#that ship will always exist in the background in one way or another

[logosbot-tm]

* touches ground*

Nature wives...

Roseblings...

I miss you

[heartpiratedrabbles]

His Hat

Prompt: Courtesy of @tsunderedonut: Imagine Law putting his hat on his shy, vulnerable S/O that's riding him for the first time.

NSFW

Trafalgar Law X Reader

You have confidence. You’re courageous. You weren’t self-conscience at all. When it came to your job. Being a mechanic for the Polar Tang was like a dream job for you. You stayed in the boiler room watching levels go up and down and you knew exactly how to fix any leaks or breaks that came about. You were ecstatic when the Surgeon of Death came to your shore so long-ago needing repairs and just so happened to see you’re value onboard the ship after fixing everything, eagerly packing your bags to join the crew.

           You were not, however, prepared for love. Despite being on the world for over 2 decades, you had only gone on one hap-hazard date that your friend had set you up on, and needless to say it ended up awful. The man flirted with your roommate right in front of you, and despite your naivety, even you knew what he was doing. Plus, with a few undesirable stalkers here and there, you decided dating wasn’t for you. And so, your short, non-existing love life had come to an end.

         That is until you joined the Heart Pirates. After getting to know everyone on board you realized your feelings for your captain burned like a wild fire. It was dangerous and weird, being completely new territory compared to what you have felt before. At first you had thought it was some ship-madness, you were warned by your captain/doctor when you arrived that it could take a while to get use to life on a submarine, even more so when they rarely surfaced. But as you went about your duties and getting to know the crew, you realized that your heart never beat that fast around the others, even so you tried to deny such feelings.

         You got close to Penguin as he often came to the boiler room for menial tasks and found more out about, your captain. Despite his cold, non-caring demeanor, he always made sure everyone was alright. And although he didn’t show it, he did enjoy the antics played by the crew. Although he demanded his alone time, he was just as often to be found in the rec-room watching as others drank or played a game. Penguin also clued you in that once a month Law joined in on any game of the crews picking to stay connected.

         And it wasn’t until you were drinking alongside Penguin, that he confronted you, “So you like Law huh?” He chattered out after taking a swig of his glass. You choked on what you were drinking, nearly spitting it out at his words, your face turning the brightest shade of red he had ever seen. “Jeez, blush any harder and the rest of your body won’t have any blood,” He had laughed out at your reaction.

         “What?!?” You practically yelled at him, you felt your body stiffen at the thought and you could hear Shachi in the background ask if Penguin was bullying you. “I don’t like anyone. Never have,” You tried to reason taking the last swig of your drink, you didn’t know the feelings of love. The uncomfortable, painful feelings of unrequited love that made you dumb in the mind and weak in your knees, stomach slightly queasy at the thought of someone.

         “Please, you only pay attention to my ramblings when I’m talking about him. No need to be shy Y/N,” Penguin grinned out before reaching over to fill your glass up again, “Just relax. Feelings aren’t going to hurt you.” You looked around to see if anyone else was listening in but other than Shachi glancing at you two from across the room, everyone else seemed occupied.

         The thought of sharing your life with someone, with Law of all people, everything from the simple hand holding to the fantasies of sharing a bed, going on small dates and being marked in one way or another. You shake your head violently to get rid of such things before downing your entire glass. “There’s no way Penguin.” You squeaked out not making eye contact with him.

         “Denile will get you no where Y/N. Just accept it, I didn’t realize you were such a virgin when it came to matters of the heart,” He laughed at your misery, and how your eyes fixed on a portion of the table in front of you.

         “I don’t have feelings Penguin! Feelings are messy squishy things that don’t make sense. I’m not stupid enough to let something I can’t control distract me from my life,” You pipe out quickly, grabbing the bottle from the man’s hands to take another swig. He smirked at you, unconvinced of your words, “Just because I sometimes think about him doesn’t mean anything!” You immediately stop, eyes wide as you look at Penguin, whose smirk has turned into a full toothed grin.

         “You’re right! Feelings don’t make sense. But you can’t stop them from happening,” He gleefully said, “Excuse me one second.” You watch as he stood up, “You owe me 20 Berries Shachi!” He yelled across the room while walking over to the grumbling crewmember.

         You slam your head against the table with a ‘thud’. Feelings. Sure, you imagined how it would feel like to have the captain by your side, to be able to capture his eyes and keep him for yourself. You held your breathe at such thoughts, that could never happen. Hiding your face in your arms, you heard Penguin return to his seat but you couldn’t look at him.

         Over the next couple of weeks, the pair would make quips and remarks of your crush if you were alone with them, instantly making you freeze like an ice cube. The prodding from them had made your feelings all the more evident to yourself and it had made it harder and harder to bury such fuzzy emotions. You weren’t the most social of person, but now you found it harder than ever to talk to anyone, the embarrassment and fear of them finding out about your unrequited feelings being too much for you to bear. The only time you’d be able to speak confidently is if it was about work, it was easy to avoid emotions when you had to think in facts and bury them with work.

         That is, until you noticed a particularly important part starting to show signs of breaking. Best to take care of it now than be in trouble later, you headed to your Captains office for approval to buy the new part. He hadn’t been expecting you but happily let you into his quiet office. You stood in front of his desk explaining the issue and how it’d be better to replace it now and he seemed to agree.

         But as you turned to leave, he called out, “Y/N-ya,” you stopped in your tracks. Had one of your maintenance reports not been up to par? You’re back still turned to him your mind was reeling at what you could have messed up but you were certain there was no way you would turn in half-assed work. And then, your mind suddenly stopped. Realizing where you were, who you were talking to. Your heart beating faster, cheeks turning slightly red. “I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding me recently,” Law’s voice rang out in the room, his smooth deep voice, addressing you and not something to do with your job. “Did I do something wrong?”

         You pick your head up slightly at the last sentence, snapping around to face him head on, frantically trying to reassure that it has nothing to do with him, “I just haven’t been feeling well-“ You quickly pipe out not thinking of anything else as you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

         Law perks up at your sudden excuse, immediately standing up, taking long strides to get to you quickly. A hand immediately going to your forehead, freezing at the sudden contact you feel your cheeks burn up, “You do seem to have a fever,” He muttered to himself before activating his powers to transport the both of you to the med bay. “Sit down real quick,” He demanded as he went to grab a stethoscope.

         It was hard to breathe. Here you were with a stupid school-girl crush, making your Captain worried over nothing. Yet you couldn’t quite seem to find the right words, trying to push off your illness as a quick thing that’d be gone soon. But Law would hear none of it. Quickly he listened to your heart, asking you to breathe in and out as you whine out that it’s truly nothing. It’s not until he places a hand on your back to keep you from shying away that he realized your heart beating faster at his own touch.

         He quickly glanced up at your face, that you were desperately trying to hide from him by staring at the far corner away from him. “Are you truly unwell Y/N-ya?” He firmly asked, demanding a truthful answer.

