? I mean...obviously not.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish?  Oh yessssssss. The smell of seafood/ocean always makes me fucking drool.

What’s your favorite brand of chips?  Pringles, or this local brand of salted egg chips that I love to get.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud?  Yeah, once. We had to write a poem as our homework and my teacher picked out a couple that he thought were the best-written, and one of them was mine even though I still firmly believe I did a shit job.

Do you like pineapple?  Oh god no. One of the worse fruits I’ve had.

Does your house have a dishwasher?  No. It seems to be just a Western thing.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?  I probably do, but I just can’t give you a lineup of names. Flower tattoos seem to be trendy these days, especially in the line style.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in?  So I have goodbye, paalam, 안녕히 가세요, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, au revoir...so that’s 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies.  Ummmm definitely childish and I can feel that the humor tries so hard sometimes but I do enjoy some of his movies, like 50 First Dates. 

Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for?  Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous survey.

Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail?  No, I’ve never dated anyone who’s been imprisoned.

If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it?  I ‘babysat,’ but technically all eldest Asian daughters are expected to look out for their younger siblings and cousins anyway. I didn’t actively enjoy it, but sure, it was fun playing with them and it’s always nice to be viewed as responsible.

What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds?  I don’t eat sunflower seeds. I don’t dislike them, I just really never seek them out.

Do you get cold easily?  Yes.

Do you get a lot of spiders in your house?  Hmm no. If we do get visited they are almost always too small to be seen.

Do you admire nature?  Yeah, I try to be around it as often as I can.

Name one naughty thing you’ve done.  Had sex while a few people were in the same room. I pay for it now hahaha; those friends who had the misfortune to be in that situation have never let me live it down and it’s one of their go-to stories when I’m being introduced to new friends.

Name two of your favorite things as a child.  I loved everything Bratz. I also liked Play-Doh.

Do you own a Pillow Pet?  No, I’ve never even heard of that.

Do you tend to solve problems with violence?  Never.

Have either of your parents gone to jail?  Nope.

Do you know a hoarder?  I heard my grandma had been one, but I didn’t see traces of it when I used to visit her. I guess she had been when she was younger and stronger. I show traces of hoarding too, but I don’t think it’s at a concerning level; I literally just threw out a bunch of shit in my room I’ve hoarded over the last five or so years.

Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows?  I don’t touch them; I’m never all that worried about my appearance. On very rare instances, I will shave some of the excess hair off. Do you have any interesting scar stories?  None of them are interesting tbh, just results of my own stupidity.

Do you hate the texture of meatballs?  I don’t hate their texture but I also just don’t enjoy meatballs in general. I find them boring, which has always led me to think if they’re really supposed to be just boring clumps of meat or if I’ve just always been served average meatballs.

Do you get migraines? Yes, I usually get one after work. They’ve decreased in frequency now but one will drop by every now and then to give me a shit time.

Do you like guns?  No.

Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') < Yes! Except cockroaches.

How much time do you spend taking surveys?  I dedicate an hour or so every weekend. I often wish I can allot more time, but I also have other hobbies and interests I would usually want to catch up on during the weekends. 48 hours is just too short :(

Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even need to think about it.

Would you like to work at a candy shop?  Uh no. If I had to, it would be on the back-end, maybe in the corporate side of things lol.

Do you have feelings for someone?  Nope.

Which one of your guy friends is the best looking?  JM.

Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf?  No.

Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player?  I don’t use music players anymore but my Spotify always reminds me of how much I listen to BTS whenever they do one of their quirky listening habit reports lol.

Which song describes your mood at the moment?  I want to go with RM’s Bicycle just because I’m feeling quite content and relaxed at the moment.

Which movie(s) do you quote the most?  Eh, I’m not a big movie quoter.

Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date?  I honestly don’t see any of them as date-able.

Would you ever let anybody else drive your car?  Sure. I’ve let Hans and Gab drive it countless times when I’ve had too much to drink. It’s a small car and is fairly easy to use and navigate. I would let Anj use it too at some point, but I want her to perfect her u-turns first hahahaha.

Which one of your friends will be the most successful?  It’s already one of my friends to begin with but I’m not naming names. They come from a privileged background to begin with and their godfather already handed one of his companies down to them, so. They were also told the CEO position is already a sure slot for them.

What store did you last shop at?  I wanna say NCAT, this Korean-themed store that sells trinkets and jewelries and plushies and stuff. They also sell BTS albums so Anj and I dropped by to check out and touch all the albums we can’t afford yet HAHA

Do you think telepathy is real?  No.

When did you last draw something for fun?  Last Saturday when I played an online drawing/guessing game with my uncles and aunts.

Who makes the most in your entire family?  My dad.

Do you like writing essays?  I love essays, it’s my favorite writing piece to make.

Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal?  It turns into one when it gets obsessive, like when people get excessive plastic surgeries specifically to look like another person. I’m looking at you, fucking Oli London.

Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up?  It’s picked up.

When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands?  I look away and just sneeze. Sometimes I’ll put up my elbow.

Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? Erm, I usually had it at night. I only had morning sex when we would spend the night; and I nearly never had noon sex.

Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test?  No.

Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  Gun to my head, Lil Wayne.

Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently:  Reena!!! I’m so grateful Angela introduced us to each other :) We both tend to get shy so we don’t��actually actively get chatty when we see each other irl, but I love her presence and I love that she is my friend. I make up for it by being super friendly and wacky in our group chat haha. Does your car have a sunroof?  No. We used to have a car that did, but we had to sell that during the peak of the pandemic.

Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  Dad.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No.

Who’s the last person you cuddled with?  My ex.

Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook?  Yeup.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Round-Up Review: WandaVision (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the Monday after the finale of WandaVision drops on Disney+, so if you haven’t yet seen the entire series don’t read on until you have.

So I was going to do a fully fleshed out review of the entire series of WandaVision, but just as I’m about to finish…Tumblr decides to freeze on me and I lose a day of work so I have now decided to work this review a different way and rather than giving a general reaction and going into a character analysis, I will be breaking it down into what I loved, what wasn’t there for me fully and where I feel we are going next.

General Reaction:

So I could of very easily gone through this series episode by episode...but based on the fact that not only was this a play-by-play mystery with a lot more questions than answers each week, but also as the series progressed, particularly after Evan Peters arrived at the end of episode 5, the fan-theories and potential spoilers almost made me not want to know what was going to happen because the theories were becoming so grand that the series could surely never live up to expectations, which is why I feel the director of the finalé stated that fans may be disappointed...because ultimately I don’t think the finalé did live up to expectations. But these were expectations built up as an culmination of fan-theories, comic-book insight and also MCU baiting.

By MCU baiting, I mean that the creatives of WandaVision decided to be creative, and possibly playful, by including several red herrings that went absolutely nowhere but were the main conspiracy theories driving the fan-speculations and fake spoilers throughout the latter half of the series.

Dottie...who was she? Nobody important. Evan Peters...was he Quicksilver? No. Was he Mephisto/Nightmare? No. Was he important? Not really. Monica’s mysterious engineer contact, a fan-favourite character? Not even a character from the comics, I think.

Now that’s not to say this series asked questions that weren’t answered satisfactorily, but a lot of them seemed to build up to what is to come rather than giving us all the answers in this series. Is that a good thing? Yes because I feel this will make this series more rewatchable than I feel it already is. I for one of re-watched each episode at least twice sometimes three times each week leading up to the next episode and having just seen the entire series as a whole product I can safely say that characters and elements from this series going forward may have call-backs to the events of this series which will make for clicks, more views and more plays.

Speaking of watchability, can we talk about how interesting it has been to watch half-hour scheduled programming for 9 weeks like the olden days, and the fact we can call television life before streaming “the olden days”?.

But honestly sitting down, for me on a Friday morning at 9:30am without fail, to watch what began as a 25–30-minute MCU sitcom before turning into a 30–40-minute MCU mystery every week harkened back to my childhood and coming back from school to watch my shows which only aired once a week at that time. Feige’s and the creatives in the MCU brought back that feeling of nostalgia for me which I never really expected from a comic-book property.

Speaking of classic televisual viewing, I really enjoyed the standard sitcom setup of this series. I knew of all the referenced shows going in like The Dick Van Dyke Show, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, Malcolm in the Middle and Modern Family, but it was also nice to see some standard sitcom tropes seen in the majority of sitcoms utilized throughout. From Agatha posing as the nosey neighbour to the fashions of each sitcom era and even the fourth wall breaks both from Billy in the Halloween episode in a Malcolm in the Middle spoof to the following episode literally titled “Breaking the Fourth Wall”.

Also, I will say here that all those MCU “stans” who are complaining they didn’t get the big grand beginning of Phase 4 that was promised to us by Feige as “something different”, the guy’s mantra is to keep it simple and the finalé was hardcore Feige. “Something different” was the set up and delivery of this slice of the MCU and some fans are still moaning about that so some people are just never satisfied.

What I Loved

Scarlet Witch

Give Elizabeth Olsen awards for this season! Make gold rain down upon her! Honestly, I have loved Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda Maximoff since her formal introduction in Avengers: Age of Ultron, but now we have formally been introduced to the Scarlet Witch she is not only the most powerful female if not character in the MCU but also the best character in the entire MCU to date.

Not only is this series personifying how an individual deals with their grief, but when you consider the fact that Wanda, who is by all accounts a 29 year old woman due to being blipped for 5 years, and has lost her parents at a young age, her twin brother at 25-26 so still a young age and then the first love of her life twice, first by her own hand and then by the Mad Titan so that initial sacrifice was for nothing, it’s just a lot to put on one individual with this level of raw power without expecting her to finally snap and create an alternate reality where everything is under her control.

The creation of her twins, who I will get into further down, was well done and, for want of a better word, organic for the series. But I did like how they showed the real-life struggle of not just having a new-born but having twins. Wanda is trying to maintain control of this world she has created as well as keep Vision in check, but also because the twins are seemingly not under her magical control, she must juggle maintaining the world and its people with being a new mother.

But the biggest crisis for Wanda comes in when Fietro shows up, I still do not believe she ever truly thought this was her dead brother resurrected. It wasn’t until he said “long lost brother” that he asked “Pietro?” and she spent the entire next episode interrogating him until the façade finally slipped and she decided he wasn’t.

After this, everything falls apart for her. Not only is her reality literally slipping with Vision at odds with her, the world constantly shifting between eras and her not understanding what is happening.

This is of course when she is confronted by Agatha Harkness who has not only taken her twins but also been fooling her by being “Nosy Neighbour Auntie Agnes” for this entire time when in reality she is a with from the days of the Salem Witch Trials who wants to understand Wanda’s true potential and then absorb all of her magic.

But when we got to see Wanda’s true potential as she went “Beast Mode” as the Scarlet Witch complete with stunning new outfit and crown, this levels the character up to that top spot in the MCU as the best and most powerful character.

I am excited to see where the Scarlet Witch’s potential will take her next.

WandaVision Love Story

I also really loved the fact that as well as a personification of dealing with Wanda’s grief, this series was truly a love story between Wanda and Vision.

From the first episode when we see them getting “married” and being that unusual suburban couple trying to fit in with seemingly everyday suburban life when the entire set-up is Wanda’s idyllic dream world.

As Darcy said to Vision, the love these two have is real. I did an entire post on why Scarlet Witch and Vision are the best MCU couple, and this series amplifies that. It becomes clear that these two are not actually married and in fact this Vision isn’t even the Vision we have seen developed through the movies, but he is a replication of Wanda’s true love and this is how she chooses to show it.

The fact they go through all of the typical newlywed couple goalposts of marriage, homemakers, kids, a dog, domestic disputes. It’s all there and feels so natural even though we are talking about the relationship a potential Nexus Being and a Synthezoid.

Their final goodbye in the series finale is honestly as heart-breaking as any love-lost in a tragic romance movie. Seriously how many more times is Wanda, and by extension the fans, supposed to say goodbye to Vision?

Agatha Harkness

I love Kathryn Hahn, this series has solidified that for me. Not only is this the first live-action appearance of Agatha Harkness but also the way in which she was modified from the comics is in a way that I would be annoyed with any other way if not for the fact that it was Kathryn Hahn playing her.

Now yes, fans of the comics knew “Agnes” was really Agatha Harkness from the casting announcement, but the actual reveal wasn’t epic because we already knew, it was epic because of the way it was revealed.

“Agatha All Along” has honestly become one of my new favourite songs, it is such a catchy tune, incorporates a couple of classic sitcom nods and is very memorable.

But also, even the fact that the final line of “…and I killed Sparky too” has become so memeable without overshadowing the overall song is such an impressive feat.

The Lopez’s not only capitalise on their Frozen success but also Kathryn Hahn gets to show her musical talents by singing the actual song…it was just incredible.

But yes, Agatha being a villain, as she has been in the comics but not on this scale, was a great decision for this series because Kathryn Hahn managed to inject her own brand of cynical dry comedy with echoes of Cate Blanchett’s Hela to create a fully rounded menacing villainous character.

Not only do we learn about her origins of how she can absorb magic by murdering her entire coven, mother included, but also that she elevates that by being able to steal any magic, even that of the powerful Scarlet Witch, truly makes this witch a threat within the magical realms of the MCU.

