#that one time I got really fucking sick while I was homeless and I had to go to urgent care and the dr was a cock

[softenji]

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve just gotten pretty lucky in life when it comes to doctors or if Connecticut just has a better health care system than everyone else in America because whenever I see the usual list of complaints about health care stuff I’m like. I literally cannot relate to this 🫥

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[mobbu-min]

☆ bragging rights ☆

request: What if the dorm leaders had an s/o fawning over them and bragging about them to the first years and Grim?

a/n: They would all get tired of it quickly, well maybe not Sebek or Ortho. But Epel and Ace? They're def tried to tape your mouth shut. I ended up formatting this differently, but I like it so…yeah. Also each dorm leader will be paired with their corresponding first year! Just because it makes it easier for me lol Grim will be filling in for the dorms that don’t have first years! But he also got his own part bc he’s my little meow meow

!tw! cursing, readers a major simp

Grim <3

⋆ Being the one that’s with you the most, Grim has learned to tune you out when you go on a rant on how amazing and caring your favorite housewarden is. He learned first hand how sad or irritated you get when he tells you to be quiet. And he wasn’t about to face that again.

⋆ Grim’s a little jealous about how much you brag about them. He’s all like, ‘that should be me!’ but he quickly gets over it because you tend to give him a lot of affection while you go on your rants.

⋆ Does he gag every time you fawn over them? Yes, because the thought of his henchman having goo-goo eyes for them makes him sick.

⋆ The only reason why Grim hasn’t vomited on their shoes is because they tend to give you stuff, which translates to Grim getting stuff too. (his reasoning is that you’re both one student) So he is there on dates and hangouts a whole lot.

Riddle + Ace/Deuce <3

⋆ Ace is so so so sick of it. Like Grim, seeing you be all mushy with his dorm leader makes him want to pluck his eyes out. He’s all like, ‘C’mon! Riddle? That short fu-’ and Deuce has to stop him before you could jump him. Ace is truly confused in what you see in him. And he swears his ears bleed whenever you start on your rant about Riddle. He didn’t think anyone could be this down bad for someone, besides Sebek.

⋆ Deuce finds it admirable about how much you care about Riddle. Sure he does get a little annoyed when you decide to start talking about Riddle when you said you’d help him study or when you immediately dash towards Riddle when you’re supposed to be helping him with your alchemy assignment, but other than that he doesn’t really have anything against it. Just please, don’t go running off when you’re doing a very time-sensitive potion again. He does not want to deal with a giant radish baby again.

⋆ Riddle goes incredibly bashful when he overhears Ace complaining about your crush on him. He immediately wants to rush to you and confirm the truth, because he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on you. It’s literally the best news in his life. Knowing that you liked him enough to blabber anyone’s ear off makes him blush. Boy is smitten.

Leona + Jack <3

⋆ He literally just tunes you out. Jack is too busy to pay any attention to your rambling, so he’ll let you trail behind him, but beware, he is not processing anything. At first, Jack’s all like, yeah Leona is super cool and wow you sure are observant, then ‘omg they just want to fuck him.’ he actualy does sit you down one day and says as much as he loves to see you happy, please stfu about Leona. But hey, at least his cacti are thriving.

⋆ Smug fucker. Super duper smug. There’s nothing stopping him from going up to you and demanding you never to stop. On any other occasion, Leona would have told them to stop being a suck up, but you’re different <3. Nobody really notices but like Ruggie and Rook(bc he’s a creep, jk i love my babygirl) but Leona has gotten significantly happier and sorta, kinda nicer(?) All Ruggie knows is that if Leona's in a bad mood is to get you asap!

Azul + Grim <3

⋆ Grim doesn’t get it. Like it’s Azul. The guy that tried to take Ramshackle away from you both? The guy that practically made you temporarily homeless!? Did you wack your head, henchman!? Grim swears he loses his already lacking brain cells whenever you start on your midnight rambles about Azul. The only thing that makes up for it is the fact you take him to the Monstro Lounge once a week to gaze lovingly at Azul. The food he loves. Azul? Grim thinks you should reconsider.

⋆ Dude deadass faints like a maiden seeing an ankle for the first time. He deadass can’t comprehend the fact that you talk so highly of him. Because he was sure that you hated him. Don’t get Azul wrong, he’s delighted to know that you want him the same way, but jeez, give his heart a break. His mind is doing loopies at all the ways he can get you to go on a date with him that doesn’t involve him turning into a big stuttering mess.

Kalim + Grim <3

⋆ This one? This one is one Grim can get behind. Sure Kalim is full of energy and always wants to feed Grim dry ass cookies. But do you want to know what Kalim has? Yeah, Kalim has money and he’s more than willing to spend it on you, and by extension, Grim. So he doesn’t complain much when you rant his fiery ear off everyday. Because if his plan goes right, then…well, let’s just say the first thing on Grim’s spending list is a month’s worth of premium tuna.

⋆ Kalim has to thank the Seven and Grim! Because if it wasn’t for them, he wouldn't have overheard you saying how great he was and how much you liked him! Boy is over the moon! Instantly he’s by your side smiling so brightly it puts the sun to shame and happily exclaims he loves you too! Que, him planning your wedding- Anyways, Kalim returns your enthusiasm ten fold! Like, how could he not?! You’re so perfect in Kalim’s eyes that it would be wrong not to talk about you 24/7! Poor Jamil, Kalim already was talking about you so much, but after that day, it doubled. He really does consider faking his death and going to live in the countryside.

Vil + Epel <3

⋆ Epel wants to strangle you. Like legit wishes that both sides of your pillow are warm at night and more. He can’t wrap his mind around that fact that you! Want VIL FUCKIN SCHOENHEIT! His WORST enemy! Boy feels hella betrayed. He thought you didn’t like him, only to find out you want to fu-ahem, Epel shouldn't say that outloud, Meemaw rules and all. Epel wonders if it’s something in the water you city folk drink, because he sure as hell gonna stay FAR away from that.

⋆ Your title goes from ‘Potato’ to ‘HIS sweet potato’ real fast. Because of course, you would brag and rant about him at any moment and to anyone. Vil overhears and all like ‘Oh, no please excuse my snooping…but please don’t let me stop you~’ Vil won’t tell you but when you were spending an ungodly amount of time with Rook, he was a little peeved(aka worried) But he’s quick to find out that you and Rook have just been building a shrine in the school's bathroom (just girly tings~) he is incredibly disturbed, but hey, at least Neige doesn’t have this dedicated fanbase.

Idia + Ortho <3

⋆ Sweet baby is so happy to hear you talk so highly and lovingly about his older brother! Orthos literally this \^o^/. He’s bringing you in a big hug and spilling all his brother’s secrets! He’s heard (seen all of Idia’s shoujo anime) and learned that miscommunication is a big leading factor to couples not getting together! And like hell, is he letting this opportunity slip by! Number one wing man, fr!

⋆ You know when cats get scared, they’ll jump up? Yeah, well that’s Idia when you come bursting in screaming ‘I LOVE YOU TOO, MY BABYGIRL !’ Everyone thinks a murder is happening but, it’s just Idia screaming. He knew that you were always talking about him and he was planning a super macho way to ask you out, it's just that his confidence he ordered off of amazon hadn’t gotten here in time. He’s both annoyed and grateful that Ortho spilled his secret, because he sure as hell wouldn’t have. Now all that’s left is to make sure to calm his red face before you notice.

Malleus + Sebek <3

⋆ Sebek at first is all like ‘WHAT'S YOUR MOTIVE, HUMAN!’ but after hearing the pure adoration in your voice, he’s immediately all like ‘I’VE MISS JUDGE YOU! YOU AREN’T AS AIRHEADED AS YOU APPEAR TO BE!!!’ (you can either choose to take it as a compliment or not-) Immediately, Sebek is inviting to his tri-weekly meetings to talk about the oh so great, waka-sama. Literally it’s just him, with a powerpoint about Malleus, and Silver, who’s slumped over in a corner. The first thing on his list is to give you the club member uniform, a white tee with malleus’s face and in comic sans, ‘Waka-Sama Forever!’ Sebek happily informs you, Lilia made it. Sebek is actually so happy to talk about Malleus with you, though he suspects after a few, ahem-unholy, comments from you, that your view on Mal is not the same as his. Nonetheless! Sebek happily listens to your rants.

⋆ Though, beware everyone else’s eardrum because you both don’t shut up. (silver is unsurprisingly not disturbed)

⋆ How do I put this?….Malleus is so fucking smug. So much smugger than anyone else on this list. Like his favorite human, no HIS Human, is talking so fondly about him, looking at him like he’s the sun and moon and the universe. Like how can he not be smug about it, but most of all, how can he not fall impossibly deeper in love with you? Like you might not know this, but Malleus talks about you the same way you talk about him. Him knowing this just causes him to feel like his crush on you can be a reality. You and him can be the future

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I have a good angst idea 😈

So, you know about those stories of Lilith returning and causing Adam to doubt himself?

What if Lilith just drives him off and he runs away, going missing, all the gang (except Lilith) trying to find Adam and being worried sick for him, especially Lucifer.

Once they do find him, Lucifer and Adam get into a fight, Lucifer wonder what got Adam to do something like this and not think how others would feel while Adam is wondering why the devil even cares

But once Adam tells his reasonings and reveals Lilith’s true nature, Lucifer tries to comfort Adam, fuming at lilith’s words.

-🐊

Oh ho ho!! 😈

"What do you mean gone?" Lucifer asked Angel, he had gone to Adams room to see if the sinner was okay, seeing Lilith after all this time must have been jarring. Adam was not in his room, his cell phone was even left on the night table.

Angel fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "He said he needed to leave..... So he left."

"You didn't try to stop him!?" Lucifer shouted, he felt bad for making Angel jump.

"I thought he was just going for a small walk to clear his head! Not disappear for three fucking days!"

