#that one where she shoots on lj

[the-physicality]

this is one of those things that you have to watch more than once to get the full effect

[alfredojesta]

laughing jack's relationships!!!

a crash course in friendship

Laughing Jack doesn't understand feelings too well. This makes it difficult for him to exhibit empathy, sympathy or general compassion for anyone. He's been seeing humans as nothing but toys he can mess with. Their feelings only matter to him for the sake of his amusement! Fun, fun, fun! Laughing Jack loves having fun! But when he meets William Grossman — LJ starts to change.

WILLIAM GROSSMAN

LJ: "WILLIAM!!! A GOOD LITTLE KID. I MET HIM ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT WHILST HE WAS DUMPSTER DIVING FOR EXTRA CHANGE!"

Will: "Laughing Jack and I are like this." He crosses his fingers. "Best-friends for life!"

William eerily resembles Isaac. Laughing Jack subconsciously sees this as a second chance to make things better — to heal his inner conflict. However, his consciousness won't let him admit that. Therefore, he aids William in his misdeeds, guaranteeing him that he will someday become a serial killer. It's something that brings LJ more regret than it brings him satisfaction. But in regard to William, LJ always speaks positively, considering him to be a close friend. He protects the kid, whether he wants to or not. Because this could be LJ's redemption. The one he so desperately wants.

On William's end — Laughing Jack is this incredible killer clown who's going to teach him how to be one! William brags about his friendship with LJ. Although, he can admit LJ is overbearing at times. There's only a certain amount of chaos they can cause together before William has to stop.

FRANKIE THE UNDEAD

LJ: "Who?"

Frankie: "I wanna take my fuckin' pistol and shoot that clown's head to itty bitty bits."

Because Frankie is William's roommate, LJ and Frankie have had their fair share of interactions with each other. None of these interactions were positive. LJ thinks he's a total jerk and doesn't know why William is so interested in him.

Frankie wants LJ to die. There have been far too many times where LJ has stolen his money for Frankie to be comfortable.

LAUGHING JILL

LJ: "HA! JILL IS SIMPLY RIDICULOUS! I CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE SEE US TO BE TWINS. WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE!!!"

Jill: "If I'm honest, I don't like Laughing Jack at all...! He's so cruel...!"

Even though these two come from a similar place of betrayal, they have entirely different ideals. While LJ wants to kill children, Jill wants to save them by killing their abusive parents. LJ thinks Jill is stupid for this (though he'll never admit it, he wishes he went that path instead.) In addition, he's jealous of how well Jill gets along with Candy Pop. He wholeheartedly thinks Jill is trying to steal his friend away.

Laughing Jill despises Laughing Jack. She loves children with all her heart and it sickens her to see someone kill them so mercilessly. Jill tries to avoid LJ, but being apart of the mansion means they're bound to have encounters.

CANDY POP

LJ: "AH, CANDY POP! MY DEAREST, BELOVED, AMAZING, SIMPLY THE BEST, EXTRAORDINARY, BEAUTIFUL, WORK OF ART, STUPENDOUS, ASTONISHING, ASTOUNDING, PHENOMENAL, BREATHTAKING, TERRIFIC, AND WONDROUS JESTER!!! YES, YES, YES I ADORE HIM VERY MUCH!!! HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!"

Candy Pop: "My dearest clown! What a pleasure to be around. How I wish he did not kill children, but I suppose every person has their flaws."

Laughing Jack believes Candy Pop to be hilarious. A clown and a jester — great friends who leave each other in hysterics. Their dynamic has been positive since they met. Candy Pop is the first person who's been affectionate with him in a long time — both verbally and physically. Thus, LJ holds strong feelings toward him, causing him to be rather possessive. He belittles those who want to interact with Candy Pop. It's jealousy, for sure. LJ rarely meets someone of his calibre. He's in awe over Candy Pop's abilities. They frequently go out together to "explode things into a bajillion candies!" LJ also eats Candy Pop's hair, or chews on his arm, sometimes because he literally tastes sweet.

Candy Pop sees Laughing Jack as a close friend of his. Everything he does, from the hand-holding to small kisses on the cheek, is platonic and will remain platonic. While LJ is fun to be around — and in someways, Candy Pop empathises with him — he is way too erratic. Other than that, he is cute! Candy Pop respects and appreciates him. He is oblivious to LJ's jealousy.

JASON THE TOYMAKER

LJ: "I reckon Jason the Toymaker should fall into a pit."

Jason: "Eugh." He grimaces at the thought of Laughing Jack alone.

Laughing Jack only likes Jason when he can mess with him. Although recently, he's started despising Jason more because of how Candy Pop clings onto him. LJ has been plotting Jason's death ever since.

One annoying jester was enough, but now there's an annoying clown. And the worst part is, that annoying clown is horrifying to even look at. Jason wants to kill someone everytime he hears LJ's voice.

ZERO THE HERO

LJ: "ZERO IS MOST FUN TO HANG WITH! FEARLESS DEMON! I APPLAUD HER!"

Zero: "THAT CLOWN UNDERSTANDS ME! TOGETHER, THE HUMAN WORLD SHALL COLLAPSE UNDER US!"

Laughing Jack and Zero wreak havoc together. The mansion's biggest threats are those two. Zero is difficult to befriend, given her arrogant and disorganised personality. LJ often doesn't understand Zero's character. But he doesn't have to because all that matters to LJ is that she's chaotic and makes things fun.

Zero, being as misanthropic as she is, likes Laughing Jack for the sole reason of him being another demon. She believes that if she gathers enough demons, they can take over the world. ...But also, she generally thinks causing trouble with LJ is a fun pass time.

THE PUPPETEER

LJ: "DEAR PUPPET!!! Due to his influence, my diet has greatly improved! Now I eat these for dinner!" He holds up a bag of pebbles.

Puppeteer: "LJ is... an interesting fellow. I make attempts to expand his food options."

Laughing Jack, weirdly enough, gets along with The Puppeteer. Their conversations are simple and, because of Puppeteer's easygoing nature, get rather therapeutic. LJ wants to impress Puppeteer by taking his advice.

The Puppeteer thinks Laughing Jack is a little weird, but he tolerates him. He's one of the few people who treat LJ nicely in the mansion. Pup is also the only person who knows what happened between LJ and Isaac — not because LJ explained it to Puppeteer, but because he pieced things together. He's interested in how LJ's mind works and wants to know more.

KAGEKAO

LJ: "I must take Kagekao to a rehab center!"

Kagekao: "Can he leave me alone?"

Laughing Jack usually finds Kagekao to be a boring alcoholic. But he and Zero think forcing him to participate in their antics is funny. There's no real bond besides them pulling pranks together.

Kagekao has learnt to tolerate Laughing Jack, but he still wishes there could be some distance. He's frankly tired of LJ and Zero bothering him, especially because he'd rather spend time with other people.

Some honourable mentions: he hates Jeff the Killer for certain reasons; all of the kids in the mansion are terrified of him; and Eyeless Jack is his self-proclaimed name-buddy.

TLDR: Laughing Jack likes fun people who aren't close to Candy Pop.

[xcaptain-winterx]

i need more dad!lloyd in my life

Funeral Planning

dad!Lloyd Hansen x reader

summary: Lloyd won’t stop until he finds what’s his

warnings: angst, fluff, gun, blood, murder, angry Lloyd, baby

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.

Main Masterlist Daddy Sociopath Masterlist

They know they fucked up, like really fucked up. There’s no way they are going to see the next day. They got told that this is the most dangerous part of the job, but it looked that easy. Why should it be that hard, you only watch and nothing else. If they only knew that this job would be their death sentence. All of them are running around, checking every corner in hopes of maybe seeing the next day.

“What are you doing here?”

They are not going to see the next day.

The men turn around to see Lloyd standing there with crossed arms and a glare that would haunt everyone who looked at him. Lloyd Hansen is already scary when he’s doing nothing, but seeing him now makes you want to shoot yourself. All of them look at each other, thinking of who should sacrifice themself for the team.

“If you don’t tell me why you’re all here and not the place you are suppose to be, I’m going to cut off all your guys fucking erection incompetent dicks and send them to your mothers!” Lloyd screams.The new guy decides to step forward

“We cant find him”

A bang is heard and the guy falls to the floor, a bullet between his eyes. The men look at Lloyd and see the steam coming out off his ears.

Lloyd clenches his jaw, looking at them with so much anger “What the fuck do you mean with you cant find him. WHERE IS MY SON!” he looks at the silent men before he raises his gun again and shoots another man, “TELL ME!”

“We were watching him like you told us, sir. Then we looked down the hallway because we heard the two man with the milk for your son coming, and when we looked back he was gone” the man next to the two corps goes. Four more bangs echos through the hallway, four more bodies falling to the floor.

Veins popping out off his neck,”So you are telling me that a child, MY child, who can barly crawl, somehow crawled off his play mat and past twelve of my men?!” Lloyd speaks, stepping closer“Not only don’t any of you know where he is, but he also hasn’t eaten anything?! He gets his second milk at exactly 3pm, now we have 3:47pm. Does that mean that my son is missing since almost AN HOUR?!”

“Well yeah, we-“, Lloyd shoots the man right between his eyes.

He walks over to the corpse and starts kicking “MOTHERFUCKING MORONS” he screams, while not stopping. Ones he’s finished he looks at the other men“Get every fucking man in this building to search for my son, check every security camera and let someone guard the windows and doors. You five come with me.” Lloyd commands“If someone took my son, I will make sure that every single person in this building gets what they deserve.”he turns around and the men follow.

Lloyd knows what anger feels like. Every time someone looks at sunshine he gets angry and wishes to kill them, which he does. This is a different feeling though, he not only feels angry at them but also at himself. He left his son alone with those idiots and now he doesn’t know where or how his son is.

They walk from room to room, checking every corner until they make sure that he’s not in there before locking it. A big house is amazing and an absolute must have for him, but now he’s really regretting having one.

Lloyd is desperately looking everywhere, no one will stop him until he finds LJ. Truth is, Lloyd will indeed kill everyone, but only if he doesn’t get killed before that. He cant tell sunshine that these morons lost their son. She would kill him. She would kill him for hiring the people who lost him. He’s not ready to plan his funeral yet.

A man comes to Lloyd “We checked the cameras outside, no one got in or out. One camera is defect though”

Lloyd turns pale “Search outside, everywhere, search the whole fucking maze, the woods and the road, do not get back before you find him. And bring the man who’s responsible for the cameras to the basement!”

“The chances that he is outside are about 1%. All windows are closed and if someone would’ve opened one an alarm would’ve gone off.” the man speaks.

“Do I look like I give a single FUCK! 1% is not zero, so go and search outside!”. Of course Lloyd knows that the chances are slim that LJ is outside or that someone took him, but he knows that his list of people that don’t like him is long and on top of that list is Court and the bitch Suzanne. She doesn’t have the skills to get inside, but Court does. If Court took his son, oh boy, a war is going to break out.

Lloyd only realizes now that a tear left his eye. Its never a good sign when the sociopath cries. He wipes it away before continuing checking every room, while half of his men are now searching outside. He’s nowhere though.

They searched all rooms on all floors, but he’s not there.

