#that one hit especially close to home
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As someone who once had their art stolen by a mutual who has many times more followers than me and I only found out because I happened to click on her ig stories on the right day,
Get his ass.
#so yeah I can empathize with the writers and artists who had their work stolen by James#especially the one who found out through his patreon because she supported him on there#that one hit especially close to home#there’s no feeling like going out of your way to support the work of someone who you want to succeed#only to find out they plagiarized from you specifically#and the worst part is that my art was a drawing that she used as the base for an embroidery project#and I would have let her use it if she had just ASKED AND CREDITED ME#and I had only posted it days earlier so it’s not like she could have already forgotten who posted it#but nope#instead she just swiped it and hoped I wouldn’t see#and I can’t even say anything in fear of her fans dogpiling me since she’s sent them after other people before#welp.#james somerton#hbomberguy#why are you booing me i’m right
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theres a Couple of people reblogging a fair amount of old posts of mine tagged with "#disk horse /" and i assume it's just because i said some hastily-written angry things and they wanna make sure they know what i'm saying and that i'm not secretly meaning a completely different obfuscated thing, which is a totally understandable thing to check.
but i cant help but imagine someone trying to dig up dirt on me and going "damn these opinions fuck actually"
#unfortunately that is my catch all tag so if u wanna check my opinions of trans women#youre gonna get a lot of stupid fandom bullshit too#i'll save you the trouble tho:#trans women are one of the most vulnerable groups out there. especially in the uk right now.#my annoyance at online bullshit does not diminish that in any way and honestly should not even be in the same discussion.#i tend not to post about real world issues much because it hits too close to home for a lot of people#but i recognize that all this cliquey tumblr shit is...nothing. it doesn't really matter.
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I've discussed with my friends how genius it was to input the recurring theme of "finding and employing true will" in a turn-based RPG where everything is all laid out for the player, but it's another level of insight entirely to have the concept of freedom of choice integrated in almost every major plot point thus far - from the main character's journey of making their own choices despite being brought into existence basically with a predetermined script in mind, belobog's journey towards resisting the eternal freeze to combating it after centuries, firefly's life with a disability and her struggle to push forth nonetheless, to Sunday's whole dilemma on whether futility is all that is left in attempts to protect the weak.
Different as all these plot points and more may be, they all share one thing is common which serves as the very core of a game whose gameplay design limits the very player to only a few options per turn: What choices will you make to fight against what is fated?
#this is probably one of my favorite themes of all time in vid games because it really does hit close to home#but i really do like how it is integrated in hsr#because the concept of choice amidst predetermined fate#is tied and intertwined with the lives of almost all that we meet#ESPECIALLY IN PENACONY: LAND OF THE DREAMERS#cAUSE DAMNNNN#basically i'm really digging into all the sunday philosophy yappy talk#i'm really enjooying hsr penacony is my favorite region and my favorite plotline#because damn they took care of their main theme here#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#hsr penacony#belobog#hsr firefly#hsr sunday
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realizing that, as someone who is aro/ace, i dont feel overjoyed when seeing confirmed aro/ace characters in media because of the inherit loneliness one may feel from this identity and not wanting characters I adore to have to feel such a way. love representation, very hard to face them when its a deep part of your own insecurity and it scares you.
#might be maybe is definitely something I realized through riz gukgak#everyone is so vocal about wanting him to come out officially and how basically canon it is that hes aro ace#and I was unsure why I had a hard time with this when i've never shied away from it before#especially not with queer stuff or even insecurities#Ive always whooped and hollared at any representation#i just realized this one hit too close to home#with issues i have today and will probably fight my whole life#I WANT a relationship I think. I want to love. I cant.#when all of my dearest friends find love#will I even fit into their lives anymore like i used to#anyways sorry little guy im sure your friends would be there for you#fantasy high#question mark? i mean it was what spurred this on
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Well, hats off to Dead Friend Forever for really improving episode by episode, because Tee's storyline in episode 11 was absolutely heartbreaking. He went from a character I didn't give a damn about to a character I feel deeply conflicted about. On one hand, there are the truly horrible things he has done. On the other, there are the horrifying circumstances he was forced to cope with - things that no one should have to cope with, let alone when they're young, alone and extremely vulnerable.
It's easy to say "oh surely he had other options", but how many of us would have actually done much better in his shoes?
