#that might be the problem isnt it. god dammit
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echo-s-land · 1 year ago
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My parents: *clearly has some doubts as to whether I'm straight*
Also my parents: You're the only one we can put our hopes in to have grandchildren one day. (but if you don't want them, don't have them. We'll just keep hoping.)
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our-lady-of-mcr · 8 months ago
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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spearxwind · 1 year ago
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been thinking a lot about my different oc worlds recently. ive said before ive got four, but technically it's five if you count extinction.
im gonna put all my thoughts under a readmore bc once again this got insanely long jkllkjjkf. i be rambling
most of my attention has definitely been going into challenger deep the past year (and will likely continue), recently i refurbished hollowridge as well and have had a lot of fun with it (even if i havent drawn much to show for it...)
the other two of the set of four i originally posted about are my agony drive and broken horizon settings. Broken horizon is more of a personal headworld where ive set my dragon ocs, but I have not really been successful with it in terms of like. worldbuilding and crafting a story for it, mostly because there are very few characters in it currently and i struggle with it. But it's the world where cercerion and my sona dima (as an oc) exist. i would love to actually do a better job with it sometime but it currently isnt a huge priority because ive been focused on the other two main ones (but again since its just a personal headworld it literally is just some place i like to mentally hang out and fly around in, im not super bothered by it being undeveloped.)
However we have the two troublemaker worlds now
the agony drive setting has been driving me more than a little nuts because of its whole situation with it. i absolutely adore the characters i have in it, but i have no idea what to do with the world itself. it used to be a joint project so i was extremely limited in the way i could develop it bc i depended on the other individual enjoying the ideas and i did my best to keep it afloat almost being the sole contributor to it, so now that its liberated i just didnt know what to do with it. i do like a bunch of the lore bits i came up with but some part of me is like 'idk if i enjoy this as a world' bc it still feels limited in some way? Another issue is that while hollowridge (previously my horror and slapstick gore setting with demons/angels/magic vibes) was dead in the water, i channeled that violence slapstick demon/magic vibe through TAD, but getting a focus back on hollowridge has kinda just. straight up deleted a bunch of TAD's reason to exist? i dont know if that makes sense
HR isnt really that much slapstick violence because death is final, and TAD is more cartoony in that sense bc death ISNT final which is its main reason to exist (unlimited violent major character death for the funnies), but theres a weird overlap that is keeping me from focusing correctly because it makes my brain go 'you are doing the same thing twice'
I would really really love to actually turn it into something fun and unique (separate from my other worlds) but i really havent been sure how to go about it because of that overlap. i genuinely think its just a problem of 'you have to actually develop the setting to have fun in it' and i just havent been able to do that yet bc i cant decide what i want it to BE. TAD has also never really had a lot of story to begin with so it makes things harder bc the story is the vehicle to explore the world with. its pretty frustrating bc midas set and david are some of my fav ocs ive made and i miss them but god dammit if it isnt hard to actually work with the whole thing....
and last but not least... the fifth one. extinction. a lot of you probably know this one from my comic. if youve been here since like... 2014-2015 (which would be insane) you might remember me beginning to develop that story until it eventually became the comic that is currently sitting unfinished and feels like a huge weight on my shoulders just out of sheer shame
the issue with extinction is that it was a lot of characters that i deeply loved (and still i still deeply love!!) all with fun plotlines, backstories, and a lot of fun tidbits to em that i ended up bending and breaking dozens of times just for the purpose of fitting them into a relatively short story that i could draw out and finish. and more importantly into something i hoped would be handleable instead of spiralling out of control like it had happened before
but what i didnt realize is that by doing so, i "locked" their lore in place into these very small boxes that would fit into a story, and thus i would remove what i had loved about those characters and their interactions that i had come up with years and years ago and a lot of my very very cool ideas for them simply went out the window in favor of .... well i dont. know. but off it went
i live in complete shame for not being able to finish the comic. it genuinely is a huge and extremely heavy weight on my shoulders and this whole thing has prevented me from even thinking of said ocs for years now even though they are some of my oldest and most beloved. saying all of this is not something i take lightly in the least as well
so recently I have been thinking about bringing them back as well... maybe (to the extent that i can... i have a lot of ocs and you guys know i have a lot of bias when drawing faves. so i cant guarantee content but at least i would be able to think about them again).
essentially the same way that i rewrote and got back my old concepts for hollowridge that slapped hard i want to get back my original ideas for extinction that i thought were really cool and just wasnt able to fit into a comic narrative
obviously this would come with a lot of retconning and i know a lot of people will probably not like it if i do it and i think thats something i have to face and learn to live with
but yeah anyways. TLDR is i really want to actually do something proper for TAD but have been having a lot of trouble with it unfortunately, but im working on it. and ive also been feeling rly nostalgic about extinction so you might see the characters again, albeit different in terms of story from what you probably know
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nutria--oscura · 1 year ago
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PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO BUCKO-
can you believe it cut me off whilst anthonys sexualising certain races joke?
"heaven is just a bunch of solitary men doing hobbies" he did stay hobbies right?
ah yes... the dolphin cult
"waiting for you to whip it out" oKAY-
KNIGHT EM
normal NEEDS to go feral <3 as a treat <3
HE TAUGHT DOLPHINS HOW TO PISS
A DEAD POETS SOCIETY REF? OKAYYY
"its a living"
yea, sure, fuck over the paramedic-
"help me and this giant meatball get into the ambulance"
titty rodgers jr
"my spouses need to come with me. and then my in-laws. and then this eldrich god" dood:"hi" "and then our friend from school" hermie:"hei" im sorry- isnt hermie also married to them?
HAH THEY FORGOT ABOUT NICKY (me too-)
KID FIGHT KID FIGHT KID FIGHT
very "my dad is better than yours" playground argument
"lark and sparrow both go 'hey don't talk to my son that way' they both say it simultaneously"
"do we fucking have a problem, again?" "i dont know are we gonna have a problem, again?" "guys guys guys lets calm down but yea i think we might have a problem, again"
NORMALS GONNA GO FE- DAMMIT
"ok do i kill one of them or-"
NORMAL NO-
SHIT IM ACTUALLY CRYING WAIT-
OH NO NO NO
HES GOING BACK INTO HIS SHELL HES GOING BACK INTO TEENY
"me and my 3 best friend, and my future boyfriend and our non-Euclidian friend- its gonna be great guys lets go" love that hermie is just not commenting on everytime normal calles them his future bf
NORMAL MY BOY- NOOOOOO
ALSO SCARY DEFENDING NORM FUCK- que from eden by hozier "honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago"
RON IS IN THE MEATBALL HELL YEA
"i have returned in your hour of need, just like i said"
"oh yeah hes in the plains of misery, he went straight over there after arriving" OUCHHHHH
update: i am at the 1:00:00 mark and i have been sat here for 2 HOURS WHAT THE FUCK-
SCARY AND RON INTERACTIONS OH GOSH-
"no, thats not sleep... thats the silent treatment"
TERRY JR VS GLENN OH SHITTTTT
NO DON'T END IT THERE-
In conclusion: Normally Oak Swallows Garcia Marlowe Li Wilson Swift the Unworthy Kicks makes me:
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and he needs therapy
Atonement- Anointment- an ointment? Atonyment (tony peperoni?)