         And just like that your Captain found out your feelings for him. You rushed to your room the second you felt his touch leave you to ignore the rejection you refused to hear. And it wasn’t until the next day that Law had come to find you of his own accord, asking you out on a date the next time they reached land.

~~~

         That was months ago, 6 months to be precise. And ever since you had been dating the man in front of you. You still couldn’t believe it, it felt unreal. “It seems like your mind is elsewhere love,” He leaned up to give you a peck on the lips, gently taking your hands in his.

         You had decided to try and be forward yourself this time round, and couldn’t help but feeling like backing out now. You had certainly had sex before but it was never like this, not when the lights were still on, not when you could see his reactions. The simple fact sending your head reeling at how hot Law was underneath you.

         You had lured him back to his room, claiming you needed to talk to him. You had been slightly jealous of how he was talking to a bar maiden on land and immediately confronted him, only now losing your nerve. The second he stepped into the room you had slammed the door shut and pushed him on the bed, straddling him before you were going to ride him. But the second you got on top of him your mind started working again. This was also the first time you were truly on top of him, looking down at him, seeing how he stared back up at you with heat in his eyes. You cheeks become more red as you avoid his gaze.

         “What were you going to do now that we’re alone?” Law smirks while looking at you, no doubt enjoying how flustered you looked. He gripped your hips before jutting his own up into you. You fall forward, the movement snapping you out of your daze.

         “I. I was,” You try to stutter out as he lifts your shirt up, and you let him rip it off you, his eyes staring right into you. You look down slightly, still avoiding eye contact, “I was gonna remind you that your mine.” You whisper, embarrassed at the thought now.

         Law gleefully shifts, taking off his own shirt in the process, “And how were you going to do that?” He urges you to continue. Law enjoyed watching how flustered you could get, despite dating for a decent amount of time you still couldn’t control yourself in situations where he’s giving you all his attention. Looking down at him, you quickly cover his eyes with one of your hands.

         “No looking,” You whine out as you start to get off him, “You have to give me a second.” Law chuckles a bit but goes to move his hat, which had fallen a couple inches away when you pushed him, over his eyes, assuring you he won’t take a peek. After a quick second of making sure he can’t see you, you stand up fully.

         You look at the man in front of you before turning around, taking off your pants quickly, glancing over your shoulder just to be sure. Law decides humming will distract him in this situation. Frustrated at your playful boyfriend, you get to work on his pants, him lifting his hips slightly to help you undress him. His cock springing up as you release it from its cloth prison.

         Law lets you widen his legs as you kneel between them, stopping just inches away from his dick. You see movement from the corner of your eye and snap your head back up, “No peeking!” You yell out more embarrassed at your own actions than anything else. Law puts his arm back down, deciding to keep quiet for the time being.

         You take one more deep breath before you wrap your lips around him. Slowly bobbing your head up and down, covering his member in saliva. The salty taste of his precum making you go insane with desire. Your slow pacing doesn’t seem up to Law’s standards as he bucks his hips forward, making you gag in the process. You place both your hands on his hips to try and control your boyfriend, and while he didn’t stop entirely from pumping his hips towards your head, he was a little gentler.

         “Fuck Y/N-ya,” Law groaned out when you sat up, leaving his cock wanting for more. You looked up to make sure he still couldn’t see you and sighed when you saw the hat still in place. Readjusting yourself to now be sitting on him again you could hear him take a sharp breath. His throbbing cock in one hand, aiming it towards your entrance as you sink down on him slowly. It felt completely different than normal. You were in control, and every inch was touching you in places you didn’t think was possible. The pleasure already overwhelming.

         You try to hold in your own moan as you sink lower, feeling impossibly full as he bottoms out in you. You sit there for a second, hands on Law’s abs to steady yourself, holding your breath at this new pleasure you’ve discovered before grinding your hips, feeling him deep inside you. You finally remember to breathe after Law decides to thrust up into you, falling forward on his chest as he wraps his arms around you, pinning you to him. You gasp for air, moaning his name as he sets a brutal pace.

         “L-Law,” You moan out in frustration and you look up to see him shift his head to peek out from under the hat, with an absolutely devilish grin on his face.

He places a kiss on your forehead, “Yes love?” He thrusts into you again and you wiggle one of your arms free, prying yourself out of his arms to sit back up. Only to be met with another wave of pleasure at the different angle. You mind becoming empty of most thoughts as you hear the man below you chuckle. He reaches up taking his hat and placing it on your head, caressing your body before landing both his hands on your hips. You gasp a bit as he holds you down slightly, feeling him twitching inside you.

With some encouragement from his large hands, you start to ride Law like there’s no tomorrow. Barely being able to breathe yourself as he hits every sensitive part of you. Every now and then stopping to feel how full you feel with him in you. Tears brimming your eyes as your mind is flooded with pleasure and lust.

Laws eyes devour you, savoring every inch as he watches you bounce on him. Your head lulled back and forth; mouth hung open as you scream his name. His hat would be covering your eyes if you hadn’t been continuously pushing it up before going back to steadying yourself on him. The sight before him being a drug he never knew he was addicted too until you had come around. He feels you twitch around him and he stops his own thrusts, gripping your hips to stop you from moving any further.

“Law!” you scream out at the lack of movement, grinding your hips for any friction. He smirks up at you, not responding, watching as you desperately try to bounce despite not being able too. Law slowly raises his hips, holding your hips in the same spot, reaching deeper than before and it begins to feel like it too much. You cry trying to squirm, move, anything to help relieve the pressure that was making you insane. “Please Law,” you beg him to do something.

You can barely see his face underneath you, the hat falling over your eyes, but you’re certain Law has a smirk on his face as he ignores your pleads. Gasping for air you finally fall forward, gripping your boyfriends’ shoulders, “It’s too much- Please Law,” You beg into his chest trying to move even an inch over feeling how deep he is. How you can still feel him twitch slightly inside of you at every moan and plead. Making your mind numb from the overwhelming pleasure and pressure building up.

After a quick second, Law lifts your chin with one of his hands, the other still firmly planted on your hip, “You’re adorable Y/N-ya.” Law whispers it while staring right into your tear stained eyes, kissing you gently before suddenly flipping you over so that you are now on your back. How he stayed inside of you was a mystery but the feeling drove you insane as he hooking both your legs over his shoulders, pounding into you fast and hard.

You try to grip the bed underneath you to stabilize yourself before you looked up to see how Law was looking at you. The insatiable devil in front of you looking directly at all the faces you made as you continued to moan his name. The realization of what he was doing, angling every now and then and licking his lips as you twisted about, he loved watching you. You quickly grab the brim of his hat, pulling it over your face to avoid his gaze.

This brought about 2 different things in this intense moment. One was the immense and heavenly smell of Law’s hair, the shampoo he used that drove you crazy while you played with his hair, and the second being Law leaning forward, your legs still hooked over his shoulders as he continued to ruin you. Crying out as he stole your lips, shoving his tongue into your mouth while adjusting his hat to be properly on your head. “Don’t hide from me,” He growled out in desire before recapturing your lips.

You move your hands to wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss while one hand rakes its way through his hair and the other digging your nails into his back. You could feel your orgasm approaching quickly and you tugged at his hair to release your lips, “Law please. I want you to cum~”  

He leans down to leave marks on your neck as you scream out his name, “Are you ready?” He asks one last time into your ears and you can barely reply to him as pleasure is overfilling you. Law quickly following suit, slowing down only after you felt him fill you. The both of you stay there for a second, catching your breaths.

Law’s the first one to move, slowly pulling out and gently putting your legs down, knowing how they were numb at this point. You groan at soreness from being empty but can feel his seed slipping out of you. “This is dangerous,” Law smiles at you from his standing position as you stare at him, still on cloud nine.

“What is?” You mutter out, looking at him from half-lidded eyes.

He leans down close to you, giving a gentle kiss before peppering them down your neck to your collarbone, “You only wearing my hat. It’s absolutely hypnotic.” He breathes into your neck with lust still in his voice.

[some-pers0n]

I'm gonna be blunt and say that I really don't think a lot of people kinda get these two characters. Sure, yeah, there'll be people like "Psshh no?? Me?? I know exactly who these guys are" and like, yeah maybe you do. Maybe you'll read this while nodding your head and whatnot. Maybe you won't.

Either way, I think there's a decent amount of people who don't...get Qibli and Winter. I mainly see it in shipping stuff. I know it's kinda idiotic to go looking for character stuff in shipping-- you know what?? No. I think it's perfectly sound logic to try and look for meaningful character writing in ship stuff, especially with fanfics. I've got that aroace mindset where I can only comprehend a ship if it has a clear and exact thematical and character-driven purpose.

Anywho, I think there's something to be craved with how Qinter is talked about in the fandom. I think there's something in general to be desired when discussing Qibli and Winter in general (or, hell, most of the characters) or other ships they're in, but I want to discuss Qinter mainly as a means to view them through the lens of a relationship. Some sort of duo and pair. Two young dragonets trying to survive.

Winter and Qibli come from incredibly similar backgrounds. That sounds ridiculous at a first glance, but when you think about it, they do. They both were raised with terrible parents who held them to an unrealistic standard that neither really wanted to be.

Winter was forced to become a child soldier and be the best of the best, despite his best rightfully not being absolutely perfect and having a ton of heart and soul in him. Ironically enough, his sheer loyalty to his friends that he displays later would be commended in the IceWing army, but is only looked down upon because he's showing anything other than pure apathy at existence and disgust when confronted with the other tribes. Winter is a kind soul who was shaped and twisted into becoming somebody far meaner to fit the idea of what his parents wanted him to be. It's a mask he wears to fit in. To be at least be tolerated by the dragons he only wants the approval from.

Qibli was raised in the slums of Scorpion Den. The back alleys and dark, seedy streets that are avoided. He had to fit the build of a thief. A petty pickpocket that lurks around like his family, doing nothing more than swiping whatever goods they could get their hands on. Qibli was kind and sweet, which obviously was a terrible sin in the eyes of his family. Like Winter, this planted a seed of wanting to be loved, although to a significantly larger extent than Winter felt. Qibli became obsessed with the idea of being loved as he hated being seen as nothing. He wanted nothing more than to be praised and admired because of just how neglected he was. So, he pretends to be somebody likable. Somebody who others care about. A mask to conceal the dragon he feels can never be loved.

Because of their backgrounds, they feel at odds when they're introduced to one another. Qibli is the laid-back jokester type while Winter is snarly and angry. Thanks to Moon's powers though, we get a look into them even before their book.

We see that Qibli is paranoid and his brain is constantly trying to predict others. He's always in a state of stress and fear, putting on a performance to try and be liked and see which dragons are the biggest threats to him. He's never gotten used to living outside of the crime-filled Scorpion Den, and the memories of childhood where he had to lay awake thinking that some dragon who his mother stole from will murder them all in their sleep remain. He's scared and afraid.

Winter managed to convince himself that he is this mean and nasty dragon, but really he's not. There's moments of hesitancy in MR from him. He's also just. generally not really that much in the wrong in the book. Sorry my Winter Apologist side is coming out but y'all hate too much on a character who was just kinda mean for some random dragon he only knew for a couple days at most by then doing stuff that was very suspicious. Yeah obviously Moon is the protagonist and we like her and know the full context, but Winter?? He doesn't know anything!

I digress however. They're in. not the best of states. Sure, yeah, Qibli had ran from Vulture and Cobra and was now Thorn's adoptive son of sorts, but he was obsessed with Thorn to the point of almost blind worship. He hailed her as some grand dragon because he had never been loved before. Being loved by somebody felt incomprehensible. He wants to repay it since he feels like he doesn't deserve it.

Winter on the other hand has just gotten away from a terrible situation, where his family more or less just hates him. They hate him so much it's not even funny. Winter had gotten Hailstorm, somebody who Winter loved and admired, was stolen away by the SkyWings and presumed dead for years because of him. He blames himself. He constantly thinks that he should've been the one taken away instead. He doesn't see himself worthy to live, especially not compared to Hailstorm. Hailstorm is charming, smart, strong, and better in every capacity to Winter. How could he ever live up to that?

Their shared flaw is that they feel inadequate. They feel as though there's something inherently flawed with themselves, something that they need to hide away. It was shaped because of their similar backstories, where they were neglected and abused and put down because of them never being able to meet the unreasonable expectations placed on them. Because of this trauma, their personalities in the present are shaped to try and fit in.

It's only by being with the Jade Winglet do they begin to unlearn those habits. I would imagine that, in moments where they chat with each other for the first real time (not fighting or anything), they...notice how alike they are. Like holding up a mirror to themselves. Despite how differing their personalities are, they feel one in the same. The other side of the coin.

It's why I think Qinter really works as something more than a cheap means for comedic relief. They bounce off each other really well and in an interesting way, which makes for their interactions feeling a lot more meaningful when they put away the act and show and are genuine. I honestly think that they would want to help each other out. They see themselves in the other and don't want them to feel like they have to do this, but they can't even save themselves.

It's only with time however. Healing is a process. It's sure as hell hard to do it all alone. It's why I love a lot the themes of friendship and togetherness in arc 2 especially. All of the POVs learn how to be more confident and sure of themselves through their friends. I just wish that Qinter was talked about in a more intellectually stimulating way than "yellow boy laughs at blue boy for being angsty teen"

[thefaithfulnightwriter]

𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 ~ Chapter Two

Summary - 𝙄𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 Azriel's mate is banished to another world by Amarantha. To a world she never knew existed. To a different world called Zenithara. She finds herself being stuck in Zenithara for many years. And as more time passes it leads her to giving up hope to ever get back to her family, her mate. It changes her living in such a world. She never once felt safe in Zenithara. But one day when she is given a mask. She finds herself feeling safe and concealed from the world. It gave her a sense of strength and power. Which leads her to persevere in the new world she was in.

