#that someone not only just said they will fuck a bitch up but actively asked me what's too much and stuff

[interstellarbookofflowers]

happy points bc i cant sleep cuz sensory discomfort (my senses are screaming)

hung out with friend on tuesday! we went for a long walk, got two ice creams and matching froggy bubble blowers. they wore the froggy ring too 🥺

they always send me these little fun video reports of what theyre doing and its so fun to watch

we're going to the gym tomorrow and im rlly excited cuz i havent been in ages!

theres no better feeling than knowing sb cares abt you so much they would hurt someone for you

[cutebat]

You know what, fuck it. I'm going to write my own neglectful yandere batfamily cause everyone else is doing it, but I'm going to do it in a different way.

Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader

Prologue (Diary Entry)

Warning(s): Mentions of yandere themes, neglect, emotional abuse, mentions of physical abuse, forcing to drop out, attempted guilt tripping, reader is just venting out her feelings

(I made this in the reader's POV to make the whole 'diary entry' thing more sense.)

~~~~~

July 22, 2024

It's funny when someone tells their story.

Only to be told back that it's unrealistic.

Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real...

Oh, God, that sounded dark.

~~~~~

For everyone who doesn't know,

Bruce is a billionaire who's also a shitty dad

Dick is a dick, like actually

Jason uses his trauma to let all his frustrations on me

Tim is a delusional bitch

Cass was okay until she knocked me to the ground

Damian is just a thing who you want to burn to ashes

Alfred... I guess is just Alfred

~~~~~

I was basically raised as what people would call a 'black sheep'. Kind of like... actually, I don't need to explain all that.

Basically, I was adopted by the infamous Bruce Wayne when I was ten for whatever reason. After the first day of living with him and the family and giving me the new role of Batgirl, everyone just pretended as if I didn't exist.

I tried to interact with every one of them and all I got were "sorry, can't talk right now" and "can you shut up".

Like, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM?!

Is it because I'm prettier than all of them and had barely any trauma in my past? Seriously, why are people so jealous about these kinds of things?

Bruce really signed all that paperwork for nothing.

Of course, my little ten year old brain would think that if I tried to impress all of them with what I could do, maybe I could gain their attention.

So by the time I was twelve with my ten year old mindset goal in my head, I did nine different after school activities, won over fifteen awards for my achievements, and went out to patrol at least six nights a week.

And none of that worked! Those fuckers wouldn't even spare me a glance!

~~~~~

After a while, you don't see a point in trying your best.

I dropped out of most of the clubs I regret joining, I just laid back in my classes, and most of all...

I quit being Batgirl.

I didn't want to, but like I said, where's the point in that?

So with that, I just gave up on everything and just... stopped trying.

~~~~~

But then one year all of that almost changed?

For the first time ever, I found myself suddenly really pretty, and after a month I entered eighth grade, I was suddenly asked out by one guy, then two, and all the way up to ten!

It was like really cool!

The popular girls became my best friends, more guys would ask me out, and the teachers started pointing out that I was their favorite student, even the ones who weren't my teachers.

It felt like I was on top of everything. That I was special. The world is revolving around me.

Finally, I was in a place to build a great reputation.

And then life was like FUCK THAT!

~~~~~

After the first semester of eighth grade, Bruce was weirdly in my room and he said wanted to have a 'talk' with me.

So, during this talk, he was basically talking about the last three years of me being neglected by him and his family. To be honest, I forgot everything he told me, but honestly, I don't really care.

He also told the others about all this and now they suddenly feel bad which I don't give a shit about. But, I knew he was doing all this to guilt trip me, which was honestly so stupid.

Now, after he dropped that bomb, he told me that I had to drop out of school to do some "bonding time" with the others along with him and the people who actually cared about me didn't really matter at all!

I JUST GOT SETTLED IN!