"We have to go find him, who knows what kind of trouble he could get into." Lucifer said, he got everyone ready to go out and look for Adam save for Lilith. She wasn't interested but Charlie said it was good to have someone stay back in case Adam came back to the hotel.

They looked high and low all over Pentagram city. Lucifer took to the sky, flying frantically to find his boyfriend. Why would Adam up and leave like this? Didn't he understand how dangerous it was for him to be out there alone?

A streak of red and black wings caught his eye dipping into a nearby cave on the outskirts of the city. Lucifer lowered himself down to the ground and walked over to the cave. "Adam?"

Golden eyes shone in the darkness, wide in surprise. "How the fuck did you find me?"

"I can find you anywhere." In reality he got lucky. "Why are you out here living like a fucking homeless man? Why aren't you at the hotel? Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was when I couldn't find you!?"

Adam crawled out of his cave and scoffed. "Oh fucking spare me! Like you care, you got your precious wife back!"

Lucifer looked at Adam, really looked at him. He looked as if he'd been crying, his appearance was unkept, hair ruffled and clothes dirty. He looked like shit. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying! What are you talking about, I'm with you now not Lilith. Just because she came back doesn't mean I'm taking her back." Lucifer didn't know where this was coming from.

Adam looked away, eyes filled with heartache and sorrow. "That's not what she said."

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, he didn't like where this was going. "What did she say?"

Adam broke down and poured his heart out. He talked about what Lilith said to him, about him being less than nothing, how he was nothing more than a place holder until she came back, that Lucifer didn't really want him and no one did or ever would. How much he was a waste of space and deserved every cruel thing that has ever happened to him and that no one ever loved him.

By the time he was done Lucifer was pissed. Not at Adam, but at Lilith for putting all those horrible thoughts in Adams head. He held Adam close until the sinner stopped crying.

It took a while.

When he got back to that hotel he was going to make damn sure Lilith knew her place. No one speaks to Adam like that.

No one.

[painedpen]

Tell me anything and everything abt your headcanons and stuff for Mondo Owada, I'm all ears! He's one of my favorites so I'd love to hear what you think‼️

Thank you very much but you have no clue what you’ve just unleashed.

Fluff:

- Mondo’s maternal family originated from France, so French is his and Daiya’s first language. Of course, Mondo has never met his mother’s family… yet.

- Speaking of maternal family, anyone wanna take a guess as to what his mother’s maiden name is? Anyone? Too late, it’s Akamatsu.

- So yeah, Kaede is Mondo and Daiya’s little cousin. Kaede is about two or three years younger than Mondo, and she’s delighted to find her long lost cousin at her new high school.

- Due to having to fend for themselves at a young age, both Mondo and Daiya are really good cooks. The difference between them is that Mondo refuses to allow anyone else in the kitchen when he’s cooking. Think Gordon Ramsey but somehow even worse.

- Mondo will never admit to anyone that he likes to cook. God forbid you ask him to cook for you. Unless you’re sick or like really sad. He’ll tell you to never tell anyone though.

- Physical affection is not only his love language, it’s his way of life. Every time you see him, he’s leaning on or hugging one of his classmates. He’s like a really big cat.

- When he was a kid, Daiya couldn’t leave him alone for a moment, cause every time he came back Mondo would have befriended some random animal of prey. Daiya turns around and Mondo is cradling a Great Horned Owl in his arms like a baby.

- Mondo hasn’t been able to bring himself to have another pet since Chuck, so instead he co-parents everyone else’s pets. He’s already won over Celeste’s cat.

- Most of his childhood was spent around a pack of stray animals. One day, a cat curled up on his lap and started purring, and Mondo was like “heehee funny noise” and started mimicking it. Long story short, Mondo purrs as a stim.

- He’s the best adoptive big brother ever. Are you an only child, or just temporarily sad for some reason? Boom, Mondo’s your big brother now. No, no, don’t fight it.

- After befriending Kiyotaka, Mondo went to his French class for the first time in his school career. (He picked it because it was an easy A.) Listening to his teacher, he realized very quickly that she was not a native speaker, nor had she learned from a native speaker. He was quiet for a solid five minutes and then said, in perfect French, “What the fuck are you talking about??”

- Dyslexia makes it so that letters and words are hard for him to understand. But numbers? Ohoho he knows all about those little bitches! Because of this, he’s shockingly good at subjects like Algebra and Calculus.

Angst: (CW: Abandonment, dissociation, child abuse, neglect, violence)

- Mondo’s dad was a real piece of shit to both his wife and kids. Unfortunately, Moselle, his mother, could only find one way to cope with it. She dissociated to the point where she couldn’t recognize her children.

- Daiya and Mondo didn’t know what was wrong with her, so they always said that “Maman is just away.”

- While Daiya was busy trying to take care of his little brother, Mondo dedicated himself to taking care of their mother. Despite Moselle not being able to do much more than basic self-care, Mondo was convinced that she was just sick, and that they needed to help her get better.

- I won’t go into heavy details, but Mondo and Daiya ended up homeless. After the trauma of what he went through with his parents, Mondo went entirely nonverbal for several years.

- One day, while Daiya was away looking for a source of income, Mondo was mugged while alone. A shot through the shoulder left him on the floor looking for help. No one bothered until Officer Takaaki Ishimaru came along. He got Mondo to a hospital just in time.

- Because of nights spent outside, Mondo tends to get Wind Anxiety. When the wind blows fast enough to be heard from inside, Mondo automatically starts shivering. It doesn’t matter if he actually feels cold or not, it’s just an unfortunate muscle memory.

- Mondo doesn’t remember a lot about his childhood, but he finds he can’t forget what his mother’s face looked like just before her death. He refuses to sleep most days because his dreams are full of her eyes looking directly at him.

- Daiya doesn’t remember a thing, but Mondo refuses to remind him. He’d rather Daiya live in blissful ignorance than have him suffer the way Mondo has.

- Mondo still goes nonverbal sometimes, so he likes to wear a face mask. He looks intimidating in that, so no one tries to talk to him when he’s wearing it. Win-win.

- While the Crazy Diamonds is genuinely fun, it’s not a healthy environment for Mondo in the slightest. There’s a large minority of members who still think he’s too weak to be in the gang. They constantly try to pester and bully him into retiring early.

- It was even worse when Daiya was still in charge. Almost everyone hated him. He would get into fights, people would tell him that he should get into a crash and die so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. It was rough.

- Even so, Mondo stayed quiet about it. These people were like family to Daiya, and Mondo didn’t want to be the reason Daiya lost any more family. When Daiya asked why he’d come home with bruises all over, Mondo would blame it on a rival gang.

- The first time Hiroko met Mondo, she gave him a hug. She did that thing moms do, cradling the back of his head and neck with her hand protectively. Mondo absolutely melted.

Platonic Pairings:

Mondo + Kyoko:

- These two mean. So much to me.

- They are both black cat coded but in completely different ways. Like Kyoko is a mysterious and dark Witch’s Familiar, and Mondo is a moody dumbass who likes snuggles.

- Kyoko’s love language isn’t physical affection. But she spontaneously decides to cuddle with Mondo for an hour and a half to the second, and then silently leaves.

- Mondo joins Kyoko on her murder investigations sometimes. He contributes practically nothing, he’s just here to hang out. Kyoko appreciates his presence anyway.

Mondo + Chihiro:

- Okay this one’s just obvious.

- I don’t even think I need to say anything about this.

Mondo + Toko:

- Mwah. Delicious.

- I think that Mondo would hate the way Byakuya treats Toko, and would start aggressively defending her.

- He starts “training” her in order to try and get her confidence up.

- Like, Toko wears a rubber band around her wrist that Mondo snaps every time she self-deprecates. Pavlov her into positive self talk, y’know?

- Toko tells Byakuya to go fuck himself and Mondo stands in the background, wiping a tear from his eye.

Mondo + Celeste:

- Sibling energy frfr.

- They scream at each other in French, but would go to war for each other no questions asked.

- They shit-talk other people together.

- Celeste forces him to wear his hair down every now and again because “The big hair distracts from your pretty face!”

- Mondo points out that she’s a hypocrite. Celeste doesn’t care.

- These two fight so much but there’s no real animosity behind it. Not that anyone around them can tell. Everyone else thinks that they just plain hate each other.

Mondo + Gundham:

- Childhood friends. Hear me out.

- Mondo found a really sick stray puppy when he was little and rushed him to the vet. The vet said that since Mondo didn’t have any money, there was nothing they could do. Mondo was really upset.

- Baby Gundham came up behind them like “You foulest of fiends! It would seem your soul has been buried under stone, if you have it in you to turn away a creature in need. Worry not, mortal, for I, the great Gundham Tanaka, will help you restore this dark beast to its rightful glory!”

- Baby Mondo was like “Okay lol” and they both left.

- That’s how Mondo got Chuck.

Mondo + Mikan:

- Hoo boy!!

- Mondo is in the infirmary a lot due to obvious reasons, so it’s only natural that he would be friendly with the nurse.

- Every time Hiyoko or someone else tries to come in and bully Mikan, Mondo picks them up by the neck and throws them out.

- It’s gotten to the point where, even if Mondo isn’t there, Mikan will just tell people “If you won’t leave me alone, I’ll call Owada!” No one fucks with that.

- Overall, having Mondo’s protection is a huge confidence boost for her.

Kay there you go.

[goldenavenger02]

Kid lloyd gets sick and the ninja take care of him??

Or- Jay and lloyd doing silly antics and the ninja being so done with their crap??

(P.s. get well soon!❤️)

Thank you for the well wishes! I went with the first idea since I immediately had inspiration for it (thank you, Darkness Shall Rise, AKA one of my top three episodes of the show) and I hope you enjoy!

Buzz. Buzz.

Cole knew he couldn't get on his phone as he stood outside of the front steps of the bank.