~s2 ep 44 spoilers below~
ron and beth business idea? ron and beth business idea
"in fact, the only hard part my be finding someone to share it with" "oh" "..." "..." "ron... what are we?" "I dont know beth... i dont know."
"about 4 teens that got married" "4 teens?" im just gonna pretent anthony is saying it like that cause of hermie and dood
TAYLOR IS A ROGUEEE FREDDIE WENT ROGUEEE
honestly, taylor as a barbarian would have been funny
goofy minmax? fuck yea
NORMAL AND LINK IN THE INTRO (sorry i loved when will and matt did that with henry and darryl)
PIANOOOO
stimming so hard cause of will
... i take it back- normal i love you but what the f-
time to update your normal designs yall
"scary doesn't run errands. she walks them... bitch"
OH YEAH- THE MEMORY--
what the fuck-
"hes[darryl] like a real zaddy" "no hes a daddy, you gotta be realistic here"
so the teens cant go to heaven, cant go to hell, where they gonna go when they die-
HERMIEEEEEEE
scary gets taken "no! my scene partner!" hermie gets taken "no! my future life partner!"
anthonys exhasparated "okay" when beth said scarys gonna look like a meatball is honestly a constant mood-
PIANO
now being a ranger is useful- bhahah
"you know its not gonna be the time out room and its not gonna be good"
"no pwobwem fowwow meee"
"i wanna see if there's anyone who isn't supposed to be in heaven so i can tattle on them" "i feel like tattling as an act immediately drops you into hell" "they love tattling in hell though" "wasn't the bibles most famous snitch, like, kinda vilified for that?" "who?" "judas dude?" "judas my man. my man judas" "wait well, judas wasn't a snitch per se" "yea he was just bad" "he was a betrayer" "he was a betrayer" "he was a business man" "he snitched-" "30 pieces of silver in that economy can go a long way" "no no no no, they're-they're right Freddie. what did he snitch? like 'hey, that's Jesus' like they knew-" "YEA" "like they knew who Jesus was" "do you think the last supper was Jesus being like 'guys alright don't tell anybody don't tell anybody'" "'but we- we've gotta fucking move 10kilos of this, ok? just don't tell the authorities'" "'this is my body, let me see your body- you wearing a wire?'" "oh my god- like the last supper was like a table for 13 but then more people found out about it and they were like 'yea, i had a birthday party, the sweet 33 but you weren't invited' and Judas was like do not-" "'are you Roman? cause if you're Roman you have to tell me'"
yes, i did just sped 15 minutes to copy that section of the podcast on my first listen. yes, i do in fact now know it by heart
anthonys "yea" like "yea, no fucking shit" and then its a mens rights activist who podcasts about spaghetti who is in front of his setup eating spaghetti at the mic and only got into heaven cause he was an organ donor and all his organs saved the lives of great people who were from minorities that the guy did not like, each of which discovered the cure for a different type of cancer
im 23 mins in and ive been sat here listening for an HOUR
"taylor walks by and looks at him asianly"
"so you know how in a chirstmas story they have them say fudge so you don't have to hear the f-word?" "uh-huh" "yeaaa-" "uhhhhhhh-" "where are you going with this bro?" "careful my friend" "hes gonna say: *slowmode* 'oh darn, it's a pppppeeeeeeerrrrrrrsssoooonnnn' and hes going to say a slur, a horrible slur"
FREDDIE ON THE KITARRA
TONY
OH
I GET THE TITLE NOW
FVCKING NEW IT
new narc type - narc on someone to their conscience
THANK YOU ANTHONY FOR REMEMBERING HERMIE
AND DOOD
YES DOOD <3
"do you[normal] really want to give me positivity? or do you want me to say thank you so you feel good about yourself?" "get him get him get him"
HE WAS SO EXCITED FOR MARGHERITA TO BE THERE NO-
"im glad you got into heaven despite everything"
CHA👏RAC👏TER👏DE👏VE👏LOP👏MENT👏
LINCOLN-
JESUS LINCOLN- I MEAN YEAH BUT JESUS
SCARY MY BELOVED <3
ooooo, new item! potentially!
love taylor asking how lincoln is doing cause of his thing with authority when he himself wont process his shit-
normal needs to go feral <3 please <3
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HAH- I SHALL RETURN- YOU CANT STOP M-
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tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years ago
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A.R| Just cry Already
Summary: did arvin take you on a date- oop.
Warning: slight sexual tension, just a little tense, NOT SEXUAL- terrible flirt, and of course unedited
A/n: smack my ass like a drumb ✌️���- YALL I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE ABOUT BEING LATE- IM HAVING A FEW PROBLEMS AND I HAVE TO RE WRITE THE SHIT I RIGHT BECAUSE IT SEEMS RUSHED!
Chapters -> one ✨ two 🤠 three ✨ four 🤠 five
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Arvin isnt a stalker, he just wanted to know where you live, turns out just across the woods. Lenora called him ‘freakin crazy’ while his grandmother called him ‘in love’. He wants to sneak you out so he does, he grabs his coat and nicer pants, he cleaned himself up, brushed his hair back with some water and brushrd his teeth.
“She is gonna love you man” he says to himself in the mirror, after checking himself out. He grabbed his keys and headed out.
You on the other hnd were right awake, thinking about the preacher and how disrespectful he was. “God he just seems-“ you cut yourself off, you were honestly having the second hand embarrassment, how it is to be in his place.
“Im not falling in fucking love, hes a white boy god dammit” you murmured, the room dark and the door closed while you placed your hands under your ear, closing your eyes.
Until you heard a light knock.
You jumped as you looked out your window, a hat appearing as hands start to open the window, you quickly got up and grabbed your heel. You grabbed the foot of it and held the heel up.
“Oh shit- how hard can it be to open a damn window?” You hear youre guessing a man groan, you walk up to the window and see white hands, your first instinct is to pierce it but you soon realize who it is.
“Shit arvin you scared me! I almost put a whole in your hand!” You whisper yelled as you put down the heel softly to not wake anyone up. You grab his hands and let him inside, softly planting his feet on the ground and looking at you with his chocolate brown eyes that the moon shone on.
“Hey” he let out a chuckle as he looked at you. “My dad is gonna kill me and you, what do you want arvin?” You ask seriously, placing your hands on your hips and honestly missing your bed.
“I-uh wanted to take you on a date- as i said theres a drive through and a movie is playing” “is this your ticket to makeout with me?” “I mean no- but that would be nice” you sigh, then you hear wood creak. “Shit! In the closet- NOW” you whisper yell, pushing him to the closet and closing it, throwing yourself on the bed and under the sheets.