Even though she was defeated I am thrilled she didn’t die, she has simply been taken off the board for now but is still able to be put into play if and when she is needed again, maybe in Doctor Strange 2 maybe sooner, who knows?

Monica Rambeau

I have to say, I do not know much about Proton from the comics and genuinely though Maria Rambeau was a bigger character than she was, but considering they killed her off-screen during this series I don’t think she actually was.

I loved how the effects of the blip are still showing their repercussions as Monica returns after being victim to the blip and is immediately thrust into a chaotic post-blip world that echoes the real-world COVID-19 crisis I imagine.

From the start once outside of the Hex, Monica hits the ground running as both a SWORD operative and a self-assured hero trying to do the right thing by saving the town of Westview and Wanda while thwarting Hayward.

I really loved how her “Boss Lady” persona that Agent Woo grants her was very well realised because she did not take any nonsense from anyone. She got the Space Rover so she could attempt to re-enter the Hex, she attempted to reason with Wanda not once, not twice, but thrice.

And when the rover couldn’t penetrate the Hex, she decided to re-enter unprotected knowing what the barrier would potentially do to her physiology…and it did not disappoint.

Monica got powers, she got powers in a spectacular way. I loved how while she was physically struggling to break through the barrier, she could hear the voices of her nearest and dearest (archive footage from Captain Marvel) which spurred her on until she finally pulled herself together and became the superpowered individual she was always going to become.

But she didn’t stop there, not only did she try to once again confront Wanda who at this point was rather unhinged, but she didn’t take her threats lying down and instead tried to break into Agnes’ house before getting caught by Fietro.

However, once she worked out Fietro was really Ralph and was able to free him from Agatha’s control, she wasted no time in running off and making herself useful and just in time as she stopped Hayward from shooting the twins and assisted them in subduing the rogue SWORD agents.

As for Monica’s future, she has been drafted by that Skrull to join Nick Fury’s new team and may return to honour her late mother’s position as director of SWORD. All I know is her future is as bright and vibrant as the energy waves she can now see.

Twins

I love Wiccan and Speed so much, I love the Young Avengers so much, I love Wiccan and Hulkling’s relationship from the comics that is inevitably going to happen hopefully, but the fact this was the origins of all of that gave me everything.

Even before their birth, I loved how the pregnancy was making everything in the house go crazy. Some fans believe this was Wanda’s powers out of control due to pregnancy, I think this was actually Billy’s reality warping powers either acting from inside the womb or amplifying Wanda’s reality warping powers.

When the twins were in existence, I feel Wanda wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen. Billy and Tommy had their own minds and weren’t afraid to show them. Not only with finding Sparky but also with revealing their powers.

It’s fascinating as both these characters have the powers of either their mother or uncle, Billy has reality warping powers and Tommy has super speed. But while both got great chances to show them both in the Halloween episode and also in the series finale, I do believe we have only just scratched the surface of particularly Billy’s powers.

Of course they were always going to be lost at the end of the series, as they were in the comics when they were reabsorbed into Mephisto, in this instance they were seemingly deleted along with their father and the Hex…but then we hear them calling out to Wanda while she’s examining the Darkhold? Is this really them? Multiverse variants? What does all this mean? We need answers!

Darcy Lewis

I was thrilled when I heard Kat Dennings was not only returning to the MCU but being part of different characters’ stories rather than just Thor.

I loved how Darcy was on it from the start by firstly identifying that she and the other three scientists in recruitment didn’t share any common field so that meant SWORD had no idea what they were facing, but then being the one to identify the broadcast of WandaVision.

It did truly feel like we were watching Darcy be us while she was watching the series, seeing her get so invested in the hijinks and the plot twists was very relatable. Kat Dennings sold that relatability just as she does in every performance for me.

Then her fan-girling over the wider MCU, Kat Dennings is a fan of the MCU outside of her own appearances, so the fact she confirmed Vision did not get blipped but actually died and also had that moment in first meeting Monica was adorable.

Also, the fact that Darcy was the one who figured out not only that Monica’s cells were being re-written but also that Hayward had nefarious intentions with wanting to track down Vision, it just gave Darcy a purpose in the series and almost made her invaluable. Monica and Jimmy don’t have the backgrounds to be the “person in the chair” but Darcy does, and I was happy she finally got the chance to showcase it.

Even when she was taken into the Hex and temporarily became the Escape Artist, she was still Darcy in a way, then she became Vision’s source of information and road trip buddy before being left on the side-lines only to then return and help defeat Hayward.

What Didn’t Work:

Too Many Red Herrings

As I said this series and the series creatives had far too many red herrings planted to either fool us or tease us without any solid resolutions.

The biggest one is definitely “Fietro” who as it turns out isn’t Multiverse Quicksilver from the Fox X-Men movies but is instead an in-universe actor named Ralph Bohner who was enthralled by Agatha to play the part of her husband and be her spy and lackey.

Honestly not only am I annoyed that Evan Peters was used for what was ultimately a boner joke, but also it does throw dirt into the wound as to the fact we may not be getting Mutants or the X-Men for a while yet in the MCU.

Then there’s Dottie...similarly to Fietro this could have been a smart way to bring Mutants into the MCU. While yes Dottie was believed to be Mephisto or a witch of some description, I was actually onboard with the idea that this was the MCU Emma Frost. It would have been poetic for Agatha Harkness to be working with Emma Frost to not only maintain her manipulation but also with Emma’s telepathic abilities but also potentially have Emma working as a double agent for the Hellfire Club who also want to harness the powers of the Scarlet Witch similarly to how they wanted to control the Phoenix Force.

Wanda in the MCU has already been compared to Jean Grey, so how about Scarlet Witch becoming the Black Queen of the Inner Circle?

Next, Ultron. A namedrop as many times as this deserves some sort of payoff. Ralph got his and it may have been disappointing but at least we got resolution. So why, when Ultron was named numerous times and we as fans even had Avengers: Age of Ultron being the next recommended watch for us at the end of every episode except the finale, did nothing come of it? If White Vision was voiced by James Spader I would have been happy.

Finally, there’s Monica’s engineer “guy”. We didn’t find out who this was because the contact Monica met with was an Air Force contact delivering the Space Rover, but who was the engineer who designed it? Why didn’t we meet him?

I personally feel this engineer is Reed Richards, there is obviously a rich history of space being connected to Reed’s origins as Mister Fantastic, we know the Fantastic Four are coming to the MCU, it would simply make sense to first introduce Reed as maybe a scientist for SWORD or Nick Fury’s team before bringing in the full team.

I know the other option is Hank Pym, but really if it was Pym then why couldn’t they just pay Michael Douglas for a cameo?

The Future of the MCU

So, what does WandaVision set up for the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

Well, we know that this is the start of the Multiverse Arc that will continue with Spider-Man: No Way Home later this year and conclude with Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness next year. It is confirmed that Scarlet Witch will show up in the latter of those two movies, but we have no idea what role she’ll serve in Spider-Man.

The other story this series sets up is Secret Invasion which will happen during the series of the same name starring Nick Fury and the Skrulls and also Captain Marvel 2 which will not only feature Carol Danvers and Monica Rambeau but also the upcoming Kamala Khan aka Ms. Marvel. This puts three superpowered women in the same movie and possibly will be the nexus of the Secret Invasion storyline before the concluding movie being an Avengers level event.

Then there’s also Falcon and the Winter Soldier starting in a couple of weeks, that series will most likely connect to Black Widow due to including Yelena Belova but also because that was originally supposed to come out before WandaVision it is tough to see if it or any other upcoming series except for Secret Invasion will connect to this series.

And of course, there is the upcoming Young Avengers project, we have yet to get confirmation of if this will be a movie or a TV series but we know we are having the players put onto the board in Disney+ shows and MCU movies. We have Wiccan and Speed, we know we are getting Kate Bishop and America Chavez as well as already having Cassie Lang just recast for the upcoming Ant-Man 3 to hopefully finally become Stature, and while we have yet to get confirmation of Hulkling it is possible he will appear in Secret Invasion given the Kree-Skrull elements.

Overall, I rate this series a solid 9/10, this series gave me practically everything I wanted and there were many times particularly in the finale that I felt this was the best Marvel Television series. I still stand by the fact that I think it is but the red herrings of Fietro, Mephisto, Ultron and Monica’s “guy” meant I couldn’t call it a solid 10/10.

Regardless of that, I felt this series gave us something different in an MCU mystery, formally introducing witches into the MCU, the love story of Wanda and Vision was intoxicating, meeting Wiccan and Speed in the early years was glorious and honestly Wanda embracing her destiny and becoming the Scarlet Witch…if the entire series was at that level it would be a 10/10 across the board.

So that’s my Round-Up Review of WandaVision, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about WandaVision

Y'know, it's kind of crazy to think that it's been over a year since we've been given any content involving the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel Studios announced so many great movies, on top of new TV shows that actually impact the story, way back in the summer of 2019. But then 2020 happened. Resulting in everything, and I mean everything, we were promised getting pushed back for another year. So, when it was finally announced that the series WandaVision was, at last, ready to be released, fans were both excited as well as skeptical. Because the first thing that would reintegrate us back into this franchise would be a show about how two Avengers are stuck in a sitcom. It might be new, long-awaited content, but it also doesn't sound all that interesting. Could a story involving two characters who have yet to stand on their own be enough to carry a brand new adventure? Well, for eight whole weeks, fans were given that answer. And personally, I will admit that WandaVision might have been better than anybody could have ever expected...for the most part.

(Final spoiler warning if you haven't seen the show yet)

WHAT I LIKE

It Just Goes: This is easily the best way the series could have started. We are given no context about what is going on. We're just shown that Wanda and Vision are currently stuck in a sitcom, and that's it. By making it a mystery, fans are given this sort of interaction with the series as they find clues and come up with theories about how and why this happened. Sure, some assumptions were more far fetched than others (did people think Mephisto was confirmed just because of one misinterpreted line involving the Devil?), but it still makes the show a ton of fun to watch. Plus, even when we're given answers, it's only tiny pieces of the puzzle. We're always given a chance to figure out the bigger picture, resulting in an image that is, I'll admit, somewhat satisfying to see. Just as long as you ignore the crybabies who get upset that their favorite theories turned out to be wrong.

The Homages are on Point: I also love how straight the cast and crew play with the idea of two superheroes being stuck in a series of sitcoms. Everything they use fits in the era each sitcom takes place in. With things like camerawork, set design, special effects, acting quality, tropes, and even theme songs, everything works as a proper homage than just having two episodes in black and white and the rest in color. Each new sitcom that Wanda and Vision are rebooted in feels so genuine, to the point where they seem like they could be actual shows that could have existed. Seriously, my dad showed me stuff like The Dick Van Dyke Show when I was a kid, so trust me when I say that the very first episode nails the style that it's honoring. Not only is it charming as all forms of hell, but it also works in making these moments when characters break from the spell (get it) all the more jarring and even disturbing at times. Because when you're so keen on watching what seems like a fun and cheesy sitcom, you feel a bit unsettled when a character suddenly acts in a way that's a tad foreboding. Still, it's fun to watch and is easily the central hook for what makes this show work.

The Comedy: The homages also nail the comedy that came from each type of sitcom. The jokes fit with each period, from the cheesy and charming 50s to the cynical and dry 90s and early 2000s. It's another thing the writers play straight with, and I think it works. The only jokes made by most stories like this are just pointing out that these serious characters are stuck in a silly sitcom. Instead, the writers tell jokes that work for the period it's in, and it is all genuinely funny if you're used to those types of goofs and gags. If you didn't laugh, that's because the comedy isn't trying to reach out to you. It's reaching out to the people who actually watched these types of sitcoms. Or, in my case, the type of people who had their parents show them these types of sitcoms. And even then, I still think there are these lines and deliveries that are still funny even if you don't get the joke. For example, there's this brief moment with Vision and a toy baby that got a genuine chuckle out of me for how absurd it was. I wasn't expecting to laugh that much, but on top of the many surprises this show gave, being funny was definitely one of them.

“My husband, and his indestructible forehead”: He...hehe...hehehehahahaHAHAHAHA! AH! HA! HA! HA! 

*Slowly starts sobbing*

>Squeaks<

I see what you did there.

Paul Bettany as “Vision,” “Vision,” and Vision: Can we give Paul Bettany a round of applause for basically playing three different characters, each with their own varying levels of emotions and purposes? Because goodness gracious, this man is a champion! I've seen tons of people praise Elizabeth Olson for her performance as Wanda, and to be fair, she does do a fantastic job...aside from one blatant issue (which I'll get into later). But as great as Olson is, Bettany still deserves some credit. Throughout most of the series, he has this level of comedic-timing that I didn't even know he was capable of, by going ham or just having a dry wit. Seriously, was someone going to tell me that Paul Bettany can be funny, or was I supposed to find that out for myself? On top of being hilarious, Bettany delivers such raw emotion that none of us would have ever expected from this character. That screaming match “Vision” has with Wanda shows the very first time that any version of him has ever been angry, and Bettany does a great job at making that moment as jarring as it needed to be. And that's just from playing one version of the character! I didn't even talk about how he nails the naive yet still wise Vision from the flashback in "Previously On" or the cold and robotic "Vision" from "The Series Finale." Bettany has range, and WandaVision is a great show that proves how. One just needs to have the right amount of vision to see it (HhhhhhhhhhhHA!)

