#that scene where James comes out to Sirius who doesn’t give a fuck because Remus is naked in bed

[no-context-nonsense]

We're crying again, motherfuckerssss

[remuslupinslittleslut]

Amy's Kinkmas Day Nine

Threesome - Jegulus x Reader (background poly!marauders x reader)

Kinkmas Masterlist.

For Christmas, you decided to give your boyfriends’ exactly what they wanted. They each would get their own magical experience, but the first one to receive his was James. You had asked Sirius and Remus to help you set up, and they had certainly lived up to your expectations. James was spread out on your bed, hands and ankles tied to all four corners of the bed, blindfold on.

Across the room were two chairs, where you had asked the other two of your boyfriends to sit, you wanted them to watch, as they were part of the relationship, and this would for sure be a show no one would want to miss.

Your preparations were extensive, you had to get yourself, and your surprise ready. Dressing the both of you in dark red lingerie, little panties and you in a corset type bra, your surprise in a bralette. You had helped each other curling each other’s hair, applying charcoal eyeliner and dark red lipstick. Blush wasn’t needed, your cheeks were naturally reddened from the situation.

Before the scene started, you snuck up on the two men in chairs, using handcuffs to keep them in their chairs, telling them to stay perfectly quiet so as to not ruin the surprise, and they both nodded in agreement, still not knowing what they were in for.

Two pairs of feet padded across the floor, eliciting a sharp gasp from Sirius – he had not expected this. There you were, looking as pretty as ever, dragging behind you, holding onto your hand, his baby brother. Reaching James’ bed, you lean down to kiss his lips, drawing a moan from the tied up man. At the same time, Regulus started kissing down his lean chest, trying to avert his gaze from the leaking cock.

“Does it feel good love?” You ask James, nails running down his upper arm.

“Yes, baby, feels so good”, he moans, as Regulus lips have made their way back up his body, pink tongue circling a hardened nipple.

“Wanna see who’s kissing you Jamie?” You let one hand tug on his hair, providing the light pain he loved so much. He nods excitedly, and your hand pushes his blindfold away, moving down the bed and taking Regulus with you. “What the-” James eyes are wide, looking down at you and Regulus, watching you kiss right in front of his hard cock, standing pink and pretty, before his eyes move up, making eye contact with Sirius.

He doesn’t have time to telepathically converse with his friend, however, because soon you’re letting his cock join in on the make out, forcing a loud moan from his lips.

You lightly push Regulus away, moving your head to take his entire length in your mouth. Regulus doesn’t appreciate this treatment and, petty as he is, pulls you away by the hair, taking your place and letting his nose settle in dark tufts of hair. You scoff, but decide to focus on James’ pleasure, so you let your lips lick right below Regulus’ chin, paying attention to James’ balls.

Constant sounds are coming from both above and behind the two of you, James’ hips bucking, pushing his cock further down Regulus’ throat, making him choke and having to come up for air. As he’s coughing, trying to catch his breath, you take back your place, sucking James’ cock back down your throat.

“Fuck, love, stop, stop”, he’s rushing the words out, making you pull away and look up at him. He didn’t use a safeword, but this is a new situation so you feel the need to stop and listen, “don’t wanna come yet, you’re so sexy, the both of you. Can I please touch you?” he asks, looking between the two of you, cheeks rosy and eyes glossy.

You look to Regulus, who nods his consent for untying James, letting him untie his ankles as you untie his hands. Pausing, for a moment, you hold James’ face in your hands, kissing him softly, “love you, merry christmas.” Another kiss.

When he’s completely untied, you guide Regulus to straddle James’ hips, “untie your gift, baby”. This makes Regulus shiver. You had discussed this beforehand, you knew how badly he wanted James to touch him, knew he’d dreamt of this for forever.

You watch as James takes his time in appreciating his gift, hands roaming over the smaller, paler boy. The dark red lace in stark contrast to the skin of his chest. Regulus’ whole body moves as James’ hand moves over an erect nipple, the both of them moaning. You can tell how much the two of them are enjoying this, love watching to people you care about appreciate each other’s touch. James’ hands grip the globes of Regulus’ arse, spreading the cheeks apart.

“You can fuck him, you know”, you say, “I’ve already prepped him for you, wanted you to get the full experience.” You tug at Regulus’ hair, not wanting him to forget that James is your boyfriend. James’ eyes widened again, still surprised at the limits of his Christmas present. “Do you… want that?” He asks, looking Regulus straight in the eye.

Regulus moans, loud, again, “God yes, please Potter”, he mewls, hips moving back and forth, grinding against James’ cock. You help them get into position, one hand covered in lube coming down to make sure Regulus is still ready to take James, guiding him up on his knees, and then down, helping him get filled up with James’ cock. You sit behind Regulus, on your knees, guiding his body in his endeavor to bounce up and down on your boyfriend’s erection.

“Love, please, can you come up here, wanna taste you, please”, James is begging for you, and this is his gift so you have to comply. Leaving Regulus to move along James’ cock on his own, you get up, push your panties down, before straddling James’ head, wet pussy hovering above his face. His hands wrap around your thighs, pulling you down, dripping lips making contact with his tongue.

And this is James’ wettest of dreams. Cock stuffed in a pretty twink, his girlfriends leaking pussy above his face, his two other lovers watching and enjoying the show. This is heaven on earth, this is all he’s ever wanted. His hips start moving to meet Regulus’, balls slapping the other boy’s arse – his arms pulling you down closer, tongue licking fervently, craving the taste of his girl’s juices.

This is how all three come, James, buried deep in Regulus, Regulus’ cum shooting over James’ stomach, you, seated on James’ face. It’s a lot of limbs to untangle as the three of you come down from your highs. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you have two other partners to untie, looking over at them, you see the hunger in their eyes.

“Wanna help those two out, as well?” You ask Regulus, one eyebrow raised. He follows your line of sight, seeing your two other boyfriends, “Only if it’s okay with you”, he says, looking back at James, who nods, always happy to share.

Taking Regulus’ hand, you drag him with you, shoving him towards Remus, hearing someone say something about this being the beginning of a very long night.

Kinkmas taglist: @alexander-arcturus-black-lupin @hearts4court @delulu4marauders @remussbitch 

[resident-gay-bitch]

dude can i hear more abt ur barty/sirius wips?? i think your take on them could be soo good

YESS absolutely you can. I hope to finish them but my worth ethic is abysmal. I have about 30 wips (I’m not kidding, last time I counted was last year tho so I’m sure it’s more now…) that I’m super passionate about but cannot delegate my time between them lmao

Anyway…..

I’m going into detail for these wips cause I have so many feelings about them so get ready to be fed lmao. Warning for 18+ smutty content? No explicit sex scenes but sex is mentioned a lot.

⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️

My most recent one is set in their last few weeks at Hogwarts (trans Barty!) (in this Barty is a Ravenclaw in the same year as the Marauders) (He and Pandora are best friends, and Pandora is twins with Evan who’s in Slytherin in the year below with Reggie and Dorcas. At this point in the fic Sirius and Reggie have healed their relationship and are civil and their groups often cross paths). It begins at Remus’ birthday party in their dorm room.

Sirius goes to find Remus, who he’s been in love with for like 7 years at this point, not completely one sided but nothings ever happened because Remus has a lot of internalised homophobia. sirius has it in his head they’ll be able to kiss and get together once they leave school and live in a place of their own where no one will see. (But Sirius’ feelings certainly aren’t a secret. The whole school knows because Sirius, just like James, is a hopeless romantic. And after moving in with the Potters and gaining a strong male role model, he mimics Fleamonts behaviours, who is very very affectionate and romantic towards his wife)

However, when he finds Remus, he comes face to face with Remus snogging the shit out of Regulus and his heart breaks and he’s very angry. Barty is watching them too, and he tells Sirius to build a bridge and get over it, however he also gives kinda decent advice that lingers with sirius for a moment.

Sirius of course cracks the shits and cries to James and Lily about it right away, and they look after him before he escapes them for the bathroom (and James storms off with some very stern words for Remus lol) and ends up in a game of 7 minutes of heaven with the queer lot of Hogwarts in the bathroom. He and Barty get shoved into the closet together.

At first it’s all snarky remarks and Barty confesses he’s been in love with Regulus for years too, and they bond over their hurt feelings and egos. However, Barty kinda let Regulus use him as they’ve been doing it with no strings attached for ages because Barty is a whore like that (he has feelings, really, he does, he just pretends he doesn’t). Barty tells sirius to just go fuck the feelings away, Sirius confesses he’s a total virgin and was saving himself for Remus, crazy times.

They end up making out so bad, cause Barty is the school whore, and also knows it would really piss Regulus off if they hooked up. So he sinks his hooks in until Sirius breaks and is like fuck it. So they make out and Barty gives him a hand job, and at this point their 7 minuets is up and everyone outside knows what they’re doing, but they don’t care. And right as Sirius finishes Reggie and Remus unlock the door and find them like that and it causes so much drama.

Sirius is of course heartbroken, because Reggie and Remus have been going out for a bit now in secret, but to get over it he’s encouraged to enter his slut era. James tells him he really deserves a blowjob.

So Sirius starts sleeping around but he can’t shake the knowledge that every hookup he has is shit compared to Barty, and he starts becoming obsessed with him.

He watches Barty on the map every night, and when he sees Barty alone in the astronomy tower one night he goes to find him. He tries to initiate a hookup to return the favour, but Barty is adamant on not receiving for some reason, which Sirius obsesses over. They end up talking instead and stargazing together.

Barty confesses he’s always wished on Regulus’ star for good luck, which Sirius tells him off for because the Sirius star is the wishing star, it’s the brightest, maybe he should wish on that one instead.

(Sirius is not aware how badly that fucks Barty up. And he does start wishing on it and falling very very hard for Sirius because he’s a pathetic pathetic man). He’d kill to be loved by Sirius the way Sirius has loved Remus.

Sirius keeps finding him and they do more talking than anything else, because Barty refuses to let Sirius give him head or anything. But things happen, working around that, which Sirius decides is the best sex of his life.

They’re dancing around eachother over their last few weeks, keeping their blossoming romance a secret, even from eachother really. They are not good at admitting their feelings because Barty doesn’t want to get used again (even though he’s already letting Sirius use him for sex) and Sirius is not ready to experience unrequited love again.

Also Barty is friends with Regulus and is of the odd sort that everyone lumps in with the Slytherins. So basically Sirius is falling for a Slytherin by association and that is totally against Gryffindor code.

In their last few nights at school, things change. They find eachother in the astronomy tower for their midnight dates, things get steamy, and again Barty is like “oh you don’t have to get me off at all I’ll just blow you” to which Sirius just snaps.

He’s thinking Barty isn’t attracted to him or something and they have a bit of a fight about it, where Barty confesses it’s because he doesn’t have a dick. This throws Sirius through a loop, and Barty explains that he’s trans, and that’s why he doesn’t ever let anyone get him off.

Sirius tells him he doesn’t mind, and they fuck about it, and get to share that experience with eachother for the first time.

Anyway, they get out of school and start going out and Regulus is not cool about it but they both don’t really care.

Because Sirius has someone who loves him back and is quite obsessed with him (Sirius has not gone a day since without Bartys mark on him somewhere, weather that’s hickies or bitemarks or literal cuts cause Barty is insane (and eventually tattoos).). He’s just so happy to finally be wanted.

And Barty is over the moon because Sirius wears his marks with pride, has no shame in loving who Barty really is, and gives him lavish declarations of love. Barty always thought things like valentines were awful and cheesy but he loves them with Sirius.

⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️

The first one I ever started writing was like, not even intended to be Barty x Sirius, it was supposed to be bartylus & wolfstar but then about 1 and a half chapters in the horrors got to me and I was like WAIT-

So that fic is centered around Sirius’ time in Azkaban, where his and Bartys cells are next to eachother and seperated only by like metal bars (whereas all the other walls are stone so they can’t see any of the other inmates).

Sirius is slowly slipping into insanity over the first year, counting every single day that goes by with a stone etched into the wall. Barty just watches, never saying a word, from the shadowy side of his cell. Sirius begins to think Barty is just an illusion after a while. He’s also tormented because in this Peter is just diabolical, and he sneaks into Azkaban as a rat on James and Lilys 1 year death anniversary just to taunt Sirius and manages to twist Sirius mind so he’s under the impression he actually did betray his best friend in the whole world which then literally turns him insane.

Barty is already insane by this point and he gets a kick out of Sirius losing his mind and starts to talk to him. His intention is probably to drive Sirius mad, but it actually accidentally helps them both find some of their sanity again. Human conversation is very healthy after all.

Barty asks Sirius all about Remus, because he figured it out after a few months that the moon Sirius was spewing romantic crap too was actually Remus in his imagination.

He then confesses he was in love with Regulus, and it was a doomed narrative right from the start. This connects them, because they talk about regulus with eachother, and Barty asks if he can touch Sirius’ face through the bars, because he looks so much like his brother and Barty doesn’t want to lose the memory.

And so they begin a routine, they confide in eachother (and yes, it’s difficult for sirius at first, befriending a deatheater, but 12 years alone will have him desperate. Also sirius believes he is the filth that the whole world has dubbed him), and Barty closes his eyes to feel Sirius’ face to remember Reggie.

However, he starts doing it more often with his eyes open. And they start talking about regulus less and less. And they start to fall in love with one another. For 12 years, they are All the other has.