Your door opens as your eyes are wide open, your father entering. “Why are you up? And why is your window open?” “Its hot and my head hurts a bit” “not sneakin boys in here are ya?” He switches on the light looking around in your room. “Now why would i do that, dad?” You let out a giggle. “I dont know, i hope you know your my little girl and your never leaving, ever” he lets out rather harshly. Arvin crinkled his eyebrows and mentally added notes about your father, now understanding what you meant earlier.
You gulp and nod, not wanting to answer. He smiles and turns off the light, closing your door all the way shut before stepping off. Sooner or later the closet door opened with a smiling arvin.
“Get changed! We gotta go!” He whisper yells, you smack your lips and sigh in defeat before getting up and walking over to your closet. “Well you gotta get out!” You say, he raises an eyebrow in confusion “of my closet?” He lets out an ‘ohh’ before standing up and dusting his pants off.
You take out some of your brothers jeans, a tank top and some 2 inch black heels. “Arent women not aloud to wear pants?” “So you arent a feminist?” Arvin lets out a ‘pffft’ “of course i am, Especially for you” “oh shut up and let me change” it became awkward of course as you had to hide yourself from arvin.
Of course you didnt have a bra on, so when you took off your night gown your breats slapped on your stomach, arvin just leaning against the window seal with his arm as he watchs you without hesitation “you are such a creep, i can feel you staring at me” you comment. He only giggles as he watches your back move, your glowing back move to put your black tank top on.
You turn to him and meet his eyes “turn around arvin” “why?” “So i can take off i pants?” “O-oh yeah” you give a smile while he turns around, dropping your pants still facing him you grab the jeans and slide them on.
Arvin really wanted to see you, he knows you arent shapped like these others, he wants to touch and admire you everywhere, every flaw would be his favorite part, he just needed his fingers on you. “You almsot done-“ “look?” You ask, he immediately turns around and meets your dressed body, well you didnt button your pants all the way, he smiled as he looked at you up and down “gorgeous” he licks his lips. “Havent took me on the first date” you remind him making him roll his eyes silently.
You both sat in the car, music distantly playing as he had his hand on your thigh, looking at you for some moments while you looked straight ahead. He looked again and you caught him “what?” You giggle, making him smile and blush “your like, really beautiful- i hope you believe me” you bite your lip and shrug “i dont know just yet”.
He bought you the famous pineapple upside down cake and some Bees Knees, as you guys pulled up in the drive through. “Scary movie, classic move arvin” you rolled your eyes. He only laughed as he continued to look for a spot “do like them?” “Yeah i do, which one is this?” “Only the famous Nosferatu” “cool” he chuckled as he parked his Chevrolet Bel Air in one of the best spots.
“I hope you dont think your getting me tonight” you look at him while he sios his drink, he only shrugs “you dont know” he winks. You smirk but turn away from him as you turn on the radio to the right channel, hearing the movie you grabbed a fork and took a bite out of the pineapple-cake.
About an hour in he tried his best to flirt with you. “Hey y/n” he said, you turned to him as he picked up the same fork you had and took a bite, sexually. You sucked in your lower lip to keep you from laughing as he continued to eat it and make eye contact with you. And then he wasn’t expecting it, you started cackling.
He didn’t understand why as he made sure to lick the fork clean. You were out of breath as he rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw. “I-im so-sorry” you only started to laugh harder “b-but that! I cant-“ “whatever” “dont get mad at me, im sorry” you sucked in your laughs and patted his shoulder, giving a playful frown as he looked back at you with his lips tucked to the side.
“Im not mad, no need to apologize hun” “oh we’re doing pet names?” “I mean, yeah” “alright sweetcheeks” you said as he smacked his lips and couldnt fight the urge smile.
He turned off the radio and turned to you, you had your heels off showing your pretty piggies that arvin laughed at, he looked up at you and seen you smiling at him. “What?” He asks, his cheeks slowly heating up. “Youre beautiful arvin” you complement as his cheeks become scarlet. “Your too sweet” he says back, biting his lip to stop himself from grinning more “well tell me about yourself, will ya?”
“What do you wanna know?” You ask as you lean back, your lower lip popping out over your top. “Your favorite color, movie something like that?” “Well, i like F/C my favorite movie is F/M my favorite food is F/F and i love rainy and cloudy days” “how come?” “My little brother, and because they are relaxing” you sigh and give a small smile.
“Well i like red, i dont really have a favorite movie? I love my grandmas cooking so i also dont have one, but i like sunny days- even though we rarely get those” he chuckles, you place your hand on top of his “how nice” you grin.
“I-i feel so embarrassed- about in church- god” he groans. “Dont be arvin- i dont care and nobdy else does- well i dont mean it like that but you know-“ “yeah” he sighs, relaxing a bit as his legs slightly open, his elbow on the ontop of the closed window as he rested his head on his cheek.
You felt happy but sad, you dont want him to feel that way at all, nobody deserves it, not even the racists deserve it. “Look let go of it, it was a moment and you are moving on” “you say that like it was a week ago” “oh well, arvin”
“So you snuck out last night?” Cloudy asks again for clarification, you look at him annoyed but nodded. He chukcled as he shuck his head “ what?!” You ask, slapping his arm as you guys walked down to the lake for a bit.
“Dad is gonna fucking kill you, do you even like this boy?” “We went in one date! And it was nice, we actually have an emotional connection” “how much?” He asks looking at you. “We talked the whole movie through” “i swear if he-“ “calm the hell down cloudy” you giggle, he only rolls his eyes as he huffs.
“I hope you know no one is gonna be happy” “well I guess im thankful for you” you wrap your arm around his arms, holding his shoulder in your hand and rubbing it some as he chukles. “How was school by the way?” You ask suddenly, he only shrugs as he looks at his moving feet “talk to me cloud”. “I seen lenora around and stuff” “did you talk to her?” “No” you sigh as you shake your head in disappointment.
“Well get out of your comfort zone- do something” you raise your eyebrow at him, slightly annoyed. “And who are you to tell me what to do?” He says, cocking the same eyebrow. “I am your sister, your older sister- the one who-“ “changed my diapers” cloudy mocks, already knowing what you were gonna say.
“Exactly, although we might not be able to do a whole lot of things that doesnt mean we cant bend the rules just a bit, right?” You give him a small smile as he chuckles “you are the exact opposite of dad” “i know- thats why you love me so much” you giggle as you take your hand from his shoulder and start walking normally side by side.
“Hey y/n?” Cloudy asked after a few minutes of silence, he looked at you as you hummed and told him to continue,” you know how you promise me and mom that youre gonna take us out of here?” You looked at him and nodded.
“Do you ever rethink it? Or even think about leaving us?” He hesitated. “Well- i dont pray, i dont work, and i barely help anyone. So sometimes i do think about it- think about if we do get stuck here, if we dont leave and if we are gonna stay miserable” “so yes?” You nod and poke your lower lip out.