But what will happen when she finds herself being sent back to her old world Prythian, to her home in Velaris? What will happen when she is finally reunited with her family… her mate?

Pairing - Azriel x Female!Oc

Universe - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Warnings -  Characters may be a bit OOC, Mature Themes, Gore, Death, Semi Smut, Violence, Language, Weapons, Mention of Past Abuse, Mention of War, Things Will Be Changed, Fluff, Angst, Some Sensitive Subjects, Mating Bonds, Scars, Experimentation, More Will Be Added If Needed.

Disclaimer - I do not own the series ACOTAR. I do own certain characters, and I own my mc. I do own somethings that are made up. I also got some inspiration from some movies and tv shows. So if you see anything familiar.  But i own my writing and whatnot you get where im going and what i am saying lol.

Author's Note - i really hope you like this fic. i gotta say this fic is very challenging for me because of the world building around it and what not. but i do love it. i hope you guys do too. that is all i can think to say lol.

─── Zenithara ───

─── G.H.O.S.T Ship ───

Anna was now sitting on a carrier ship that was going back to Sky City. Her team, Alpha team who were mainly led by Evan, surrounded her. Very soft music was playing in the background. To try and keep everyone calm. But also not loud so everyone could stay alert. 

But the main thing she heard was soft talking between teammates and clicking of weapons. All were making sure their weapons were charged and loaded. Making sure they were all in the right holsters and secured. 

Even after the team successfully retained the load of many innocent people that were kidnapped from Sector One, and were on their way to the Arena. The Arena now resorting to kidnapping people for the Killer games. Being that they were losing people from the Abyss. Well more so the Arena. Being that the justice system was moving and placing criminals elsewhere. Not wanting the Arena or Killer games to continue. Which led G.H.O.S.T. to have to step in and save the people they can. 

Right now though Anna’s team was still on guard. Because the mission wasn't over just yet. They still needed to get these people safely back to Sky City. So they could get checked more thoroughly for injuries, and so they could give the justice system their statements on what happened to them. 

The people they had saved were currently in med bay. People from Beta team trying to keep them calm, and helping them with any injuries they could. Along with the team mates who had been injured during the mission.

At the moment Anna was observing her surroundings with her now glowing gold eyes. Now being able to see clearly without her glasses, as she used one of her abilities. Her ability of enhanced eyesight. Which when she used such eyesight her eyes always glowed a golden color. 

Right now she was watching everything around her on the ship. From behind her mainly golden, black, porcelain colored mask. That covered her whole face. The only thing that could be seen were her eyes. Other than that you couldn't see her face, nothing. Only her eyes. 

In Anna's eyes it was a beautiful mask. It was gifted to her by Katrina many years ago when she was still in the Arena. A mask that was very precious to Anna. A mask that she took care of and kept in immaculate shape.  

The top had golden and black intricate patterns that flared up slightly at the crown of her head. With amber and golden jewels that dangled on the side. Then at the middle of her head of the mask was an amber jewel. 

The golden and black detailed patterns that went from the top of her head then curved under her eyes and over her nose. Around her eyes were black, the only thing that was seen were her eyes. The lower half of her face was covered by porcelain with a pair of golden lips painted on it. 

Then around her neck was covered by black cover that had a few golden chains. It held up the mask and some mechanics that were connected to her mask. Her being the only one who knew how to use it. Knowing all the ins and outs of the mask. Having it for many years now.   

The mask was one of Anna's prize possessions. Having her mask on was also one of the things she used to cope with everything. Her mask gave her a sense of safety and power. It concealed her from the world. Giving her the strength to persevere in Zenithara. 

But most of all it kept her hidden. It hid who she was, hid her scars, her emotions, it hid Anna. 

Which was something she loved. She loved to stay hidden. Anna seemed to love it so much that she wore her mask whenever she was around people. The only time she had it off was around Evan and his father. But sometimes it was still hard for her to take it off. The two though knew how to coax it off her and make her feel safe. They were the only two who could. 

Though when Anna was alone. Mainly in one of her homes in the three Sectors or her own room, that was the only time she had the mask off. Not feeling safe but somewhat comfortable. It was when she swapped her mask for her glasses. Letting her eyes settle to their normal dark brown. But that rarely happened.   

She was accustomed to having her golden gleaming eyes on display. She was accustomed to seeing everything in a more intense and enhanced way. 

Though she had her glasses it couldn't compare to having her enhanced sight. And without either she was just blind. Only being able to see a meter in front of her. Which she didn’t like. It made her feel vulnerable, and she couldn’t stand that feeling. That was why she used her enhanced sight so much, most of the time. 

But also with that she always has an ear out for anything as well. Having trained her hearing just as much as her eyesight. So, if anything happened she would be prepared in any way. It wasn't really hard with her being a high fae. 

Though at one point her pointed ears caused her trouble while in the Arena. Doctors became more curious than ever over her, and wanted to experiment on her when they found her in the Arena. More than any other subject they had. They wanted to find out everything about her, and enhance everything. One of the things it led to was having a piece of her ears cut off. Leaving on the outer shell of her pointed ear to have a crescent type shape cut out.  

Even after that inncident she stayed strong, it was hard but she kept going. It didn't deter her. But it did lead to her wanting to train her hearing to be sharper. Just as sharp as her heightened eyesight, when her eyes were glowing. So she could rely on her hearing if anything. Having done such a thing though caused her to have an advantage. With her eyesight and hearing. But also caused her to see and hear the world in a different way. 

Just like now. Looking around once again she took everything in. The walls of the ship, the bags, the weapons, and the people talking and whispering. Who were her teammates. There were many who she noticed and recognized but few she didn't. 

It caused her to sigh and lean further back into her seat. As she stayed to herself. She didn't want to interact nor be near anyone. Anna just wanted to get this mission over with and help where she could. Then go home. Maybe have a drink then escape into her art work. 

When she wasn't on missions she was working on her art. It was another thing she used to cope. Through her art she brought Prythian her old world to Zenithara. She had walls upon walls covered with paintings of her old world, her old life. They were in all three of her houses. 

Her favorite house was in Sector Two, Middle ground. She had dedicated the house to everything Night Court, or Velaris. Middle Ground gave her the most inspiration. Reminding her the most of her home Velaris somewhat.

In her house that was in Middle Ground there were murals all over. They were mainly paintings of places in Velaris. Like the mountains that surrounded Velaris, the stars, the House of Wind, the Rainbow, Rita's, and more. But there were also paintings of her family. One wall was dedicated to them. Cassian, Rhysand, Amren, and Morrigan. 

Then there was a wall dedicated to one more person, a male. A male that she missed so much. That had a piece of her heart. A piece of her soul. A piece of her that she would never get back. He was someone she desperately wanted to not forget. He was someone so important to her. He was her mate... Azriel. 

Over time, over the past fifty something years Anna has forgotten some of her old life, her old world. That was one of the reasons she drew and painted so much, it was so she wouldn't forget. Anna wouldn't say she had the most excellent memory. But she could remember some things. But the one thing or person she remembered the most about was Azriel. 

Though there were things she had forgotten like his voice, his scent, the way his touch felt. It caused Anna to cry for days when she realized she had forgotten such things. But the things she could remember out weighted the things she couldn't. She believed it was because she drew him so many times over the years. It was so she could remember and keep the memories alive. To keep his memory alive and with her. 

She could mostly remember what he looked like. Things like his tan skin that seemed to glow under the sun. His beautiful large strong black wings upon his back that he would use to fly.  His clever shadows that wisped around him. His ebony hair that fell over his eyes. And his eyes. 

His beautiful hazel eyes that could show nothing one moment, then another moment be filled with such raw emotions. He could take her breath away with one look. Anna missed those looks. She missed his intense hazel eyes on her. Anna missed Azriel so much. At times she found herself missing him the most.

A sad sigh escaped her lips. As her head and shoulders fell and her eyes closed. As she remembered Azriel. It took everything in Anna to not let her tears fall. To not let her emotions go everywhere and let her powers out. Being they were connected to her emotions. 

It took a lot out of Anna this time to steel herself. And Anna noticed it. She noticed that it was becoming harder for her to keep doing such a thing. Because lately Anna... she was tired. 

Anna was tired of hiding. She was tired of fighting. She was tired of losing people. She was tired of feeling lost. She was tired of this world. She was tired of it all. But Anna knew she had to keep going. Because she knew that many people would want her to keep going. Azriel, her old family in Prythian, Katrina, Eva, her nephews. Anna knew she had to stay strong. 

Anna though didn't know how long she could go on. Because when it came down to it she was exhausted, lost, and alone. Yes, there were parts of Zenithara that were beautiful. And Anna may have or not seen them all. But if she was being honest with herself Anna just didn't care for Zenithara. Not as much as she cares for Prythian. Because even with more than half a century passing with her in this world Zenithara, she still felt so lost, and alone. 

Even with Evan and his father. Anna loved her nephews very much and they helped her. But there was only so much they could do. They had their own lives, and unfortunately they would never understand her. Not what she has been through. Not what she is or who she was. No one would understand. But she still loved them for helping her.

Anna was soon shaken from such thoughts when she heard Evan. Catching her attention. She was soon looking at him with her golden eyes. She found him kneeling in front of where she was sitting. His crystal eyes were on her and filled with worry. As he gently placed his fingerless gloved cover hands over hers. He was quick to hold them when she didn't pull away from him.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Evan whispered softly to her. So only she could hear what he was saying. Knowing she could hear him. He didn't want to draw any attention to them. Knowing Anna didn't like the attention on her. He also didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. So he took to speaking low to her, and tried to keep her attention on him. 

All Anna could do was take a deep breath and nod slightly. As she looked away from him. She didn't want to tell him her thoughts or problems. She didn't want to push her problems onto him. Nor did she want to burden him with her issues.    

"I find that hard to believe. You know you can talk to me right Auntie Goldie?" Evan sighed sadly. Hearing him caused Anna to nod her head again. Which led him to send her a small smile. He wanted her to talk to him but didn't want to push her. So, he did what he and his father do all the time. Let her know they were there for her no matter what. 

"Remember I'm always here for you Aunt Anna. No matter what you've got me. And you got dad too. I know it's hard and I don't know what you're going through. Just know you are not alone," he tried to soothe her. She was soon nodding her head as a sigh was heard from her. She then gently leant forward placing her head against his. She really appreciated Evan. He was so optimistic, kind, and caring. It made her smile. But her smile widened behind her mask even more hearing what he said next.

"After this mission, why don't I call up dad and all three of us can head to Middle Ground. We can meet at your place cause I know it's your favorite. Then you can tell us some stories or we can watch some movies or something. Have family time together. Just the three of us," Evan planned. He was soon chuckling with a wide smile. As he watched Anna nod quickly. She had  leaned back and clapped her hands together gently to show him her excitement. 

He knew that she was smiling by the look in her glowing eyes. That he's learned to read since he was young. He was happy to see she was excited for the plan, also happy he was able to lift her mood a bit. Nodding his head he agreed. Standing up he still had a hold of her gloved covered hand. He was then pulling her to help her get up from the seat. 

"Alright it's a plan. I'll call -," Evan started. But he was abruptly cut off. Because soon he and Anna were falling back into the seats. Being jostled by the carrier ship shaking. It was as if something had hit the ship. 

Which led everyone to be on guard and alert. Making themselves prepared for anything. Knowing it could be an attack. Evan was quick to grab the radio on his shoulder. Demanding the pilot to tell him what was going on. Asking if the ship was hit or if there was an attack.   

"No attack. It seems we have been hit by something, sir. But umm... there is something we think you should see. We're not sure what it is," The co-pilot stammered unsure and seemed to be a little scared. A sigh escaped Evan before he answered.

"Okay I'm on my way."

"Everyone calm down for now but be on alert. You coming Goldie?" Evan ordered the team. Which he received a nod from many. He was then turning to ask Anna. She was quick to nod and followed him to the cockpit. 

After a few minutes of walking they were in the control area. The pilot and co-pilot seemed to be whispering to each other. While one was pointing outside the window in front of them. It seemed they had stopped the carrier, keeping it hovering in place. Looking at each other Anna and Evan shrugged. 

"What are you pointing at? And why have we stopped? We're still on a mission. We have to get these people back to Sector One," Evan questioned the two with a sigh. As he rubbed his face and crossed his arms. 

He was starting to get frustrated because he wanted to get this mission done with. But he soon stopped when Anna placed a hand on his arm. Turning to her he was met with her golden eyes that were wide behind her mask. She was quick to point as she looked forward. 

Evan was quick to turn to see what she was looking at. All he saw was a bright light in the distance. It looked like a ball of light or an orb. He was then stepping forward with Anna. Both trying to get a closer look. More so Evan. The orb was just hovering there in the middle of the sky in front of the ship. It was as if it were waiting for something.     

"We don't know what it is or what to do. The reading signature from it is off the scale and unknown. And it seems every time we try to move it follows. The jostling you felt was us trying to move away from it. But it hit the ship. Then it started moving around us as if to observe us, to us it's like it's looking for something. We honestly don't know what to do," the pilot explained to Evan, not taking his eyes off the light. 

"Do you think it's something from the Arena?" Evan asked the two. As he leaned forward on the pilot seats. Trying to observe the orb of light. Anna was in a state of wonder as she looked at the orb. So much so she tilted her head in confusion.    

"Like I said sir we don't know what it is. The signature and energy coming off of it is off the scale and unknown. We tried to quickly go through the database, but still can't find a match. We wanted to know what you think we should do. Because it seems we can't move without it following or attacking. And I don't think you want that thing following us to our hidden headquarters. Nor attacking us," the pilot answered. Looking to Evan and Anna for the first time now. 