Eventually, Sirius gets his shit together and breaks out of Azkaban, and “forgets” all about Barty. He’s torn, and slips back into his relationship with Remus but it doesn’t feel the same. He doesn’t love Remus anymore, Remus believed he was the traitor, never even tried to visit, never even wrote him. He’s also filled with guilt for falling in love with a death eater, especially one of Voldemorts favourites.

Then they meet eachother again on the battle field, the fight in OOTP specifically. It’s a big fight so they’re kind of ignoring eachother and pretending they don’t know things about eachother no one else does. Sirius is coming to terms with the fact that Barty was in fact real and he does love him.

Then of course, Bella goes to kill Sirius. And that’s when all hell breaks loose because Barty is the one to try and stop her with a harrowing scream.

Anyway, that’s that one summed up. I’m kinda crazy about it, haven’t thought about it in agessssss so thanks for letting me rehash my memory :))

⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️

I thought I had a third wip but I actually did post it! For @/marauders-rarepair-fics prompt in June I think?! It should be on my masterlist at the top of my blog if you’re interested in reading ;)

⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️🔪⭐️

Thanks for asking this!!! It was really fun to talk about these since I haven’t before lmao. They’ve been sitting stashed in my mind for a while now and I need to get back to writing them. I think I got like 2-3 chapters deep into the Azkaban one, and I think maybe halfway through for the Hogwarts set one :)

Also sorry about the late response! I was asleep all day cause I’m sick :/

[witchofimber]

Certain Dark Things

I'm being deliberately coy about tagging this, but cw for vomit and gore and lots of sadness

James didn’t show up drunk.  

Remus had expected him to. Had told Sirius the night before - “You can drink as much as you want tonight. But tomorrow morning, you need to be sober.”  

Sirius had opened the whiskey with his teeth. “Fuck. You.”  

“Yeah, I’m a real bitch. Making sure that James doesn’t have to deal with his sloppy-drunk best friend at the – you know what? Forget it. Do whatever you want.”  

“James is going to be drunk!” yelled Sirius as Remus stalked away.  

“James gets to!” He’d slammed the door behind him.  

Once upon a time their bickering had had a warmth to it. Another thing to be buried.  

So Sirius wasn’t drunk, but neither was James, and somehow that was worse. He stood there, one step in front of Sirius and Remus, his face hard and cold as a marble saint. He didn’t even seem to feel the rain.  

Everyone knew what James had done. Everyone, and no one was talking about it. But Sirius and Remus were the only ones who had the truth of it; the full, bloody extent. Moody had pulled them into his office three days ago and showed them the crime scene photographs.  

“I’m not going to arrest anyone over this,” he’d said. “And as far as I’m concerned, I don’t know who did this. It’s a cold case. It’ll be lost in the system by the end of the month.” 

“I don’t understand,” said Sirius. “There’s a fucking war on, why would anyone be - “ 

Remus trod on his foot. “Thank you, Alistair.” 

“Remus, are you - “ 

“Look,” he hissed. “Sirius, look at the fucking photos.”  

Sirius looked. And looked. Even when Moody pulled them back into the folder, Sirius kept his eyes on the woodgrain of the table where the image had been. Remus didn’t need to. Those images had burrowed inside him, squatting nestled in his cortex to writhe like maggots. He’d never be free of them again. 

Moody had swallowed, coughed. “I just – they'll disappear, like I said. But I thought someone should probably know.” 

After that, Sirius had started drinking about it. Remus had stuck to chain-smoking and staring at the walls and occasionally walking around his flat and calmly, methodically breaking things. He was running low on smokes and plates and patience.  

Lily’s sister was there. She’d left her husband at home but bought her baby, and Remus wanted to beat her bloody just for that. Halfway through the service the little brat had started crying, and James had given his first sign of life. A single flex of his fingers. Like he almost reached out.  

Now they were outside and the sister – Petunia, that was it – was giving James little half-glances out of the corner of her eye, like she wasn’t sure whether she should speak to him or not. Remus bared his teeth at her until she looked away. No one was getting near James.  

The parson was still talking, something sombre and soothing. The priest had been a mistake. Watching anyone talk about God at a time like this was laughable, obscene. All of this was obscene – the Weasleys clutching each other’s hands, and Amelia Bones probably already writing a press conference about this in her head like the dark could be pushed back through sensible legislation, and Alice Longbottom curled in on herself like a dying flower, with Dumbledore hovering protectively behind her. Dumbledore would want to talk to him afterward, find out what he’d learnt when he was undercover with the Yorkshire pack. The mission he’d blown, because he’d heard the news and come running. Well, Dumbledore could eat shit.  

Three days ago, he and Sirius had fucked for the last time. It had been awful – emotionally, obviously, but also just objectively bad sex. Out of rhythm, teeth gritted, eyes closed. Remus had dug his hands into Sirius’s hips and thought I have to know, I have to -  

After, lying back-to-back, he’d asked, “Why didn’t James tell me you’d switched the secret keeper?”  

“Because we thought you were the traitor.” He didn’t roll over, didn’t even look at Remus. Remus considered screaming, or cursing him, or punching him in the kidneys. Instead he just got out of bed. There wasn’t much point in doing otherwise.  

The parson paused. Everyone was looking at them – no, at James. There was something expected here. Words? No, James had said he didn’t want to speak.  

Sirius coughed. “James, it’s time to - “ 

“I know.” His voice was the closing of a great cell door. “I know.”  

James bent, digging his fingers through a mound of earth. He stretched out his arm. And then he stood, paralysed. A single crumb of earth teetered, toppled, was caught with his thumb.  

The moment stretched, lingered. Everyone was frozen in amber, waiting for James to make his move. Cry, Remus found himself begging. Cry, scream, something. Just don’t follow them down.  

And then James gasped like he’d been punched and dropped the dirt.  

It was tradition. That’s what you did at funerals, you let the loved ones scatter the earth, close the grieving, some Christian bullshit that Remus didn’t remember. But he covered his mouth against a scream as it fell.  

Lily’s coffin gleamed darkly, swallowing the dirt into ink. It was a fine thing, even finer because it was so exactly itself – a box, a prop, an object you understood from Halloween cut-outs and film scenes before you ever had to face one in life. If you worked hard, you could say it wasn’t real. You could pretend there was no one inside.  

But the coffin on top was too small. You couldn’t unknow its contents. You couldn’t unknow the dimensions of the tiny body inside.  

And the cruelty, the useless cruelty of – of making a man start to bury his wife and son.  

“We pray - “ said the parson, and suddenly James was spinning on his heel, stalking down the hill and away from the church. Dumbledore moved forward, and Remus barked ‘NO’ and set off after James, Sirius dogging his heels. Nobody followed them. It was either cowardice or mercy.  

The mud sent him and Sirius slipping into each other. James’s footsteps were sure. Even the earth seemed to give way for his passage. And hadn’t he earned it? What could dirt do in the face of such grief? The trees of the little copse by the graveyard seemed to snatch away from him, even as they flung themselves into Sirius and Remus’s faces. The thorns that raked his cheek were almost a relief. It was something to feel. He hadn’t felt anything since the news.  

James stopped by the fence, hands gripping the gnarled wood. Remus stopped; Sirius didn’t. He was at James’s side in a second, all careful hands and cooing voice, so unlike anything he’d ever been with Remus. It was enough to make one hate Sirius. Remus felt the bitterness in his throat. There were thoughts that should send you straight to hell, and he had one then. I’m the least loved now. To think that at a funeral. He had deserved Greyback. He had deserved everything, and maybe Sirius had too, but James hadn’t. James, who had been kind.  

I don’t even know what some of these spells are, Moody had said.  

“James,” murmured Sirius, and then James turned and vomited in the dirt.  

Remus stared at that red, wet mound. There had been nothing recognisable in the images Moody had shown them. Human mince. No hand that had once followed Remus’s in Charms; no mouth that had once said we could call it the Marauder’s Map. Wait – there had been an eyeball, anointed in a halo of gristle and bone. Pale blue, bloodshot. Like he’d been crying when he died.  

I’ve seen a lot of shit, Moody had said, but I didn’t know magic could do that to a body. 

Too late, always too late, Remus stumbled forward. “We’re here, James. If you want to – talk.”  

Stupid. Fucking stupid. What could there possibly be to say? What could language do, what was its point, in a world where this could happen, where high on the hill that grave was being filled? They should line up the whole world and cut out their tongues. Harry is dead. Let that be the last sentence.  

“No.” James straightened up, vanished the vomit with a wave of his hand. Remus almost wished for it back. Evidence of humanity. There was nothing in his face that had ever loved. It was like looking out into the far whistling plains of being, great dark vistas of emotion where terrible things moved in the shadows. Frank Longbottom had faced those depths and gone insane. Frank might have been lucky.  

We had to put him down ourselves, said Moody. There was nothing else to be done. We couldn’t heal him but – it was still moving.  

“No,” said James again. “I don’t want to talk. I want to win this war.”  

[seriouslysam8]

I’ve noticed you portray Sirius as someone who Harry adored more than his parents, as a baby it seems like you’re trying to say he always have sought Sirius out over Jily and I can’t imagine a baby doing that. Every baby adores their parents (unless they’re abusive) and will pick them over anyone else. Maybe Sirius was the fun uncle and he loved that but I can’t see Harry choosing to cuddle up with Sirius over Jily. It just feels like sometimes you try to down play the love Harry had for his parents (especially James) because now he has Sirius as a father. Just because he got robbed of the chance of knowing them the Potters family history doesn’t mean he would put them out of his mind now that he’s got Sirius. His parents sacrificed their lives for him, there is no greater love than that and it seems like Harry doesn’t recognize that in Brumous.

My kids always picked me in social settings until about a year old. Now I’m chopped fucking liver when my childless brothers come for a visit. They give piggy back rides, they wrestle, they wait on them hand and foot, they will say yes to everything. I’ve watched for months as my youngest kid (who is a toddler) has bounded over to them when they arrive at my house and basically says, “See ya, mom!” I mean, I don’t rough house with my kids. I’m more of a cuddle and let’s read a story or play a nice game together kind of mom. So when my brothers come through that door and play differently than I do, they always pick my brothers. I’m not offended by it or upset. It’s nice that they get so excited to see family. They’re more than welcome to cuddle with their uncles. It means I can enjoy a cup of coffee without worrying it’s going to be spilled all over me.

That’s not to say my kids (especially my little toddler) doesn’t love me. If they get hurt when their uncles are over, they still run to me the put on the band aid and kiss their boo-boos. But social kids get excited when the fun uncles come over. Especially the ones who give them undivided attention. A parent playing with them is old news. A new person who is willing to say yes to everything is always exciting. Even for a small child who can barley talk, it’s super fun.

I think the thing that needs to be remembered, especially as I write teenage Harry’s and Sirius’ relationship, is that Harry doesn’t remember his parents. He dreamt of them, not even knowing what they looked like, because the Dursleys abused him. He dreamt of someone rescuing him from his shit family situation. It’s not like Harry doesn’t love his parents. He does. But he can’t remember anything about them.

If you need any clues that Harry relied on Sirius and viewed him as a father, then look no more than the DH scene where Harry sees his family again. James and Lily both comfort him. But Harry doesn’t say anything. But he asks if it hurts to die. Who responds? Sirius. Now, in the movie, Harry directs this question to Sirius but in the books he just asks. But I think it’s very telling that Sirius is the one to respond to his first question. His second question of if they’ll stay with him? Yeah, James answers that question.

I don’t think Harry discounts his parents’ sacrifice. I don’t think Harry loves his parents any less than he did before Sirius came into his life. But Sirius is the one in his life. Sirius is the one risking his life and is always there for him. It’s easier to love the person you know than to love the people you can’t remember even meeting.

I played off this a lot in the MIT series with Harry’s relationship with Teddy. I got the same kind of comments that Teddy didn’t seem to even care about Remus and Tonks. That it was wrong that Teddy called Harry and Ginny his dad and mum (because in this series they raised him from when he was a very young toddler). But Teddy in that series, much like Harry in this series, didn’t remember his parents. I wholeheartedly believe that if Sirius never went to Azkaban and he raised Harry, Harry would have called him dad. But these dead parents are like these fairy tale characters, heroes and making sacrifices for their kids.

But at the end of the day, they’re dead. There are no concrete memories of them. Harry only has Sirius. Harry only knows Sirius. He knows Sirius’ temperament, the way he jokes, how he takes his eggs, and a whole slew of information that he will never know about his parents. His parents will always be these mystic people because he has no memories. But Sirius is there. Sirius is real. Sirius is alive. You can’t blame Harry for clinging onto that relationship.

[anopoulos]

Is Harry out of character in Cursed Child?

I’ve seen some people talking about Harry’s characterisation on CC, both on twitter and on tiktok, and I think the people saying that Harry was not out of character when he yelled at Albus and said what he said in the blanket scene are kind of missing the point. (And I’m getting kind of tired of seeing people arguing about it using reasoning that is difficult to disagree with without sounding like an asshole. Anyway.)

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that Harry might have had reason to get angry with Albus in the scene. And he is kind of justified, because Albus was kind of rude. Especially because we’ve seen Harry reacting aggressively when someone (basically, in the case with Albus) talked shit about his parents. I’m talking about that fight he had with Draco in book 5, after Draco talked shit about both Molly and Harry’s parents. But he reacted like that because a) Draco was explicitly trying to get a reaction out of him by explicitly and intentionally offending Lily and James and b) Draco had been his rival for years now, and Harry had wanted a reason to punch him in the face for years as well.