“But when you saved lenora- do you think that god seen that as a good sign for you?- like arvin is a good sign?” He asks curiously, you only shrug and bite the side of your lip. “Are you telling me your believing in god now cloud?” You ask him. “I mean- he did make this earth right?”
You stop dead in your tracks and he follows turning to you as you put your hands on his shoulders and gives them a squeeze, making cloudy groan but pay attention. “Look here- i dont care that you belive in god- but what you wont do is put faith in that god damn preacher, ya hear?” You say sternly.
You were never really serious when you talked with cloud, you had no reason to be hard or hate him. Hes your younger brother after all right? But he knew when you gave him those talks he needed to agree, he always puts faith in you and believes what you say because your really all he has.
Dad is manipulative- whatever mom said to him was because dad told her to. When you were young you barely listened so he kinda gave up on you, so when cloudy was born you took him under your wing because you utterly refused for him to be brain washed by the asshole of a dad. Why did your mother even get with your dad? Because she was desperate and vulnerable.
She killed her brother, on purpose. Your uncle is sick- was sick. He tried to touch your mom also- to all the black folks she was the prettiest girl in the small town- and your father took advantage of it. Your mother was always a free woman and doesnt like to be trapped, but as she got older she grew tired and just gave up- just listened- it meant less work for her anyway.
He nodded “yes ma’am”. You give him a weak smile as you find yourself next to the river already. You heard giggles and the water waves as pictures flashed, then a strong punch. You silently slapped your brother as you told him to get down, both crouching knowing you had to get out of there.
“I want you to go the car cloud” you whisper at him, crawling ahead and turning to the bushes, slightly getting a view of the people- of course white people.
“Im not leaving you y/n-“
Shots fired.
“Get your dumbass to to the fuckin car NOW!” You whisper yell, cloud stunned but quickly taking the keys from you and running to the car. You start crawling more and see an old man, well mid-30s with a camera around his neck and a women fixing herself- and of course a dead man bare naked with bloody coming from between his legs.
You sat there, shaking, your hand making its way up to cover your mouth, your eyes widening with shock as they started to take care of it.
Now you knew better then to report it because it only meant bad for you, but what happend- what you just saw is absolutley horrible. You only froze and continued to watch almost forgetting about cloudy, you look back at the parked cars and back at the couple your guessing- but they’ve disappeared.
You took your chance now to run back to the car, lifting your pink dress and running in those combat boots. You saw cloudy basically mesmerized- paying no attention as he just looked ahead- the keys already in and the car started as you just drove away.
Taggie! @jeyramarie
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zontiky · 4 years ago
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okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream
this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd
pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh
The Hargreeves siblings are dead.
Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.
When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.
He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.
Anyway.
Klaus.
He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.
Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.
“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.
His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”
Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.
Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”
Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.
Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 
And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)
The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.
righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol
five shows up
he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts
god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk
somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober
or maybe hes high for all eternity?
for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober
so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers
asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry
he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,
if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,
ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless
and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge
five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him
dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse
OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along
i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((
for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist
IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK
okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.
1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves
after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit
which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse
bc theyd:
trust each other more
already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge
are working as a team from the very beginning
have open lines of communication
yeah uh. so there
vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen
oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf
there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar
so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise
okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd
2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist
this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on
subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk
aaaaaa
five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd
is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting
either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train
3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back
this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO
basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk
4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist
five with a gun but hes sad now
i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different
and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??
SCREAMS
i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)
subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something
yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd
subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind
i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa
okay jesus christ i think that’s all
I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3
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rubyss · 7 months ago
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i cant even find any gifsets worth reblogging about this movie and all the decent ones include the part i hated the absolute most. my notes i wroted as i watched below the cutttttt
ok city of the living dead. watching it on the tv so sadly i have to see ads this time
oh so this is from flat 1980? which means itll be more like a 70s movie
digging this intro music. simple but niceys
THE PRIESTTTTTT
is this some hp lovecraft shit ?
tubi runs like shit on a tv
this woman looks like the twink from fear and hunger
oh the priest is being hanged i thought he was flying
wow not even 3 minutes in and we have a zombie and a title drop
oh the twink girl died
cant place what accent this guy has
he sounds dubbed in? this is a special edition so maybe he is
why is the detective staring at this womans lack of eyelids so much
oh this is an italian movie. maybe it is dubbed?
okay looking it up the movie does hold some inspiration from lovecraft. yay i was right but boo lovecraft
FUCKING BLOWUP SEX DOLL IN THE ABANDONED SCARY HOUSE?????? AND YOURE GONNA FUCK IT???????????
jesus thats a lot of gore. oh my god.
theres a lot of closeups on peoples eyes in this movie. is that a director thing or a date thing
i aint never had a beer that made me see ghouls or demons
they dont make doors with little diamond windows in em anymore. why not.
ohhh cuted kitty. wait why are we talking about incest.
i dont think ive seen a woman that isnt blonde yet. i see enough of those at work
why are you interrupting this womans therapy session to complain about your personal problems.
i dont know if a kitten could claw you that badly
TALKING ABOUT PORN AND EATING LUNCH OVER AN OPEN COFFIN?
they put a mirror in the coffin? interesting
im all for fuck work but damn just leaving someone half buried? rough
oh fuckkkkkk shes alive. well they kept showing her so i figured
this dude is stupid as fuck. hears banging and screaming from the casket behind me well whatever. bye.
i dont know if your fingers would start bleeding this quickly
she is wasting ALL of her air
oh is he going to dome her with the pickaxe
you KNOW SOMEONE IS IN HERE. BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL??????
oh its the sex doll guy. i forgot about him.
okay this isnt even a zombie thing this guy is just nasty. youre not even rotting dude you found those worms and gore somewhere else.
writes BOB in all caps and circles it in the middle of a graph i was already writing on
women will not be interested in sex and their boyfriends will say what the devil is wrong ????
cars love to not start its their favorite thing
GETS SO SCARED I CRY BLOOD
okay this might be like a demonic thing not a scared thing. EW WHAT IS THAT
oh they were REALLY obsessed with gore in these movies huh. christ this is a bit over much
stopped paying attention for a minute bc that was nasty. why did they name that kid john-john
aw god dammit is it gonna happen again. ok thank god. well we arent outta the woods yet but still
well THIS girl doesnt get a coffin mirror. so wtf.
is this kid gonna get got. john-john look out!!!!
okay no he just got scared. i also cant tell what accent he has.
this guys beard and hair look like theyre made of plastic
oh shit sex doll guy is still alive? i get surprised every time
CASUAL MISOGYNY LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
aw fuck grandma died
im tryin to have a drink can we not have anyone else spill their guts PLEASE
they NEED to make the woman seem like a hysterical freak who needs A Man to lean on. brother theres a living corpse in here.
my EVIL zombies that make my WINDOW EXPLODE and my WALLS BLEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they built the cursed town on the…. ruins? of salem? so i guess in this world salem was destroyed
a new woman who ISNT blonde! and sex doll guy is here too!
she put a blunt in her pants?