“Where is he?!” Lloyd screams at the men that just came back up stairs.

“We couldn’t find him inside or outside, si-“ another two shots, another two bodies.

He doesn’t even realize how much blood is on him or how many bodies are now laying on each floor. Finding LJ is the only thing he cares about. “Check every room, and corner outside again!”. The men now run around way faster from room to room, corner to corner, scared what will happen if they don’t find Lloyds son.

While all of them are running around Lloyd is now slowly walking to LJs nursery. He feels his chest tightening with every second, no air goes down his throat and his eyes begin to water. He unlocks the door and walks over to the crib, LJs blanket still laying inside it. Lloyd looks at it for a second before breaking down, tears streaming down his face. To people Lloyd always seems like the big sociopath who doesn’t have a heart, but he does, a big one. There’s no other man who loves his family more than him, who loves his wife more, who loves his baby more. He knows he’s not the world greatest dad and will probably never be, but he loves his son.

“Where are you, junior? Fuck, where are you!” he screams, knowing there will be no answer. Lloyd swore on his life to protect him and he failed. LJ could be kidnapped or somewhere in this building starving and his father is here, crying on the floor.

He needs to find him, he can cry later, but not now. He will be strong for his son.

Lloyd stands back up and walks out off the room, speed walking down the hallway. In hurry he misses the flowers, standing in a 4 feet vase on the floor, which were meant to be for sunshine but are most likely to be for his funeral now. The vase falls over and lands directly on his foot “YOU FUCKING DRY ASS PLANT!”

Trying to calm down he hears a noise coming from the master bedroom. The door is locked so he unlocks it and grabs his gun. The men already searched and then locked the door, which means no one should be in it. Maybe a intruder is in there, maybe the man who took his son is in there. Lloyd doesn’t wait a second longer and slams the door open and goes in it “KNOCK KNOCK ASSHOLE”

Lloyd looks at the room, but sees no one. He checks the curtains, fireplace and the walk-in closet, but still sees no one or the source of the sound, not even on the balcony. If sunshine knew how many people he pushed off this balcony because they came in while she was sleeping and he didn’t want them to wake his sunshine up. Gun still raised, he walks over to the bathroom door, the only place he hasn’t checked yet. The men locked the door and at this point he doesn’t have the patience to unlock it, so he kicks it open”

“Where are you, you fucking piece of sh-“ Lloyd stops when he sees his son looking right at him with big glossy eyes and a shocked expression, while laying on his tummy, Mr. Mustaches ear in his right hand. LJs lower lip begins to quiver and tears fill his eyes.

“Oh, junior” Lloyd rushes over to him just as he begins to cry, he holds him close to his chest, scared that he will otherwise disappear. Unknown to him, his own eyes begin to water. LJ doesn’t stop crying, even as Lloyd begins swaying back and forth. “Its ok, everything is ok. Don’t cry, don’t cry” he doesn’t know if he’s trying to calm LJ down or himself. It doesn’t work though. Tears start to leak out off Lloyds eyes. He sinks to the floor with LJ, who is holding on his fathers shirt, staining it with his tears, “I’m sorry that dada scared you”.

The teddy is laying on the floor next to them, so Lloyd pick him up and shows him LJ, “Look, your second favorite mustache wearing man” giving him a sad smile. LJ turns his head slightly, looking at the bear before reaching for it. His cries now turning to small whines.

Lloyd brings the bear closer to LJ, so he can touch him. Both of them stopped crying at this point.

How could does idiots miss LJ in the bathroom, either they are blind or they didn’t even search this room. It doesn’t matter, they are going to die.

“How did you even get in here and why?”, Lloyd ask him, rubbing his small back. The baby looks at him, clearly not understanding what his dad is saying, instead he pulls the bear closer. Suddenly Lloyd understands why.

Last night LJ slept with Sunshines and him in their bed. In the morning Sunshine fed and changed LJs diaper and then put him down on the play mat in his nursery. Before sunshine left she told him to grab Mr. Mustache and give him to LJ because he was still in their room, otherwise LJ would get whiney.

He forgot about it.

“Dada is sorry that he forgot your bear” Lloyd kisses his forehead “can you forgive him?”. LJ looks up at his dad and gives him a goofy smile, while blabbering something. Lloyd smiles, standing up with his son and Mr. Mustache in his arms, “I take that as a yes. Now dada is going to give you a bottle milk and then he’s going to have a not so nice talk with his colleagues”

He walks out the bathroom with a smile, happy that sunshine wont kill him. Lloyd looks down at his son and his smile quickly vanishes. Under all the adrenaline he didn’t realize that his clothes and face had blood all over him. He hold LJ against it and now his son is locking like a mini version of him. “Fuck”.

He grabs his sons hand, as LJ tries to put his fist in his mouth and rushes back to the bathroom. Laying him and the bear in the tub, he searches for a towel, “where are the goddam towels!”. He stops searching when he hears a cry, turning back he sees LJ looking like he’s going to explode, “Shit” he’s hungry.

Lloyd dives forward when he sees him trying to put his fist back in his mouth, holding it gently, so he cant do it.

Two man suddenly walk in, “We searched all rooms again and still cant find him. Also yo-“ they stop when they see their bosses son.

“NO SHIT. HES IN THE ROOM YOU FUCKING LOCKED!”

LJ starts screaming

“No junior, everything is ok” Lloyd says, still holding his hand. He turns to the men “bring me a bottle”

“We just wanted to inform you that-“

“I said bring me a FUCKING BOTTLE” Lloyd screams, not being able to be louder than his sons screaming. One man runs away to bring the bottle, while the other stays on his spot and gathers the courage to speak.

“Sir”

“WHAT”

“Mrs. Hansens driver just passed the gate” he says. Lloyd turns pale for a second, and looks around. Blood in the bathroom, on him, on the baby, on the bear, his men running around the whole property, god knows how many bodies on each floor and a screaming hungry baby.

“Oh, shit”, looks like he really has to plan his funeral.

[cosmogyros]

Here's one of my most recent original songs, with a backing track created by my talented collaborator and friend Monty. Here's what I posted about the song when I wrote it a few weeks ago:

I wrote a new song today, called "All This Can Be Yours". Today is May 4, which is the anniversary of two very important events: the Haymarket riot took place on May 4, 1886, and the Kent State shootings took place on May 4, 1970. If you don't know much about these events, I encourage you to read up on them. One thing I've learned in the past few years is how vital it is for us all to understand our revolutionary history. So much of the quality of life that we take for granted today wasn't just handed to us – our forebears fought, and sometimes died, for it. This is how change is made. It's hard, and scary, and even bloody. And it's worth it. "All This Can Be Yours" was written with these two historical events – and many more – in mind. And it's dedicated to all the brave college students across the US and around the globe who are protesting the genocide of Palestinians right now, in May 2024.

Lyrics below the read-more.

All This Can Be Yours

She said, I’m breaking out of here It’s long past time to join the Wobblies now Come with me, darling More of them are with us than against us anyhow Prefigurative politics was never just a dream It’s the only way that we ever got anywhere

And all this, all this can be yours Reach out and take it All this, all this can be yours The world is what we make it Take a chance Make a change Tomorrow waits for you

He showed up with his union dues Standing nervous, tongue-tied in the door He never had a lot to lose But they’d never had so much to win before And every small step forward is a leap for humankind He asked “Where do I begin?” with open hands

[chorus]

I’ve never built a home But I can stack one brick atop another I know you feel alone Never had a sister or a brother But everywhere you go, you know There’s someone you can learn to understand Find your family ties in every land

[chorus]

[female-buckets]

LJ IS BACKKKKKK

I have roster questions though...

Cedes and LJ are on the same roster. Can you start both? Or do you have to have one coming off the bench?

We don't really know where LJ's fitness is at, but imports have the expectation of starting, it's entirely the point of an import.

But it's not like LJ is a big stuck in the paint, she can shoot the three so you can still spread the floor.

I'd be worried about defence, but the Flyers don't play that much d anyways?

Thoughts?

LJ is refusing to retire until her nemesis retires 😂

Do you think LJ will be on the Olympic team? She said she's retired from the Opals, but she has been known to un-retire! DT and LJ both suiting up for the Paris Olympics would be absolutely insane.

Anyway! Back to the topic at hand lol. I'm not sure how it's going to work with Mercedes and LJ. But Mercedes NEEDS a vet like LJ. She needs someone to show her how to be tough and dominant and confident. Mercedes has size and potential. But I think she's unsure what type of player she wants to be. So having this opportunity to work with LJ is the perfect thing for her. Storm sisterhood 💚💛

[kayleyelaine]

Bella’s mysterious life

PART 1: slow goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, Stephanie Meyer and LJ Smith own these characters.

(Bella Pov) I always felt like I never belonged with Edward. He was always trying to push marriage on me when I knew it was something I never wanted. After seeing how much pain it had caused my father I never felt like I would be a woman that would take another man's name. Maybe that's when I realized he wasn't the man for me.

After Edward proposed I knew he would keep pressuring me to say yes. I told him I wasn't ready which I knew was a lie. I never wanted marriage. I already feel stuck because of his stupid controlling family. I can't even act like myself anymore, Alice thinks she can control what I wear and Edward thinks he can control who talks to me. After leaving Edward's house today Charlie had cooked fish on the grill. MMMM my favorite.

I locked my window that night knowing how Edward would come and watch me sleep. How weird is that? Like I know for a fact any girl my age would feel so uncomfortable being watched all night long. He's going to chastise me in the morning. I can feel it in my spine.

My alarm clock is so annoying and I HATE the rain. It ruins all my plans. At least the sun is shining today. My closet sucks. Alice got rid of all my cute clothes or so she thought. Today I'm wearing my tropical print romper and my ankle strap chunky heels from Target. Along with my quilted chain shoulder bag. I think today is the day I drive my Mazda and leave Edward in the dust. When Alice and Edward pulled up to school they were pissed knowing that I had left them there. They never knew about my car, only the truck. Honestly, they never asked me. I loved the looks on their faces. After a while, I got out of my car because I could see them looking for my truck. Edward came up to me asking where I got the money for a car. Not knowing when I lived with my mom I had a few modeling shoots in Virginia. That's where I met Klaus god I miss him and his luscious lips so much. So I whipped out my phone and texted him.

I miss you so much wish you were here and not these weird half-breed vamps. Can't wait to see you! Miss your kisses!! XOXO- your lover <3

I see Angela walking not too far ahead so I sprint next to her to get rid of Edward.

"Hey ang. How is your morning going so far? " I said, trying to get her attention so she could tell that I didn't want to be near Eddie.

"Pretty crappy. Did you drive your car today? You know I love the speaker system in that thing! " Angela said, trying to get me off the topic of her day

" You know I did! Wanna go to the mall later? "

"But Belllllaaa I was gonna ask you to hang out after school. " Alice whined like the child she is, ugh I hate her.

(Edward POV) Bella walked away with Angela and left Alice and me in her wake. I was stuck wondering who this person was.