I cannot deny that Harry has PTSD. He has the traits and reactions that give me reason to believe that, yes, he does, especially when it comes to his parents. But he’s had time to deal with it. He’s the fucking Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He must’ve some time learned to be a little bit level headed. Especially towards his family. 

Also, how the fuck did he not learn to control his anger yet? He had two boys before Albus: Teddy Remus Lupin and James Sirius Potter.  

I know what the writers were trying to do. We are all aware of Caps-Lock Harry. But the circumstances where that happens couldn’t be more divergent from each other. Between being in a war while actively not being told about anything that’s going on by the people he’s supposed to respect and listen to (blindly, some might say), and hearing his obviously depressed child trying to tell him that he doesn’t meet the expectation that everyone at school set for him because of who his father is shouldn’t cause the same reaction. 

When Albus says he wished Harry wasn’t his father, he was clearly talking about the institution of Harry Potter, the war hero. He wasn’t talking personally about Harry, and that’s exactly what he did. And when Harry said he wished he wasn’t his son, then how else can Albus take that aside personally? Harry basically made it explicit that, yes, everything that Albus feared about himself (him not being good enough, talented enough, just… enough) was actually true, and Harry agreed with it.

At the same time Harry’s justified to become angry, he isn’t justified to become aggressive towards his child. Maybe to call him a bad dad is wrong, and to affirm that he wouldn’t be a perfect dad from the start is not wrong, but what I feel like is: 

Harry became an intensified version of his flaws in the name of conflict. He would never react like that towards his own fucking family, because he knows what it’s like to be yelled at by an adult, and I refuse to believe he wouldn’t want to be better than Vernon fucking Dursley. 

Short answer: Yes, he is.

[rollercoasterwords]

Random question about your perspective on peter and like why he betrayed james? Like he genuinely seemed so neutral and like more james' friend than anyone elses throughout the story and then bam turns on him and not only that but like arguably sirius kinda fucked w him more or was meaner (?) to him and james stood up for him so ??? Idk i just was wondering if you had any thoughts? (Ps also seriously your entire fic is amazing and i loved your version of the reveal to james!!!!) ♡♡♡

oooh okay such a fun question but also one of the things that i feel like i’ve struggled most with in this rewrite! like i totally agree with what you’re saying, i feel like in a lot of fics it’s sort of hard to see where peter was coming from and what would lead him to betray his friends, especially james. this will probably become a SUPER long and rambly answer because it’s something i’ve discussed w my sister a lot haha

i think one of the main things informing the way i see peter in atyd specifically is the fact that, canonically, the fidelius charm works so that the secret keeper can only share the secret WILLINGLY, so it can’t be coerced or tortured out of them. i think some people sort of want some kind of redemption for peter, and will headcannon that he was coerced into telling the secret or that he was just really really scared and that’s why he did it. but in a canon-compliant fic, i kind of think there needs to be more behind it. i think peter had to WANT to tell the secret to voldemort.

so, this is something i’m still working on with how i want to portray peter in this rewrite. but basically, what i think is going on in peter’s head is this sort of slow build of resentment over the Hogwarts years that just absolutely spirals during the war. like i think peter has to be almost obsessed with james when they’re young, and that that obsession doesn’t go away as they grow older--all he wants is james’s attention, to be jame’s best friend the way james is his. but obviously, peter consistently gets pushed to the side in the marauders, and then he gets dumped by all his girlfriends--i think his teenage years would send him down this sort of incel path of feeling like he’s being denied the love/attention which he is entitled to. like james was HIS first, and everyone else is stealing james away from him.

at the same time, i think peter is definitely much smarter than people give him credit for and sort of learns how to manipulate the people around him by playing up the fact that he’s always relegated to this pathetic role in friend groups--like oh, look at me, feel sorry for me, nobody loves me, i’m just this unobtrusive nice guy and i deserve better. i tried to sort of hint at that in the scene where remus is in the woods and sirius yells at pete for running away--peter’s first defense is to start crying, to make everyone feel sorry for him when he feels like he’s being accused of doing something wrong. so i think he resents that he’s seen as sort of weak and dumber than the rest of the marauders, but as he grows older he learns how to manipulate it to his advantage--and then resents the people that he manipulates, for believing this facade that he’s playing into.

anyway, i think during the war that voldemort is probably the first person to sort of validate peter’s worldview--to say yes, you ARE entitled to more, and it’s NOT your fault that you’re always coming second best; there ARE people who are taking away the love and the attention that you deserve. i think voldemort also offers peter his first real taste of power, and the combination of validation + the promise of recognition are what draws him in. as far as his betrayal of james goes--i think love and hate are two emotions that are extremely closely linked, and going back to peter’s obsession with james, i think that it’s really easy for that love to turn into hate when he feels spurned over and over and over again. not sure yet what i think the sort of “final straw” would be, but i’m hoping to figure that out as i write!

anyway thanks for messaging + thanks for reading my fic! i’m sure you weren’t expecting a literal essay but as i’ve said before, i’ll take any excuse to ramble on about all this stuff :)     

[dear-evanrosier]

Favorite Nightmare

masterlist

TW: Descriptions of gore and blood, suicidal thoughts/mentions

Sirius sniggered as Rosier shrieked and ran down the hallway, away from the large spider. Remus and Peter were doubled over in laughter as James was torn between laughing and also backing away from the spider. 

The clicking of shoes came, making sharp noises against the stone. “Hello?” 

A voice called into the dark and Sirius straightened, his signature smirk playing across his lips. “Looks like my dear baby brother has stumbled upon us. Let��s see what he’s scared of. Probably going to be Mummy saying she’s disappointed in him.” He scoffed and Remus put a hand on his shoulder. “Love, maybe we shouldn’t-” 

“No, I want to see what he’s so terrified of. Can’t be Mother if he decided to stay in that horrid place.”

Remus sighed and directed his attention to where Sirius was looking, waiting for the younger Black to come through the doorway. He did, only a moment later. 

He was pale, paler than he usually was. Dark circles lined under his eyes, making the piercing silver color appear brighter. He wasn’t dressed in school robes, as he should be, but instead the under part of it. Black dress slacks, a white button-up tucked in. His school tie hung undone around his neck, and his hair was mussed as if someone had run their hands through it. A mark or two adorned his neck, only visible because the first two buttons of his shirt were undone.  He looked sick, if not thoroughly sleep-deprived. 

“Sirius, he doesn’t look right.” James cautioned, but Sirius only shrugged, whispering back. “His own fault, he could have come with me.” 

James sighed and watched as Regulus came closer, looking around the floor and walls, somehow missing the boggart that was changing at his feet. 

“What the fuck is he on about, not a single fucking spider in sight and he just had to fucking interrupt-” Regulus mumbled under his breath, and he stopped short as he spotted the woman laying on the floor, his wand clattering to the floor.

Lily Evans laid on her back, one arm bent behind her head and the other across her stomach. Her dark hair spread around her head like a halo of too light blood. Blood leaked out of her mouth in a thin line, pooling slightly on her chin. Regulus choked on his words at the sight

James furrowed his eyebrows, wondering why in the fuck Lily’s death would be Regulus’s worst fear.  Until a voice cut across the spluttering noises he made. 

“I’m so proud of you, Regulus. You did so well. The Dark Lord is proud of your service.” The clear, cold voice of Walburga Black came through the air, paired with the horrid woman herself. 

She came up behind Regulus, not touching him, but James could still see the fear in his eyes at the voice alone.

“Mother I- I don’t-” 

“Now, now, Regulus. Be proud of yourself. You’re helping rid our world of filthy mudbloods and impure blood. Such a wonderful thing to do isn’t it.” She smiled that terrible smile, which could make anyone rather anything than be on the reconvening end of it. Regulus visibly flinched at the use of the slur, which Sirius seemed to hyper-focus on. 

“Remus, what’s happening?” He whispered, who merely shrugged and stood transfixed as he watched the scene. 

“It’s not, it’s really not. It’s fucking terrible.” 

His mother’s smile vanished for a split second before returning, though crueler. “We’ve had this conversation, Regulus.” 

“I wasn’t aware using Crucio was a conversation, Mother.” 

Sirius gasped softly. He didn’t know what the fuck was happening, and was completely bewildered by it.

“Is he...standing up to a boggart?” Peter asked, a little confused, and Remus nodded. 

“You’re becoming Sirius.” 

“I am nothing like Sirius.” 

The mention of his name seemed to do something. Sirius’s body appeared next to Lily’s. His hair matted together, a large cut across his forehead trickling blood. His arms bent above his head, clasped together and bound. Regulus let out a sob and dropped to his knees, face covered by his hands. 

“Don’t be ashamed, Regulus, dear. They had it coming, they all did.” Walburga said, and James heard the gasp coming from his own lips. 

He laid there, no visible sign of harm done to him, though his glasses were shattered. One hand lay clutched in a fist over his heart, the other stiff at his side. Remus was in such an odd angle it looked painful, one arm bent under his back almost touching his leg and his head turned almost fully backward. Three large lines sliced his chest, bleeding profusely. Peter laid spread eagle on his back, mouth hanging open. 

“Pettigrew, a blood traitor. Lupin, a werewolf. Potter-” 

“Don’t you say his name.” 

Walburga laughed, cruel and icy, like a whip cutting through the air. 

“He doesn’t love you, Regulus! How could he? You’re worth nothing! At least Sirius had nerve, but you’re a spineless coward-” 

“Riddikuls!” 

Regulus hadn’t grabbed his wand, just whipped around at Walburga so quick James thought he would have whiplash. She turned into a worm, trying to move around despite her small size. Regulus quickly stood up, walking over to it. He let out a harsh laugh, one that James was surprised came from him. “Ah, what you truly are, Mother. A fucking worm, pathetic.” 

He stomped on it, and while James wasn’t sure it would actually take care of the boggart, seemed to give Regulus some sort of satisfaction.

 He slumped against the wall opposite of the alcove they decided to hide in, and sunk to the floor. His hands reached back up to his face, and a muffled sob came from behind them. And they kept coming. And they didn’t stop. Sirius looked like he was about to step out of their hiding spot until another boy, James recognized him as a Ravenclaw sixth year, Jacob something,  came down the hallway, wand drawn as well. 

He spotted Regulus and put it away, crouching close to him but not touching.

“Arc? Can I touch you?” 

Regulus nodded and Jacob reached out, pealing his hands away from his face and kissing him. Regulus kissed back, only briefly, before pulling away and leaning to look up at the ceiling. Jacob sat next to him, taking his hand and drawing little shapes into his palm. “What happened?” 

“Boggart.” 

The word was hard to understand, coming out rushed and thick. but Jacob did perfectly. He nodded and took his free hand to Regulus’s hair, playing with it softly. It seemed to calm Regulus down. Only slightly. “Sirius and James?” 

Regulus nodded.

“Ah.” 

“And Evans. And Lupin. And Pettigrew. And her.” 

Jacob nodded again. 

“You really shouldn’t be with me, Jay. I have nothing to offer you. I’m literally in love with someone else.” 

Jacob laughed, “And you know I am too.” 

Regulus turned to look at him, the corner of his lips upturned. “If you’re still waiting on my brother, he very much worships Lupin, so it’s a lost cause.” 

Jacob shrugged. “A boy can dream.” 

Regulus huffed, which could be mistaken for a laugh, and turned to look at the floor. 

“And I’m with you because you’re fun, and you’re not as much of a monster you or your brother makes you out to be.”

“That implies I am some sort of a monster.” 

Jacob whacked his arm lightly, though he was smiling. “You know what I mean!” 

Regulus nodded. 

“If Sirius knew half the shit you did to protect him, he’d think twice before calling you a coward.” 

Regulus shrugged.

“Plus, you’d probably try and throw yourself off the Astronomy tower again if I wasn’t here.” 

“Higher chance than just probably.”

Jacob looked at him, frowning. “Arc, what-”

“Nothing. Come on, Evan will be wondering if I killed the spider.” 

They both stood up, and Regulus grabbed his wand, dropping Jacob’s hand as they walked away.

[harrytpotter]

Don’t You Think? — One-Shot

Plot: Sirius Black keeps crashing your dates until you finally have enough and decides to confront him about it.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

A/N: I wrote this at 2 am so apologies in advance for the probable grammar mistakes, the short length of it and everything else. It’s messy but I kinda enjoyed the outcome of this. I intended it to be much longer but I felt this was a good way of ending it, so...

“You’re such a git, Black!” You roll your eyes annoyed at you friend — who had just sabotaged your date — on your way to the castle, back from Hogsmeade.

“Oh, come on now, Y/N! I told you I didn’t mean to crash your date, I just needed to ask you something!” He retorts, furrowing his brows.

“Couldn’t you just wait until I got back? This stupid essay’s deadline is in two weeks from now!” You slap his arm furiously, standing in front of him.

“Ouch! Look, I’m sorry okay?! I really thought we were supposed to hand this over tomorrow and-,” he starts, but you don’t give him a chance to finish, turning on your heels and climbing up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower.

You could hear Sirius shouting your name but you were just too furious at him right now. He had no right to mess with your life the way he had and yet he did do it anyway. And it wasn’t even the first time!

“Password,” the bored voice of the Fat Lady snapped you back to reality.