is this dude gonna drill a guy to death just for being in his garage. what a freak. NEVER go to massachussetts
i think you go to jail for doing this even to an intruder. you dont get to impale someone's head on a drill even if they were in your car
know theres other arlingtons around the country but im taking this one as a TEXAS MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i look away for ONE SECOND and theyre being pelted by. maggots ?
fuckkkkkk john-john look outttttttttt theres GHOULS
this is definitely the most interesting zombie theyve shown thus far. sorry about the third traumatic event in a row john-john
okay the music cut off was kinda funny
im getting bored i want hummus and crackers………………
ahhhhh we missed the TIME CONSTRAINTS and now the DEMONS APPEAR
fucked up how these things can kill you just by looking at you too long. they keep saying the people die from fright but fright doesnt do this shit to you.
everyone in this fuckin movie dies before their 50s
the wetted rat appears
this woman is so scared of fucking rats. people are dying in the streets.
people in this movie die and become half rotten INSTANTLY
oh the girl twink is dying again. this is like the third time this has happened for her. whatever.
nice stained glass tomb brother
theres not much dialogue in this end sequence. i think this entire movie could have had no dialogue and not suffered for it
STOP FUCKING CRYING BLOOD I SWEAR TO GOD
STABBED HIM THROUGH THE DICK WITH A CRUCIFIX???
cock destruction has eradicated ALL zombies. cbt is the anser
2nite we watching city of the living dead and this is already more interesting than slaughter high
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 5 years ago
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oohohoho you just opened the deepest can of worms on the planet
-mod dave, who wrote a fucking ten mile essay
first off, addressing the second anon, no theyre all humans. h., half humans at least. cause yall know me i fucking love my humanstuck aus off my ASS
(that would be funny as hell though. a troll from space walking into a camp on earth going “I AM THE SON OF ONE OF YOUR EARTH GODS. BITCH” like... holy shit)
so first things first their parents. im gonna lay this out, the beta kids and trolls are all greek (EXCEPT sollux hes roman cause his parent has no greek equivalent), and all the alpha kids and trolls are those gods roman equivalents (,,EXCEPT dirk cause he kinda balances sollux being roman out). i havent figured out how thatd happen like 16+ times yet cause in the percy jackson books theres only ever been one instance of two siblings of the same godly descent being greek and roman respectively in HISTORY so like.. i guess th. i guess thats just not a problem in this au
anyway this gets really long so im gonna talk about the beta kids and trolls cause i havent elaborated on the alphas at all ((peep the tags if you wanna see their parents though))
johns the son of zeus, rose is the daughter of athena, dave is the son of apollo, and jade is the daughter of demeter. they were all raised in their respective states, all had to come to new york for various reasons. jades been there the longest, shes been there 9 years and shes been on a couple quests. her biggest accomplishment so far is how she protected the camp from this big vicious angry hellhound that got past the barrier. naturally the girls fluent in Dog Training, so she steps up and instead of trying to kill this thing, she reaches out and tames it as fast as she can. it ends up actually working, and ever since that day she, her cabin, and the camp have a whole bodyguard sleeping right outside the demeter cabin! hes her steed in battle and hes a Very Good Boy. and his name is becquerel
johns the newest kid at camp, he has no idea who he is or why the fuck his school got attacked or why in the hell those anemoi thuellai were so fixated on him or HOW in the hell he absorbed the lightning one threw at him and ended up fine,,, hes just a big mess right now. a big enough mess that when he got claimed by literally zeus, no one else was around, he shrugged it off as some basic magical happening, and he stayed in the hermes cabin far longer than he should have cause no one! fucking knew he got claimed! by zeus of all people! dumbass. he ends up figuring it out though. like an off-hand mention about how this “weird lightning thing appeared above my head a couple weeks ago, haha weird right?” once he figures it out he realizes “hey i might be able to fly” so he sneaks off into the woods to try it. he succeeds fairly quickly but god almighty everyones face the one day the dude just yote himself off a small cliff without warning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
dave and rose are really tight, theyve been there roughly the same time length, and since their cabins are across from each other they just bother each other all the time. daves the resident Doctor even though he really doesnt look it cause hes got the apollo powers. apollo is the medicine god. so if you wound your stupid ass in battle daves in the ER room patching you up with his glowy hands. rose on the other hand is a very good strategist. shes one of the only athena kids ever recorded to actually have a power - telekinesis. she has no idea how she developed it, she thinks its from birth, but it freaks her out. shes training it though.
so the beta trolls, are also all human(ish). aradias hades kid. but i pulled a pjo trope on her based on one of my favorite characters (im not saying for spoilers, but if you recognize the situation, You Probably Know Who Its Based Off) and aradia died. her mom, the handmaid, had been pulling some Shady Ass Shit and ended up getting herself killed, but aradia tried saving her and ended up going down with her.
so handmaid gets sentenced to the fields of punishment in the underworld, and aradia gets sentenced to elysium, heroes paradise. shes like “no i want my mom to be okay” so they take that away from aradia and they put them both in the fields of asphodel, the neverending grey space for Not So Good But Not So Bad people. her mom becomes a shade (shadow spirit, no human resemblance), as all people do, but aradia. doesnt? and she gets dunked in the fucking river lethe and if you dont know what that does it erases your memory. so she just. comes out of the river like “hello? wgat tae fukc goin on??” but she still remembers one thing. there was an “a” in her name.
tavros is the son of hermes, hes just kinda taken on the role of backup counselor for when the actual cabin counselor is out. hes in a wheelchair, but he also has prosthetic legs for when he needs to actually stand up and fight. hes really good at it too. also catch him in winged converse cause he Owns Those and Uses Them To His Advantage. hes trying his best to keep focused on the camp, cause aradia was his childhood friend, he misses her a whole lot, she never got to camp in the first place. and to his knowledge, shes still dead.
sollux is a janus kid. thats a problem cause janus is roman, and this is a greek camp. he grew up with dave, he showed up with dave, hes been at camp as long as dave. but hes been unclaimed since he showed up so he thinks hes unwanted by whatever parent he has. he knows hes a demigod, he got through the camp barriers, so what the fuck is wrong with him? he also feels shitty cause hes shit at the greek lessons, he cant read a lick of it which literally every demigod without exception should be able to do, he cant name any gods- well, he can, but.. he gets their names mixed up. why does he keep calling poseidon “neptune”? and he has a much, much different way of natural fighting than other kids. they slice, he jabs. he wasnt taught to jab. 
karkat is an aphrodite kid with vitiligo, and to make matters worse, hes ace and on the aro spectrum. to make matters WORSE, the aphrodite kids are kinda notorious for being really shallow, really materialistic, and really mean. karkats been dubbed the “runt” of the cabin, he gets made fun of for his spots to the point where he uses make up and magic to conceal them. worst of all? hes the kid of the goddess of love, for fucks sake. being reminded that “loveless people shouldnt be able to stay in this cabin, mom must have made a mistake claiming you” is kind of.. a blow to the self esteem. long story short he hates aphrodite for claiming him, and would have rather stayed in the hermes cabin. but he eventually goes on this big quest thats vague as fuck right now but Its The Main Plot, he ends up proving to himself that hes worth something and that his siblings are wrong, and my FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE THING i came up with is HIS when he deals a final blow to some big monster: “REMEMBER MY FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU REINCARNATE. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I’M THE SON OF APHRODITE, AND LOOKS CAN KILL.”