All I said was "FUCK YOU" and just stormed out of my room with the only thing that I took was my diary that I had for quite a while that I never used before.

~~~~~

So, yeah. I'm currently in the attic, venting my feelings all out on this stupid glitter diary with a random pen that I found on the ground.

But whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters...

My life is just a game.

A sick, hopeless game.

[angelsheartts]

✩‧₊˚ I HOPE NOBODY CATCH US !! .

(but i kinda hope they catch us, anyway)

#pairing : lucifer, adam, alastor, vox x gn reader

#cw: suggestive content, +18 mdni, cuss words lmao, getting caught in suggestive situations ig?? tentacles on alastors part my bad, vox likes to get caught.

#notes: guys please feel free to ask requests, i’m getting out of ideas and i don't know what you all wanna read on my blog help.

PART ll

˖ ˚ ༘✶ LUCIFER .

you both were having a pretty steamy make-out session in your hotel room at the hazbin hotel, clearly not the best idea since everyone was still at the hotel, and HELL does lucifer gets loud.

"ah-, my love, " he whines loudly, pressing his forked tongue deep inside you. feeling him humping against your bedsheets as you wrap your legs around his neck, you knew he was close. "lucifer, you make me feel so gooood~" you moaned, grabbing his horns as you felt like your orgasm was soon to come.

well, nobody warned you how SENSITIVE this man was when someone touched his horns; his wings literally popped out in a second. "fuck, fuck, i’m so close (name); can i cum, honey ? please i-"

a door opened, making lucifer wrap his wings around you both. "(name), i heard some noises. is everything alri-" well, this was akward. "IMSOSORRYISHOULDHAVEKNOCKED" she said, embarrased, closing the door, leaving you and lucifer with a flushed red since you both literally got caught, by HIS daughter WHILE having an orgasm.

after that 'accident' charlie started knocking every time she entered your dorm, and apologised to you many times.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ ADAM .

adam can be very tiring sometimes when keeping his hands to himself, he would literally fuck you anywhere so everyone could see who makes you feel so fucking good if you would just let him, but of course you wouldn’t allow something like that.

except for today, you and adam had a meeting with the other angels so you wouldn’t have guessed that your husband had already been planning on how to convince you to do not-so-holy-things to skip the meeting.

until, you started noticing how touchy he was getting with you, at the beginning it was a playfully kiss on your neck then a slap in you ass and somehow you ended up giving him a blowjob.

"you’re so hot when you shut the fuck up" he said, smirking while gripping your hair tightly to make you go deeper. "fucking bitch, sucking it while having you on your knees, as you fucking should 'cause im the original dick, babe!" letting him talk to you like that reeallyy turned him on, just the thought of you being so obedient to him makes him want to cum.

"what the fuck" a voice made you both turn, noticing a lute with a very disgusted look in her face cursing at you both for being so reckless.

sadly this wasn’t the first time lute walked in on you both, so she just left LMAO.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ ALASTOR .

alastor tries to have the least amount of physical contact during such activities, so it wasn’t a rare occasion for you to finger yourself, while listening to his voice telling you what to do.

you didn’t really know if it was because you were bored, or you were just horny, but you had the urge to have some intimacy with alastor. he didn’t mind because it had been a long time since you both had some intimacy.

"you have been such a good partner, my dear” he praised, smirking widely like he always did. "I think it would only be fair if i give you something in return."

well, that was 15 minutes ago, and now here you were feeling his tentacles thrusting into you so roughly. alastor would only chuckle at your expressions while ocassionaly telling you to touch yourself as he wanted. seeing you trying to get some release made his bulge twitch inside his pants.

well, at least it made it twitch until someone interrupted you both, making your partner disappear the tentacles who were just inside you a few seconds ago.

angel dust was the one who accidentaly walked in on you both, and alastor told him if he ever talked or made jokes about what happened he would transmite his screams on his radio broadcoast. angel dust still teases you though.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ VOX .

vox actually wants you both to get caught, like he really has no shame at all. he loves fucking you if it means that you both might get caught in the act.

sadly, you can’t even recall how you ended up with him having you bend over his desk right before a meeting with the VEES.

surely, you both could have stopped if you wanted, but why would you even consider that when he’s literally vibrating just in the right spot, making you fuzzy from the overstimulation.

"fuck, yeah" your boyfriend's voice is shaky as he keeps thrusting in you, seeing how his cum rolls down your thighs, makes him increase his pace. "you really want us to get caught, don’t you, babe? squeezing me around as if i would even think about fucking pulling it out" he says chuckling with a slight glitch on his voice. "ah- vox, it’s too much i-" vox slapped your ass, making you yelp from pleasure as you were feeling so overwhelmed.

both of you being so close to your orgasm, didn’t noticed when velvette and valentino entered the room until velvette shouted at you both for fucking like animals, and not waiting until being in a more private place, alongside her was just a valentino smirking, while being dragged by velvette. valentino would have been glad to accept the offer if you would have invited him though.

[popponn]

from the outsider's view. [itoshi sae x reader]

notes: admittedly, no braincell here only "sae unconditionally lovey dovey" thought (ft. kaiser). i miss sae. and i want him to be happy for a bit. this guy seems like when he is committed he will become the commitment itself despite everything. cute in the way the sort of type who will put in the effort and worth the effort when he is the right person. also, happy cny ❤ warnings: cursings (it's kaiser). fluff. kaiser's pov aka outsider's pov, sae & you being lovey dovey, established relationship, reader's gender unspecified, post canon au, heavy hc that sae & kaiser doesn't get along (outside of the field esp). please don't look to closely into this. @doobea thank u for betaing beloved ♡❀

By any means, it is not as if Kaiser actively tries to murder Sae every time they meet.

But it also doesn’t mean he is buddy-buddy with him either. Honestly, Kaiser hates a lot of people’s guts—Yoichi and Noa currently contending for the #1 spot, sure, but Sae is pretty close up there if he has to list them down. The reason is not particularly complicated for this one, as anyone who has met Sae would agree he is a natural at making enemies. That mid-fielder is one of those people who will do better as a human being if they shut up and not pick up a fight with each breath they take.

So, imagine his surprise to meet the redhead—with you by his side, hand in hand—during a casual outing for some convenience store snack in broad daylight.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Kaiser doesn’t waste a second to ask the moment their eyes meet each other. Kaiser really doesn’t want to have a jerk greeting him the moment he tries to get into an aisle yet here he is.

Sae squints at him in a more offensive manner than usual and then subtly—but very obvious to Kaiser’s eye—pushes you slightly behind his back as if Kaiser might do something to you. Which is wrong—even if Kaiser is very aware he is not the shining beacon of goodness. “Shopping, clearly. What else?”

“Someone you know, Sae?” your voice asks from behind your assumed-boyfriend. Kaiser glances slightly at the blatantly color-coordinated casual clothes. Disgusting. Definitely a boyfriend then. “Oh! Is that Michael Kaiser?”

Kaiser raises an eyebrow as he meets your gleaming eyes. He certainly didn’t expect Itoshi Fucking Sae’s partner to acknowledge him with such enthusiasm. He expected someone who is more or less as bitchy as bitchy as the guy. A smile that has been trained for PR events forms itself on Kaiser’s face, “Why, hello—”

“It’s not,” Sae quickly cuts in. “Just some bugs. Let’s just get the drink and go.”

Fucking Sae.

“Now, now,” Kaiser sneers, his grin widening into an irritated smirk as he approaches closer towards Sae. Said dickhead responds by tugging you closer to him. Sae better be one of those types of unreasonably cutesy protective boyfriends or Kaiser might actually start taking offenses and maim him for real. “Is that a way to greet ‘a friend’, Sae? And—” Kaiser moves on to you, “—hello there.”

The quotation mark hangs heavily in the air. Sae scoffs while you finally get the chance to address Kaiser’s existence politely and introduce yourself, “Hello! Nice to meet you!”

How the fuck did someone who knows basic manners end up with Sae? Kaiser genuinely wants to know if you got paid for this or something. He will ask if it’s not for the fact Sae seems to be itching to claw the hell out of his face. Kaiser really doesn’t want to get lectured for a public incident if he actually gives in to the urge to sock Sae’s resting bitch face. So, instead, he keeps his focus on you even while keeping his sentence directed to you both, “I didn’t expect to see you here. Thought Sae is allergic to store-bought products.”

You laugh at that, whilst Sae sends you a sharp glare—that has a hint of besotted lovesick gaze in it what the fuck—that you promptly ignore in favor of answering Kaiser instead. “Yeah, he is a bit nosy sometimes, huh?” you muse fondly, “But he is open to some products, thankfully.”

Sae pipes in, “Hey.”

“Come on, it’s true,” you reply shortly. As your eyes meet Sae, the besotted lovesick gaze returns, this time reciprocated by your equally lovelorn affectionate one. Kaiser really doesn’t want to see this.

“Hmph,” Sae breathes out like some grumpy mangy cat. Then, as if he truly is some kitty raising up its fur and tail, Sae returns his glare to Kaiser. The way one of Sae’s hand wrap around your shoulder to press you close doesn’t escape Kaiser’s eyes. And the most annoying thing is perhaps the way that it evidently isn’t like Sae deliberately shows it to him like some territorial jealous dickhead. It’s like watching someone taking in a breath and that breath is some lovey-dovey fuckery. “We are going. Let’s go.”

As much as Kaiser wants to make Sae suffer a little bit more via playfully flirting with you or something, being a third wheel to the elder Itoshi sounds so awful it’s not even worth trying. Next time the two Itoshis duke it out by being on the opposite team, Kaiser genuinely considers rooting for the younger one just so he can see Sae fail. And also out of some twisted camaraderie because imagining being a witness to this frequently—one really either builds up some immunity or turns insane.

The sort of guy who casually must touch his lover all the time is unbearable to watch.

So, good fucking riddance.

“Shoo,” Kaiser waves Sae away. And the way you look at Sae like the redhead is the most wonderful man alive lowers Kaiser’s opinion of you enough for that wave to be directed at you too. Get a better taste.

You laugh nervously at their brief exchange as Sae drags you away. Kaiser too shifts his attention away from you. Unfortunately, turns out—fuck him—it isn’t enough to escape the barely audible whispers Sae shares with you as the two of you walk away from the aisle.

“You should be nicer. He is still someone you know.”

“He touched Isagi’s chin on their first meeting to fuck around—I’m not taking chances with that shithole.”

“Aw. I don’t think he will—he seems very aware I’m with you.”

“That guy is insane and it’s better to be ready to kick his dick when you have to. Don’t be too friendly with him next time.”

God. Kaiser wishes for a match with Sae soon just so he can duke it out with him without any repercussions.

[hiyashortking]

You Catch Lucifer Masturbating

Disclaimers and credit: read this post before reading any of my content, please.

Premise: Inspired by @venomhound's prompt list found here for the prompt: you catch them masturbating. My tenses are all fucked up in this one and I've chosen not to edit it to make sure it all matches ✌️.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He’d forgotten that he asked you to stop by when you had a moment this week to drop off some bullshit he didn’t actually care about. He was just looking for an excuse to see you again, especially against the backdrop of his room. But depression and trauma do some fucked up shit to one’s brain because he forgot this scheme and left his door unlocked, and you came wandering in when he had his cock in his hand and your panties on his face.

How did he get your panties? A story for another time …

On the bright side, he temporarily cured himself of his desperate want to be around you. If someone had told him last month that he’d be actively avoiding you and would actually go back to his old place to get away from you, he would have put money on it. Unless it was Husk, of course. He was bordering on being obsessed with you, so desperate for just a glance at your face most days. And now? Hiding in shame.

The King of Hell, hiding from a simple little undead. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so pathetic.

You knocked on his door.

Like the true diva he was, he was in his bed eating ice cream and chocolates, surrounded by the fluffiest of his duckies. The only thing he’d managed to get out of bed for every day was his long, hot as fuck shower, during which he would not allow himself to stroke his cock. Punishment was something Lucifer had been taught well, and now he was enacting it on himself.

You knocked again.

He cleared his throat. A “who is it” came out with a squeak, which made him clear his throat and ask again in a tone with more authority.

“Hey, it’s me. I will never not knock again, I promise.”

How could you even joke about this?

W-wait, it was YOU at the door?

He jumped out of bed and fumbled around, trying to make his room look cleaner. He opened the window for fresh air, but the air of hell wasn’t fresh at all so he’d closed it again.

“I hope it’s okay, Charlie let me into the palace."

“Y-yes, of course. I’ll be right there. Is-is Charlie with you?” Where were his clothes? He wore the same fucking outfit every day for millennia, one would think it would be easy to get quickly dressed. The closet! Of course, that’s where clothes would be!

“She and Vaggie are downstairs. I didn’t tell her what happened but she got worried when she called you and you didn’t pick up. She said you’d done that in the past but that you’d been really attentive to her lately so she wanted to make sure you were okay …”

Running a hand through his hair, he opened the door and leaned with the other hand on the doorframe, trying to obscure your vision of his bedroom. He looked as gorgeous as always. Since you hadn’t seen him in a while, his smile seemed even prettier today. His hair looked so soft, you wanted to reach out and run your own fingers through it. He smelled amazing. Why hadn’t you ever realized how form-fitting his clothes were? You felt as if you were seeing him for the first time.

“Hey, bitch,” he says, and immediately regrets it. But his smile only falters for a second.

You chuckle. He always makes you smile and laugh like a fool. “Well, you seem to be doing just fine! I don’t know why Charlie and I were so worried!”

He imitates your chuckle and tries to push away memories of why he is avoiding you. But wait- shouldn’t he be apologizing? His smile disappears when his thoughts race of what you must have thought and how he probably made you feel and-

“Y/N, I am so, so, so, sososososo sorry,” he lets out, almost as if his body deflates with each sound. His tail is out and literally between his legs.

“It’s o-”

He steps toward you abruptly and closes his door behind him. “Let’s sit down,” he takes your hand absent-mindedly as he focuses on which room to bring you into. Not his office. Not the librar- maybe the library? Didn’t you love reading? Maybe he could distract you with all the books!

He only realizes he is holding your hand when you’re at the center of one of his smallest, coziest libraries. “Oh fuck, oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize-”

“Lucifer, stop!” You plead.

He takes a deep, sharp inhale, his face awake with surprise, holds the breath, and releases it slowly, tilting his head up and relaxing his shoulders as he does.

“Thank you,” you say in unison, and then grin like the fools you both are.

“Please sit down,” he says as he does the same on the sofa across from yours. “May I get you something to drink?”

You noticed there were servants downstairs who were catering to the princess and her partner but who did not follow you up to the second floor.

“I’m just happy to see you, I’ve been struggling to think about anything else since you left.”

You’d been thinking about him since he left? He’d been gone for weeks!

“I’m so sorry to have worried you. As you can see, I am fine and dandy. Well- not entirely dandy, I’m obviously very much attracted to all the genders- I mean-”

Fuck, you missed him. One second the picture of elegance, and the next tripping over his words. When you caught him stroking his cock, with your used underwear on his face, you let yourself lean into all of the thoughts you hadn’t allowed when you assumed it would be impossible to be on his radar. And then he had the audacity to disappear, leaving you alone with just your fantasies.