His boss was already upset with him for stopping that elderly woman, no matter how many times he explained that she was acting suspicious, so answering his phone was only gonna get him in more trouble if not straight up fired.

And he couldn't afford to lose this job, not when the only one making more money than him was Zane, even if it was only by two dollars.

Buzz. Buzz.

'Maybe it'll go voicemail, or they'll just give up and text me. I can check it on my lunch break.' Cole hoped as he observed the sidewalk.

Buzz. Buzz.

"Oh, screw it," Cole muttered, taking a look around to make sure his boss wasn't anywhere to be seen before pulling his phone out and answering it, not even bothering to look at the number, "Hello? I'm at work-"

"Do we have Tylenol?" Lloyd's congested voice cut him off and stopped annoyance from continuing to build in his chest.

"We don't have any children's, I don't think. Zane's going grocery shopping after his shift though, I can ask him to pick some up on my break," Cole explained quickly, "are you okay? You sound snotty."

"My head hurts, but I'm-" Cole winced at the sound of Lloyd's coughing fit coming through the phone and was greeted by a much more hoarse voice finishing his sentence, "I'm okay."

"No, you're sick is what you are," He retorted while trying to calculate who would be off work the soonest in his head and simultaneously trying his best to not think about her since that was the last thing he needed right now, "look, I can ask to clock out early-"

"No! We need the money!"

Cole sighed because Lloyd was right; if they didn't save up the money for rent, they'd be homeless which would be another obstacle that stood in the way of them stopping Lord Garmadon and the Serpentine.

"Okay, okay, I'll stay," Cole agreed even though every congested sniffle made him want to leave and get back to the penthouse so the ten year old wasn't alone, "but I'll ask the others, see if one of them is almost done with work."

"I really don't need-"

"Yes, you do. You're sick and can't even reach the medicine cabinet," Cole argued and when he only got a huff in response, he continued, "I gotta go now, squirt. Can you go lay down until one of us gets home?"

"Yeah."

"Alrighty. Be good." Cole insisted before hanging up, only to be met with the scowling face of his boss. 'Shit.'

"So now you're taking personal phone calls on company time?"

"It was an emergency, my little brother's sick-"

"This is your second strike, Brookstone," his boss cut him off with a hand held up, "do not get a third."

Cole waited until the man was out of earshot to say what he was really thinking, "I need to get a better job", before he pulled out his phone and opened the group chat to type a quick message.

"Lloyd's sick. Needs meds and someone to watch him."

And with that, he put his phone on silent and pocketed it; after all, he had done everything he could, he just had to hope that one of the others had access to their phone.

…

"How do we even take care of him? He's Garmadon's son, what if he has a completely different recovery process?"

"Jay, what the actual fuck are you talking about?"

"What did the thermometer say again?"

"100.4, but I would not be surprised if it has risen since we returned."

Lloyd's eyes burned as he tried to open them; after calling Cole, he figured that the best thing to do was lay down on the couch until one of the others got back with Tylenol but after taking a nap, his clothes were stuck to his body with uncomfortable sweat despite just how cold he was.

Even though he felt it building in his throat, the deep cough that made his head pound and his chest burn caught him off guard, as well as effectively silencing the bickering that had started in the other room before bringing what sounded like two sets of footsteps right to him.

"Lloyd? Are you awake?" A hand pressed against his forehead and gently brushed his hair away from his eyes, one that was warm and calloused against his soft skin, "he's burning up."

Lloyd finally managed to open his eyes, craning his neck to look up at Cole's face looking down at him before looking right at Kai who still had his hand against his forehead and turned his tight frown into a smile that anyone could have seen right through.

"Hey, buddy. We got you some medicine and Zane's making dinner."

"Not hungry."

"You gotta take some medicine regardless," Cole cut in as Kai pulled his hand away from his face and walked towards the kitchen, "plus, chicken noodle soup, especially Zane's recipe, is a surefire way to clear out that sinus system of yours even if you just drink the broth."

"Hey, what are we making Lloyd take right now?!" Jay called from the kitchen which made Cole sigh while smacking his hand gently onto his forehead in annoyance.

Lloyd had to fight back against the cough that built up in his chest from giggling at the action.

"I'll be right back. Stay awake, okay?"

The nod only made his head pound harder behind his eyes, but he kept it to himself until the last of the ninja made their way into the kitchen when he draped a hand over his eyes.

"You wanna sit up for a sec and take this?"

Cole's voice was gentle, almost in a parental way but Lloyd did not want to sit up; not when his head felt like a bowling ball,his limbs felt like jelly and he could barely keep his eyes open with how much the light burned them.

"Not really."

"Lloyd-"

"Everything hurts."

"I know. I know you feel like shit and I'm sorry that I wasn't here sooner, but the medicine will help you feel better and we're working to get shifts arranged so someone can keep an eye on you-"

"Is that gonna mean less money?"

Cole pulled in a sigh as he rubbed a hand over his face before his dark brown eyes pierced into Lloyd's green ones.

"Lloyd, this whole job and house and money thing, you don't have to worry about it. We'll figure it out, all you need to worry about is getting better, okay?"

Despite how much he wanted to protest, about how the only reason they had to work this hard was because they wanted to make sure he got the best training possible, his head hurt too much to push back against Cole's statement, "okay."

"Alright, then let's get you medicated and in bed. Sleeping on the couch cannot be good for your back."

…

It hadn't taken long to get Lloyd in bed.

Kai remembered when the kid used to fight, punch, scream and even bite on a few occasions when they had first brought him aboard The Bounty every time they tried to get him to bed.

Sensei and Zane were the only ones who ever had any luck getting him to lay down and go to sleep at a reasonable time, even though he was still convinced that Jay had let Lloyd stay up past his bedtime multiple times.

He knew that most of it was because he was sick and barely able to sit up to take the medication that he had called Cole to get, let alone bicker with the others about how he should be allowed to stay awake past eight thirty p.m.

But at the same time, he couldn't help but wonder if some of it was the boy grappling with how serious his destiny was.

It had been different when Kai thought it would be him to defeat Lord Garmadon, that it was just like any other ordinary battle despite the heavy weight of it, but now that they knew that one day it would be his very own son that would stand in front of him and strike him down.

Kai just hoped that Lloyd's gi would no longer have to be cuffed around his ankles and wrists before that happened.

He was relieved when his phone alarm went off, announcing that it was time for him to free Cole from beside duty, even if it was just so he could escape his thought process.

When he walked into Lloyd's bedroom, he wasn't surprised to see Cole's head resting against his neck in the armchair that sat in the corner of the room; seeing the youngest of their team sick was stressful on all of them, but knowing just how close it was to home for Cole added another layer of worry to Kai's already frayed nerves.

Despite how peaceful he looked and how tired he had been from standing for nearly twelve hours straight for the last couple of days with the exception of a half-hour lunch break, Kai knew that if he didn't send him to lay down in his real bed until he left again at five that his neck would regret it in the morning.

"Cole?" He whispered, only getting a response in the form of an aggressive jerk when he rested his hand on his shoulder, "sorry."

"No, no, you're good," Cole shook his head, standing up and twisting his head to the right until his neck let out a small 'crack', "be careful with that chair, it'll do a number on your neck."

"Noted."

"Jay set his alarm?"

"Yeah, I watched him do it," Kai nodded, leaving out the part where he hovered over Jay's shoulder as he set multiple alarms due to the fact that he was notorious for hitting the snooze button and ending up being late, "go get some sleep."

Cole nodded with a mumbled "night" as he left the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving him alone in the dark room with Lloyd who was still asleep despite their hushed whispers.

Kai couldn't stop himself from brushing the hair out of the boy's eyes before resting his hand on his flushed cheek and letting the feverish warmth seep into his skin for a moment before sitting down in the armchair.

Maybe he couldn't stop Lloyd's destiny from hitting him way too soon and way too fast, maybe he didn't have his elemental powers anymore thanks to the lack of a fire sword, and maybe he couldn't get enough money being a party entertainer, despite doing the human pinata, that wouldn't pale in comparison to the others salaries.

But, he was able to sit in the darkness on the off chance that Lloyd woke up and needed someone there to comfort him, give him more Tylenol or even just let him know that he wasn't alone; for Kai, given everything else going on, that was enough.

[lilith-little-world]

Sneak Peek of Chapter 3|| The Isekai’d Oracle

Sorry for being away, some shit happened and I’m finally well enough to write again, until I go and get my tonsils remove. Was a crazy few months from being sick, getting sick again, and enrolling to college. So yeah, been busy and just recently things calmed down and I finally sat down and write. Enjoy.

Also this is a rough draft and there may be some small changes to it when finished.

Your body felt numb, as the freezing cold winds surround you. The ground dark and dead. Trees twisted from the cold harsh temperatures. It felt like the freezing cold was consuming you.

You continue to travel up the frozen path. Stumbling on a sharp pillar of ice. This was oddly familiar to you as dread filled your being on what was to come next.

Where the hell are you at now?

You were in the motel room, going to bed. So how did you end up here?

The pillar of ice was thick and tall, your cloudy reflection stare back at you. The details smudge made it hard to see yourself. Though, it didn’t felt like you were. No, the colors of your clothes were different. You reach your hand to touch the ice. The closer it got, the more the reflection changed and shift. Your hand turning blue, either from hypothermia or something else completely.

Low whispers filled the air.

Muttering.

“Are you really going to let it play out like this?”

The shock of the bitter coldness burns your hand, the moment you touch the ice. You yell and pull away, looking around to see who is with you. Clutching your injured and shaking hand, trying to calm your quick breaths. The pain getting worse, as it slowly spread down your arm.

No one.

You were alone.

However, the whispering didn’t stop. It kept getting louder and louder. Trying to wrap your mind around that voice, it was yours, yet it wasn't. You tried to think more but the intangible whispers made it hard. Your eyes shoot around hoping to find the source of the whispers and voice. 

Then it clicked.