The only reason I was with the twit was for my own personal heroin, the smell of her blood leaves me in utter want. No one in my family knows the real reason for me refusing to turn the spoiled little brat that is called my "mate". The only thing she is to me is my little blood bag. When she falls asleep I make little pricks in places upon her skin that she will never know about and I lap up the blood that spills out. No one would ever know. Not even Alice as I never decide to do it. Not like Alice would even care Bella is her little pet. Now that the little twit has made plans to go to the mall, I get to go And have fun with my little Mary. Carlise may have changed me but he doesn't know of my undying loyalty to my mate. He has no clue that Alice and I are mates and that Jasper is Maria's mate. He will never know and I will do my hardest to destroy him if he tries to take away my Heroin.

(Alice POV) When the little Bitch walks away with God's saint Angela I'm livid. How can she just walk away when I'm talking to her? All I want is to make her look like a proper woman, not a trampy hoe. The way she throws herself at Edward is ridiculous. Little does anyone know, He's in love with me not her. I have him and Jasper wrapped around my little finger. Jasper has never been my mate. Jasper and I concocted this plan when I met him after he got into a fight with his real mate Maria. He wanted to let the captain and his mate Charlotte go so they could live their life but she didn't want to lose two good soldiers. So he decided to punish her by leaving for a while. He goes to see her every once in a while.

Jaspers has been my best friend for so many years, he knows that Edward and I are mates and that Edward just wanted to play with a human for a while. Suddenly I'm hit with a vision of Edward and I running through the woods being chased by someone who is completely enraged. Then I see Edward's whole body lit on fire and the last thing I see is a torch coming towards me.

[firedragon1321]

HEY WHO WANTS SOME FUNNY BADFIC LINES?

I torture myself with badfic sometimes. There used to be a LiveJournal for posting this kinda stuff, but who uses LJ anymore? Here is a fine collection of horrible badfic lines and author’s notes, for your viewing pleasure.

Most of these are from Digimon fic. Some of these are NSFW, or from a NSFW source.

THE FIC LINES (SFW)

“Then Myotismon then said," I think that’s enough damage for one day, ciao!..."

Myotismon, Digimon

This one’s from a Digimon Mary Sue fic. Myotismon- a villain who wants to kill the child protagonists- kills only the Sue. The canon characters mourn the Sue. He has them at his mercy. But then he does...this. This is one of my personal favorites, but I never noticed there’s two “thens” in that sentence until tonight.

“You like what you see, Hugh? Come get it, come get your birthday gift. That’s right; you’re getting an ass as your birthday present. Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass?”

Nate, Pokemon

I need to stop reading bad/OOC fic on purpose. But lines like this make it all worth the suffering. The succulent line “Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass” made me break out laughing- hard. The rest of the fic was OOC crap, BTW.

“What the HELL ARE You Doing You Motherfukers! It was. Dumbledore!”

Dumbledore, Harry Potter My Immortal

This is one of the classics of badfic. I read it in one night. A skunk sprayed outside, providing an odor to enhance my reading experience. I went a little crazy and remember nothing but the famous introduction and this line. A pure gem.

"Stop calling Lexaeus my mom, it just creepy. I mean he's like almost 7 foot and hell of buff!"

Axel, Kingdom Hearts

I vaguely remember this fic was some kind of Soriku/AkuRoku Double Power Hour where Sora and Roxas were catboys or something. This line- like many of the other zingers- comes in out of fucking nowhere. Yes, Axel- Lexaeus is “hell of buff”. I also know the image is technically of Lea, but KH3 graphics are pretty.

“He smiled, before pulling off his plaid shirt. Don't worry, he had a white t-shirt underneath.”

Prose, Digimon

I used to do a lot of MSTs of Digimon fanfics. The Myotismon quote was from one of my victims. So is this one, which was a Stufic. The Stu’s target was Mimi. They were hanging out or going to bed or- God knows what. The author pulled the story to a full fucking stop to tell the reader about this white t-shirt. Just in case they thought things were getting too racy. The fic was rated K on fanfiction dot net.

“Mimi's eyes widened as she watched the older man grab Izzy's neck viciously as the man grabbed a rifle from his pocket and held it threateningly against the younger boy's head.”

Prose, Digimon

Another old MST victim. Yes, you read right. A thug pulled a full-size rifle out of his pocket. I had to stop my MST for two solid minutes because- no? I think the author meant a small handgun, not a fucking rifle. Fun fact- the minimum length of the barrel for a rifle is sixteen inches. This is equal to stuffing a standard ruler and then some in your pocket!

““DORA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Screams Annie way too overdramatically.”

Prose, Digimon

This was another Suefic. Not sure if I actually MSTed this one. Anyone who knows Digimon knows that- right before crossing into the Digital World- your regular Joe experiences some freaky electronic behavior. A television playing Dora the Explorer- to the delight of some teenagers- zapped out, leading to this little gem.

"I had them not shoot you for the soul purpose to annoy you."

Leomon, Digimon

This fic was an MST fic and I fucking hated it. It was made by non-Digimon fans if I remember correctly, who made everyone OOC and stupid. And used “knave” as an insult a lot. Leomon was an antagonist- not sure if he was under Devimon’s control- and he summoned cupids to make the DigiDestined fall in love with random bullshit. TK was spared this gruesome fate. When he questions why, Leomon drops this zinger.

“He then kicked Gatomon a few feet (Because I hate Gatomon and so does Koushiro.) “

Prose, Digimon

Same fic as above. I forgot to mention the Author’s Notes liked to butt in at times, too.

"Sorry Miss Luna, but there are no breaks form learning your education,"

Teacher, Digimon

MST Suefic victim. This one is just a grammar mess. It looks like something Google Translate might write if it was allowed to make a fanfic. No- let’s not wish that into reality.

“He decided to act like a complete wigga and moonwalked home at 45 miles an hour.”

Prose, Beyblade

This was the most terrible Beyblade crackfic I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a slur in there? The moonwalking bit was what got to me, in addition to the very specific speed. The fic gets even worse. That gem of a line is in the NSFW section.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!"

"Samus... there's no sal-"

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT A MEME IS!?"

Link and Samus, Smash Brothers

I honestly remember nothing about this fic except this line.

THE BEST POKEMON BATTLE EVER

(Note- I didn’t bold anything to avoid eye strain. The battle below is presented uncut in its entirety, to deliver maximum pain. Enjoy!)

+++++++++++++++++

"Let's get started, shall we?"

"Okay," Rosa said, moving away from Elesa to get their battle started. "Go, Emboar!" Rosa said, releasing an Emboar holding a Quick Claw.

"Go, Zapdos!" Elesa said, releasing a shiny Zapdos. "Thunderbolt, Zapdos!"

"Flare Blitz!"

Doing as told, the Emboar ignited himself, then he rushed towards Zapdos to tackle it. The Fire-type move instantly knocked Zapdos, but it costed a bit of Emboar's health.

"Impressive, I say. Go, Raikou!" Elesa said, and she released Raikou. "Thunderbolt!"

"Flare Blitz, again!"

The Emboar's Quick Claw didn't activate this time as Raikou attacked first with Thunderbolt, easily blacking Emboar out. "Go, Haxorus!" Rosa said, releasing Haxorus. "Outrage!"

"Hidden Power (Ice), Raikou!"

The Raikou's Hidden Power wasn't enough to knock Haxorus out as Haxorus retaliated with Outrage, knocking Raikou out as Elesa stomped her foot.

"Damn," Elesa cursed.

"Almost out of Pokemon?" Rosa asked.

"Yep, let's see what happens next!" Elesa replied.

After releasing her last Pokemon, a Magnezone holding a Life Orb, Elesa yelled, "Hidden Power (Ice)!"

Rosa didn't order her Haxorus to use a move since Outrage forces Haxorus to use it again. After getting hit, the Magnezone used Hidden Power to knock Haxorus out.

"I'm almost out too," Rosa said.

"Then let's finish this," Elesa said.

"Okay. Go, Sigilyph!" Rosa said, and she entered a shiny Sigilyph in battle. "Use Heat Wave, Sigilyph!"

"Avoid Heat Wave, then use Thunderbolt!"

Failing to avoid the Sigilyph's Heat Wave, the Magnezone blacked out and Rosa jumped up and down in joy, celebrating over a win against a Gym Leader.

THE FIC LINES (NSFW)

"She just walked away licking off your semen like it was gameshow slime."

Sora, Digimon

MST victim again. “She” is Kari and “your” is Tai. Yep- it was one of those fics. The fic was later revealed to be a deconstruction of ero-fics, exonerating it of all crimes. But this line remains, like a bad taste in your mouth.

"With my Viagra pills of the gods, anything is possible."

Palutena, Kid Icarus

This was...special. The fic was set up to be a Pit/Palutena fic, then abruptly bait-and-switched into Pit/TWINBELLOWS. This line explains why Twinbellows is willing to participate in a union straight from the Underworld.

“Jizztacular!“

Pit, Kid Icarus

Same fic as above. You can probably imagine when this line comes into play.

"Whut are you fuck'un norms looking at!" roared Granpa, his 134 inch knob swaying out in front like a barge pole. "GAY PRIDE WORLD WIDE!"

Ryu Granger, Beyblade

This is the same fic as the moonwalk line and hoo boy. I told you it got worse. How to make it even worse? Every single major male character is lined up behind him and- well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

THE AUTHOR’S NOTES

“this is a sentence that makes no sense for you enjoyment.“

AN, Kingdom Hearts

This is from a response to a PM from an anti, who wasn’t happy about the author sexualizing the underage characters. The author broke down the PM- itself poorly written- in a nasty, mocking way, making an ass out of the anti. This was part of that response, and perhaps the only redeeming quality of the exchange.

“My grandmother was a poet (she taught me to read, too!) and she watches over me from the Good Place The Good People Go. She watched me write all 12+ words of this. Do you think YOU can shame me, internet puritans? Do you really? No one can shame me or stop me. The only thing that can stop me is running out of tea.”

AN, Beyblade

This is similar to the AN above. It’s more of a general response to antis than a direct attack on one person. This line made me lose my mind laughing. Remember- it’s okay to write pedofics, as long as Grandma approves of them first! Props for having better spelling/grammar than the Kingdom Hearts AN...

THE END

You survived! Yay! This is my grand gallery of badfic lines and horrible author’s notes. I am honored to share it with all of you!

[greywindys]

Could you send the link to where Murdoc says he hates Noodle ships? I would love to see it as it makes me happy to see that they hate Noodle being shipped with them, she should be left out of shipping.

Hello! Sorry for the delay. I've gotten a few asks about this, and I kept putting it off because of my whole "canon doesn't mean much, or arguably anything" epiphany. It didn't feel like making the argument had a point since anything can get retconned at a moment's notice. However, I'm still not a fan of Noodle ships, and I think even with shaky canon, we can always makes argument with evidence that supports our claims.

Anyhow, Murdoc never states word for word that he dislikes Noodle ships, but they have kept his perspective - that Noodle is like a daughter to him - consistent since P1. So, while other people may disagree, I feel comfortable saying that he doesn't see her as anything else, has never thought of her as anything else, and would likely be weirded out if someone suggested it was anything else.

I can't find every instance where he calls Noodle his daughter rn (if you want more examples, I'll need to take some more time to look), but this is the one that stuck out to me, from Murdoc's P5 letter to El Mierda.