Though you called him several times, you did doubt the situation you had seen. He was the King of Hell! Why would he be interested in you, all of being in hell? Maybe he just had a panty fetish and it didn’t mean anything that they were yours. Did this feel personal because it was, or because you desperately wanted it to be?

Wait, what was he saying?

“I’m so sorry to have worried you. As you can see, I am fine and dandy. Well- not entirely dandy, I’m obviously very much attracted to all the genders- I mean- wait- is dandy still an insinuation of being gay? Was it ever? Anyway, I’m not fully gay! Obviously! I mean-”

He was so fucking cute. You could listen to him ramble all day. “I honestly didn’t think you were going to see me, so I didn’t think about what I would say if you did. I’m just really happy to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t think this through more. I just want to be in the same room as you again.”

It wasn’t difficult to stun this man into a moment of silence, but the silence rarely lasted. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, I wanted to give you some space. I am obviously deeply apologetic for my behavior.” 

Was he struggling to look at you? Is the most powerful man in all of hell blushing and avoiding your eyes? Fuck, why was this turning you on?

“Please tell me if there is anything, anything in all of Hell I can do to gain your forgiveness. I will, of course, entirely understand if it would be impossible for you to forgive me, but I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t at least ask.”

“Luci, may we be blunt?”

He nodded.

“What exactly do you want me to forgive you for?”

What? What exactly? For being a creepy, rude, disrespectful, vile, impish-

“I think I want some clarity about why you think I’m upset with you,” you added.

“Well, you- … I- ... wasn’t what I did bad?”

“Bad?”

He hated how the thoughts I’ve been a bad boy intruded into his mind, but here he fucking was again, with his fucking trauma getting in the way of a new relationship, not to mention how fucking cliche. Wait- a possible relationship? You were here, seeking him out, confessing to thinking about him, not being mad at him for crossing boundaries, maybe not even wanting those boundaries to begin with? Was he letting some fucked up negative core belief about being "bad", whatever the fuck that meant, ruin something he could have with you?

“Oh, Luci,” you rose from your spot and kneeled in front of him as you would if you wanted to help a child feel less intimidated. “Can we just forget this happened? Maybe not all of it, because it led me to assuming I might have a chance with you. So, I guess, let’s maybe just keep the part where you might be attracted to me, and forget any other misconceptions?”

“A chance with me?”

You nodded and waited patiently for him to process.

“You would want a chance with me?”

You nod again, smiling. Waiting.

How had he only then realized you were on your knees in front of him?

He slid from the couch to join you on the floor, and scooped you up with ease to settle you sideways in his lap. He couldn’t think of you on your knees just then.

He felt welcomed by you, but realized that wasn’t consent. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Yes, Luci, you can touch me anytime you like and you can touch any part of me you’d like to touch. I love, love, love being touched,” you emphasized. "Is it okay if I touch you, too?" you asked him.

Baffled, he nodded. "Yes. My word! Yes, enthusiastically! Yes, please!"

Did this grown ass man just quiver?

Oh shit, were you feeling him getting hard?

You seemed to share a brain cell in that moment because he apologized again, his arms loosely around you. “I haven’t- … done what you’d seen me doing- … since that day, so my body is-”

Whenever he got shy and apologetic, you wanted to respond with nurturing, but this time a second feeling won over and you laughed and hid your face in his neck.

“Lucifer Morningstar, you were so upset that I might think the King of Hell is immoral that you haven’t come in weeks?” The ridiculousness was too much to bear. Fuck, and he smelled amazing. You let yourself nuzzle into him, enjoying the feeling of his flesh. Did he have flesh? What were y’all made of down here? You rubbed your nose gently against his neck, enjoying how even the slightest touch connected you.

“That is correct,” was almost the truth, as he did not take responsibility for the things his body did while he was sleeping.

He let himself lean against the sofa a bit, enjoying you snuggling against him. He closed his eyes and tried his best to relax. Breathe in, hold, breathe out. Breathe in-

“You amusing, wonderful little fool,” you whispered, and when you did your lips brushed against his neck, and you were certain then that he had shivered.

You were not making it easy for him to settle down. You often wondered how he managed to go from tense to relaxed and then back to tense so easily. And these were his reactions when you were on your best behavior. How would he respond if you intentionally teased him? Shhh, brain, not now, you pleaded with yourself.

“Not everything about me is little,” he said back with some confidence.

“I know, remember?” You move your head to see his face. Fuck, you weren’t supposed to bully him! The man was vulnerable! Could you just chill for today?!

“Ugh!” he groaned. Had he been blushing before that remark, or was it only just now?

Seeing your smile helped ease him again and he wondered aloud, “maybe I need to walk in on you touching yourself thinking about me, so we can be even?”

“That would be challenging since I don’t really masturbate.”

“You don’t mas- what?”

“I prefer fucking.”

“You prefer fucking?”

“Yes, or being pleasured by someone else. I must just not be good at it or something, I’m not a big fan of solo play.”

“You’re not-”

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?” You chuckle, realizing you’d been obliviously playing with his hair. You had the fingers of one hand at the back of his head, tugging gently and releasing, while the other battled with his hair's softness in the front, refusing to stay put where you'd wanted it to be.

“I might just, until something you say doesn’t wildly surprise me.”

You take pride in being able to surprise someone who came into existence at the beginning of time.

You’re also glad he positioned you this way in his lap, so you could more easily hide how wet this exchange was making you. What the fuck was your kink, powerful men being vulnerable? You couldn’t have just been into feet or something? Great, now there was an image of Lucifer kissing your feet in your brain. In boots. That he bought for you. With his endless hell currency. Fuck.

“I guess I’ll have to abstain a little longer," he mused. "Because now all I want is to turn you on so much that you can’t stop touching yourself.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[queenofallimagines]

Oooh I have a Obey Me writing idea for you but you can ignore if you don’t wanna do it. So when you first come to the Devildom, almost all of the brothers are cold/petty asf to the MC (in my Pisces opinion). Imagine MC’s like “fuck that” and doesn’t try to pander to them as much as the game script wants you to. Like the story still progresses bc the MC is still nosy when it counts, but she doesn’t center them around her world and instead gets closer someone who was nicer/more helpful in the beginning (say like Solomon or Simeon). I’m sorryyy I’m not hating on the brothers but realistically you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Like yeah being a tsundere is cute to an extent but most of em were doing too much in the beginning. Maybe a reaction from the brothers (doesn’t have to be specific for each brother) as they slowly start to warm up to MC but they can’t stand that they’re not gonna be as close as they wanted to be. And either Solomon or Simeon (or both) reacting to you getting closer to them ;) Again this request may be highly specific so you can either tweak it or toss it if it doesn’t sound appealing to write. It can be SFW or NSFW. I love your writing!

A/n: YOURE SO RIGHT BESTIE!! Like the dick ain’t good enough for them to be all over MC like that CRAZY disrespectful 😒 like in my head I was being fake nice to them to secure the pacts until like you make one with Satan and then it’s like okay, maybe I can be genuine w yall. Bc like I’m making friends w any of the billions of other demons there like Diavolo is all but head over heels for you.

MC:

- I’m so on board with this

- Like if they want to go low I can take it right to hell

- They want to throw UP

- Mammon thinks you’re joking but when you fr never come ask him for help he’s crying himself to sleep

- Asmo hates being ignored so after that time in the maze(catacombs? wtf was those) he’s antsy that you don’t really talk to him

- They feel you having fun through your pacts but when you’re around just them it’s like nothing

- Like when a lightbulb dies

- Student council meetings become increasingly more tense as they watch you get along with Solomon and Luke and Simeon and you’re cold to them

- They don’t even really realize they the problem at first

- Lucifer always itching to punish someone so when he snaps at you and you clapback and the issue never comes up again he’s a little disappointed

- Like him and Satan make fun of your grades?

- Bet. you’re being tutored by Solomon and a demon in your potions class

- Like bitch how the FUCK were we ever supposed to take demon philosophy before?? We just got here!!

- Refuse to work with them on any school activities

- You and mammon partnered up to decorate for some school event?

- You work only when he’s not around

- Beel is the one who sounds the alarm by realizing it’s hard to keep track of you

- Like he’ll go asking where you are and nobody can even say when the last time they saw you was

- Belphagor tried to pull that “I’m a human” shit and you didn’t visit the attic for like three weeks😭

- Had to actually force himself to be genuinely nice

- Remember how they said they sent a demon to like the human realm to pretty much do the same thing? who was that because I don’t think we ever hear about them😭

- But you get their number and talk about your shared experiences

- Fish out of water if you will!

- Lucifer WANTS to yell but you do the bare minimum of what they ask he can’t mandate you to join family movie night😔

- Asks a pouting mammon where tf you are and he lists off like any number of random demons you could be chilling with

- Asmo is burning with envy as he catches you at a party with a group of old acquaintinces

- Can see they are so obviously enjoying your company

- Tries to steal the attention for himself

- Levi seeing you on other mfs socials cosplaying w them and doing a TSL marathon like he’s right there??

- Dinner be so awkward but you brush it off like a G

- only texts the family group chat for confirmation, dinners ready, and when is lord diavolo asking for everyone

- Lucifer comes to Dia’s house bc paperwork and he plans to spill the tea when he sees you and him already HAVING TEA🤨

- Like excuse me??

- “Ah just who I was looking for-“

- “Sorry Lucifer I have exams to study for I was just asking Lord Diavolo some history questions I’ll be on my way.”

- He’s literally WILTING💀

- Whines to Dia and he’s like I’m sorry ?? have yall not been spending time with them??

- “Yall….LIVE together. I ain’t out just you and them in the same house for no reason??”

- He can’t eleven rly do shit bc you’re integrating into demon society very well and are pretty sociable

- Like you gain regular popularity but not through them

- Rest of RAD forgets you’re under their protection tbh

- Like you’re your own entity and not at all attached to them so when a random demon is caught talking about like chilling w you and mammon is like IM THEIR FIRST MAN YOU GOTTA AS ME

- he looses about 500 years when the demon goes

- “Oh yeah you are their hired help huh?”

- Yeah he’s picking out a coffin

- Bc he rly tries to curb his tsun behaviors but he hasn’t made it to that level with you where he can be genuine in private

- Levi too like he calls you a stupid normie on reflex and is whimpering when he sees he’s been blocked on devilgram

- What did yall expect??

- Beel is the ONLY one who you regularly talk to

- And even then he’s got his own stuff going on

- But you guys always eat together

- Jaws dropping when he offered you food

- I imagine Beel is like “oh they don’t be talking to yall?….That’s crazy”

- Precious boy so unaware of the conflict

- Nor bc he’s dumb but he’s like “tf that got to do with me?? MC likes me.”

- Very “okay what does that mean to me tho” energy

- I imagine after the Levi pact arc when mammon is wrapping your sprained wrist and he’s all

- “If I can’t come save ya next time, Die.”

- You pull away completely

- Even Satan is having to control himself be he sees your purposefully avoiding him

- He would congratulate you on how well you’re dodging his advances if it didn’t piss him off so bad

- Keeps it a little secret to himself that he can feel your pact mark burning right under his skin whenever you talk to them

- Played hot and cold to see how he can make you less mad when he interacts with you

- Lucifer is so desperate he’s fr about to make a pact early to feel any sort of proof you exist

- Idk if peacocks do it but you know how birds will rip out their own feathers under stress?

- Yeah That’s HIM😭

- Barbados just sit back and observe

- Even the season 3(?) characters come in early! Like you meet 13 as an extension of Solomon and y’all are thick as thieves

- You’re flourishing in your Magic practices bc you still have their pacts, them helping you with magic or not you’re still not one to be fucked with

- Mephistopheles is so giddy that you’re close to him and not Lucifer

- Offers to hide you in his news room to avoid them

- “It’s so quiet a perfect place to study!”

- Sees them scrambling to get ahold of you but your in his office w your phone on silent

- “Oh hmmm, idk I saw them in the forbidden section of the library maybe check there? Weird y’all supposed to be watching them and have no clue about their whereabouts.”

- Lucifer can take it NO LONGER when we’re about right before lesson 16 and he’s making a scene at dinner

- “Why do you never stay in this house? You a mere human think you’re too good to talk?”

- “That. That shit right there is why I don’t talk to any of you. Do you not notice how rude you are?”

- Before Satan can even say his “we’re demons” line you’re cutting his ass off

- “Why would I want to spend time around people who threaten my life for fun?🤨my job is to heal demon human relations and I’m doing that just not with the help of YOU.”

- Dips to purgatory hall bc it’s not Solomon’s night to cook

- They all just kinda 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍for a few days bc wtf can they say to that??

- Like you’re absolutely right

- You were already humbling Lucifer before but now he has this irrational anger towards you

- But in a nice way??

- He’s like packing your lunch and throwing away whatever you had

- Pushing you out the way to do whatever chore or task you’re doing

- Makes your favorite foods when is his turn to cook dinner

- Like he’s completely unhinged

- To stir the pot let’s say this is lesson 16 and they show up to all that

- Can you imagine??

- Their filled with even more regret than before!! They never got a chance to establish a deep bond with you

- Not really. Not like you have with everyone else

- And now you’re gone??

- They barely even care about the Lilith reveal like😭

- They do everything they can to win your favor but it’s like the end of the program now who’s to say it was enough??

- Beel is elated while the othered are broken that you and belphie become close

- Poor belphie is exhausted w all this drama so to make amends even more he goes out of his way to heal the gaps between you and the others so it’s all good now

- Not Lucifer tho

- He’s still moping

- Can’t hurt his pride by saying how glad he is that your back

- Can’t tell you how he watched his world fall apart when he saw the light leave your eyes

- DEFINITELY can’t tell you how he prayed to Lilith that he would protect you from now on and that he’s sorry

- All of RAD throws a huge goodbye party for you

- Lots of tears

- During the movie night of like that last few days

- As a little treat for you, you still sleep w Lucifer lmao

- Like you sneak out to go to the bathroom and none of the brother see you for the rest of the night?? Yeah we knew already

- He WILL cry jsyk

- He’s pressing kisses all over you and holding you like you’ll disappear

- Mumbling praises into your skin

- The most he’s ever said “I love you” in his entire existence

- Looking at you with teary eyes

- Can’t keep up his prideful façade

- He’s okay with being vulnerable to you

- Again hit him w the “my morning star”

- And he will go crazy

- Tears up when you leave

- Like he can’t even front like he’s not about to go throw up

- They’re all anxious that they won’t ever see you again because you still hate them

- I promise you on everything in all three realms

- They almost do NOT let you leave when you go

- “Thank you for my time here, I love all of you.”

- They are inconsolable

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some moooore little incorrect quotes from Descendants! This is gonna be a long one, sorry not sorry.

(with ships)

Audrey: *kisses Uma*

Uma: !

Audrey: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

Uma: Did- did I what?

Audrey: My chapstick, Uma. Did you steal it?

Ben: Audrey, for the love of God, not this again.

Uma: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Audrey: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Uma: Chocolate and popcorn?

Ben: Why do you think it got discontinued?

(WHY IS THERE NO YELLOW! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE BEN BLUE! I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY BLUE ONES! Also slay and wtf? What a great start)

---

Ben: Do you think I'm plastic?