Developing Wanda: But as great as Paul Bettany, and to a lesser extent, Vision, is, Wanda Maximoff is clearly the star of the show here (And yes, I know that it's Wanda who's the character and Elizabeth Olson is the actor, but...I'll get into it!). If WandaVision has taught me anything about these Disney+ shows, it's that we are finally going to get some long-awaited development to characters that are starved from it. And Wanda definitely needed it. Don't get me wrong, Wanda was great in past movies but wasn't that compelling of a character. Here, trust me when I say that the opposite is true. 

We are given a deep dive into not only Wanda's morality but also her psyche. The writers really play around with how scary Wanda can be. As well as questioning if Wanda has the capability of being evil. Because, yeah, what she did was not right. True, our "heroine" was going through some rough s**t, but that doesn't excuse the amount of torture Wanda put the people of Westview through, no matter how unwittingly. Just look at that scene where everyone grills Wanda about what she's doing to them, not only pleading for whatever compromise they can get and even begging for her to kill them instead. That is dark! That is the darkest concept the MCU has ever offered, and the ending of Avengers: Infinity War exists!

But, while it doesn't entirely excuse everything, there is a reason why Wanda did all of this. You see, throughout WandaVision, Wanda goes through the five stages of grief. It all starts with denial as she pretends to live in a sitcom that she created where Vision is alive, and they get to even have kids together. Soon comes anger when she destroys anything and physically harms anyone that tries to bring her back to reality. Next, there's bargaining as Wanda strengthens her hex and expands it to keep outsiders out and keep Vision in. This leads to depression as the weight of all of Wanda's actions finally sinks in, and she's forced to realize the damage she's causing. Until all of it ends with acceptance, as Wanda finally, finally, gets to say goodbye to Vision. Something she never really got when Thanos ripped the mind stone out of Vision's forehead. It's both incredible to watch as it is fascinating. Wanda, through the course of her own little spin-off series, just went from a decent character to one of the most intriguing to dissect in the MCU. And we have this show to thank for it.

The Commercials: These commercials offer three things.

They're more homages to classic television, each product and filming for each one honoring how commercials looked in each era.

They offer more of an insight into Wanda's psyche as we see how each commercial shows bits of her history, regrets, and deepest desires. You see all of the above in the Lagos' paper towel commercial.

There are neat bits of foreshadowing of what's to come, like how Hydra Soak ends by saying it's for "your inner goddess" or how the 90s commercial ends by saying Magic isn't meant for the weak.

With all of that, these commercials are as fun to analyze as they are disturbing as hell.

The Dinner Scene: This was the moment it was clear that WandaVision wasn’t going to just be fun and games. The second that "Mr. Heart" starts screaming at Wanda about why she and Vision came, it becomes clear that the whole wacky scenario our heroes are in isn't as harmless as we all thought. And when "Mrs. Heart" playfully tells her husband to stop it when “Mr. Heart” starts choking, only to desperately scream at Wanda to stop it, audiences begin to piece together that the people of Westview are prisoners--no--victims. As for Wanda? She's the unknowing dictator forcing them to do what she says. And it was this scene that I knew I was going to really enjoy this show.

The Blip Scene: And it was this scene that made WandaVision skyrocket into top-tier MCU territory! As much as I love Spider-Man: Far From Home, I will admit that making a joke with the concept of something like the blip might not have been the best move. But showing the chaos of everyone coming back all at once? On top of showing the confusion that a person would have from being told that a five-second nap was five years? Yeah, that's more in line with what we want.

Returning Characters: Not only was I surprised by the fact that these pretty minor characters in the MCU made a return at all, but I was also shocked to find out they work better in this series than they did in their respective movies. First, there's Monica. Not only is she reintroduced as a brand new hero (with, admittingly, confusing superpowers), but she also works as the anti-Wanda. Both characters had someone they care about dearly die without getting a chance to say goodbye. The difference is that Monica doesn't have the abilities Wanda does and is instead forced to quickly accept that her mom is dead and won't come back. She even admits that she would bring her mom back if she could. But that just makes Monica the perfect person that Wanda needs. A person that understands where she's coming from and tries to convince Wanda to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is. Monica's methods may have been a tad bit sloppy, but she is still ten times more intriguing than that little girl who screwed around with the color scheme on Captain Marvel’s suit.

Then there's Jimmy Woo, who is both funnier here than in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and actually shows signs of being a competent FBI agent. A step up, I might add, from the hilariously incompetent character we saw in his previous appearance.

And also, Darcie is here...and still slightly annoying...but at least she still has a couple funny lines here and there! Which is more than I can say with Thor and Thor: The Dark World.

In my opinion, it's a good move having these characters with pretty small roles in vastly different stories make a return. It shows that they are not limited to their one little corner of the MCU. And that they can branch off into taller tales that suit them perfectly. It's pretty cool, and it makes me wonder what other small characters could make a triumphant return.

Billy and Tommy: These two are...fine. Billy and Tommy give me Zach and Cody vibes sometimes, the kids playing them do a decent job, and they both offer some great emotional moments. The problem is that out of the list of characters that WandaVision introduces and reintroduces, there's not much to talk about with Billy and Tommy. Honestly, the only reason why I briefly mentioned that I like them is that I don't want dozens of people crucifying me for not saying anything about them. I don't hate them, but I don't much care for them either.

Evan Peters as Quicksilver: Although I would have loved it if it was Aaron Taylor-Johnson who made a return, seeing Evan Peters in a good Marvel movie again is more than worth it. He plays a much more fun version of Quicksilver while still nailing the sibling relationship the character has with Wanda. In a way, it's a lot like how Marvel cast J.K. Simmons as J Jonah Jameson at the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home. It's admitting that no one could have played the character better than this one actor and briefly making fans happy in the process. While also not doing something crazy like having it be the exact same Quicksilver from the X-Men movies. Only f**king idiots would believe something like that...

...

...But hypothetically speaking, let's say some people were stupid to believe that. While making an outrageous claim that the writers "lead them on to doing so." In which case, I will say the same thing that one would say when friend-zoning someone: "Nobody led you on to s**t. You were just too busy focusing on what you wanted to see instead of what you needed to see."

Because there was no evidence that it was the same Quicksilver other than the fact that it was the same actor. And, hypothetically speaking, if there were dozens of crybabies who were upset about it not being the same Quicksilver, then I have so much more respect for this character being nothing more than a boner joke. Because you did this to yourselves...hypothetically speaking.

Retconning Wanda’s Powers: ...I'm ok with this. Retcons happen all the time in the comics, as well as in movies and television. It's just a matter of making the retcon believable enough where there are few holes in what you're telling people. As for Wanda apparently having magic this entire time, but the mind stone amplified her powers? I can buy that. Besides, it's an acceptable excuse to make Wanda as powerful as she is in the comics (from what I've been told), so like I said, I'm ok with this.

“I can’t feel you…”: ...That's fine. I didn't need my heart anyway.

“Vision’s” Talk with “Vision”: Forget the horrible CGIed battles. I want more of this!

Now, I put both Visions in quotation marks because while they're both the same character, they're also...not the same. Which is, funnily enough, what this scene is: A philosophical discussion between two versions of the same android about what makes them both/neither the definitive version. One may look the same, and the other may be the same body, but neither "Vision" really is the true Vision. However, the fact that these two stop their fighting so they can have this discussion in the first place helps secure that while different, they are still the same. It's a thought-provoking discussion, and it is ten times more interesting to watch than Wanda and Agatha's CGI fight in the sky. Although it is kind of odd that White-Vision just peaces out the second Hex-Vision gives him a reboot. But hey, that's for the future movies to deal with.

“Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.”: >Deep inhale<...Girl.

Wanda Saying Goodbye to Vision: >DEEPER INHALE< HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY! I did not expect this much emotional turmoil from f**king WANDAVISION!

Joking aside, this is a well-handled scene. It's incredibly emotional to see these two characters say goodbye to each other as their arcs come to a close. "Vision" peacefully leaves knowing who he is in the world, and Wanda can finally start moving on as she gets to say goodbye to her one true love. It's as bittersweet as it is beautiful.

WHAT I DISLIKE

MCU logos flashing in every episode: You know how CinemaSins has this bulls**t excuse about how the MCU opening logo wastes time to get to the good stuff? This is the only instance where that's applicable. Because the opening logo was cool to see again for the first episode, but having it play in every single one after breaks the immersion when trying to binge the series. It's for a couple of seconds, sure, but after a while, it does get pretty annoying.

Elizabeth Olson as Scarlet Witch: Now, to be clear, I have no problems with Elizabeth Olson's acting ability in this series. She juggles being funny, heartbreaking, and threatening so well that I am likely to laugh and cry with her as I am to s**t my pants while in her presence. Elizabeth Olson does a great job with this character. The problem? Well, in the comics, Wanda Maximoff is Roma, and Elizabeth Olson...isn't. This means that WandaVision, and the MCU as a whole, has a bad case of white-washing.

I could go on about the issues this brings, but I am not as educated about this subject, and all I know is just stuff that seems like common sense. For instance, I believe it is more than reasonable to hire an actor of a specific race or ethnicity for a character who is of a that same race or ethnicity. But that is as far as my knowledge and personal stance goes, and to expand on it would be too much of a risk because I have no right to criticize the representation of something I am not a part of. So instead, I'm going to point you to @earnestdesire‘s blog and Jessica Reidy’s article on the subject. They do a great job at discussing the issues with Olson’s Wanda and pointing to the issues the MCU has in representing Wanda and Pietro's representation in the comics. And they do it in a far better way than I ever could have. So check them out to truly see why, despite doing a great job, Elizabeth Olson should not be the person donning the suit.

It Was Agatha All Along: AND I STILL F**KING HATE THAT!

I know, I know, I am in the minority on this one. And I still don't understand why! To me, Agatha has all of the problems that Hans has in Frozen. Sure, there are hints if you pay more attention during a few select scenes that are slightly questionable. Like how she refers to Wanda as "the star of the show" or coincidentally shows up with a dog house for Sparky. However, much like how Frozen didn't need a villain like Hans, WandaVision didn't need a comic book villain like Agatha. The story was perfectly passable as a personal conflict involving Wanda's grief where the only obstacle was the director of S.W.O.R.D. and his agents. There is nothing Agatha adds to that.

"But she helps Wanda find out what happens!" Yeah, but Monica could have done the same thing by actually breaking through to Wanda and calmly asking what happened. From then on, they could have worked things out together by having Wanda retrace events that transpired through the information that Monica knows as well.

"But Agatha helps Wanda realize what she's doing is wrong!" So could Vision! He could have shown up, did that mind-meld thing to the townspeople, and Wanda would finally learn what she was doing was wrong through the person she trusts the most.

"But Agatha helps Wanda learn that she's the Scarlet Witch!" Ok...but did that need to happen in this series? Because when you think about it, when the central conflict is all about exploring Wanda's grief, throwing in this narrative about becoming the Scarlet Witch has little to do with anything. Meaning that if you cut it from the story, little would change other than cutting a CGI battle that everyone agrees is the worst part of the series.

The most Agatha adds to the story is a secondary conflict that could easily be cut, and the overall quality would stay the same, if not better. And that is a problem. Agatha needs to add to the central conflict in a way that no other character could have. Like, give her a reason to be involved in Wanda’s life that goes beyond feeding off her magic and leading Wanda to her destiny. Because as is, even if you argue that Agatha is a good twist villain, she's a villain that really didn't need to be here.

Director Haywood: But as much as I don't like Agatha, I think we can all agree that Director Haywood is the worst villain in the MCU. Because one issue that Haywood has is a lack of motivation. For instance, why does he try so hard to write off Wanda as this supervillain? It was never explained, and for something so bizarre and crucial to his character, I feel like it needed to be. It would be passable if he was motivated out of fear and ignorance, but Haywood goes so far as to misedit security footage to prove his point. And I don't get why.

Is he sexist?

Did Wanda not show up at his kid's birthday party?

Did he secretly want to use Vision as a sexbot and didn't want Wanda to get between them?

I don't know, and I'll never know.

Plus, on top of having no motivation, Haywood is just forgettable. Agatha may piss me off to no end, but at least I'll remember her. I honestly forgot Haywood's name half the time, and I'm willing to bet that you did too. Case in point, his name isn't even Haywood. It's Hayward. And in the off chance that you didn't even know about that misspelling just proves my point about how forgettable Hayward is. While it's one thing to be hated, it's another to be forgotten. Because that just means that you left so little impact that you aren't even worth getting upset about.

