#that part i think would be like a big takeaway for him

[marc--chilton]

no no no but was wilson good at pole dancing?

is this a recurring event?

WHAT IF WILSON WAS SUPER INTO POLE DANCING. LIKE. WE DON'T SEE MANY OF HIS HOBBIES. MAYBE THIS IS WHY. MAYBE WILSON LIKES POLE DANCING AND I BET HE'D GET ANNOYED IF IT'S CONFLATED WITH STRIPPING (BUT OF COURSE HE'D DO THAT TOO).

aaaaaaaaaa you just gave me new wilson headcanons right there thanks marc

i clearly underestimated how huge "house enrolled himself and wilson into at minimum one (1) pole dancing lesson" would go over with The People

listen. i love wilson i really do but he was doodoo. little upper body strength and not enough stamina. if it was getting house to sweat, wilson didn't stand a chance. bc like reminder, house was always an active dude if he was doing like lacrosse and cheerleading etc etc, and wilson iirc only really played tennis? i think? man's squeaking painfully off that pole and laying on the studio floor afterward for a while because he pinched his nuts on the way down

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[tevanbegins]

To think that Buck's always been bisexual without realising it, checking out hot guys' asses because he thought that's normal. He's crossed paths with many hot guys in his life. He works with hot guys, his BFF is a hot guy. He's been in multiple situations where there have been innuendos thrown at him of his being gay/queer.

But he still never thought much about all of that. Until one day, he met Tommy.

It took one hell of a compelling man like Tommy Kinard for Buck to relentlessly pursue this subconscious attraction till he'd finally had a taste of what it was like, and known for sure that he liked it and wanted more of it.

This is the most obvious indicator that Tommy is not just any other guy. Buck had many choices and chances before to question and explore this part of him, but Tommy is the only one who shook something in the core of Buck's being and made him want it so bad, that he had to keep trying till he got it. The attraction is unlike any he's ever felt before, and not because of the gender of the person, but because of the intensity of his feelings towards him.

Buck wanted Tommy's undivided attention, he wanted to keep spending time with him even if that meant making random excuses, getting to know him better. He couldn't get Tommy out of his head. That's how magnetically drawn he was to Tommy. Tommy's gender is not really a big factor here as most people believe it is, because the key takeaway here is that Buck's never felt this drawn to anyone – girls or guys.

Just because Tommy is his first queer experience, doesn't mean that Buck's using him on a trial basis. That boy's down bad. And that has nothing to do with the novelty of dating a man. It's all got to do with who Tommy is as a person, how patient, caring, and understanding he is, and how happy he makes Buck, making him feel safe and loved in all the ways he's never felt before.

That's the whole point of it. In Tommy, Buck's met someone who could very well be the love of his life. It's just that he never thought it would be a man. For Buck, it's so much more about finding lasting love at this stage, than it is about playing around with this newfound aspect to his sexuality. This is more than a coming out arc. This is a romcom as well, where Buck has finally found true love. He's getting off the hamster wheel for good. His father-figure Bobby and everyone around him can see it.

Tommy is clearly being written as Buck's endgame, and I don't see how anyone in their right mind can be blind to the significance of this storyline. I for one am super-thrilled and optimistic about all the possibilities of Buck and Tommy's romance moving forward! 😍🥰❤

___

[charliemwrites]

Part 5 (it’s getting out of control) of Charmed Slasher Simon.

Part 4 is here. (Master list coming soon)

(Slight warning for a coworker being a bit of a pushy creep but Simon handles it)

“Riiiiileyyyy.”

Ah, that’s your naughty voice. It means he’s going to want to do awful, terrible things to you out of pure endearment for your cheek.

He turns, arches an eyebrow as you nearly skip up to him. Your hair is shorter.

“New haircut?” he asks as if his fingers aren’t twitching to bury in it and pull your head back.

“Yup! Thought about dyeing it orange, but decided it would clash with my flat.”

He snorts, gives in to the urge to curl a strand around his finger, watches it bounce back into place. You don’t seem to mind, sticking your cute little tongue out at him. (If you’re not careful, he’s going to put you on your knees and have you wrap it around his cock right there.)

“Sensible choice,” he replies, “yellow is more your color.”

You giggle, aren’t bothered by his flat, almost inflectionless tone. “You think?”

“Highlighter yellow. Or maybe banana.”

“Hey, I like bananas!”

He smirks. “Oh yeah? Big ones?”

You shove at him, face going hot. He doesn’t move an inch, not that you were trying hard. Touchy little thing. You remind him of those little birds that flutter around lions, picking and pecking right under their noses, amusing themselves with death.

“Don’t be icky, Riley.”

“Icky.”

“Gross nasty.”

“We’re name calling now?”

“It’s not name calling if it’s true.”

He clicks his tongue, ushers you into the building.

“There a reason for the new hair?” he asks, eyeing it. It’s pretty, don’t get him wrong. But he didn’t know you were getting your hair cut today.

“Fancy office party tonight,” you sigh, rolling your eyes. “My stylist just managed to get me in, but now I’ve gotta rush to get ready.”

“Now who said you could go out?”

“What are you gonna do, stop me?” you laugh, clearly thinking he’s teasing. He’s not. If you looked at his face, you’d know it. But you’re busy fussing with your keys, trying to unlock your door.

“I might.”

“Oh, you stop,” you huff, shaking your head. “It’s not even movie night!”

He’s been coming over once a week to watch a movie and drink with you. One of you picks the movie, the other picks the takeaway. He always chooses a horror movie, likes how your eyes water when you get truly scared. You refuse to watch slashers (haven’t told ‘Riley’ why) but you’ll indulge paranormal ones.

It’s not movie night - those are on Saturdays. This is Friday.

“What if I just kidnap you?” he asks. “Keep you in all weekend?”

You hum as if in thought, glancing at him over your shoulder. “Could I go back to work on Monday?”

“Have to see how I’m feeling on Sunday.”

You giggle. “A tempting offer, but you’ll have to settle for kidnapping me just for Saturday.”

“I don’t think you understand how kidnapping works.”

“I’d be a terrible hostage,” you say. He arches an eyebrow, inviting you to continue. “I have to pee when I’m nervous, I’d be talking their ear off - and! I cry like, so much.”

Oh he knows. He thinks of tears running down your pretty face when he cums.

“Some kidnappers like the crying. Theyre sadists.”

You scrunch your face. “But it’s like… gross crying. Total mess. And I make dying seal noises.”

No, you don’t, not in his experience with you at least. But he’s not going to explain that to you.

“Didn’t you have something to get ready for?” he asks because he’s violently wrestling the urge to make good on his threat.

“Fuck!” You glance at your watch, brows scrunching. “If I’m late, I’m blaming you, Riley Simmons.”

“Oh no.”

You stick your tongue out at him one last time and disappear behind your door.

—

He hears you come back at 11:30, has been waiting up. Pauses when he hears two sets of footsteps, a man’s voice talking to you. A wave of bloodlust nearly drowns his better sense.

You brought someone home from a work event? Did you lie to him and go on a date?

“Well, thanks for walking me to my door, Brandon.”

“Was happy to. Don’t want anyone snatching you up off the street now, do we?” An annoying laugh. Yours sounding a little flat and strained joining him.

“Oh, hey, mind if I come in?” Brandon asks. So casually, as if the yes is expected.

Simon’s hands ball into tight fists.

“Ah, it’s pretty late…”

“Well, that’s what Saturday is for, right?”

Oh. That little roach. Simon’s going to hang him by his own guts.

“I have plans tomorrow, actually.”

Good girl.

“That’s alright,” Brandon persists. “Just one drink. Least you can do since I went out of my way, right?”

“I mean, you didn’t have to, I would have been fine.”

There’s some genuine annoyance in your voice this time. Simon’s proud.

“Nah, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you go home after having drinks?” Brandon chuckles.

“I didn’t have that many - and anyway I’m here now, so…”

“And so am I. At least a little something for my troubles?”

And Simon hears just the slightest, faintest ruffle of clothes.

That’s enough.

Simon yanks his door open and steps out. You’re nearly pancaked to your own door, head snapping to him with relief.

“Riley!”

Brandon takes a step back, expression stormy. Simon almost laughs. Little prick is barely taller than you, has done hard work maybe twice in his life. His hands look softer than yours. And he’s wearing a sweater vest.

“Did we wake you up?” you ask.

Simon saunters down the hall towards you. The closer he gets, the more nervous Brandon gets. But you seem to relax a bit more with each step, even shift towards him.

Very good girl.

“Was already up.” He doesn’t look away from Brandon, radiating menace.

You hum in understanding - know Simon keeps late hours. Brandon clears his still-intact throat and you jolt a bit, expression wilting.

“Oh, um. Riley this is my coworker. Brandon, this is Riley, my neighbor.”

“How do you do?” Brandon replies stiffly.

Simon’s not playing along.

“You try to push her again, someone will be pushing you in a wheelchair the rest of your life. Understand?”

Brandon sputters while your eyes go adorably wide, expression caught between horror and gratitude. Like you don’t know if you should be condoning his threats.

“I beg your pardon?!”

“Not yet, but you will if I see you here again, yeah?”

Brandon’s face drains of blood. You press your lips together.

“Now get the fuck out. I’ve got her from here.”

Brandon, worm that he is, scurries away with a hasty “see you Monday”. You don’t reply, too busy blinking up at Simon with parted lips.

He chucks you gently under the chin, eyes narrowing in amusement.

“Off to bed. I’m kidnapping you tomorrow.”

You audibly swallow, then nod.

“Thank you.”

“Good manners.”