“Dragonfly,” you answer and the portrait moved, letting the path free for you.

“Oi! How was the date, L/N?” James asked you from his spot on the couch as soon as you walked in. He and Lily looked at you curiously.

“Ask your arse of a friend!” You spat before getting to the stairs that led to your dorm.

“Merlin, what did Sirius do now?” He muttered, more to himself than to Lily.

“You better ask him. I’ll go check on her,” Lily says, giving a peck on her boyfriend’s lips and getting out of his embrace.

As soon as the redheaded disappeared into the stairs, Sirius Black entered the portrait hole and plopped himself down on the couch next to James, who sighed heavily before tilting his head to his left to face his best friend.

“What did you do now?” He frowned seriously whilst resting his elbows on his knees.

“She’s overreacting,” Sirius tries to defend himself.

“What did you do, Pads?” James repeated his previous question.

“I was entering the Three Broomsticks when I spotted her and remembered I needed to ask her something about our Transfiguration essay,” he shrugs.

“You ruined her date because of an assignment?” James asks incredulously.

“I didn’t ruin anything, I just asked a question! It’s not my bloody fault that she got furious and stormed off, leaving the poor guy there all alone,” he frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Please tell me you didn’t do such thing,” Remus said in disbelief from behind them, Peter on his trail.

“Before you judge me, how much of what I said did you hear?” Sirius asks with a grimace.

“We heard the entire thing,” Peter answered him with a vague look.

“Padfoot, you can’t keep doing that. Either you admit your feelings to yourself or allow her to live her life and be happy,” Remus scolds him.

“FEELINGS? HA!” Sirius scoffs. “I know you desperately want me to settle down because I’m running out of hearts to break here in Hogwarts but I’m not ready to step out of my game just yet, my friend,” he wrapped his arm on his friend’s shoulder playfully.

“Your call, mate. You’ll only have yourself to blame when you lose her anyways,” Remus shrugged.

“Moony’s right,” Peter nods slowly at Sirius.

“What about you, Prongs? Nothing to add?” Sirius asks mockingly to James.

“You know Y/N’s like a sister to me. Just please stop messing with her life,” he sighs before getting up and heading to the girls’ dorm to check on you and Lily.

“I don’t understand why everyone’s so pissed. I didn’t do anything at all!” Sirius frowns, staring at where his best friend had just disappeared.

Remus sends him a death glare before getting up himself and follow James’ steps.

“Oh, come on! You’re on my side, aren’t ya Wormy?” Sirius asks Peter, both brows lifted.

“Y/N had been waiting for this date quite excitedly, you know?!” He shrugs defensively.

“Excitedly? Please! What’s there to be excited about having a date with Preston Fawley?” He asks with a scrunched face.

“Well... they’ve been flirting for some time now. Sorry, Pads,” Peter shrugs again before leaving Sirius alone with his thoughts.

***

“Are you gonna say anything or are you just gonna keep staring at me? It’s annoying,” you ask Sirius, not diverging your attention from the book you were reading.

“You... you look good today,” he says with the clear of a throat.

“Thanks?!” You sound unimpressed, eyes still on the book.

Sirius reflects on what to say next whilst studying you. He adored the way your brows furrowed when you were concentrated on something. He adored the way you used to bite your lower lip when you were reading about a particularly tricky subject. The way a proud smirk would appear on your lips after you finally got it. He smiled at himself.

“What?” You ask with a brow lifted. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even realized you looked away from your book and now stared at him.

“Oh, no- nothing,” he recomposes himself quickly.

You roll your eyes and get back to your book. Sirius opened his mouth once again but were rudely interrupted by a female voice.

“Hey, Siri! We still have something to discuss,” a blonde Ravenclaw leans in and hugs him from behind.

“Great! There goes my study session,” you smile mechanically at Sirius, an annoyed grimace on.

The girl looks at you with a despising look before turning back to him and whispering into his ear, “can I steal you for a second?”

“Sorry, love, I’m a little busy here,” he winks apologetically at the girl.

“No, he’s not. Please, take him away. I’ll pay you,” you smile sarcastically at the girl.

“See? Stop wasting your time on this loser, she doesn’t even want you here,” the girl says, sliding to his lap.

The whole library was watching the scene unfolding with great interest as you stood up from your seat and got around the table, walking until you were face to face with the Ravenclaw. You prop both of your hands on top of the table and lean in, your nose almost touching hers.

“Funny thing hearing you call me a loser when I’m the one getting his whole attention whilst you’re so desperately begging for it. I’d say you’re the loser here, but you’re way too pathetic to even be called one, hun,” you say with a smile.

Sirius looked ecstatic at you, a wide and proud grin shining on his face. Winking at him, you grab your book and walk towards the exit. Sirius could feel his cheeks heating up.

***

“I’m heading to the Great Hall for dinner, James is coming with me!” Lily shouts through the bathroom door.

“Save me a seat, please!” You scream back at your friend while you were freshening up. Since you were going to apologize to Preston for the little show Sirius and you had put up during your date, you might as well look dashing whilst doing so. Loosening your hair down, you run your hands though it and check yourself one more time in the mirror before leaving the dorm.

The hallways were already empty and deserted as you walked through them on your way to the Great Hall. You were revising what you were going to say to Preston in your head when you felt a sudden pull and soon you were staring into Sirius’ grey eyes.

“What now?” You asked annoyed at him with an eye roll.

“I wanted to apologize. For not saying anything when Morgana called you a loser,” he looked into your eyes intensely.

“Well, I clearly didn’t need your help, besides, why would I care about what your stupid little conquers think of me anyway?” You say, an anguished scrunch on your face.

“Good point,” he gives you a saddened frown before lowering his head and staring at the ground.

“Is that everything you want to apologize for? How about apologizing for ruining all of the dates I ever got?”

As he continued to stare quietly at the ground, you proceeded to talk.

“Why do you do this to me, Sirius?“ You ask with a trembling voice.

He turns around and starts walking away without facing you.

“Oh, no! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to screw my life over and over again and just turn around and leave!” You exclaim at him and he stops walking. “Don’t you think I can be enough to someone? Don’t you think I deserve to be wanted and desired? Don’t you think I deserve to be fucking loved?” You were on the verge of tears as you stared at his back.

“It’s not like that, Y/N... it’s not like that at all,” he whispers almost inaudibly.

“Then what is it like, Sirius? What is it like? You tell me, right here, right now. Or you just leave me be. For good.”

He turns to face you, his face filled with anguish.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. I didn’t crash every single one of your dates so far because I think you deserve to be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life. How could you even think that? I did it because none of those gits deserved you! I did it because they weren’t enough for you. Do you wanna know what is it like? It’s like that,” he blurts out, cupping your face with his hands and crashing his lips into yours with a burning passion.

You are caught by surprise at first but soon open your mouth, giving him your permission to deepen the kiss. As he does so, he slides his hands to your lower back, pulling you as close as possible to him as if he was afraid this moment could turn out to be just a figment of his imagination. You grabbed his hair with your hands as the kiss became more and more hungrily, wishing the two of you could stay like this, in this hallway, forever.

Breaking the kiss to catch a breath, Sirius bury his face in the crook of your neck, his arms around your waist tightening their grip. “I do think you deserve to be loved. And you are. You are loved by me, Y/N.”

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I read your headcanons about James Potter and I’m really interested to hear your thoughts Sirius and regulus Black pls pls pls

Oh no.

Alright, strap in people, because I’m about to say some things that nobody will like.

Let’s start in alphabetical order with Regulus. 

Fandom often sees Regulus as a reformed Death Eater, the redeemed villain, or else a cooler suaver version of Sirius steeped in pure blood culture, making him more palatable than many pureblood characters as a love interest. There’s a lot of fics of him having almost defeated Voldemort, coming back from the dead and actually defeating Voldemort, reconnecting with Sirius, showing Harry the cool pureblood ways without being racist, etc.

Well, I don’t really buy into any of that.

I think, even with his defection, Regulus was likely still a very racist character and never really disavowed the cause. True, he was young when he was sucked in, he had his whole family meltdown when Sirius was disowned and suddenly he was heir, but I do think he really did believe in blood purism and nothing from the books suggests that he died not believing in it. He just stopped believing in Voldemort.

Instead, I believe he discovered that Voldemort a) did not mean anything good for his culture and b) Voldemort was a fraud.

What do I mean by that?

Well, in the first case, I’ve always viewed Tom Riddle in that period in time as a hate filled nihilist who doesn’t really believe in what he preaches. It’s just convenient to him as the purebloods are the ones with the money and the power. There’s no point in him appealing to Dumbledore’s ilk as they’re far less likely to be able to make him king (also it would mean putting up with Dumbledore and his stupid speeches about love and friendship). Most of Voldemort’s actions throughout the books don’t make the muggle borns’ lives miserable (at least not until he gets into power) but makes hell of the purebloods’ lives and absolutely ruins them. 

The Black family, in particular, he essentially wipes off the face of the Earth. 

With that in mind, I imagine a young Regulus eventually came to realize that Voldemort was systematically destroying the great families from the inside to put himself in power. It was never about the muggleborns or the country, it was only ever about power.

Then we get to the other bit, Voldemort being a fraud. Unlike many, I believe the Death Eaters had no idea who Voldemort was. It’s too unbelievable to me that some guy named Tom Riddle, who their fathers all went to school with, who everyone knew as a muggle born impoverished orphan, could convince them all that he was the next Merlin who they should devote their lives (and their money) to. Tom’s charismatic, but he’s not that charismatic. Better for Tom Riddle to just disappear entirely and show up as the Count of Monte Cristo, descendent of Salazar Slytherin himself, impressing all the young heirs while their young, angry, and stupid. 

With Regulus finding out that his great leader is actually just the halfblood son of a squib, the whole movement falls apart. Regulus is a pawn, fighting for nothing he believes in. Now, that said, I don’t think Regulus ever figured out who exactly, Tom was. He clearly knew the name, as we see from the locket, but just knowing that Riddle is a muggle last name would be enough to know that Voldemort was nothing he presented as.

Basically, Regulus becomes extremely disillusioned with the Death Eaters and Voldemort in a few short years. The change he wanted to see sweeping the country doesn’t happen. Instead the violence, which he was initially very excited for (guys, Regulus did join a domestic terrorist organization and I will not cut him slack for that, he was excited to blow up some muggle borns) is pointless and hurting their own people as opposed to the muggle borns. 

During all of this we have Kreacher borrowed by Voldemort for the creepy horcrux placement. This certainly makes Regulus go “hm” and he’s clever enough to put together on his own that the locket must be a horcrux.

That said, I do not believe he knew enough about Tom Riddle to have been able to hunt down the rest or even know where or what they would be. Dumbledore had been paranoidly collecting memories of Tom Riddle’s entire goddamn life and relying on the plot convenient aspect that Tom was apparently so much of a romantic he never left his horcruxes anywhere but Britain and always left them in very noticeable sentimental objects. Regulus knew about the locket because of Kreacher, had he lived, he’d have no idea where the hell else to start.

So that’s Regulus for you, a fairly intelligent, yet youthfully stupid, extremist whose dream did not live up to the reality and probably still would have spat in Hermione’s face had the gang resurrected him from being a lake zombie.

As for Sirius, well, he’s James the asshole times a thousand to the point where he makes some “ha ha, very funny, but actually really this is horrifying” decisions. 

I guess we’ll start back when he’s young.

We don’t see much of the young Sirius, and granted, what we do directly is given to us by a very bitter, resentful, and biased Severus Snape but his actions still read a lot like pretty much any Stephen King bully villain. The scene where they’re tormenting Snape (and Snape drops the slur, Lily abandoning him) is horrifying to read. And it’s clearly one of many moments over many years of this group of boys sexually harassing him (and yes, that was sexual harassment guys, let’s not pull out stops here).

Then we get to the joke with Lupin that... really wasn’t a joke.

The flimsy excuse we’re given in canon is that a) it was all in good fun b) Snape was so much of a coward he’d never actually go to the Shrieking Shack because he’s a big chicken. Bawk bawk bawk, Snivellus the chicken. But, well, these excuses are flimsy. 

When you get down to the bare bones of it what Sirius did there was attempted murder via his chronically ill best friend. It’s one of those actions that I simply cannot justify, even had Sirius not thought it all the way through, as boys will be boys. What was the good outcome there? Snape sees Lupin and shrieks in terror? (Only to probably run to some authority and try to get the uncontrolled werewolf the fuck off of campus, nice going Sirius) Snape gets infected with lycanthropy? Snape dies, Lupin wakes up covered in blood with the horror of knowing he ate a classmate? 

Later, we do get Sirius sort of apologizing for his behavior. But it’s at best a ‘sort of’ apology. He never admits the full horror of what he did, just how relentlessly brutal he was to Snape, or what the werewolf thing really would have ended in. Instead he goes, “yeah, James and I were kind of assholes. He grew up though, Lily married him so he couldn’t be an ass anymore! And it was Snape, Come on, Harry, it was Snape.” And Harry, messed up asshole that he himself is goes, “Yeah, it was Snape! Stupid Snape!”

I also never got the feeling he ever fully apologized to Remus. Sirius used Remus in the worst of ways, made it clear he had no respect for Remus and no compassion for his condition, and continues to treat him as a sort of secondary friend to James. I think it says a lot that Remus was able and willing to believe Sirius was guilty of murdering James and Lily in cold blood. 