Additionally, Murdoc had been protective of Noodle, esp regarding inappropriate questions. This is taken from an interview during P2, from the June/July 2005 issue of Jane magazine:

You can read the entire interview here, in the old LJ community. It's probably on Lobotomy Pop somewhere too, but I don't have the link on me.

Separate from all of that, the writers have consistently shot down the idea of any Noodle ships. Whenever Noodle has been asked about shipping, she shoots it down (you can see in this screenshot from the a 2018 Youtube Q&A). People will have their hcs regardless, but overall, Noodles ships are generally a hard NO for most of the fandom (myself included), the fictional themselves, and the IRL Gorillaz team.

[genevievemd]

An Ocean Away

Book: Open Heart: Second Year (Post 2.5) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1043 Rating: T Category: angst Trope(s): and they were at a gala/fundraiser, and there’s some good ol’ pining

Summary: Post Book 2, Chapter 5 - After helping Gwenyth Monroe, she invites the team to attend the “Influencer’s Ball”, where Ethan and Gen wrestle with their feelings for each other. 

Warnings: none

A/N: 100% inspired by LJ in that dress and also maybe from the last song from the unofficial Bridgerton musical... Literally just these idiots being idiots. 

The ballroom is grand, like something out of a fairy tale. The enormous chandelier shining like a cluster of stars in the middle of the ceiling. Genevieve and the rest of the diagnostics team had been invited to the Influencer’s Ball by Gwenyth Monroe, as a thank you for saving her life. 

None of them wanted to go, but when the board got wind of the invitation - the potential for generating patients and profit - the team had been forced. 

And it only made Ethan angrier. He barely gave her a second glance when she walked in. Offering only a cold expression before turning back to his drink. It’s the complete opposite of the man from a few nights ago. 

The one she helped create a pictagram account for. The one that looked at her with barely concealed longing. 

She’ll never understand how he can turn his feelings off so easily, forget everything that’s happened between them. Especially when they’ve shared so many moments together since he declared they needed a reset. He’s giving her whiplash with their back and forth, hot and cold. 

Which is exactly why Gen let her sister talk her into wearing this champagne colored, figure hugging dress. Knowing the open back would render the man speechless. Perhaps make him regret keeping her at arms length. Or at the very least, give Genevieve a more concrete idea on where Ethan truly stands. 

If she’s merely someone he lusts after, or - like her - he has real feelings for her. That beneath the hostile exterior and sky high walls, he wants something more. 

He’s on the other side of the room now, half empty glass of scotch clutched tightly in one hand. Wearing the same tux he wore in Miami all those months ago. 

She’s gone back to that night more times than she’d care to admit. Along with the two nights when they finally gave in to the passion between them. Remembering the way he whispered her name with such reverence, as if she was his crown jewel. The way his hands felt on her skin, his touch so gentle it made her forget every invisible scar that marked her. 

Maybe she was reading too much into their tiny moments since he came back. Maybe it was her own fault for thinking there was still something there.

Gen catches his eye when he looks up, suddenly losing all the air from her lungs. A heat washing over her the moment his eyes traveled down her small frame. Watching him take shallow and pained breaths. Like it’s killing him to be so far away from her. 

She watches him shoot back the rest of his drink, his eyes still on her. Like two flames, so hot that the fire has turned blue. Although, the rest of his expression is unreadable, emotionless. 

Gen finally breaks their silent conversation, turning away from Ethan’s heated gaze. It’s too hard to be in the same room, to have him look at her that way and still have no idea how he truly feels. Choosing to instead focus on the true reason they’re here, rub elbows and generate business. 

Not reenact a regency era romance with her boss. 

The entire evening is nothing but a nightmare, full of narcissists and imposters, made even worse by the very thing Ethan desires most. 

He can’t stop looking at her. Cursing the primitive part of his brain that makes his eyes linger on her exposed back for longer than he should. Desperately trying to quell the ache in his fingers, the need to run his hand down her spine. Feel her skin against his once more. Even for just a moment. 

He was a fool to ever think he could go back to the beginning, forget everything that’s happened between them. The reset, the most logical solution to their problem, was no solution at all. 

Hard as he tries, Ethan can’t let her go. She’s still in his every thought, every dream, every moment of peace is clouded by her face. 

His days still get brighter when she walks into the room, or when she smiles, or laughs. His heart still skips a beat when he watches her with her patients, so thoughtful and caring. 

Genevieve is unlike anyone he’s ever met before, and he doubts he’ll ever meet anyone like her again. 

She’s gracious, full of light, beautiful and compelling. 

Infuriating. 

They wouldn’t be at this godforsaken ball if not for her defying his wishes. If she hadn’t contacted Gwenyth, forced the team into a place he never wanted it to go. 

And yet, he knows, deep down, that she was right. Which makes Ethan all the more angry. 

His gaze drifts back to her once more; standing on the opposite side of the room, smiling as if there’s nothing wrong. 

Like Ethan isn’t slowly being throttled by his need for her. 

A need that goes far beyond something physical. Because he knows, should he give in, one night wouldn’t be enough. Not one night, one hour, one minute. 

He’d want every morning with her beside him, hear every one of her laughs, be there for every smile, every achievement she’s bound to gain. 

And that isn’t who he’s supposed to be. He should be consumed by science and medicine, logic and reason. Not a 5’3” blonde in a glittering dress. 

Ethan takes a deep breath, with every intention of tearing his eyes away from her. Stop gawking like some lovesick fool. 

But then she turns, heart stopping smile still on her perfect face, and he’s once again rendered speechless, immobile. Completely at her mercy. 

Their eyes meet once again, the rest of the room fading away as he gets lost in her green eyes. 

He’ll never get over her, and perhaps it’s time he accepted his fate. 

Without breaking her gaze, Ethan finishes the rest of his drink. Practically slamming it onto the table. He only manages a few steps in her direction, before Genevieve looks away. Moving through the room. 

He attempts to follow her, ready to pull her into a secluded room and put an end to their separation. Until he watches her reach the main entrance, wipe a tear off her cheek and disappear completely.

A/N: I love making Pre-Softball Kiss Ethan suffer lol. And now we know why he was so mad the next day when he shows up at her door, because he was gonna kiss her but she left in tears. lol

Thank you guys for being so patient with the au series, I’m almost done with the chapter I think (I hope). I’m leaving for florida (WDW) on sunday, but the plan is the post the chapter when I get back (11/12) and then post TYB March that Sunday. 

But seriously thank you for all the support and patience, it means the world. 

(tagging separately.) 

[eyeless-cunt]

taking advantage of the fact that the request are open haha, how would the creepypastas react if they killed their s/o accidentally? thnks love, much love 4 u

you woke up and and chose enternal suffering

TW: Death of the reader, blood, gore, angst, depressive thoughts, hintings of panic attacks, mentions of suicide,....necrophilia....?, mentions of pills, paranoia, delusions :), ect.

Jeffery:

I'm Honestly not even sure how he could have accidentally killed you? He never takes you with him when he goes out to...do his things. He certainly never raised a knife towards you and he would never kill you out of anger. So how did this even happen?

He blacked out. He was just sitting with you, laughing about nothing important. That's all he can remember. So where are you? And whose blood is he covered in right now? It's brown and crumbly, signiling that it's been a good few hours since he came into contact with it. Where are you? He wants to see you, ask what happened. He never even noticed he was holding a knife washed in blood until he stood up, the object falling from his loose hand. Did he kill someone? When? Where? Where's the body? Where are you? Is this a dream? Where are you? He turns in circles, looking for a body. Where are you? He smells that familair scent in the air--that smell that arises from the corpses he mutilates. Where are you? He peeks behind a close by tree, expecting to see a random stranger of whom may have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Where are you?

THERE YOU ARE

Wobbiling legs, vacant eyes, a shaky hand outstretched towards an all too familar body. Why are you here? What's wrong with you? Shaky breaths, his heart that seems to stop for a whole few seconds--and suddenly—all too suddenly, the realization of what he's done hits him so hard he loses the feeling in his legs, falling beside your weeping corpse as you stare him in the eyes, filling him with a sense of glorified dread. The emotions that his brain can't seem to comprehend are flooding in all at once and far too fast, crippiling him with something that escaped him the night he killed his family. How did this happen? Why? What? Confusion and horror seeps into his bones and shoots him down, peircing his lungs in a way that leaves him gasping for air that he just can't seem to hold onto.

Jane:

She was just too obsessed. She went too far without looking around at her surroundings. Her hunt for Jeffery pushed her too hard. Before she knew it, she was standing over a body that she shouldn’t have been. As soon as she did it, her spiked anger flushed out of her system, a cold bucket of realization and horror washing over her. Immediately, apologies spew out of her mouth from behind her mask. She hurt her s/o out of pure anger of which she didn’t try hard enough to control. She’s so sure that you’ve just been knocked unconscious—she’s positive that your bleeding head wound isn’t fatal. No, you’ll be fine. Huh? Where’s your pulse? What?

Her nerves flare up, horror spiking back up again; as if it never went down in the first place. She’s not a delusional idiot. She doesn’t try to shake you awake. She won’t call out for you, expecting a response. Jane doesn’t pray to a dead god in the hope that you’ll awaken and smile at her, saying that you forgive her. That you know it was an accident. That you still love her. No. What she does is bury your body. She reflects the blame onto someone else. Jeffery. You were arguing with her about her continuous hunt for him. You told her that you wanted her to stop—you wanted her to forget. Jeffery caused this. He was the subject of the argument. He’s taken yet another person from her.

BEN:

How did this happen to him? To you? He should have been more careful. He should have known this would happen sooner or later. He should have stayed away from you. Why was he like this? Of course this happened to him, to you; the person he loved most. It was fine. It was alright. You were having fun. He was so happy just to be able to spend time with you. Why would he let you put in the plug? So close to him? He naturally collects electricity. He knows that. So why would he let himself stand so close to you as you plugged in the controller.

A lapse in judgement. He forgot. He was too focused on the way you looked today. You had only woken up an hour ago, a messy appearance still making his dead heart race. That’s no excuse. How did this happen to him? He knows how. So why can’t he feel anything? Why can’t he move his limbs? Why does he feel worse now than he had when he was drowning at the bottom of a lake? Why is he feeling like that but also simultaneously feeling nothing at the same time? Did he break? Yeah. Staring down at this body, he starts to think he might have broke. He might have just died again. He wants to die again. Please let him die again.

EJ:

He was careful with you for years. He had to be. He could break a hand just by holding it so easily. He could lose to his cravings and sink his teeth into your neck at any time. He could rip your head off with no effort at all if he were to brush your hair with anything other than small, fleeting and gentle touches. So how did this happen? He’s always been so careful. His eating schedule always revolved around you. He would have to leave for a few days so he could eat away from you, so he usually held off on leaving for months if he could.

He knew he shouldn’t have. Spending more time with you at the cost of your own life wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t logical. If the hunger got too persistent he could go feral, accidentally killing you in the process. It wasn’t logical. He knew it wasn’t logical to stay with you longer if he was hungry. So why did he do it? How could he let this happen? The cold realization that he really did lose control hits him, the feeling in his limbs quickly leaving. Static. That’s all he could feel. Numb static. You’re everywhere. He wasn’t careful enough. He lost out to his feelings for the first time in hundreds of years. And you paid the price. It was his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault. HE DID THIS TO YOU.