nepeta isnt anywhere near developed as others are unfortunately, shes a daughter of ares and shes really really good at hand to hand combat. shes small but she leads groups of people in things ranging from camp volleyball games to actual literal wars. shes a tough little shit
kanaya isnt really developed either, i have yet to figure out most of her powers too actually, shes a daughter of iris, the rainbow goddess though. (blatant reference to both kanayas vampirism and. h. her. sh. es ga. gay) ONE THING SHE CAN DO THOUGH is iris message at will without water or drachmas so really shes just everyones go to cell phone and its fucking hilarious cause people just come into the cabin like “KANAYA I NEED TO TALK TO [X]” and shes like “You Better Fucking Pay Me I Am Not Your Personal Cell Phone”
terezi is the daughter of nemesis and she has this really peculiar power she hasnt really gotten the hang of yet. she has synesthesia, so while she cant see she can smell and taste the colors of her surroundings and its really helpful. sometimes though she gets messages from her mom. they dont even come as dreams half the time, they come as almost a different plane altogether. tez has the power to literally tip the scales, pretty much. and when she gets like that, she can see. shes not on earth though, shit on earth stops when shes like that. shes just kinda In Her Own Head, i guess? and in her head she holds the two scales in her hands. she is the arms of the scale. and depending on which one she lifts up, she can literally alter the fate of the battle or happening thats going on By Herself. once she chooses she just whooshes back to real life though and nothing has changed. the only downside? it takes a LOT of energy and cant be exploited for little things. her one thing on her bucket list is to tap into said powers while getting something from a vending machine so like three things will fall out but it hasnt happened yet and shes upset
vriskas a daughter of tyche, the luck goddess, come the fuck on you knew i was gonna, i havent really elaborated on her either and im upset about that. but hey now you get a break from all those fucking paragraphs
equius is a hephaestus kid, and he kinda stays in the background. hes a range fighter, he spends a lot of time in the forge, and even though its been a project looooong since forgotten, hes been excavating the tunnels under cabin nine for years. by himself. he has no idea where they lead, but dammit hes gonna find out where. he has no idea about a certain bunker in the woods though...
gamzees just there for a fucking laugh tbh hes a son of dionysus and i love that cause hes the god of wine and parties and insanity. usually gamzees just zoning out somewhere hes Not supposed to be, and hes not affected by the maenads FUCKED UP BULLSHIT that goes down the forest sometimes. also hes so fucking scared of tavroses wing shoes he tried them on once while he was high and JESUS CHRIST
eridan is the son of kymopoleia, a SUPER obscure goddess. lets just say dont fuck with eridan cause his mom is the goddess of violent sea storms,
and naturally, feferi is the daughter of poseidon. cause who the FUCK else would she be the daughter of. WHO. NAME ONE GOD
OH AND JUST CAUSE I FORGOT CALLIE AND CALIBORN ARE SATYRS IN THIS AU. CALLIE HAS PAN PIPES. and caliborn still has a gun
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imbumkyung · 5 years ago
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I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch.4) - Acting
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
Warnings: none!
“Well the good news is, the cast should only be on for about a month, and you can go back to regular activities within eight weeks,” the blonde, golden eyed doctor advised.
The room you were sat in was glum. You remember it this exact way from the movie. Dr. Cullen’s hair swept back with a white coat on, eyes focused on the document in front of him being held by a clip board. We was writing things down, probably prescribing her some medications or as her friends liked to call it— hardcore drugs.
Kai reminisced that comedy segment that John Mulaney did about lying to his doctor for Xanax. She considered the same trick on Dr. Cullen, but feared that he would deny her since marijuana and other drugs were still taboo in 2007. Still, her mouth ran faster than she could process.
“Hey uh, sometimes I get nervous on airplanes,” she stated
God. I have to blame my ADHD on that one.
“Ah,” he nodded, “well I hope you won’t be going on any airplanes anytime soon then,” Dr. Cullen replied with a smile
Dammit. No Xanax for me then.
He finished writing but not without leaving a signature at the bottom of the page and sending me off with a smile. As she was leaving the room, she happened up bump straight into the hardest and coldest figure she’d ever felt.
“Sh— sorry man,” she apologized. She looked up for a split second and instantly regretted when she did
Edward
His eyes narrowed, making her feel smaller, “I remember you,” he stated
She said nothing, but ducked her head and rushed away as fast as she could. Her sense of accomplishment for getting away was cut short by a cold hand wrapped around her upper right arm. At this, she tensed and gave him a cold look.
“It’s not nice to grab people,” she spat
“How do you know who I am?” He asked gently
“The last time someone asked me that I got this,” she raised the cast on her left forearm. Unknowlingly revealing she knew about Victoria as well. The sound of her screaming in pain and the events of Victoria effortlessly snapping her arm played in her head.
“Besides,” she shrugged her arm from his grasp, “I’ll be out if your way soon”
Unwillingly, she remembered the time she tried to kill herself back to go back to her normal life and the next image that flashed in her head was her driving at over 100mph, then closing her eyes and sealing her fate. It wasn’t a set-in-stone kind of plan, but it was an idea that came up on the spot.
Edward cringed, “that— that’s not neccessary,”
“What’s not neccessar— oh. Stay out of my head please,” she remembered, he can hear her thoughts, but she wasn’t aware that any form of imagery would translate for him.
“You know I can read your thoughts,” he stated.
“Look, I’d love to explain everything, but I really gotta go. My mom needs me home to uh...” she paused, scrambling in her head for an excuse “take care of my brother— Don’t speak to me if you ever run into me again. Please,” she walked out of the hospital as fast as she could, deciding she didn’t need any of the medication. She just needed to get away.
-
Needless to say, Kai was stressed. Stressed that she’s attracted so much attention from the characters. Stressed that said characters had even seen her. It put her in danger. Victoria even knows about her now, and now that another human besides Bella knows of their existence— it’s a crime to the bloodsuckers.
Upon realizing this, Kaileia’s eyes widened.
Her knowledge of them had been exposed to two vampires. Theres no one to protect her from this— Bella’s safety was secured because Edward was her mate. Kai had no one. She’d avoided becoming friends with anybody at all in fear that any connection would lead her to the vampires or the wolves.