You have seen this place before.

A groan escaped from you when you felt Almond lick your cheek. She was laying on top of you. The room felt oddly cold as you slid the small dog off of you.

You sat up from the bed and yawn. Brows furrowed, rubbing your hand. The same hand, that touched the frost on the window and that ice pillar in your dreams. It didn’t hurt now, but you still felt a phantom pain to it.

That’s right, your dream…

You say they're silently, thinking. Maybe all the stress and worries on not knowing what to do when season three hits, are chewing you up more than expected. It’s not unreasonable to believe that dream means nothing and is just a projection of your fears. However, you’re literally in the show you've been obsessed over and anything is fair game now. 

Yet which was more reasonable, that being a simple nightmare or there’s a warning to it?

…

Almond lays next to you and waits patiently.

“We are going to a different motel. I am not dealing with this or the Lady Bone Demon. Fuck this shit.” 

You got up from the bed and packed the little items you have in your backpack. As much as you love the show and the characters, which you would love to meet someday. Just not the Lady Bone Demon, and you can be naïve most of the time, at least you have some common sense and take that nightmare as a sign to go hide for a while. Just until things calmed down and try to come up with a plan to do next. You had spent long enough adjusting to this new world, it’s time to go out and well— do something.

You’re not risking anything when it comes to her. Maybe that nightmare was just simply a nightmare and just a by-product of your fears. A reasonable explanation for a world, where there are no such things as magic and demons.

Sadly, you’re currently in a world where such things exist.

You pause and place the bag on your bed.

“Where can I even go?” 

Almond whines, as you mutter. You’re completely on your own, with no one to help. You have no powers and are homeless. If that dream was a sign, then for what? What can it be telling you?

And why you?

It’s not like you wished for this to happen. 

Well, not exactly…

You groan before putting on your backpack. Guess your only option currently is to go to a different motel and hope nothing dangerous happens.

“Come on, Almond we have a stressful day ahead of us.” 

You left in a hurry and Almond followed close behind. This isn’t how you wanted to start off your second chance in life. 

Your steps were loud, stomping down the stairs. Thinking about what to do. It’s not safe to stay out on the streets. Then you had to “work” for Jin and Yin. Though, you can always just not go. 

Almond barks and circles around you while walking. Letting out a sigh and picking her up. 

“I can’t be always carrying you.” Almond just snuggles closer, resting her small head on your shoulder. You felt her body relax and almost melt in your hold.

“Only for a while, I can’t carry you the whole time.”

You walk around the city, going to different parts and just trying to memorize the area. Everything was busy, cars going by, people walking into shops or restaurants, and tourists buying street food or souvenirs. 

“Maybe I should…” You let your mind wander, only for a bit. Yet it wouldn’t hurt, would it? Is it really the best choice-

You take in your surroundings and really focus. Going down streets that looked familiar.

It wouldn’t hurt to see it, right? You can be a customer. Wait do you even have enough money? No, you can deal with that later.

You continue to look around and take turns but nothing was standing out. Almond whines, and stirs a bit, confused by your sudden boost of energy.

“I just need to check something out. It’ll be quick, I promise.” 

Almond huffs and starts softly but firmly scratches your shirt.

“We are heading to a place, for a nice breakfast for once. Doesn’t that sound great? A warm, home-cooked style breakfast… can dogs even eat noodles?” You pause for a second, before continuing forward. “I’ll just buy something with meat and just give it to you.” 

Almonds squirm in your hold as you eagerly walk. You slowly realize that it's a lot harder to locate since everything is not a 2D cartoon drawing. Yet by some miracle, you see that familiar sign. You held your breath and stood there for a second. 

Are you really going to do this? I mean, isn’t this what you have been fantasizing about in your previous life? Even though it was a simple fantasy and never expected it to happen. Yesterday stressed you out, meeting the “villains” of the show was draining. 

You walk up to the small restraint. Hopefully, you’ll have enough money to pay.

Almond barks in your ear.

“Hey- calm down, you’re still in trouble. I’m not letting you go this time so you can run off.”

To your dismay, you couldn’t keep hold of the squirming dog. You had to put her down. Almond immediately turns to face you, her body outstretched. Her upper half is down on the ground, in a dog’s playing pose. She let out a loud bark and you stared down at her unimpressed.

“I’m hungry, let’s go in.”

She let out another bark.

“And we need to eat.”

She barked again but was mixed with a growl.

“Okay, you do know I can't understand you, right?”

Almond huffs.

“Come on, I know you’re hungry, cause I am. This will be fun, a nice meal.”

You stare down at the dog, who keeps her stance ready. However, her small stature made it easy to walk by the small dog. Almond keeps barking, obvious warnings.

“I’m gonna keep going and have a nice breakfast, with or without you.” You continue to walk to the small restaurant, the familiar neon sign outside, keeps pushing you forward. 

This was it, no one is going to stop you. You’re going to meet main characters of this show. 

That’s right, this is your second chance in life. Why waste it on working every second? You deserve to treat yourself and have no one to tell you “no” or that you don’t have enough time for. 

You reach the entrance, ready to enter and completely ignoring Almond’s barking. Inches away until you were swept up from your feet. Somebody throwing you over their shoulder as they ran. On instinct you let out a loud scream as the two trickster demon carry you off.

“What the- put me down!” 

“Didn’t we told you we would find you if you didn’t showed up for today’s work?” Yin said.

“And here we find you going off eating at the place our sworn enemy works at!” Jin yells a bit frustrated.

“I just wanted to eat! And- PUT ME DOWN!” You shouted back at them. Almonds barks and chase after you three down the street. As the two demons push the pedestrians aside. While you continue to scream.

“Maybe… another day… I just wanted to eat at Pigsy’s Noodles…” You whine out sadly as Yin puts you down. 

“You are not allowed to mingle with the enemy, no matter how good their food is!” Jin starts lecturing you.

“Right, enemy, which is yours and not mine! I have no problem with them.” 

“Well, you work for us now so are enemies are yours! It’s just standard business etiquette.” Yin adds.

You roll your eyes and carry Almond who was on edge by the sudden kidnapping. Her small eyes glared at the two.

“Also, please don’t ever grab me like that ever again.” You firmly said, trying to be stern with the two demons.

“Then don’t run off and mingle with the enemy! You work for us now.”

“Against my will, which I might add. Also, you didn't even haven't told me what I'll be doing and if I'm getting paid or- at least have some food for some payment. New flash, I am currently homeless.” You gesture to your bag filled with your things.

“It isn’t aren’t fault you can’t don’t have a house!” Jin goes into the abandoned building. Yin waits behind you, making sure you enter the building and not run off. You and Almond give him a hard and cold glare while entering.

“No, but if I’m going to ‘working’ for you two then I would like some sort of payment.”

You walk around trying not to step on some loose sheets of paper and destroyed photos.

“This place is a mess…” 

“And this mess is our headquarters, where we come up with our evil schemes. So show some respect.” Yin was close behind you but gave you some space. “This is the place you’re going to working in.”

“Oh how nice…” You sat at the couch. “Well… I’m hungry and it would be nice if you get me something to eat.” 

“Nope, it’s time to work and you came in late.”

“Did not and no food means no work.”

Jin and Yin whisper to one another.

“What do you want to eat?” 

You think for a moment.

“Something warm, I been feeling cold all morning.”

“Well then, your first task is to clean this whole place up while we get something to eat.” 

You didn’t get a word in as they left.

“I guess, they didn’t like my comment.” 

Almonds huff and lays down on the couch. 

“I’m not liking your attitude.” You mutter softly and begin to clean.

“What was all that yelling earlier?” Pigsy comes out of the kitchen and placing a bag on the counter. Ready to be delivered. Tang shrugs, eating. MK puts the broom away and grabs the bag.

“It’s probably nothing, you know a lot of people are yelling and screaming about something.” MK stretches a bit.

“Kid, you okay? Never seen you this quiet. Usually, you're yapping about Monkey King or yesterday's training or something.” Pigsy leans onto the counter. Resting and trying to close the distance between him and MK. While Tang listens in.

“Oh, I guess I was really focusing on work today. Ever since the training with Monkey King it feels like I’m growing a lot.”

MK says jokingly. Pigsy rolls his eyes and chuckles.

“Well, fine, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Go back to work and deliver those noodles.” He shrugs it off and head back to the kitchen. Tang loudly slurps his noodles.

“You should relax more MK-“ 

“Like you?” 

Tang stares at MK, unamused.

“You make it sound like a bad thing. Imagine, sitting down with a bowl of delicious noodles and just relax.” 

“Cause you don’t have a job.” 

“Excuse you, I so do have a job!”

“Can’t hear you, I’m going to deliver noodles~” MK exits the small restaurant. His happy and carefree attitude immediately disappeared. As he stares down the street. It was faint but he could still feel that faint energy pulling him.

“Remember what he said MK, just stay out of her way. This has nothing to do with you.” He said to himself and went to the tuk-tuk.

You fall onto the couch exhausted.

“Almond, is this my life now? Am I really gonna work and clean for other people all my life now? Who knows what those two want me to do to pay their little fee, which I don’t even know how much… oh am I being played here?!” 

You shoot up and stare at the tiny dog. Almond ignored you and kept lying down.

“No Almond this is serious, how am I going to get out of this? Being nice will not cut it. I really don’t know what to do, what can I do?”

Almond continues to lie, already tired from your long rant when you were cleaning the entire place.

“Maybe I can get someone to scare them off…”

There was a long since when you trailed off. 

You realize you’re doing that a lot recently. Getting lost in thought. It was a nice change than have your head empty so you didn’t need to think about how trapped you felt in your previous life. However, it’s getting annoying on how quickly your head is being filled with questions and stress.

You lay back down on the couch and sigh.

“Or I can lay around here and boss those two around.” 

You smile and let yourself relax.