Audrey: No.

Ben: Phew. Oka-

Audrey: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.

(Damn. What did he do to yo-..oh.. right.. yeah. I've also decided to make him Orange because it's close to yellow)

---

Ben: War is heck!

(facts)

---

Chad, to Ben: If my dad doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

Charming, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

(Absolutely. Canon)

---

Audrey: God, if only someone loved me…

Uma: *standing behind them with roses*

Ben: *holding box of chocolates*

Chad: *has balloons and a card*

Mal: *facepalms* This is sad.

(Me: *holding a big Teddy Bear* lol I had a crush on her only in the Third movie. Loved her Queen of Mean Era)

---

Chloe: So, what is Red to you?

Maddox: The reason I wake up every morning.

Chloe: ...That’s adorable.

Red earlier that morning, barging into Maddox's room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

(They've got this sibling bond)

---

Chloe: Are pigeons drones?

Chad: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Chloe: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Chad: *Crying* Please let me sleep...

(Sibling sleepover. Also Chloe, your Mary Anne is showing)

---

Red: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Red: Even if I seem helpful.

Maddox: Then you're in luck.

Maddox: Because you don't.

(Canon)

---

Uma: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Carlos: Actually, Jane is my favourite.

Uma: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

(Yup and I love you. Carlos and Jane✨🫠)

---

Evie: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

(Sweet and dangerous. Perfect.)

---

Uma: Evie said its my turn with the brain cell.

Mal: Square up.

(lol. Canon.)

---

Uma: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Chad: No it doesn't.

Jane: Firetruck!

Mal: FUCK!

(Mal speaks my mind. Jane is smart and Chad got the spirit. He's not wrong tho.)

---

Jay: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Carlos:

Jay:

Carlos: ...Please, go back to bed.

(Jay loves to annoy everyone. Mostly Mal.)

---

Carlos: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Jane's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

(..why didn't you just ask? But also impressive)

---

Chad: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Chloe: IT.

Dizzy: Annabelle.

Maddox: Paranormal Activity.

Red: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

(Honestly just did this because Kylie was in the HSMTMTS. Honestly. They do that in Auradon too. So watch out)

---

Red: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Chloe: ...

Red: Oh, right. The lying.

(Has she ever lied to Chloe? I don't think so. But I find the quote funny)

---

Evie: A mouse!

Mal, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Jay, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Carlos, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Gil, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Harry: His name is Remi, dummy.

Evie: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(um.. yeah.. you know what-)

Chloe: A mouse!

Dizzy, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Celia, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Maddox, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Chad, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Red: His name is Remi, dummy.

Chloe: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(just some family time)

---

Chad: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Red: That’s brilliant.

Chad: Thank you, Maddox.

(yeah)

---

Jay: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Carlos, they’re perfect.

Carlos: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon.

(Facts. He is perfect)

---

Red: Hold the fuck up.

Chloe: Excuse me?

Red: I said hold the fuck up.

Chloe:

Red: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

(Aww...canon.. I mean she's not a fuck up. Maybe in her mother's eyes. But aww)

---

Jay: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Mal: What?

Jay: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

(Because she and Evie finally got together. UwU)

---

Evie: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?

Jay: Hey, I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

(He definitely did that with his teammates)

---

Jay: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Evie: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

(Oof. Do I want to know?)

---

(Little surprise from the past)

Charming: Care to give a free sample to a pretty person?

Ella, manning a bake sale and tired of their shit: Sure! You know one?

Charming:

Charming: Care to give a free sample to an ugly person?

(he's trying)

---

Brigdet: I have a question.

Ella: Shoot.

Bridget: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Hook: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Ella: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Bridget: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Hook: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Morgie: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Hook: Morgie is not allowed to talk anymore.

(Just them having a double date)

---

Bridget: Made you all playlists!

Bridget: Hades and Maleficent, yours have only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Bridget: Ella and Uliana, yours have sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Bridget: Charming, Morgie and Hook have the ABBA Gold album.

(she knows them well)

---

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Ella: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Bridget: ...I did. I broke it.

Ella: No. No you didn't. Uliana?

Uliana: Don't look at me. Look at Morgie.

Morgie: What?! I didn't break it.

Uliana: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Morgie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Uliana: Suspicious.

Morgie: No, it's not!

Hook: If it matters, probably not, but Maleficent was the last one to use it.

Maleficent: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Hook: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Maleficent: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, James!

Bridget: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ella.

Ella: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Hook: Ella... Hades has been awfully quiet.

Hades: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Ella, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Ella: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Ella:

Ella: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(Damn Ella)

---

Bridget: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Morgie, bored: Can’t we just leave while they’re distracted?

Ella, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Morgie: I hate you.

(No. It doesn't taste good and it's flaky? I don't like the paper ones. I like the plastic ones. Love to chew on them, tastes neutral ig idk. Wooden sticks tho. Taste great. And you can chew on them. But they break easily and you could get a splinter I think? But still Wooden wins for me. Plastic second and then paper)

---

Hope you liked it!

This was a bit longer.

Sorry not sorry.

Byeee.

[thehouseofurmotha]

Hi! I was wondering if you can please do katsuki bakugo dating fem!reader who’s quirk is like panty from panty and stocking but her personality is like super sweet but will get mean if need to (also if it’s not a problem can it be dating hc’s? 🫶

Hiya! Thank you for the request <3 I've never watched Panty and Stocking so everything is based on what I've read from google, so if anything is wrong feel free to correct me and I'll rewrite it! <3 (I am def gonna watch it soon though so I might as just redo it based on information I get from that)

• You and Bakugou were dating for 2 months, when you finally told him about what exactly your quirk is. It's safe to say you don't think you'll ever see him as flustered as he was. You thought it was very adorable though.

• You understand that certain details of your quirk can be embarrassing to other people. Though feeling embarrassed about your quirk is never a thought that's occurred to you. But after Midoriya passed out one time while he was asking questions about your quirk you figured it was better to keep to yourself.

• You and Bakugou had known each other from childhood, and had started dating 2 months before you started U.A.

• Bakugou is like 'wait how tf did you figure out what your quirk was.

• You explain to him that you have another form, and you turning into that when you were 6 is how you found out about that. But then you explain to him that you didn't know about your gun until you were 14, and you were trying to get changed and suddenly there was a gun in your hand. Was a very confusing moment for you 😭

• He thinks your quirk is cool asf though, and he's always pushing you to do your best in training. He'd never tell you about it but he really wants to see your other form.

• The first time he does it's safe to say bro was WHIPPED. He thought you looked like an absolute goddess.

• let's talk about the reasons he ended up seeing your other form though. Everyone in the class adored you, they thought you were the sweetest. Until someone pissed you off.

• During the attack on the USJ, you had ended up with Bakugou and Kirishima. Bakugou was just happy that you were with him so he could protect you. Bakugou knew you were strong, Kirishima on the other hands only saw what you did during the first training activity and the fitness test, which sadly didn't end up being much.

• Homie was like, "stay behind me y/n! I'll protect you. And you and Bakugou both look at him like 'bitch what?' Then you guys start getting attacked by villains so you get your weapon out, starting to shoot at the villains. And then you watch one of them get a nasty hit and Bakugou.

• You were pissed, and not about to let that shit slide. Then before you've realized it, you're in your other form. Which your parents lovingly adorned your Angel form. (Idk if I used that word right guys).

• Bakugou and Kirishima could not 🙅‍♀️ keep their eyes off of you, like you were so bright. Your boyfriend thought you looked like an absolute goddess and was absolutely going to tell you so after this.

• If the class (or specifically mineta) ever found out about the full truth of your quirk. He would yell at anyone who said any weird or rude comments about it.

Bonus:

(During the fitness test)

"Kats, real quick gimmie your underwear." You whisper at him, maybe a bit to loud cause u get some odd looks from your classmates.

"Y/n what the actual fuck."

"Don't be weird about it, it'll hopefully make the barrel of my baby big enough to launch the softball out of it." You give him a small smile, not really understanding that he's still embarrassed about it.

"You are the weirdest person ever." Yet he still obliges, and you were right which meant you at least didn't come in last place during the test.

Aizawa was a little concerned tho when you transformed them back and threw Bakugou's pair at him while none of your classmates were looking.

[amaderika]

PERVERT ! YORU

CW: mature themes, i tried doing nb reader, humping, masturbation,,,, awkward silence

A/N: so i was feeling more of yoru today instead of finishing the tatsuomi fic that has been in my drafts for months now 😀😀😁😁😁 ill finish it one day I SWEAR I WILL

yoru was your roommate. he was really quiet, never really talked to anyone. why? well, he was a pussy. he got absolutely no fucking bitches and he was a loner. come on, he knew no one would want to talk to him, let alone you. but, to his surprise, you were different. he thought this was too cliche. why were you so nice to him? no one's ever treated him this well before. you helped him decide where to place his stuff when he first moved in, made him some cookies, what the fuck? if someone told him you were an angel sent from heaven, he would believe them. you were godsent.

so. . it wasn't his fault, right? jerking off to the thought of you? it wasn't his fault you went to work wearing such a tight shirt! it couldn't be wrong... searching for porn videos with models who looked like you and humping your favorite pillow he knows you sleep with every night. it was okay though, because he loved you!

"fuck — i want you so bad right now. i'm so gross.." yoru moaned out as he dragged his cock up and down your pillow. it smelt exactly like you. too bad it wasn't actually you though.

was he actually going to cum on your pillow? shit, he had to stop this. he was going to far deep. but.. it felt so good.

a loud whimper left his lips as he moved his hips as much as he could. this was some crazy loser activity. he had no rhythm. he was getting weak. he felt like he was gonna pass out any time soon. just imagining you moaning out his name as he thrusted deep inside of you, feeling your warmth, taking in your scent. . there was no way he could stop now. those thoughts of him fucking you instead of this stupid pillow were interrupted when he heard his phone buzzing.

you were calling him.

it happened so suddenly. he scrambled to reach for his phone, immediately pressing accept. this lucky bastard. . he was able to hear your voice now? out of all times?

"yoru! i'm so glad you picked up. i just wanted to ask you what you wanted for dinner?" you said from the other line. you didn't know he was getting off to your sweet voice. he felt like he just hit the jackpot with this one.

it was pathetic how his cock throbbed when he heard you. while keeping up with his movements, he replies with a shaky voice.

"a-anything is fine with m-me as long as you're the one who makes it." he got rougher with his movements. hearing your voice just motivated him even more. please don't hang up — he was secretly hoping.

he was trying so hard to keep quiet. he wouldn't want to let you know he was such a disgusting pervert for you. he didn't want you to think lowly of him. you were the only person who genuinely cared about him and he wouldn't want you to think otherwise.

his cock was twitching, ready for release. the precum coming from it was leaking down to his fingers. just a few more seconds of your voice. .

he put the phone away from him as he came on the soft cushion. as you hung up, he pulled away from the mess he made, a trail of white liquid separating him from it. he was so embarrassed.

you came back home later than usual. you went to your room, noticing your favorite pillow was gone. well, you're too tired to think about that now. you decide to just go to sleep and search for it the next day. yoru got lucky this time.

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Your assistant?

Devil!reader/Wanda maximoff

Words: 2,400

Summary: So your typical story of a devil being owed money from a family but instead of paying Wanda’s parents give her to you instead, her first day with you is an eventful one to say the least, I’m sure you two will get along great!

Not a slow burn but we don’t have Wanda in our grips yet, not willingly anyway

Warnings: 18+ only! MINORS DNI swearing, some inappropriate language I think, lmk if I missed any more

*********************************************

You glared at the woman across the table from you, her whole body stiffened when she glanced up and saw you looking, that made you chuckle glancing at the redhead next to you “I think she’s nervous Natty” you chuckled but the Russian just rolled her eyes “you snatched her up from her dorm room before her classes, she’s probably worried about her attendance”

You nodded “I never understood why humans are so concerned with keeping schedules, life is short just go out and enjoy yourself, kill some men and fuck their wives, what else do they need to do?” You looked back at the woman across from you leaning forward to be closer “hey pretty girl, sorry for snatching you up but I really needed to talk to you”. She finally looked up again at you “if this is a way of asking me out then it’s really fucking stupid” you heard Natasha suck in a breath and you smirked knowing full well how Nat gets when someone younger than her swears, she was weird like that “watch your fucking tone miss Maximoff and don’t you dare speak to us like that!” See? Weird, she hates swearing but will swear at anyone who swears at her.

“Natty my aggressive little spider monkey how about you go outside and find Maria, use her body for a little bit to calm down okay?” You patted her slammed fist and she sighed agreeing to leave you alone with the woman, when she exited the room you moved across the room sitting next the woman smiling “little one do you know how much debt your family is in?”

Wanda shook her head “I know mama and papa like to bet on the horses but they said we were okay and had nothing to worry about” you nodded along with her and held out your hand for her take which she did “I understand they told you everything was fine but unfortunately you’re still in debt and as you can imagine I would like to be payed Wanda, be it money or other favours I choose”

Wanda snatched her hand away standing up shocked “oh so that’s why you snatched me?! Am I becoming some kind of prostitute for you and the crazy bitch out there to pay off my family’s debt?!”

You eyes widened and you had to hide your laughter “I mean if you wanted to skip around the place wearing barley nothing while the women here grope and use you then sure you can become our little plaything” her face dropped in horror and she went to speak again but you held your hand up stopping her “no pretty girl I won’t make you become our plaything, but I do need your help, you’ll become my assistant, you know helping with documents and accompanying me to events and meetings, your parents have already agreed”

Wanda was shocked, her parents really agreed to this? How could they, she had to call them.

“You can’t call them honey, from the moment you were taken by my security all communication was terminated between you and them, I can’t have you telling them what kind of activities you have gotten up to”.