Slamming open the door to her bedroom, she scrambled for the journal she bought months back. It had been weeks since she last documented her experiences, but after today, it was time for an update
“Victoria caught me today and broke my arm bro. At least it was my shitty arm. I havent had an actual conversation with anyone besides Jeremy who interviewed me for the job I have now. Carlisle fixed my arm as if theres no other god damn doctors in forks dAMMIT MEYER. Then edward radiated some REAL Serial killer energy today like hOLY SHIT he can read my thoughts. I just wanna go back to where my only problem was my mom. She wasnt even that much of a problem tho tbh. But its Not like blood sucking vampires and their werewolf enemies. Kendrick Lamar isnt even famous yet. No one knows who Chance the Rapper is. Everyones obsessed with the pussycat dolls and I dont even think they know about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. At this point, I’ve definitely missed the area 51 raid and I’m disappointed.
Not gonna lie tho, I’ve been running from it all this time and it’s worked until now. I was faced with just the greatest danger ever and now I’m getting sucked in. I’m really hoping I never have to mean anything to them. I’m also wondering what happens after it’s all over? I don’t want to write what it is here, because if someone finds this I don’t want to change the future, but after that last chapter, where do I go? I can’t live here forever. I have my own life.
I wonder if my dogs miss me. If anyones feeding them the right amount, walking them twice a day. Do my parents know I’m gone? Its been over half a year and I’m still here”
Her hand started cramping and she shut her book, flinging her pen across the opposite side of the room, thought instantly regretting it because she may think of other ideas to write down. Kai lay flat on her bed, letting go of any control she had over her muscles and stared at the ceiling. Things were starting to get a lot more intense. It had her shaken that she might have to be involved in order to stay safe.
There was no evidence supporting her theory, but Kai believed in order to go back to her old life, she cannot die by the hands of another person.
(Fourth wall break)Yes, it’s a plot hole. Smeyer had a lot of those too and I’m writing this impulsively. Give me a break
-
Edward pushed open Carlisle’s office door with force, “She knows,” he stated urgently, his expression stoic but panicked.
Carlisle furrowed his brows, “who?”
“That patient you just had,” Edward said, pointing back to the door behind him with his thumb, “She knows about us. I was in her head. Victoria broke her arm,” He rushed, taking a step toward Carlisle with wide eyes.
Carlisle’s eyes widened as well, “She’s in danger,” he stated
“We have to protect her,” Edward stated, “if Victoria kills her, the treaty is compromised,” He concluded, alluding to the treaty they had with the wolves.
Carlisle paused, trying to collect his thoughts, “I think this calls for a house meeting, actually,” he suggested, now standing with his arms to his side, “I can tell this concerns you, Edward.”
“I don’t want a fight with the wolves,” Edward explained, “Jacob was here for Bella while I was in Italy. He’s the one who told me she was dead,” he paused, Carlisle listening intently to his son, “I know if we fight, he’ll come for me first. And I can’t hurt Bella like that.”
Carlisle nodded, “We’ll let the rest of them know,” he said, referring to his family, “I think it’s best if the wolves know to protect her as well,” he suggested
“She doesn’t want to be involved,” Edward said, “it was the last thing she wanted. I don’t want to drag her into this life as well.” Edward was still beating himself up for bringing Bella into his world. Weather she wanted to be in it or not, he still wanted her to keep a normal human life. And if a normal human life is what Kai wanted, then damn it, he was going to let her have it
-
“So theres another human?” Rosalie seethed
“It’s not her fault—” Carlisle interjected
“It’s not her fault? Not her fault that she found out about us? How could she figure it out without dedicating so much time into figuring us out?” She accused the girl they didn’t know about. She knew Bella only found out because of the loads of research she did.
“She didn’t,” Edward defended, taking a step closer, “I don’t know how she knows, but she does. She doesn’t even want to be involved in this life,” he said gently, keeping eye contact with Rosalie
“So what do we do?” Esme asked, “If the Volturi find out she knows about our kind, they have no one to accuse except us. We’re the only coven in Washington.” She said softly
Everyone was staring hard at the ground, trying to grant Kai’s wish of not becoming involved, all the while knowing that the only real way to protect her was to stay with her at all times.
“She at least needs to know the that Victoria won’t stop,” Alice said, “she knows the Volturi would either blame her or us for exposing our kind.”
Carlisle pressed his lips in a tight line, “I’m sure she knows.” He sighed. Everyone shared quick glances before staring back to the floor in concentration, desperately trying to come up with a solution.
“She’ll need to get out of Forks,” Alice concluded, “Victoria is only here for Bella, I don’t think she’ll go for the girl until after her plan for Bella.” Alice believed Victoria was really only hungry for revenge, and this unknown girl wouldn’t be in danger until Victoria got what she wanted with her. However, Alice had no doubts that Victoria would be defeated before even having the chance to get to the girl.
“What’s her name?” Esme asked, “so we don’t have to keep calling her “the girl””
Edward shrugged, “I don’t know, actually.” He described her instead, “she’s short, black hair, tan skin and freckles” he recalled.
Carlisle nodded, the same description in his mind
Alice froze, and stared off into the distance, “It’s Victoria.”
Everyone stood alert. Alice was having a vision.
“What? What about her?” Jasper asked, his eyes not leaving hers.
“She’s in La Push” Alice sat, her eyes unmoving. Jasper handed her a pen as she sketched a store on one half of the paper writing “Minnie’s Stop” above it. Within a second, she moved her hand to the right, sketching out a house at the corner of a row of houses reading “Hilltop Rd”.
Edward’s brows knitted and shook his head slowly, “That’s not Bella’s street.”
“It has to be hers,” Esme said
Alice looked ahead incredulously, “she’s not going for Bella.” Alice snapped out of her vision, “If she was going for Bella, I would have seen something familiar.” This proved their theory wrong. She spared some time before getting to Bella. Why did she prioritize catching the unknown girl over avenging her mate?
The Cullens shared silent glances, knowing all too well that Victoria was hunting down the girl.
“She goes to La Push. We have to inform Sam.” Carlisle said sternly. He turned to Edward, “I understand you want to protect her from this world, but we can’t risk anything happening to her on their territory.”
Edward nodded and sighed. As opposed as he was to the idea, he knew Carlisle was right. He grabbed the keys off the table and bid his family goodnight, before leaving to spend the night at Bella’s
-
“You said she already knew who you were?” Bella asked concerned, a hand on his chest, her eyebrows together and eyes looking straight into his own
“Yeah,” he exhaled, “not just who but... what.”
Bella was confused, “how?”
“I wish I knew. She refuses to speak to me and guards her thoughts. Every time I try to read in, she stops saying things in her head,” he paused, “She knew I could read minds”
“Do you think there could be other... creatures besides your kind and Jacobs?” Bella asked, just above a whisper, “like— she could be a fairy or something,” she chuckled a bit, shaking her head at the idea.
“She was kind of short,” Edward shrugged and smiled at the memory of looking down at someone the size of a fifth grader.
“Get some sleep. We’re going to meet with Sam tomorrow and tell him everything. Alice saw Victoria hunting her down in La Push.” Edward advised and let her know their plans for tomorrow.
Bella nodded before snuggling closer to his chest and finally dozing off
———
WHOOP CH 4 IS HERE!!!