"Shit," Evan whispered angrily. As he threw his head back and closed his eyes thinking on what to do. Nothing like this has ever happened before. So he was clueless on what to do. He was beginning to get a headache with how much he was thinking. Between this and the mission he was getting tired. He just wanted to get the mission over and have his family day with his father and Aunt. 

But his thoughts were shaken. When he felt a small gloved hand grip his arm and pull him. Opening his eyes Evan looked to see it was Anna and was quick to follow her. After telling the pilots to keep him posted which they agreed to do. Anna was then pulling him just outside the room so they could talk. 

"Let me take a look at it Evan," Anna reasoned with him with her soft voice. She could see that Evan was starting to get slightly overwhelmed. So she wanted to help him. Take some of the weight of his shoulders. Anna knew she was the only one who could get close enough to take a look at the orb of light. She also knew they needed to get past it and fast. So they could finish this mission and get the people who were kidnapped back home. She was pretty much the only one who could try to get this thing out of the way. 

But hearing her Evan was quick to shake his head and disagree with her plan. He didn't want to put her in such danger. Not when they didn't know what it was, and never dealt with something like this before. He didn't want to send her in blind. He didn't want to lose his Aunt. The only real maternal figure in his life now. Evan was about to speak. But was stopped by Anna raising her hand gesturing to him to stay quiet. Which led Evan to sigh and stay quiet as he looked into her golden eyes.

"I only say this because I am the only one who can get close enough to it. And I can do it quickly. We are still on a mission Evan. We need to get these people back quickly. You know the longer we wait and sit here like sitting ducks isn't good. We are losing time. And the chance of someone from the Arena finding us is getting higher. So let me go and take a look at this thing. Let me see what I can do," Anna explained to him softly. It shocked Evan to hear her say so much in one sitting. But he shook the shock away.

Knowing now wasn't the time to think too much about such a thing. Taking in what Anna said Evan grunted in frustration. Because he knew she was right. He was then quick to look at the watch on his wrist. It caused Evan to curse under his breath because of the time. Time seemed to not be on their side right now. 

Turning his gaze on Anna he looked into her shining eyes. Trying to see if he could read her. Trying to see if he could see any emotions. Anna's mask hid her very well. It hid all of her… but her eyes. Even then it was hard to read her still because she could hide her emotions so well. It was more so hard to read her when around people. Though when it was just them or her with his father she showed them her emotions. Showed them her emotions mainly through her eyes. 

Other than that there was nothing else that she really did. As the years went on she talked less, and reached out less and less to them. Which worried him and his father a lot as of lately. But right now he looked into her gleaming eyes. He could see she was tired which worried him. Because it was a look that he sees more and more of over the time he’s spent with her. But he also could see a look of determination in her eyes right now. 

It caused Evan to clench his jaw. Because he knew she was the only one who could do this. Looking at his watch again he growled slightly in frustration. He was then running his hands through his wavy hair and over his face. Before nodding at her. Agreeing with her plan. Looking at her with concern. 

"Okay. You go out there and do what you can as quickly as you can. As you said we are still on a mission. You need to be as quick as possible. I'll make sure we keep an eye on you the whole time. If you want to you can talk to me while out there whenever. And if you need to get out of there, you get out of there. I mean it. We'll find another way if anything," Evan cautioned. Hearing his speech caused Anna to smile behind her mask. But she nodded nonetheless. To let him know she agreed and to ease his worries.  

"Have some faith in your Aunt Goldie. I am around a hundred years old. I got some wisdom in me. And let's not forget I've been doing this longer than you," Anna joked as she pointed at him. Evan chuckled at her before opening his arms. Inviting her into a hug. Smiling behind her mask Anna giggled and walked forward into his arms. Throwing her soft arms around his waist. 

He was quick to wrap his arms around her shoulders. Not wanting to let her go. Sighing Evan was scared for his Aunt. The one he was closest to. The one who has been there for him all his life. He was filled with fear for her because he didn't want to lose her. 

But he knew that she was strong and smart. So he pulled away, letting her go. Having some faith in her. Looking down at her, he smiled with a nod. Kissing her masked cover head quickly before she could push him away. It caused Anna to giggle while Evan chuckled. Both of them were soon shaking their heads at each other. 

Before Evan patted her arm and gestured for her to follow him quickly. Anna nodded and rushed to follow behind him. Both knew they needed to be quick. After a moment she realized he was leading her to a weapons vault room. More specifically hers and his that they shared. 

Soon Anna was grabbing a few gadgets. Her hologram watch, an extra radio, a locator. Then grabbing the two golden guns that Evan held out for her. After making sure they were loaded and giving her extra clips. She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. Seeing her Evan was quick to voice his worries.

"Hey there's nothing wrong with extra protection. Especially when your goin' in blind. I know you have your powers, magic, or whatever. But just take them to give me peace of mind. Please," Evan pleaded with her. Sighing Anna nodded and placed them in the holsters on her thighs. She never really liked guns or anything of that sort. She preferred her non mechanical weapons. But more so preferred her weapons that were made specifically for her.

Which were her short sword that was strapped to her back. Then her two daggers that were tucked into her long black boots. Then her lasso at her side. Then her knives that were hidden all over her. They were all specially made for only her and her powers. 

So she could use the weapons as a conduit for her magic at times. The weapons could absorb small amounts of her magic’s essences. It made her weapons glow with heat depending on how much magic she stored in said weapon. They could burn through pretty much anything depending on how much magic was stored in them. It was another form of weapon she could use. 

After Anna was done collecting her weapons with Evan's help. She was soon guided to the rear of the ship by Evan. Where the Alpha team was. They were looking at Evan and Anna with confusion. 

"We've seem to have run into a problem. Gold here is gonna go out and take a look at it. We're going to be on stand by so if anything happens. Remember we are still on a mission. So, be ready for anything. Anything can still happen. While she is out we'll be keeping an eye on her from the monitors," Evan explained to them. 

Going over what is happening with them. As he took out a small touch pad and pressed a few buttons on the screen. He swiped the screen and a large hologram monitor soon appeared on the wall. Showing the team what was outside in front of the ship blocking their way still. Many were shocked at the orb. Causing them to ask questions. Which led Evan to answer what he could.  

"Alright that's it with the questions for now we're wasting time. We need to get this over with okay. Goldie, remember what I said. Take a look, do what you can, but if you need to get out of there. Get out," Evan declared. Leading the team to quiet down. He then turned to Anna. 

Who nodded at his request. As she walked past everyone to get to the back opening. Waiting for the hatch to open. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath. Composing herself to fly, and preparing herself for anything. Evan sighed as he walked to the side of the opening reaching for the latch. Looking at her for a moment making sure she was ready.

"You ready?" Evan asked her. Opening her eyes Anna took another deep breath, nodded, and gave him a thumbs up. Seeing her make the gesture he sent her a nod.  

"Alright be careful Aunt Anna. Remember we got our family night coming up,"  Evan reminded her with a smile. Anna giggled and nodded. Before pointing at the latch. Evan was hesitant but reluctantly pulled it. Opening the back of the ship, making wind blow and whip around them. 

Looking at Evan one last time she sent him a small salute. Then before he could say anything else she ran forward and jumped out of the back of the ship. The last thing she heard was the team laugh. As Evan cursed at her for scaring him.

A laugh escaped her as she fell from the ship. But soon she found herself closing her eyes. Anna allowed herself to fall and feel the wind rush past her. Feeling the wind against her skin. She could feel the rush and sensation of falling. And enjoyed the feeling. Letting herself feel free. She wishes she could stay like this for a while longer. But Anna knew she had a task.

So sighing she opened her shining eyes. Feeling the power she had within. Soon a luminescent gold light appeared at her chest. As the light appeared so did the warmth. Feeling it Anna smiled and allowed the feeling to grow and wash over her.

Allowing her powers to engulf her whole. And soon a gold shimmering light surrounded Anna. She then stopped falling and was hovering in the vast sky. With a gold light shimmering around her, that was her magic. Wrapped around her like a blanket. Keeping her safe and in the air. 

Looking around she saw the lights of the city above and below. Noting they would be going off soon because of the time. Then she found the carrier ship above her. She needed to get to the front of the ship, and check out this orb of light. Then try to move it. Nodding to herself she then willed her powers to carry her forward. 

She smiled behind her mask as she flew through the sky. Loving the feeling of soaring through the air. With her task in mind she was quick to reach her destination. Which was the front of the ship. Looking over her shoulder at the front windows of the ship. She could see the pilots, a few of her teammates, and Evan. She shook her head and waved. Before turning and making her way towards the orb of light. She was growing closer and closer to the light. 

Before she stopped abruptly. Her smile falling from her lips as a frown washed over her. The feeling it was giving off. It was a familiar magic. It was a magic she hasn't felt in such a long time from anywhere but herself. Even then her own magic seemed tainted. But this sort of power or magic was pure. And it was from her old life, from her old world Prythian.

"You okay Goldie?"     

Anna heard Evan through her speaker ask. Quickly reaching for the comms on her mask. She was about to answer him and explain what was happening. When suddenly the air shifted around her. She then watched as the orb of light moved closer to her. She was quick to glide and move back but it kept coming closer to her. Anna had no clue what to do. 

She kept slowly moving back more. Trying to keep a distance from the orb of light. That is until she heard it. A loud noise similar to the snapping of a whip and thunder. A noise that haunted her dreams. It was the same noise she heard when she was pushed into that portal by Amarantha. It caused her to stiffen in a state of fear. But the difference now was this time she was hearing it more than once.

She was quick to cover her ears. Feeling overwhelmed by the noises. All she could hear was the whipping noise mixed with loud thunder and Evan on the comms. She was quick to ignore them and pull herself together. And was soon trying to fly away as fast as she could. Anna only got so far when she felt the wind pick up around her. She could feel the magic that was controlling the wind. She felt the force of it against her powers. It caused a scream to escape her as she tried to keep a hold on her powers. As the wind pushed her closer and closer to the orb. 

Tears began to fall from Anna's eyes as she tried to fight against the force. Anna didn't know how to feel. She knew that this may be her way home. And a part of her was hoping for it. But then another part of her was scared and filled with fear. What if this was just another portal to another world she didn't know? What if someone or even Amarantha was just playing with her and was sending her to another world? 

It has been too long for this portal to just come out of nowhere and send her back to Prythian. It seemed too easy. Which meant it was most likely to send her to another world. That was the only thing that was coming to her mind. 

It was what caused her to fight against the current. But it was no use, it was too much. Anna cried because there was nothing she could do to keep from going into the portal. And Anna knew that she needed to stop fighting so she could preserve her magic. So she wasn't defenseless in the next world. 

Looking at the ship one last time. Anna could see her team rushing around through the windows. Seeming to try and find a way to get to her. They were all somewhat a blur to her. But the one she could see clearly was Evan yelling. More tears fell thinking of him. Evan and his father were going to be the only ones she was going to miss from this world. The only ones who she hasn't lost. In that moment she focused on Evan's voice that was coming through the comms. She could hear him yelling frantically through the comms. But the last thing she heard was his cry for her.

"Aunt Annamarie." 

[tearsucry]

i don’t have a specific request but i would loveee anything with alex cabot!!!

— °˖ ⊹ ꒰🚪꒱ behind closed doors. — alex cabot

#.           hiding your relationship felt like a hardship, but as untouchable colleagues went, behind closed doors, grappling with the tension between your love and the need for secrecy was well worth it to avoid office scrutiny.

content warning;          secret relationship, not other warning applies

a/n.                                   here's something with alex!!! i hope you guys like it, I threw this together in the bathtub so ignore some of the mistakes that I might have made. enjoy <3

the hum of the precinct never quite died down, no matter the hour. between the constant ringing of phones, the low murmur of officers typing up reports, and the occasional shuffling of papers, the world outside barely seemed to exist. but behind closed doors, another world thrived- a world where secrets, soft touches, and stolen moments belonged.

you looked across the bullpen, trying to focus on the latest case file spread out in front of you, but it wasn't scattered papers that caught your attention. it was alex cabot, the ada who was supposed to be just another colleague.

only, she wasn't.

she was leaning against the wall, her sharp blue eyes scanning the room as if it were a courtroom. her presence always commanded attention, but the confidence in her gaze masked the secret you both harbored. a secret that hung between you two like a thread, tight and ready to snap at any moment.

alex caught your eyes, her expression softening just for a split second- a silent acknowledgment of everything she couldn't say here. you turned away quickly, your heart pounding louder than the phones ringing in the background.

your relationship wasn't something you planned. you were a detective, committed to the job and the truth, and alex was the ada, fierce in the courtroom and even fiercer behind closed doors. in public, you were professionals. no one could know about the nights spent together, the quiet dinners at her place, or the morning where you left your apartment with a kiss on her lips, urging her to sleep in.

no one could know that your heart raced not from the adrenaline of catching a perp, but from the briefest touches of her hand, or the way she whispered your name when you were alone.

"detective," alex's voice broke through your thoughts, firm but laced with an edge only you could detect. she was standing next to you now, too close for comfort, yet far enough to keep up appearances. "I need you to testify at tomorrow's hearing."

you nodded, swallowing hard, as you handed her the stack of paper. your fingers brushed for only a second, but it was enough to send a shiver down your spine. she didn't flinch. cool as ever, she flipped through the file, her professionalism intact.

"come see me later to go over your statement." she said, her words carrying a different weight when she glanced at you, her eyes lingering just a bit too long. the kind of later that meant her apartment, far from prying eyes and office gossip.

you nodded again, struggling to keep the wild smile that tried to wash over your face like a mask.