“You know what, let see what comes up first. Cause right now, I’m going to stop worrying about this, enjoy my time here and go as far away from me when she shows up.”

That’s right, why need to stress about something that isn’t going to be happening for a long while?

The front door slams opens. You jolt up and stare at the two demons entering. They inspect the room while holding a plastic bag. 

“Not bad but-“ Jin starts off while looking around. “Why did you just pile our stuff into one huge pile?!” He yells at you, annoyed and angry.

“Look I tried organizing what was… going all in those piles. It’s just you two have so much junk here, there’s absolutely no place for it! Don’t go getting mad at me here! I did my job!” You raise your voice, face scrunch up in annoyance. 

“You don’t raise your voice at us, we are your bosses!” Yin quickly adds.

“Against my will! If I had the choice I would never ever want you two as my bosses!” 

They loudly gasp, as Yin tries to stammer out a response.

“And after we got you breakfast!” Jin holds up the plastic bag to you. 

Okay, maybe they weren't too bad. You never had a boss buy you breakfast before.

“Why is it half empty?!” You shout at them.

“Look we may have gone a little hungry on our way back here.” Yin shrugs, not being too bothered by it.

“Anyway, aren't you humans supposed to see it half full?” Jin stares down at you.

“Unbelievable…” You mutter to yourself, inspecting the meal. It didn’t looked like they just grabbed some frozen dish meal and warmed it up. The small meal was freshly made. Even though you were extremely hungry, it didn’t mean you would trust whatever these two bring for you to eat. 

You gather a bit of courage and took a bite. 

“So you two bought this, right?” You asked and relieve that the food was made by someone who knows how to cook. The taste of the pork chop was went surprisingly well with the rice cake.

“Of course we did! We have some standards when it comes to stealing.” Yin crossed his arms, being slightly offended by your words.

You raise a brow at him, not one bit believing them. 

“At least you got me something to eat.” It was small, but at least you got something to eat. 

‘Focus on the positives, at least there’s been more positives than your old life.’

“So what exactly am I doing? Cause I’m not going to be doing something illegal.” You state, trying to stand your ground. Jin and Yin stares at you for a moment before leading you to the door.

“How do you feel about going on a trip with us?”

[maryellencarter]

yo tunglr how goest it

so! things keep Happening. i am like "i should make a post" and then things happen and i would need a whole additional post

so uh. where to start. i was in minnesota. i did not like minnesota. the social services are pretty damn solid but i did not know anybody except john and it was looking like a three year wait to get into housing, and i had to park a mile and a half away from the shelter because clearly letting homeless people park their cars next to the homeless shelter encourages them to remain homeless or something :P

and i have been trying for ten years to get back to the east coast, to the only place where i know more than one person in meatspace in the entire world. and then my tax refund came out to be Enough that i could afford to go to there. so i was like fuck it i will go to there

(can i afford to exist on the east coast? probably not. but i can't afford to exist anywhere that allows trans people. may as well be not affording to exist in a place where i have some sort of a network.)

so first i went to leia's and got a bunch of my stuff. mainly electronics and knitting. and then i came to here. i had arranged with a friend to use her address to receive mail and do laundry and shower and all those fun things you cannot do in a car. also i acquired some car-camping gadgets that plug into my car's cigarette lighter, such as an electric blanket.

(i even found out that my car has a 15amp cigarette lighter circuit like a semi truck, instead of a 10amp circuit like most passenger cars, so i can use a trucker's cookbox to heat up food! very exciting. still don't have an electric kettle but i saw a hopeful looking one at a truckstop, i'm just trying to pinch my pennies.)

anyway SO! got to friend's house. things went well for 2 nights. i successfully tested riding the metro and did not get the motion sickness. this was excellent news as i had to quit my last job in this area due to inability to arrive on time as i kept having to hop off metro and let my tummy settle

then friend's husband decided actually the plan that we thought had been cleared with him was Not okay, because he had managed to hear a totally different plan that only existed inside his head. (he does this. he has not managed to grasp that friend is against the palestinian genocide. they are both jewish so this is. a topic of regular conversation let us say)

so. i have been put up in a hotel for a week. very cozy. i just figured out how to use the coffee maker to make hot water for instant mashed potatoes. the week is running out but i have been looking into options.

so yesterday of course my phone had to go and fucking brick itself. (i think it was yesterday. time has been. somewhat. look i don't have a phone okay i can't exactly look at the date every five seconds as normal)

phone repair place gave me a free diagnosis, which was, the battery swoll up just enough to pop the back slightly open (it is not a phone that is supposed to open) and let water in and now the motherboard is ruined. it cannot be fixed

thank fuck i had picked up my electronics at leia's, thus i was able to communicate via ipad and laptop that this Had Happened. navigation is being *really goddamn hard* because i have to memorize directions from my wifi-only ipad before going out, and then somehow correlate them with very bad interstate signage (the only way i survived getting back from the phone repair place is that i'd been to an aldi in the same shopping center while my phone still worked)

i mean i could take transit but have you ever tried to take transit without a phone when transit maps are digital only

any fucking way. so then i went to the department of food stamps and all that stuff, to ask about assistance. the department told me i would have to be a resident in the county for nine months before i could even get into a shelter. also i got shuffled between several desks that were supposed to help me applicate for food stamps and medicaid before my name just... fell off the big monitor that showed all the people waiting and where they should go.

so my friend mara who is well connected in the local activism community began making Noises and we emailed a bunch of people. there is a place (nondenominational even! in minnesota you had your choice of the catholics, the "union gospel mission", or the sally army) that does free hot meals and helping applicate for shit and sometimes has charities come to give away free phones and so forth. sounds very much like the big central shelter and help center i was at in minnesota, except crucially not catholic.

(the catholics are better to deal with than the folks who require you to attend services in order to receive help. but they're still very... catholic about it.)

anyway that place says i can park there and not get towed, which is my largest concern. i have not actually gone to there yet because i did not feel like driving that far from my hotel with no gmaps until i have to. but it sounds extremely promising. i have some other emails to follow up on too but today i went and got one of my roughly-annual migraines so i was flat on my back in a dark room all day.

(at least the migraine had the decency to hit while i have a room and a bed and darkness all available. very polite of it. this has not been the case any time in the past six months and it has been a worry)

anyway i can't friggin get my lifeline provider (aka free government phone service for teh poors) to log me in on their website to look for a new phone without them being able to text my old phone, even though they offer me email verification and then just don't load the next page, so there is a solid nonzero chance i may lose this phone number. my contacts *should* be backed up to my gmail if i can get another android phone though.

so. uh. let's see. a new smartphone and service would run me close to $200 minimum. (i've been checking on a cheap service i had before becoming eligible for lifeline, which i was happy with. their very cheapest smartphone is like $114 on sale and their cheapest from a brand i've ever heard of, which i would strongly prefer, is a motorola running about $140 on sale. it's giant and clunky with a badly placed fingerprint reader but "able to get cellular service and run google maps therefrom" is my main priority right now.)

i have about $200 of my tax refund left in the bank. also i still need to buy gas. and some more food soon, i'm about down to canned chili (very edible cold in tortillas) and instant mashed potatoes (can make with cold water but they are significantly less delicious that way). and probably some other things i'm forgetting, and i haven't even started looking into the emissions test or my maryland ID and license plates. which i also wanted to budget about $200 for in case i have to pay excise tax for moving states like i did in minnesota (i don't know if i was supposed to or if the dmv fucked up). i forgot to ask if the one place does gas cards but i need to.

anyway i have to be out of my hotel room saturday morning so i am planning to spend tomorrow packing my shit back up and hauling it mostly down to my car. also i need another bath at some point. too much has been happening

sleeping in a bed has been very nice though. hadn't done that since august. i can sleep in my car and it's mostly comfortable but i'm fat and my steering wheel does not respect that

anyway. um. until more things explode i guess that is my update? jesus murphy. it's holy week and you can friggin tell. really bringing my catholic out. tomorrow is good friday and i definitely expect something more to explode. hell, my micro sd card was making noises about being corrupted and i was going to transfer stuff off it onto a new one via my computer and i haven't even started that yet because i've been so frazzled. it better not die along with jesus tomorrow, it's got all my music on it

[giggly-squiggily]

miss rey is having a sick day and she's gonna spend it sending you kny modern au christmas thoughts 😌 working in this goddamn elementary school has gotten me into the spirit for the first time in years and i need to embrace this while it lasts.

growing up sanemi never really got anything big for christmas, over the course of november he mostly necessities like new shoes when his old ones didn't fit anymore or a winter jacket and then on actual christmas day maybe a dvd or something handmade. it got a little better once he was old enough to do parttime jobs but even then he used most of his earnings to get something nice for his siblings. when it came to sanemi money was always tight and he was okay with that if it meant genya or the others could get something out of it. and when he got older and his friend group started to give each other christmas presents, the first time they'd come up to him like "we got you something" he'd be like "... why would you do that 🤨" - literally the second kanae hears that he never really got nice christmas presents you KNOW she's dedicating eight months of the year to plan something for him and it makes him cry every single time.