First | Previous | Next

Masterlist

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

Overtime overture - Richie Jerimovich x reader

Carmen Berzatto was a fucking dumbass. Okay, let’s rewind and put our customer service attitude on. Carmy was running this whole place by himself. That came with changes, wild cards. Syd’s stage was one. Your starting as a rookie part-time waitress was another. Everyone else knew their schedules by heart. And they had the common sense to remind your boss when they were supposed to end a shift. Not you though. That’s how you ended up working a few hours overtime in the biggest rush you’d ever seen. Alongside the man you had a massive work crush on.

So, how did you get there? You started your regular shift at 14, barely avoiding the lunch time rush. Still, the place was a bit more lively than usual. So Carmy did the logical thing. Forsake training you on a new station and gave you the work you were familiar with. Which was precisely the register with Richie. There was only 1 problem - you had no knowledge on how to enter the orders. So you did the rest while your coworker was busy. Between arranging plates, walking to tables and cleaning trays, you were too. Even in the quiet moments you tried to slip away, making drinks and getting the lobby more pristine. Yet there were still moments where you were too tired to even do anything except stand. Then Riche talked to you about college. You asked about his kid. Safe, work friendly topics. You cringed as you remembered how he had scolded you and Syd for talking about your exes last week, making you prepare for closing instead. That didn’t even top your most embarrassing moment. When Carm dismissed you with a ‘’bye bye, mai thai’’, you blurted out ’mai thai, that’s what got me to lose my virginity’ before thinking. Your boss barely registered what you said, while Richie doubled over in a hyena-like laughter. You were so done with everything that you didn’t even care until later. By the time you got home, you were so mortified that you considered just quitting tomorrow. Luckily no one made any references and you kept your paycheck. 

Little by little, the hours trickled by. It was finally 22, time for you to go home. You looked at Carmy, who glanced down at the schedule and continued giving orders to the kitchen. You waited a bit more, I mean a couple of minutes wouldn't kill you.  And it would help your already dwindling bank account. Plus, who even came to the restaurant this close to closing?Festival goers, that’s who. Apparently there was a big music event happening and the restaurant’s hours were different. And all of your coworkers but you knew about it. Which would make sense, since you weren’t working closing, they were. But little by little you were getting nearer to that. And there was no way in hell you were working a 12 hour shift, walking home and  then showing up again tomorrow. Yet, Richie was working so hard, already overwhelmed, even with your help. So you couldn’t just leave him to handle all these people and their orders. Seriously, they were in and out, as soon as you handed one takeaway bag, another person queued up. Richie could see you starting to struggle. You were slower, leaning more against the counter, he could even hear you swear in a foreign language. But before he could ask, there was another person with a bright sequined outfit asking for a sandwich. It was 12.30, and things were finally calming down. When the lobby was empty, you turned to your coworker and asked

‘’You think you can handle it on your own?’’.

‘’Yeah, why? Oh, you probably wanna go home. When does your shift end anyway?” 

“At ten.”

“Ten? That was more than two hours ago. Why did you stay?”

“You needed the extra pair of hands.”

‘’You’re a fucking angel. Let’s get you out of here. Cousin.’’ Richie yelled for Carm and there went your subtlety. Still, the man you had been helping the last few hours let you speak. Your boss apologized profusely, offering you everything. Then moments later got into a screaming match with Richie over the latter driving you home, instead of finishing his shift. Ah, the duality of men. You guessed guilt won over, because as soon as you were done changing, your crush was there, car keys in hand.

 ‘’Won’t you get in trouble? I mean, there might still be people and what if Carmy gets pissed.You can still go back and finish up.’’

‘’I’m not gonna let you walk 30 minutes in the dead of night. And before you say anything, I know you’ve done it before. When I’m on schedule you don’t have to anymore, it doesn't matter if you end at 20 or 3 in the morning.’’

Seeing him be so kind was a surprise, so you only managed a ‘’Thanks Richie’’ before heading to his car. By habit you went to the backseat and got scolded by a ‘’I’m not a chauffeur, you know.’’. So you quickly scrambled out and moved by him. Your mind flashed with the words suspended license as you fastened your seatbelt. But he was careful, very much so. You, on the other hand, were so bad at actually guiding him, that the Google Maps voice had to fill the awkward silence. When his car was in front of your building, you were relieved and basically ready for bed. 

‘’Thanks for everything, Richie, really.’’ 

‘’You’re welcome, angel.’’. You guess that the nickname was gonna stick, whether you liked it or not. Problem is that you did enjoy it, even a bit too much. Darling, sweetie, honey, your colleagues had cycled through all of those when they had trouble learning your name. Chef seemed to take priority over all of these. But now, every time Richie saw you he’d call you the new name. You’d expected it the day after, but even a week later he was still at it. 

‘’You’re my angel, you know that right?’’

‘’Don’t let the actual Angel hear you. You’ve helped me out so much since starting, it’s only fair.’’

As you were giving a coffee to a customer insisting they didn’t need a takeaway lid, the older man went to also make himself a latte. As if on cue, Carmy calls you both ‘’5 minutes, drinking break’’. Needing the fresh air, you also go out and the smell of strong cigarettes hits you. Knowing your need to fit in, he offers you one. Surprisingly you take it and lean into his lighter. He remembers teasing you about not being able to operate one, your cigarettes with foil, etc. All your inexperienced charm was cute. It scratched the part of his brain that watched hardcore porn, that did a double take when you wore pink dresses. Even if he cringed when you were too young to get his references, your expressions of concentration went straight to his cock. After a couple of shifts, his searches drifted from milf towards college girls. The flame illuminates your blush. Why do your lips wrapped around his ciggie make him as hard as a rock? It was wrong to get the hots for you like that. Maybe it was just a fucked up close proximity thing, like the romance books you cooed about. There was only one couch or whatever. Riche wasn’t blind, he could see the looks that Carmy and Sydney gave each other. Hell, even sometimes he swore your eyes lingered on him. The Bear had its allure, it was a crockpot for not only fights, but sexual tension. 

He must’ve zoned out way too much because you called ‘’Earth to Jerimovich, hello. Carmy is gonna have our collective ass.’’ Richie almost mutters something about having your ass before stopping himself. He just stubs his cigarette out and goes back to working the register with you. Thankfully the clients killed his stiffy before you could say HR violation.

 Richie kept his promise. Despite ending his shift a whole hour before you, he was there, waiting. At this point, there was no point for you to argue. You just accepted your new role as his passenger princess. But as you initially expected, something went wrong. He stops at your house. You wave goodbye and expect him to drive away, as usual. He doesn’t. More like he can’t. The car sputters but won’t start. His eyes drift to the fuel indicator and he sees it’s completely empty.

‘’Shit, Carmy sent me on that product run before you came in. Must have drained my tank.’’ he concludes, to fill the awkward silence.

 ‘’You could stay over. I mean, I’m not sure if it’s gonna be more comfortable, but at least then my roommates won’t call the police on you.’’ you say, half trying to appease the guilt in you and half because you wanted to spend more time with him. 

 ‘’Hey, my car isn’t that old that I look like a hobo. Right? Anyway, you don’t have to do that just because you feel bad for me’’. He hit the nail on the head, but you couldn’t let him know that.

‘’Richie, it’s fine. Tit for tat, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.’’

‘’It will turn cold as fuck, it’s fucking February.’’ he thinks out loud. ‘’Okay.’’ 

He’s stealthy, fitting his large frame into the disheveled college apartment you share with your housemates. You forget just how disheveled your room is. Richie’s eyes dart from the plushies on your bed to the alcohol bottles balancing your stacks of books. You bend over your bed to fix the covers, and he swears there’s a flashing neon sign above your ass saying ‘’Smack me’’. He turns his head and he sees it. A pack of condoms. Brand new, unopened, name brand condoms. In order to not explode on the spot, he asked ‘’So, can you hand me the extra pillow and a blanket or something.’’. Richie was happy with the floor, he really was. It would be the same as his car. Besides, one night of bad sleep wasn’t going to kill him. But then, you reminded him why he fucking called you his angel. 

‘’You can take the bed with me’’. He must’ve made a face, because you clarified ‘’God, not like that. Ummm I meant that it’s a big mattress. There’s enough space for two people to lay down without touching. Plus by the time you get comfortable, I will be dead asleep already.’’

You were wrong. In your own room, your own bed, you were wrong. You had shared it with friends, even a few lovers. But none of them had been as tall as Richie, as broad as him. No matter how any of you moved, there was no way to avoid skin to skin contact. You’re convinced your colleague was too tired of you cause he was fast asleep. Finally you just give up on trying to be comfortable, lay on your stomach and bury your face in the pillow.

 It must have been muscle memory. That was the only rational explanation as to why Richie wakes up in the middle of the night with his hands gripping your ass. He moves them immediately, ready to apologise, to move to the floor, to fucking leave Chicago. You don’t even stir, finally sleeping heavily. He fucking pops a bonner, like he’s 10 years younger than his actual age. Just as he turned away to tuck it into his pants, and you woke up. Thankfully you didn’t scream or kick him out. You just asked ‘’Need a hand?’’

You weren’t sure what came over you. You never thought you would be this bold. But again, there was no rational way to react to your crush touching himself while laying next to you. 

Richie is fucking extatick. But still gentle, having the subtlety you were lacking. The fingers that were on his cock traced over your lips, before he leaned in. His kiss was soft, but needy. Still he wasted no time in pulling you closer to him, rubbing himself against you. Holy shit, the man was hung like a horse. All the rumors about tall men having a third leg certainly were right in his case. You would let yourself be humped by Richie all night, your needy moans muffled by his kisses. He instinctively moves to kiss your neck, nipping at any bare skin he can reach. He thrust against you shallowly and groans.