in public, you were two ships passing- alex with ice in her veins and fire in her closing arguments, you, the diligent detective, unflinching in your pursuit of justice. as long as you both stuck to your roles in front of the world, people didn't care about what went on behind closed doors. that was the beauty of it.

but here, in the safe haven of one of your apartments, all that restraint melted away.

you smiled, walking toward the kitchen after kicking your shoes off, strolling past the couch where you toss your jacket, and waltzing onto the side of the blonde who was cooking something you couldn't even pronounce. your fingers trailed over the shoulders of her white strappy shirt.

alex glanced over her shoulders, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she stirred the pot on the stove. "you look awfully curious." she teased lightly, her voice slipping into the playful tone reserved for these stolen moments.

you chuckled, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind, resting your chin on her shoulder. "I'm a detective," you whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. "it's part of the job description."

she leaned back into you, her defense down, and for a moment, the weight of the day disappeared. in the precinct, you were careful, calculated, and always walking the line. but here, with the scent of whatever intricate meal alex was attempting to cook and the warmth of her in your arms, the outside world didn't matter.

"should i be worried you're investigating me?" she asked, her head tilting slightly so she could glance at you from the corner of her eye.

"depends," you grinned, tightening your hold on her just enough to make her laugh under her breath. "are you hiding something I should know about?"

"other than the fact that i love you? not much."

you both laughed, the sound light and free, so online the heavy silences that sometimes dominated your workdays when you had to pretend none of this existed. alex turned in your arms, sliding her hands up to rest on your shoulders. her eyes softening, and for a moment, it was just the two of you in this tiny apartment- no courtroom, no precinct, no secrets between you.

[lgbtqiapnfreak]

Why I think Byler is endgame

Before we start, you must know I'm really skeptical about theories and all. I like to read and have fun with them, but believe them? It's really hard for me as a 20 years old queer person. Since young I've suffered being queerbaited by mainstream series, Stranger Things wouldn't be the first nor the last to do that.

I know today things are a little bit better, but for the sake of my poor broken heart, I'm always expecting a deception. Yet, I can see byler happening in season 5.

Here we go to the reasons why.

The existence of Robin

I've heard a lot of straight people say, before season 4 and even now, that "Will can't be gay because Robin is the gay person in the show. There is no reason for another one".

Like? The show can have 38272 straight, developed and important for the plot characters, all of them with love interests and happy endings, and one gay character inserted as a comic relief is fine. Two? To much to deal with.

I know, I know, disgusting. BUT what if I say that Robin was not a character added to the show only for a comic relief or identity representation at all? That she was presented for the watchers to consider the existence of a gay character in the show. For them to recognize some queer coded things that, without Robin, they wouldn't be able to?

Robin was presented to us in Season 3. As we must know, the third season of the show is mainly dedicated to character and relationships development. Thanks to it, we got to see the characters way more cylindrically, their fears, mistakes, who they are in their normal daily life. Mike, El, Hopper, Joyce, Erica and Steve gained many new layers in this season, but Will had the most special one: the first explicit hint of his sexuality.

And then, Robin appears. At first we are conditioned to think she likes Steve, the Duffers play a game with the watchers' heteronormativity using the dubiousness of their dialogs. And then, boom! She is lesbian. Not only lesbian but repressedly in love with a girl - at least was - and jealous of Steve.

Thanks to this coming out scene

The interpretation door was open to see this as Will being in love with a boy, repressing his feelings and being jealous of the girl the boy is dating with.

Will's jealousy and feelings for Mike back then stamped the background of everything, it was being slowly built inside the show - but not inside the character, remember the Snow Ball script? It was always there, just unseen.

Until here we are only remarking that Will is gay. But what Robin has to do with byler as a ship?

Well, if she is the queer character created to open this door for Will, created to gain the sympathy of the general public as comic relief character who bonded with two of the most popular characters of the show - Dustin and Steve - since s3, showing the watchers the struggles of a queer person in the 80's in a "light" way and making the viewers to cheer for her love life, of course her character holds a big role with byler building a romantic relationship.

Robin appeared in Season 3 because the viewers wanted Milven to happen in season 2 - thanks to the heteronormativity and kids sexualization I may say - when it wasn't going to, it wasn't scripted like this and it's not going to be endgame. So Robin's creating a scape route for the writers.

The hints given about Will being called a f@g and Mike over protective and supportive behavior with Will were not enough to create this bridge between friends and lovers as we know very well.

Movie Date and Schrodinger Cat

Moving on. We know Will is gay. Okay. What is still uncertain in the show is Mike's sexuality and required feelings towards Will. Here, we are focusing in the required feelings part.

I read a lot of analysis about the "movie date scene". I remember people discussing the blushing frame and the holding hands theory even before s4 coming out and at the time it sounded like joke to me - as I said I'm really skeptical. Yet, after rewatch the part and reading a lot (especially @greenfiend 's one about the holding hands thing), I feel like I finally understood why the scene is so spoken of.

It's pretty simple, it's another open door. Not like Robin who is there to guide us to read between the lines but as something that is open to interpret and rely on when they finally get together. It was made for when people start to question "where did this relationship came from?" and create assumptions like "it came out of the nowhere".

In the scene, Lucas, Max, Mike and Will go to Starcourt's movie theater to watch a horror movie together. When arguing about Mike's behavior, Lucas remarks that he is spending romantic time with his girlfriend by going there. When they are finally inside, lumax and byler sits separately, then things start to get really fishy.

The construction of the whole next part, when they are inside the movie theater, from the beginning of the movie to the black out and end of the scene, are basically hands. Hands everywhere. In the close ups, in the people around them and even in the movie. Why? For us to see it, to think of it, to imagine. To imagine what? It's up to you of course, but we know people hold hands at movie theaters, specially when watching a horror movie, and we also know byler is the main focus on that scene for some reason.

But they didn't show us their hands, did them? No. Because of that, no one can really say they were holding hands, but the same can't be said about them not holding their hands. The construction of the scene deliberately leads us to question the possibility, however there is no true answer. Like the Schorodinger Cat, they are holding and not-holding their hands.

Also, the "are you okay?" Mike says, the camera play and Noah's acting leads us to think that, if they are holding their hands, it was Mike's initiative, not Will's.

The whole scene is purposefully dubious.

Noah looks down at his hand at the end of the interaction, up again, and then smiles. It's there but they don't show us! At the same time, if it was an unromantic moment, they would've shown us they were holding hands as they did before, so why not? Why do they keep the whole thing subtle, calculated, and masked by the MF plot if not to hold a secret meaning behind it all. A secret meaning for us to discover yet.

Like pleaseee, I swear this is some kind of torture for us gay people.

Mike's character construction and Finn's acting

I'm a ST fan since the beginning. I was here when the major public liked Jonathan better than Steve, when Mike was the favorite member of the party, and Finn was treated as one of the best child actors of the show. Looking back, it's pretty obvious things changed a lot since the third season.

Why things changed? In the last two seasons, Finn was accused of being "out of the character" and "having a bad acting". And Mike turned into a douchebag in public eyes.

The truth is: the way the writers had chosen to show us Mike changed. He still is the same insecure, paranoic, loyal, compassionate character who is a jerk sometimes from the beginning, but we didn't get the chance to see his POV since s2.

Mike is a character trapped in the expectations of the viewers. They expected him to date El, to love El as a girlfriend, to treat her the way she deserves - what he can do, but clearly not as a boyfriend. Their relationship wasn't scripted the way it happened, so his character needed to go through some changes to remain himself. And, of course, for mlvn to end, the viewers needed to hate his version with El. Again, it is a scape route.

His character is still the same, but the way we see him is different. The truth is the viewers expected Mike to acts towards El the way he did with Will after they started dating: unconditionally supportive, trusting, and understanding, but guess what? This was never on Mike's character to begin with.

He doesn't understand, trust, or support people unconditionally. They are showing how much he is inflexible and selective in what he wants to believe since the very first episode, we can see that in the relationship with his family and friends. Just remember his fights with Lucas in s1, s2 and s4 and Dustin in s2 and s3, they are his CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, but even them don't have the pleasure of Mike's unconditionally support and trust. The only character he is truly open to is Will.

These changes were made for us to see the difference between Will and the rest of the world for Mike. In season 3, when he appears to be a jerk to everyone, no exception at all, the only person he seems to retract this behavior for is Will. In season 4, Mike fights El and Will, but again, the only one he seems to understand and retract from his defenses for is Will. Again, the only person he is really open with.

Now, speaking about sexuality, the other reason for people to blame Finn's acting is the awkwardness in kissing and intimate scenes - like the first I love you he heard from his girlfriend.

I don't know about you, but for me, it is almost painful to watch them kissing. Not only kissing, the whole dating thing looks like a performance, and it's not a good one, if I may say. But here is the thing, it's on purpose! The same goes for the looks he gives Will's and Eddie's body.

Don't even think that every look, expression, or camera play is not calculated. These people spend so much money in the show for it to be half assed by bad acting or misinterpretation of the script.

[neyafromfrance95]

I really don’t understand why people are so divided on Celeborn. Like he’s always just been there and I never expected TROP to change that. Sure he’s boring but I can acknowledge that for Galadriel he makes sense and that she does love him. It doesn’t effect the intrigue of her relationship with Sauron which already existed well before TROP. It’s just that the show was smart enough to realize that and flesh it out. I think some fans have a provincial view on love and don’t understand that various layers of it can exist without detracting from the other. I can believe that Galadriel is in love and happy with Celebron and STILL feels a cosmic soul connection to Sauron. I think the writers understand that this is the meat of this adaptation because there’s a reason certain tropes are classics; the whole dark/light, good/evil push and pull. On a different note it also makes me wonder why people feel the need to whitewash Sauron’s character as this man who wants to try to be ‘good’ in order to ship him and Galadriel. I think s2 makes it very clear that he is at his core a dark and evil entity who at the very most finds human morality an interesting curiosity and warps ideas of goodness for his own gain. And monsters can still feel love, like I think he definitely feels connected to Galadriel and will only ever feel as deeply as he is capable for another being, for her. But because he is what he is, he has no problem manipulating her for what he thinks is best for her and ultimately what serves himself. They are on totally different ends in how they perceive the world and yet they see each other so clearly. This is what makes it interesting for me at least. Anyway let me stop rambling now lol

yeah, i agree.

i see celeborn as this emotional support husband who (unlike many other male characters in lotr) doesn't "dominate" his wife and is rather her follower. there is a good malewife potential for him, lol. and he is pretty much just a background "husband" character, not taking away the spotlight from galadriel.

and yes, just bc galadriel ends up married to celeborn and they might have a nice soft relationship doesn't mean that she doesn't have a far more special and deep connection with sauron, more passionate and poetic even.

but the reason why they can't be together and the whole tragic beauty of sauron x galadriel is that her gaze is fixed on the light while he is the darkness incarnate. and the fact that sauron is this irredeemable evil yet still loves galadriel and her only but in his own twisted way is what makes it more fascinating!

i wish we could allow female characters to have complicated, complex and flawed relationships instead of trying to limit them to the simple wholesome and easily digestible ones.

that being said, i don't really think it's gonna be interesting to focus on galadriel's relationship with celeborn in trop. we know their story already, we've seen them together in other media. this is the story of galadriel x sauron and taking the focus away from this relationship by introducing celeborn would be far from compelling or satisfying development. that's the reason i don't really want to see him until the end of the show.

(also, again, the reason for celeborn demand and discourse is that a lot of incelbros want galadriel to be this tame wifey and they think celeborn is going to come and take away her sword, and a lot of moralists want us to stop shipping "taboo" ships such as sauron x galadriel.)

[lover-of-mine]

I so agree with everything you said. The difference of reactions when you didn't ship their previous relationship vs when you don't ship B/T is very telling (same with the fact that when some people talked about a cheating storyline, the reactions were always "it would be bad for Buck to do this to Tommy" but apparently it would have been okay if Eddie did this to a woman?? okay lmao)

What I don't understand is how people say that it's Buck's most developed LI/relationship. Like? We don't know that much about him. People have created (themselves and via the actor's cameos) lots of headcanons but that doesn't mean that they are canon.

To me, he really still feels like a love interest device for now. Like with the scene of the kiss in the last episode, they could have include some mentions of another date, whether past or a future one, but they didn't. The kiss was just there to be able to have Buck come out to the rest of the family, but it didn't bring anything more about B/T (we don't know if they saw each other since the coffee date/if it was their second kiss or if there was already more).