He can’t function. The control he’s been holding over himself for a good thousand years breaks. He regresses back into what he was before he gained control. He no longer wants to have control if it leads to him falling in love with someone only to kill them later when he loses it again.

LJ:

He can’t even remember how this happened. The trauma blocking the horrible memories works fast. All he knows is that you’re leaking blood all over a table he doesn’t remember being here yesterday. All he knows is that you’re dead and he did this. He did this. No. No he didn’t. He didn’t. He wouldn’t. He would never hurt you. Who did this? He didn’t. Events take a morbid turn when his abandonment issues take a turn for the worse.

He won’t let the body go. Your body. He won’t let you leave him. So he holds you forever, just like he promised you he would when you first met all those years ago. He holds you through the decomposition process, he holds you until you’re only scattered bones. He holds you until your bones are dust and you’ve been gone longer than he can remember. He says to not worry. He likes holding you. He’ll hold you like this forever. Don’t worry. He’s sure you were so scared. Don’t worry. He’s got you. Don’t worry.

Masky:

He ran out of pills at the worst possible time. The paranoia hit him all at once, making him tape the windows and glue them shut, block the door, place a camera in all the doorways. He keeps seeing things. He keeps seeing the tall man in the darkest corner of his room. He needs more pills. But he can’t leave or the tall man will get him. He’s sure of it.

You just chose the wrong time to come over. You couldn’t have known. He didn’t even realize it was you. It was so dark. The pipe in his hand was slick with sweat. All too suddenly you’re on the floor bleeding out and his chest is heaving, air seemingly desperate to avoid him. The lights get turned on. Huh? Why are you—why? Why are you on the floor? Where is that blood coming from...? Like coffee to a drunk person, the sight of your bleeding out form sobers him—paranoia and hallucinatory visions seeping out of his veins. An almost unparalleled confusion makes him back away from you, making him trip over his steps. He can’t grasp what’s exactly happening at the moment. It takes him a few minutes to realize that his s/o is indeed bleeding out on his floor—and by then it’s far too late. He’s incompetent. His incompetency was the cause of your death. His cowardice. He was so weak it ended your life. That’s how he sees it.

Hoodie:

He can’t even believe he let you get into this situation with him. He was supposed to protect you. He was supposed to be strong enough—stable enough, to protect you. He was supposed to be able to keep his sanity so that he could keep you safe. He took his pills. He stayed away from the woods when he was with you. He stayed in public places with you, and never met at night. He always had a tape recording—so how did it go so wrong? He tried so hard. He tried so fucking hard to keep you safe. So fucking hard.

He thought it was okay to take a short walk with you. You weren’t even close to the woods, it was still a semi-public place. No one was out, and while that made him uneasy, he didn’t question it. He should have. He should have grabbed your hand and taken you to fucking McDonalds or some shit. Maybe a nice stroll through Walmart. Just not here. Not alone and outside. He put you in this situation. It was his fault. He didn’t mean it. He’s never been angrier in his whole existence. He doesn’t worry, he doesn’t fear. Hoodie isn’t scared of anything. But looking down at a corpse that once belonged to you, he finds that he does indeed fear one thing. The end of your life.

Toby:

As far as he’s concerned you never died. What? What do you mean you’re holding a funeral? For who? What? What do you mean? My significant other is sitting right beside me? Is this a joke? It’s not very funny. Can you please stop calling me delusional? Hallucinating? What the fuck are you on? Do you want me set you on fire?

No. You never died. In fact, he’s looking at your smiling face right now. You’re like the sun. So bright it hurts, but so pretty. You’re telling him about your day, although he finds it odd that you’re talking about work again even though you’ve been sitting in this field with him all day. You’re a bit inconsistent and confused these days, but that’s okay. We’ll get through it together. Just like we always have. You promised, remember? Together forever, even through death. <3

[mydominions]

Obsessed [L.JN]

pairing: secret amdirer!jeno x female!reader

words: 4.2k

genre: fluff ; high school!au

warnings: Ø

note: sorry for any mispelling errors, english is not my first language ; also sorry for the shitty ending

Chaerin has been receiving letters. Love letters.

Whenever she opened her locker in the morning, one fell to the ground. Her name was, always, prettily written, on the neatly folded paper. These letters were sincere. They made her heart flutter, everytime she read them.

Today was not an exception. When she opened her locker, Chaerin caught the letter before it could touch the ground. Today’s words were cuter then the ones from yesterday, and the day before yesterday. It was always love words. Words about how she was beautiful, how green suited her better than blue, how she should be careful when going home at night.

To her it was cute, but sometimes, she couldn’t help but think they might be some obsessed stalker, who were following her around.

In today’s letter, she noticed something unusual: a little note at the end.

“I’d like to meet you. If the feeling is shared, meet me at the park after class. LJ”

Usually, the letters weren’t signed. Chaerin had finally a hint of who could it be, after months. She put the letter in her bag and went to class.

° • •

Later, in history, her best friend, Na Jaemin, noticed something was off with Chaerin.

“Is everything alright ?” Jaemin asked concerned. Chaerin snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Jaemin.

“I’ve already told you about the letters, right ?” Jaemin nodded. Of course he knew, some days it was the only thing she would talk about.

“Well, the person writing them wants to meet me after class.”

Jaemin frowned, she was eager to know who it was, why does it look like a problem ? Jaemin expressed his surprise by tilting his head to the side.

“What if they’re a stalker ? What if they kidnap me ?”

Jaemin chucked, she wasn’t wrong. “Will you go if I tell you I’ll come, if you ever feel endangered ?”  

Chaerin face lit up, she fiercely nodded her head with a smile. She gave Jaemin the name of the park where she was going to meet them.

• ° •

Chaerin was now walking to the park. She thought about their initials all day. It could be anyone yet she was hoping it was someone she knew, like a classmate or one of Jaemin’s friends.

When she entered the park, it was empty. Chaerin sat at a bench and sent a message to Jaemin, telling him she was waiting.

Then out of nowhere she heard a voice, a manly voice.

“You are the prettiest in any color, but I personally like it better when you wear blue, rather than any other.”

Chaerin shoot her head up. It was one of her favorite sentence they ever wrote to her. She stood up and looked around her.

There he stood.

Looking at her, holding his bag on his shoulder, with the prettiest of all smiles: Lee Jeno.

Chaerin was taken aback. Lee Jeno is the one writing all these things ?

“J-Jeno ?” She finally uttered his name, while he approached her.

“Yes ?” He answered.

“Was it really you ?” Chaerin asked.

Jeno nodded, then he took another step, being as close as possible of her. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, and let his fingers trailed along her cheek. She blushed at his touch.

“Did you like them?” Jeno asked, staring right into her eyes.

“I loved them.” Chaerin answered, a smile on her lips. “But, why did you wrote them ?”

“To let you know how much I like you.” Jeno blurted out.

Chaerin blushed, again.

“I don’t know how you feel about this whole situation, but I wanted to ask you if you’d accept to try and learn to know about each other. And maybe we could… you know, we could go out.”

“Yes, I’d like to know more about you.”

After her words, Chaerin tiptoed to reach Jeno’s cheek and to give a little kiss. Jeno’s ears were burning as he watched her, in front of him.

“Huh… can I have your number ?” Chaerin asked, embarrassed by her sudden move.

Jeno gave her his phone and she did the same, exchanging numbers.

“Do you mind if I walk you home ? It’s getting late...”

• • °

In front of her door house, Chaerin bid goodbye to Jeno. As she walked in her alley, Jeno caught up with her and grabbed her hand. She turned towards him as Jeno looked at her. He grabbed her face, and brought it to him. Their lips were inches apart, Chaerin could feel his breath on her lips. Jeno then closed the gap and kissed her lips passionately.

He for sure wasn’t a stalker, but he indeed was obsessed. With her.

[smutty-ki113r]

🎥It’s been so long 🎥||

Comfort one-shot reader x creepy pastas (Slenderman, Jeff, Toby, E.J, BEN, Sally, Masky, Hoodie, Jane and L.J.) ((Beauty and the beast spoilers))

Inspired by: The living tombstone

The following morning you got ready to go to Hollywood studios. It was pretty chilly so you wore a jacket, bunched up in the car with everyone else. On the way there BEN wouldn’t stop talking about the new Star Wars exhibits.

Parking in one of the spots you all rode the tram to bring you to the entrance. All of the creeps stood in awe at the decorations at the entrance. Slender had to shoo them to disperse before they could hold up the other people coming in. Jeff looked irritated, probably cause he left his knife at the hotel as instructed.

A lot of people were dressed as people from the 50’s and such for Halloween weekend. Some of them gave strange looks at your groups’ costumes, but there was definitely compliments too. At least L.J was happy because there were less annoying children.

First up was the tower of terror, which you guys had a hard time finding since it was to the farther side of the park. BEN kept whining that he wanted to go to the Star Wars rides, but Jeff and you were pretty headstrong on wanting to go on this one.

The line was long too, about an hour in the hot Florida sun. Thankfully it was windy, and you sat on the ledges for the wait. Hoodie and Sally opted out since she was too short and he had a slight fear of heights. Slender could actually fit this time so he was pretty excited.

Jeff was pretty restless the whole time, fiddling with his hands in his hoodie pocket. BEN sat next to you on the ledge with his head on your shoulder, he seemed tired. Probably because he brought his Nintendo and played it all night even though you advised him not to.

Eventually you all made it inside where you looked at the “spooky” decorations. If slender had a face he would have one of disgust at the cobwebs. There was no comparison to his mansion, not creepy at all -in his opinion.

“Spooky does not mean unclean” he kept muttering to you guys telepathically.

Jeff rolled his eyes and Masky nodded his head, his arms crossed as you guys moved along. Then you were moved in to a separate room to watch some recording giving a backstory to the hotel. You were really focused on the video, there was even ominous music in the background.

There was this annoying whirr in your ear, you had to swat off the wind blowing on it. If the place really was haunted you were the victim. You felt a pair of hands grab your waist and you jolted, looking behind to find a cackling BEN.

“YOU SHIT” You slapped his arm- obviously- he deserved it.

He kept trying to fend you off until Masky gave both of you a really dangerous look. At least you didn’t need to be scared of ghosts anymore, Masky was the scariest thing there. Plus, BEN wasn’t exactly a terrifying ghost with those cute ears of his.

Finally it was time to get on the ride, slender looked really excited in his own way. He had his hands over his lap, the seatbelt buckled securely. You sat on the end with Jeff next to you and BEN next to him and then Toby after.

LJ was on the row behind you with Masky and EJ, you gave them a look as the cart moved. Then the doors opened and there was a stiff in the movement. Abruptly it shot upward, staying still for a second. You got to look at the beautiful view of the whole park before it dropped.

You felt your stomach drop as you clenched your hands on the handles, screaming along with LJ in the back. Glancing at him you saw the feathers on his shoulders fly up at the fall, Slender had his arms up, it was adorable. Toby was CRYING, holding onto the handles for dear life just like you.