‘’Tell me what you need, angel. If it’s more, I’ll give it to you. If you want me to stop, fuck I’ll stop. Just please fucking talk to me.’’ 

‘’More, don’t stop. Clothes off, please. Need to feel you.’’ You swear he had a second job as a stripper, because he shed his shirt and pants off in record speed. He’s toned. You let yourself admire his abs for a moment, even this getting to you. You needed to have him and you needed it now. Your hand gingerly place his hand against your pussy, a silent plea to touch you.

‘’You’re fucking drenched, angel. Do I make you this wet? Just from kissing, huh. Can’t wait to see just how sensitive you are. Would you like that?’’ He asked you, a grin on his mouth. 

You nod.

‘’Words, angel. Words, please.’’

‘’Yes Richie, please.’’

That was enough for him to start rubbing your clit, keep you begging and whining. He switches it up curling a finger inside of you and fucking swears. He toys with you, alternating between the two until you come. 

Only then does he get up and reaches for the box. You’re too blissed out to be mortified that he saw your contraceptives. You were too busy wondering how he was gonna use them. He opens the package and doesn’t take his eyes off you as he rolls the condom on his shaft.

Richie Jerimovich is a fucking traditionalist, literally. You were ready to tease him about the missionary, to ask if he could handle it. He took a pillow from next to you and placed it under your hips. No one had done that before, but before you can ask what’s going on he taps the head of his cock against your clit. The first thrust is shallow. But the second one is so deep inside you, that you can��t help but say

‘’Holy shit’’ 

‘’Language, angel’’ You have half a mind to flip him off, but then he moves again and all your thoughts are gone. You had never been this wet before. And he fucking started rubbing your clit in time with his thrust. You can’t help but fucking moan, and along with the sounds of the headboard hitting the wall, it’s a fucking cacaphony. Richie muffles your sounds with his hand.

‘’Let’s not have the whole building know my name, huh angel. After all, if you get a noise complaint now, I’ll have to stop.’’

You whine and that’s all he needs to keep going. Richie feels that you’re close, you were fucking clenching against him. His pace picks up, he’s chasing his own relief. He’s determined to make you come a second time, to show you he’s all about your pleasure. There’s also a little voice in his head, saying that if he orgasms before you, he’s too old for this. Spent, you groan out ‘’Cumming,please’’.

Were you begging for more or for permission, he wasn’t sure. Both options sounded fucking great to him, so he said ‘’That’s it, let go. Such a good fucking girl for me,angel’’.

Usually the girls he’d hook up just mixed in ‘’yes’’ and ‘’fuck’’ when they orgasmed. You fucking managed to say ‘’Richie Jerimovich, you’re a fucking god’’. That’s all he needs to follow suit and come. He rolls off of you, panting and sweaty, ready to throw the used condom in your thrash. You, in all your fucked out naked glory, manage to dart to the bathroom, grab the toilet roll. After he wipes, you return, aiming to avoid a UTI. When you’re back, he’s waiting with his fucking arms draped against your spot, clearly wanting a cuddle. In his arms, you finally managed to get some good sleep. 

Morning comes. Richie stays, because of course he does. It turns out both of you don’t really do this. So it’s a very long and awkward silence before one of you suggests breakfast. While you’re eating, he somehow manages to get himself a free toll from a friend of a friend who owes him. Finally, you manage to say only a portion of what you want, namely

‘’Richie, ummm can we do this again. I think after last night I’ll have to go to the walk in every time you brush past me.’’

‘’Of course, angel. I’m not nearly done with you.’’

You choke on your food, having the feeling that it’s not gonna be the only thing you’d be choking on in the future. God bless Carmen Berzatto and his inability to remember your schedule. 

[meggannn]

hades 2 conversation dialogue my sister and i found interesting

SPOILERS obviously. my sister has been failing her runs on purpose to get more dialogue out of people. this post discusses dialogue that was not in the developer stream.

on hermes (mel and hecate are speaking about hermes and artemis at the start):

on melinoë, artemis, and the olympians:

on why mel is the only one who can kill chronos:

on hecate & mel's relationship:

on a secret order that mel is apart of:

on mel's job at the crossroads:

tension and secrets in the crossroads!!!!

when you give hypnos nectar:

(i wasn't fast enough to get his reply. hypnos says something like "zzzz... welcome to the.... zzzz"), then mel says:

other things i didnt screengrab:

hypnos: mel can remark to charon that hypnos is still asleep, charon says "arrghhh," and mel says "wait, he's of more use this way...?" possibly implying hypnos's sleep is not what it seems

nemesis: is uhhh kind of really mean!!!! she says something to mel along the lines of "you're upset you lost a family you don't remember? i KNEW my mom, all you did was be born"

moros: you can invite moros to the crossroads and he stands near the fated list far from everyone because nobody wants to talk to doom incarnate (odysseus in particular makes a point to say he'll stay away). iirc he introduces himself as "the bearer of bad news" which i find kind of clever but also a bit sad. if you give him nectar iirc he says nobody has given him a gift/offering before. aphrodite also notes that moros has made mel's acquaintance and calls him good-looking.

hephaestus: he criticizes your weapon's workmanship when you first meet him, then later takes it back and compliments it as very good, and says "just don't go spreading it around" to the olympians.

takeaways:

hermes is "missing" but he's on a mission for the war to find out what chronos is scheming

artemis (and hermes) didn't tell the olympians hecate has been raising a titan-killer (mel) and the olympians don't really believe she can do it but send her boons anyway, presumably figuring why not

only mel can enter the house of hades to challenge chronos, so that's why she needs to make this journey alone

hecate is rather sweet and mentorly with mel, but she gets exhausted and irritated when mel doubts herself. i didn't grab it but there's a bit where mel says if hecate had not held back, she knows she would've lost, and hecate snaps "you know?" asking mel why she puts limits on herself

mel, hecate, selene, and artemis are part of a secret order called the silver sisters that hermes also supports. olympus does not know about it. all these gods (save hermes) also have moon iconography in their designs

pretty sure moros will be romanceable. i think his and mel's interactions are very sweet, and aphrodite notes he's arrived and calls him good-looking, which reminded me of how she commented on thanatos to zag. no idea who might be a female romance option yet (i'm assuming there is one)

hephaestus boons are a lot of fun, per my sister

the big one: HECATE AND NEMESIS KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T??? hecate maybe knew an attack was coming and didn't do anything?? nyx is also confirmed to basically be not around though we don't know where she is. and hecate is something called a handmaiden??? is she meant to serve nyx? it now seems like the children of nyx are meant to serve hecate, and eris isn't doing that, but nemesis is playing guard duty begrudgingly. so maybe nemesis thinks hecate let the house be captured/destroyed for her own ends, possibly also to get nyx out of the picture, so nyx's children would serve her(?). maye nyx is also a silver sister and hecate is now in command at the crossroads/on earth, second only to selene?

[spiral-lemur]

OK THE ANNUAL’S OUT AND I JUST NEED TO BABBLE ABOUT STUFF SOOO SPOILERS AHEAD READ AT UR OWN RISK ETC ETC ETC

OK STORY NUMBER 1.

Ok wow. No it’s fine really. Go ahead. Go ahead and BREAK MY FUCKING HEART right off the bat. They don’t even know later in they’re subconsciously Still following the path Starline mapped out for them by still aiming to replace Sonic and Tails. Like yeah this time Eggman is on the chopping block for real which would make Starline lose his gay little mind but GODDDDDDD

Also it’s really funny that the general perception is that Kit is the more mellow of the two. Appearance wise? Yeah. Mannerisms? For the most part yeah. But deep down this little guy is FUCKED UP.

Like every so often the comic just reminds you “see this cute little guy? he can and will drown you for nothing more than surge’s happiness if he sees fit.” Lil dude does NOT care. Genuinely curious as to how this plotline will develop later on since Kit is clearly misguided. Yes he wants to help Surge and she’ll be happy for a while with this arrangement…as long as she doesn’t find out. What happens when she finds out though? I doubt she’ll be very happy to know all her “accomplishments” were part of a carefully constructed narrative set up by the very person who was meant to support her. I’m just RRRRRRRRGGHRGGHHHRTHHHHHH about them yknow? Also I think it’s interesting that this is set sometime after issue 75; very curious about what “he had to drag them out of there” means for the safety of Restoration HQ and I’m even more curious about where Surge and Kit are right now. Are they still there? Bunking somewhere else? What happened with them and their ties to Clutch and Mimic? Lots of questions to wait and find out. Very excited to see how this goes.

Now for the Knuckles story; admittedly this one isn’t spinning around my brain as much because of the other two stories, but it’s still a lovely read. It serves as some insight for Knuckles’ thoughts about his current life and relationships with his friends and it brings a good ol’ smile to my face.

The art FUCKS as usual when ABT is involved. Like this page? This page right here. Gorgeous. Would be a very fun redraw I think. And I feel it says a lot about how Knuckles feels about these characters without having to say anything which is nice. Rouge, for all the trouble she gives him, also gives him an outlet to blow off some steam and a reason to keep up with his training(aside from Eggman of course), and she obviously wouldn’t be there if he didn’t respect her to some degree. Sonic is someone Knuckles views as a worthy rival, but he’s also a treasured friend alongside Amy and Tails. They may clash, but he knows that at the end of the day they’ve got his back, and he’s got their’s. The Chaotix are a little trickier to pinpoint, but they’re here for a reason. I believe they add a dash of excitement and companionship to his life. They might be a bunch of clowns, but they’re HIS clowns and he cares about them just as much as everyone else here. He knows he can depend on them when it comes down to it, which is what I believe the Master Emerald was trying to get at here.