Literally. Like, look, I will say one thing, if buddie had hooked up at that bachelor party only one person would be cheating and that's Eddie. Buck and Tommy did not have a we're exclusive talk. They actually had a we can figure things out as we go talk. Personally, I don't think that counts as an we are together conversation, but that's my opinion. But either way no one seemed to care about the Eddie side of it. Eddie who is literally in a relationship serious enough he asked her to move in with him the episode before. But sure, that doesn't count because they hate Edy and forget Marisol exists (I do too, but I spent the whole time saying we shouldn't make the bisexual dude help his best friend cheat because I did not forget Eddie would be cheating and that would be bad no matter what). And to say T is the most developed love interest is a straight up lie. Taylor had a whole season as Buck's friend before they got together. She had a personality, flaws, qualities, she even got her very own tragic background episode. Say what you want about anything, and yes they sucked as a couple, but bucktaylor was developed. On screen. To a point where if the show actually wanted to, which they clearly didn't because they used the s4 Taylor development to stir her away from Buck instead of closer, they could've made bucktaylor work, they just had to make her as intense about Buck as she is with the job, and they could've been a very interesting golden retriever boyfriend/black cat girlfriend dynamic (good god I can't believe this fandom is making me defend fucking bucktaylor). Buck and T had one scene alone before they were kissing. Tommy has no established personality. Pretty much everything about him besides the begins episodes part of him (that dont paint him in the best light) we learned second hand. Through interviews. It's not even things that are being said to the audience in the show. I'm pretty sure the only things we learned from the show are the way he's a pilot, he was in the army, he likes wrestling, cars, and basketball. I could be wrong, fandom annoyed me so much I blackout every time I see him at this point. But he's not developed? He's just a guy? Don't get me wrong, he could be developed. There is space for it. But right now, he is there to serve as a device for Buck to find his bisexuality and that's it. They kissed twice. They went on half a date T left in the middle of. They went out for coffee and decided to figure things out as they went. He was at the hospital after the wedding to work as a way for Buck to come out without making him go around telling everyone. He exists around Buck. And that's it. Personally I don't see the endgame material people keep seeing. I don't see the development either. And anyone can headcanon anything, really go off, have fun with your ship, but people seriously need to stop acting like what Lou is saying in cameos counts as canon. Being in the fandom right now is exhausting because people just decided things about T and BT that are not backed by canon and they get real aggressive if you don't agree. I seriously am dying to see what's gonna happen if canon goes against the idealized version of him fanon created. I don't know if it's gonna happen but by god will I be entertained by it if it does.

[shayrose5494]

Valentino Must Die

So I have Hazbin Hotel brainrot and hate Valentino with a fiery passion. So I decided to compile a list of who I'd like to see be the one to off him when his time comes and how I think it would go down. This list is essentially from least exciting (but no less satisfying) to most exciting:

6. Husk

Now Husk is so low on this list because let's be honest, he's one of the most predictable ones to do it. It's been established by Vivziepop that apparently his and Angel's relationship will be a slow burn, but it's been hinted HuskerDust is endgame, so it would make sense for Husk to be the one to take Val out.

I imagine that one day, Angel returns to the hotel seriously hurt because of Val. This would be the tipping point for Husk. So he tracks down Val. Now this part could go one of two ways visually:

Scenario 1: We see Husk track down Val, and after a bit of a confrontation (and veiled threat on Husk's end), the screen cuts to black. Cut back to the Hotel, where Angel is finding out Husk went after Val. Angel, despite being in pain, has to go find Husk. But before he can leave, a bloodied Husk returns. He tells Angel he never has to worry about Val hurting him again and that he'll keep him safe. Insert HuskerDust first kiss.

Scenario 2: Husk still tracks down Val, but Angel arrives before the fight really begins. Val tries to hurt (or even kill) Angel. This send Husk into a rage and for the first time we get to see Husk's full demon appearance. The fight ensues and Husk comes out on top. Insert HuskerDust first kiss (I kinda sort ship it lol)

5. Angel

Angel is the one that has the most motivation to kill Val, which is why he's also so low on this list. Like Husk, this is quite predictable.

I imagine something along the lines of Husk's Scenario 2. But instead of Husk going full demon (maybe because he's lost his overlord status he can't go full demon anymore) he still fights as is. Unfortunately, this gives Val the upperhand.

So when it seems Val is going to win this fight, and possibly kill Husk, Angel shoots Val. We know Angel has the guns to do it. But he's always been too afraid of Val to follow through. But seeing Husk, someone he loves, facing Val's wrath, this would be the motivation Angel needs. (We know Angel is protective about those he cares about, like he was with Charlie when she came to the studio). Angel kills Val and HuskerDust kiss. (I'm trying to manifest it into existence ok).

4. Charlie

Now, I don't actually think Charlie would kill Val. However, I'm not gonna rule it out or be mad about it if it happens.

After all, we all saw how she went full demon after Sir Pentious' death. I wouldn't put it past Charlie to go full demon on Val after learning the extent of his abuse towards Angel (she nearly did in the studio). She's already lost one friend, she's not about to loose another. But we all know, that if Charlie got into a fight with Val, there would be no option of sparing him. And not even Angel would be able to talk her out of it this time.

3. Cherri

I feel like Cherri's motivation would be similar to Charlie's. She also lost Sir Pentious and there is no way in hell (pun 10000% intended) she's going to loose Angel to moth boy.

I'd love nothing more than to see her shove one of her bombs down his throat then walk away as he explodes in the background like in an action movie.

2. Niffty

Nothing would bring me more joy than watching Niffty pull an Adam2.0 with Val. And since we know that she enjoys killing bugs, watching her kill the giant pest would be so satisfying.

I imagine that Angel would finally tell Val, he's done, contract be damned. So Val shows up to the hotel. A fight between Val and the gang ensues. Val, like Adam, starts monologuing, until a knife pops through his chest.

Bonus points if Niffty does it because a tiny moth came flying through the lobby, so her thinking it's the same principle as with mother roaches and their children, kills Val to send a message to the moths lol.

Finally, last but never least, and my personal favorite because it's so out of left field:

Alastor

Now, hear me out, this one's a bit strange, but let me explain:

Imagine the Husk/Angel scenario where Husk goes after Val, but Val gets the upper hand. Husk is seriously injured (not killed mind you, just injured). While Alastor doesn't consider Husk a friend, he does own Husk's soul. And if you think anyone but Alastor can hurt Husk and get away with it, you'd be sorely mistaken.

Alastor would rip Val limb from limb (and we love that for Val). Plus this would reinforce the rivalry between Alastor and Vox, especially of Vox and Val are still in their dating phase of their on/off relationship. This could even bump Vox up to a serious antagonist for the hotel.

I know that some of these were a bit far-fetched, but I love twists and turns like that in movies and TV. Going in one direction for so long before taking an unexpected turn. If anyone else has any other ideas let me know. I want to hear all of the fun ways we could kill Val. In the meantime:

Piggy kisses for your troubles.

[fayewoodss]

Dream Team Ships and Colors

(This was all written in Discord. I tried to edit it for a post, but if anything reads awkwardly, just remember that.)

Though I'm not really a serious shipper, I have a lot of thoughts on the Dream Team ships and how their designated colors coincide with their personalities and the roles they play.

DNF are green and blue, colors that are analogous on the color wheel. One is a primary color, a color that cannot be mixed using other colors, and the other is a secondary color, a color that is only made by mixing two colors. Green being a secondary color also means that it can lean more yellow or blue depending on how much of each color is mixed in, so in a way it's less fixed than blue and more flexible and unpredictable. Now, I think Dream's signature green is honestly kind of horrible, but I think that speaks to his own fun chaos. Dream has things that he is particular about, has structures and routines, but he also prides himself in being unpredictable and setting people off. We see it a lot in his humor, but also in how he shows love and affection. You don't always know what's coming next, just like mixing colors and pigments can give you a hue you weren't expecting. There are many shades and tints of blue, of course, but it isn't nearly as malleable of a color as green is. Especially when George's blue is often depicted as a very pure, light cerulean. Referring to my friends' thoughts on DNF's dynamic in the past and especially in recent videos, George shows a lot protection toward Dream. Blue is a color a synonyms, so going from protection we can use synonyms and word association and go protection > safety > comfort > calm. Blue is often considered to be the calmest color, receding into the background but always there, always familiar, a constant to fall back on. Blue and green have a relationship where they could easily overpower each other depending on how much of each color is added to the mix, but blue will always be a part of green. Green cannot exist without blue.

SNF are orange and blue, colors that are complementary of each other, or opposites on the color wheel. Complementary colors are always fascinating because they are warm-cool color combinations that naturally match by being opposites, but still tend to clash for the same reason: being opposites. Another important thing about complementary colors is when you mix them together it will lower the intensity of the other color. So, mixing orange into blue can lower the intensity and saturation of the blue, and vice versa. With Sapnap and George, you have two intense personalities both when they're being silly and being serious. Because of this, a lot of small minded smooth brained people (/j) don't think they work as friends, let alone a ship. But I believe that by matching each other in intensity, they also manage to dampen and ground each other when necessary. In many ways, they play as equals to each other, intense or calm. Orange is also a secondary color, being mixed from red and yellow, so like green there is flexibility there, but it's not as unpredictable as green because both red and yellow are warm colors, so there is a solidity and stubbornness to Sapnap. George also has his own stubborn streak which I think is reflected in blue being a primary color, always the same and cannot be made with other pigments. I think the notes of the safety and comfort of blue also play into SNF but in a way that is more subtle because they even out when mixed. Orange and blue can exist separately, but together they are a striking combination that thrives in intensity and attention, and can melt into a muted murky hue that springs notes both of mystery and safety.

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: The Maritime Finale

This is definitely the last one of these, as it's rounding up a bunch of sea creatures I've missed. I assume by this point everyone who sees this knows what it's about, but just in case: https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. (I'll get the rest of the entries on there soon.)

The entry people are working from is here:

The one for next week does not exist. (Also I apologize if I seem rushed, this is a busy week for me.)

Art below the cut!

@pomrania (link to post here) has us off on a weird start with their interpretation of the Fatrihrukh. I don't have any particular nostalgia for rage-face comics (I was online during that era, just not in circles where they were common), but honestly this made me smile. Also I like imagining some fisherman on a dock, still sitting in a normal pose and holding his fishing rod, just full-throat screaming at the sky, apparently apropos of nothing in particular. This is a fun one, is what I'm saying.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) has an uncanny ability to make me think, "sure, that looks like an animal that could be real" even when they're drawing something like Fish With Tentacles, which I am 99% sure is not a thing. Though if fish did have tentacles, they would look like that. This is of course also the Fatrihrukh; apparently people like that one.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done the whole set. A lot of these turned out really well -- I think the Ormlalaehr is stealing the show here, but the Bursgaenga is pretty darn cute. The linked post has details on each of them, which I recommend checking out. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)

@wendievergreen (link to post here) continues to impress with their delightful art style. Love the little space-invader Magtlegyegs, and the Lungyoggeas are just... wild. Extremely cool looking. (Also, thank you for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) joins the broad consensus that if you're only drawing one of these, it's the Fatrihrukh. I love the (medieval-art-appropriate) choice to give it human-like parts since the entry doesn't say otherwise. The colors are also really pretty; I like the effect on the background.

Okay. Aberdeen Bestiary. No illustrations for this one -- this whole section is just blocks of text.

Ahrmegyaeb

The wording is ambiguous as to whether whales and dolphins also do this -- but the creature in question is the seal. I have no idea how this works; either baby seals are way smaller than I think or I have completely the wrong idea about how seal mouths look.

Bursgaenga

This one is of course the scarus or escarius, which does not exist. Bestiary.ca notes that Scarus is a genus of parrotfish in modern taxonomy, and that the Rackham translation of Pliny the Elder has decided they are wrasse. No idea how well that reflects medieval understanding.

Chraekhret

Another one that doesn't exist, the echenais. Apparently Pliny has heard of some magical applications in love-charms, litigation, and obstetrics. The fish that anchors ships is a good addition to a fantasy setting, I think.

Dhrakyetor

Naturally the fish that looks like a serpent is the eel. More spontaneous generation, too, which is always nice. I swear I've heard that "giant eels in the Ganges" line somewhere before, but can't place it.

Eavbechtgi

Here we have the lamprey. I kind of wonder if this "head vs. tail" thing has something to do with its unusual head shape?

Fatrihrukh

Honestly I probably should have redacted the "many-footed" thing, because the name given is polippus, which... yeah, that actually tracks. I thought maybe this was the result of someone not bothering to actually count the limbs on an octopus, but it's apparently an obsolete umbrella term for octopus, squid, cuttlefish... all manner of tentacled cephalopod.

Griggkhraz

This is the torpedo, which is some fun etymology. The modern usage of torpedo is inherited from non-self-propelled naval mines, which were named after this torpedo, an electric ray. (Presumably they named mines after it because it hides itself & zaps you if you accidentally step on it.) The rays were named for their effect on people whom they zap: torpidus, 'numb'. This is of course cognate with English torpid. Which is a strange word to be cognate with the thing you shoot at boats.

Also:

...if a torpedo from the Indian sea is touched by a spear or rod, even from a considerable distance, the muscles of the fisherman's arms, even if they are very strong, grow numb...

Would that work if it were a metal rod?

Hretchngin

This is the crab. I did not know all of that about crabs, especially the basil thing.

Khaboghrad

Meet the sea urchin. That's why it specifies "the maritime kind" -- the other kind of urchin is a hedgehog. I don't know why the author calls it "worthless and contemptible", especially since they go on to say it can do this really cool thing. Just seems unnecessarily mean.

Lungyoggea

This one is just shellfish. All of them, apparently. The words given are conca and concle -- Latin concha covers shellfish in general.

Magtlegyeg

Naturally the pearl-bearing shellfish is the oyster, but I love the imagery of oysters going ashore to be fertilized by dew from heaven. The idea of going out at night to watch the oysters migrate onto land and catch the dew is another thing I'm taking note of for a fantasy setting.

Nolthrigyo

Someone probably clocked this one: it's the murex snail, source of the famous "tyrian purple" dye.

Ormlalaehr

Really pushing the definition of "fish" here is... the tortoise. Technically also the turtle, I guess, since the author specifies that this includes land and sea varieties. This is, I think, one that makes total sense once you know what it is, so we're moving on to our last one, which is also really pushing the "what is a fish" envelope...

Riggmungku

This is the frog, also obvious once you see it. The fact that it's being called a fish really throws you off, though, I think.

And that's the whole lot. This has been fun, but I'm also glad to have it completed. (Well, completed with the exception of any responses to this one I've missed or that came in late.) Thanks to everyone who's been looking in on this project -- thanks doubly to everyone who contributed -- and thanks triply to the handful of people who drew something practically every week.

[ziracona]

I thought the ending to The Untamed was perfect.