with tengen it's the same thing but sort of in the other direction. got everything he never wanted for christmas every year which was annoying and draining and just felt so detached and performative. the first time makio hands him a box with self made cookies and says "i'm sorry, i would've bought you something but i didn't find anything you'd like" he almost proposes on the spot because it just feels so great to have people actually put thought into their gifts for him and not just grab the shiniest looking thing from a shelf. (not that he doesn't love getting shiny things but only if it's a shiny thing that the person picked specifically because they thought he'd like it)

obanai is the grinch for exactly however long it takes him to discover that mitsuri loves christmas more than anything. once he's a bit more open to the idea he also discovers that it's actually fun to exchange gifts and spend time together during the holidays (who can blame him, he never had that prior to going to university) and he gets really into it. people are always surprised by his great gift giving skills but it really pays off to sit in the corner and listen in on conversations quietly, he really picks up on a lot of wishes that way and when december rolls around he just knows what everyone wants or needs. on their first christmas together mitsuri gives him a little scarf she made and says "so kaburamaru doesn't get sick" and obanai decides right then and there that christmas is his favorite holiday of the year. (ONLY christmas eve and christmas day though and ONLY for exchanging gifts and spending time together, all the blinking lights and santa merch and mariah carey can go to hell)

tanjiro is always all over the place during christmas time because there's just so much to do and so much to take care of and oh son of a monkey i have to go gift shopping and oh fudge what am i gonna cook and fiddlesticks i forgot to put the tree up and GOD FUCKING DAMNIT INOSUKE STOP EATING THE ADVENT WREATH - it's a lot. so on actual christmas day he's usually exhausted and his friends have to tie him to his seat so he doesn't continue to run around and try to do everything for everyone. he still loves it tho, he's always participating in social projects around that time as well and getting gifts for homeless people, children in poverty and volunteering to dress up and collect kids' wish lists in hospitals etc.

sabito on the other hand grew to despise christmas because of his job at the elementary school. it's just too much. all the music and all the glitter and the all the christmas shows he has to attend (and organize!), the baking and crafting and reading christmas stories and looking out so children don't burn themselves with the candles and putting up that dusty old tinsel that makes his eyes water and pretending that santa is real, christmas is the bane of his existence. of course he gets his loved ones some gifts and maybe goes out to eat with them but once that's done he immediately goes home and sleeps through til new year's eve. everybody knows not to say merry christmas until sabito has left because one time they all said it when they met up during the holidays and when they got to sabito he went "if i have to say that one more time i'm gonna kill each and every one of you and then myself" and now they just do it when he's not around.

that's all the thoughts i have for now, sorry for barging in with this long ass ask like that 💀 stay hydrated, i send you a fluffy blanket and a kiss on the forehead but with a mask so you don't catch my cough :3

Oh Rey! *hugs and brings all the healing vibes and tissues* I'm sorry you got sick; something about this season just brings all the germs! And lets go getting into the spirit of things! :D

IJKRKJERJEJKRJ AHHHHHHH THESE ARE FREAKING DELIGHTFUL! Sanemi prioritizing his siblings and necessities is such a canon thing he'd do; and Kanae making it her life's mission to give him a good christmas is so KJEJJREKJREJ She's the queen of gifting- she knows everyone's taste and preferences and while it takes a while to get any info out of him, she'll find him something special. He's always so touched by it and makes it a point to do the same for her- saving up to get her one of those nice hair ornaments or dedicating any free time he has to making her something from scratch. He is a jack of no trades, but the effort is there and seeing her genuinely love it is the best gift to him.

Oh my god YES! I feel like Tengen doesn't really like christmas all that much? Mainly like you said, gifts always felt draining and preformative and also, despite growing up in a large family, maybe it didn't feel like a loving home? (Going a little into his canon background there) Like- his family held christmas parties every year but gifts were more like bragging rights over their guests vs actual care and thoughtfulness. Christmas with the girls is so much more special to him cause everything feels like they really thought of one another. (Also Tengen liking shiny things makes me laugh- he's like a crow ajerkjajekraejrj)

KLJERKJLEJKLRJKERJ OBANAI HELP! Grinch 363 days a year- the last two it fades away, especially with Mitsuri. He's a gift giving god; rivaling Kanae with his observation skills and such. You know he's always dressing Kaburamaru in his little scarf during the colder months- even when it starts to get a little worn down. (Mitsuri makes it her new tradition to make him a scarf every year after that.) They'd be the couple sneaking kisses under the mistletoe throughout the party.

TANJIRO YES! He's a little busy bee running about during December; baking treats and keeping Inosuke off the advent wreath (that's freaking hilarious oh my god) and volunteering and just- all of it! Christmas rolls around and he's so tired he can't even keep his eyes open for a good few hours into the day. It's his little reward for working so hard; a nice break on the big day ajerjaejarj

Sabito hating christmas is a whole mood akjekjrakjejkrajkerja He might have liked it at one point, but after working at an elementary school and being overdosed with the holiday spirit he is so burned out jareajreajjaerjkeajr (NOT HIM QUOTING ROSE KLJWJRKEJRJEJR) Of course he's gonna keep the vibes up for the children and his love ones but when the day is done he's hibernating with a heated blanket ajkaerjae

Just to add on:

Akaza wins ugly christmas sweater every year; he has so many cause he unironically thinks they're cute (and they keep him nice and toasty during the cold months). He gets matching ones for his favorite/only nephew Rui; they take pictures every year and have a whole album dedicated to it.

Douma is a pro figure skater without the pro part; good luck keeping him off the ice this season, especially if you put on "Theme of King JJ"; he also sings christmas songs non-stop and while he has a nice voice and can carry a tune, there comes a time when someone's about to shout "STOP SINGING ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, IT'S FREAKING JANUARY!"

Zenitsu is absolutely the one to plan a trip to a warmer part of the world during winter; he cannot stand the cold whatsoever and saves up every year to escape for a week or two. If it happens to fall during Christmas, he facetimes everyone with a drink in hand on the beach wearing pineapple sunglasses he bought at the souvenir shop like the absolute tourist he is.

Thank you for sharing these, Rey! They are absolutely delightful! :3

[fuck-customers]

time to vent dump! <3 everyone at my job is so tired of one coworker of ours - he was "knighted" so he has a Sir suffix (something tells me that was something he got online and legit changed his name about it) and is an author of one book (we work at a gas station. he's very high and mighty about his book) i looked said book up and it's about a man and a woman who have almost the same name who date "so they can say their own names during sex" and the summary i read reeks of his personality, "i pretend to be so woke when really i'm a huge misogynist". such a big head on this guy's shoulders to start with.

he comes in to start his shift and immediately starts talking nonstop. mostly it is either complaints about customers, coworkers who aren't present, or music/media from his generation nobody cares about but insists are amazing and we should check them out. (really sticks out in my mind how he recommended that Lou Reed song about a boy being obsessed about his football coach. coworker seemed to think it was super progressive for the time bc it was talking about gay stuff when that's kinda overshadowed by the age difference element :/ )

he will talk over you, and it feels like if he's not talking about old media, he's talking about something negative (but of course he loves to complain about one of our female coworkers mentioning some tough things that are happening in her life right now. she's just SOOOO negative he says as he continues to shit talk everyone nonstop.)

at first i thought he'd be cool - when we first met he noticed my pronoun necklace and gendered me correctly like twice. (never did it again. we had a store meeting where my manager thought it'd be a great idea to single me out and tell everyone we need to work on getting my pronouns right. i don't think my manager meant ill will by it, he's trying to be supportive despite being ignorant of how everything trans works, but this douchey coworker tried to compare my gender neutral pronouns to his "sir" suffix and how "he didn't complain when people didn't call him sir" :/ that's.... that's really not comparable dude. everyone ignored him.)

today he was telling a story about a coworker and how badly she handled a situation with a deaf homeless person who sometimes comes to our store - when he finished, i tried to start telling a related story about how i passed notes back and forth with that deaf man a couple times and- that was as far as i got before he said "i don't give a flying fuck"

i've thought about it, and maybe he was saying, in context of the story, that he didn't give a fuck if the guy took some bananas while the coworker he was shit talking did care - but the way he delivered that line was so confusing, it really felt like he was telling me "i don't give a fuck about what you did or your story". in the moment i was stunned to silence, and tried later to rationalize it this way. i realized even if the former was the case, this coworker cared more about telling his story to shit talk our other coworker than he actually cared about the homeless person who was desperate for some food. it was more about opposing her than being generous or understanding with him. so when he tried to continue, i ignored him in favor of helping our other, newbie coworker, with his register.

i remember an old female coworker of mine told me he yelled at her to "never interrupt him when he's talking to a woman," which reeks of superiority and desperation lol

all in all he's just an unfriendly, disrespectful, self centered, unpleasant person who thinks his shit smells like roses. i feel bad whenever i clock out and leave one of my female coworkers with him for closing shift, although luckily i think he's bored by her and mostly leaves her alone unless he wants to bitch about something or talk about old media. he's always trying to crack jokes and they all are either bordering on the offensive or are just straight up not funny or both. i'm really sick of him and i can tell just about everyone else is too. i'm so so glad i only see him in passing, as he's a closer and i'm an opener, but the few minutes i have with him as i'm clocking out and gathering my things are just 8') a few minutes too many.

[cherienymphe]

My sister has a married (separated but they’re still pretending they’re together for the kids) man over and she’s gone an fucking waited for us all to go to sleep and she’s in the living room with him. It’s the second time she’s done this.

I want to cry. I know that sounds so ducking stupid because it’s none of my business but I literally haven’t sat on my sofa for months because of when she has him over the first time. I don’t want to sit on a sofa where they probably fucked. And like, I get up at the middle of the night for cereal most nights but I literally can’t now because they’re down there.

All I wanted to do is sleep but I can’t because there’s a man in my house who I’ve only met ONCE. It’s genuinely making me want to go and sleep in a hotel. I want to leave. I was trying to be a cockblocker and I was in the kitchen for ages pretending I couldn’t sleep, and she was just there watching me, texting him and laughing. (I know that’s bad, but tbf I was thirsty)

He’s a fucking scumbag (I pretend I find him okay but reality I fucking hate him). I know I need to work on myself because this is probably jealousy or some shit. Like I know this isn’t healthy for me. It’s not like any of what I’m typing right now my sister knows. She thinks I either 1. don’t know, or 2. that i’m fine with it.

She’s 35. She hasn’t got kids or a husband and I understand he’s the first person to be obsessed with her for years, but he’s already done the kids and marriage thing for 12 years so… Is he really looking for that again? I doubt it. I just don’t like that he’s making her wait, like you’re either with your wife or you’re not.