------

And that is what I thought about WandaVision. If I had to base this off my usual score, I'd have to give the show the same 7/10 that everyone else gave it. Because there's a lot that I love, but the stuff that I hate is so problematic that it takes the WandaVision down on a couple of notches. It's still a fantastic series with a solid story, a great message, incredible acting, and phenomenal character development. It's just that not everyone is going to be willing to tune in as much as you might think.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse review: “The Three Caballeros” or State of Your Outfit Donald

The Ride of the Three Caballeros continues, and with reviewed paid for up until legend, we’re fueled up and ready to ride on for some time now. This admittedly has taken a bit longer than I like to get back on the ride, due to a  number of reasons, but i’m back on the ride and these next two were both a pleasure to get to and cover a show that was LONG overdue to show up here: It’s the House of Mouse! For those of you who haven’t heard of it House of Mouse was a Disney show in 2000 that ran on it’s one Saturday morning block, the follow up to the Disney afternoon. It also holds a close place in my heart as these are the versions of Mickey and Co I grew up with, as I had Disney Channel as a kid and they reaired it a LOT, so the show is sorta soaked into my DNA, and is likely the reason why I like Donald and Goofy so much, as their shorts here and their personalities outside them really drew me in. I’ll still be objective mind, but the show means a lot to me and i’m not going to hide that. 

The show has a really amazing setup: Mickey and Co run a club for Disney characters. While no tv characters showed up, anyone who had been in the movies was fair game, and everyone from Hades to both forms of Simba somehow to the horned freaking king showed up. The only exceptions were as I said Tv characters, though Pepper Ann makes a cameo in the pilot, and the Pixar characters.. which is more fair than you think. Keep in mind at the time of this series, there were only three Pixar Movies: Toy Story, a Bug’s LIfe and Toy Story 2, which came out the same year as house of mouse. Not only that Pixar wasn’t owned by Disney at the time, so there was likely a fear they could loose the rights to use the characters at some point and thus didn’t want to chance it.  But yeah this setting is used for great jokes, it’s the source of the “No one does X like gaston!” meme and it’s funny every time they do that gag. Though the main stars of the show are still mickey and co with each having a fitting position in the club’s hierachy: MIckey and Donald, being equal stars, co-own the club, though Donald sometimes feels overshadowed. Mickey, with his people skills and cheer is the MC and host. Donald, given his jack of all trades nature and butt monkey status, is guest services, in charge of taking care of the club’s featured guests and naturally having it backfire, as well as sometimes envying Mickey’s spot and trying to take it over. Minnie, being level headed, keeps things running, planning the show and managing finaces as well as calming Mickey when he gets panicky. Daisy runs guest services while trying to break out on her own and is somewhat of a ditz in this series, though not overly dumb or incompetent, just a bit of an air head is all, and her sweet bubbly nature makes her very likeable. That and outside the shorts at least, she’s very nice to Donald here and their realtionship is very sweet, hence it being one of the four versions of it I like.  Goofy is head waiter, which fits him because.. I dunno they needed one. But he does the job well even if he naturally screws up a bunch because Goofy. Pluto is also around as a personal assitant because eh why not.  But what really stood out abotu the show to me, even more so as an adult, was  the supporting cast. As a kid, I was introduced to a lot of the disney side characters i’d never heard of before, all of whom get a decent amount of screen time over the series, while as an adult, I find it heartwarming they brought these characters back and fleshed them out after not being used on screen for so long, with one big exception that was still nice of them to use and helps bridge the generation gap. 

The rest of the HOM crew consisted of Hoarce, Mickey’s friend who was used a lot early on and who works as the club’s engineer and handyman, Clarabelle, also often forgotten but thoroughly defined here as a loveable gossip and acted wonderfully by the incomparable April Winchell. I credit this show for making me love both characters especially Clarabelle and wanting to see them more. 

We also have Gus, a far more obscure on screen character. Gus is Donald’s Cousin, and as of this writing is the ONLY one of Donald’s three majorly used Cousins to have not shown up in the Ducktales reboot. Gus is also the only one whose not a comics original, to my shock, instead showing up in the short “Donald’s Cousin Gus”, communicating only through honks and eating all of Donald’s food. He was naturally adapted for the comics, where while still having a huge appetite became more bossed with being a lazy while working with Grandma Duck, his and Donald’s Grandma. He’s so different between mediums I genuinely forgot he was in this show and didn’t realize he and the chef from this show were the same person. Still it’s nice to see him and hopefully he’ll make the reboot before it ends.  Finally rounding out the supporitng cast we have Huey Dewey and Louie, who mostly show up as the quackstreet boys to dance and are kind of inbetween their classic designs and their quack pack versions: They have the hair from quack pack, but seem more like their 12-13, a bit older than standard, but sitll not as old as they are in Quack Pack. They also don’t talk which is a vast improvement over Quack Pack. And finally, and more prominently, we have Max, who as I said bridges the gap between generations and I think was an amazing inclusion. He not only gave younger viewers like me a character they knew better, but allowed the character’s story to continue a bit, clearly taking place after xtreme but having him actually go on a date with Roxanne. Thank you House of Mouse Writers. your doing Golb’s work.  Antagonist wise we have Pete, as usual trying to muck things up and presumibly flush with post divorce cash. He’s the club landlord, and wants Mickey out for reasons that are never explained, but as long as the show goes on and Mickey pays rent on time, the show goes on. Being Pete, he naturally tries to sabotage things. It’s a good device. The other is Mortimer, probably the series deepest cut alongside Gus as he only shwoed up in one short but the series easily made him one of my faviorites: A Sleazy asshole who tries to pick up on Minnie (who thankfully this go round is not at all receiptve), tries to get on the card, and constnatly says Ha-Cha-Cha. Maurice LaMarche, this show had a REALLY talented voice cast can you tell?, really owned the character and has been his voice since and really took him from a one dimensional douche to a LOVEABLE asshole. 

Granted most of this.. really isn’t relevant as only the main cast show up, but it’s an aspect of the show I like so I went into it anyway. Plus i’ll defintely be coverng the show again so this saves me time for later.  Back on point though, the show’s format was a problem of the week, ranging from guest troubles to pete shenigans to internal strife in the club to just general sitcom shenanigans, going on at the club, with shorts inserted in from a previous Mickey Show, Mickey MouseWorks. MouseWorks was a short lived, pun intended, show that didn’t do so good, so they had a bunch of these shorts sitting around including some that never aired on the show, and thus inserted them as cartoons being played for the club patrons. It was a great device and the shorts, while varying in quality , are mostly pretty good and were the first Disney Shorts I saw. It was a good format, allowing the main stories to have plenty of time, but not have to overpad them or anything and with so many shorts on hand they could simply write the story to be as long as they needed and then insert however many shorts were needed. It worked well. 

So yeah as you can tell I truly love this show and it introduced a lot of stuff to me. And naturally.. that includes the Three Caballeros here, with their song here being stuck in my head for years and this being the first time they’d shown up in decades... which is ironically how long it took for me to see their movie but regardless. The boys were back, and you can see how the show did with them, under the cut. 

Something to note, No Disney Plus this time.. because BAFFLINGNLY the show is not on there, despite no rights issues holding it up I’m aware of, and the show having every other mouse and duck related animated series on there. I know, I’ve talked about this before, even in this very retrospective.. but I keep bringing it up because it’s something you easily forget about. Something that may slip away. But don’t let it. Let them know, and get our shows on there already. Christ.  Anyways, due to the show’s format of sliding the shorts in, and to make thing easier on me for house of mouse reviews i’m simply going to do the shorts first, then the main plot. Good? Good. 

This one only had two, though it varied on how many they used, and some were just super short shorts anyway, so it all balances out and as I said, i’ts better they just told as much story as was there than tried to rush it. So without further adue...

Donald’s Fish Fry: Poor Poor Humphrey  Yeah I didn’t like this one. The premise is using the old character Humphrey the Bear.. only here instead of being the antagonist the ranger present basically bullies the poor bear, while the other bears constnatly get more fish than him when it’s their registered time to fish. It’s just agrvating.. and when the poor boy finally GETS a fish, Donald snatches it.  Donald isn’t unsympathetic here, he found the fish fairly.. but it’s hard to tell who we’re supposed to root for here. Humphrey, who just wants what’s his, or Donald whose oblivious but technically in the wrong. This kind of slapstick just.. dosen’t work as well with both sides being sympathetic. It can work with say bugs and daffy, because both are equal, but there’s clearly an antagonistc force in elmer fudd. But this type of shenanigan just dosen’t work when neither side deserves the punishment, and Humphrey did nothing wrong. I felt like this for supporting him the whole time. 

And it ends with the ranger getting the fish. Because he wasn’t unlikeable enough clearly. Though Humphrey does get some beans so yay? Also the house segment after has Ranger Dickhead stealing Humphrey’s dinner, which given he’s at the club he CLEARLY paid for because it’s too fatty. Fuck you dude. I hope Goofy threw you out for that one. Just not a fun sit. I’ve seen this kind of shenanigan done better, in disney classic shorts even. I’ve seen Don as the villian better, See Trick or Treat for a good example> There’s just.. nothing here and it goes on forever. This is a good chunk of the episode! Lordy! Just a genuinely bad short. Thankfully the next one while not as word inducing is also not as headache inducing How to Be Smart: Now THESE were my faviorites as a kid. I loved goofy, so shorts about him were no brainer but even now.. these are still funny. Basically a narrator would follow Goofy around while he tries to learn how to do something, in this case how to get smarter after loosing on a gameshow .. and owing the show three milion dollars. There’s not much ot go into, it’s basically a series of jokes about Goofy going to school from elementary to college and learning his way up while Dealing with Ludvig’s bratty nephew and his own stupidity. It’s a funny short and really well done and these are easily some of the show’s best shorts and this is no exception. Unlike  the Humphrey short, where this essentially happened. 

My soul and I gladly enjoyed How to Be Smart. Dare to NOT be stupid and check this short out. 

The Wraparound: And I”m Donald Duck! As for the main segment it’s pretty good. We open with Mickey hyping up tonight’s act, which is naturally the Three Caballeros! But trouble sets in as Donald, while proud at first, is rightfully annoyed that a man on the street segment shows NO ONE remembers he was in the group. Including his best friend goofy. Only Pumba does, somehow. I dunno maybe he dated Panchito once before meating timon. Point is Donald dosen’t take this well, even if we get a nice moment of Daisy swooning over the fact.. even if being  HOM Daisy, she can’t get the name right. But given i’ve had trouble spelling it right, I’m one to talk. 

So being Donald he overreacts, which I like as.. well it’s Donald. Of course when given a very resonable reason to get upset he takes it a step too far. In this case he’s gotten an army of lawers, refuses to speak to mickey and has put ... THIS on. I showed it at the top of the page but.. well it bears repeating. 

It’s like every bad thing about the early 2000′s, from the douchey shades, to the rings, to the golden knuckles, to the hat that looks like a penis, to the no donald logo. There should be all the donalds, ALL OF THEM. He also has an army of lawyers, and naturally resorts to hot doggin and grandstanding: Signing autographs during the show, putting a giant poster of himself up. It works okay, as it makes him unsympathetic for the next part to work and is really funny which is the point. Even if again he looks like the feces that’s produced when shame eats too much stupidity. 

Instead of just getting Dale Gribble in there, Mickey is at a loss for a solution till the boys show up and.. it’s a mixed bag. Carlos  Alazraqui is excellent as Panchito, slipping into the roll well. Unlike last time the character showed up, they did NOT get a mexican actor, but Carols is still Latino, so it’s still better than what they did for Jose, and still big of them to actually bother to get a Latino actor to play a latino role.  Jose on the other hand.. is played, and not very good, by Rob Paulson. And before anyone throws stuff at me, I love Rob. I will  be gushing about him when I get around to reviewing the animaniacs reboot. He’s a god among voice actors and I love him. But his voice, at least in this ep dosen’t really .. FIT Jose, and he dosen’t really match the characters energy which is VERY weird given Animaniacs was right before this. The guy can DO energy and it’s one of his best talents. He STILL can as evidenced by both TMNT 2012 and the Animaniacs revival. It’s just not one of his better performances. I love the guy but even gods have off days.  And of course there’s the bigger issue of the very white Rob shouldn’t be playing the very Brazilian Jose. Not matching nationatlies is one thing, it sucks, but The Three Cablleros had a much bigger budget than HOM likely did. HOWEVER, it couldn’t of been that hard to find two latino voice actors in 2000, especially when you found at least one. I get this wasn’t as big a thing but when the 1940′s did better than you, you know you screwed up. 