I knew it would be different from the book, because of censorship. And I thought they couldn’t have done a better job.

You’ve got this story about a broken society with prejudices of class and sex and background, and how the way things are, you can’t be truly happy within the system. In the book, Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan leave the system together to get married, because they can’t stay within the cultivation world and be gay and live the same, and find happiness outside it. In the book, you get this lifetime of pining from Lan Zhan, and slow realization from Wei Wuxian, and a bond that goes through and overcomes death itself. And in the show, they give you as much of that as they can too. They have to make it subtext, but boy does every single actor hit that gay shit hard. Every single reaction shot to Wang Yibo is him carrying the gay subtext on his back like Atlas.

It��s absolutely still a love story about two men. One who fights to keep the other alive, and fails, then fights not to lose him again when gifted a miracle. The other, trying to do the right thing and being punished and demonized every step of the way, because right doesn’t coincide with ‘accepted.’ It’s often directly opposed.

But they aren’t allowed to make it canon. So they follow that thread. They can be in love, if they don’t say it. They can have the intense feelings, if an audience can pretend they’re friends. But they can’t get together. So they don’t. They go ‘if they can’t, then what happens?’ and they don’t give you the emotional out of letting them go off together as ‘friends’ so the audience can be happy, because that’s not a reading of the relationship. They aren’t friends; they’re in love. Because he’s not openly gay, Lan Zhan can be asked to run his sect, which means he has to stay. If he can’t choose to go with Wei Wuxian and run away, then Wei Wuxian is forced to return to his fate and be alone. It’s heartbreaking. But it’s supposed to be.

Denying an audience what they want is one of the most powerful tools media has. A whole story about fighting the entire world for a man you love as another man, 50 episodes, and then you don’t get to be happy together, because it’s being shown to a world that won’t allow that end.

Wei Wuxian is heartbroken. They go to part ways, and he tells Lan Zhan next time they meet, he better have a name for the song he wrote them. A song that has always been called Wangxian, or Wuji. A song that is literally the ship name, their names combined. Both in world and metatextully, he’s telling him to make a choice.

And they leave, and Wei Wuxian starts playing Wangxian on the flute. They’ve parted, and Lan Zhan stops because he can hear the song that’s literally written by him about loving Wei Wuxian and named after their ship, being played after him as a call of the life they could still choose to have. The call to run away together.

And it’s called not The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, but The Untamed, after that quote. “At best, you’re the untamed hero; At worst, you offend people wherever you go.” - “Wei Wu Xian! Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path.”

Because that’s what it’s about. It’s about the disconnect from society and right. Again and again. The way people are treated for their birth, their love, their affiliation. The fate of the Wen remnants who didn’t fight, Jin Guangyao’s entire reason for being there, all the broken relationships and tension, even the very reasons people hate Wei Wuxian and kill him the first time. And in the show, allowed to exist for the book’s overwhelming popularity and success, but not allowed the freedom of the book—only allowed in the closet, it seven more about that in regards to the core romance itself. It’s a deep, beautiful gay romance, not allowed to show a gay romance to their audience.

And so they lean into that. You can’t have ‘MDZS without the gay romance.’ It doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be the same story. It’s a story about, and in every step and nuance, only possible because of, the romantic and sexual feelings of deep connection between two men. So the story is MDZS with the love, but you can’t show it. You can’t let it out of the shadows. You can’t let it be seen. And you can’t have the happy ending MDZS earns, without the freedom to love each other and live the life they want together, that makes it possible. — They can’t have them get married, so they make you see what a world where being gay and together isn’t allowed looks like for those characters, because that’s what this story is being forced by censorship to be. And it fucking sucks. It hurts. It’s agony and disappointment, after all this, that death can’t beat you but the world can.

But they have him call out to Lan Zhan to reconsider. To choose Wangxian over the end they have to have. And he does. And you see Wei Wuxian look overjoyed that he heard Wangxian and answered. But they never show the reverse shot. We hear Lan Zhan, but we can’t see him, because it’s not allowed. It’s censored. They literally don’t ‘show us’ him changing his mind, because they’re not allowed to, and they make a point of that. It cuts immediately to “We thank the author Mo Xiang Tang Xiu for bringing these characters to life.”

We thank the author for letting them truly live.

“May their wishes in the future come true.” May the system change. May the last frame be allowed.

[wrightingdungeon]

Hi Smoke I just saw you take requests, does that mean you would be willing to contribute to my Halex agenda?

I don't actually know if I can send a link but I have a favorite fanart as exhibit A: https://www.tumblr.com/sunshinecovey/753258969064210432?source=share

Exhibit B: The fic situation on AO3 is abyssmal. They are always background, always breaking up for one of them to have their gay awakening, and there is soo little actually featuring the two of them in a healthy relationship. Which is all fine on its own but the contrarian in me wants good Halex to exist just because it's so weirdly rare

Exhibit C: Consider. Barbie/Ken (from the show) They're both on the same wavelength of dumb so they get each other when no one else does, and Haley is slightly smarter and translates shit for him. And Haley is high maintenance but Alex will HAPPILY be her maintenance man because he worships her.

Like I feel like he would be the kind of boyfriend to sit and take pictures for her Instagram and he WANTS to because he loves her and its her hobby, and it doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous. And he loves sitting for her fashion shows after she buys new clothes.

I rest my case! (This is such a long ask oh my god sorry lmao)

(Two writers floating down the Halex River) "Don't tell me we are about to go over a waterfall?", "Yep", "Does it have a healthy relationship and mutual understanding at the bottom?", "Most likely.", "Fuck yeah."

Warning it's one am, forgive the sleepy brain, i go honk shoe now

Exhibit A:

Haley sighed dreamily as she watched Alex pull his barbell up into another curl. She had given up on her job and lost track of what rep he was on a while ago, her attention completely absorbed by the way his muscles moved.

Her eyes and mind were transfixed on Alex's pecs and traps, watching as they tensed when he raised the bar to his chest and stretched as he lowered it, resting it on his hips as he took a breath.

She bit her lip gently, watching the sweat roll down his skin, his chest rising and falling deeply but rhythmically. The sight was almost hypnotic, each movement drawing her deeper.

“Earth to Haley.” Haley blinked and looked up from his chest, Alex’s voice pulling her out of her gawking. “What's my count?” Alex asked, somewhat out of breath as he rested the barbell again, his smile tired yet teasing, knowing she wasn't paying attention.

“Yes,” Haley said, laughing softly as Alex rolled his eyes and continued his reps.

“What ya focusing on there, Sunflower?” Alex groaned as he asked, smirking as he held the bar close to his chest.

“Your boobs,” Haley admitted happily, bouncing on his bed slightly, her smirk mirroring his, her eyes once more drawn to his pectorals as they bulged over the bar.

Alex chuckled, shaking his head. “You're something else, you know that?”

Haley just grinned wider, her eyes never leaving his muscles. "It's hard when you're… just… so… distracting~.”

Exhibit B:

Alex groaned, burying his face into his hands. “It's not working, Haley…” He shook his head and looked up at Haley, who just smiled sweetly at him.

“Lex, baby. It's working, you just think it's not,” she said gently, cupping his face and rubbing his cheek and ear with her thumb.

“It's not!” Alex whined, leaning into her touch. His eyes fell onto the paper in front of him. “I wrote waist, like you said, but you said it's wrong.”

“No, I said you were close.” Haley scoffed and playfully dropped his head. “You spelled waist correctly, but we are talking about waste,” she explained, trying her hardest not to coo at Alex as he looked at her, mouth open, confused.

“You just… used the same word…” He said slowly, now rubbing his face in frustration.

Haley giggled softly, shaking her head as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “No, I didn’t, Alex.” She kissed his shoulder softly.

“Is this like there, their, and they're?” Alex asked, staring into space like he had been told he was being shipped to war.

Haley chuckled at his dramatic expression and nodded. “Yep, exactly like that. They sound the same but have different meanings and spellings. You’ll get it, I know it.”

Alex sighed, still looking doubtful. “I don’t know, Sunflower…”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, Alex,” Haley said softly, squeezing his thigh. “You’re making progress, and that’s what matters.”

Alex smiled weakly, the frustration slowly melting away. “Thanks, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Haley smiled back, her eyes twinkling. “You’d manage. But, come on, let’s go over it one more time, okay.”

“Fiiiine…” Alex groaned yet smiled as he picked up his pen again.

Exhibit C:

Alex leaned back against the couch, his hands resting in his lap, as he watched Emily talking with her hands as she talked about parrots, having just got one herself. He was trying his best to follow along, but Emily's excitement and technical jargon quickly left him confused.

“Did you know that parrots can have vocabularies of over 1,000 words?” Emily exclaimed, her eyes bright with passion. “They use complex social cues to communicate in ways remarkably similar to humans.”

Alex nodded, even though he was already lost. “Uh, wow, that’s… cool.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Haley stifling a smile. She leaned in closer to him as she translated. “They are super smart and can learn a lot of words. They understand things kinda like we do.”

Emily didn’t miss a beat and continued with her descriptions of parrots. “They mimic sounds with amazing accuracy and even understand the context of certain words. For example, they can ask for specific foods and recognize their owners by voice.”

Alex, struggling to keep up, looked at Haley again. “So, wait, they talk to each other like… us?”

Haley giggled as she responded. “Kinda, It’s like we have a feathered little genius living with us.”

Alex chuckled, looking back to Emilly. “So, if I taught your parrot ‘Go long!’ would it get that I want to play gridball?”

Emily chuckled, shaking her head. “Not really. They would probably just mimic you.”

Alex laughed, his confusion turning into amusement. “That’s still pretty amazing.”

Haley’s eyes twinkled as she subtly translated more of Emily’s complex info dump. Alex felt more engaged, his questions becoming more curious and genuine.

Emily left them for a moment to go fetch some of the enrichment toys she had bought. In the moment of quiet Alex turned to Haley, his gratitude evident.

“Thanks for making her easier to understand,” he whispered, leaning closer.

“Anytime, Lex.” Haley smiled leaning in with him, kissing him softly.

[evanorphia]

i want so badly to ship lilylene but i don’t see the vision 🙁 can you share some thoughts for lil ol’ me… heh [tiktok proud emoji]

hi e!!!! agh i love this question so much, you don’t understand. i’ve been thinking about lilylene a lot recently, slowly rotting my brain on lilylene and holyall tbh

okay so imagine

they both come from religious backgrounds and they both have complicated relationships with their faiths. marlene is from a catholic background and she knows that her parents would never support her being lesbian because of their faith. this is a fact that she knows, her parents have told her whether it be explicitly or not. lily, on the other hand, doesn’t really know her parents view on queer people but because she had never really been aware of the existence of queer people until she came to hogwarts once she realised that she herself was queer it took her a while to accept it, especially because everyone always said her and james would be perfect together. she was expected to end up with james, the golden boy and the golden boy, a perfect match – right? 

when they got together, lily found it easy to love marlene, in the same way marlene found it easy to love lily, but they both struggled with accepting the fact that they loved the other. marlene had already accepted the fact that she would never like a boy romantically and she found it easier to be in the relationship with lily although there was always that little voice in the back of her head telling her it was wrong. lily hadn’t even accepted this part of her fully though, especially not when they first started dating, and after a while they broke up. lily ended up getting with james, who she never had a problem accepting that she loved because he was a boy and she was a girl. but the thing is, james was also marlene’s best friend. lily broke up with marlene only to end up with marlene’s best friend, fun right?

furthermore, none of their friends ever really noticed that they were together. at first, they hid it, but after a while they didn’t but because everyone saw them as two best friends, only thinking of them platonically, not many of them really caught on and overlooked everything romantic between them, passing it off as two best friends. so, when they broke up, no one else was there to remember what they had. when they both died, no one else was there to tell the stories of how lily evans had once loved marlene mckinnon and how marlene mckinnon had once loved lily evans. and i don’t think after the break up that love they shared ever went away, sure they weren’t together anymore, but they still held the utmost love and respect for the other. it would always go beyond being platonic even if their relationship was only that – two best friends. because that’s what everyone thinks that they are, so why not be that. 

in another world, i think they could have had their fairytale romance, but i don’t think that makes sense for them in canon… or really in any of my AUs i have of them, if you’ve seen any of my edits then you’ve seen how like all of them have been depressing af. i think a lot of what they had was the two of them finding comfort in each other but not being able to accept the fact that the found comfort in the other, they’d always be stuck in this state of yearning after the breakup but not able to do anything because lily was with james.

in the words of my friend soavelee on tiktok: "it kind of has this feeling of „would they? will they?“ and the answer is YES THEY WILL but they could yell it from rooftops and the wind would carry it away and it would never reach the ears of those that mattered"

and now im gonna yap about the brand of lilylene where they never even get together

they have so much potential for a homoerotic friendship, pining over each other and occasionally progressing past things just friends do. but thats what they were, just friends. it was very much a state of limbo they were stuck in, but nothing really happened to take them out of it but neither of them cared much for that, they didn’t care that they may never be able to call the other theirs because they were content and happy with what they had already and that was what was beautiful about their relationship. they’d be supportive of the other if they ended up in a relationship with someone else but they were also so fucking happy to keep the other for themself. BUT THEY WERE NEVER EACH OTHERS. and that was fine. and that was the key thing. it was very much just a thing that happened once and they made no effort to change it

in terms of lilylene coded songs imo: you're not the only one - sam fender sailor song - gigi perez i love you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams maroon - taylor swift all my love - noah kahan free now - gracie abrams she calls me back - noah kahan (for a particularly angsty version of lilylene)

i hope my yap has been substantial for you and has maybe hopefully gotten you to ship them a bit more?? i'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts on lilylene and i would love to yap about them more, this yap was very quick and off the top of my head (also with some input from my friend) so it may not be 100% my best work. i also feel as though this is an appropriate time to say that i am working on a lilylene fic that is my second priority after devant