Also Sonknux enjoyers got a little snack here. A little treat even. But it’s nice to see that just like these guys are still on Knuckles’ mind, he never left THEIR minds either. It’s nice to see that they aren’t just trying to get his help for something and just giving him a friendly visit because 1.) We get to see Knuckles and 2.) The dude could use a day where they don’t bring trouble to his doorstep LOL

Also what the FUCK happened to the Tornado guys I JUST said you weren’t bringing trouble to his doorstep you better keep it that way—

And then it ends with the gang catching Knux up to speed on their latest shenanigans. Like I mentioned earlier I think this story serves as a look into how Knuckles views his current situation, and it’s very heartwarming in my opinion. I think this sequence really sums up the big takeaway from this story:

sorry the quality is ass it’s hard to do these things on a phone

There was a moment where I thought that bright light echidna was Tikal, and I’m a little disappointed it wasn’t. It’s still nice but if it’d been her, you’d best believe I’d have a lot more screamy words about it. It’s not a bad story at all though, and if you’re a Knuckles fan who loves digging into his deeper thoughts I think this story is a good read for you. Also YIPPIEE KNUCKLES CONFIRMED FOR ISSUE 80!!!

Now for the story that I(and I’m sure many others are) am currently foaming at the mouth the most over. It’s no surprise at all that a look into Mimic’s backstory would be something I eat the fuck up as a massive fan of Tangle, Whisper, and everything relating to them. But holy WOW this story had everything I could’ve wanted and I will be using this as fuel for my Diamond Cutter Autism™️

Okay, starting off with him being an actor before joining the Diamond Cutters. This may not seem as relevant to people compared to literally everything else in this story BUT you guys. You guys. When I tell you I lost my shit. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT.

This excerpt is from a (now scrapped) fic where I tried tackling a possible redemption arc for Mimic. We hadn’t had any backstory for Mimic so I’d tried making one up that tied into his shapeshifting. I ended up scrapping the whole thing because Mimic kept getting worse/more irredeemable as a character and I didn’t feel like trying to keep it going; and I feel the need to bring up that Tangle and Whisper would’ve never fully trusted or forgiven him(like. at all), he just would’ve gotten over trying to kill them by the end. I swear I wasn’t aiming for a “you did this horrible shit but it’s ok you feel bad about it so we’re buddies now :3” type deal. Anyway, that useless bit of info aside, I wrote this thing back in 2022. It’s not EXACTLY the same way obviously, but seeing this after having written him as a former actor made me actually stop and gape for a second before scrambling to find that old draft. I guess I could just SMELL the washed up actor on him. And yeah maybe it was the most plausible thing, but I’ve been given an inch and just this once I’m going to run this mile in circles.

After the whole acting thing, the war started, Mimic wanted to show off, left some other teams for dead, etc etc and then he met THEM.

This…houghhhhhhhhh

Do you think Whisper ever thinks back to this day? Do you think it’s ever crossed her mind that if she’d never invited him, her friends might still be alive? Do you think this thought eats her alive on bad nights? Whisper honey I am so fucking sorry. It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known how fucking shitty this guy really was. You didn’t deserve that.

FUCK!!!

Ahem. It’s really bittersweet looking into how these guys acted not just as a team, but as friends. We got a better look as to how these guys were personality-wise and it just stings knowing that this little found family is no longer here because one of them just couldn’t handle vulnerability. Smithy was like an older brother—wise, but just as goofy and playful as the rest of them, and just as ready to tease his little twerps. Claire was like an older sister; similar to Smithy, always looking out for the others, but just as ready to make fun of them. She was probably the straightman in a lot of their antics, but with that loving “oh, you” sense to it. Slinger was the goofy, cocky younger brother. Ready to go for the biggest thing he could find, and usually needing to be saved from his own ambition. He’d make up for that trouble by bringing in a lifetime supply of laughs for all of them. And Whisper…honestly I’d go as far as saying Whisper back then was just like Tangle is now. Optimistic, eager, bubbly. I wonder if that might be why she gravitated towards Tangle rather than the other characters she was friendly with; even before their miniseries. I’d show more images for this part but apparently I can only use 10 images on a phone and my computer still isn’t up so that’s just SWELL. For the last image I’ve got, I’ll just use this:

It just stings so HARD when you really think about what was taken from her. We might have gotten the Whisper we know and love because of it, sure. She may not have met any of the people she holds dear now if it hadn’t gone the way it did. But the fact that she had this little family, the fact she loved them so dearly, the fact she’d put so much trust into them—only to have it ripped away in one selfish decision? That’ll hurt forever. That’ll haunt her for the rest of life; it’ll haunt me too. God the Diamond Cutters sting so good.

Now let’s get Mimic’s little monologue in here. Ahem.

“I got what I wanted. Did I just crave validation? Was it ever about the spotlight? I can’t be myself around them. They don’t know what I’ve done…friendship is supposed to feel good. Solid. Like a foundation…so why does it hurt so much? They don’t see I’m a walking contradiction. One look p-past my facade and I’ll be thrown away! I can’t afford to be so fragile. I look back at my acting days with a soul-wrenching truth staring back at me. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s a rehearsed charade! They are all mirrors, saying what I want to hear until they get what they want. They can’t be trusted. I refuse to play this game anymore.

The moment an opportunity to be rid of these nuisances came, I readily took it. The Diamond Cutters would be gone from this world and mine. I could clear my mind and never feel such visceral pain from their fake smiles. Attachment was erased, like weeds pulled from a garden, as they perished. The pain inside nearly vanished, a good sign for my healing journey. Yet…there was a single, terribly annoying headache left to deal with. I can’t fix what that team did to me until I shatter every last one. Only with this knife, will I finally be cleansed.

I can’t think straight tonight. What is the point of reflecting on all these memories? Am I afraid? Or am I just…tired? Soon, that pain deep within myself will be washed away. And this can all be a bad, bad dream. I’m selfish, arrogant, and colder than a frozen lake. I enjoy the chase, watching others struggle, and I love that about me! I know what I am, so…who are you?”

Man…a LOT to unpack here.

Mimic is a coward. There’s certainly vitriol to my words, but it’s also just a fact based on the evidence we’ve seen. He’d been burned so many times chasing the spotlight in the past, he’d grown to view it as conditional. No one ever truly valued his contributions in his eyes. He was just another part of an act, and when that act was over, no one would need each other anymore—so whenever he felt done with putting on the “show” of contributing to a new team during the war, he quickly cut ties. Some ways more permanent than others—we’ll never know for certain if he got those people killed like the Diamond Cutters, but he certainly didn’t care if he did. The show was over. It didn’t matter.

Then the Diamond Cutters came along. The show was going well, it was a broadway smash! Then the actor’s nemesis began to creep in; imposter syndrome. Mimic knew deep down, he didn’t deserve this success. How many people did he really cut down as he chased the spotlight? How many people had seen his previous work? How long until that all came back to bite him? He didn’t know. It terrified him deep down, judging from the moments of hesitation he’d shown in his monologue. Surely it began to gnaw at him more and more towards the end. He can’t trust them, his smiles were fake so they all had to be faking too, right? There was no way there was such a thing as genuine friendship, teamwork, or any of the like. If it didn’t exist in his world, it couldn’t have existed at all. It began to be kill or be killed; and Mimic intended to be the one doing the killing. So he cut them down too.

But Whisper survived. Whisper was a present reminder of the horrible, selfish things he’d done. As long as she’s around, he can never fully ignore what he’s left behind. He can never truly run away from all of it. So he has his sights set on her; killing her will surely solve all the pain within himself. It has to. It has to.

And he still hesitates. Maybe it’s the way suppressed guilt is manifesting itself, maybe it’s being overly cautious, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. Perhaps once there was a time he could’ve gone back on everything and reinvented himself, but it’s gone now. And he’ll run away from that possibility for the rest of his life. He just has to get rid of that last poster before he can move on to his next big show.

Or I could easily be reading way too much into it but who cares I’m having fun this way! Really enjoyed this story—easily my favorite of the three if you couldn’t tell from all that word vomit. This annual might just be my favorite of them all so far, and I’m excited to see how these characters continue to develop as the comic runs on. That’s just about everything I can think of to say, so that ends my babbling. Thanks to everyone who read this far! I don’t normally get so wordy but this annual really just activated something in me.

[alwaysgodownwiththeship]

"Got Any Better Ideas?" Aziraphale's Conviction and Crowley's Resignation

I was watching that scene in 1x06 again, and something clicked for me that never any sense to me before. In fact, it explained a couple things in season 2 .

See this scene is beautiful, heartbreaking, and hilarious all in one. We see yet another example of how much Crowley cares about Aziraphale... And we see Aziraphale making a bizarre move to (?) attack Crowley, then make a childish threat that won't matter given that they're both about die.

Before, I just assumed that he was just saying whatever thought ran through his head.

Now I get it.

Recap: Crowley realized that Gabriel and Beelzebub told on them Satan. Satan, who was now coming to kill them all. Crowley was this close to giving up, and then Aziraphale picked up his sword.

There's only one reason why: Aziraphale wasn't going to give up. In that moment, Aziraphale chose to fight Satan. He knew he would likely die trying.

(Psst! Past self: He's not giving Crowley some weird, friendship ultimatum!)

He's terrified. But resolved. And he knows this really will be their last conversation.

And Crowley gets it. He might not have believed that they were going to survive Satan's arrival, but he hadn't quite put together like this: If he isn't able to come up with another plan, Aziraphale will take up his sword against Satan and Crowley will have to watch him die.

So Crowley got a better idea, remembering Adam's power, he decided to give the human(s) the choice and protect it alongside Aziraphale.