But it probably dosen’t help the two.. barely do anything. Despite the episode being named after them, they only show up towards the end and just sorta say hi to mickey, get cool entrances, and then seeing Donald being a dick and Mickeya sking for their help, humble him with their musical number.  And the Musical Number IS really good, it’s been in my head for years and is just as catchy as the classic “Three Cabllero’s Song”.. why they didn’t sing that I don’t know, but this original one, a light knockoff of la bamba is still really fun and bouncy and the gags are good. It’s a really good climax and Donald deserves his punishment.  The only really issue is the ending, as.. no one leaned anything. No one acknowledges how forgotten Donald felt, Mickey dosen’t seem to get the issue as his “promoting Donald” at the end to make sure he’s not forgotten.. just has a bunch of jabs at his expense, and Donald dosen’t apologize..t hougH daisy is really sweet to him so we got some Donsy at least. It’s just a weak ending to an otherwise excellent wraparound.  Final Thoughts: This one was.. okay. Shorts aside, i’ve said my peace about them, the wraparound is a lot of fun, as is the musical number, even if the “artist formerly known as” joke was played out even in 2000. I mean yeas Prince changing his name to a symbol was insane, I get that.. but by then everyone had clowned on that decision and given he did so in a bizarre act of defiance towards his label, at a time where we now know how scummy record labels can be, it hasn’t aged well. It’s just the weak climax, song not included, really drags things down. The Cabs are just.. a cameo in their own damn episode, even with the full musical number and could’ve been around more. They don’t get to show off personalities or really do anything but teach Donald a lesson and are basically one indivdiual here. It sticks out even more because Rosa had both be utterly distinct and showed the utmost care while here.. their just sorta tossed in so they could have Donald be a primadona.. which itself is funny but on the whole this episode was just.. disappointing to revisit. It was disheartening to learn one of my favorite episodes as a kid wasn’t that good. It is worth checking out if you like Donald or the cabs, provided you skip the first short. Trust me, trust me, but is far from the best the house of mouse has to offer and hopefully the next one will show that.  Next time when the Ride continues, my gig at the house of mouse gets held over another night as Jose teaches Goofy manners and Panchito helps deprogram him from that. Before that I hope to get to the next chapter of life and times and some other stuff i’ve had hanging, including the next loud house and the next part of the tomtropsective, as well as some new things that have come up like said review of the animaniacs reboot and a review of Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Obsidan. Until then if you liked this review, please check out my other pages for more, follow me to see them, and if you’d like to comission your own, just hit me up in my ask box for my discord or personal message me here on tumblr. Until then, ther’es always another rainbow. I’m out. 

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

AUGUST PICKS!

And we’re back with another month wrap up! August involved a lot of TV watching (as per usual), but I feel like I watched a lot of things I’ve already talked about before (ex: The 100, Violetta). So it was a little bit harder to feature some new titles. I felt accomplished this month because I finished quite a few series. So, without further ado...let’s do this!

Spoilers!! But you knew that already :) 

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So I know I’ve spoken about some of these shows A LOT recently, but I still had to include them in this wrap up because they were a good amount of the month. (Even if they feel like they were so long ago.) 

CURSED

This book to screen adaptation on Netflix following Nimue (AKA the Lady of the Lake) re-invents the King Arthur myth. It was an entertaining and enjoyable watch that makes me hope there’s a second season. There were certain parts that bothered me and I wish some characters had more time on screen, but as someone who likes King Arthur and fantasy TV I’d recommend it. 3/5 for me. 

For more on my thoughts regarding the show check out my earlier post: **Spoilers** Featuring Cursed

DC’S STARGIRL

A show that I’ve often been documenting my reviews/feelings after watching each episode. (That’s how you can tell IT’S THAT GOOD.) While it was a bit slow in the beginning (mainly because of it having the quality of being on a streaming service-ending on a cliffhanger for you to binge the next episode immediately kind of feel), it picked up and has easily become one of my favorites for the year. (YEAH...I KNOW. I SAID YEAR.) You can check out my page for more specific reactions in my posts, but here are some of the moments that stick out to me the most when I think about season 1.  

I can’t wait for season 2!!

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

June doesn’t feel like that long ago, but because I started season 1 two months ago (and because of the world of quarantine) it feels like a long time ago. Especially when this show is only 18-20 episodes that are each about 20/25 minutes. For me, I enjoyed season 1, but not as much as seasons 2 and 3. I definitely watched the first season slower because of this. Once the Ba Sing Se plot happened I was very invested. I enjoyed most of Book 2 in the Earth Kingdom before this, but Ba Sing Se was definitely the best. I was so impressed that they put that into a kid show. Then again, there’s so much in this show that is well done and brings up such relevant issues to a younger audience. I loved following Aang, Katara and Sakka and enjoyed Toph’s addition to Team Avatar. Overall I think Uncle Iroh is my favorite character in the show. I loved all the wisdom he had and how he saw the best in Zuko the entire time. Their team up was great and I am so happy he got his tea shop in the end. His escape from prison was amazing. I love a good redemption arc and from the start was excited to see Prince Zuko’s (it’s one of the ‘spoilers’ I knew going in). I think it was really well done and I liked how they showed him struggling with it. The last agni kai between Zuko and Azula was such a beautiful scene and the music score behind it was so chilling. I love how they chose a slow, instrumental song to play in the background. It’s not what I was expecting and it was such an awesome choice. Overall, I really liked the music and have added it to my writing playlist. I’m really glad I decided to watch Avatar the Last Airbender. 

From one binged show starting in June to another....

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

It’s crazy; you don’t think 80 episodes would go by that fast, but they do. Once you hit episode 50, I just zip by the rest in the season. So many of the plots get SO GOOD, you can’t help but watch so many episodes back to back (to back). For season 2, episode 75 was one of my favorites for the whole season. I love how some of the cast actually got to go to Madrid. (Even the intro music changed when they were there.) Diego really grew on me. I loved the added plot of discovering who his dad is! Feels very telenovela. Gregorio’s reaction was priceless-such great acting-and I loved how much it has changed his character so far. I’m excited to see where he is headed for season 3. 

Leonetta forever! The reason they weren’t together was a bit weak, but I get they needed the love triangle. Overall the Leon/Violetta/Diego love triangle was a lot stronger than season 1′s (in my opinion). It felt better developed. I enjoyed a lot of the couples this season. Frederico and Ludi are a pair I didn’t know I wanted till it happened. Olga and Ramallo actually got a kiss!!! I loved hearing Ramallo talk about how Olga is the only woman in his life. So rare to see such emotions from him. Fran and Leon’s friendship was adorable. I loved their moments in Madrid. She was their #1 shipper. I know in the beginning I said there wasn’t a lot of music and performances, but as the season progressed we definitely got a lot of new songs (which I cannot stop singing). I miss my time at the Studio and hope the third season will be streaming on Disney Plus soon. I heard it could be September 18th so fingers crossed!! 

THE INBESTIGATORS

Filling the void that was left by Little Lunch (and produced by the same studio) is the InBESTigators! A show that follows 4 elementary students who live in Australia and solve mysteries. One of the things I really loved about Little Lunch was how serious they made really trivial, kid-like things sound. I have often described it as an Office-like children’s show, where they talk about their problems directly to the camera and give several ‘Jim’ stares and glances to the camera. With the InBESTigators it’s a similar set up where our four sleuths, Ezra, Maudie, Ava and Kyle, relay a mystery they solved directly to us the viewer, while we watch in flashback. All of the mysteries are typical things that could happen in school or home; from overwatering a neighbor’s prize-winning flowers, packages getting stolen, a lost notebook or catching a cheater during a test. All of the kids are entertaining and funny. They each have a different dynamic that brings something to the team. Currently two of the seasons are on Netflix, and there will be a third season (but who knows when it will be filmed-I’m just happy it will eventually happen). 

If you’re looking for a fun/light-hearted watch look no further. You’ll have a good time. 

UNITED WE FALL

This ABC sitcom fits well on the network and like it would be on Friday nights, but has a stronger day in airing thanks to the pandemic. I hadn’t really heard much about the show and then BAM it was advertised. It felt like the network had it in its back pocket. Nevertheless, I am really enjoying it. The actors have a nice dynamic and it is very funny and relatable. I like how it represents a family with two different cultural backgrounds, but doesn’t make that the main focus of the show. Instead it is discussed naturally. Overall, I don’t know how many people know about it, so I wanted to share it as one of my picks for the month and suggest you watch it if you are looking for something both funny and optimistic. 

DOUBLING DOWN WITH THE DERRICOS

I LOVE this family! As TLC is a network with predictable choices in TV shows, one about a family with multiples does not seem shocking. However, this is not your average family with multiples. At the start of the show, Karen and Deon have a total of 11 children (with only two of them being what they called ‘singletons’). They have twins, quints, and another set of twins (that would have been triplets). Her last three pregnancies were multiples and then she becomes pregnant with triplets. AGAIN! This family is considered a miracle because she had no IVF or anything like that for her conceptions. I love watching them because they seem like a great group to be apart of. They are what the epitome of family should be like. There is so much love. I know when my family watches the show we are all so impressed by how well behaved all of the kids are. People with half the amount of kids often have trouble teaching them to behave. I highly suggest giving the Derricos a watch. New episodes are now airing on TLC. 

SOME LAST MINUTE ADDS....

I know Ben Platt’s concert has been available on Netflix for a while now, but I just got the chance to watch it this month. It was SOOO GOOD and I was upset when it was over. It felt so fast! I had already added a lot of his songs to my playlists, and after watching added the last few I had missed. Now I’ve been listening non-stop. I loved how his concert welcomed us so much into his personal life. The added stories in-between songs helped to see why he created that specific one. Watching the concert was a fun time and something you should consider if you are feeling down during quarantine. 

Every Saturday night we try to watch a movie while we eat dinner. It’s become a new tradition since quarantine began and we were unable to go out to eat or to the movies. This week Jojo Rabbit was the pick. Going into the film, I didn’t know much expect, but that it was a comedy and I assumed a satire. What I didn’t expect was how dark of a turn it would take. It’s amazing how a film can have you laughing uncontrollably at the start and then have you crying at the end. This is definitely a film I could see analyzing in a film studies class. There was so much foreshadowing and moments where so much more was going on then what was shown on the surface. I think it did a great job making the viewer think not only about the time in which it was supposed to take place, but also our current world. I know it’s a good movie when it still has me thinking about it days later. I even did some research into it after watching. Definitely can understand the hype about it and will watch it again in the future. 

When I was putting this list together I was just starting to watch Umbrella Academy. I know, I’m late to the party, but with the newest season coming out this summer I knew it was now or never. (I just had to finish some of the other stuff I was watching first.) Currently, I only have 1 episode left in the first season and am really enjoying it. I was pretty good about spoilers going into it, so a lot of it was new to me. I made some theories on who I thought would be the cause of the apocalypse and so far I am right. I am very interested to see how this season ends and get into the next one because I heard that the majority of people liked that one more. I’ll have a more detailed review in my September Picks, I’m sure of it!  

[curious-minx]

Heat Lamp vol. [i]

A how-to guide on harnessing the very best light for your under-lit overly priced hovel! In Style!

“Lighting is everything, you goon!” spits Magda Marlene, and, of course, she’s absolutely correct.

“Don’t call me a goon, Magda! I’m trying my best. Have you ever tried shopping around for the best possible lights? Of course not. The challenge of conceiving of wattage and luminosity in the abstract blue light tech etching our basic human retinas will never compete with the likes of you. “ Elroy wipes away the trail of verbiage slipping down his prominent jawline. He attempts to grab at Magda to make her take him seriously, but it was impossible, because after all she is enshrouded in light. She is the kind of bruising overwhelming beauty that is perpetually well lit. Magda has endured a panorama of over stuffed suits of testosterone tossing off a clip of one-liners about her “lighting up a room,” because she had already brightened her entire surrounding vicinity. Light seeping out as far as several stories above and below whatever apartment is lucky enough to grace her presence. You had to alert your local neighboring Vampire’s of someone like Magda coming around. To forget would be akin to a hate crime. 

“I do take pity on you sallow beef man. You are close, so close I can nearly taste your success, but this lack of suitable lighting! This will  be your ruin. That’s what all the Entertainment and Arts are all about-,”

“Yes, the lighting! The wonderful bright, but not too bright lighting. I know Magda. Ugh! I much prefer if we go back to when you would stick to sending me laymen articles on the anatomy of human eyeballs and the latest breakthroughs in light-based therapy, but now all I hear is your dogmatic barking.” 

“You sure do talk a lot for a layman. Why did you want to touch me? Don’t tell me you’re starved for human contact!” 

“Of course not! Don’t be foolish! You know I’m not attracted to you. It’s the only reason why you even bother gracing me with your infernal light. Why won’t you sell some of your light source already?”

“Oh no no no, not this this again. I will have no further discussion about the selling off of my light.” 

“You won’t share your light, you won’t sell your light, but all I ever hear you go on and on about is the importance of light! Don’t you think you’re being a little selfish?” Elroy tries sizing Magda up and all around with his big soulful hazel  brown dopey puppy dog eyes. 

“What is this, ‘on and on’ slander? That’s a complete and total falsity! I barely even talk to you! You asked me to come over and help you pick out a new light. Yet here you stand insulting me and everything I represent. I knew all men were trash! I really wanted a reciprocal  easy going friendship receptacle. Like the ones you see on flashy American sitcoms, but no! Instead you reek of man boy desperation. You are not Easy Elroy, nor are you sleazy enough to warrant a pass. Good day!” And with that Magda leaves Elroy in his room. A room that is painted a banana baby sick off-scrambled eggs shade of yellow that made Elroy think of himself as a “warmed over Simpson” whenever he looks at himself with his overhead lights on. Magda leaves him behind so that she can go attend a life devoid of preening men devoid of any elevated levels of cognitive stimulus. Magda had a strong feeling deep inside that being eaten out by Elroy would feel either like the confectionary sugar clinging to a beater or a cow pondering the universe with a cud.  Magda has bigger prospects to attend such as the purchasing of a new Ultrasonic Television, a television for people too interesting to own a regular television. Now this is a process more grueling than picking out some sort of pathetic LED lights set out to emphasize poor life choices. 