“Like what?” She was curious but also nervous, you couldn’t do things that bad right? Also how did you read her mind?

You stood up stalking toward Wanda pressing her against the wall “I need you to trust me Wanda” your hand found it’s way to Wanda’s waist rubbing small circles there “do you trust me?” She shook her head no “I don’t know you, you literally snatched me up from my dorm and now you’re touching me inappropriately”.

You laughed “inappropriately? My fingers are on your waist not inside your pussy so don’t you dare tell me I’m being inappropriate right now, so I’ll ask you again, do you trust me?”

Wanda sighed relenting “sure” you smiled “good, your first job is to accompany me to a meeting in 20 minutes, you’ll stay quiet until I say you can speak, if you step out of line Natty will slit your throat faster than you can say sorry, got it?”

Wanda nodded her head so quickly you thought it would fall off “well done princess now to business” she didn’t have time to do anything before you lent down to kiss marks down her throat, sucking harshly against her skin she tried pushing you away but your hands gripped her keeping her in place “stay.still” you said sternly and Wanda relented standing still and letting you continue, you pulled away admiring the dark purple mark now blooming on Wanda’s neck “perfect”

Wanda let out a breathy sigh “I thought you said I was just your assistant, why’d you do that?”

You smiled kissing Wanda on the cheek “you are, but if I don’t mark you as mine then our conversation about you not becoming our plaything would’ve been for nothing Carol can be ravenous with an unmarked human”

“Why do you keep saying humans? It’s a little strange” Wanda had an idea but she really hoped it wasn’t true, being snatched was bad enough but adding in some weird supernatural thing would be even worse “it’s nothing to worry your pretty little head about, just know that you belong to me and I won’t let them touch your pretty body, now come on my assistant we have a meeting to go to”

**************************************************************************************************************”Took you long enough” Nat looked at Wanda’s neck and smirked “you work quick Y/n, that should keep the others away, maybe Carol will behave herself for once-

The double doors before you slammed open and the before mentioned Carol appeared with dark red eyes honing in on Wanda who quickly moved behind you clinging to your arm “are you our lunch? You look delicious!”

You growled at Carol keeping her in place “she’s mine and if you don’t stay away I will tear you limb from limb and make you eat the limbs” the woman held her hands up smiling at you “I love it when you threaten me Y/n, gets me all hot and bothered” she stepped towards you kissing you and biting your lip

“I miss you baby” she whispered and you rolled your eyes “you can’t say that when I walked in on you eating out Val, clearly you don’t miss me that much” You pushed the blonde away from you and Wanda and laughed at Carol’s expression, “you know she tricked me”

“How? Did she tell you there was candy in there? I’m guessing it was something sour” it was Wanda’s turn to let out a laugh now but she immediately shut up when everyone turned to look at her “was that funny princess?” You asked and she nodded “you’ll fit right in Wanda”

You pushed her through into the room and dragged her to a chair where you sat and she looked around confused “where do I sit?”

You pointed to your lap “either here or the floor” you stated matter of factly and Wanda blushed “w-why don’t I get a chair?”

“Because you’re mine and it’s a great way to keep a close eye on you if you’re on my lap, now sit” you pulled her onto your lap clumsily making the group laugh “god she’s adorable” Carol chuckled making her way next to you “forgive me yet?” She asked kissing your neck “no and I probably never will” she whined sadly “please forgive me I haven’t done anything since-

“Carol sit the fuck down!” Nat shouted jolting both Carol and Wanda “fuck me Nat you need to calm down” Carol scoffed moving away from you and avoiding the angry redhead’s gaze “I’ll calm down when you learn to not to stick your tongue where it doesn’t belong, I had to deal with Y/n’s heartbreak for weeks after she found you”. Carol rolled her eyes “we’re not children okay, how about we just carry on with the meeting”

You laughed “for once being an adult Carol, well done” you turned back to Wanda kissing her cheek “we need you to do something special, will you do that for me?”

Wanda shrugged knowing she couldn’t really say no “sure- she squeaked, when you jumped up with her in your arms suddenly “perfect!” You stood her up pointing to a bag on the table that she didn’t notice to begin with “can you take this dagger and stab the bag?”

Wanda looked at you questionably “what?”

“Just simply take the dagger and pierce the bag like a cook in the bag chicken” you pushed the dagger into Wanda’s hand making her face the bag guiding her hand “there’s nothing to worry about, stab right here” you pointed to a slightly raised part of the bag “what if I don’t want too?”

You shrugged “then I let Carol have her way with you” she glanced over at Carol who had her eyes glued to Wanda’s body and when she met her eyes Carol smiled “I would ruin you-

Wanda didn’t hesitate stabbing the bag but instantly regretted it when the bag spurted out blood and all over her, she heard roars around the room and heard Natasha’s voice “she hit the jugular vein! Like a pro!” Wanda couldn’t move her hand still grasping the dagger and the voices being drowned at by the blood rushing to her head

You cautiously removed Wanda’s hand from the dagger and pulled the stunned woman away from the group whispering in her ear “you did so well princess, what a good girl”.

Your voice went unnoticed by Wanda still shocked at what she did, she didn’t register you took her away until your forced her into a room and she could breathe again

“I can’t believe I did that….I killed someone…I fucking killed someone!” Wanda was shouting and panicking unable to calm herself down until you wrapped your arms around her waist leaning in close to her ear “shh shhh honey I understand come on now…shhh everything’s okay, I’m so proud of you” while your words did calm her down they didn’t stop tears from falling “I hate it here” she whispered and you kissed her cheek turning her around to face you “it’s been 3 hours, give it time”

Wanda had no fight back, instead she fell into you letting you lay her on the bed “rest for a while princess, take it all in”

*****************************************************************************************

Nat found you drinking whiskey like a movie villain in your chair in a dark area of the front room “why are you sat in the dark like a movie villlian?”

You shrugged turning on the light illuminating the room and making you squint “why are you dripping blood all over my floor?” Looking at Nat covered in blood wasn’t anything new, in fact if she don’t have blood on her you’d be very concerned “Carol and I went out hunting and she can’t keep things clean”. You nodded along passing Nat a comically small napkin to wipe her face “thanks bud soooo helpful, how’s the assistant?”

“She’s a little upset about killing someone which is typical but I’m sure she’s fine” Nat sat down opposite you taking the bottle from the table and taking a long drink “I guess human’s do struggle with killing another living person, silly really”.

You agreed taking the bottle back and taking a swig sitting in silence with the woman for a few minutes. “I think she’s awake” Nat spoke up, you hummed in response turning your head to the stairs seeing your new assistant standing nervously on the stairs “feeling better Wanda?” She didn’t say anything instead she just walked downstairs and sat herself on your lap “oh? What do I owe the pleasure of this?” She pulled you into a kiss surprising both you and Nat, while you were definitely enjoying this you didn’t notice Wanda pulling a small knife from her pocket and plunging it into your stomach

You both stilled and Wanda’s breathing was heavy while you remained stoic staring into her eyes “did you really think that would work princess?”

Wanda felt a hand grab her hair and drag her off of you and throw her to the floor, when she looked up she saw Nat pointing a gun at her “give me a reason not to shoot you right between the eyes”.

You gently pulled the knife from your body discarding it on the floor and standing up and looking down at Wanda “you kill one person and now you want to kill me? Nat couldn’t even kill me so you don’t have a chance”. The tears gathered in Wanda’s already red and you started to feel bad making Nat lower her gun “Nat give us a minute”

The assassin sent you a questionable look but you just repeated “give us a minute” Nat sighed and put her gun away sparing Wanda one last glare and then she left you two alone “get up” your voice was stern yet gentle and Wanda immediately stood up wiping the tears that had fallen

“I know you don’t want to be here and I don’t want your experience to be horrible but you need to help me too, you’re here because of your parents they’re the ones you should be angry with, not me, if I didn’t step in for you you would’ve been sent to Steve and his group, they wouldn’t of hesitated to make you their plaything”

“I feel like I’m in a bad nightmare”

“Do you like to paint?” Wanda cocked her head to the side at the sudden change in sentence direction “what?”

“I said do you like painting? I have an art studio and it helps when I’m stressed, maybe it’ll help you adjust here”

Wanda gave a genuine smile “I do like painting, that would be nice”

You nodded walking through your house followed by the girl keeping close to you she didn’t get lost, finally coming to a door you opened it revealing the huge room with canvases and paints and even some pottery pieces

“Wow, this is a stark difference to a few hours ago” Wanda commented and you held back a laugh by biting your tongue “well I do have layers to me, take some time to paint or just look at some paints-

Wanda turned to face you stopping you talking

“Are you okay?” You asked and Wanda shook her head “I’ve killed someone, stabbed you, been threatened with a gun between my eyes by a crazy woman and now you’ve given me a nice room to paint in”

You shrugged “I need you be in a good mood to be working with me, otherwise I don’t have any use for you”

Wanda’s smile dropped “oh okay, I thought you were being nice”

Why were you being like this? What is the human doing to you, god Nat would never let you hear the end of it if you started to soften

“I just don’t want you to put yourself in any danger, then I’d have to deal with the consequences”

Wanda have a halfhearted smile and turned back to the room sitting down on the chair “can I have some time on my own, to process all of this?”

You sighed “sure, I need to do things, I’ll have to lock the door though and you’ll stay here for the next two hours then I’ll come and get you, the bathroom is over there” you pointed to a painted door “enjoy yourself, I won’t be this generous again”

You quickly left before she said anything and make you feel weird again, Natasha was waiting for you outside the room making you jump “fuck me nat what the hell?!”

The woman crossed her arms “why didn’t you let me kill her?”

“What?”

“You could find another one, she stabbed you and instead of killing her you just show her your painting room? Is the devil becoming soft?”

You pushed her hard against the wall and kept her pinned there with your arm “I’m not soft! She’ll break I’ll break her, todays just a learning day”

The Russian rolled her eyes “sure you will-

“Y/n!” Carol ran up to you stopping whatever Nat was going to say

“What do you want Carol?” You sighed and she grabbed you kissing you hard “please take me back! I need you I’m really sorry about Val I swear she means nothing to me”

Nat laughed at Carol’s poor attempts at getting you back but then you did something unexpected “I don’t forgive you Carol but I need to do something stupid and here you are, come on”

You dragged a happy Carol away to your room leaving the shocked demon behind “why do I put myself through this? Take me back to poking humans with a hot poker in hell over this any day”

[icequeenlila]

Context: They had a funny accident in a grocery store and almost kissed. Now they're in the car (convertible) and Max is teasing Bradley about it.

Max only laughed more, shaking his head as he did so. “It kinda was my own fault. Next time just tell me when I’m pushing too far.”

“You’re always pushing too far!”, Bradley called over the roar of the wind.

“Can’t help it!”, Max called back. “You’re way too cute when you’re flustered.”

“I wasn’t flustered!”

“So flustered.”

“Shut up!”

“Will you kiss me if I do?”

Bradley choked on whatever else he was about to say. He bent over slightly, trying to catch his breath.

“Shit”, he heard Max chuckle next to him, a hand coming down to his back and swatting down a few times, until Bradley seemed to be able to breathe again.

“Too far?”

“Always”, Bradley grumbled, sitting back straight.

“Sorry”, Max said, not sounding sorry at all.

That bitch.

“What are you doing?”, Bradley asked when he noticed the car slowing down.

“I’m stopping the car.”

“Why?”

“Because we can’t talk over all this noise.”

Bradley felt slight panic rise inside his chest as Max slowly let the car come to a stop on the side of the road. They were in the middle of nowhere, green landscape to their left and a huge field of sunflowers to their right.

“We don’t have to talk at all”, he protested. “Keep driving.”

“Brad.” Max said, looking Bradley straight in the eyes. “We almost kissed. We should talk about it.”

Bradley stared him right down, his stomach fluttering like a traitor. “Keep. Driving.”

“I. Won’t.” There was that damn smirk again. “Just admit you like me and totally wanted to kiss me.”

Bradley was in need of a word for a stronger color than red, because the heat on his face definitely broke all previous records.

He was still staring a Max, lips pursed and nose blown.

“If you won’t drive”, he said, voice tight with embarrassment. “I’ll just walk.”

Max frowned at him. “Wha- Wait!”

But Bradley had already pushed open the door of the car and was stepping outside. Fuck this guy. He wanted to pressure him into admitting his feelings? No way.

“So you just leave me with your car and the keys?”, Max called after him.

Bradley was walking towards the sunflowers. Why, he didn’t know. He liked sunflowers. They were his favorite. He heard the thud of a car door being shut behind him, and the sound of the car getting locked.

“I still have my phone, dipshit!”, he called over his shoulder, speeding up a bit now that he knew Max was following him. “All I have to do is call the police and report my car missing. I’ll have you behind bars by this evening!”

Max laughed at that, his voice sounding closer now. Bradley refused to turn around, but the soft, rhythmical thuds behind him told him that Max was jogging up to him. He would be next to Bradley in no time.

Bradley couldn’t have that.

So, he started running himself. Straight for the sunflowers.

“Are you for real!?”, he heard Max’ voice behind him, and the boy was still laughing. “You’d rather get lost in a flower labyrinth than just confess to me!?”

“Watch me!”

Bradley picked up his pace, not even stopping when he reached the edge of the flower field. The sunflowers were in full bloom, their blossoms towering way over Bradley’s head. Bradley cut right through them, pushing away thick flower stems, until he found a narrow food path that ran through the field.

“Brad!” Max had an incredulous tone to his voice, like he couldn’t actually believe he was chasing someone – Bradley of all people – through a flower field.

“Not my name!”, Bradley called back and he couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled from his chest.

The bodily activity made his heart beat faster, the thrill of the chase making him feel somewhat euphoric.

He heard Max’ laughing as he pushed forward, making his way through the floral labyrinth. “Keep complaining, like that I know where you are!”

The implied threat in his words made Bradley giggle with excitement.

The chase went on like that until Bradley finally felt his breath run short. He got slower and slower until he had just to accept that he wouldn’t be the winner of this race.

Funny. The second race he lost to Max, and this time he wasn’t even mad.

“Got ya!”, Max called when his hand grabbed onto Bradley’s shoulder.

Bradley just let out a breathy giggle, letting himself be spun around by the boy. He felt almost high, his heart still beating rapidly from all the running, Max’ strong arms wrapping around his middle and pulling him in.

“The fuck, Goof?”, he breathed, stemming his hands against Max’ shoulders, only halfheartedly trying to push him off.

“I caught you”, Max said and his brown eyes were blown wide, a dopy look inside them. “Now admit that you like me.”

“I don’t!”, Bradley protested, lightly pushing at the boy’s shoulders.

His head was spinning. Max was close. His hold on Bradley was firm. He could feel the strength inside the boy’s arms as Max kept him in place, pulling him in against his chest. Fuck.

“Say you like me.”

Bradley just laughed breathily, shaking his head.

Max was grinning up at him, that cute gap showing again. Bradley could feel Max’ breath hit the skin of his chin, warm and somewhat moist and sending a shiver down his spine. He felt his guts pull tight, a tingly sensation spreading through his entire body.

“Admit that you like me and totally tried to kiss me back there”, Max kept teasing, leaning in closer.

“I don’t and I didn’t”, Bradley protested, but it was breathy, barely more than a whisper.

He took a step back and Max just followed him, his arms still circled around Bradley’s waist. Fuck, he was getting light headed. He had to get out of this situation or … or …