#dead friend forever#dff the series#dff#dead friend forever the series#tee dff#I think this episode hit especially close to home because of one particular detail#namely that I too got my first gray hair when caring for my dying parents at a relatively young age
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this is just a pran parakul is amazing and wonderful and i love him so much and always will post
#neurodivergent gay son of mine#he's so real so unique such a baby soo aghhhhh#PAT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM LIKE 1000% AGREE#am i making this as a response to certain comments? maybe :)#but a pran positivity post is never wrong especially now :))))#also as a neurodivergent person let me say how sometimes some characters hit so close at home#and it's so good and healing#and pran is one of them#pran parakul siridechawat#pran parakul#bad buddy
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Deborah Ann Woll is finally gonna be on the Real Ones?? oh i will not be normal about this one bit
#especially with the promo reel hitting so close to home already wow#deborah ann woll#real ones#jon bernthal#daredevil#the punisher#ramblings
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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chest dysphoria core
#chest dysphoria#especially as someone who can’t bind for medical reasons#shit hits too close to home#shoutout to magritte ig#rene magritte#if anyone knows anything else about this I would love to know more#for context I got this from “Dress Needs by Kate Soper#as published in a book called Body Dressing#not a bad read tbh#granted this is chapter one but still#trans masc#trans man#trans ftm#trans ftnb#should I cw this#it’s an illustration
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i just finished taash's personal quest and i'm 🫠😭
#there's spoilers in these tags btw#datv spoilers#that SCREAM. SO GOOD#that really hit close to home!#i've done a scream like that! taash's va did such a good job with embodying that hurt#i'm glad this game came out now instead of a few years ago#if i'd done this quest shortly after losing my mother i think i would have walked into the sea#i feel so strongly for taash but especially given everything i've gone through#losing a parent sucks. it SUCKS#this quest hurts so much but it really has just made me love taash more i think#but i feel terrible they had to go through that. no one deserves that#parent death mention
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This morning, my therapist called me to let me know she's setting up her own practice via telehealth (which is what we were using Anyways) & asked me whether I'd want to follow her there. She still has to set stuff up with insurance stuff But her out of pocket stuff is like HALF what I've been paying out of pocket for the company she was in. So I was like, Hell Yeah let's do it
So im gonna keep up with appointments, maybe once a month or so, just so I have the accountability + the ability to ramble about what I've achieved. Bc that's been rly nice for me. I'll have my therapist back!!!! And better than ever, if only because I have to pay so much less for it 😂😂😂
And ALSO, today I put in my course request for the orchestra into the form. So different from just two weeks ago, where I was practically begging to be given a chance to audition. I was sitting in the same spot of the lobby even, but putting in my official orchestra request instead of sending an email as I vibrated in hope and anxiety. I Got It tho. And the class won't even be that late in the day. It's really exciting.
#speculation nation#also general bonding with friends etc etc. very nice.#it's like. my day took a real turn for the better. my gender communication class was covering relationships today#including abusive relationships and how people express love.#the abusive relationships one had me like. actively a little uncomfortable hfkshfkd not like it was BAD bc it's important to teach the signs#but especially when it came to the Volatility sign i was just like. yup. uh huh. yeah. yup. hfksbfmsbc#because it. hit Real close to home for That One shitty relationship way back when#most days i forget i was in an abusive relationship And Then I Remember.........#anyways thankfully we didn't have a discussion over that. but we Did have a discussion over how often we say 'i love you'#professor was asking for a numerical estimate. and some people were saying like 5 or 6 times a day#meanwhile me realizing i only ever really say that to family (human-wise). and i only see or talk to family every so often.#but i say it a lot to my cats. a Lot. theyre my babies. i love them so much.#so i got kind of stressed and overwhelmed thinking about how the most i say is like 'ilu' but only to like one friend and only rarely.#even in romantic relationships i havent said it for the most part. bc it's mostly not been true and i Dont Like To Lie.#so i got to thinking about Why and had a thing of 'am i heartless??' etc etc. but i think i really am emotionally distant#which i think stems from the fact that i dont trust much of Anyone to be in my life long-term besides family#and the only non family i feel comfortable Sometimes saying this kind of thing to is someone ive been friends with for nearly 8 years now.#so i guess i trust that theyll be here longterm. so i feel less anxiety about expressing it.#my friends told me that they see i still care tho in the ways i act and try to take care of them.#so. not heartless. i just struggle with telling people how i feel.#hfmahfmshfms so yeah bit of a weird day but it got better!!!! and now i am. chilling.#gonna play more sims 2. yes.#abuse ment/
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I've got two family events coming up during term time and I'm trying to decide if the trips are worth the cost by asking if my family is actually going to be attending them and my mum's response was 'I might be able to convince your dad if we know you're going :)' girl I'm not spending nearly £60 just to come down for the weekend only to then find out I'm going by myself