But at the end of the day it is NONE of my business. It’s just making me feel sick right now and I was planning on having a nice sleep but I have this problem where I literally cannot fall asleep when there’s other people in my house.

I know I sound deranged but she’s my only reason for living some days and when she’s ignoring me to text him constantly it’s literally so fucking soul sucking. I should probably move out but leaving my mom and my sister together is just recipe for trouble and if I moved out my mother would literally be homeless because she can’t pay for rent on her own. I’m the youngest (20) and always wanted to travel but I’m scared of leaving because I’m scared of coming back and being alone for the rest of my life. I don’t want my family to break apart.

Anyways, my GAWD that’s long. I’ll leave this here if you want to read it. I know you’re not a therapist lol so you don’t have to reply. Just had to rant because I haven’t got anyone to talk to. Okay, I’m going to either read gothic fiction or watch Buffy to distract me 💜

Hey I don't think you're wrong to be bothered by some strange man being in your house at all hours of the night. I get that everyone's family is different, but I wasn't raised in an environment like that so I too would be bothered. Yes, she has just as much right to the space as anyone else, but it's not solely her house. You have a right to feel comfortable too.

As for your sister, you have to let her make her own decisions/mistakes. While I personally don't think it's wrong for separated couples to see other people, it's almost always a recipe for mess when no one has officially filed for divorce. Are the chances pretty great that he and his wife will reconcile and leave your sister in the dust or maybe even a dirty little secret? Yeah probably but that's her problem not yours lol. Especially since she's way old enough to not be so dumb.

As for you...babes you're 20! I understand the pressure to make sure your family is alright, but you're telling me that if you leave and live your life, your fuckass 35 y/o sister can't keep the bills paid and help your mom out? At 20 y/o, I just don't think that's your responsibility. That's supposed to come when you're older and borderline decrepit and you have to help your mom to the bathroom in her old age 😭

I won't flat out tell you what to do bc it's your life and you're the one who has to live with your decisions but if I was in your shoes...ain't no way

[steddieyes]

Chapter Two of my Bryce fic: Another Chance To Fuck Up

(@Arlooh on ao3)

June 17th, i've worked so fucking hard to get back into this grey ass state and not even her bitche of a mom will let me talk. It's, not, FAIR. I only know that shes graduating because unique fucking monique and her excuse of a boyfriend have been yelling at each other outside the milkshake mania. I'm trying to sit at the fucking bus stop, not see a whore yell about how she gave her heart to him. Fuck that.

- 

Looking into the mirror of the thrift store changing room, he scans himself up and down, looking for any signs of "hey, I'm fucking poor, mind kicking my ass back to the penitentiary please?" as he forces himself to stand still and stop bouncing on the balls of his feet.

 He's fucking nervous. 

Wiping his hands down his jeans, giving himself a stern and harsh "whispered" talking to (he's been yelling into the mirror for 10 minutes, some employee as been asking him to leave for the better part of that, he won't) and fixing what makeup he has on, he turns and leaves the changing room. Giving a polite "Screw off, asshole!" and middle finger to the worker and swifly walking out without paying for a thing, only after sliding a sick pair of sunglasses off some dude waiting in line. 

-

But all that worry leads him to now, jumping a fence into the graduation event at 'Whatever the fuck' high school, so what if the entery was free, this is cool. 

The first thing he sees is probably the last person he wants to see, Tacky Tammy in the fucking flesh. And god, she looks worse than the last he seen her. That fucking bitch. 

Quickly avoiding that mess, he runs off to the right where he can hear people chatting, yelling, the typical American slang, and to behind the bleachers where he can finally fucking breath. He's only been up a few hours and yet it feels like hes been up for days, all the while having the energy to fight the thing people call god. "Where ever that old bastard is, he sure had a shit plan for me" he hisses as he lights up the last cigarette he's got, stole it from some homeless guy lastnight and yet it doesn’t make him feel any better about it. 

But blasting speakers, which are WAY to fucking loud mind you, go off right by my fucking ear "Five minutes till showtime everyone! I hope you've got your disposables ready! And no /flash/ please, thank you" God. Fucker sound like an asshole to be around, fucks he got to be so stern for. And why the fuck would someone flash the crowd at a high school. This isn't the big bang, we don't need to see that you bleached your ass, Marissa. But shit, 5 minites till showtime. And I was calling it that before grandpa over he did anyways..

He can barely see through the crowd of green gowns and capes to even see the stage from here, it takes him all of 5 minutes to climb out of the prison that is bleachers pressed to a wire fence. Good thing he's scrawny of else he wouldn’t have been able to get out in time to see the show that is Bryce Tankthrust. Fuck. To think that he ever hated her for what happened. All the hate he'd ever bared for Bryce washes away in a second at seeing her up on that stage, when did she straighten her hair? Whatever.

She looks fucking /good/, greens definitely my favorite coulor. Fuck, she can take green if it means he can see her like she is now. Even in a graduation gown. 

And for the first time in a long time, he smiles. Bobby smiles because fuck is he happy. He didn’t /mean/ to look like a smug bastard, even if he is. He's just happy. But nothing ever goes right for him does it. Bryce looked at him, right in the eye, could you belive that? But he just smiled back, but not when her prideful smile turned down and into shock. He hasn't seen that face since.. since he threw up all over her heart, the one that she took out for him to profess her love. Fuck. Shit, SHIT. 

He hasn't ran that fast in, ever. The second he seen Bryce drop, clutching where her heart is (right?) fuck, did he really do that much damage? He didn’t think it was /that/ bad, he just wanted to surprise Bryce after escaping and... he just ran through that crowd. Over the people who were starting to pile up on the stage, he didn’t give a /fuck/ if he got sent back now or to some place worse for doing what he did and all but growling for security to get off her, Bryce was fucking hurt and it was all his fault.

[amigac0debasic13]

inhaling so heavily so so heavily,, hey guys its me im back. ninjago. This is just a huge rant about me HATING how trauma is handled in this show. ignore this if you do not want to see my HORRORS.

WHY. IS TRAUMA NOT A FUCKING THING IN THIS STUPID ASS SHOW. Im on another rewatch because im FUCKING INSANE but it drives me actually mad that there are so many downright horrific things that happen to these characters that are just NEVER addressed. lets talkabout the fucking first one that caught my eye when I was first watching the show!!! Im basically going from least infuriating to most infuriating, im trying to cut this show some slack but dear god. !!WHY IS COLE OKAY MAN. HE LITERALLY DIEEED. HE TURNED INTO A GHOST. listen Iknow ninjago death means nothing, and im going to talk about that too but he literally could have ceased to exist if he so much as touched water. after he got his body back, why was this never FUCKING mentioned. I think. if I was in a perpetual state of being horrified my existence would amount to nothing and id just stop BEING when I touched some clear shit coming out of my sink id be pretty scarred for life. I loved possession man, but this happened to TWO CHARACTERS. TWOOO. AND THE OTHER CHARACTER IS LLOYD. lets not even MENTION that hes been exploited the moment everyone found out he was a green ninja, and before that a bunch of grown ass people were bullying a CHILD WHO IS ACTUALLY HOMELESS, lets talk about how his fucking body was taken over by Morro while he ALSO worries about his DAD BEING STUCK IN THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD. IM LOSING IT. IM LOSSINGG ITT. On a smaller note, MISAKO ABANDONED LLOYD. KILL HER. I am the hashtag misako hater garmadon deserves better. The show made no attempt for them to bond or try to make amends for what happened when Lloyd was a kid, she barely appears at all really and it just makes me fucking despise her. ALSO MORRO. this kid. reminding you, CHILD, fucking died in a cave. the cave we SAW in the pilot, if i remember right which is FUCKING INSANE>,,?? we SEE HIS SKELETON. THAT IS A CHILDS SKELETON. never mentioned again after episode 8 I don't think. now the MEAT. THE MEATT. whatever the FUCK went on with garmadon after he got resurrected. They actually did cover this a bit with how Lloyd acted around garmadon, but crystalized also sucked ass and really gave us nothing on how Garmadon felt about this. on god im so sick that hes so normal shaped in crystalized too, He was literally growling with every breath in sons of garmadon why is he normal now. Its been years, i get it. also the Garmadon comic. but he SHOULDNT be a normal person whos just an asshole, I want him to be feral okay?? ok??? I am playfully gesturing to Devils Horns by TeuthidaRegina (did i spell that right. idk man. Its a super fucking good fanfic.)