He couldn’t think anymore.

“’kay then. I’ll make it easier for you”, Max kept on and his voice sounded just as breathless as Bradley’s.

“I like you”, Max said, his voice a deep whisper. “And I totally wanted you to kiss me back there.”

Bradley died and came back to life in a matter of seconds, heat blooming inside his chest and spreading through his entire body. There was just Max’ warmth, Max’ breath, Max’ arms wrapped around him, Max, Max, Max.

“What?”

There was no sound to his voice. At least he couldn’t hear it over the low buzz in his ears.

Max was loosening his hold on Bradley’s waist, one of his hands wandering down to rest on his hip, the other caressing up and down Bradley’s side with featherlight touch that made his stomach tingle and his vision blur.

“I want to kiss you, Bradley”, Max said, and he was close enough now that Bradley could feel his hot breath ghost over his own lips.

If somebody had asked him what his name was right now, Bradley couldn’t have answered. His head was thoroughly empty, nothing on his mind but Max.

“Max”, he whispered, because it was the only word he could formulate at the moment.

“Can I kiss you, Bradley?”

Max eyes were heavily lidded, jumping between Bradley’s eyes and lips. He felt the tip of Max’ nose brush oh so faintly against his own, their breath mixing as he leaned in closer and closer.

“Max”, he breathed, his fingers gripping down on Max’ shoulders as his knees went weak.

“Push me away if you don’t want it”, Max said and Bradley could taste him on his tongue, could taste the warm air from Max’ mouth.

He was dizzy, everything a warm buzz. His head was empty and his whole body vibrating with the heavy pounding of his heart beat.

“Push me away”, Max whispered as he came impossibly closer, the sides of their noses brushing together, their lips only millimeters apart.

Bradley couldn’t have moved for the life of him. The last thing he wanted was to push Max away.

“’kay then”, Max breathed and Bradley felt his smile against his own lips, despite no longer being able to see it.

Max looked up at him one more time, giving him one last chance to push him away, to stop this from happening. Bradley didn’t budge.

+

Hehe. Mean cut, I know.

Link to 'Good Luck, Babe!' on ao3. (This scene is from chapter 5)

[crazy-bxmbo-bxtch]

Yandere HUMAN! Hazbin Hotel X Popular reader

Summary: Separate Hazbin characters and their love and obsession for the school's popular girl

A/n: I'm very excited about this one, also College AU/ Modern

Characters: Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer

___________________________________________

Alastor

I feel as if he would like to have an innocent or the mega bitch type of girl. An innocent to play into his love for corruption, a bitch so he can break her sprirts.

Now, if you're an innocent, he will be in awe of you. The reason you are popular is your kindness and beauty toward others, even the bad ones.

Alastor would constantly look at you during lectures, and it was noticeable to anyone who squinted, looking at you promptly.

One day, he will gain the door to be active in your life, getting close to you, by studying.

Imagine this, you are failing a class, and you ask your teacher after in private about it. After talking, you realize there is no fixing your current grade for the class, and the semester is almost over. Not to worry, Alastor will happily invite you over to study with him.

Now... a smart person, knew not to go into Alastor's home, as he is the school's sketchy phyco, as in, the whole university is pretty sure he kills people in private....and practiced black magic..

But in your position, you need the help, plus you're pretty sure he's not a killer, I mean, how could he? Based on the talk you had, he's a man who likes music, loves and respects his mother, and knows how to sing and dance. He's harmless. He was so sweet too, telling you things like "the color on your lips looked Devine on you doe." Or "such a pretty thing." He was even kind enough to make tea....

Once you were knocked out, his plan had set up into motion, then when u woke all you know is that alastor saved you from some rapists, he said "they wanted to take something precious from you." You believed him, now you were the new power couple on campus.

Now, if your a bitch, be in for some hardcore fi

Fuckary. Alasor is attracted to your spunk and your sass. He wants to be the only person who sees it.

As you beat up some pathetic girl who dared to question your delightful singing voice, Alastor was watching in awe from afar. You look so cute when you are upset. You can do no wrong in his eyes.

When it comes to courting, Alastor will be using a different approach and technique. You are not so trusting and lenient as you could have been.

I feel Alastor would show you the crazy he possesses. Let you know that, compared to him, you are weak and need protection, not independence.

Imagine you are running through your home, only in a T-shirt and panties, trying to escape the stranger who just burst into your home. As you run, you rush into the bathroom, locking the door and barricading it with anything you can find. You struggle to unlock your phone as you do so, the person says, "I wouldn't do that, my dearest." You recognized the voice, and all your fear was replaced with anger. "Alastor! What are you doing? I knew you seemed off but not this fucking unhinged!!"

As the house fell silent, Alastor let out a chuckle, "Now my dear, it's time for this attitude of yours to falter." You blacked out, now you can't leave his home, forced to drop out and become a housewife.

In either case Alastor will always

1. Obsess

2. Posses

3. And mf PROTECT

Charlie

I feel like she would also like someone coming from both mean and nice sides, a nice girl because AHHHHH HOW CUTE IS SHE, and a mean one because she wants to find your softer side and help bring it out of you.

An innocent angel that Charlie is good friends with! You both hang out all the time. You could practically be besties. Forever, and ever, and maybe even more? no, even more!

People around campus would notice how much she spends time with you and how much she touches you, she touches certain parts of your body for too long, you could be at Starbucks and she would just be practically hanging on your shoulder.

But don't be fooled, you never pay for your little "bestie dates" when you are with her, even if you offered to go and even offered to pay and she agrees to you paying, you will never be able to truly pay.

Picture this, during a lecture you text Charlie. Her being the lovesick cinnamon roll she is, she texts back immediately, you ask if she wants to go out to a park or something, and she says, 'It's a date :)'. While you are preparing later that day to hang out with your friend, Charlie is getting ready to hang out with her lover....if you are not catching on.....Charlie is DELULU.

Your friends try to warn you that she's trouble, and a little off, but you ignore them because your friends are harsher than you, you are the sweet one of the group.

Charlie's obsession with you is, for the most part, completely unknown. She can hide her sinister intentions with a smile and a trip to Starbucks.

She writes you love songs that she hopes to be able to sing for you one day, she's a charmer like her father after all.

Her biggest fear is you not wanting to be with her anymore, friends or more, she does not care, she will always make sure that u will see her as one of the people most close to you.

Now, a meaner darling will require a more pushy Charlie, she gets all up in your business, stalks your schedule, and ultimately...BOTHERS THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU.

She never leaves you alone, always trying to be overly friendly to you. She tries to get you to open up to her and look at her as someone you can trust, but hell no.

Eventually, she grows a little impatient and uses her advantage of being the principal's daughter to good use. Now you keep getting in trouble with a punishment of study hall and another punishment of having Charlie monitor you.

As you sit there under her watchful eye you can feel something peering through you, not her but a part of her. She smiles and goes back to talking about random nonsense, you got 10 more days of study hall.

...sucks to be u

Vaggie

I feel like she would love a weaker kinder girl, who is also very talkative, one who is like Heather Macnemera, one who is popular because of peer pressure. She would notice and take note of it. All of it, even your life.

The fact that you love, jewelry, hair clips, and having your nails done every month. She would definitely be awkward as hell and would get flustered a little easily.

It also was not a shock...to me at least, that you seemed to pay her some attention, whether you asked her about homework, what she does in her free time, and what her favorite foods are.

She loves the fact that you like to yap because she loves to listen. I can imagine...

Vaggie was doing her work for her major. Blasting music in her earbuds and just vibeing, when she gets a tap on her shoulder. "Hey, you got the notes from earlier?" She freezes when she sees you, "oh...uh..what?" She fucked up her response..shit..."oh..I was asking if you got the notes from earlier? He was going a little too fast for me, I blanked." You were done asking.

You scooch over lean over her shoulder and start copying her notes. Vaggie was panicking, not only were you this close to her but, you spoke to her, with not a hint of malice. Your friends give anyone hell so she was luckey to get this treatment..or that's what she thought. You were always sweet to eveyone...

After you took down the notes you started asking her meaningless questions like, 'What's your favorite color or food?' She would answer, then all of a sudden, "Ms. L/s, do you mind carrying your conversation at another time!?" The professor shouted, but, you always clap back " Well damn, chill out I was just getting the notes your fast ass keeps speeding through, not my fault." That shut him up, now all Vaggie has to do is keep you focused on her just a little....ok maybe a lot more, now she has your attention and she would be damned if she stopped now.

You both became close, Vaggie was an amazing friend...she always protected you, and made sure you stayed by her side and out of harm's way, she was amazing at self-defense, and she would always take you to your favorite fast food places. You did not even know she was crazy....oh well, need to pay attention more.

Lucifer

Now I know this man would be a class clown, it's giving Goofy short king, bro cracks jokes at the teacher that would low-key be insulting or straight rude, especially the teachers that gained some type of excessive liking of you.

He knows everything about you, your fave color, food, jewelry, car....license plate...what your car smells like.....adress....credit card number....all the numbers...anyway.

He is so lovestruck over you he would do anything to entertain you and make you laugh, even though you are two grown adults in college but eh, everyone needs to have fun once in a while.

Now, since in the show, his wife is an entertainer, I feel as though in this he would also have an entertainer darling, one that dances sings, or even acts. He always is there at your performance, he imagines that whatever you are doing is to make him happy, but he's already happy with you ..in his head at least, you do what you do because you love it, but let him be delulu.

He seems very touch starved so I know he would be clinging. Always 5 feet away from you, going off campus for food? He'll ride with you. Does YOUR class start soon? He will drop you off then go to his.

Lucifer, being Goofy, would have been already popular, so many thought you two were dating, lucifer would proudly smile and wall around like you two are together...he could only dream.

You noticed he had a thing for ducks, a little weird, but you can look past that because knows origami....and he makes duck origami for you.. which is hella random but oh well. He even made one that looks like you...he also has a secret one, well like two. They look like you both and are making a heart shape, you don't know about it.

~"Heyyy N/N, sooooo...whatcha doing..?" He asked mentally attacking himself for losing confidence halfway through his introduction. You tell him you want to head over to the park and eat sandwiches and feed the ducks, HIS WIFE, he just loves you. "YOU BETCHA, I'LL BE THERE IN 30". it's a date for him.

While you two sat and laughed, he was beaming at the fact his bad jokes were working, maybe he has a chance? You talk about majors and what you plan to do when you both leave, and he loved that you loved the arts, did he ever mention he sings?~

One thing I know is that this man likes to stare and make faces, he's jealous, what can he say? He won't admit it though, he's too prideful duh. If he attends one of your performances he watches so closely, and he almost forgets about the men making inappropriate comments about your body, they will be handled shorty though, whether he damages their dignity, or fucks them...up...he fucks them up.

Not much thought, just vibes ✨️

Requests: OPEN

[britcision]

I’m pretty sure the people bitching about not giving money to tumblr are the same ones who complain when AO3 or wikipedia ask for donations, so I’m just gonna clarify something

Running a website is not free

Even if they made no changes and did only maintenance, they still need to pay for server costs, expert programmers for when something goes wrong, storage (although frankly storage is cheap as chips these days which is nice)

They need to keep up with the capabilities of new tech like improvements to web browsers, never mind their own apps keeping pace with old and new tech developments

Backwards compatibility (being able to run the updated app on old tech) is a massive problem for apps on a regular basis, because there are people out here using an iPod and refusing to update software

There’s a reason every few years apps like Animal Crossing will issue an update that breaks backwards compatibility and you can only play if your phone is running more recent software

This shit costs money even before you look into the costs of human moderation, which I’m not exactly convinced is a big part of their current budget but fucking should be if we want an actual fix for their issues with unscreened ads and reporting bigots

Ignoring that it’s apparently illegal for companies not to actively chase profits, running Tumblr is expensive

And advertisers know we fucking hate them here

They’re still running ads, which we know because they’re all over the damn place, but half the ads are for Tumblr and its store

Other ad companies know we are not a good market, so they’re not willing to put the money in

Tumblr runs at a $30 million deficit, every year, because hosting a site is expensive

They are trying to take money making ideas from other social medias because they’re not a charity; they need to make enough money to keep the site going

If you want tumblr to keep existing, never mind fixing its many issues that require human people to be paid to do jobs like moderation, they will need money

Crabs cost $3

One crab day a year can fix the deficit and hammer home for Tumblr that:

A) we do want to be here and want the site to keep going

And B) they do not need to do the normal social media money making strategies we all hate

They need a way to make money if you want the hellsite to exist, because we live in a capitalist hellscape and cannot all be AO3

If they think they can make enough to keep running without pulling all the tricks we hate, they have no reason to pull said tricks

But they need money

And a way to make money

And if we can show them we can do that, there is a significantly higher chance they will listen to us, the user base they need money from, than if we don’t

Tumblr isn’t perfect, or anywhere close. They need someone to actually screen the paid ads they put through, they need to take the transphobia, antisemitism, and bigotry seriously

These Are Jobs That Will Cost Money

People Need To Be Fucking Paid For Their Work

Tumblr Is Not Run By Volunteers For Free And Nor Should It Be

Paying People Is Good Actually

So if you wanna get all high and mighty over $3/year, by all means, go spend that hard earned cash elsewhere

Good luck finding a perfect and morally pure business to give it to though

Being a whiny negative asshole isn’t more appealing just because you’ve put yourself on a moral soapbox, it just means the asshole is a little higher up

For all the whining about “all the new updates are terrible this site is unusable”…. It’s one fuck of a lot more usable than it was in 2017, 2018, 2020

And yeah, it’s going back down and most of the newer ones have been fucking annoying and I would also like them to stop

But it got up somehow and that means it could do that again

Hope is more fun than edgy nihilism

August 1st is a good and exciting day to summon a crab army

[sergle]

I really truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate you bitches so much, because on the tiktok of literally COCK AND BALL jokes w brittany broski, there were a few notes/messages like this:

And I KNOW you don't think anyone's going to check. You had someone go into your askbox and say "hiii brittany broski is shitty about palestine she's really ignorant :/" and you went oh omg I didn't know!! thanks for telling me! So I checked! This is in reference to her talking in her podcast, because people were asking why she hadn't done any big press statements about Palestine, you didn't retweet this or that, you must not care, don't you care, what's your stance, etc etc please say more OKAY COOL. So what's going on there? What did Brittany say on her podcast? Is she a Bad Person? Can I have some transcript, please? ____ "Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I want to talk to you about the ongoing and prolonged suffering and loss of life in Gaza, in Israel, and the oppression of Palestinian people widespread. I don't ever want it to be a question that I would ever not be against the oppression of any group of people, that I would ever stand on the side of the oppressor." "There was a lot of fear of misusing my platform." ... "I will admit that I was nervous to talk about it, because I don't want to say the wrong thing. And this is too fucking serious of an issue to misspeak, or to spread misinformation, or to speak over or for someone." ... "So I want to take a moment on my biggest platform- which is this podcast, to say that I stand with the people of Palestine, I stand for the liberation of Palestinian people." ... "Every day, to log on to social media, and be just inundated with graphic, unimaginable violence, and loss, and grief, it's just--There are no words." ... "And I feel helpless. That's part of it too, when you feel helpless, the last thing you want to do is talk to people about it-- but visibility is a resource in and of itself. And I can offer that." ... "The outpouring of rage and passion online, and anger at what's happening, I would argue needs to be dedicated and focused on our elected officials. We live in a democracy- albeit an inherently flawed one- we live in a democracy where we have elected officials who were elected and put in power to represent us, and if we feel misrepresented, if we feel underrepresented in foreign affairs? These officials have public phone numbers and emails. There are scripts available online to express your disdain and your rage, and unfortunately that's one of the only ways we'll see actionable change."   "If you expected more from me, it's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to center myself, this needs to be all eyes on Palestine right now, where the real activism is happening. I would encourage you to follow journalists that are on the ground, people who are in Gaza, we need to be listening to them. I would also hope that we're at a point in this conversation where I can express my desire to stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and that NOT meaning or suggesting or condoning anti-Semitism of any kind. There's a rise of anti-Semitism and islamophobia in the United States and it's just-- it's disgusting, and it's scary, so I want that to be said too. I just wanted to share that I am experiencing part of this collective sense of helplessness and hopelessness-- but it DOESN'T HAVE to be hopeless. I'm going to include a phone number in the description of this episode where, if you don't know the name of your senators or your Congressman, it's never too late to learn, and you can reach out to them." _______ Hm. What a bitch!! Yeah, just so ignorant and uncaring. Obviously she's not keeping up with anything. Should've retweeted more shit ig!

[ryuichirou]

TWST cursing and dirty jokes hcs

Anonymous asked:

Do you have any headcanons for the twst boys and how often they curse? Who curses the most? Who has the dirtiest mouth? Who says the worst things? Who sounds unnatural when they swear?

On the same subject, who likes dirty jokes? Who thinks they’re immature? Who knows the dirtiest most vulgar things and says them on the regular (think Miu Iruma levels of vulgarity)? Who sounds like an inexperienced virgin whenever they crack dirty jokes or says vulgar things?

Anonymous asked:

Do you have head-canons for the Twst boys cursing?

The first ask was sent quite a while ago, and the second one is today; what a good timing, because I already wanted to post this today! Thank you for your request, Anons.

This ask got me super excited. Funny thing is, I don’t really like overusing curse words for some of the characters because it feels like they wouldn’t use it… But I guess a lot of them ended up using it one way or another huh.

When it comes to Mui Iruma levels of vulgarity though, they still have a lot to learn…

Riddle – not only he doesn’t swear, he is also the type of person to say things that could have a different meaning without realising it. Like, he would say the word “come” in a perfectly normal way, and some of the boys from his dorm (Ace) would snicker… or when he said the word “sextant”, and Ace made him repeat it like 5 times by asking seemingly genuine innocent questions about the thing. Riddle absolutely hates when Ace does it, he thinks it’s beyond immature, and frankly, not a lot of things make him as mad as being caught in these “swearing” traps. He also absolutely hates dirty jokes. Riddle has never said the word “fuck” in his life, and he is very proud of it! (only heard it for the first time like 2 or 3 years ago…) I think Riddle genuinely thinks that if someone curses, it’s a sign of their low intelligence.

Ace – he curses all the time. He tries not to do it in front of some senpais (the more strict ones, like Vil or Riddle), but not all of them – he swears in front of Trey, Cater, Jamil and Floyd without holding back at all. But he is also the type that could swear even in front of a professor if he is too pissed off… He definitely got into trouble at least a couple of times for saying “FUCK” out-loud during class. Speaking of class, he likes to think that he has some, and that he isn’t an immature boy laughing at stupid dirty jokes, but he’s delusional about himself: he is an immature boy laughing at stupid dirty jokes. Sometimes he comes up with a roundabout way to call someone a virgin masturbator to tease them (mostly Deuce), but there are times when he just does the “yo mama” thing. Not as often as he used to do when he was a middleschooler though. He also called Riddle a cunt once... but “bitch” is his favourite word.

Deuce – he used to curse a lot; he would say a 10-word sentence, and at least 5 words of the sentence would be some variation of “fuck”. Delinquent baby Deuce called people twats left and right. But now he is extremely ashamed of it, and does his best not to do it… it’s kind of difficult for him because it’s been less than a year + a lot of the swear words used to be his “buffer words” that he would just stick in his speech while he was thinking of some other word, and now he has to think properly and choose his words before speaking… it’s very obvious when he’s trying to come up with another phrasing in his head because he gets silent for a couple of moments lol Still, he can’t actively think about these things all the time, so he says “fuck” every now and then, and then gets instantly embarrassed. Ace makes fun of him for that. As for the dirty jokes, he can’t help but laugh at them sometimes, but he doesn’t say anything himself, not anymore.

Trey – he prefers not to curse, it’s just not his style, plus it isn’t very pleasant to the ear overall. But it’s not like he is 100% innocent either, sometime he would mutter “fuck” quietly to himself if he is frustrated or surprised, but he tries not to do it in front of others. It would ruin the image they have of him… or make him 100 times more attractive somehow, and Trey wouldn’t really want that either! So sometimes he uses some silly phrases instead of cursing, like “fudge brownies”... He doesn’t like dirty jokes, but if they’re funny, he’ll chuckle. Very sneakily though.

Cater – he curses sometimes, but it doesn’t sound like something “heavy” when it comes from him. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t overdo it and says it casually, like “holy shit” or “I’m fucking excited”. Funny enough, he tries to change these words into “frick” or “holy cow” when he’s around freshmen. Yes he knows that both of them curse, but he’s trying to set an example here, right? He loves dirty jokes though! But then again, he would say them in a very sneaky way not to ruin his cute and cool senpai image.

Leona – he curses more than Falena does, and he started to do it exactly to spite Falena. His brother is very proper with his way of speaking, and whenever Leona says something a prince shouldn’t, Falena always looked bothered and disappointed – this is why he got this habit. He doesn’t swear all the time, but whenever he does, it sounds surprisingly fitting and natural. He doesn’t like dirty jokes though; I guess deep inside he is a prince after all.

Ruggie – he knows a lot of curse words, and some of them are very rare, creative and frankly scary sounding, but he doesn’t swear very often – he is very good at controlling himself. He knows that you can seriously affect the way others see you in professional setting if you go around cursing left and right. Still, Ruggie does say “fuck” and “shit” sometimes. And he loves dirty jokes! He doesn’t make those jokes himself, but he would laugh at one if he hears it.

Jack – he doesn’t swear at all, but if he is deeply, extremely angry, then after all the “GRRRRR”s you miiiight hear one “fuck”. But this is such a rare occasion that it’s going to sound weird coming from him. He also doesn’t like it when the word “bitch” is used as a curse word because now he can’t use it normally without having other freshmen giggle… He also hates dirty jokes :( party pooper.

Azul – he doesn’t normally curse, in general, he would prefer not to curse at all, but sometimes, when he speaks you could almost hear him starting to say something bad, and then quickly change it into something else. Azul got one nasty tongue, but it’s mostly hidden… mostly. The Tweels know that Azul could say curse words that would make a lot of people blush (not them though). Azul doesn’t limit himself when he’s talking to them + sometimes mutters to himself angrily. He also picked up some of the words and phrases from Idia. But when it comes to dirty jokes, Azul absolutely hates them and thinks they are the lowest form of comedy. When did you become a comedy expert, Azul?

Jade – sometimes he looks like he is just waiting for the right moment to drop the F-bomb when people around him expect it the least, but he knows that once he does it, this mystique and this tension will be lost forever. It won’t feel like a big deal anymore. So he doesn’t do it… yet. He is waiting for the perfect moment to drop his first F-bomb! <3 He is also a liar though, this isn’t his first F-bomb at all. When it comes to dirty jokes, Jade, surprisingly, loves them when someone else is the target. But he has very high standards for those and wants them to be as nasty as possible! He won’t say it, of course, but he’s always hoping the joking person will go there.

Floyd – oh he curses no problem. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it – this is just the way he speaks. His parents and teachers tried to combat Floyd’s cursing habits, but no one’s ever succeeded at anything… he cursed in front of Crowley once, and Crowley couldn’t even scold him.  Everyone is powerless against Floyd’s “fuck”… He does like dirty jokes every now and then, but they are hit or miss with him. Sometimes he laughs hysterically at the most raunchy immature things ever, but sometimes he just looks disappointed and says “nah that’s just nasty”. He loves teasing Riddle with dirty jokes though… he always reacts in a fun way.

Kalim – he doesn’t swear! He just doesn’t feel the need to. When he was little, he asked Jamil what a “fuck” was… and then there was a moment when he was very confused about pussies and cocks. What an animal farm! The truth is, people don’t really swear around Kalim, so cursing is still sounds very unnatural to him. He doesn’t judge though! But he doesn’t like dirty jokes… they kind of make him uncomfortable? He likes silly toilet humour sometimes though, which is ??? Why, Kalim? As long as it isn’t too gross, I guess…

Jamil – he is the reason why Kalim asked about the meaning behind the “fuck”, and he got in so much trouble for that that he never said anything even remotely dirty around Kalim after that point. He didn’t know Kalim was listening, okay! He was just talking to himself! But yeah, Jamil curses from time to time, but also all the time in his head. He has a never-ending broadcast of repeating “what the actual fuck?” in his head at all times. He’s a bit similar to Azul in a way that you don’t want to know what he thinks… He doesn’t like dirty jokes, but he isn’t a saint – sometimes he would snicker if the joke is witty enough.

Vil – he curses extremely rarely, and he would prefer not to swear at all, but at the same time he thinks that words are just words and there is no need to be precious about it. Still he thinks that swearing at inappropriate place and time is absolutely unacceptable and shows one's disregard to people around them and their lack of self-control, tact and common sense. He lectures poor Epel a lot because Epel has no business bringing his potty mouth to his dorm. I think there are three situations in which Vil could potentially curse: out of intense frustration (super rare), in a sexual setting (who says “penis” when they fuck?) and on film if the script requires it. The latter would be such a jumpscare for everyone who knows him irl… and for his fanbase as well. He doesn’t like dirty jokes 95% of the time, but when the starts align… and if the joke is, once again, witty and not very in-your-face…

Rook – he doesn’t curse at all, but it’s not because he doesn’t like “bad words”. He finds them very poetic, and he probably experimented with them in some of his private poems, but when it comes to his manner of speech, it just doesn’t sound right. Maybe it’s because he never hears those words from the stage when he watches an opera? It’s not like his parents or anyone else prohibited him from swearing at any point in his life. I think if someone hears him say a dirty word, they would be even more shocked than hearing one from Vil. When it comes to dirty jokes Rook actually loves them, because he thinks they express a lot about a person making them. I guess he views them in a very anthropological, culturological and linguistical kind of way. Please don’t ask him what the fuck that even means, he will answer…

Epel – he knows a lot of scary words… some of which are native to the area he grew up in. Being his grandma's little copy, when Epel curses, it’s very powerful and kind of shocking. He can't really swear anymore because Vil WILL wash his mouth with soap, but sometimes he gets carried away. He is similar to Deuce in a way that he gets those “fuck- oh, I mean- geez-“ moments. He loves dirty jokes though, maybe even more than Ace does, and when he doesn’t have to pretend to be a cutie, he says some nasty stuff. Especially when he gets carried away… he loves being provocative and shocking with his jokes, but people around him usually think that he is trying too hard to be edgy sometimes lol

Idia – he swears, and it's not really a big deal to him. People who act all insulted when you use a no-no word are funny to him, especially when they are super self-righteous about it. He thinks that censorship is stupid, and keeping kids away from curse words is also stupid. No one really swears back at his home though, so it's the Internet that made Idia start cursing. He knows a lot of words that people rarely use, but they’re used on certain /boards/… you know, typical Idia behavior. He doesn’t like dirty jokes though: poop jokes are stupid and gross, dick jokes are too dick-obsessed, sex jokes are too overrated. He is yet to hear a funny one. Do better.

Ortho – he used to have a filter in his "head", just so he doesn't start repeating everything he saw on the Internet. So he used to have a no swear rule technically! And he hated it because he always wanted to say the same words Idia said, and it was very difficult for him to find a roundabout way to do it. But now he doesn’t have this filter anymore and he can curse however he wants! The first time he said the word “fuck” felt like magic. Idia (or anyone else) still can’t get used to Ortho cursing though, it sounds so wrong and weird, so Ortho doesn’t do it too much. Also, ironically, he is the one to tell Idia not to use certain words sometimes because he’s being too mean……. Also, Ortho likes dirty jokes because he feels like this is what cool kids are into, and he is a cool kid! But Idia’s disregard towards them still influences him; so he never says anything himself…

Lilia – he is horrible. I think it’s safe to say that he has the biggest library of curse words in his head, some of which went out of style ages ago, but Lilia still uses them from time to time. Well, these days he tries to be more cute, so sometimes he use cuter versions of his favourite swear words; so technically he would also say stuff like “fudge brownies” lol He sounds like a grandpa when he swears, either a sailor grandpa or a cute grumpy grandpa. He is holding back a lot though, no one would survive Lilia’s verbal attack when he’s serious. He loves dirty jokes though! They make him feel young~ Sometimes he goes “boo you’re no fun” because no one else in Diasmonia really likes this type of humour.

Silver – he doesn’t curse. Somehow, being around Lilia or his classmates didn't affect him at all. He knows what these words mean, and it's not like he is avoiding them on purpose, but they just don't stick to him. I guess he is just too pure for this world. He doesn’t  really care about dirty jokes, but when they’re said at someone else’s expense, he would ask not to harass that person. What a knight.

Sebek – he doesn’t curse, and he is extremely righteous about it! Similarly to Riddle, he thinks that people who curse are just swines with low intelligence and no self-control! Lilia is an exception, of course! I think Sebek would actually overload and faint if someone forced him to say a bad word. He curses in other ways, actually, and he thinks that phrases that he chooses are much classier. Like the words “buffoon”… or “swine” of course. Oh, and he absolutely loathes dirty jokes. Like, he would get visibly angry when he hears them.