Which probably gives you a hint that I think Remus/Sirius would never happen except in the most toxic of ways possible.

Basically, in a fair world, Sirius should have been expelled if not tried for the werewolf incident. However, Dumbledore plays favorites and chose the sons of two lords as opposed to the poor half blood (which I imagine cemented Snape’s path to becoming a Death Eater). And so there is some cruel irony in that Sirius was eventually jailed for something, even though it was something he didn’t do.

Now, after Azkaban, Sirius seems to have mellowed out a lot. While he’s a bit unhinged and thoughtless (his rescue attempt of Harry’s rescue attempt at the end of Order of the Phoenix) a lot of this can be seen as after effects of his stay in literally hell on Earth for over ten years. 

That said, a lot of people see him as the cool uncle character who, if Harry had been able to live with him, all would have been well. I firmly disagree. Young Sirius was, well, god knows how warped Harry would have been growing up with a young and reckless Sirius Black. After prison he’s in no condition to take care of Harry, and even says as much multiple times. Sirius is cool to hang around at a distance, but up close and personal he’d be very messed up and not at all ready to be a father to a teenage boy. 

Otherwise, Sirius was very very very gay for James Potter. Unfortunately for him, James Potter was straight and into Lily Evans. I’m sure it was a very sad day for Sirius when Lily actually said yes to James. Except not really, because James always strikes me as a “bros before hos” kind of dude. Not that I’m sure if Sirius ever admitted he was gay and in love with James, I’ve always been of the belief that pureblood culture is extremely homophobic and it just... wouldn’t come up. 

So there it is, now excuse me while I go hide behind this barrier before I get eaten alive.

[lovemeleo]

I know ur requests say closed but I wanted to plop this here for a rainy day because I don't want to wait and forget... ✨Adventures of Reg babysitting baby Asher? Would he be suprizingly good with him? Would he call Celeste for help? Lol. I love your writing so much and I just 😲😍 everytime I see you write more Asher and coops content!💕

Thank you so much, anon! I’m so glad you love it. Uncle Reg babysitting?? Yes please! I hope you enjoy this, anon! It was so fun to write. The SW world belongs to the amazing @lumosinlove.

If you haven’t read the rest of the Asher Pascal series, here are the links:

Coops become Dads

Coops become Dads Pt. 2

Dumo meets Asher

Asher’s First Dumo Dinner

Asher’s First Dumo Dinner Pt. 2

Cuddles with Cap

The Instagram Aftermath

The Lupins meet Asher

Black Brothers Have a Moment™️

___________________________________

Asher was crawling. Crawling. 

The doctor had said to start expecting it around nine months or later, but apparently Asher was determined to prove him incorrect and started at eight months. Remus and Sirius had just finished putting the baby gates and childproofing more of the house when Regulus arrived.

Tonight was their first date night out of the house in a very long time. James and Lily had come over to theirs to make it easier a couple nights, but now they were finally getting to go to a restaurant. 

Sirius swung open the door, looking frazzled as Asher followed after his dad, albeit a bit slower but he was moving. Regulus’s eyes widened, “He’s crawling.”

Asher looked up at the new voice, squealing happily as he saw his Uncle. Sirius swung him up off the floor once he got close enough, “Yeah, just started last night. He’d been trying for a while but now he just doesn’t stop. We’ve got baby gates and everything up.” He said, running a hand through his hair as he led Regulus into the house, showing him on the gates worked.

Singing was coming from the bathroom, some top 40s pop song. Regulus chuckled softly as Sirius pulled the door closed all the way, “James and Lily are picking us up, so the car will be here if you happen to need it. Sometimes Asher will fall asleep easier there.” He explained, picking up toys as he went.

Asher babbled happily, tapping at Sirius’s shoulder until he let him down once they got into the living room. He crawled across the floor until he got to where Regulus sat before plopping back on his butt, smiling up at him proudly as if to say look what I can do.

Regulus smiled softly, a smile that was mostly saved for his nephew. He had never been around kids much, except for when he was one himself, but he was learning. He glanced up at his brother, blinking in surprise when he found that Sirius was already looking back, “Uh.. so where are you guys going for dinner?”

“Just Sids as far as I’m aware. We really don’t wanna go too far, just in case. Still makes me nervous to leave him.” Sirius said with a shrug as he watched Asher play with some blocks on the floor. Regulus nodded because he’d be nervous too. Mon Dieu, he was nervous. He was about to be the only one watching this baby for at least 3-4 hours. Maybe he should’ve asked Leo to come over and help.

Just as Regulus was about to panic, Remus walked out, hair still wet from the shower. He smiled when he saw his soon-to-be brother in law, “Hey, Reg. Thanks again for watching him, we really appreciate it.” He said, leaning on the arm of Sirius’s chair.

Regulus shrugged, “Of course, you guys need to get out of this house for things other than practice.”

They chatted for a little bit when there were multiple honks from outside, repeating obnoxiously. Sirius rolled his eyes as he got up, “Lily must’ve let James drive.”

Remus picked Asher up, smothering him with kisses, “You be good for your uncle, bub.” He turned to look at Regulus. “He’s been going down to sleep around 8pm, so he’ll probably start getting whiny in an hour or two. He has formula already mixed in the fridge, but there’s also some cereal he likes on the counter. If you need anything, just call or text us.”

Leaning in to press a kiss to his baby’s chubby cheek, Sirius took Asher and passed him over to his brother, “Thanks again, Reg.” He said, giving him a hug before they were gone.

Asher sniffled softly, his lower lip pushed out as he stared at the door his parents had just walked through. Regulus rocked side to side a bit, trying to distract him, “No tears, Ash. We’re gonna be okay.” He turned on the TV, finding one of the shows Sirius had said Asher liked to watch. 

Sitting down with him on the couch, Regulus let out a shaky breath as Asher’s eyes glued to the TV. They were going to be fine. He had helped take care of Asher before. He could change a diaper. He could feed him. Just the thought that he was the only person between his nephew and uncertain death. But it was fine. They’re fine.

Around an hour later, Asher seemed to get bored of the show and crawled into his uncle’s lap, tapping at his chest as he started babbling.

Regulus smiled, “What’s up? You hungry? Should we get a bottle, mon petit?” He asked as he got up, resting Asher on his hip. Together they headed to the kitchen, Regulus grabbing one of the pre-made bottles from the fridge. 

Asher reached for the bottle, eyes wide as soon as it was in his sight. Laughing as he got him settled in the crook of his arm, Regulus brought the bottle to Asher’s lips, “Un garçon tellement affamé.” 

Latching onto the bottle quickly, Asher started drinking the formula, his head resting happily on Regulus’s chest. It was still crazy to think that this was his brother’s son. He had a whole nephew that he would get to watch grow up, and do amazing things. 

The bottle was finished quickly, Asher smacking his lips around the empty bottle. Regulus set it aside before grabbing a towel, throwing it over his shoulder to burp Asher. 

He propped him up on his shoulder, gently patting his back as he paced the kitchen until he heard the quiet burp. Regulus wiped off his face with the towel before bringing him back to the living room, setting him on the floor to play with his toys.

It was going extremely well, and he said so to the group chat he was in with the cubs. Finn sent a thumbs up emoji, and Leo told him he knew he could do it. And he had. Regulus had confided in Leo when Sirius had first asked him, nervous that he would fuck it up. Leo was shaking his head before Regulus could even finish his worries. He told him that he would be fine, that Asher loved him and Sirius obviously trusted him enough to ask. He was lucky to have Leo as a friend.

As he set his phone aside, he realized he had a problem. A big problem. Regulus couldn’t have been on the phone for more than 30 seconds, but apparently in that time, Asher had managed to crawl out of sight.

His heart was pounding in his chest as Regulus jumped up from the couch, “Asher!” Looking under the couch, the table, searching the living room, the baby was nowhere in sight. 

“Oh no, no no no no!” He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. He lost the kid. He lost his brother’s baby. Sirius was going to kill him. Remus. Oh Remus was going to have him murdered, and no one would ever find his body.

As he pondered over who would let him hide at their house, he heard it. A loud clatter coming from one of the other rooms.

He followed the noise, which led him to… the kitchen? Shit. He had forgotten to close the baby gate. When he walked in, he couldn’t help but laugh. 

Asher had found his way into the pots and pans. All of them. They were strewn across the kitchen with his nephew right in the middle, a large pot in front of him. He grinned happily up at his uncle, slamming tiny hands on the pot.

Regulus squatted down in front of him, chuckling, “You scared me, petit homme. Planning to be a drummer? Should I get you a little drum set?” He asked.

Letting out a loud squeal, Asher leaned onto the pot before a big yawn interrupted his smile.

“Getting tired? Should we get to sleep?” Regulus picked him up, carrying him to the nursery. “Let’s get you in a clean diaper and some pjs.”

Regulus changed his diaper quickly, not wanting him to be cold for too long before slipping him into a pair of soft dragon pajamas that he had bought for Asher. 

Turning on the mobile above the crib, Regulus gently laid Asher down while making sure his blanket and lion stuffie were in reach, “Good night, Ash. Love you.” He whispered, running his hand through black curls.

Just as he was about to close the door, Regulus heard a quiet whimper. He turned back and was met with the worst case of the puppy dog eyes staring back at him through the side of the crib. He walked back in, “What’s up, bub?”

As soon as he leaned over the crib, Asher was making grabby hands at him, his lower lip pushed out in a pout. 

Regulus let out a sigh, picking him up, “Alright just for a little bit.” He murmured as Asher cuddled into his chest. He carried him back to the living room, laying down on the couch. Letting Asher rest on his chest, he pulled a blanket to cover them both.

“Just for a couple minutes, d'accord?” Regulus murmured, wrapping an arm around Asher’s small body. A soft snuffle was the only answer he got, Asher clutching at Regulus’s shirt as he dozed. 

Not long after they laid down, Regulus was out too. Who knew taking care of a baby was so tiring?

Remus and Sirius got home an hour or so later, quickly shushing each other as they saw the adorable scene on their couch. Sirius couldn’t help but take a couple pictures as Remus wandered into the kitchen.

“Why is every single one of our pots on the floor?”

[chudleycanonficfest]

Dancing Around You

Day 31, Post #2 by @adenei

Title: Dancing Around You

Author: adenei

Pairing: James x Lily

Prompt: First Date

Rating: T 

TW: Some language and mentions of past abuse.

a/n: inspired by the scene in In The Heights when Vanessa and Usnavi go to the club.

*****************

I walk into the corner shop in my neighborhood and see James, Remus and Sirius talking by the counter. The scene causes more annoyance to course through me, which probably stems from the shit mood I’m already in. James and Sirius are supposed to be working, since this is their job. And why isn’t Remus at the broadcast station across the street at his own job?

So what if James owned the shop after it was left to him when his parents passed? Work is still work, and he shouldn’t be skiving off while on shift. I’ve busted my arse day in and day out for the last three years so I could save up to rent a flat in Camden to pursue a career as an interior designer. Moving out of Peckham to a more centralized location will help put me on the map as a well sought after designer.

But that was all for nothing. I’ve just returned from my meeting with the realtor, and despite having enough rent saved up for a whole year, plus the security deposit, he waved me off as if I belonged in the slums! The twat said I needed someone to co-sign a lease with me. Tears sting my eyes as I’m reminded once again of how alone I am. Having walked out at seventeen to escape my parents’ emotional abuse for the last seven years, I had no one to turn to despite the close-knit neighborhood I lived in because this was a secret goal that no one knew about.

I’m sure Marlene’s mum would be more than happy to co-sign a lease with me, but I couldn’t ask that of her. Not when she’s done so much for me already. No, I just need to hold my head high and keep moving forward. I put on my business face and strengthen my resolve, so the boys don’t suspect anything out of the ordinary.

Walking over to the fridge, I grab a Fanta and a Coke for Mrs. McKinnon. When I left the office earlier for my appointment, she asked me to bring one back. Now, I have to return to my job as her secretary at her own Real Estate office and try not to resent every client who walks in the door. When I shut the refrigerator door and turn to head to the register, I see James leaning against the glass of another fridge door.

When the hell did he creep up on me?

“Evans, how’s it going?”

“It’s been better.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

For a moment, I think about letting him in. I open my mouth to say something, but change my mind at the last second.

“You wish.”

“Right, well, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Narrowing my eyes, I observe James. We’ve been friends for years, and it’s a friendship I cherish more than anything. He’s always been there to make me laugh, to match my sarcasm and wit, and he’s never been afraid to go toe-to-toe with me. I know him well, almost as well as I know myself, but I’m not expecting his question or the butterflies that flutter in my stomach in response.

I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive. His perpetual bedhead, black hair and piercing yet kind hazel eyes have always stood out to me. It’s no secret that he’s fit from lifting boxes all day and playing on a club football team in his free time. But I’ve never allowed myself to think there could be anything more between us besides friendship.

So, why does it feel like he’s asking me out? Am I misreading the signs? I decide to keep the ball in his court to get a better read on his intentions.

“I’m going dancing with Marlene and Mary,” I reply, keeping my voice cool and collected.

“Oh, sounds like fun.” He glances down at the bottles in my hands. “All set, then?”

I nod, and If I’m not mistaken, his shoulders slump as he turns to head back to the counter. Should I have invited him and the guys to join us? Before I can ponder it further, Sirius cuts me off and pushes me back into the aisle.