After a few times of rising and going down Jeff started yelling at BEN, “STOP TAMPERING WITH THE CONTROLS”

“I’M NOT” he screached, holding onto his hat and trying to shake off a clingy Jeff. The outdoor daylight flashing onto his face, making his wide smiling face illuminate.

“STOP IT BEN” he kept repeating until there was one last drop. He gave a sigh of relief.

The people on the opposite rows looked mortified, scooting past you as you checked the pictures. They were absolutely hilarious, Jeff was gripping on for dear life to BEN, with Slender blocking the family in the back row and there was an open mouth shot of you.

It was a bit dizzying, so you held onto BEN until you regained your balance. He was a bit shocked too, a look of terror displayed at how Jeff yelled at him 50 feet in the air. Toby was pretty petrified too, his ticking increased and you had to rub him on the back to calm him down.

“I liked it” E.J said, shrugging at the picture and moving to the exit. Masky agreed with him, going to find his buddy Brian outside.

Toby needed something to take his mind off of the ride, so you took him and Sally to the Beauty and the Beast show. E.J tagged along too, which was pretty bizarre but hey maybe he liked theatre. The others went to the guitar ride while you waited for the next show to start.

The four of you sat in a back row to have the whole view of the stage. Needless to say that Toby and Sally really enjoyed themselves listening to the actors sing. When the conflict started Sally got anxious and you had to hold her in your lap.

Jack was quieter than usual watching the show, occasionally shushing Toby’s whimpers so he could concentrate. Gaston got on stage and started singing about killing the beast. You looked over at EJ who had his fists balled up in rage, he was really getting into it.

Giving a snarl when Gaston killed the beast but a huff of approval when he turned out to be okay. He didn’t say it but he kinned the beast, and he secretly wanted the happy ending. When the show ended you could have sworn there was tar rolling down his mask, you have him a little pat of affection.

He smiled at you under his blue mask and stood up, excusing himself for a moment. You shrugged as he went behind the stage, probably to get a snack. Leaving the gaston actor with one less kidney than when he started the show.

Then you pushed him out of there with the other two creeps, going across the road to find the rest of the group at the guitar ride. Slender was outside waiting with Hoodie and Jane, Sally ran up to give him a hug.

“They’re in the line for another round” he sighed, “go join them” he called to you and E.J.

You swerved through the other people, excusing yourself because you had to find your group. They told you all about how exciting it was, in the dark and super fast. Jeff was ranting, impatient once again. When you got inside BEN played with the marbles on the door, Masky was shooting him a disapproving look.

Jeff and BEN went in the cart in front of you, you went with L.J who wouldnt stop grinning. It would have been creepy if you weren’t used to it, but the lady making sure you were buckled seemed pretty terrified. Masky and E.J were behind you.

The car took off with a blast, music bursting in your ears as it climbed the tracks. You were overwhelmed with glowing decorations and unplanned curves, taking loopdy loops and hearing BEN and Jeff scream in delight.

You had to give heavy pants when it finished, catching your breath from all your screaming. You laughed along with L.J, whose hair was messed up. Reaching over to make it neater as the cart reached the exit point. The pictures made you cackle, especially since Masky and E.J on the same row had the same void expression.

After that you all headed to the toy story world. Admiring the green army soldiers and amazing childish scenery on the buildings. There were giant abc building blocks and gears making it seem like you had really shrunk.

Upon seeing the Toy Story mania BEN was teething. For some reason Jane too.

Finding out soon enough when she made you ride with her. Basically it was you and Jane in one cart with Jeff and BEN in the next.

She ignored the objective of the game and instead focused on shooting Jeff with the lasers. You kept telling her she had to shoot them at the targets but she shoved you off.

“I need to shoot this fucker” Jane kept muttering.

“You’ll never get me Jane!” Jeff yelled back.

Jeff aimed his cart towards you guys and started fighting back with the light filled lasers. You and BEN looked at each other like 😐, it was useless to break them up.

So you tried to win as much points as you cold but eventually BEN got more, he probably cheated. He did a little victory dance as you exited, you would definitely hold that against him later.

Slender wanted to go on the movie ride, which Jeff protested against but he wasn’t given much of a choice. Slender really liked the infographics and the interactives. Appreciating the realistic scenarios from the Indiana Jones movie and the Wild West.

Jeff did have a laughing fit when he saw the Alien from the Alien movie, saying it looked just as bald as slender. You were sure to give him a smack at that too. Overall though, you all enjoyed it, even Masky did too.

Next was the muppet show, so you all headed that way. While you all waited for the next viewing to start Toby was playing with the 3-D glasses. He kept walking with his arms out and pretending to be dizzy. Then he started “accidentally” bumping into Masky, poor Masky.

Thankfully for him, the doors opened and he sat as far as possible from Toby. You were sandwiched in between him and BEN. You guys lightly chattered until the lights dimmed and you had to put on your glasses.

L.J was having a laughing attack during the show, joined by Sally who actually really liked it. Then there was a part where the little muppet started spitting water, landing onto the audience. Now here was the part where a certain someone started screeching like a little girl, and it wasn’t Sally.

Benny was shivering in fear trying to cower on the floor, your ears rung as you tried to calm him down. You had to assure him like 20 times for him to come back, drying his seat so he could go back. Jeff was laughing but you quickly shut him up.

“It’s gonna be ok BEN, the show’s almost over” you said, giving him your jacket to warm up.

To compensate for BEN’s panic attack you convinced Slender to go to the Star Wars world next. At least BEN was pretty excited for that one, so you managed to diverge his attention to that instead.

His eyes widened and he started jumping up and down when you guys got there. Since there were so many rides you guys started just by walking around. It was pretty incredible, like straight out of the movies.

The architecture was amazing, with rusted technological buildings and the makeshift rocky terrain. The roofs of each buildings were domes, most of them were circular and extraterrestrial.

The stone was so realistic, some the walls were painted with a light aquamarine and some buildings with a yellow. The roofs were made up of a chipped bronze.

Even the ship which stood at the center was unbelievable, Slender made you and BEN take a picture together. You could see the grin of a lifetime on his face follow as you waited in line for the live action ride.

It was so fun! Even slender loved it, he knew he intimidated the storm troopers and if he could grin it would be a smug one. The design of the ride was amazing, the inside was like the real ships.

After you bought BEN a green milk and got a Blue one for yourself. It was sweet on your tongue, cold like a slushee too. You let BEN try yours after he gulped his own down and then he nagged you until you let him have the rest of it.

The next ride was the interactive one, this time you went with Masky and Hoodie. He had been quiet most of the time but this really fired him up. It was a three person ride, the mission was to get to a certain planet in the galaxy while escaping an evil ship.

Masky took all the control on this one, he was the pilot. He put Hoodie as the repair guy and you were the ammo man. He was solely concentrated on maneuvering that ship, swerving left and right like a pro. When the other ship started attacking he began commanding you too.

“SHOOT” he yelled back at you. He sure was bossy sometimes. “ARE YOU SHOOTING?”

“I AM” you said, pushing the button a million miles a minute to see the red laser shoot out on the screen.

Your wrist hurt from how hard you pushed it time and time again. “SHOOT THE GODDAMN SHIP” he said before you landed a good shot and got it out of the way, giving a sigh of relief that he would stop telling you what to do.

Hoodie was on repair duty so he just made sure you guys stayed a flight, silent and concentrated on his task.

Coming out of the Star Wars world you guys moved on to the Indiana Jones show, leaving Toby and Sally at the Frozen sing along with L.J as a chaperone. He was in literal hell, with so many little kids. He did like any reasonable adult and left, leaving the irresponsible person and Sally alone.

The Indiana Jones was one of the evening showings, probably the last one of the day before the main event. The whole thing was really thrilling, full of action and suspense. It was very exciting, and Jeff got a little too hyper.

He saw the weapons and started bouncing his legs on the floor. You eyed him suspiciously for a bit, he got so pumped he started raging. Luckily you covered his mouth before he could start yelling.

The smiling killer gave you a deadly look as he took his illegal knife out if his pocket. The very knife he promised he left at the hotel. You wondered how he snuck it in, probably his pants this time.

“You fucker” you deadpanned, moving out of his knife range. This was all while Indiana Jones was rolling over makeshift buildings with that dramatic music in the background. Thank goodness for the music, or else people would start calling security.

“BEN, E.J, HELP ME” you whisper yelled at them. They took Jeff by the arms and made him calm down, through your hand he gave muffled remarks.

His lidless eyes only widened as swords came into view, he simped over those blades like no other. Pulling and fighting for you to let him go, he wanted to cause rampage with his knife.

“I COULD BEAT THE SHIT” he paused to lick your palm which you made a squirmy face at but refused to let him go “OUT OF THOSE GUYS” you took his knife at this point.

You had to keep him restrained until the show ended, meeting up with the other half of your group then as you were walking to the restroom your group was encountered by a double line of storm troopers.

They stopped to make a round, approaching Masky and E.J, since they had masks. First was E.J, where they interrogated him with questions about if he with the first order cause or not.

“Are you part of the resistance” the trooper asked in a filtered voice.

“No” he said calmly.

“How can we know for sure?” the man in the white suit asked.

“I’m not one of the good guys, trust me” he said with a light chuckle. You laughed a little too and they moved to near Masky.

“Trooper get back in line” they said. You almost levitated, it was so funny you had to take a picture. Side by side his mask kind of resembled the storm troopers’.

“I’m not one of you” he said, boiling with anger as a few other troopers marched their way over to him.

“So you’re a Jedi in disguise then?” Another asked, face inches away from Masky.

“No” he said, the boy was about to burst with rage, too serious to take this as a game and gripping his fanny pack in anger to refrain from punching the guy.

The commander in a black mask passed by and spoke “Cleared”, the troopers dispersed, leaving a less distressed Masky behind.

Jeff was laughing at least, and L.J too, who appeared behind you mysteriously. Slender towered over him and asked where Sally was, the monochromed clown just gave a toothy smile and told him he dropped them off at the little mermaid show.

When that was over you guys got good seats at the fantastmic show, with the exception of BEN who feared water and was still having flashbacks from earlier. He gave rounds on the guitar ride with Jeff who opted to skip out with him, its not like he could sit still any longer too.

You hoped they didn’t kill anyone (they probably did), while the show went on. It was a beautiful display of lights in the water. There was a story told on the mountain and then the dancers came out. You smiled at the sight, it was another heartwarming day spent with the creeps. Holding Sally in your lap as she squealed at the pretty lights you were happy and at peace.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hey I love your writing it’s so amazing. If you watch My Hero Academia can you do a creepypasta MHA!AU with the pastas being UA students with quirks?

I live for MHA! I have read the manga/seen the anime. This isn’t my first MHA based ask~ I didn’t do all the creeps because some like EJ/LJ already have powers and would be hard to come up with new quirks for~

Jeff: Manic Episode; Allows Jeff to make those around him slip into an overly excitable insanity episode where they won't be able to think clearly or attack anymore, and instead will be reduced to laughter and delusions.

Jane: Mirror Mirror; This quirk allows her to enchant a mirror, and when one of her enemies looks into the mirror it allows her to force her own ideals onto them, and make them change their allegiances for short periods of time.