Season 2

This is part of larger ongoing dynamic where (unless circumstances allow Crowley to give Aziraphale a better plan which actually addresses the problem) Aziraphale will act, like choosing to help Jim!Gabriel. If he thinks it's the right thing to do, he'll do it, regardless of the costs. It won't deter him at all.

Crowley learned that about him some time ago.

He saw Aziraphale lie to save Lot's children despite fully expecting to go hell for it.

(Plus Aziraphale straight up lied to God about the flaming sword that time, right? UMM... Why didn't he fall????)

So there Crowley is, apologizing(?), dancing, and lying about the full extent of the danger they're in.

I don't agree with Crowley's actions, with the lying especially. (Seriously, Crowley? Tell Aziraphale about the Extreme Sanctions!!) But Crowley is resigned to help at this point because he knows Aziraphale will be in danger anyways and he knows that when Aziraphale has made his mind up, he won't change it. Crowley can only offer his help or provide a different solution.

And since their communication problems are so big right now, their dynamic is to work around each other rather than with each other.

Right from the very beginning, their conception of the problem is very different.

Crowley: We're exposed to danger because of Gabriel, we have to find a way to hide Gabriel/ourselves from Heaven and Hell.

Aziraphale: Jim!Gabriel (innocent like Lot's children/rather childlike himself) is in danger, we have to find a way to hide Gabriel from Heaven and Hell.

TAKEAWAY

-Crowley wants them both to stay away from the toxic plans of Heaven/Hell so they can be safe together.

-Aziraphale wants to directly interfere with the plans of Heaven/Hell when he feels the responsibility to do good.

Takeaway on the ending of season 2:

When their perspective on the problem is so different to begin with, the breakup makes a little more sense to me. Though no less horrible.

(Wild Card: Heaven is the symbol of what is right and good? Aziraphale since when??? UGH, I have to meta more about this: Aziraphale's (and Crowley's) belief in the ineffable plan and how it affects his idea of reform/fixing the institutional problem of Heaven.)

[calqlate]

GENSHIN BOYS AS BOYS I'VE CRUSHED ON BEFORE

PAIRING(S): al-haitham + diluc + kamisato ayato + thoma x gn! reader

MASTERLIST

CW(S)/TW(S): coarse/foul/strong language used

TAGLIST (italicsed blogs are unable to be tagged): @deeomi + @loving-august + @mshope16 + @saintbernardthethird + @thelonelyarchon

A/N: not me writing about these irl guys when the last 2 guys turned out to be red flags (clown emoji). n e ways, pls enjoy!

— DILUC RAGNVINDR | the boy who i first liked

as a mega stickler for tradition, he will write letters to you. he was the first one who started this little tradition between both of you, handing you a sealed envelope shyly and telling you to open it when you get home. and so both of you wrote letters to one another, handing them to each other jn person and reading the other's letter in the confines of your own respective homes before penning a response.

he is a bit possessive and protective, never letting anyone open doors for you or escorting you but himself. if you do let anyone do any of the said chivalrous acts, just know you will have to face a mopey and pouty diluc when you next meet him.

he is not one to show pda, but he will always hold your hand in public, with your fingers interlocked with his.

he always has to be by your side, making it his job to be your personal bodyguard. he will always be next to you at parties and will always look out for you.

— THOMA | the boy who was by my side (granted, for 2 years)

he watches over you very carefully and makes sure that you never get hurt. however, if you do get hurt, he will be the first to calm you down and distract you from the pain.

he always knows how to cheer you up when you are down and honestly is such good company to be around. he has big brother energy (omg iykyk but he has similar vibes to hidden love's duan jiaxu) <3

he is also very good with his words and knows how to compliment you when you feel like shit about yourself. got a bad haircut that makes you look like a mushroom? he does not think so; if anything, he thinks you are gorgeous no matter what!

— AL-HAITHAM | the boy who never speaks much

he naturally does not talk a lot and mostly keeps to himself. if you have a big group of friends and he is part of that said social circle, he will mostly sit and listen to the others talk.

he is terrible at comforting people, but he will try his best <//3 he will give you awkward pats on the shoulder and tell you that everything will work out. (not the most 100% foolproof approach, but hey, he has got the spirit!)

he is the kind of person that does not like to go out and have lunch with friends. rather, he would have his food packaged as a takeaway and eat while he is working. so, you definirely know that you have a special place in his heart when he agrees to go and eat with you (and your friends).

he will give you the lowdown on why you should not date a particular person and has receipts on the ready (do not ask how he got that much dirt on them...)

— KAMISATO AYATO | the boy who has natural rizz

one thing i have to say is that he gives compliments at sporadic moments and will completely take you by surprise. for instance, you could be minding your own business and he will say something to make your heart skip a beat.

he is also a bit cheeky and will shout "boo" to friends who turn the corner and bump into him (he will apologise afterwards with a grin though).

he is also really formal when speaking with people (in general) (and it is probably because of his upbringing as well) and he is a genuinely nice person to meet

he is the kind of guy who jumps onto the bandwagon when someone else is trying to hype you up

he will also tell you to take care of your health and tell you to watch yourself when you fall sick

[randonwilmonfan]

I'd love to talk more about the locker room scene in S2 E2 of Young Royals, where Wilhelm tries to convince Simon to get back together with him, in the process (sadly) demonstrating that he believes his mother's feeble offer to "talk" about him possibly coming out when he's 18. This takes place after his almost-removal from Hillerska.

Plenty of people have already pointed out how Henry snitched on Wille and Felice’s kiss, but apparently didn’t choose to tell anyone (as far as we’re aware) about Wilhelm almost pleading with Simon to get back together with him during that post-almost-dragged-out-of-Hillerska conversation. And that's definitely an interesting thing to chew on. But there's more...

Here are a few other things that stand out to me too:

First -

I think it’s worth pointing out the obvious — Wilhelm clearly sees Simon in his future long-term (possibly for the rest of his life). The way he casually says to Simon “So, we’d only have to keep it a secret for 2 years” implies three things very clearly.

a) He immediately and easily sees himself together with Simon in 2 years and beyond. Actually, specifically, definitely beyond. Because his eye is on the prize: coming out and living openly with Simon *after* he turns 18 — implying his focus is entirely on the intended afterwards period. He doesn’t even blink at that idea; it’s obvious to him.

b) He also really doesn’t seem to think 2 years is a big deal. For a teenager who’s only lived 16 years on this planet (only approximately ~11-ish of them in a state where they’re forming conscious memories) to think 2 years is just a drop in the bucket is kind of wild. Even 6 months feels like forever to a kid. So Wilhelm — a child — viewing time from this perspective suggests he’s likely balancing 2 years out against a much longer expanse of time; hence why those 24 months would look so minuscule and shrug-worthy by comparison. In other words: he sees himself with Simon in the LONG long term. Two years is nothing if you’re imagining growing old with someone and spending the rest of your many decades on this Earth with them. (All of this is pretty much confirmed later on in S2, when Wilhelm offers to abdicate the throne for Simon.)

c) He also doesn’t seem to think Simon should be appalled by the idea of waiting for 2 years. Yes, sure, we can chalk part of that up to selfishness and lack of mentalization / empathy for Simon’s point of view. But I’m going to suggest it’s more than that. My takeaway is that he assumes Simon also sees them as endgame, and so naturally wouldn’t be bothered by waiting a bit longer in order to spend forever together. (Sadly the conversation does not play out that way for him; ouch. Though no shade to Simon: what he said in response was realistic and fair.)

Second -

I think we have to rewatch his interactions with Simon as Henry slams a door and slowly walks past them with a raised eyebrow. Because, in S1, that Wilhelm would have immediately jumped away from Simon to create distance and try to pretend there’s plausible deniability about what their relationship has been and could be again. That’s (one) part of the whole point of S1: Wilhelm is not ready to be brave enough to face a homophobic aristocratic world and take a bold stance to stand by Simon.

Instead, in S2 E2, he sits still. He stays right next to Simon. In fact, he *leaves his hand resting directly on Simon’s thigh.* And he knows someone is coming their way! He heard the door slam inside the locker room. Obviously he knows someone else is here. But he doesn’t jump. He actually doesn’t really stir much at all.

He sits there like it’s of no importance, and he doesn’t care who sees. Or, even, who overheard this very intimate, vulnerable, and pleading conversation. A conversation in which the future King of their country is almost on the verge of begging his ex to please be his again… not just for now, but for multiple years’ time. I mean we’re like 2 steps away from Wille practically offering Simon a “promise ring” (not sure if that concept holds up in Europe, but it’s basically a very pre-engagement type thing in the US; it’s not common though). (Their convo also makes it very clear Simon was the one who dumped him and that he’s having trouble accepting that and moving on.)

Yet he doesn’t seem perturbed or disturbed by Henry’s presence and overhearing and seeing them. He doesn’t seem embarrassed at all. He’s not ashamed of his love for Simon. Even more specifically, he’s not afraid of people (Henry) seeing him put his heart out on the line, and of them knowing that he wants Simon back - not for just a hook-up, but for a very long-term, serious, committed relationship. And he doesn’t make any moves to emotionally or physically distance himself from Simon, despite Henry’s clear witnessing of this private moment.

This is a subtle way to show that, even though Wille hasn't yet gone through his full S2 journey of self-awareness and self-growth, he has still already begun changing and growing after the end of S1. So he’s at least started to learn some of his lessons about what he needs to do differently.

Anyhoo, the whole point I’m trying to make is… gosh there were so many fascinating things happening in that scene. And they rush right past us in the blink of an eye! But there is so much meaning built into every small interaction and non-interaction there, and into every nonchalant assumption the characters casually voice.