“You and the girls are going dancing? That sounds like fun. I’d bet my buddy over there would love to join you.” He raises his eyebrows as if willing me to catch his subtle hint, which I do.

“Wait, was James just trying to ask me out tomorrow?”

Sirius shrugs. “Probably, but you two have been friends forever, and despite his smooth-talking with most females, he seems to get tongue-tied around you.”

A burst of laughter bubbles out of me. “James? Tongue-tied? Around me? What are you smoking?”

“Nothing, Evans. Just pointing out a fact.”

Fine, if Sirius is going to pester me about this, I will prove him wrong. I brush past him toward James so I can pay for the drinks and be on my way. Sliding a couple pounds to James over the counter, I smirk at him.

“You know, Potter, I could use a dancing partner tomorrow night. Pick me up at eight?”

His head snaps up, and he looks shocked before a goofy smile replaces the surprise on his face. “Er, yeah, alright. I mean, if you’re sure—”

Cutting him off, I put him out of his misery. “Great, see you then.”

The following evening, we’re walking into Alohomora, the most popular nightclub in Peckham. My friends and I frequent the club at least once a month. I love its mix of neons glowing amongst the blacklights and the worn leather benches framing the booths around the perimeter of the dance floor. It’s come to feel like a second home to me.

Dancing is an outlet for my frustrations. I love letting the music consume my soul as the loud thumps of the bass vibrate through my body as I spin on the floor. Tonight will be no different, except that James is with me. As my date. At least, I think he’s my date. Neither of us have actually talked about what this is.

“Wow, I haven’t been here in ages. Have they changed the layout recently?” James asks.

“Not that I can recall,” I wave his question off as I hear a number of people shout my name in greeting.

“I didn’t realize how popular you were here, Evans. I’m impressed.”

“Impressed by what? It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I have more friends than you three. I hope that doesn’t make you jealous.” My playful banter is accompanied by a smirk as James laughs.

“Me? Jealous? Of course not. Care for a drink first?”

“Sure.”

Usually, I’d prefer to dance a bit first, but I don’t want to drag James onto the dance floor if he doesn’t want to. I’m not even sure if he enjoys dancing since I’ve never seen him here before. He’s flagging down the bartender when someone calls to me.

“Lily! Hey, Lily!” Terry Fawcett is pushing his way through the crowded dance floor. “Wanna dance?”

He holds out his hand when he reaches me, but I shake my head.

“Sorry, Ter, I’m here with someone else tonight.”

James turns as he overhears the interaction and waves me on. He contorts his face in a weird, ‘trying to be chill, but still looks sort of pained’ way.

“It’s alright, Evans, go ahead.”

I’m taken aback. Maybe we really weren’t on a date. “But—are you sure?”

“Yeah, just save one for me later.”

“Oh, well, alright.”

My hand falls into Terry’s even though I’m not certain I want to dance with him. There’s an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m not used to as I walk away from James. It’s ridiculous, but I think I’m actually disappointed that James passed me off so easily. And I’m just as mad at Sirius for even putting the thought that James might fancy me in my head because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since yesterday afternoon.

Well, there’s only one way to find out once and for all if he cares. Make him jealous.

I dance as I’ve never danced before when the music changes to an upbeat Latin tune. I spin around the floor, dancing with Terry before I’m passed off to other men that I’ve danced with once or twice in the past. It takes everything in my power to not steal glances at James, but I do catch when his baffled look turns dark as he begins to scowl at the men who are practically lined up to dance with me.

By the time he does walk out to the dance floor to cut in, I’m exhausted. He pulls me into his arms, but I’m still annoyed that he’s waited this long.

“Potter, I need a break.”

I pull away from him and walk toward the bar, where Sirius holds two drinks in his hands. I grab one and slam it down, shoving the glass into his chest once it’s empty. Then, I turn and head for the exit to get some air. It’s much quieter on the street, save for the ambient sounds of traffic in the background, a stark contrast to inside the club. I lean against the wall as I catch my breath and watch the cars go by.

The door to the club opens, and the music splits the night air as James steps out.

“Evans, what the hell was that?”

“What was what?” I ask, feigning ignorance.

What? Is he angry? Good. Let him be angry.

“You! You ask me to come with you, spend all night dancing with other blokes, and then when I try to cut in, you ditch me.”

A derisive bark escapes my lips as I push off the wall and step closer to him, matching his stance.

“Don’t you dare try to blame this on me, Potter. You’re the one who pushed me away! I would have been perfectly happy dancing with you all night, but no, you sat back and watched as I danced with everyone else.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do!?”

He can’t be serious right now, playing the victim and passing this onto me. There’s no way I’m letting him get away with this. I step even closer, thankful that my heels bring me closer to eye level with him, so it’s more of an even match.

“I don’t know, put your arm around me and tell the bloke to fuck off? That I’m taken?”

“Are you taken?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Our breathing is heavy, chests heaving as our noses are a hair’s width apart. All I can focus on is the intensity in his eyes, the gold flecks burning like the flames in a fire. I wait for him to say something, or do something, anything except stare at me. I give him more than enough time, and he doesn’t make a move, so I decide that I’m done.

As much as I don’t want to, I break eye contact and turn away. I’m not in the mood to stay out, so I begin the walk home. James and I are friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be, but that doesn’t stop me from cursing Sirius for putting the thought that we could be more in my head. Because now that I’ve accepted the thought, I’m not sure I want to stay friends. But it’s clear now, this wasn’t meant to be anything special, and I was stupid for thinking it could be.

[ginemrys]

a change of heart

This is something very different to what we usually write, a bold departure from Jily! But we were inspired by a tiktok that showed Peter knocking on Marlene's door to Meant To Be Yours from the show Heathers and knew we had to write it!!!

Marly,

Lily and I are going a little stir crazy now. I try not to let her see how fed up with being stuck inside I am, but as you know well enough, she’s an expert at reading people.

I wish you could know where we are, that you could come and visit. We keep showing Harry photos of all of you, making sure he knows you all once this damned war is over. I think you’re going to be Marly for the rest of your life now, he’s quite taken with babbling some form of it over and over whenever you’re mentioned.

It’s unreal to think that he’s going to be a year old soon, where did that time go? Sometimes I feel like we are all still at school, taking our exams and getting up to mischief. I miss mischief almost as much as I miss the boys. We see Sirius of course, but no one has heard from Remus in a while, not since he went on his last mission for Dumbledore. I’m worried about Peter, he seems to be struggling worst of all, he barely replies to my letters now. I want him to be alright, he’s one of my closest friends and I hate the idea that he’s pulling away from us when we need him the most.

We miss you lots, miss you all. Please pass our love onto Dorcas and the others, you understand that we can’t write to everyone, just in case.

Stay safe, stay brilliant.

James.

Marlene stood in her childhood bedroom holding the letter in her hands. She smiled down at it, imagining baby Harry saying her name. She put the letter down on her bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Marlene, dinner is ready!” Her mother called from downstairs.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” She called back, her head in her hands.

“Marly?” A quiet voice spoke from her doorway. Marlene’s younger brother, Marcus, stood there. He was home for the summer, having just finished his sixth year at Hogwarts. He was the only person who could ever comfort Marlene when she cried, knowing just what to do. So he stepped into her bedroom uninvited, and sat down beside her, one arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, you.” She said, with a small sigh. “Sorry… It’s been a tough few weeks.” She said, resting her head against his as they sat together.

“I know.” Marcus replied, his hold on her tightening slightly. “And I’m not going to ask, because I know you can’t, unlike Mum and Dad. Sorry they keep pushing you to tell us what you’ve been doing.”

“It’s fine, it was all just better when I saw more of my friends… I miss them. Lily and James I barely get to hear from, even Dore is too busy for me…” She sighed. “Right, can’t let our food get cold. Race you?” She said with a small smirk, moving back from him.

“It’ll get better, I’m sure.” Marcus said softly as she moved away, getting to his feet. A grin spread across his face as she spoke, his eyebrow raising. “You know I’ll win!” He took off running, making sure to shut her door behind him to slow her down.

But then a bang sounded from downstairs, Marlene’s mother screamed.

“Arsehole!” Marlene shouted after him, throwing the door open. She froze hearing her mother’s shout, but she joined her brother by stumbling into the kitchen. Marlene’s mother lay on the ground, her face pressed against the cracked tile.

“Mum!” Marcus called out, rushing towards his mother, falling to his knees to grab her. A cold laugh sounded and another green light filled the room. Marlene stood with wide eyes as she stared at the scene before her as Marcus fell limply on the tile next to her.

“Marlene, run! Go!” Her father shouted, his face wet with tears as he burst into the kitchen from his study, brandishing his wand. “You’re important in this war, go now!”

Marlene looked at her father for a moment before running towards the door, more figures moved into the kitchen and she could hear her father grunting as he shot spells that burnt hot behind her. She pulled the door open, but was stopped by a figure standing on the path. “P-Pete?”

“Stay there!” Peter said, his voice surprisingly firm. But his wand betrayed him, his hand shaking as he pointed it at her chest. “Don’t try to run, Marlene!”

Marlene felt sick, the shaking wand arm showed the dark mark embedded into his skin. She stared at him before turning on her heel and sprinting up the stairs. She ran at full pelt into her room, slamming the door closed and locking it behind her before resting back against it. She looked around even though she knew she was trapped. “Fuck.” She muttered, looking around for her wand. She could almost hear Alastor condemning her for putting it down.

Peter sighed as Marlene ran. He felt sick, unable to stop shaking. But this was a test, he had to do this. His mark was fresh, still itchy and green. He needed to kill, to kill by order of his new master in order to turn it black. And he was tasked with the murder of Marlene McKinnon. So he pulled the door open, hearing the thud of Mr McKinnon as his body hit the floor beside his wife and son. The stairs creaked as Peter climbed them, he could hear the chuckles of his fellow Death Eaters, none of them who knew that he was the spy believed that he could do it.

Marlene saw her wand had rolled onto the floor so scrambled forward on her hands and knees to grab it. “Come on.” She said to herself, trying to conjure a patronus to send for help. She had placed anti-apparition wards over her house a few weeks prior, to protect them. She’d thought people couldn’t get in, but she clearly had been wrong. A few wisps appeared out of her wand but she couldn't possibly think of a strong enough memory to conjure a corporal form. Not while her heart ached and her head spun.

He knew where he was going, he’d been here before. He’d lingered in the background as everyone had fun, drinking and partying after sixth year when Marlene’s parents had been out for the night. He’d sat alone, curled up on an armchair watching Lily begin to fall in love with James as they spoke quietly with their backs against the sofa. He knew where Marlene’s room was.

He knocked gently on the closed door. “Marly? It’s going to be alright, Marly. Just open the door, please.” He called through it, his voice soft. He could hear her ragged, panicked breathing behind the wood.

“It was you.” Marlene called back, her back hard against the door. “You’re the traitor. You… You joined their side. Pete, why?”

“Just open the door.” Peter replied, his voice a little harsher now. “I don’t owe you an explanation, I don’t owe any of you anything. Now open the door, Marly.”

“You could have come to us, any of us. We could have helped if you were struggling. Pete, Pete please.” She said, angrily brushing the tears from her face.

“No, I couldn’t!” He spat. He could have killed her by now, could have unlocked the door with a simple alohomora and he’d be done with it. But she knew now, she knew. Finally he could tell someone about how he felt, about how they all had made him feel over the years. “I couldn’t talk to any of you. None of you care, none of you remember I’m even there half the time. Remus used to give a slight shit, but then Dumbledore sent him away. And James only cares about his precious Lily, he doesn’t have the time for any of us anymore.” The words spilled out of him, his voice rough as he shouted through the door. “You’re on the losing side, Marly, you can’t win! So why bother trying?”

“That’s not true!” She exclaimed. “It’s not! We all care about each other so much, but it’s so hard, this war is so hard and it is worth trying, we want a future, a future with all of us.” She sobbed, her hand covering her mouth. “We all care about you. Please, Peter, we can fix this together. Me and you. I can save you, this isn’t the end. It can’t be the end.” She whimpered.

“It's too late. People didn’t care about me before the war, they won’t now. There’s no way.” He knew the door was locked, but still he reached down to turn the doorknob, knowing it would scare her. Some sick part of him was taking pleasure from hearing her sobbing. “Let me in.”

“We’ve always cared about you. What about Sirius and James? Remus? You’re one of the marauders. I’ve never seen a friendship as close as yours…” She said, standing up from the door and stepping back towards the bed, her wand raised.

“I’ve never been one of them, not really. I was just a means to an end.” Peter said as he pointed his wand at the lock, watching it glow slightly as he unlocked it. “It’s always been them, then me. An afterthought.”

“That’s not true, they love you. Let me help you, I can protect you.” She said, pointing her wand at the door. Her legs hit the edge of the bed, knocking the bedside table and the letter she had been reading landed on the ground.

“Not anymore.” Peter whispered. He cast a shield charm as he opened the door, knowing that she would try to attack him the second he appeared in her view. And of course he was right, because there she was, her wand pointed right at him. “See, you lied.”

“You’re trying to kill me, Peter. What do you expect?” She said, sending a stunning spell even though it bounced off his shield charm.

“I have to.” Peter said. “Expelliarmus!” Her wand soared out of her hand. Peter was never very good at catching, so he let it clatter to the floor in front of him. “I have to, Marly. You know that.��� But still his hand shook.