Magda’s candles burn ferociously for the scented perfume wick of her occasional beaux Hillary. Oh sweet sister Hillary.  Magda flips a dizzy spell as she gets behind the wheel of her space craft. In the driver’s seat she grabs and teases pinching caresses onto her sides, hands running underneath her shirt and imagines Hillary’s hazy visage.  Magda turns on The Quick’s Mondo Deco, the album is lodged into the fourth track already, “Hillary.” The porto-phrenetic ASMR zipper crunch! The perfect symmetry of a song making sense for the right woman in the right space and time. Magda wishes she could be some special somebody’s Kim Fowley. She knew she has the making of a Valkyrie companion. Mostly a bottom, but occasionally there’s a switch…a candy striped hypnosis stick being cradled in Magda’s hand turns her space craft into autopilot. The space craft assumes a sensible soaring speed, sharing the sky with all the other avians and sky ships. Magda lands onto the fetid grassless knoll where she finds the manor of Scent Maven Monique. A west coast equivalent of a Hobbit Hole in the Hills. Except instead of a 5,7” English gentleman it is a 5,7” Black American bohemian scientist woman. Magda lights up one of Monique’s Pixie Stix a jolt of nicotine, THC, estrogen, nootropicals, and most importantly caffeine. Cigarettes that don’t make you smell like cigarettes, that don’t make you smell like anything, but a hint, a wink, a whisper, and a prayer of exotic bubblegum. 

A Vaping Assassin is prowling on her rooftop. Antonia, The Daycrawler, of course. A woman so intimidating in strength and beauty that all law officers around the country worship at her talon toes. Lines of swat teams, cops, and military official personally see fit the they get their asses beaten by Antonia’s hand each and every year at The National Cop Christmas Party. Monique is constantly alienating, offending and inspiring everyone she works with, but they usually only send soft assassins like Soy Hands Flannigan or the Detangler. Magda believes that this must be the opening salvo of a new killer regime. 

“Quit your daydreaming Magda Marlene! Are you really about to let me red rover your special number one gal? I am dropping through the ceiling now! Catch ya later!” Antonia is always narrating her actions to her blind brother Donovan who makes glass sculptures for an assassin’s memento. Some assassins keep locks of hair, some assassins keep emails, some assassins bond and indulge their impotent’s brother pop art. The giant blocky neon green rotary telephone with each notch designed with a mysterious suggestion of a dreary person. A lot of guilt trips about being sent to  mental institutions and the occasional rainbow clamshell birth control pill case. All glass blown by the Daycrawler’s blind and naive brother. Monique doesn’t stand a chance! 

“Oh no,” mouths Magda. She’s going to be vaporized by that tall Nordic pillar of mayhem. Quentin Tarantino might as well be hanging himself up here on Monique’s roof turning himself into the human satellite, beaming this impeding cyclone of beautiful woman on beautiful woman violence for all of his cronies to see. “Not today,” mouths Magda. With a flick of her wrist, bracelets of light begin forming and overlapping. Discs of light coursing up and down Magda’s forearm. Magda then hides her arms underneath her long and flowing cherry blossom trench coat. Magda’s light does not instantly light up the rest of Monique’s abode. Antonia is hiding her frustration and she looks around Monique’s mostly spacious and poorly lit living quarters. Seeing only a completely stainless steel coated mini-kitchen and a chest level table top. No chairs. No other furniture or trace of personality. Magda hopes that this cat and mouse game will grow less cheesy and the Daycrawler will soon leave irate and hungry. 

“Aha! You got me good Light Bright. Of course you knew she wasn’t here and distracted me. For such good work I will personally see to killing you myself. I haven’t murdered anyone in over twelve hours. Do you know how rusty an assassin can get in that time? First, I must take a shower. Surely this lab rat has some sort of hose or bucket and pulley system to wash herself?”Antonia begins sizing up the space, trying to squint a bathroom into existence. 

“I believe her bathroom is right next the front door. You must have accidentally passed in when you were getting yourself worked up into this bloodlust.” Magda suddenly feels completely at ease. Yes, she could easily blind and frankly obliterate this toned and blonde killing machine. Doesn’t matter though, because Magda realizes that she has this whole ordeal in her pocket and it’s only a matter of Antonia getting into that shower. Magda goes to raise her fist in conquest but then meets resistance. Antonia’s silent rope snakes! They are giving Magda the world’s most cold blooded group hug. Magda knows she must submit to the plan. She grimaces feeling the ridges of her teeth and wait to unleash her light show. 

////

Antonia has been in the shower for over and hour and half. Magda is only now starting to bruise because the rope snakes have grown lethargic and weak ever since the water started. The rope snakes are clinging on to Magda out of obligation and lethargy. The water stops and a shrill elongated sigh is heard from the bathroom. Antonia, the Daycrawler, emerges from heavy plump clouds of perfumed steam. Magda thinks she can detect a hint of Ceylon Cinnamon and gun smoke, but you can never tell with Monique and her smells. Antonia is a lot drier than you would expect for someone who has ostensibly been bathing for the past two hours and she is wearing an oversized clumsy kimono with her hair wrapped up in a towel. 

“Alright, where is she?” Antonia asks in a voice that is almost saccharine and faint. 

“She’s clearly not here. Let’s revisit the fact that you were going to behead me as a house warming gift. How about instead you rob me of one of my kidneys? They are oozing with glow-stick fluid, but they never stop glowing! Please don’t kill me!” Magda says fully aware that Antonia is not going to kill, at least not while she’s so fresh out of the shower. 

“That’s what I need to talk to her about. I suddenly no longer have my urge to kill! Not you, you, or anyone else ever again!”says Antonia breathless like she is hearing her voice for the first time.

“I thought you were killing out of profession?”

Antonia crouches down and is almost blushing as she asks, “Why are you still on the floor like that? Can’t you not fry us up some rope snake snacks? Or wait! Are you like me and need the sunlight to fully operate?” Antonia begins opening up every window and even trying to create new windows in Monique’s house to let the light in. 

“Fine! I’ll do it! You made me do it!” Magda unleashes her light that sets off as a retina unfriendly supernova. The light charged specifically around her arms were even still lit up and racing to be shot off as blades of light into the nearest surface. 

“See? That’s wasn’t so bad! Why do you get so…so conservative about using your light whenever you’re around me?”

“I don’t want to end up blinding or hurting anyone.” Magda says still on the ground facing onto Monique’s steel plated sterile floors. 

“Even someone who was moments ago trying to kill your friend and you for the thrill of murder?”

“Your an easy target Daycrawler,” Magda gathers herself back up into a standing stance,” You are exactly the type that would change your mind if given half a chance. I still feel like you could plunge your famous ribbon blade into my personal generator… ” Magda trails off realizing that Antonia is no longer listening to her. She is still running her reformed(?) killer’s hands through her honey flaxen unwieldy tower of hair that only a towering murderess could support. 

“That shampoo it’s, it’s going to help a lot of people. I’m waiting to see the catch. Like with her cancer-free candy cigarettes they’re too good to be true, right?”Antonia takes in another long inhalation of her own hair and takes one lock and flecks her tongue only at the tip of the follicle. The one blank wall inside Monique’s apartment spins around revealing Monique on the other side who steps up and says without missing a beat:

“They’re called Pixie Stix!” Monique fully emerges from her illusion wall hiding the hint of a laboratory.  She lights up a Pixie stick of her own which begins flooding the spartan space. Who needs furniture when you bask in a smell this sweet? Magda lets her guard down and lights up the rest of the space turning the formerly drab and empty hovel into a chic and spacious boutique. “Lighting!” Continues Monique, “With the right lights and an overwhelming pungent odor reveals the path to an enveloping inner peace. No matter how small or unfashionable your home or hovel happens to be there could possibly be an outlet for a chosen few people that the three of us could use to build our own society or something?” Monique turns on music by malodorous mall core cyborg nu metal pop band called Neon Betty Degenerates. Antonia goes over to Monique and gently forces Monique’s bangled and gloved clammy hand into a boisterous hand shake. A Kashmir blossom shaped pin attached to Monique’s vegan leather newsboy cap opens up and contracts. The blossom is spraying out a mist invisible to the human eyes, directed into Antonia’s face. Antonia then immediately releases Monique and she turns away from the gangly scientist, she unravels the towel from her hair and starts sprinting outside of Monique’s house. Antonia begins climbing up the lone ancient hundreds of feet tall redwood tree watching over Monique’s property. Antonia climbs up to the tree in record time, she is nothing but a blur of momentum and rustling branches. Antonia, the Daycrawler, jumps out into the sky with the grace of a flying squirrel leaving her nest, and she’s reached enough height so that she can use the heel of her shoe to write, “I’m sorry! <3 I will work on respecting your personal space” in a cloud-based font. 

Magda turns to Monique who has completely flipped open her furtive laboratory, revealing the glow of scent analysis technology calling out to Magda begging her to crank up the wattage. Before submerging back into her lab, Monique turns to Magda and tells her, “Antonia is seemingly the only person my Perfumed Personality is working on. Do you think that will be enough?” Monique directs this question more to the ether than to anyone in particular. 

“Looks like it’s really working on her though. Oh right, before you leave. I am going through this really tough crush on someone and was hoping that you’d have some-“ Magda stops talking. Monique enters her lab leaving Magda behind in the empty kitchen and the lingering vapors of the ethical strawberry and lavender pacifist shampoo. Magda knows that she probably won’t see Monique emerge back out from her work for another two weeks at the latest. Magda shivers and steps outside and all of her pent up light energy continues bursting forth from her navel, banners of light shooting from her forehead, spotlights dancing out of each of her fingertips. Magda’s light even causes the clouds that Antonia used as calligraphy to break into a sweat. The extreme daylight and the small patch of rain causes a family of foxes to burst forth from out of the ground and carry on a quick and sweet wedding. Magda climbs on top of a dune and watches the wedding ceremony from afar. She remembers Hillary and groans, a sticky and somber sound. Magda has her revery broken by the sound of a voice calling from below the dune.

“cOuld yOu pleeze take Our picha, lamp lady? Da lurvely cOupa wOuld be sO grateful!!” The source of the voice is coming from an approaching silver fox who has a slight wobble in his gait. Magda looks at the silver fox further and notices that he also has two plastic and springy legs. Magda not wanting to seem judgmental, sighs and takes the fox’s hefty Kodiak bridge cam and without even taking time to focus the lens takes the picture. The newly wedded couple and the silver fox open up the camera’s finder and look at the results and start panting in approval. They have never seen themselves look so well lit before. 

“Daddy! You must pay this kind lady Beacon mucho ancient coins! I’ve never looked this good!” Magda smiles and shakes her head and puts her hands into her pockets, leaving the foxes behind. She readjusts her trench coat and puts on a large wide-brimmed blackout hat she keeps in a box shaped fanny pack. Even while wearing her light suppression accessories each and every passing streetlamp emits a powerful sphere of light that dims with each of Magda’s passing step. Most of the houses in Magda’s neighborhood are heavily tranquilized and sleeping in deprivation tanks so the dramatic light fluctuations don’t bother most. One overhead apartment pulls back its drapes and an angry shirtless and chiseled man has taken out a mirror and trying to reflect the light back down at the street. The power of the light’s heat creates another pothole into the road, which causes the man to start swearing and yelling incoherently. Magda kneels down onto the empty sidewalk and rubs her palms together causing the street lights to dim back down to their normal level. Magda’s face looks pale and she begins moving at a slower pace.

“Damn…I’m so close. Being mindful of so many people really sucks. I think I’m going to lie down in this pile of moss and maybe I’ll wake up back in my bed.” Magda hums a lullaby to herself and begins folding herself into a ball of fading light. Magda is blacking out.

///

She opens up her eyes as soon as she registers motion. Magda is being carried in somebody’s arms! Magda almost cranks up her internal light furnace but then she smells the tangy coconut cologne of Elroy. 

“What did I tell you about picking up tramps?” Asks Magda with a yawn. “Put me down you goon!” Elroy immediately does so and gives Magda her space.

“Of course, I’m sorry Magda. I was out scouting shoot locations for a new headshot this week and saw your abandoned space craft on the side of road. Knowing you as well as I do I had a feeling that you were probably enjoying one of your unnecessary sojourns. Thankfully you left it in one of the bougiest possible neighborhoods so I think you’ll be fine with picking it up tomorrow. I’ll leave you be. Clearly you are wanting some time alone.” Elroy brushes off a twig out of Magda’s hair and starts walking back into his own shabbier Electric Hover Desert Rabbit.  

“Any luck with your lamp search?”asks Magda causing Elroy to stop in his tracks and turn around revealing an excitable grin.

“I found this Ponce de Leon Torchier that promises to age and de-age me based on what kind of bulb I put into it. There’s  this audition for a movie about a man breastfeeding his own child I got. The role comprises of both the child and the father, it’s a student film but the kid directing is supposed to have a real stash of connections.” Chatters Elroy, clearly trying to regain a sense of joviality between him and Magda. 

“I have actually never really bothered playing with light in that way before. How are you so good at online shopping? And here I was about to actually consider giving you a droplet of my very own light” sneers Magda as she enters through the lamp shaded gate of her parent’s compound. 