[bayofwolves]

Rereading Wild Born

Decided to continue doing these! I made a post for Hunted first, but now it's time to go back and recap my reread of Wild Born from a few weeks ago. These won't be full analyses, rather just details that I find interesting or missed when I was younger. I'm rereading the whole series to gather information for A Revised History of Erdas, so you may see some commentary on how I plan to change certain plot points.

Let's get into it!

If you've ever wondered what the tasselled thing on Abeke's waist in all her book cover appearances is, I'm quite sure it's a sort of a bag that she can store small items in.

The inside cover graphic depicts an arrow going through Uraza's body. I think that's a really neat touch, especially considering things that happen Later On.

Abeke drinks the Nectar of Ninani on her eleventh nameday, not birthday as Conor does. Do Niloans celebrate the day their parents named them, instead of the day on which they were born? Very interesting.

Abeke's Rain Dancer abilities are never explored. A real shame, especially since Uraza is the only member of the Fallen to not have a special power (Briggan has prophecy, Jhi has healing, Essix has uncanny insight). Uraza having weather-related powers would tie in nicely with Abeke's Rain Dancer role.

Zerif is wearing Euran clothing when he meets Abeke and her family, meaning that he was probably searching for Conor and Briggan in Eura prior to this. Obviously, he was unsuccessful.

Interestingly, Zerif knows Abeke's name without being told. We can gather from this that Yumaris's prophecy revealed the names of the four summoners. If true, this gives the Conquerors a stark advantage over the Greencloaks in the race to claim them. From their behaviour in the previous chapter, it appears Tarik and Isilla knew Briggan would be summoned that day, but did not know which of the three children would call him. (However, this is contradicted in a later chapter, when Tarik reveals they know Abeke's name thanks to Lenori.)

Meilin's mother, who died in childbirth, had a spirit animal who we know nothing about. Are they still alive? How did they handle the death of their human companion? Did Meilin ever interact with them at all? You'd think this would be an important thing to expand upon. The lack of information about Meilin's mom in general is criminal. (Same goes for Abeke's mother and Conor's entire family.)

Rollan is a full year older than the other three protagonists. His coming birthday, which would have occurred during this book, goes unmentioned, though.

Abeke claims Shane is 12, but he is said to have just turned 13 in The Book of Shane: Venom. Either the authors made a mistake, or Shane lied about his age for unknown reasons. In ARHoE, I stick with the two year age gap that Venom gives them.

I'm not sure if it was intended this way, but the fact that the pretend assassin goes for Shane in particular could be a hint at his true identity. There's another one of these instances in a later chapter: when Shane and Abeke walk up to a pair of guards, they bow to Shane before letting them through.

Tarik is described as "grim" and "the sort of stranger Rollan would have avoided on the streets of Concorba". For some reason I've always remembered him looking kind and open, rather than intimidating. But I like this better.

Whale-towed ships are unique to Erdas. So are the rockback whales themselves -- our first (of a few) species that only exists on Erdas! There's another one that's introduced in this book, Lenori's rainbow ibis.

Zerif speaks as if he hails from Stetriol -- a lie, since Shane places him as a foreigner when he first meets him. I quite like how mysterious he is. Any background he gives for himself is either untrue or too vague to decipher.

If Zerif and General Gar are to be believed, the early Greencloaks carried out a genocide in Stetriol after the First Devourer War. "Women, children -- the Greencloaks tried to wipe out all life on Stetriol, as if the common people were responsible for what the Devourer had done... The Greencloaks were ashamed of their actions and tried to hide the fact that Stetriol ever existed... They removed it from the histories and maps. But not all the people in Stetriol perished." Why isn't this talked about, like ever??!

Drina is actually mentioned in this book by Zerif! Abeke forgets about her, though, because in Rise and Fall she's surprised to learn that Shane has a sister. An opinion I alone hold is that Drina should have been involved in the series prior to Rise and Fall. It would have been the perfect opportunity for her to come along with Gar and Yumaris to recruit Abeke. (Spoilers: This happens in ARHoE.)

Meilin's classism and racism jumps out on practically every page. She constantly judges Rollan, Conor and later Abeke based on their lower social standings and calls the far west of Amaya (dominated by native tribes) "uncivilised". I will say, her character growth as the series progresses is astounding.

Long ago, the Four Fallen and the Devourer were prophesied to return. "The Devourer has returned. As promised," Tarik says to Barlow and Monte. I would like to know more about this prophecy. Who gave it? Tellun, maybe? Or did Feliandor himself, moments before his death, tell his enemies he'd be back someday?

Abeke doesn't know the names of all the Conquerors she went with to find Arax's talisman, which I feel is unrealistic. Abeke would care about that sort of thing, and it's not even a big group. But more than this, I wish this author worked to flesh the Conquerors out more, to humanize them, to have Abeke see them as friends past just Shane. It would have made her decision to switch sides hold more weight.

Shane breaks his leg in the final battle, thanks to Rollan. I'll bet Rollan loves to tell that tale. Maybe that's why Shane doesn't show up in Hunted -- he was bedridden for a few months! /j

Plot hole: Barlow is buried in Tarik's cloak, but that same cloak (which is described as tattered and worn, presumably from years of use) passes to Rollan in Rise and Fall.

You can take or renew your vows at any Greencloak stronghold, apparently. I used to think that could only be done at Greenhaven.

Gerathon's prison is just a massive mound of earth. For some reason, as a child I pictured her being imprisoned in a giant cage deep in some creepy, half-flooded, underground system of passages, like a sewer.

We never find out who the guy who freed Gerathon is. My best guess is Zerif. Who do y'all think it was?

Wild Born is as good an introductory book as ever, I'd say. Some have called it boring, but I found it enjoyable. Our protagonists are wonderful and I hope nothing horrible ever befalls them. (Spoilers...) Abeke's chapters with the Conquerors were the most interesting to me, but I'm heavily biased. A lot of missed opportunities for character development here, but don't worry, we'll get that in the coming books. I wish the worldbuilding was better -- but to be fair, these books aren't very long. There's only so much room to talk about each land's geography and history and religion.

Excited to rediscover what the future holds for our protagonists!

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[saintsenara]

If you’re still doing the ship game, what are your thoughts on Voldemort/Tonks? (Inspired mostly by the comparisons between Tonks and Bellatrix in the most recent chapter of One Year in Every Ten.)

anon, thank you so much for this ask - which has, to be quite honest, upended my world.

because i'd literally never thought about this ship before, but now i realise that i'm not only in line for a passport to vonks nation, i appear to be an accidental vonks sleeper cell...

i always write both bellatrix and andromeda as having personality types which map on very closely to the tonks we meet in order of the phoenix - funny, clumsy, cheeky, charismatic, bright, a bit naive, and possessed of an outrageous fashion sense.

there isn't a shipping reason behind this. it started way back when i was planning nor all that glisters gold and thinking about andromeda, and i realised i've never vibed with a fanon tendency to make her this incredibly haughty ice queen, and to suggest that all of tonks' vibrant or insincere personality traits are inherited from ted.

obviously - yes - andromeda doesn't come across as massively welcoming in her only canon appearance, but i think she can be forgiven this on the grounds that harry and hagrid have just destroyed half her garden, revealed that her daughter might have been murdered in a surprise death eater ambush, and shouted at her when harry mistakes her for bellatrix.

but nor, actually, does ted. and so i think it makes much more sense to imagine that they're both a bit curt because of the enormously dangerous situation they find themselves in, and that - outside of that context - andromeda is just as likely to be a great laugh as he is.

i should also say that i am really not a fan of the sort of "omg aristocrats are so brooding and mysterious" way of writing many of the pureblood characters in the series. and one of the things about this which i don't like is the way it reduces characters to gendered stereotypes, while rarely seeming to think critically about the actual gendered conventions which govern their lives we get a hint of in canon.

pureblood women are often reduced to descriptors such as "haughty", "mannered", "prim", "icy", and so on - and, yes, all of these are traits which are implied canonically about bellatrix and andromeda [and narcissa, sirius, and regulus as well...], but they are not traits which have to exist separately from ones we would associate with tonks.

because bellatrix is - canonically - both haughty and theatrical; both cruel and loyal; both in thrall to voldemort and willing to answer him back [it's always overlooked, i think, that, in half-blood prince she reveals that she's told the dark lord to his face that he's wrong to trust snape - that takes a pretty strong nerve!].

she's clever but not particularly cunning [she's a blunt instrument - subtlety is not her strong point]; incredibly charismatic [harry always notices her whenever she's in a room] but also quite artless interpersonally; entirely committed to her prejudiced beliefs and also clearly a little bit naive... her anger when harry says that voldemort's a half-blood in order of the phoenix is really striking when compared to the fact that lucius malfoy doesn't bat an eyelid - i have always thought that more of the death eaters are aware of voldemort's birth name and background than dumbledore believes, which malfoy basically confirms, and so i really like the insight this gives us into what bellatrix is unwilling to move beyond when it comes to the version of voldemort she has in her head.

and she's also someone who is clearly very affection-starved - and who can be written on the basis of her canon personality to be something of a hopeless romantic, and for the vision of romance she has to be quite idealistic and a bit girly. and this doesn't prevent her being a sadistic bigot who knows exactly what she's doing in the slightest - it just adds another layer to her character which i think is really interesting to explore.

i really like the complicated dissonance of her being proud to be the loyal lieutenant of a terrorist kingpin she believes is capable of magic beyond her wildest dreams and who rewards her for her service by not murdering her, and also her wishing to be wooed and sent roses and taken out dancing by a man who has never had the slightest intention of doing any such thing.

tonks also has that idealistic romantic streak - after all, she takes one look at the giant red flag lupin's waving and says "you son-of-a-bitch, i'm in" - and she also has the brains, charisma, bluntness, theatricality, loyalty, and ruthlessness of her aunt.

as an aside - i also really like these tonks-bellatrix comparisons because they undermine one of the series' lazier narrative conventions when it comes to writing women: that straightforwardly bad women can never have anything substantial in common with straightforwardly good ones. petunia has to be nothing like lily, for example, because lily is the series' central pinnacle of womanhood and petunia is a bitch.

the idea that tonks gets all the fun parts of her personality from her father is an offshoot of this. but i really like the fact that realising she is very like bellatrix would force harry et al. to actually reckon with the reality of what bellatrix did and to think critically, in contrast to the ministry's view that everything's fine with voldemort dead, about the conditions which enabled her radicalisation.

[i've written something touching briefly on this - everlasting ink - in which harry and ginny end up adopting delphini and discover she's both her mother's daughter and the reincarnation of a woman they adored.]

but to return, dazed and bleeding, to the vonks agenda...

it's an incontrovertible truth that voldemort mainly likes bellatrix because of her fanatical devotion to him, which enables him to use her freely as a tool for his own gain.

but this is not - i think it's reasonable to argue - the only reason he likes her. after all, she's not the only death eater who goes to azkaban rather than betray him, but he's not going around calling rabastan his favourite...

and her slight bolshiness evidently does contribute to his fondness for her.

the canonical voldemort clearly thinks of himself [even if, let's be real, he's wrong] as someone who doesn't like sycophants. he has no interest in hearing nott sr. gab at him following his resurrection; he is perfectly happy to be told by augustus rookwood that the way he's being going about trying to retrieve the prophecy is wrong; one of the things which drives his humiliation of lucius malfoy in the dark lord ascending is that he's fully aware that the malfoys hate having him squatting in their house, but that lucius would never have the backbone to tell him this. his trust in snape is implied, particularly in deathly hallows, to be connected to what he perceives as a frankness in the way snape speaks to him - him telling snape that he "sounds like lucius" just before he kills him is a way of him letting snape know that he thinks he's being shifty [which - of course - he thinks is because snape knows he's the true master of the elder wand].

he is also theatrical, charismatic, interpersonally offputting [in a context where you weren't afraid of him, think how annoying his tendency to witter would be], clever, strangely loyal [i talk about this a lot, but the fact that he berates wormtail for betraying james and lily - even though this is exactly what he wanted - is really striking], transcendentally attention-starved, and so on. and he clearly respects the idea of constructing one's own identity in defiance of social convention - his favour permits bellatrix to behave in a way which is clearly unusual for a woman of her social class and snape to be ranked higher than richer purebloods who should look down on him, for example.

and he's also - in his own way - a little bit of an idealist too. the elaborate fantasy he's shown to have constructed for himself as a child - that his father was a wizard [who, i presume, he imagines will reveal himself after dumbledore's visit, now that it's safe to do so], that his mother wouldn't have died if she'd mattered, that his father doesn't emerge because he's also dead [he doesn't realise he's alive until he visits morfin!] - is something he uses to self-soothe, and he's hugely rattled by anything which undermines his belief in this dreamscape. just as bellatrix is by any hint that he's not an almighty pureblood god.

and, above and beyond this - even though this is a much more controversial thing to say - he's also capable of being a hopeless romantic himself when he wants to be... it's astonishing to me that we as a fandom don't make more of the fact that he thinks that his parents were in love, that tom riddle sr. was responsible for naming him [even though he's shown in chamber of secrets to know that merope chose his names], and that his father only abandoned his mother because she revealed her magic to him. there is absolutely no chance that he heard this from either morfin or tom sr. - he just makes it up! - and yet he clearly believes, even as an adult, that there was a world of happy families he was denied by his father's lack of chivalry. and i think this adds a really interesting dimension to his obvious loneliness which is tremendous fun to explore.

in a context where the fact that she's an order member is insignificant to him, then, i think it's entirely plausible that he wouldn't hate tonks - which is, for him, essentially a proposal of marriage - on the basis of her similarity to his erstwhile fave.

and tonks, for her part, clearly has a horrible weakness for cruel, emotionally-unavailable, self-loathing men who are cheerfully capable of murder.

i don't not back it...

as a postscript, my two favourite tonks-voldemort moments in canon: the fact that, in the middle of planning a coup, he's taken time out of his day to learn that she's married lupin [it's giving xoxo gossip girl!]; and the fact that her wasting away from unrequited love in half-blood prince is exactly what happens to merope.