ALSO Vinnys apartment is very inaccurate there should be scratch marks on the walls and then they should kiss. ANYWAYS Besides this, Lloyd being mad at Garmadon was really all we got for how *he* was effected by his once loving father now randomly coming back with his ribs exposed and only being able to say like. 3 words. and also him immediately trying to kill Lloyd. I feel like we should have gotten a LOT more man. Now this isn't really a problem with the show (Its a huge problem in crystalized but that's a given) but more a problem with the fandom, so that's why I'm putting it at the end. this does not hold relevancy over garmadon becoming a BEAST. (also garmadon becoming a beast is the best thing that ever happened in this show btw. you all are wrong and he should have been animalistic from the beginning. still nice. but he should have also growled. all the time.) My issue is with how people portray harumi. I already had my Harumi spout in a post I made earlier, but I only mentioned the toxicity of the ship with her and Lloyd a little bit. Let us THINK BACK on how she literally feels nothing for Lloyd at all. He was a stepping stone in getting Garmadon back, and she probably straight up hates him. She pretends to like him to manipulate him into helping her resurrect garmadon ok?? do we understand?? Ive seen actual tags on AO3 that say "no harumi hate here" and I am so done. all the harumi hate. dont FUCKING talk to me if you want to justify the downright horrendous things shes done. That ship is toxic as hell and Lloyd is downright being abused AGAIN for like the FIVE BILLIONTH TIME IN HIS LIFE. I dont care man. shes an abusive bitch. i HATE HER. Crystalized made the worst fucking decision trying to justify her and I genuinely hate whoever thought that was a good and right decision to make. If she comes back in dragons rising i hope she dies AGAIN, but Im honestly rooting for them to ignore crystalized's existence. Now finally, this is the absolute peak of how Ninjago shittily handles trauma. the ICE EMPEROR. Zane was stuck in a fucking hellscape of a realm for like. what was it. EIGHTY YEARS??? he went fucking mad man, he turned into a bloodthirsty tyrant during that time. and when this seasons conflict was fixed with the "power of friendship" the show literally mentions that the ice emperor is STILL INSIDE ZANES NOGGIN. AND WHAT DOTHEY DOO?? THEY MAKE IT INTO A FUCKING JOKE. its honestly almost disgusting to me how they handled it, Zane has DIED BEFORE. that's bad. he should have trauma. BUT Zane LITERALLY HAS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT. ACTUALLY. HE SHOULD HAVE SOME RELUCTANCE TO USING HIS POWERS OR SOMETHING, ANYTHING MAN. HE KILLLED AN ENTIRE RACEE. Genuinely this is one of my favorite shows, and I love adding onto the shaky ass plot and making it better, but I cannot DEAL with this. Im going to throw in the shit that happened in the spinjitzu brothers book, because oh my god Wu and Garmadon should be fucked up with all the stuff they have had to deal with for like. 5 thousand years. but its fine. its okay. its the book series. I wont mention it. (that book series is so good please release the final book please) ((I LOVE wu and garmadon they are some of my favorite characters in the ENTIRE series im blinking my eyes at you. please go indepth on those two. also give Wu a dragon form, or an Oni form, or literally anything he IS NOT HUMAN.) Also if anyone tells me im ignoring skybound its because I do not need to say anything about skybound. we all know what happened. we ALLL know what the fuck they did to Nya. and fucking. mister possibly a pedo creep man who does not care about consent. I dont even remember his name thats how bad I hate him .

[dollsonmain]

So, I have met a small handful of That Guy’s work friends now.

It’s interesting to see how different a person he is around each other person or group of people. He is a completely different That Guy around different people and I hate that because THEY get his Good That Guy or his fun, energetic, caring That Guy while Son and I get asshole babyman That Guy who makes our lives miserable.

When it’s Josh (Interrupting Cow) and Danielle, he’s energetic and openly, loudly bigoted because Danielle responds with loud, vicious agreement and laughter. That desired approval.

When That Guy says something cruel like that he has this specific laugh (HNhnhNHnhnHnHNHnhnHnh) so you know that he knows he’s being an asshole and enjoying it.

Homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, mocking the poor, homeless, and sick, etc. I can’t write out exactly what kinds of things they say because my brain remembers the emotion those words evoked and not the words themselves which I know is useless.

Danielle is my least favorite so far and I’m glad she’s overseas for the time being. She’ll be back in 2 years I think. If I’m lucky, she’ll go somewhere else rather than coming back to this area and I’ll never have to see her again.

-

When it’s just Josh both Josh and that Guy are quieter, but they’ll both throw out the occasional bigoted comment that gets my hackles up.

They also both get drunk.

I’m tolerant of Josh. I don’t particularly like him but don’t feel like “I want him to leave” when he’s here without Danielle.

-

Nick and Alexis (married) have been over twice, now, and That Guy is on his best behavior for Alexis (she’s His Type and watching him try to garner her favor with both me and her husband in the room is awkward to say the least), but if Alexis leaves the room (assuming I’m also not in the room/where they can’t see me) both That Guy and Nick start in being dicks, and stop when she comes back.

Nick also keeps ragging on Alexis and seems to take joy in pointing out her flaws and mistakes, usually starting with “HER problem is...” which makes me not like Nick.

I get a feeling that he’s hiding his true self when either she or I are nearby.

-

With JD he was nerd man and a little bit of a dick to Son, but not bigoted man.

JD got super comfy awkwardly fast but that honestly doesn’t bother me. I prefer that to the whole walking on eggshells thing we do when around new people. He also occasionally made the weirdest sounds when excited. It was really funny and also made it easier for me to be comfortable around him. He may be neurospicy.

It was, I keep saying interesting but that’s probably the best word for it, interesting to see That Guy bring a black friend over and treat him just fine while being racist and bigoted around his white friends.

What the fuck is that.

He also lied to JD at least twice while I was standing there, in ways that would make him look, I don’t know, “better” than the truth?

First lie he was recounting the One Chip Challenge story and said that he got very sick, asked for help from coworkers, was given tums and water, and eventually got over it and got back to work when the truth was that he ended up in the hospital overnight, which I pointed out.

Second lie was when JD asked me if I was pro- or against- That Guy cutting his hair and when I was trying to say that I really didn’t care and wanted That Guy to choose because it’s HIS hair, That Guy said that he cut it himself.

He did not cut it himself, he whacked at it randomly with scissors out on the deck until I went out there, saw the mess he had made of himself, and offered to take over. I pointed out that one, too.

[lostnfounder]

The following is a transcript of the interview that took place between Lostfield Gazette journalist Ruth Shirbon and Lostfield resident, Chad Ellis “Fuckface” Ollaman.

 

R: Alright, let’s just get this over with. 

C: Rooroo! It’s been soooo long!

R: Are- Are you drunk?!

C: [made this exact expression at me: ‘:D’. I hate this guy]

R: Ughhhh. Profoundly professional, Chad. I expect nothing less. 

C: Awwwweee. Thank youuuu. I was hoping that since highschool you would have matured to my level, and whaddya know!

R: Wh- Says the guy that thought Showfall was harboring sci-fi robots and cassette tape monsters. You made all of that up while you were high, didn’t you?

C: Ohhhh, my god, don’t bring that up. I’m over the STS, Rooroo. Why haven’t you moved on yet? Showfall’s cool. They, like, gave a bunch of toys to homeless kids- [belch]- last year.

R: Likely possessed toys! They were all those creepyass Squiggles Furby crossover horrowshows. And I am over the Showfall Theorist Society, alright? That club only ever had three members--I’m not a highschooler anymore. 

C: Right. ‘Cause you dropped out.

R: Shut up.

C: [smirking] My parents are sending me to NYU.

R: Oh, profoundly mature-

C: Hey, calm dowwwwn, bro, it’s a joke, chill. God. I just think, hey, maybe it’s time Detective Gal gets her life in order, stops chasing the biggest multi-media company in the world and, I dunno. Maybe tries leaving town for onc-

R: NEVER. 

C: Okay, yeesh! Touching nerves, I guess.

R: What you’re touching are live wires. Don’t pry into my personal life, and you won’t get shocked.

C: Yooooo. That was a sick one-liner- [belch]- bro! Can I, like, write that down, actually?

R: That’s it. I’m done.

C: Wh- Wait, what?

R: I’m leaving. It was nice talking to you, Chad, no, really.

C: Wait, you- Weren’t you supposed to ask me about the fucking racoon that got in here? It stole my dad’s limited edition Russian caviar! Dude! Dude!

[door slam]

R: God, I hate that guy. Wait, shoot, this is still-

[symptoms-syndrome]

Normally I'd preface this with a lot of "people who experience this are valid" kind of disclaimer but my therapist is urging me to do that sort of thing less and just be upfront. So I'm going to do that.

I'm honestly really, really tired of a lot of the conversations, online and offline (though those lines are more blurred now) surrounding mental health and illness being about how "you can't always tell." Stuff about how you notice it more than others and stuff like that. "You're valid if you're struggling in silence" or "x isn't meant to support or notice people with issues" or whatever whatever, talk about people being passed over and people not noticing or whatever kind of "validity" talk.

I've been, to some degree, objectively noticably fucked up for a very, very long time. I've been going to a therapist since I was six years old. I started Special Education in elementary school with gradually increasing intervention, and was sent to a separate special education school for most of high school. As far as I know I didn't get clear diagnoses (or they weren't shared with me) until middle school (when I got diagnosed with PTSD + depression, with some other diagnoses soon to follow) but even without clinical labels school staff, as well as my classmates, knew there was something wrong with me. A lot of the time other people knew there was something wrong with me before I knew it myself. I've been to a lot of therapists. A lot of partials. A fair amount of inpatient. "At risk" programs for "at risk/troubled" kids. I've been dropped from therapists for being "too much" or "untreatable." One I remember meeting for an intake appointment, and he told me to my face that my trauma was far too much for him.

Rarely ever do I see people talk about that sort of experience. I feel really alienated and sidelined by a lot of bigger conversations because I'm one of "those people." There's an implicit message of "it's okay if you're not one of those crazy retard sped kids" but what if I am. What if I am the kind of kid that even the kids with real bad depression or ADHD or whatever side-eye. My college counselor deleted all the colleges I said I wanted transcripts sent to (I had very good grades, the best I could do with my extremely limited access to mainstream school) in front of me because she said I shouldn't set my hopes high and "people like me" usually go for a trade instead. I got accepted to one of the best when I went around her and submitted the transcripts myself. Even if I wasn't able to go in the end because of homelessness.

There's such a unique trauma to being constantly under the examination of professionals. Like I'm squished under a microscope slide at best and discarded as a "someone else will deal with that, I can't" at worst. And then sort of loosely thrown into the "real world" which is quite the culture shock when you're used to your every move being highly controlled and needing authorization and permission and all that shit to do anything. But there's this weird dichotomy of being watched and controlled at every moment while also having no one give a shit about you. I'm sick of hearing only shit about how no one can tell you're mentally ill and how that's sooo hard and they wish they were more visible. No you don't. If you knew you would know it fucking sucks. And everyone hates you for being so visibly fucked because you're a bad mark on their program or whatever so they just send you off to someone else or just give up on you altogether. And now I gotta pick up all the pieces by myself and figure out how much of what I'm fucked up with is what I was told and how much is real. The people in charge of making me better just fucked me up.