#+Extra#travel tag#one of my cousins has a babyshower coming up in may on a Sunday when i have class on Monday#i already know my mum isnt intending to go to that one and my aunt that lives in between me and them also isnt going so i cant go with them#its the most inconvenient of the two and i have to be home a week after so ive declined that one#but another cousin recently announced an engagement/housing warming party weekend at the end of april#and when my mum told me about it i asked if she was going so i knew whether or not to look into tickets#and she hit me with the 'might go if you do :)' girl im not risking £60 on a maybe especially cus getting there will be a nightmare#its not all the way down south with the rest of my family so its technically closer but if im travelling there i need to know#whether to come early and go all the way home so i can arrive with my family on the day or travel down the day of & get there a little late#in the day in the city where its happening and figure out how to get to the event by myself and sort out getting ready and everything#or like to not bother what so ever and theres no guarantee which day theyll go cus its both Saturday and/or Sunday#ideally id only go Saturday cus i got class first thing monday but i also dont wanna be there by myself#im not close with my cousins and my dad doesnt get along with my mums side of the family so its highly likely id be there by myself#which i absolutely do not want especially if im getting there late cus of relying on public transport#edit: itll cost between £50-£120 to travel o.o depending on how i travel#if i get the train the whole way cus its quicker and times are more convenient itll cost £120 for a return for a 3 hour trip#or i could spend £40ish to get there by train then £10 on an overnight coach back#which is cheaper than the £60ish it would cost to get coaches both ways and the travel times for coaches were ridiculous#but jesus christ 🤦♀️
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i’ve read a lot of heart wrenching, angsty fan fiction in my life but the way that it took me this long to find a certain kind of angst that i can’t handle to the point where i literally had to close the tab
#stumbled upon some fanfics about yuji’s last nights before being executed#yeah i can’t do it#hurt no comfort is my favorite but this one hits too close to home#can’t deal with goodbyes especially when they’re final like that#makes me think too much about when i’ve had to do it and make up hypothetical things#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuji#yuji itadori
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Which rage language are you?
Men, raise the drawbridge
When you're angry, all your defenses go up. The unfortunate person or thing that managed to piss you off is suddenly talking to a wall. On the inside, you're screaming and crying and cussing them out, but somehow you can't express it. You're blank. emotionless. To anyone's knowledge, you could be zoning out of a lecture. Because of this, it's hard to express how you're feeling when the person asks for your thoughts. You've choked your feelings down, and they won't come back up.
Tagged by: @brokentoys (thank you wikia ♡) Tagging: Whoever would like to do it?
#🌈 || dashboard games#🌈 || memes#O-oouh ;u;#This hit a little close to home haha...#Khare is ABSOLUTELY this asdfghjkl#It can be hard to tell when she's angry because she so rarely is#She does zone out a lot in general so when she is mad it's tough to tell#She struggles to express many things but pure rage is just -locked-#She will not forget and she will not forgive#Okay she might forget eventually but ASDFGHJKL#Mmm good soup right dere 👌#Okay but hear me out for a sec#This is eerily close to something I discussed with Holly#When Khare is experiencing heightened emotions and especially negative ones like fear she's just... 😐#Anger would be the same#Most stoic expression ever as she sizes up whether or not it's worth clubbing somebody's head in or not
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kind of fun seeing people say they like frostpaws arc so far apart from her crushing on splashtail when imo that whole dynamic is fascinating to me IM ADDITION to what she already has going on
#all those little hints that hes just using her for his own gain and finds her to be a useful annoyance#the hawkfrost and mothwing parallels too#idk its one of Those character dynamics that hits a little close to home for me personally#kinda same with the hawkfrost ivypool stuff in oots#idk its a whole thing and i hope they keep doing interesting things with them especially considering that he possibly planned that murder#attempt#But Does She Know?#we dont even know if she survives yet lol
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just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo
#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship#bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that#then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing#talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33#flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am#I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every#single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time#just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic#routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3#we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i#cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so#I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car#like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are…#OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him#when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends#ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p#*#personal#heartshapedtrap#can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3#omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian#still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow
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