Marlene winced as she watched the wand fall to the ground. “You don’t. You don’t have to do this, Pete. Please,” she looked him in the face, “let me help you, please don’t do this. Don’t kill me. I’m begging you.”

“You can’t help me. No one can help me. Not until the war is over.” Peter said, his voice sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the fact, to make himself believe that what he was doing was right. “It’ll be fine, Marly. It won’t hurt.”

“They’ll know it was you. They’ll find out. They won't forgive you if you do this.” As Marlene looked at him she could hear the voices of her friends in her head. We can’t be together, not anymore. I’m sorry. We’re going into hiding. I’m scared. You know I’ll win. I love you.

“No one will know.” Peter shook his head, his hand growing steadier by the second. “They think it’s Remus.” He drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to mean it, to want it. “Bye, Marly.” He whispered the words and saw the flash of light.

Marlene’s body hit the ground with a soft thud, her head falling next to the letter. Her eyes lay open, glazed and forever staring.

Peter had to press his hand to his mouth to not be sick, his fingers tingling at the feeling of casting an Unforgivable curse. His eyes travelled from Marlene’s dead, blank expression to the parchment beside her head. He recognised that handwriting. He walked over to her, taking care not to look at her anymore and picked it up. James . He was worried about him… He knew it was all for show, James hadn’t cared about Peter for years, if at all. But maybe he suspected. Peter knew he had to work harder with his so-called friends, if he wanted to prove himself to the Dark Lord. A sharp pain sliced his arm, a small cry escaping him. He looked, his mark was no longer green, but jet black. He’d done it.

“The other side are on their way. Let's go.” A gruff voice called from downstairs before steps moved through the house and disappeared.

The parchment slipped from Peter’s fingers, drifting down to land on Marlene’s outstretched palm. He kicked her wand behind him as he turned to leave the room, now it looked as though she had been killed without knowing who it was, in the middle of reading the letter. It probably didn’t matter much, but it gave Peter more of a sense of ease. He followed the sound of the voice, joining the other members of Voldemort’s inner circle, minus Snape of course. He did not know of Peter’s change of heart, and was not going to learn of it. Not until it was all over.

A quiet ache ran through the house as it was left alone, the bodies of the fallen left to run cold on the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Sirius growled at Alastor, pushing past him as he slammed the door open. “Marlene! Marlene!” He shouted into the house, walking forward towards the kitchen. He gagged when he saw Marcus’ body lying there next to his mother and father. He stumbled back against the doorway, looking around.

“Marlene!” He screamed out, pushing past the other members of the Order who were walking into the scene. He checked the living room before forcing his way upstairs and slowly pushing open the door into Marlene’s room. He slumped down onto his knees seeing her body. “No…” He crawled forward to pull her into his arms, wrapping his arms around her. “No.”

“Sirius…” Remus whispered. He’d only just gotten back from his last mission, the exhaustion obvious on his face. He and Albus had been halfway through their usual debrief when the message had come in, the message that the McKinnons' house had the Dark Mark emblazoned in the sky above it. Naturally Remus had come and had known Sirius would be there. “Oh Merlin, Sirius, I’m…” He took another step into the bedroom, unable to tear his eyes from Marlene’s.

“Get out. Get the fuck out of here.” Sirius snapped, holding Marlene close to his chest, stroking her hair. He looked down at her before he screamed out in agony, holding her tightly; unable to comprehend that she was dead.

“You don’t mean that. You’re upset.” Remus whispered, though a tear had fought its way down his cheek. Sirius had never spoken to him in that way before, not even when Remus had screamed at him for telling Snape about the passageway to the Shack. It stung, it hurt worse than any full moon. “I’m sorry she’s gone, Sirius.”

Sirius could barely hear anything, he lifted Marlene into his arms, lifting her up onto the bed and settling her onto the blankets. He stood up, leaving her there. “Get the fuck out.” Sirius snapped, moving forward to push Remus out of the room.

“Why are you being like this?” Remus asked him, his eyes wide. “This wasn’t me, Sirius. I didn’t- You know I would never hurt any of you!”

“You weren’t here! Where were you? If there were more of us we could have helped.” He growled, his thoughts were jumbled and he just needed someone to blame.

“You know I can’t tell you that! I was away on Dumbledore’s orders, Sirius!” Remus’ hand gripped the banister, his back pressed against it as Sirius backed him out of Marlene’s room. He could still see her long blonde hair on the bed, his stomach turning. “I’m sorry she’s gone, I really fucking am. But I promise you, I was with Dumbledore.”

“How do I know you’ve not been off with the enemy?” Sirius said, closing the door behind him, protecting Marlene in the only way he could. “How do I know you aren’t lying? You got here so quickly…”

“You really think I would betray you?” Remus snapped, the mere implication that Sirius thought he was the spy shattering him. “You think I’d work with him , betray James and Lily, put Harry at risk? Get Marlene killed? Fuck you, Sirius. You dare? You dare think that the things I’ve been doing haven’t been for the Order, for Dumbledore? You think so fucking little of me to consider I’d ever buy in to his blood purity bullshit? Me ? Clearly you don’t know me at all.”

“Marlene’s dead, people didn’t know where she was, where her family was. Marcus.” Sirius wretched, doubling over but trying not to throw up. “How else would they know?” He groaned.

“I don’t fucking know how they found her!” Remus was shouting now, furious at his supposed friend. “But I didn’t sell her out, I didn’t sell any of you out! Because I believe in my friends, Sirius, I would never think you or Peter would have betrayed James. But no, I do work for the Order alone and suddenly I’m a spy. I know you’re hurting, and I know you’re grieving. But I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me for months, and I’m sick of it! So go fuck yourself, I’m done.” He stormed down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, you traitor!” Sirius screamed down the stairs, his knees giving way as he slumped down.

“Get him out of here.” Alastor said to a couple of Order members, who grabbed Sirius and dragged him out of the house.

The front door shut, the green glow of the Dark Mark still lingering in the air. But the house was silent once more.

[yourfinalbow]

hi lol this is totally random but based on a harry potter post you just reblogged and you can completely ignore me if you want, but do you think snape deserved better, or are you a quote unquote "snape apologist"? I'm genuinely curious cuz I've come across a lot of different opinions on severus. Again, feel free to ignore :)

This ended up way longer than it needed to be, and I apologize for that lmao.

Hi! Hmmm I have many mixed opinions on this. First we have to talk about which Snape. Book!Snape is actually kind of an asshole, and not in the fun way. (Way more than I remembered.) But but but Alan Rickman!Snape I like a lot.

And no I'm not mentioning Snape from TCC. That was not Snape and that world was not Harry Potter.

Snape is an interesting character because of how flawed and layered he is.

(Putting a cut because it's so long, and tw for non-detailed mentions/reference to abuse, as well as both trauma and death.)

He wasn't born in a very good household, which I can definitely see as being a reason for why he is who he is. (A reason, not an excuse. Those are two extremely different things.) You look at Sirius, who also came from a horrible household, yet he managed to dig himself out of the mud and make his own path for himself. (Though I have many angsty headcanons for the thoughts he has and being afraid of what he will do and in turn his own mind. WolfStar solidarity. Neither one of them know what they are truly capable of, and both are completely afraid to find out.

Ahem sorry I got a little distracted there.

During the Marauder's era, Snape wasn't a good person in general, but he tried to be nice to Lily. (One of the only exceptions he made.) That being said, (sorry, going on a tangent again), it does not excuse what the Marauders did. As much as they are, in my humble opinion, JK's greatest creation, they should be held accountable for both the prank, and dangling Snape upside down. (Though Remus does make a few good points in their defense later, it's still not an excuse.) Two wrongs never make a right.

Snape doesn't deny Lily's claims at him wanting to join a supremacy group, nor does he say he isn't friends with Death Eaters.

It's clear through the flashbacks we're given that Snape is apathetic in the face of innocent people dying, but once again Lily is the exception.

Dumbledore defends Snape by saying it wasn't his fault that Harry's parents are dead. I actually semi-agree with this. On one hand, he was directly at fault, but on the other hand he had no way of knowing. As a severe Loki apologist, I do not blame Loki for Frigga's death. He may have led the dark elves to her, but he didn't know it was her she was sending them to. That's the comparison I make in my mind, and so I don't completely blame him like other people do. (One could also make the argument that Sirius is to blame. Sirius, who is 100% my favorite character in the entire franchise, gave the secret keeper job to Peter, thinking it would be safer with him. However, he had no ill will or malicious intentions towards Lily, James, and Harry, so I don't blame him.)

All that being said, Snape not only would have been fine with random people dying, he also didn't care whether or not James and Harry lived.

For context:

(Dumbledore is speaking, right after Snape comes to him for help.)

"You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child?" They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

He has a strange relationship with Lily. He obviously loves her, but not enough to want to stop Voldemort from killing the two things that bring her the most amount of happiness. It's clear he doesn't care about anyone except for Lily. Which on some level, I can understand why. When people have traumatic childhoods, they tend to hold on to a person that was there for them. Sometimes it can be the hands of the person who caused them pain in the first place, but other times it is another person who was there for him. He holds Lily's opinions of himself higher than anybody else, and he holds Lily above anybody else, and I think this can be attributed to some sort of trauma response, which is why his love for her is so unusual. That doesn't mean I think he should be fine with killing innocent people.

On the topic of trauma, I think joining the Death Eaters was another response to this, as well as a result of what kind of family he had.

Similar to both Harry and Voldemort, Snape much preferred Hogwarts to where he lived, and such the castle became his home more than his house ever was.

The Death Eaters could offer him something he had never been offered before. He belonged to something. In his own, twisted, traumatic mindset, he might have even almost seen the Death Eaters as a family. Not consciously of course, but there was definitely a feeling of belonging they gave him.

And there's something to be said about the fact that many serial killers in real life come from an abusive family. I don't pretend to understand the minds of someone who can do something so vile, but I have watched enough Criminal Minds episodes to know what they long for is control.

So being apart of this supremacy group, even though he was a half-blood himself and undoubtedly didn't entirely share Voldermort's racist beliefs, gave him both control and something he belonged to.

It's not an excuse, but it's a reason.

Alternatively, you can look at it through a quote from the most recent episode of Loki.

"It's part of the illusion. It's a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear."

So it's also possible that when he was a kid, he thought being a villain was the only way to prevent others from being one to him.

Ok sorry, back on the chronological track.

So he agrees to change sides and work with Dumbledore. (Who must see just how distraught Snape was over Lily's death, to trust him immediately.)

Snape spends most of Harry's time at Hogwarts humiliating his own students. He particularly calls out Harry and his friends a lot, but I can definitely see this being a defence mechanism. He assumes Harry is James and reverts back to what we talked about earlier. (Becoming the villain so nobody else has a chance.)

But but but, he does a lot of good throughout the books. Snape mutters the countercurse, saving Harry from Quirrell during the Quidditch match. He then actually referees at the next match, preventing anything from happening altogether.

In retrospective, we see that he spends most of the first book helping Dumbledore by protecting the stone, and helping Lily by protecting Harry.

Now I could go through and list the goods and the bads of Snape throughout the entire series, but I have neither the time nor the patience, and I think you get the point.

(Except I would like the mention that Snape becomes a double agent for Dumbledore in book four, and risks his life every single day by constantly betraying Voldermort, and never once does he use this as a way to double cross Dumbledore. This was actually probably really hard on him. You can assume that having to pretend to be a Death Eater means he had to do some despicable things just so he didn't blow his cover. If he really has changed by this time, which I would like to think he has, is a lot of added guilt to live with.)

(I would also mention that he tried to save Sirius in book five, but... *falls on floor dramatically* I don't want to think about it.)

Severus Snape's time comes to the end in book seven. At the hands of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, his death is a valiant act of sacrifice. Protecting the living and defending the honour of the fallen.

So, he has done a lot of bad in his lifetime, but by the time we as readers get to know him, his fundamental set of beliefs have begun to change. Through the eyes of what started as an eleven year old boy, you can definitely see that even after this he wasn't necessarily a good person.

And that's because his good is behind the scenes. He's good on a larger scale. He's chosen the light over darkness, but in his everyday life he's still the scared, traumatized little kid he's always been.

And him being this way has reasons, but these reasons are not excuses.

Sorry anon, this kind of turned into a long winded review of the entire character. I know that's not really what you asked, so I'll sum it up in a final few sentences sentence.

Yes. I wish Snape had gotten to live. Not because I'm necessarily a "Snape apologist", but because I find his character interesting, and seeing his reaction to his sacrifice could have been a really good read. Also Harry coming up and thanking him would have been really touching, and as a cherry on top maybe we could have gotten to read Harry apologizing for his father. Maybe even Snape sharing memories of Lily?! (Sorry that might have gotten a little to fanfic-y.)

That being said, his death being a final sacrifice towards the good of everyone, and a final testimony to his change of heart, was -- and I'll give JK credit just this once -- good storytelling, and a good way to end it.

Also I like movie!Snape because fuck yeah he's just so awesome.

If anyone has anything to add/take away, or they just want to discuss the wonder that was Alan Rickman, let me know! (Ask/Comment/Reblog/Etc.)