BEN: Electric Control; Allows him to pass into technology and control technology around him. He can absorb the data on a device near him even without coming into contact. Can also build up electric power and shoot it out in short bursts.

Toby: Familial Divination; Toby can summon dead spirits from his family to fight for him, like his sister Lyra. The spirits are stronger at night and are susceptible to damage.

Tim: Scripted Fate; When using a video camera if people are being recorded he can direct the people as if they're being recorded for a movie, and make things go as he wants. Only works while they're in frame and the camera isn't damaged.

Brian: Protective Instincts; When someone is in danger his concern for them allows him to grow temporarily stronger. The more nervous and concerned he is the stronger he grows.

Natalie: Stopwatch; This quirk allows her to use a stopwatch to halt time for limited periods for everyone except for herself. Quirk not effective on those stronger than her or with other time manipulation quirks.

Helen: Bloody Beauty; This quirk allows Helen to bring things to life, but only if they are drawn or painted in his own blood. The creatures can be defeated like normal beings and will eventually die over time if not killed.

Slender: Hive Mind; This quirk allows Slender to brainwash multiple other people and take control of their bodies for limited periods. The downside is that if someone's will exceeds his own they can overpower his control.

Sally: Sweet Deceit; Sally can manipulate people attacking her by making eye contact with them and tricking them into thinking she is their most loved person, thus stopping them from harming her. This quirk can only be used on a person one time.

[neerasrealm]

AAAAAAAAAAA I LOVED that poly!Slender x reader x LJ!! I didn’t originally request it, but if it’s not too much, can I please request a sequel (featuring the adorable Slendra Jackson?) Ty! 😁😁

Anon you have no idea how happy this request made me- I NEVER get asks about my OCs so you calling Slendra adorable and aSKING TO INTERACT WITH HER??? MADE ME REALLY REALLY HAPPY SO THANK YOU- sorry this ask took a bit to answer, I only got your ask late in the evening so I had to finish it off over the course of my morning. Thank you again for the ask!! I hope you like what I came up with- (put it under a cut since it’s a little long)

‘’More wine, dear?’’ Slender asks you from across the couch. It’s late, and quiet. A rare combination here in the mansion. Somehow, every other person in the mansion is downstairs, in their room or somewhere else. Meaning you and your two boyfriends are free to occupy the couch by yourselves and have a quiet evening, and you couldn’t ask for more. Being curled up against Jack’s soft body with Slender’s arms wrapped around you both. Even Jack is being quiet for once, his face resting against Slender’s chest. He might be asleep- you’re honestly not sure.

‘’Sure.’’ you murmur back, looking up at Slender. He seems to smile despite his lack of face and reaches over to the coffee table, pouring you some wine from the already-half empty bottle sitting on it. A benefit of not being human, you guessed, was being able to drink a lot of the stuff without worrying about intoxication. As you’re taking another sip from your glass a soft, shy voice interrupts you.

‘’Mama? Pops? Dad?’’ 

The three of you look over at the voice’s owner. A short girl with fiery hair and brownish-purple skin. Her eyes are bright and gold, and she has pale red horns and dark red claws that scratch gently against the bannister she’s holding. Your shared daughter- it’s odd, she’s not related to you, she’s adopted like every other child in the mansion, but she’s one of the few that calls you mom. Everyone took fairly naturally to you dating the mansion’s ‘dads’, just treating it like you were dating anyone else, but Slendra? She’s been calling you mom since day one. Not that you're complaining.

‘’Need somefink, luv?’’ Jack murmurs behind you. He sits up a bit. 

Slendra shifts where she stands. ‘’...can I get a bedtime story?’’ she asks quietly. Slender IMMEDIATELY sits up, alert. ‘’I-I know I’m a little old for it but-’’

‘’Ye can’t ou’grow bedtime stories, kiddo.’’ Jack says. Slender nods. You can’t help but smile a little bit at the two’s excitement- though Slender’s is far more obvious. You can’t blame them. Slendra is beginning to hit that- odd phase where kids think they need to act like adults. Except she’s only five years old. Damn demon aging. ‘’Ow abou’ me an’ Slen do i’ fer ya? I’ll do th’ voices an’ ‘e can narra’e. Like when ye were li’le.’’

You look at the two of them. ‘’I want in too.’’

‘’Ye can be th’ damsel in distress.’’

You give Jack an offended look and playfully slap his chest. ‘’Rude. Slender fits the damsel role better and you know it.’’

‘’...I do look good in a dress.’’ Slender says as he climbs off the couch. You and LJ cackle in amusement. Slendra giggles shyly.

The three of you follow Slendra upstairs to her room and walk inside. Her room is like a mix between Jack’s room and Slender’s office. Her walls are a deep lavender with darker swirls running across them. Her bed is round, oddly, and covered in pillows. She has a desk piled high with books and papers for her drawing and writing habits and her ceiling is covered in not only glow in the dark stairs, but music notes too. Her carpet is soft and your socked feet sink right into it. There's shelves on nearly every wall, full of toys, trinkets or books.

The little demon girl crawls into her bed and grabs her favorite stuffed toy- a purple and green dog you tried to win for her at a carnival but...well of course the game was rigged. It was actually her older brother EJ who managed to win it for her. With a little help from his demonic strength of course. She named it Scam, and you’re still proud of her for that.

The three of you all sit down at the foot of her bed. "Wha're ye in th' mood fer then?" Jack asks.

"Can you make a story?" Slendra asks, her eyes shining. A toothy grin curls up Jack's face. 

"Oh, I ge' ta flex me wri'in' t'nigh', eh?" He reaches into a puffy sleeve and pulls out a book. Slendra grins excitedly. You glance at the book's cover. Apparently Jack's homemade bedtime story is called 'The Damsel's Dragon'.

He clears his throat and opens the book. "Once upon a time, there wuz a pre'y young lass named…" Jack holds the book over to Slender. He shoots Jack an annoyed look and sighed.

"Damsel N. D. Stress." He finishes in the most airy, feminine voice you've ever heard him do. The three of you laugh while Slender fixes his tie. 

"Damsel wuz th' pre'ies' lass in th' land. People came far an' wide ta see 'er an' 'er collection 'f antique ties. All th' men in th' land wanted 'er 'and in marriage, bu' she wanted none 'f tha'." You watch Jack hold the book over to Slender again. 

"I hate you." Slender mutters. Slendra giggles. "Oh if only a big, handsome clown would come to admire my ties... if only…"

You laugh so hard you almost fall off the bed. Jack's hand reaches over quickly, his palm against your back, and pushes you back up. You snicker. "Sorry, sorry continue."

"Damsel spen' 'er days in 'er castle, wishin' an 'opin as th' worl' wen' by. Until one day, th' castle began ta shake! 'Er ties fell off th' shelves, 'er wine smashed to the ground!"

"Not the wine!" Slender exclaims in that airy, overly dramatic voice. You snicker again. 

"Th' castle stopped rockin' an' Damsel ran up ta th' top tower ta see wha' 'ad 'appened. When she go' up there, she saw a big migh'y dragon sleepin' on 'er castle's roof!" Jack stops and nudges you. "Ye're th' dragon." He whispers. You grin. 

The book is handed to Slender again. "Mr dragon, whatever are you doing up on my roof?" He exclaims. Jack holds the book over to you. Slendra looks at you excitedly. You're nowhere near as good at voices when compared to Slender and Jack, but Slendra doesn't seem to mind. You clear your throat.

"I'm taking a nap of course!" You growl out. Jack smiles as he passes the book to Slender again.

"Fockin' 'orrifyin', luv."

"Jack!" The three of you yelp. He laughs a bit.

"Sorry."

"Well you can't nap up here!" Slender continues with the story. "This is my castle! You have to go somewhere else!"

You lean over Jack's shoulder to see your next line. "Mmmm…No." You say. 

"Now Damsel wuz'nt tha' dumb. She knew be'er than ta argue wiv a dragon, an' so she wen' back into 'er castle an' began lookin' fer a way to ge' rid of th' dragon." 

"Good to know you don't see me as a total idiot." Slender murmurs.

"Wha' do ya mean? This isn' you, i's Damsel."

"Of course it is."

Jack grins to himself and looks back at the book. "She looked through 'er ye ol' phone book an' foun' somefink ta 'elp 'er!" He looks up at Slendra for a moment. "Th' mos' famous dragon extermina'or in th' worl'. 'Er name wuz Jackie Ardlens."

You force yourself to to 'awe' at the Slendra self-insert. She doesn't seem to have realised the character is literally named after her. 

"Jackie came ta th' castle an Damsel led 'er up ta th' tower."

"It's terrible!" Slender exclaims. "That great big ugly dragon does nothing but snore all day!"

"I don't snore." You retort. Slendra looks at you. You clear your throat. "I don't snore." You say again, this time in your dragon voice. She laughs. 

"Oh dragon," Slender continues with the story, ignoring you. "I've brought someone to drive you away!" You can't help but smile at how much he's actually getting into this role. Slendra is certainly enjoying it too.

"Huh? Drive me away?" You growl back at him. "How am I supposed to fit into a car?"

A grin curls up Jack's face. "Jackie stepped forward an' looked up a' th' dragon." He passes the book to Slendra who looks surprised, but then smiles wide.

"I've come to make you leave this poor lady alone!" She reads. "Why do you want to stay on this castle so bad?" 

"Why the sun of course, it's nice and warm up here. And this castle is the comfiest bed I've ever had!" You read back. 

"Hm…" Slendra cups her chin in her hand, pretending to think. "Well I say we build a new tower for you to sleep on! That way both of you will be happy."

Slender clasps his hands together. "Of course! That can be arranged." He says. Jack takes the book back and turns to the very last page.

"An' so, they buil' a big ol' tower fer th' dragon ta sleep on, an Damsel continued ta collec' 'er ties an' live 'appily ever after." He closes the book and smiles. "The end."

Slendra smiles wide. "I liked that one."

"Good." Jack leans in and kisses her forehead. "Now ge' yer res, swee'pea." He says softly while Slender pats the girls head. 

"Mama?" As you're following Jack and Slender out of the room Slendra calls you. You stop and look at her, curled up around Scam, a bright golden eye looking at you. "I love you."

You swear you can feel yourself practically melt for a moment. You smile at her. "I love you too, sweetheart." You say softly. She smiles, a couple fangs glinting in the light, then closes her eyes and snuggles up under the covers.

[satanic-assistant]

Jeff and I got ready for bed together, for once. His "happy pets" as I have started calling Smile dog and Grinny cat much to their dismay, hardly ever let me see him without his jacket. Let alone his shirt entirely.

The happy pets were being suspicious; smile was a bit of a darker pink and smiling wider than normal a clear sign he was up to something, and Grinny cat wasn't being as much of a nuisance which made me think he was sick or planning something bad.

Jeff of course didn't notice, busy making"innuendos" that we both knew the happy pets would never let happen.

Getting in the bed was awkward to say the least, but we managed it with me hugging him from behind while smile was in his arms and Grinny was covering his feet, like a fuzzy rug.

It normally takes Jeff awhile to sleep but I put my hand in his hair and suddenly, gentle snores.

"you are so touch starved I swear, gum bug."