“What?! Really! Wait Magda I’ll gladly take some of your light off of your hands! Come on, come back!” Magda leaves Elroy behind once again and a roving street sweeper pushes him up the current of streaming sidewalk leading deeper into the Energy District. He calls out to Magda yelling her name as he’s being street swept away. Magda turns copper green with regret with even toying around with the idea of sharing any amount of light. Especially with a total goon like Elroy! The family leopard spotted moth, Sapphire, comes whooshing up to Magda giving her a silky kiss. Magda grins and brushes the silk away from her face and picks up a floating torch, lights it with her finger and tosses it as far as she can throw, which due to the pent up hormonal surging emotional cycle Hillary has gotten Mega into, turns out to be quite far. Sapphire flap flap flaps her wings into a column of speed and chases after the floating torch. The outside ladder leading to her room has been rolled up. 

“Because of course!” Sighs Magda as she slips off her cycling light up shoes, the tongue of her shoes light up with a balloon showcasing the amount of miles Magda has walked from Monique’s house, nearly fourteen, if only Elroy hadn’t gotten in the way. Inside both of her parents are stationary as always. Wires running from the back of both of their heads so that when they glance over at the door in unison you can see the pulses of light traveling at the same speed from both of their skulls. Magda parents disgust her and she really tries getting up stairs into her room as fast as possible. 

“Magpie! Get your cute little grown ass over here and tell me about this nice young man you’re considering giving up your light to!”

“Journey,” Magda says addressing her mom by her proper name which causes her mom to feign a twinge,”Why must you two always insist on watching the security feed whenever I am coming home. Every. Single. Time. Do you two expect me to be still be living here until either one of you finally burn out? Just so you can always have a little show of someone else’s lives to watch? You’re almost as much as a goon as that ‘boy’ you are referring to. You know him already, that’s Elroy, we’re just friends.”

“See Enterprise? What did I say?” Journey says peering directly into her husband Enterprise’s vacant light producing sockets. 

“Aw dawlin looks like I owe you thirty pulses! I knew I should have betted on our Magpie giving her light away to some respectable enterprising lesbian. You’re donating your light to science right Magpie? That’s why you left today?”

“I am not donating my light to anyone! I am not anyone’s generator ready to be milked and sapped away for all of my worth.”

“Magda you know your light is strong enough that you could be a really successful crime fighter, or you could even be just another lamp builder like your lil brother and sister.” Coos Magda’s father, Enterprise.

“Or, she can be nothing too! Fine by me! Keep on going missy, I can see how much you are burning to get back into your precious room. All I ask is that at some point tonight please help your siblings make some kind of dinner. Your dad and I are going to be all tied up for the rest of the night running double concurrent shifts. Those damn strikers! We don’t need em! Ow ow ugh I’ve got to be quiet and focus.” Journey rubs her temple which emits a spark. 

“Relax my love. This is just a rough patch. Once there is a serum manufactured we’ll be able to import more workers and we can recharge for the next decade. Maybe even more.” Enterprise says this to Journey and they hold each other’s hands not even minding that they are becoming entangled within one another’s connecting wires. Magda hears the quiet scrape scraping of her younger brother and sister’s lamp and neon shop that takes up most of the second floor. Magda ascends up one more floor and reaches her bedroom at the end of a hallway adorned with family portraits. Mainly of her siblings Gidget and Chester selling lamps around the world. See Gidget and Chester in Bali with a lamp made from resurrected coral reefs. There’s a picture of Gidget, Chester and both of her parents soft shoeing on the grave of Thomas Edison. See Gidget defile the Tesla’s tomb. Chester burning an effigy of Musk. There’s one picture of Magda and Sapphire, Magda is only visible as a beam of light. Magda opens up her bedroom and finds Antonia, the Daycrawler waiting for her, suspending herself from the ceiling. Rotating around like a monk’s slimy finger circling around the lip of a singing wine bowl. 

“Hiya there Miss Shiney! I brought you a present!” Antonia says this in her persistently chippier and bubblier voice that has not  subsided since taking her shower with Monique’s personality shifting scented shampoo. Monique raises her right eyelid causing  one of her dimmest overhead lights to come on. The light reveals reveals the sight of a  tied up woman sporting a bouncy pompadour sprawling out across Magda’s bed. Soy Hands Flannigan! 

“What am I supposed to do with an assassin? All I want to do is curl up and shop. God I sound pathetic.” Magda says attempting to hide the  anxiety spiking through the roof of her dome  coursing down to her toes. 

“She knows how you can find Hillary!”

That’s all it took. All Magda needed to hear was her name. The utterance of Magda’s one and only Hillary causes each and every one of Magda’s three hundred and eighty five lights adorning her bedroom to flare out bright beams of all encompassing light. The kind of light that only glows for a woman once thought lost and dead to the world soon to be rediscovered. Maybe, thinks Magda, having a reformed violent and dangerous assassin as a companion wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

[littlestsnicket]

the witcher: the end’s beginning

Whenever I hear the netflix noise, I automatically start singing Look Away. Doesn’t matter that I haven’t actually rewatched ASOUE that many times.

i very much appreciate how they make this first monster fight look difficult (it gives such scale to how dangerous these monsters are when you compare it to Geralt fighting Renfri’s posse later). And Geralt’s not at all human eyes. The spidering poison is super unnerving and feral looking. Great introduction to the character. (per my understanding of the video game, he absolutely ate that deer raw, when he tells Renfri he’s full later, he is FULL OF RAW MEAT.)

so that paper 100% says kikimora on it. important a scene or two later. 

some of the costuming decisions aren’t 100% but I am a big fan of the set design. especially all of the candles. 

i want to squish renfri’s cute little face! (her costuming is also on point, i really love the specific red color of her shirt. Although on further examination, the fit is actually a little strange? Or the pleating doesn’t read right on screen all the time.)

“more and more i find monsters wherever i go.” yup... early introduction of *theme*

“I killed a rat this morning with my breakfast fork.” Got to love Marilka!

“You don’t scary me”/“That’s too bad.”

(Geralt will be a good adopted father to Ciri, he’s good with violent, headstrong teenage girls.)

Marilka lied there, the flier was absolutely for a kikimora. She is very deliberately intercepting him to take Geralt to Stregobor. And Geralt is just like, fuck fine? You do sort of get the impression that people refusing to pay him as contracted is something he deals with ALL THE TIME!

“I think that makes you a hero.” (aww, Marilka!)

Marilka and Geralt are so cute together (I think he likes people who will talk at him)

Geralt’s little smile when she says “girls can’t be witchers that’s the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard”

Gratuitous nudity? Nah, we’re establishing something about Stregabor with this. Also, it’s just sort of there... in the background, like we should barely pay any attention to it. (So, per the timeline, Stregobor has already tried to prevent Yennefer from going to the court she wants for no apparent reason. Stregobor is a bastard.)

“I seem to remember that Witcher’s don’t feel anything”

Aw, Ciri dressed as a boy handing out with some rascals. She’s wearing normal pants here... 

”Gross”, yes Ciri your horny grandparents are gross.

“Wizards are all the same. You talk nonsense while making wize and meaningful faces. Speak plainly.” Geralt is so done with everything. That’s how we meet him. I question the received fan wisdom that Geralt doesn’t talk very much. He’s just surrounded by people who talk A LOT.

How full of shit is Stregobor? It’s very difficult to tell. Does he actually believe his bullshit? What evidence did he actually have of these internal mutations? How did they die so he could autopsy them? Difficult to say. Also, there is something super weird about how Stregabor talks to Geralt, the way he’s moving and the tone of voice he’s using--like he’s trying to get in his head. Is it strictly psychological or is he attempting to do what he accuses Renfri of and manipulate him with magic? Make him kill Renfri?

“Pretty ballads hide bastard truths.” (Rewatching, this makes me think of episode 4, they’ve met Jaskier. I wonder if Jaskier wrote anything about Calanthe — there are so many references throughout the series of the power of song to change perception of the past, which changes the present.)

I can’t unsee how the bodice of Crir’s dress doesn’t lay quite right and the fabric is weirdly modern looking. (Her face when she is doing the kicky part of the dance--she’s so right, what the hell even is that.)

GERALT’S FINDING SHIT TO MAKE A POTION! 

“Queen Calanthe of Cintra, she just won her first battle” — if you are paying attention, the timeline stuff is actually pretty clear, the clues are all there. I was explaining to a friend that i have trouble watching things that are of midrange complexity; i can follow this and i can follow a sitcom, but I often have trouble following things inbetween. 

“Because then I am what they say I am” — Geralt is morally incapable of rehabilitating his own reputation, he’s too concerned he might deserve it

renfri says “no more princess” and then Geralt calls her a princess. He is SO DELIBERATE with words. 

The violence in this battle is something. The visuals are weird; it’s not torture porn, it’s frantic and horrifying. There is this unbelievable level of squelching and bits flying around, but very little blood. And I don’t think i’ve seen a battle sequence that is washed out in that precise way--the overcast sky reflects the sun everywhere until you can hardly see. That’s got to be a horrible circumstance to fight under. 

I hope we see Ciri comfortable enough to be this impetuous again. 

Does Mousesack know Stregobor? Why does he choose to tell Ciri a story where a wizard systematically kills young girls? There’s no real moral relevance or connection to what they are talking about, unless it is the cruel callousness of fate. 

Calanthe is so devastated when Eist dies :(

Ciri looks so scared and like the world is ending, talented actress, she’s wonderful!

Geralt’s giant monologue talking to his horse. Yeah, perceived fan wisdom isn’t quite right. He talks. He’s pretty verbal and good with words. He’s just so very careful around people and cultivating this very specific image.

“She took one look at me, screamed, vomited and then passed out. Yeah I thought the world needed me too.” I bet he is still thinking about Marilka calling him a hero. 

Back in Cintra... the color has shifted so drastically from the glaring white to the orange burning. 

Geralt is THERE, right NOW. escaping from the prison cell Calanthe put him in. DESTINY! But why?!?

The way Mousesack looks at Ciri when she does the magic yelling thing for the first time. He does not look surprised. 

“Find Geralt of Rivia, he is your destiny.” I should have counted how many times the word Destiny is said. I’m sure it’s off the wall. 

Note to self: Mousesack and Calanthe know that Nilfgard is here for Ciri. They say so. Were they too in denial about it to take appropriate action? Cause strategically, if they knew that, nothing they do makes any sense. And they could not have gotten new information since Calanthe went off to battle. 

Cintra doesn’t have a court mage, and hasn’t for ages. Pretty sure Mousesack is a druid, but is it hard to convince Calanthe to let him stay? (should get back to this train of thought in episode 4)

This bit with the soldiers handing out the poison drives home how scary Nilfgard is so much more effectively than seeing them graphically torture people. (Not that what we see of the slaughtering people isn’t graphic enough.)

Calanthe just tipping out the window gets me every time. The soundtracking is great, the way is gets quiet and picks back up again. 

Geralt is so fucking close to Ciri in this moment, but not close enough!

What is Renfi’s intent in sleeping with Geralt? Is it just because she wants to or does she have some ulterior motive? Does she think it will sway him? They both look at eachother so softly though. The way it is done in this weird prophesizing flashback is so strange. 

“You have to choose the lesser evil.”

Geralt goes from resigned fuck to snarling so so fast when it becomes obvious that Renfri’s posse is not going to back down.

“They created me just as they created you, we’re not so different.” — what does she mean by that? Does she mean it philosophically that they have both been badly mistreated by society, or is she implying that her mutations are deliberate. And she was created, like a Witcher. Not a coincidence of being born during an eclipse. If that was the case, Stregobor would know, possibly even have been the one to do it, that creepy fucking bastard. I don’t have easily searchable transcripts handy, but I *think* Geralt mentions something in another episode about how he’s found mutations to be deliberate. Going to keep an eye out for that. I’m proposing that Stregobor was out to create an army of female witchers and it went... badly and he killed them all off. Maybe he was even doing it to replace Tissaia and Aretusa. This could be a *thing*. 

I am 90% sure Geralt just grabbed the blade of the sword. Yup, he’s definitely holding the sword in his off hand by the blade when he kills Renfri. The fuck Geralt? Does that not hurt your hand?

Renfri’s giant eyes when she’s dying. God. 

So Ciri legit causes a giant crevice to form in the earth. WHAT IS SHE CAPABLE OF?!?

The way Stregobor looks at Renfri’s corpse. So upsetting. He doesn’t look at her like a person. Stregobor is definitely using the idea of Renfri’s mutation manipulating people to turn the crowd against Geralt; make him seem more untrustworthy and shut down any attempt for him to defend himself. Protecting Renfri’s corpse from horrible wizard dude is 100% in character for him. 

Shit. Geralt’s resigned but completely devastated face when Marilka tells him to leave and not come back. And she is so soft and quiet about it too, that must make it so much worse. And Marilka looks like she’s about to cry too--she’s lost something: her innocence, her chance to escape, both. What does she really, deep down, think of Geralt here? Will she lie awake at night wondering if she should have said something else? I wonder what becomes of her. What does she think about Stregobor after this? Her face though, she has to know something is wrong here. Does she leave Blaviken? Does she hear tales of Geralt the White Wolf as an adult? What does she think of them?

Close up shot of the pin he took from Renfri.