I’m sure there’s more meaning and are more details I missed, too! What did you think? I’d love to learn more from others’ perspectives, too. :)

[thestralluvr]

Lars Pinfield x reader headcanons part 1

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

- he’d have the usual socials like tiktok, insta and all that but his only post is a picture of you that you absolutely hate and his following is just his friends, family and famous cats.

- he probably has another instagram account for his cat basil, a chunky tabby who he adores with his whole heart.

- taps on the possessors enclosure (the possessor taps back it’s like a weird little high five) before he leaves and at this point it’s become an instinct.

- his work space is definitely an organised mess, you’ve got no clue how his system works but he surely has one.

- you guys definitely get takeaway at LEAST once a week (especially on a friday).

- claims he doesn’t know how to flirt yet every single word that comes from his mouth leaves you BLUSHING.

- he’d never admit it to anyone but he secretly loves reality tv 😭 it has him hooked and it’s one of his favourite parts of the day when he can just unwind with you and watch shitty television.

- this man just adores you, you’ll catch him just admiring your features like you’d hung the moon and stars.

- i feel like he’s a decent cook but a terrible baker, he never fails to set off the fire alarms.

- one morning he’d tried to surprise you for your anniversary by baking you a lovely breakfast.

- it ended with the pair of you standing on the front lawn in your pyjamas waiting for the fire brigade.

- baking is now left for you and uber eats.

- this man had a hipster tumblr phase i just know it and you take every opportunity you can get to tease him on it 😭.

- i’d imagine his favourite bands would be stuff like the kinks, tears for fears, the smiths, talking heads, soft cell etc. (he’s a music nerd).

- he loves gloomy rainy days, 1 because it reminds him of his home town, 2 because it’s the PERFECTTTTT weather to snuggle under blankets with you (his favourite activity).

- maybe has a few tiny tattoos that only you’ve seen besides one.

- one night the two of you went out with a few coworkers (much to lars’ annoyance) so what better to do than take the opportunity to get pissed? makes the boring conversations less boring right?

- anyway let’s just say it was an eventful night as you’d both woken up with the wonkiest matching ghost tattoos on your wrists.

- the pair of you weren’t exactly ecstatic to find your drunken decision but hey, they didn’t get covered up. besides, it makes you think of him whenever you see it so it can’t be that bad.

- he has a tendency to run his thumb over your little ghost whenever you’re holding hands or cuddling, it’s very sweet.

- you take turns being the big and little spoon every night but basil is always the tiny spoon.

- he’s a little touch starved so he never ever takes any little touch, kiss, and caress for granted.

- speaking of kisses, ALLLLL THE KISSES!!! forehead! head! hand! eskimo! cheek! neck! this man is just so lucky to be able to kiss you he never wants to stop oml i could cry he’s just the sweetest.

- basil definitely gets many kisses too she’s very spoilt.

i hope this was decent, my first time writing for this lovely man so i hope i did okay!! lmk if you want anything in particular for the following parts through my asks or comments!! <3

[justin-chapmanswers]

Justin my boy, if I may ask, what happened to Candle between III 18 and 19? ‘Cause at the end of 18 she seemed pretty hurt, but at the beginning of 19 she seemed fine. Could we get any insight into that?

Can’t wait to see you at the meetup my dude!!

Okay sooo Candle, right? What's the deallll with Caaaaandddleee.

Okay so 18 and 19 were written as one script. And in that script, the mindset for that element of Candle was: "okay so after she fights the Unvitationals, Silver's hurt feelings will lead the Inner-Flame to consume him, and he'll fight her and knock her out. She'd be knocked out and unable to help fight against the Unvitationals, and then she and Silver would chat when she wakes back up later, after Silver has realized his wrongs and wins the day with Thinker'ing as opposed to utilizing the Inner Flame power in a way that Candle wasn't approving-of.

Buuut then once the episode split into two, the story paused at a point when Candle had just passed out, and it became common speculation that she was straight-up *dead* n all. But that was never the intentional takeaway. The assumption was not big deal would be made of it since we've seen Candle's flame go out a couple times before without issue (granted, not the Inner Flame, specifically, going out) and MePhone didn't like explode right after Candle collapsed (she didn't need full recovery, just a nap, but laying this out for the purpose of getting into the viewer's perspective of not being sure on which). But hey, that interpretation of events happened, and that's that.

Not even the first time this happened, actually! Oh boy did I watch a lot of reaction videos of s2e14 "Hatching the Plan" where people would see Microphone carrying Fan's knocked-out body (granted, his x-eyes definitely gave the wrong idea away) and exclaim "omg did he die forever?" Whoopsy! Sometimes you get so lost in constructing a specific moment that you don’t think about alternate interpretations of that moment. Allll a learning experience.

Tldr - Candle was knocked out for a little bit. zzzzzz. Which ofc was still not cool on Silver's part, but it was never meant to be interpreted as anything worse.

(And yay, excited to see you too! Meetup incoming!)

[lesbianphan]

The Myth of Sisyphus and PHILosophy (lol) - a brief essay on two nerds playing a game that might not be that deep but hey who's gonna stop me from pushing this boulder up the hill of writing this?

Disclaimer: it's finally my turn to use my useless degree that included a lot of literary analysis for something extremely important to society: analyzing Dan and Phil content!!! yay!!! This is about to be incredibly nerdy and waffly, but like what else are you doing with your time anyway on phannie tumblr?? (pls read it, I just reread Camus for this for the first time in years okay I'm dedicated to my craft)

"The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." Albert Camus

As a part of Camus' essays on absurdist philosophy, The Myth of Sisyphus deals with the pointlessness of existence, through retelling the story of the greek myth about the titular character who, as a punishment for defying Death, was condemned to spend eternity pushing a boulder up a hill just to watch it fall back down. That may sound bleak, such is the futile nature of getting up every day and doing tasks, after all.

However, that's not really what the essay conveys. As the quotation provided in the beginning shows, Camus' takeaway about the myth of Sisyphus isn't about how easy it would be to take the option of not engaging at all with the repetitive tasks that make life what it is, or even focusing on how disappointing this pointlessness is. It's about how the journey of getting up everyday and motivating yourself to hit the peak of the hill is all there is to life, really. The absurd conclusion is, ultimately, that pushing the boulder up the hill everyday is what true revolt against the senselessness of the universe is. If there is no reason, we make the reason by climbing up with our rock everyday.

We choose to be happy every day and appreciate our rock, our hill, our existence as a whole. We choose to believe Sisyphus is happy, and, as disappointing at it may sound at first, it's worth it to live your existence, as long as you decide to appreciate your present more than your future (the destination, that elusive peak of the hill).

In Dan's words, you decide to have "just one good night" together every night on tour, you appreciate the journey of climbing out of that mental health hole again. You climb up that hill again and again, because it's worth it, and there are things - bigger than yourself or your personal boulder or even your destination, - that are worth fighting for every day. You embrace the void, and have the courage to exist today, not tomorrow atop the hill.

As Camus' Myth of Sisyphus was, admitedly, one of the inspirations behind We're All Doomed (and it shows!), it makes it even more intriguing to inquire about how much of their reactions to that particular game about Sisyphus informs their perspectives on the world and their personal philosophies.

As a disclaimer, I must add: I don't claim to know Dan and Phil personally, and I only have acess to the parts of them they decide to share, the performing side of them. So, quite obviously, I can be fully off the mark on this one. Still I think it's interesting to dive into, if not for accuracy, at least for better understanding of the personas they portray online, and how their worldviews bleed into it.

The first big point a lot of people brought to the table is the shift in Dan's philosophy ever since writing and performing We're All Doomed and (most likely) a lot of therapy and work on himself over the years. Gone are the days of existential crises being treated as a joke, or mental health in general being discussed without care for what the audience may take from it. During the video, it's quite apparent that he tries very hard to mantain that voice of reason (sometimes breaking it out of frustration, which is fair!), to somehow guide us into an understanding of what this philosophy means to him personally and to his self-proclaimed magum opus WAD.

This is relevant, of course, insofar as this becomes the thesis of the video, silly gameplay and jokes aside. So I couldn't not mention it here, as it's extremely noticeable and commendable of him to now have a different kind of perspective towards the topic of mental health, in this more mature era of their content. You can tell it's relevant to him to try to get the point of the myth across, in a way that tells his audience, as much as it tells himself, that giving up isn't a choice. You must keep pushing that boulder and you must believe that Sisyphus is happy, and so will you be during that journey up the hill. Even when it falls down again and you meet frustration, you pick yourself back up and keep trying to enjoy the present once again.

Secondly, regarding Dan's behavior during the gameplay, it's notable that he gets extremely frustrated when the boulder falls down (who wouldn't?). However, he always tries to catch it and put it back in the path upwards, instead of throwing his hands and giving up like Phil seems to do. This shows, very loosely, how he handles frustration in his own life: trying to fix things and get them right on path again. It's sometimes the most difficult choice to make, but it's extremely corageous to just keep trying in face of extreme frustration. We've seen it all over gaming videos, but also on his own personal projects getting shut down, and Dan still insisting on carrying on creating things that are personal to him, even in face of rejection.

Phil, however, seemed to give up out of frustration extremely easily, so much so that Dan kept pointing it out how he'd let go of the controls and let it happen. It might not mean much, but since he himself claims he gives up on things that are too difficult, it might just be an aspect of his personality to literally let go in face of things he perceives as impossible to achieve.

It is also notable that when he made a mistake, no matter how competitive they usually are on the surface, Phil decided to ask Dan for help, or try to tag out entirely and hand it over. This may not only be related to frustration, but also to knowing how to ask for help, and also a belief that Dan is "the strongest one out of both of us" and he will be there always to help (quite adorable). Dan's tenacity in front of difficult situations is a great complement to Phil's anxious eagerness to hand over the controls when things get overwhelming.