[tiphprince]

I have many thoughts and feelings about snape leaving Hogwarts. (I would write it but one I am well lazy and I have this weird internal conflict but yes anyways) I will be signing of as 🤺 (this is so long I am so sorry)

So for scene + background purposes : both the mud blood incident and the werewolf prank happens at the 5th year and I guess eileen leaves him. And snape is in this absolute bedroom depression because rn he can't stand himself, there is no scope and like he knows what possibilities lies in both sides but rn he's craving for fimilarity and the only person who he hates that he's connected to is his father right. They both have this anger that eileen leaves them in spinners end and one of them is free. So he does something he hasn't done ever since he met Lilly : he takes a chance and applies to ilvermony he knows he won't get in he's so sure (until he gets proven wrong). And when he gets that letter that says ACCEPTANCE he somehow empathizes with the women who first introduces magic and the same women who ran away from this horrid place and figures that eileen is a clever witch and she's probably okay of not she'd be back or they would find out that she's dead.

He knows that he's meant to be alone (he does the paper work for a transfer alone, he packs alone and he celebrates alone on his departure by allowing himself to feel something when he buys himself a small plum cake) and he feels incredibly small when he enters the ministry where he meets the headmistress but he's hopeful.

And ilvermony is big and it's grand and it's so much more accepting. On his first day he meets a brown eyed girl who's made him feel absolute concern and exasperation in 14 minutes of meeting her (why do you think that England is a sad place he asks her and she simply looks at him dumbly saying your two weather's are rain and heatstroke, and he can't help but agree with her) but he can't help but feel light. There is no Potter, no black no werewolf and maybe his life is worth something. And he's less alone (he doesn't ever say it out loud because he's scared after all he is someone who's great at ruining friendships) because he makes friends some who understand the guilt and the shame and the anger he is carrying while others (and some really good adults) just know that it's not fair that you should treat your own life like this and now he's able to speak about his regrets his guilt to those closest to him 'what you did was wrong but I also think it's wrong that you have been told that holding on to the guilt is the only way you can forgive yourself, I think you have hurt yourself enough' she says to him and there is an absolute pin drop silence until severus takes all the courage to say i think I need help.

Flash forward it's 2 years later in Hogwarts and a ripple effect occurs.

Regulus black feels at first a great deal of anger towards snape because he managed to escape this. Narcissa and lucius understand but they will never admit it. But snape left their snape this tiny greasy kid from coke worth felt his life was worth more or if not he believed in enough spite to take some direct action. That spite is what drove them to stay effectively neutral and hint on supporting dumbledore despite a war that there in the horizon. James and Lilly are together, the loss of friendship leads to a kinship which lead to a romance while Sirius and Remus are okay but they aren't. And Peter well he's shifty ( some days if not most days they all find it liberating to pretend that snape doesn't exist)

And now they all in this campaign to promote unity are in advanced muggle studies class, regulus black is the only slytherin and its painfully obvious on what's to come. And charity Burbage who is this cheery hufflepuff decides to do her video essay on schools but she has this pen pal who is in ilvermony and who's willing to help to show off her school and the people she loves (do you fucking see where I am going with this?????)

And BAM it's this heartfelt Supercut of her favorite places and the people she loves and meets there are snippets of their endearing conversations. And everything is okay until severus snape the boy who left at 15 is smiling at the one recording the video and is sitting casually at a sofa 'hey sev what do you gotta say about Americans' your tea sucks, and to think you would learn from the Boston tea party incident. And the rest of the video shows more people but it's severus who makes the video so much better and so much worse. Because she records his laughter, his joy but it's them who have this weird gut feeling and Lilly cant help but hold James hand tightly and James can't stop staring at the same boy he hurt.

And Lilly comes into this horrible but truthful realization that she's feeling what her ex best friend feels (the disbelief when she can't understand why can't she see him like this, the same way snape felt when he couldn't understand what Lilly saw in James) because there is so much betrayal she feels when he watches him smile at other people and can't understand why couldn't the snape that they are seeing in this video be the one who went at Hogwarts with them??? and James has to see this version of snape he hasn't seen before and thinks maybe they could be friends. And Lilly at that moment doesn't want to answer the question : he's happier because he's away from this place, the same place you love. Would you ask him to leave earlier knowing he could be happy like this?

The video is over and its regulus black who looks so pensive and has this look of hope that maybe goods thing can happen says in a too quite class because everyone knows : I haven't seen him smile like that at all. The bell rings and they just go on and walk a little bit more heavier because all they can think of Severus snape, the boy who escaped and the one who isn't coming back .

🤺🤺🤺🤺

Okay so... this was a completely unsolicited surprise in my inbox the other day, but damn if I didn’t love every single part of it!

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT OUR BOY SAYING FUCK IT AND LEAVING HOGWARTS

For the the other characters it doesn’t change that much, Lily still ends up with James, the Marauders are sad that their favorite target is gone but they get over it quickly, the other Slytherins don’t give a fuck about the poor and dirty halfblood, and the teachers... well, they’re as useless as usual.

But our baby! It’s awful for him at first, the fact that he suddenly finds himself so far away, and so alone, from everything he’d ever known, even the bad. Because at least he knew what to expect at Hogwarts and at home, it was all about the evil you know, and adventure is definitely not his thing.

I’ve always been in love with the “was gone for several years, and came back a changed man” (must be the Naruto fan in me), it’s a bit like anon’s video here, a way to show everyone what they missed, the huge mistake they made in hurting this kid who just wanted to be left alone

I want to see the Marauders praising this dude from America before learning that it’s Snape because he doesn’t look anything like what he used to (meaning he actually looks like a functioning human being).

I want to see Lily, high and mighty with her perfect husband and her son on the way, frown when she recognizes her former best friend laughing and smiling with another girl, looking happier than he’d ever been with her.

I want to see Slughorn in shock when the best potions master of his generation is revealed to be the weird ass teen he’d dismissed on the first day because he didn’t have a powerful family name.

Basically, I want every character who ever underestimated Snape, who ever hurt him, to, if not regret their actions, then at least realize that there was something more to him even back then, that if only he’d been given a chance he could have become that amazing person right here in the UK and not halfway around the world.

Also, I want Snape to not forgive them. Maybe he has to work with them for one reason or another, and he acts just civil enough to not outright provoke and insult them, but he’ll never forgive and he’ll never forget.

[wonder-womans-ex]

Curtain Call

Act one, scene one

Sirius finds him with his head in his hands, back against the brick wall of the information and technology building. He stops for a moment, wondering if he should go over there—ask what’s wrong, or offer assistance—then decides against it. 

He is Sirius Black, and Sirius Black does not help other people. 

Not anymore. 

So he continues on with his day. He walks past the crying boy into the theatre building, pausing by the bulletin board to pull a phone number slip from the bottom of a flyer that advertises free physics tutoring. It tears off at the area code. 

Great—just what this day needs. 

It gets significantly worse when he pushes through the stage door and bumps into Danya, who’s lurking behind the wings, black Abbey Road shirt blending in with the curtains. She smiles at him brightly. 

“Hi, Sirius,” she says. “I was just leaving. I could wait up, if you want—fancy getting lunch together?” 

There is exactly one good thing about Danya Lent, and that is the fact that she doesn’t giggle, or tuck her hair behind her ear, or look up at him through her eyelashes. She talks to him like he’s a regular person, not some sort of movie star. She’s not just attracted to his looks—she genuinely likes him. 

But Sirius just broke up with Remus. He’s not looking for a relationship. And Danya isn’t the kind of person he’d be interested in dating, anyway. She reminds him too much of James. 

“Sorry, Dan,” Sirius tells her, glancing towards where Professor Fischer is sitting at the piano centre stage. “I’ll probably be here for a while; I don’t want to keep you waiting.”

Make that two good things about her—she can take a hint. Danya just nods and grins. “All right. I’ll see you around, I guess!” 

And then she’s gone.

Sirius clears his throat before approaching the professor, startling the older man out of whatever trance he’s in. Fischer’s eyebrows shoot up comically when he sees Sirius, and he pats the spot next to him invitingly. 

Sirius steps forward, sliding onto the piano bench. He absentmindedly plucks a note—D#, he thinks, but it’s been years since he quit piano lessons—and waits. 

“I was quite impressed by your performance yesterday,” Fischer says, and Sirius’s heart sinks. Professor Fischer throws around words of praise like they’re buy-one-get-two-free, and ‘quite impressed’ does not fall high on the sliding scale of compliments. 

“Thank you, sir,” he says anyway, because he knows better than to say anything else. 

But apparently the professor isn’t done yet. “I had been wondering,” he begins, fingers dancing over the keys, yet never making a sound, “Whether you’d given any thought to that course I suggested.”

“What, the creative writing one?” Sirius’s voice, though he tries hard for it not to, gives away his surprise. He’d assumed that Fischer had been recommending the free creative writing seminar to everyone in his class, not him specifically. He’s never had a way with words—not ones that weren’t already scripted out for him, at least. 

“Yes, that one. It’s not like most of the courses we offer here—it’s led entirely by alumni of the university, and most of them are very good writers. I think it would be good for you.”

Now Sirius is intrigued. “In what way?”

“You’e an incredible actor, Mr. Black, but what you struggle with is finding the purpose behind the words.”

(Sirius thinks he has purpose down to a science, but he’s not about to say that to Professor Fischer.)

“Oh, sure, you know what the characters are feeling and why. You have a way with the people you play. But what you lack is the concept of an author.

“I’ve had an eye on you for a while, and what I’ve found is this: if Eloise is walking down the street, you know why she is walking down the street. But you do not know why the person writing the script made the conscious choice to have her walk down the street. You get so caught up in the fiction that you forget it is based in fact. Do you understand this?”

Professor Fischer’s accent gets more pronounced the more passionate he is, and right now he sounds as if he would be right at home on the streets of Berlin. Sirius nods slowly. 

“I think I get it,” he says. “I need to know what goes into the making of a story before I can make the story come alive.”

For this he gets a smile. “Four o’clock on Wednesdays in the Rogers lecture room. You’ll be there?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.” 

***

And, sure enough, Wednesday afternoon finds Sirius standing in the middle of a hallway, wondering where the hell the Rogers lecture room is. He checks his watch—4 minutes to go. He’s glad he got there early, but at this rate, it won’t make much of a difference. 

He contemplates just leaving. He didn’t sign up for the class or anything (wait, was he supposed to?) and it’s not like there would be roll call or anything anyway. But he trusts Professor Fischer, and at least this seminar is something to do that isn’t scrolling through his old texts with Remus and crying. 

When someone bumps into him, he turns around. It’s a girl with shoulder-length auburn hair and a lip ring. Her eyes are green—piercingly so—and he opens his mouth and closes it again a few times trying to remember what he was going to say. 

At first, he thinks oh, fuck, we’re back to being flusted around pretty girls. Wonderful. But then he realizes that while she’s attractive, sure, from an objective point of view, he’s not really attracted to her. 

He’s actually a little bit scared of her. No, scratch that, very scared of her. Maybe it has something to do with the vicious glare she’s sending him. 

“Um,” he says, finally. “Sorry. Do you by any chance know where the Rogers lecture room is?”

She purses her lips and nods, striding past him further down the hall. After a moment, he follows her to the elevator and waits as she jabs aggressively at the up button. There’s a long, awkward silence while the elevator gets to their floor, broken only by the loud ding when it arrives. 

The ride up between floors is even more painful, if that’s possible. Sirius tries to occupy himself by looking at the ceiling, which is mirrored, so he looks at the wall instead. It’s patterned like a booth in some sort of high-class restaurant—greenish, with vaguely paisley-shaped blotches here and there. 

Finally, they arrive at a hallway identical to the one they came from. The walls are the same off-white; the floors have the same grey carpeting. If he didn’t know better, Sirius would say they hadn’t moved at all. 

The girl walks out, the soles of her pink high-tops squeaking until she’s out of the elevator and into the hall. She turns around. 

“Well, come on, then,” she tells him, voice not at all how he had expected. It’s the first time he’s heard her speak, and he’s surprised at the eastern accent. Nova Scotia, he guesses, or New Bruinswick. He nods wordlessly. 

He finds himself being led into a small lecture room—smaller than any he’s ever been in, anyway—with fifteen or so other students milling around, chatting and laughing. On the whiteboard at the front of the room, someone’s written Glendale A.L.L. Creative Writing Seminar. 

Looking left, then right, and finding that his red-haired saviour has vanished into the crowd, he sits down at the very back of the room. He has around thirty seconds of awkwardly waiting for something to happen before there’s a shout of “Sit down and shut up!” from somewhere near the front. 

When the smoke clears—or, if he abandons the metaphors, everyone else has chosen a seat and he can actually see who’s speaking—it turns out the person addressing the room is the same girl who led him there. She’s smiling, now, unlike when she was with him, and her hands are outstretched in front of her. 

“Hi, everyone! Welcome to the A.L.L., or Alumni-Led Lectures, creative writing seminar—free, because we know you’re university students and you therefore have no money.” This gets a ripple of laughter from the seated students, and her shoulders rise a little more. Sirius knows why; positive audience feedback does the same thing to him. “I’m Lily Evans, and I graduated from University of Glenrow last year with a bachelor’s in Engligh lit. I’m going to be your main instructor for the next few months. Here with me to help me out, because I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own, is my good friend John Lupin.”

A boy, tall and lanky, peels himself away from the wall and goes to stand beside her. She says something else, but Sirius doesn’t hear it, because his eyes are fixed on her companion and his ears are ringing. 

Whatever Lily says, that boy’s name isn’t John. 

It’s Remus. 

And he broke up with Sirius two weeks ago.