Malleus – one day when he was younger he felt a little rebellious and dropped a no-no word on Lilia. He still remembers Lilia’s shocked face, it was priceless. Still, Malleus never curses; those words just aren’t in his vocabulary, despite the fact that Lilia is pretty comfortable swearing in front of him. Maybe the time has come for him to shock Lilia again…which word should he choose? Also yeah, no surprises here, he doesn’t like dirty jokes at all. Whenever he hears them, he feels like a teenage sister sitting at her 7 y.o. brother’s birthday while he is telling poop jokes to his friends of the same age. Out of place, awkward, a little grossed out. Sexual jokes are a bit better, but it has to be an extremely classy one said by someone he really really really likes, or he just won’t get it and get mad instead.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

when we begin again

I wanted to write something for my little huskerdust babies au! So here's some devastating angst!!

Huge thanks to @minky-for-short for being the first to indulge me in this madness and the general encouragement and huge thanks to @hangsters for putting up with me singing these songs on repeat whenever by brain goes into standby

Please reblog and leave a comment over on Ao3!

cw trans angel dust, male presenting pregnancy

-

“You have to deal with Angel Dust.”

Husk had been hearing that a lot lately. It made him happier than he’d be willing to admit to anyone with working ears. 

Well. Anyone apart from Angel Dust himself. 

But that surly voice didn’t belong to his man, it was Vaggie who had appeared against his bar, hands braced on it and interrupting the game of poker Husk had been playing against himself. There wasn’t much to do when you were a bartender who’d promised not to drink for the next six months, two weeks and three days. But who was counting? 

Husk didn’t look up, rolling the olives he used as chips from one pile to the other, blatantly cheating and willing himself not to notice, “Let me guess, he made Charlie cry again? Or was it Nifty this time? Ah fuck, did he piss off the radio demon…”

He’d rattled them off in order of likelihood but he wouldn’t put any of them past his spider demon lately. Angel Dust had always been an acquired taste with that sugared armor he put on and the sharp tongue underneath, the teasing smirk he faced the afterlife with. Hell, it had been a while before Husk broke under his charms and that was only after seeing them for what they were, pretty decoration on someone who’d been through a lot and chosen his weapons carefully. He was an asshole, smug and bitchy and vulgar, and Husk had learned to love it.

But for someone who’d actively chased chemical imbalance for years, the guy was not handling pregnancy well.

Tired, aching and hormonal, his time lately was mostly spent sulking on the couch, scowling at anyone who came near, firing off cutting remarks that weren’t so funny without the smile and wink to go along with them. There were very few people in the hotel he hadn’t upset, hitting every square on the bingo sheet, losing his shit over the smallest thing until he deserved some kind of special prize for acidity. He’d be sorry when he calmed down, continually brought to tears by his friends’ patience with him, all of them ready to play the whole scene out the next day.

Hence why Husk was asked to deal with him as often as he was, riding on his baby daddy pass. Being the spider demon’s keeper would lose its shine eventually but it hadn’t happened yet and he didn’t see it on the horizon either. 

“Well, no more than usual but…” Vaggie continued, her palm still over his winning hand. 

Husk sighed, “Look, I know he’s a lot to deal with right now but you can’t blame the guy. He was a bitch with booze, cigarettes and drugs mixed in, now he’s had to drop all three on short notice, topped off with two spider kittens using his organs as a trampoline and turning his brain into soup.” 

“No,” Vaggie’s voice shifted from surly to irritated with an edge of worry that shattered Husk’s warm feeling and pulled his eyes off his cards, “No, it’s not like that, Husk.”

“What’s up with him?” he felt his ears pick up, like if he strained enough, he could hear Angel somewhere upstairs. 

When he’d come back from the store, laden with sweet treats that made his teeth ache just looking at them and insane combinations Angel’s cravings had been demanding lately, he’d just assumed the sofa was empty because the spider was upstairs, sleeping. But Vaggie’s expression said something different. Guilt settled over Husk like a wet blanket. Why didn’t he go and check on him…

“That’s the thing, we don’t know,” the former angel folded her arms, “He was sitting in the lounge like usual, watching TV, me and Charlie were setting up for today’s lesson and suddenly he just got up and stormed off. Slammed the door and hasn’t left since. Snaps at anyone who comes knocking to go fuck themselves.” 

Husk felt the fur across his shoulders lift. Some of that was normal. Some of that gave him the concrete feeling of knowing the next card you turned would blow your hand or knowing that fist was sailing right for your nose. 

“Um…guys?” Charlie’s voice had a tremble that made it sound ready to break, “I think I know what upset him.”

The television was blaring when they ran over to where she sat in the lounge but that had a lot to do with the voice of Katie Killjoy, curdled nastily and accompanied by a dangerous lioness smile. 

And a grainy, lopsided paparazzi shot of Angel Dust, pupils wide as silver dollars and a grin so loose it was sliding right off his face, a poisonous looking martini in one of his hands, a rolled up note in another. 

“Ah fuck…” Husk groaned softly. 

“...with the frankly staggering revelation that the bumbling efforts over at the Hazbin Hotel actually work, somewhat, Hell is left with questions. How did such embarrassing methods actually produce results? Is this the first step on the road to ascension? Is this all an elaborate hoax by the Princess of Hell in a bid to sell us on her hotel? All valid questions in the wake of this news! But we here at Vox Media Productions have another to add to the list.”

The photo of Angel Dust was blown up, becoming footage, bleeding into clips from his more violent pornos. Husk doubted he had a heart anymore but something in his chest ached at the sight of a clear downward spiral. He used to watch Angel like this and tell himself he didn’t care, that the kid was none of his concern, an afterlife imploding to the same tune he’d heard a thousand times, living and dead. 

But he was long past lying to himself. Now he had no shield against the pain of watching the man he loved drown in front of him, knowing there was a version of himself just in the wings, too damn stubborn and too damn drunk to help him. 

“The well known sinner at the center of this shocking story is no stranger to scandal, though he’s far more used to making a profit from it. Angel Dust, star of many award winning pornographic films, is the supposed father-to-be but close, personal friends of the spider himself have raised their concerns.”

Husk could feel the growl running between his teeth like an electric current. He could take a guess at just who’d fed them this story. 

“Sinners, ask yourselves, is this really the person who should be in charge of Hell’s very first children? A known drug addict who makes his living from indecency? And, according to insider reports from Porn Studios, an unreliable, temperamental, unstable individual? There have been a lot of very worrying leaks about his on set behavior and, while we were all willing to turn a blind eye before, there are now young lives at stake. Can we really allow this to continue? Vox Media certainly doesn’t think so.”

A dagger flashed out and crashed through the screen, turning the chatter and flashing images into gurgling pops of static and then silence. Vaggie wrenched her weapon free, eyes flaring enough to burn holes in the wall. 

“Someone needs to crush that fucking bug,” she spat, “Pin him to a goddamn corkboard.”

“They said it’s their top story, they must have been talking about it all day…” Charlie flickered between forms, horns phasing in and out, tears welling in her eyes, “Angel must have seen it…”

“We knew Valentino would throw a bitch fit over you keeping the kids out of his hands,” Vaggie spun the dagger between her fingers like there might still be something to throw it at, “But getting Vox to do his dirty work? Fucking coward…”

“They can’t…they can’t actually take the babies from him right? Right?” Charlie shook herself, hands twisting in her hair, “No, no, of course not. Because we’ll do something about it! I’ll…I’ll get them to interview me! We’ll run our own piece! Start our own news station?”

“I’m going to talk to him.”

Husk’s voice, oddly calm and empty of anger, brought his friends up short, stalling their fury and their panic. He wrenched his claws out of the furrows he’d dug in the back of the sofa, keeping his breathing steady and even as he took the stairs two at a time. 

The more demonic part of him wanted to howl and break things, smash glass and break his claws against the wall. The part of him that had once been an Overlord wanted to track down Valentino and tear the wings off his back, grind him into the ground until he was as small as he’d ever made Angel feel. The human part of him wanted to find the nearest bottle and drain it dry, rob himself of all feeling, blunt the edges of this pain until he didn’t have to deal with it at all. 

But Husk ignored all of them. It took a moment but he managed it eventually, shoving them into the back of his mind where they couldn’t take control of his limbs. There was only one thing that he could let matter right now. 

Angel Dust wasn’t the only one who was struggling with the change in their afterlives.

The bedroom behind the door was still his own, technically, but he hadn’t thought of it that way in a while. They hadn’t been an item long before pink started bleeding into the otherwise lifeless space, bright clothes actually making use of the wardrobe, make-up left scattered in front of the mirror, Fat Nuggets snoring on Husk’s side of the bed more often than not. Angel Dust still had his room down the hall, Husk knew he got a lot of reassurance out of having his own space (and he had a lot more shit) but his paws brought him here first. 

He knocked lightly, pressing his forehead to the door, “Angel? Baby, it’s me.”

There was a very deliberate pause where Husk knew there was a good chance he’d be told to fuck off, a static weight where lightning might strike or it might not. He held his breath, tail whipping anxiously, not praying, he wasn’t fool enough for that, but hoping pretty damn hard. 

Eventually, he heard a soft murmur, the sound of fabric moving, “M’here.”

He took that as permission to gently ease the heavy door open. Their room was dark, almost completely, apart from the sickly blue light flooding out of the phone in Angel’s hands. The spider demon was slumped on the bed, angular limbs folded in like someone had taken a rolled up newspaper to him, the only part of him that moved was the thumb scrolling endlessly through some newsfeed. Husk could hear tinny versions of Angel’s exaggerated moans and squeals from any number of pornos, interspersed with canned commentary from the 666 News broadcast. It seemed like Vox wasn’t the only Vee helping Valentino play dirty. 

Husk sighed, closing the door behind him and gently clambering onto the bed, though he gave Angel plenty of room, “Baby, maybe you should stop listening to that…”

Angel’s voice was thin and rough, like it had come through a belt sander, “He’s sending me them. Val. Making sure I don’t miss any.”

Husk swallowed back acidic anger, “Block him. You can put it down, Angel, it’s okay…” 

“Used to tell yourself that at the roulette table, huh? Just put it down?” Angel flashed him a bitter look. 

Husk couldn’t help it, he flinched. Immediately his boyfriend’s anger cracked and collapsed, horror and shame underneath. The phone slipped from his fingers, landing face down and dropping them into darkness. But the pentagram moon showed Husk more than enough, the tears bleeding down Angel’s face, his mouth twisted miserably as it swallowed him under. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

Husk sighed, holding out his hands, “I know you didn’t, baby, I know. Look, can I touch you? That okay?”

Angel’s two sets of arms seemed to be in disagreement. One set trembled closer to Husk’s, the other hovered over the phone, both pulling against the other and both terrified. Husk found himself doing it again, that thing that wasn’t praying, harder than he’d done over any green-felted table. 

The stalemate finally broke and, thank fuck, Husk was the winner. Angel Dust crashed into him with more force than you’d ever think was in that skinny body, clutching him tight enough to hurt, not that Husk could find it in him to care. He felt warm tears soak the fur at the curve of his neck, welcomed them, brought his wings around to shelter the two of them, purred loud and unashamedly, rocked him the way he’d never been rocked himself but it felt right. 

“I don’t get it,” the words came waterlogged and painful, “I didn’t ask for them. I didn’t ask for these kids but I’m doing my fucking best and now I have them, all everyone wants to do is take them away from me.”

For a moment, Husk was envious of his lover, two arms didn’t feel like enough to hold him, how was he supposed to compete when the hurt was this big?

“I know,” he rubbed his cheek against Angel’s hair, forgetting to be self conscious of his feline instincts, “It ain’t fair, baby. And…and I need you to know…if it’s too much, if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. You have a choice.”

Angel’s breath shuddered, two hands winding from around Husk’s middle, slipping down. He couldn’t see them but he knew where they were going, his own paws met them there. Demons glancing at him in the street would have no idea- well, they would now thanks to the fucking Vees- but Husk spent a good amount of his time staring at Angel Dust. He saw the gentle slope in his stomach, he knew where to press to feel it through the oversized sweatshirt he wore. He threaded his fingers through Angel’s so the two of them cradled it together, this little impossibility, this spark that had fallen through the cracks and somehow landed here in their afterlives. 

“I wanna do it,” Angel Dust rasped, “I know it’s dumb and selfish but I can’t help it. I got ditched by my family and this…they feel like a second chance. And I know I don’t deserve it but I can’t let go.”

Husk shook his head gently, shifting so he could rest his forehead against Angel’s, “Listen to me. I don’t know why this happened, I don’t know what asshole is up there above Heaven and Hell and all this mess deciding whose a sinner and whose a saint, whose spunk gets to work and whose don’t. I don’t know why these kids are here but I know there’s only one explanation that makes sense to me.” 

Angel sniffled softly, still looking down at their joined hands, “What?”

“You,” Husk breathed, running his thumb over that little knot low inside his lover, “You’re the only person I can think of, in heaven or hell or wherever the fuck else, who’s strong enough to do this. You’ve fought harder than anyone I know to be better than you were. And you’ll keep fighting for our kids, even when assholes like that bitch Val keep throwing punches. I think they’re here because you deserve that second chance, Angel.”

His slitted eyes had adjusted to the darkness, rewarding him with the sight of a small, trembling smile on Angel’s face. 

“Well…that means you do too, right?” he whispered. 

Husk chuckled softly, “Hell, I already knew I was on the path to redemption. I got you, didn’t I? Must be halfway to a fucking saint.”

Angel’s laugh was a shaky, broken thing but it was the sweetest sound Husk had heard in a long time, a prize he could never have imagined winning. To be trusted so much by someone who, by rights, should never have trusted anyone again, he wouldn’t have traded anything for that. 

Angel reached down, fumbling around in the blankets until he found his phone. He held the power button down until the screen went fully dark then tossed it over his shoulder, letting it land in some of the clothes scattered on the floor. He seemed to breathe a little easier after, glowing at the proud grin Husk gave him. 

“I love you, baby,” the words still left him quietly, like he was still unsure saying them, they were a trick he hadn’t mastered yet and was terrified to fumble, “You know that, right?”

Angel nods, plucking those words out of the air and clutching them so tight they were tattooed on his palm, “So you keep saying, Whiskers. Though I could stand to hear it a few more times…and I love you too. A whole fucking lot…” his eyes slid over his shoulder where he’d tossed the phone and it’s poisonous chatter,  “Enough that it drowns out all that bullshit on most days.”

Husk laid a paw against his cheek, brushing away the tear tracks on his face, “And on the days it doesn't, I’m right here. And soon we’ll have two little brats running around, I hear they’re pretty loud.”

Angel let Husk tumble him gently sideways, their bodies finding a way to comfortably fit together in their nest of blankets, “Not soon enough if you ask me. I could have been just enough of a spider to lay eggs and save myself the hassle but nah, I had to go and fall in love with a mammal…”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Husk smiled crookedly, purring so Angel would feel it as he pillowed his head on his chest, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Too fucking right you will,” Angel’s gold tooth flashed as he yawned, the sadness draining away and leaving him empty, “Over and over again, in a wide variety of different positions…”

Husk could feel Angel Dust still shaking, even after he drifted asleep. It wasn’t the end of it, he knew that the tide had just gone out. The next months weren’t going to be easy and hell only knew what would happen after that. He’d certainly had better odds in his time. 

But Husk knew one thing for certain. He was all in.