Making horrible but somehow cute pet names for each other was an inside joke, but got really mean about it sometimes especially when he was mad. He made me cry at least once and then his sadist would show, laughing at me and calling me even worse names. He never apologized for it, but I forgave him it was a joke anyway. Besides Jane walked in and threw things at Jeff and called him "twinkle toes" and he didn't let that go.

Eventually I got to sleep too. I was hoping for a nice dream, but then I heard an all too familiar voice.

"heeey there, ahem "gum bug" how're you, in my dream?"

When we heard Smile dog budge in

"the sarcasm is crippling, Jeff. Anyway Grin and I won't get in the way of you two's disgusting human acts."

And with that Smile was gone. I looked up at Jeff, who was staring at me with what can only be described as, embarrassment and obsession.

"what are you looking at-...."

I tried to snap him back to a conversation

My voice trailed away as I look down and see a very "suggestive" outfit. I look back at Jeff with the look reserved for Grinny when she tries to swipe a crispy chicken nugget from Sally.

He looks like he's fighting a very hard battle with himself, somewhere along the lines of; should I take what's been given to me, against staying in this relationship.

I tried to snap him back to a conversation.

"w- who does he think he is. We both know he isn't and can't be "fixed". So what does he mean "disgusting human acts"?!"

Jeff didn't answer, looking at me like "take what has been given" was winning. He never answered me which was very chilling to say the least.

I'm maybe slightly uncomfortable right now, I'm not really saving myself for anything or anyone, but Jeff is the kind of person you'd want experience with before trying anything out. For once he said something before me, surprising me.

"ahemmm anyyywayyyy maaaybeee we should try to wake up, though I doubt either of them would let that happen."

I kind of wanted to know what the huge change of pace was for so I asked

"W- what was that? The change of pace! One day I can't look at you without a jacket, next we have to bang!?"

Maybe I was getting hysterical but I was justified. Plus I didn't get an answer just a recognizing

"hmmmmm"

I'm getting hot and shakey now, it's a weird but exciting experience even if nothing happens.

"instead of doing anything I know I can't do, how about we just talk???"

I know he'll laugh at it but I know I can't do anything he wants.

"I guessss but you have to be in my lap, and I'm touching you. Not my fault we're here, but I'm going to take advantage of it."

I agreed and the night was eventful and slow thanks to smile's dream manipulation. We both laughed, I told him about how the twinkle toes thing made me feel, he still didn't apologize so I got annoyed at him.

"okay then Twink-le toes, see how it feels when I ignore you."

Tilting my nose up away from his face with a little puff of breath.

He grabs my face with two hands, not really helping his point, and drags my head to look at him. He was cute in some kind of e-boy or emo way, the thought making me giggle

"what're you laughin about Hug Bug~?"

I could only reply honestly through laughs.

"You look like a emo, or an e-boy, I can only see you with the-"

"I can see the-"

Bursting out into laughs again my throat almost hurting

"I can see the stupid little chains but they're coming out of your s- swe- sw-weater pocket-"

Crumpling up to hold my stomach I look at his face, he looks dramatically unamused, at least. I think he does it can hard to tell with out his eyelids and eyebrows sometimes. Nonetheless his face reads "I'm not humoring this shit, but it is kind of funny." Not being able to tell only makes me laugh even more. By the time I calm down my throat is sore and my stomach feels liquefied.

He starts saying something but I don't hear, so I responded with maybe the worst choice I could have picked.

"What did you say stupid e-boy?"

He looks absolutely enraged and I'm half afraid of getting hit, but as always he was just being as dramatic as possible.

"I swear I'm going to make you go to sleep whether you want to or not, Snot Cake."

I decided to try and match his drama.

"Oh my heart, it hurts. My vessel only used for love has been damaged to no end!"

We both continued one upping each other's dramatisms until we were yelling at nothing, I gave in because I knew he never would. I pecked a smooch on his cheek and lay down, my outfit finally changing into my own clothes signaling I was awake.

Jeff still sleeping soundly like a baby. I reached over and tried to pet his hair until Grinny walked up and demand that I feed her, I look at the near by clock it says 12:30 am. I have no idea how Jeff ever went to bed before 1:00 but I have a feeling it was a combination of be hugged for once and the head rubs.

"No Grinny it's nowhere near breakfast."

I was tired and could hear it in my voice

Grinny, being hungry voiced his complaints in BEN's voice.

"I am Hungry, I will wake Jeff up right now! Do you think I won't!? Watch me!"

I'm tired and not in the mood to hear Grinny's bs, responding to him saying.

"Do you want a treat then?"

Just to shut him up.

Both Happy pets shoot up at the word and get on to the floor ready to tail me until occupied with their late night snack.

I try to be quiet though for no real reason, most of the proxies being awake or gone anyway.

BEN was playing on his new nintendo Masky is cleaning up Hoody's room while Hoody watches. Toby is pestering EJ for nothing other than entertainment. Jane, Clockwork and the other grown women were out having a "girl's night out" which they deserve to be honest Liu, well Sully was out aswell but not for socializing, he was doing what most of the proxies did best, kill. LJ doesn't sleep often. The real concerns are Sally sleeping soundly and Slenderman passed out on the couch.

Sally is a child and Slenderman being intimidating, I'm a fairly new proxy and I don't want to piss him off too much.

I get downstairs and in the kitchen, very aware to be even more quiet than before. Getting the respective treat cans for Smile and Grinny, I prepare them and put crunchy treats on top.

About to put the bowls on the floor, Grinny plays another great prank knowing full well I'm trying to be quiet as possible.

"Heeeey We're hungry Ya'know!"

I shoot a begging look at the two of them before putting the bowls down faster and running upstairs.

Getting to the room without confrontation, I keep the door open, knowing Grinny will try to prank me again if I close it.

"hmm morning uhhh- busy bee. Where were you?"

Jeff's sleepy voice makes me fill with some kind of energy I can't explain. Swooning nonetheless I answer.

"Giving your asshole animals late night snacks."

I say in a voice more irritated than I meant to sound.

"ohh don't care, but okay."

He says with a smirk and a shrug. I pick up a pillow and smack him with it, making him jump and grab me by the waist, pulling me into his lap.

"Don't get so buzzy, Honey cake~"

I turn around and try to hit him with my hand only successful once on his thick skull.

"the damn cat threatened and then pranked me!"

I get huffy and try to melt out his grasp, again failing in that endeavor, again attempting to hit him.

"Come on slug bug, don't treat me like that."

The only thing that gets me to calm down is his voice. I push him into our previous spots on the bed only missing the happy pets. He doesn't fall asleep right away this time, but I do finally getting rest without two furry assholes pestering my dreams.

Scene sorry if it's hard to read, this is my first fanfic anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.

[dalekofchaos]

One small change that could’ve improved TWDG seasons 2-4

I love AJ, I love Rebecca and I love Alvin. But I honestly think season 2, ANF and the Final season would’ve been better if instead of giving us completely new characters and a completely new baby, we should’ve gotten Christa and Omid’s baby instead and Clem taking care of him and guiding him. 

Here is how I could see this playing out

When Christa and Omid are talking about names, when Clem is given a choice about names, one option would be Lee Jr or LJ for short. Christa and Omid would be sad after hearing this but would love it

Omid doesn’t die(at least not yet) because I would not put them in a situation where Clem would allow some stranger to get ahold of her gun and be made to feel responsible for Omid’s death

I would replace the Cabin group with the 400 Days characters because I think it’s complete bullshit that Vince, Wyatt, Shel, Becca and Russell would ever trust someone like Carver and they just wasted them in cameo roles. When I first played 400 days I legit thought we got our new cast for the next season who Clem would work with in the next season, then they are never used but we are stuck with Bonnie. As for if we didn’t have the group join Tavia? Simple, Tavia’s people won’t take no for an answer and they are on the run regardless

Clem, Christa and Omid would be separated and Christa would be under the care with the 400 Days group. They are all suspicious of Clem when she arrives at their cabin, but when Christa tells them who she is, they let Clem go to Christa.

As for how they would be in this season. Vince takes the role of Luke/Carlos in the game. Russell and Becca are wary around Clem but come around, Wyatt is the chill older brother and Shel is the mom friend.

Episode 2, instead of meeting Carver, we meet Troy(as was teased) same situation but he says “my boss needs me to find them”

When we get to the ski lodge, instead of meeting Kenny, we would meet Omid. Happy reunion between Clem, Omid and Christa

Kenny would take the role of Carver. Now before ya’ll come at me with pitchforks and torches, Kenny was supposedly planned to be the antagonist character for the second season. Gavin Hammon revealed this during his OMG!Con 2015 Q&A Panel alongside Melissa Hutchinson. He said that Kenny was supposed to be the leader of the community Luke and the cabin survivors fled from, so Kenny would be in the Carver role. I think it could’ve worked. Losing his family, losing Lee and nearly dying to save Ben or Christa could’ve pushed him over the edge. 

Episode 3, you are tempted in choosing between your new friends or our old friend Kenny. But Clem realizes the Kenny she knew is long gone

Kenny blames Clem for everything. In Kenny’s POV, if Clem didn’t listen to The Stranger, Lee wouldn’t have gotten bitten, he wouldn’t have had to risk his life to try to save an already dying Ben or save Christa and they wouldn’t have lost the boat, they all would’ve gotten away. But due to Clem’s foolish childish desire to see her parents, everything fell apart. Again, this is Kenny’s perspective in this version

When the walkie-talkie plan goes down south, Vince is caught and as Clem prepares to turn herself in, Omid takes the blame is the one who is beat to a pulp

Seeing as Kenny has no attachment like Carver had for Rebecca, he does not catch them in the act(you’ll see why later) they are able to free themselves. Troy still gets shot in the dick by Jane

In place of Carlos, Shel is the one who gets shot and eaten. Becca runs

Episode 4. They all make it to the meet up spot. The deal to get ready for the baby happens as planned. Clem and Russell find Shel and Wyatt. While Becca was not sheltered like Sarah, she finds apart of herself died with Shel, but Clem is able to get her to snap out. I like to think Clem, Becca and Russell would begin to have a close friendship rather than Clem and Jane. In place of Arvo, it’s Eddie. Christa gives birth, but she dies. Before dying, Christa tells Clem to promise that she will take care of LJ no matter what, Clem promises. Near the end Eddie would bring back survivors from Kenny’s camp. Kenny has them surrounded. Bonnie tries to talk Kenny out of this and telling him they can all work together to survive. Kenny looks like he’s come to his senses, but raises the gun and shoots Bonnie.

Episode 5. Kenny is hunting everyone down. He wants to kill Clem and Omid and take the baby for himself. The last survivors are Clem, LJ, Becca and Russell. Omid sacrifices himself to save Clem. Clem shoots Kenny and for a brief moment, the old Kenny resurfaces and realizes the horrible things he’s done and apologizes. We would have a choice to forgive him, say Kenny will see Duck and Katja or to condemn Kenny

If I had my way ANF would be about Clem, LJ, Becca and Russell in Wellington, but let’s say it happens as per canon. Russell dies in the raid on Wellington. Becca stays in RIchmond and Clem goes on to find LJ

The Final season happens, but LJ knows about his parents Christa and Omid and Lee. Clem would always remind LJ that they’d all be proud of him.