It's interesting to point out how their personal worldview influenced their gameplay as well. Dan was focused, sharp, driven to get to the top of the mountain by keeping in complete control of the boulder at all times. He held on tight to the challenges and kept going, and he wasn't afraid to run back and catch himself enough to try again. Phil's style showed something very interesting about him that is notable in gaming videos in particular: Phil's propensity for making little goals and celebrating the little things in the path to a goal.

Getting through one obstacle that was once difficult is enough to make Phil seem content with his progress. He celebrates every little step of the journey and, in that way, it's easier for him to appreciate it naturally. He's focused on the little tasks more than the big picture, and that makes the experience more enjoyable. His goals shift, of course, as they progress through the level, and the difficulty ramps up. Even so, he's still more likely to point out that's the farthest they've gotten and, hey look at this ramp, let's get through this ramp and then we've won, because that's my goal right now, and that's enough to make me happy in the present.

This counterbalances Dan's more bleak outlook wonderfully as well. While Dan is focused on making it to the top of the hill, and gets extremely discouraged seeing there's a lot more ahead they'll never get to experience, Phil's view is that they got through that one challenge and, surely, next time they'll get through one more, and so on and so forth. Focusing on smaller things is, ultimately, a good way of finding happiness in the process of pushing up that boulder.

Moreover, Phil's brief comment about how you could "make up little stories in your head" is also extremely telling of the kind of person he is. As Camus' philosophy claims: the only way to live with an absurd world is by living through it and learning what it means to be happy in a world that doesn't make sense. In Phil's mind, a bearable way to get through the harrowing experience of every day existence is making up stories, which matches up with his creative mind. Art and creation are indeed things that can make life worth living, and it seems that even subconsciously, that's the path he'd choose against the pointlessness of repetition. The joy of creation is, certainly, and extremely human and beautiful way to find meaning in life.

The most interesting point I'd like to raise, though, is how they got through that game together: as much as Dan accused Phil of distracting him, it was interesting to see that he didn't notice that's entirely the point. The boulder falling down is nothing compared to the stories we share, the conversations we make. What is important is the journey you take, and hearing about your best friend's weird school inter-sports anecdotes, even if you have to start over because you got distracted.

And that's entirely the point I'd like to leave this of with: pushing up that boulder is only worth it if you learn to live, if you learn to love, if you learn to enjoy the present moment, instead of focusing on that ever elusive destination. Therefore, what makes not only the video interesting, but also the game bearable at all, is their interaction with each other. Much like in life as partners, Dan and Phil would, obviously, climb that hill together. They would find the joy in the little moments together, laugh, yell, get frustrated, pick each other back up again in moments of frustration, and keep going up that hill together.

The only way to live is if one imagines Sisyphus happy. The only way to exist is if you decide that, no matter what, you'll create your own meaning. The only way is to find joy in the now instead of later. The only way to make those grueling day to day tasks happy and fun, is by choosing hapiness. Dan and Phil have, in every sense, decided to keep climbing up that hill of existence together. It may be slow and clumsy and loud at times, but it's their own experience. Ultimately, the only way to experience that gaming content is by imagining Dan and Phil are happy to make it for us, and that we can all share a little bit of our hill in moments of laughter and community. That's what makes life worth it in the end.

A/N: this may be the weirdest thing I've ever done, pls accept me for who I am, thank!

[herefortarlos]

Just some takeaways from these interviews that feature Ronen, Gina and Brianna!

Enzo will be back in episode 5x08! "We'll probably have to see Enzo in some orange colors, a jumpsuit perhaps because he's in big trouble right now."

Ronen gushing over how cute Jonah was when he says, "Hi, big brother."

Could this be leading to TK and Carlos taking in Jonah? And Ronen's deflecting response of, "I have no idea, that would just, I don't know, I just, I just work here." And looking away from the camera.

Ronen talking about the karaoke scene and having "no idea it was going to be Freddie Mercury, you know one of the most incredible singers of all time. Really talk about under pressure because of course they gave me the Freddie parts. So I was a little nervous because it's one thing to sing karaoke in front of people but this is gonna be watched by millions of people, so I hope I did a good job, and to sing with Henry and then Rob was so iconic... because it's TK and his two dads and how important they both are to him and just crucial to who TK has become as a man...." "They picked Under Pressure for us for a reason, I think the lyrics are very telling."

Talking about the Tarlos photos! "That's gonna be a recurring gif for the rest of time for sure! They knew what they were doing with that one."

Gina does not think Tommy would have stepped away if she had not been hurt like that for her to realize she had to take care of herself.

Brianna and Gina talk about filming the hospital scene! Tommy having to come to terms with leaving a job that means the world to her. "It had so little to do with trusting who I'm going to pass the torch along to and so much more to do with the trust and belief in the woman that's in front of me. And so it was bittersweet...but I know you've (Nancy) got this!"

Ronen saying, "Tommy is Nancy and TK's mama bird. Especially after 5x05." "That scene at the end of 5x07 is so beautifully heart breaking between Gina and Brianna, I just rewatched it again and just started crying on my own, and oh my god, when she asks her to become the temporary Captain..." "But that leads to some really fun stuff for Brianna and I. It's like the kids get to go out on their own now, so you'll see a lot of paramedic calls with just us, which is really fun. But Brianna really holds it down as Captain and we'll see what that leads to Tommy if she can come back or not. There's a lot of intense stuff for Tommy."

Brianna saying, "It's gonna be just TN." "Ronen and I had a lot of fun with the TN dynamic. The kids are taking the car!"

Ronen saying, "TK and Nancy are so close, especially this season, and Brianna and I got really close this season, and I just love her so much and I think you start to see that when we go out on the calls ourselves, and they're gonna be silly little kids, but still professional and so good at what they do and I think that dynamic is going to be really fun to see." "I'm so excited for people to see Brianna really shine and get her moment especially as Paramedic Captain, that's such a huge honor."

Gina talking about the story line Rashad wrote for Tommy this season, "Sometimes it's triumphant and sometimes you don't want to be there... If you're invested in Tommy, it's gonna hurt."

Ronen talking about Carlos' father's murder. "Carlos starts making more progress in the case...and then there's gonna be a few other questions that are going to be brought up that are really going to challenge TK and Carlos."

"Some of the questions are, "Are we ready to take the next step in our relationship?"

"TK fears for his husband's life because Carlos is getting involved with some really bad people, and I think TK vividly remembers seeing his husband almost die when he was kidnapped and I think that's probably an image that plays in his head and I think that's something he never wants to see again. His actions are coming from caring and fear..."

Ronen says TK has at least one scene with Campbell.

Ronen was asked about Judd drinking at his party and if TK will notice with his addiction, and Ronen said, "That leads to an incredible scene between Judd and TK. I think it opens the door for Jim to really shine and another side of Judd we may not have known. It's also just beautiful because Jim in real life is sober and it's a beautiful way for Jim to put his own experiences into that character."

[cedarxwing]

The ending of Hannibal the novel explained

(aka the breastfeeding scene)

Here's the passage (end of Chapter 101):

I thought everyone was kidding about the breastfeeding kink jokes until my partner read Hannibal and the whole ending flew over their head. Their main takeaway was "that was weird." When I checked reddit, it seemed everyone was confused there too. I was gobsmacked to see one guy say that Thomas Harris was playing some cruel joke on the reader by writing an ending that didn't make sense!

How many people are reading Hannibal like this, completely missing the resolution to Hannibal's character arc? They must finish the book confused about what it was all about in the first place. So here's how I understand it!

First, I need to get this out of the way: a lot of people hate this scene, and from what I understand it's because they're weirded out by the "breastfeeding kink." Which is fine, but it makes me want to gently hold them by the hand and tell them that it's ok for someone to suck on a nipple. It happens all the time. Sometimes it just feels good, sometimes it's part of a breastfeeding fantasy, and sometimes it's literal breastfeeding. Between consenting adults, this is all fine and normal. Let's all move past this knee-jerk repulsion (or alternatively, sit in our discomfort and expand our horizons) so we can analyze this piece of art together. :)

Next, authors LOVE Freudian psychoanalysis. Even though it's all nonsense, it's full of literary allusion and makes for compelling narratives and character studies (childhood maladjustment, repressed memories, etc), which is basically catnip for a writer. Thomas Harris was no exception, and probably creamed himself (as I did) when he learned that Freud's oral-sadistic stage was also termed the "cannibalistic stage," referring to the time when an infant is growing teeth and begins to bite at the breast--the psychosexual urge to devour and destroy the thing you love. What could be more appropriate for Hannibal?

Next, consider the pattern of Hannibal's Il Mostro murders. He killed young couples in one of the most romantic cities in the world, then arranged them as Chloris and Zephyr from Botticelli's Primavera, exposing Chloris's left breast just like in the painting. In classical art, an exposed breast is often a symbol of fertility. Chloris is associated with spring, new growth, and transformation.

Perhaps, at the time, Hannibal rationalized these murders as retribution for rude behavior. Maybe the couples were performing disgusting PDA. Maybe they were obnoxious tourists on their honeymoons. Either way, it's clear to the reader that Hannibal has some deep-seated hang up about sex and romance.

The particulars of this hang up are open to interpretation, but based on Hannibal's obsession with the rape and transformation of Chloris as well as his embarrassment at the paintings of Leda and the Swan in the German's house, I think it's safe to say that Hannibal feels like any relationship he has with a woman who isn't aware of his true (monstrous) identity would involve a degree of violence/lack of consent. He is forever barred from normal romance.