And then the clear visual cue that Ciri is the girl in the woods. If you just roll with it and assume things will get explained a little better later, this really isn’t confusing. You just need to let go a little.

[levelstory]

Music Reflection I, The Cringe is Real

The other day, my mother made a comment to me that there really is no sense that can bring back memories quite like your sense of smell. I agreed with her, but commented that sound and music may be tied for that ranking. Smell certainly brings me back to certain moments of my life, in ways I can't always explain to myself. But music brings back memories in a different kind of way. Songs are attached to specific thoughts and actions, to who I was at the time of listening. 

I thought it could be fun to revisit some of these songs from the past and talk about my feelings toward them, then and now. I imagine this will be a series of blogs so you can always look forward to more...

No Strings Attached by NSYNC

One of the most loaded questions you could ask a nine year old girl in the '90s was: do you prefer the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? I was a hardcore Backstreet Boys listener. I owned all of their albums (except Millenium which was a damn shame) and listened to them rigorously, practicing for dance recitals next to "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" and making up dance moves to "As Long as You Love Me" and "Get Down." When my brother received the Chapter One album for his birthday, our home videos show my face sink into a pit of jealousy that he got the album instead of me. We even had Backstreet Boy action figures from Burger King which I am sure can be found somewhere in our basement to this very day, as well as a poster that had a button that when pressed would play a clip from "Don't Want You Back." 

I had an intense loyalty toward them, for reasons that are very unclear to me as I never outright disliked NSYNC's music. I heard them enough at the skating rink and at birthday parties. For some reason, all I can remember is disliking their look compared to BSB. Both groups were distinct in this regard, and I very much clung to the group I had spent most of my elementary career listening to on repeat.

One of the cool toys in the late '90s, early 2000s was called HitClips, little cartridges that would play 30 second clips of songs from popular artists like Britney Spears, Hanson, and of course BSB and NSYNC. I remember a girl in my fifth grade class bringing her hit clips in and being nice enough to let me borrow them and bring them home. Of course some of them were NSYNC and I remember replaying "Bye Bye Bye" and "It's Gonna Be Me" over and over, aching to listen to the full tracks. Shortly after returning them, I imagine I got my mom to take me to Target (which was my go to music store at the time) and used my allowance money to purchase the NSYNC album, No Strings Attached.

There are so many memories I attach to listening to this album. I had just gotten my very first desk for my bedroom and I remember my boom box sitting at the back of the desk where I would pop in CD's and cassette tapes. This was also around the time my room was painted from plain white to a soft pink. One of my best friends at the time also owned this album. Her father owned a camper that sat in their driveway, and we would sit inside with her stereo and listen to music while we pretended to be camping far away from our suburban reality.

"No Strings Attached," the titular song in which the album was named, was not always a favorite of mine. At first it was the well known tracks that held my interest before I gave the rest of the album a chance. Songs like "Space Cowboy," "Digital Get Down," and "That's When I'll Stop Loving You" were tracks I came to love later, along with "No Strings Attached." The song is one that so easily gets stuck in my head (along with "Just Got Paid"). Once I hear it, I can't unhear it for some hours and I find myself humming it throughout the day. More than anything, this track in particular seems to be the most nostalgic. Whereas songs like "Bye Bye Bye" and "This I Promise You" I have returned to regularly throughout my life, "No Strings Attached" is one that I love all the more because it isn't one I necessarily return to all that often, and in that way it feels rare and distant, and therefore nostalgic.

Listening to this track with the modern ear does not do it any favors. Sure it sounds good, if not a bit chaotic like much of this album, but the lyrics lean toward the "nice guy" narrative which I am so over in 2019. I appreciate it from a distant, but can't say it has aged particularly well. NSYNC sing to this supposed lady that they want to have a relationship with her, with no preconceived expectations, or no strings attached, unlike the guy she is currently with who doesn't pay her any attention or return her calls. It all feels very '90s...and if I am being honest, returning to the '90s is one of the main reasons I return to these tracks. While I can't give it too much credit, I won't deny that it is a banger to listen to and enjoy. No Strings Attached remains one of my favorite albums from the ‘90s.

Why Not? by Hilary Duff

As a teen, I never really got on the Hilary Duff / Lizzie McGuire train. For reasons that are way too dense and difficult to unpack here, I really disliked the live action Disney "sitcoms" as a kid. Many of my friends watched and enjoyed them, while I hated them. So when the Lizzie McGuire movie came out to theaters, it was the last thing I wanted to see. Yet I did end up seeing it...at least, I feel like I saw it in theaters. I don't remember who convinced me to see it or why I gave in to my dislike, but I did see it. I also remember being at a friends house and she wanted to watch the DVD while I adamantly didn't and it caused a bit of a rift between us for a few hours. We got over it of course, and to go into all of that would be another tangent so I shall move ahead.

My friend who loved the show bought the movie soundtrack and we listened to it constantly. I remember sleeping over her house and making up dances, jumping on the bed, and running around like crazy kids with a ton of energy tend to do. "Why Not?" was my favorite song from the Lizzie McGuire soundtrack. I remember I loved Hilary Duff's voice, and was convinced that my own voice was almost identical to hers. I have a distinct memory of sitting at my bedroom window and singing her music to myself, carefully measuring my voice and making sure I sang just like she would.

This song was heavily marketed upon the release of the Lizzie McGuire movie. The music video was on TV all the time. In many ways it fit very well with the film's core themes - why not take chances? Why not do the thing you are most afraid of? If you don't take the chance, you may never have the opportunity to do so again. The lyrics are a mixed bag. One line that I never grow tired of is, "you always dress in yellow, when you want to dress in gold, instead of listening to your heart, you do just what you're told." It is certainly not a lyric that contains much depth and I assure you it isn't the message of the lyrics that have always captured me, but rather how they bounce and flow and how effortlessly Duff approaches them. It is a portion of the song that I always enjoy. 

The bridge, like most pop songs, is tragically boring. I enjoy Duff's humming (is that the word for what she does immediately after the bridge? What would you even call that?) but then the lyrics move toward the point where the song writers must have been on a time crunch saying, "You'll never get to heaven, or even to LA, if you don't believe there's a way." This lyric caught me off guard recently because I never really thought about it before but I just find it funny that the song talks about going to heaven, something that contains so much religious meaning and cultural significance, and then immediately puts going to LA on the same scale. Like, you'll never escape eternal damnation if you don't take chances, but you might also not make it to LA where you could become famous...yes, those are equally important. Sure I knew the song was generic, but my god it just drops into the absurd and pitiful by the bridge. 

Despite this, I still really enjoy the song. It isn't perfect but it speaks to a particular time of my life and I enjoy the memories associated with it. 

I'm With You by Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne's album "Let Go" was a big deal when it came out. It has a distinct place in my memory, coming out the year I moved into a new house, went to a new school, and started entering my teenage years. This was a time when burning CD's was still considered legal and so I never actually owned the album. My cousins burned the album on a CD for me, and I made a cover in Microsoft Word compiled of the album name made in Word Art and pixelated images of Lavigne scattered about. At the time, I thought my album cover looked really cool. 

"Let Go" was released around the same time Lizzie McGuire was on the rise, but unlike Hilary Duff and the Disney Channel, Lavigne made us 12 year olds feel like we were listening to adult music. Listening to this album felt hardcore at the time. It was low key grunge music, with themes and ideas far more sanitized than we knew.

I can remember a friend I made at my new school and going to her house where we listened to Avril Lavigne, rocking out to "Sk8ter Boi" and playing air guitar along with "Complicated." But "I'm With You" took on a much darker tone than either of these songs, and used a word that was off limits, "damn." There is a home video we have, which I believed I tried to tape over and remove from existence in case of blackmail, where I filmed myself singing the song and every time Lavigne belts, "It's a damn cold night!", I would fall silent at the "damn" and not say anything at all, for fear of being heard by my parents.

I can't say Lavigne's album has aged all too well. It isn't horrible but it is also nowhere near as good as we believed. Full of angst and "edgy" guitar, it definitely remains a product of its time. What is strange is that Lavigne's album is not one I have felt the need to return to much as I have grown older. The strongest memory with the album is listening to it in the car on my portable CD player on the way to North Carolina in the summer. Apart from that, my memory usually paints in broad strokes and just remembers the album being super popular when I was a sixth grader. All of the girls my age loved it, as did I, and my friends performed "Sk8ter Boi" at a lip sync competition. 

"I'm With You" stands out for its slow pace when compared to all of the other tracks. "Losing Grip" is sharp and industrial sounding, "Complicated" is the soft rock track that fits perfectly on the radio, "Sk8ter Boi" is the song to rock out to, and "My World," my personal favorite as a kid, is a fun guitar jam. But "I'm With You" isn't fun. It really showcases Lavigne's vocal range as well as her vulnerability as a songwriter. It builds up slowly and concludes with a strong crescendo of instrumentation. Okay, that might be overstating things just a tad. But there is something about this song that always gets me and I know that is the nostalgia talking. 

Lucky by Britney Spears

I have something to admit...I never owned a Britney Spears album. How can I call myself a real '90s kid if I didn't own a Britney Spears album? It is embarrassing. There were plenty of her songs I loved, but I guess I got by with her song "Sometimes" being on the compilation record, Now 3, which I listened to quite frequently. 

When "Lucky" was released, I really loved it. It was one of those songs that I loved so desperately that I am surprised I never got around to asking my parents for the album it was on. Luckily, a friend of mine owned said album and brought it over for my 10th birthday party. I imagine we listened to the album a lot that night, but all I can really remember is me dancing to "Lucky" on my screen porch while my friends watched, giggling. In fact, we have video evidence of this and it doesn't embarrass me...well, it embarrasses me a little. The video is somewhat cringy in that I am not a good dancer, but I make up for it with silliness for sure. 

"Lucky" tells the story of a celebrity who isn't happy. It comes off as very Marilynne Monroe; you expect this person to have it all but actually they don't and it makes them very sad. It isn't a very complicated song (though I guess none of the songs I am writing about are complicated). The storytelling is straightforward and easy to grasp. 

It is expected for listeners to wonder if the song is autobiographical and if Britney really was unhappy in her current predicament. Hindsight certainly reveals that this was most likely the case in some regard. Seeing where she is now and where her career has gone doesn't bode well for this song which makes me much more sympathetic toward her as a human being. If this was the case, listening to the track makes you sad. Still, if you can look past the blatant message, it is a track that remains catchy though I don't find I love it as much as an adult. The song just doesn't sound as catchy anymore, and it only makes me feel sad for Spears. 

All for Love by Stevie Brock

This track is easily the most obscure of the bunch. Stevie Brock never acquired the same celebrity as the other artists on this list. However, he did enjoy a few good years of teenie bopper fame and air time on Radio Disney. He was one of the many Aaron Carter wannabes that arrived on the music scene. This isn't to say he didn't have talent. His still immature voice was catchy enough and he was clearly a great performer. But like many child artists, his record was generic and…well, bad. Very bad. 

One huge trend of the '90s and early 2000s was this weird thing where young boys on the verge of becoming teens would sing songs about getting the girl and dating and complex romantic topics that made little sense to a teenager. The result is that the songs are super hetero-normative and a bit creepy. I am sitting in the car, reliving my childhood memories by listening to this song, and I can't help but think, "is it weird that I, a 29 year old woman, am listening to a 13 year old, whose voice still hasn't matured, sing about his 'romantic troubles' with a girl in his class who clearly doesn't want to date him but he wants it so it is okay that he keeps pursuing her?". Yes, it is a little weird. 

What is really weird to me is that I remember this song as if it came out way before it actually did. The album didn't properly release until summer of 2003 and I seem to recall listening the year previous. This could be because when I bought the album I was 12 going on 13 and thus I associate it more with being 12 than a 13 year old middle-schooler. But it would make sense. After all, the whole reason I even heard of Stevie Brock was because when on vacation in 2003 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, my family ate at the Hard Rock Cafe and on the big screen where they played music videos, Brock's cover of "All for Love" came on the screen. I've always been the type of person who loves music so when I hear a song I enjoy, I have to write it down so that I can listen to it when I would get home. These days we have apps that allow us to listen to songs and tell us what they are called. But back then when music wasn't as readily available and I was a child who didn't really have enough money to buy things at the ready, this act was more of a scavenger hunt than anything else. Would I be able to find this guy's album when I got home? What if it wasn't at Target? What would I do then? 

Fortunately, Brock captured a strong, if not temporary, following and his album was on store shelves. "All for Love" is a fine song, mostly due to it being a cover from another band. As already addressed, the lyrics feel very odd coming from someone so young. He addresses the girl he is singing to as "sugar" which just makes me skin curl. It is creepy that the music industry breeds young boys to sing about these things so early. This was easily my favorite song from the album. My strongest memories of the song, besides first hearing it at the Hard Rock Cafe, are listening to it and the entire album at my friends house. We had a fun tradition of bringing her boombox outside and dancing around the front lawn. I remember her birthday party and us tween girls dancing through the summer air, our bare feet wet from the moist grass. I'm sure the neighbors had fun watching us act like total maniacs. 

Revisiting these songs was fun, but I know there are more I want to talk about in the future! Stay tuned! What are some songs you listened to as a kid that make you feel super nostalgic today? Let me know in the comments!