Having given up on sex/romance, Hannibal is unable to consciously recognize his desire for Clarice, so he sublimates it into a more general familial love. He longs for a return to innocence, to return to the time before he ate Mischa and became an unlovable monster (cue the teacup metaphor).

But even familial love seems like too much to hope for, so he sublimates it further into something that seems more attainable: resurrecting the person whom he loved and devoured, and who loved him in turn (Mischa) through Clarice.

So we have the breast as a symbol of sex/fertility (Chloris/Clarice), as an object that is loved and devoured (Mischa), and as a literal source of sustenance that must be given up during infancy (mommy).

Big brain Clarice connects all these dots and, in the very same style of therapy that Hannibal has been using on her, distills Hannibal's psychological problems into a single poetic gesture that completely fixes Hannibal in an instant, proving that she's not only his intellectual equal, but is, in some ways, his superior.

When Clarice asks, "Did you ever feel that you had to relinquish the breast to Mischa? Did you ever feel you were required to give it up for her?", she's ostensibly asking Hannibal if he's stuck in the oral stage of childhood development (which yeah he probably is). On a deeper level, she's asking Hannibal to consider if he's given up on love.

When Clarice exposes her breast in the same fashion as Chloris, says, "You don’t have to give up this one", and suspends the drop of wine from her nipple, she is shifting his perception of her breast from familial devoured sustenance to a sexual object. Basically, "Why do you want me to pretend I'm your sister when we could be banging?" Hannibal is being aged out of his childlike mindset, not regressing into one.

There are other layers of meaning in this act. The hedonism of using thousand dollar wine for food play is a sign of Clarice's character development. The way Hannibal kneels before Clarice is a position of subservience, but could also be interpreted as devouring Clarice in a way that's new to him. It's the most self-actualized thing Hannibal has done since escaping prison (LOL) and marks the end of his hero's journey (as one of the first things we see him do in Hannibal Rising is nurse).

Personally, I don't read this scene as breastfeeding kink. Yeah, Clarice talks about breastfeeding, but that was more a metaphor for other stuff. Considering the direction of Hannibal's character arc, I understand this scene as him briefly licking the wine off before they have sex. But to each their own! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANYWAY, yeah, it's unsettling. It's obviously meant to be. But it's beautifully unsettling! Hate it all you want, but this is peak cannibal romance, to me!!

[hisonlyreid-er]

School Girl Crush Pt 4

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| A new BAU member appears and Spencer sees her as a little threat to his status of boy genius. Being unable to get comfortable with each other causes some issues within the team. Will they be able to move past it and work together?

Spencer Reid x FemBau!OC Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption

Six months in the US had flown by. My routines had been built up strong as well as my relationships with the members of the BAU. I had grown comfortable in my role in the team and allowed myself to settle in. Each case brought us closer together, letting us rattle our ideas off each other.

A break was uncommon in our line of work, we worked most days and had little time to ourselves between cases. The whole team had been given a week off after a particularly long ad grueling case. I had been dragged to a girls night with JJ, Garcia and Prentiss. We sat in a dingy bar for hours, laughing, talking and drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. Our chatter wasn't about anything, just the most random conversation that was fueled by excessive alcohol consumption. I never had been a big drinker but Garcia was determined to get to me to try all her favourite drinks, in one night. If any of them asked me about Spencer, I wouldn't have had enough sense to keep my mouth shut. I don't even know how I managed to stand up and walk out of that bar.

Sunlight hit my face, burning my eyes. I groaned at the splitting pain in my skull. Now I remember why I don't really drink. The hangover. I was sprawled haphazardly on top of my covers, in the same clothes from last night. How did I even get home last night? There was no memory of the hours I spent with the girls. That's a good sign. It was really lucky that we wouldn't have a case for a few days because it was going to take me at least a day to get over this. I had to think rationally. Water and painkillers. It took a while to get from my room and to the kitchen. The sound of my own footsteps worsened my headache.

When I left my apartment I had taken a couple Advil to try and numb the pain. My outfit wasn't every put together, a pair of baggy jeans and a hoodie with the hood up. I needed coffee but ran out before our last case. There was a coffee shop a few blocks from my place so that was my destination. The spring sun was beating down on me, stinging my corneas. I preferred it back home, always rainy, dark, miserable. That would be ideal for me right now. But alas, I was living my life with my dream job in the land of the free, what a horrible life.

The shop wasn't super busy as it was around 10 am so most people were at work. Suckers. I would laugh but I wasn't exactly in the right place to be laughing at people. The lovely barista took my order quickly and got to making it. Maybe I looked like I really needed that coffee. I didn't even have the energy to scroll through my phone while I waited, just stared off into the distance. "Lyn?" My head snapped in the direction of the voice.

Dr Reid? My face flushed red as I grew shameful of my attire. He was stood there looking very put together, cardigan buttoned up, hair neatly messy. Gosh Lyn, pull yourself together, he's just a colleague. Then, I realised that I hadn't said anything, just stared at him like a creep. "Dr Reid. Good morning." I try to mask my strangeness with a smile. In his hand was a takeaway coffee cup, his signature satchel strung over his shoulder. Why did he have to look so good? Yeah, I was definitely a creep. Before he could say anything, my coffee appeared on the counter. I thank the barista, taking a sip and turned back to Reid. My embarrassment was still strong as he subtly scanned my clothing. "How's your time off?" His voice had an edge to it that made me want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. "Good. Had a girls night last night." I couldn't quite meet his eye as I spoke. "Really?" And then, before I knew it, we were sat across from each other at a table.

"Garcia made you drink how much?" We were laughing together as I recounted my night. "Probably around 6 drinks. Each time she gave me a new one she'd say that she was lying before and that that was her favourite." Our cups were long empty but we stayed. "Aren't you hungover?" He seemed really shocked. I was pretty sure I looked as bad as I felt. "Oh extremely. I was hammered by drink 3, blackout drunk by the end of the night. I don't even remember going home but I woke up this morning in my bed and the same clothes from yesterday." Everything was so relaxed. It was strange to think about how 2 months ago I was convinced he hated me but here we were.

We refilled our drinks twice as we talked aimlessly . Reid spouted the most random information and I listened intently. It was peaceful, watching him talk about the stuff he's passionate about. I couldn't believe some people found this annoying. I never wanted him to stop as I watched him, my chin on my hand. There was a sparkle in his eye that I could not get enough of. "Hotch did what?!" I asked him incredulously. Our conversation had drifted to stories of the team that I had never heard. The stories seemed wild to hear when spoken but they were just the same as what we experienced on cases. God, our job is wild.

A small part of me was sad when we had to part ways. The hour and a half we'd spent together was the best I'd had in a long time. It was refreshing, a normal conversation away from the gore we saw everyday. Reid stood across from me on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop. "I'll see you on Monday." I beamed at him. "Yeah, I'll see you on Monday." He echoed my words but neither of us moved, just stayed staring. I decided to leave first, turning on my heels. "Bye Reid." I called over my shoulder. I saw him raise a hand and give me a little wave. "Bye Colesta." I smiled the whole way home. It was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. My chest was warm and fuzzy every time I recalled the look in his eye or the way his voice got excited. I'll be over my little crush soon enough. I just had to wait it out.

Returning to work on Monday was actually enjoyable, I was starting to lose my mind with nothing to do. Not that I would ever admit it out loud, I missed my team, a lot. When you spend weeks with people you grow accustom to them being there and if they aren't, it's very noticeable. I joked with Prentiss at her desk, Morgan joining us when he arrived. Everyone had their routines. Hotch would be preparing for our next case in his office, Rossi would be in his. Garcia would be clacking away on her keyboard, gathering important information. JJ would be getting ready to deliver the case and Reid would be arriving at any moment. As if one cue, the lift dings and Reid steps out. It's just a silly little crush.

It seemed that I didn't get over it as quickly as I'd liked. Obviously I focused on the case, prioritising it over my feelings but sometimes I'd catch myself staring at him. Butterflies swelled in me when we met eyes and when he smiled at me, oh good lord. I tried my best to be professional but when he smiled at me, I wanted to giggle and kick my feet like a lovestruck teenager. Sometimes I forget that I'm a 23 year old woman and an officer of the law, I shouldn't be acting like this.

After that case, Reid and I would get coffee every few weeks when we had time. We would catch up, exchange stories and laugh together. Each time we spoke seemed like a step in the right direction. Some of the others seemed to have noticed it too. I got questions from Prentiss and Morgan about the change between us. It sounded like everyone knew about the friction between me and Reid, and now we were a little closer, it showed. It was easy enough to hide my feelings from my male coworkers but the girls, they saw straight through me. Prentiss was the first to mention it, she did it subtlety to try and gauge my reaction, forgetting that I'm a profiler too. I managed to keep it from her for a few days before Garcia caught on. Nothing could escape Garcia so I was royal screwed. They interrogated me for an hour and finally broke me. I confessed to my little crush and our coffee shop rendezvous. And they never let me live it down. Every chance they got was used to tease me, even in front of Morgan, but he wouldn't know a thing. They even teased me in front of Reid and I couldn't help the flush of my face when he looked over at us, that made it much worse.

Around a month after we first ran into each other, we went our seperate ways again. On my way home I thought about everything. It made me ecstatic as I realised that we might be friends now, no more hard feelings. I was friends with Reid. He enjoyed my company as I enjoyed his. God damnit. Now it would be even harder to get over my crush but I didn't care. I made a friend. If I was still in school, Mum would be so proud of me. She probably wouldn't care now, seeing as I'm an adult but I was still full of joy. Spencer Reid was my friend and there is no way I would risk messing this up now. I would shove my feelings deep down. Nothing would ruin this. Nothing.

Sorry this is a shorter part. Part 5 will be so much longer and is the one I'm most looking forward to writing.