Let me know what you guys think!!
Ask box is always open for comments, critiques and suggestions! Or any feedback, really. Ya know what even if u wanna just say hi HAHAH
Its open for anything really
Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are all appreciated!
Tags: @coffees-and-constellations @rosalies-hale @sunflowerspectre
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backtobasicbellas · 6 years ago
Note
If you’re accepting, an AU of Zadison I would love to see: zadison in harry potter, where madison’s a slytherin and zoe’s the hufflepuff or gryffindor she knows she shouldn’t hit on out of rivalry but divination says they’re meant to be :D Your fics on AO3 about them were FANTASTIC, by the way! Thank you for those.
who’s to fight it? (it’s your future)
words: 3,017
(this truly got longer than i expected but…here it is! also check out madison and zoe’s hogwarts moodboards i made)
When Professor Day pairs her students up for her activity of the day, Madison is pleasantly surprised when she finds herself working with Gryffindor Zoe Benson.
Madison wasn’t really listening to any of Professor Day’s lecture, but she’s pretty sure it has something to do with killing a plant and then reviving it or something dumb like that. Either way, Zoe’s smart and was probably hanging onto their professor’s every instruction.
She adjusts her silver and green tie as Zoe approaches.
“Were you even listening at all?” Zoe lightly teases.
Madison rolls her eyes. “We’ll be fine.”
She and Zoe aren’t friends - Madison would really rather not call a Gryffindor a friend - but they’re friendly enough towards each other. Madison has a reputation of being a bitch, which she proudly encourages and lives up to, but Zoe has never once seemed afraid of her or judgemental of her.
Of course, Zoe isn’t excused from Madison’s jabs, but she always takes them in stride, either rolling her eyes or shrugging it off. Madison kind of admires that, really.
Actually, Madison’s always thought Zoe’s cute. She’s kind of hot too, like when she’s kind of pissed or when she wears that proud smirk when someone tries to correct her in class only for them to be incorrect and Zoe to be completely right and follow through with an execution of whatever spell they’re learning.
However, Madison would be caught dead before she ever hit on a Gryffindor. She’s a Slytherin for crying out loud; she can’t go around fraternizing with the likes of Zoe just because she’s cute and Madison’s bored.
(And yes, it might be because Madison is a little competitive and their two houses have a rivalry that runs deep.
So what?)
“Are you going to get us started or should I just do it all myself?”
Madison quirks an eyebrow at Zoe’s slight hint of sass, clearly impressed. Zoe only looks at her expectantly, so after a moment Madison lets out a scoff.
“Fine,” she says before she’s waving her hand over the plant and murmuring a few words in latin.
The plant wilts on command, looking very much dead, and Madison turns to Zoe with a smirk.
“See? Easy.”
Zoe simply rolls her eyes at Madison, now placing her hand over the plant and reciting a few different words in latin.
Madison can’t help but be slightly entranced; Zoe recites spells with such conviction and focus. She turns her head when Zoe finishes, watching as the plant comes back to life effortlessly, like it’s been meant to do that all along.
“Miss Montgomery, Miss Benson,” Professor Day says with a smile. “Excellent execution.”
Zoe beams. “Thank you, Professor.”
Madison snorts when Professor Day passes. “See? I told you.”
Zoe rolls her eyes and laughs, and Madison tries not to be so affected by the pure sound.
And Madison wants to add something else, something that she knows can get Zoe’s cheeks to match the red on her own tie, but she stops herself.
She can’t do that, not with Zoe.
//
Madison knows she’s a powerful witch.
She’s known it for as long as she can remember, both of her parents coming from a magical line of wizards and witches tracing all the way back as far as Madison’s concerned.
However, the one thing she doesn’t seem to be mastering any time soon is divination. She just kind of thinks it’s ridiculous, who even needs divination  that seriously anyway? Madison’s a firm believer of creating your own future - or whatever bullshit people spew out these days.
This particular frustration, however, comes to her in divination class because Madison sucks at every kind of divination. What’s even more annoying though is she sits next to Nan, a Ravenclaw who somehow knows things most people don’t, and she’s really fucking good at this.
“It’s not hard,” Nan shrugs when they study Tessomancy.
Madison’s gaze snaps up from her stupid tea leaves to glare at her classmate.
“We get it bitch, you’re some prophet or some shit,” she sneers.
Nan is unbothered by her jab though, and goes back to her tea leaves. Madison peers at her own just to see nothing more than soggy tea leaves that should probably be thrown out.
Madison is honestly ready to give up on the class - who cares if Professor Goode borderline fails her, really it’s just stupid divination - when they get around to crystal gazing.
“You want me to look at this dumb crystal ball and see my future?” Madison scoffs. “This class is so dumb.”
Professor Goode gives Madison a look. “Will you just try it, Madison? Nan will help you.”
Nan smiles at her, but Madison only rolls her eyes and lets out another scoff. Professor Goode sighs and moves on to another set of students, clearly just as exasperated with Madison as the girl is with her class.
And it takes some push and pull from both of them, but Madison finally gives in, relaxing completely and the fog finally decides to change.
What she sees confuses her and intrigues her all at the same time, and when Nan asks what she sees, she’s back to her normal self.
“None of your goddamn business.”
(She thinks about it the rest of the day, the rest of the week.)
//
Madison refuses to talk to anyone - especially Nan, who somehow looks like she knows exactly what Madison saw - about what she saw in that stupid crystal ball.
She doesn’t tell anyone because it’s stupid and dumb, and how accurate is this shit anyway?
Yet it feels like she can’t escape it, no matter how hard she tries because she’s in the library - thank you Professor Goode for being an ultimate pain in the ass - when she sees none other than Gryffindor Zoe Benson.
It wouldn’t be such a problem seeing Zoe - besides the fact, you know, most Gryffindors are the biggest pain her ass - but when she sees the brunette she’s immediately brought back to divination and what she saw and really, she’s still trying to wrap her mind around it.
That stupid crystal ball made one thing very clear: she and Zoe are supposed to end up together.
Madison almost scoffs out loud in the library when the thought appears in her mind again because just look at Zoe. She’s got her nose buried in a book and looks actually pleased to be spending an afternoon in the library of all places reading a book. Her eyes are lit up with wonder and she’s so lost in her reading and - okay, she actually looks kind of cute like this.
But the point is, how the fuck is Madison even supposed to end up with someone like Zoe Benson?
Zoe’s, like, a complete nerd even if she is friends with Mallory, who’s one of those popular Quidditch players. And more importantly Zoe’s a Gryffindor. Madison knows better than to date someone like that; she’s a goddamn Slytherin for crying out loud.
//
Zoe Benson is starting to pop up everywhere.
They’re in the same year so seeing each other around isn’t much of a surprise, but Madison swears the universe is out to get her.
She feels like everywhere she turns, Zoe is somehow also in the same place at the same time. Madison’s passed her in the hallways between classes and to and from meals more times than she can count. When she has to go to the library, Zoe is in there either by herself or with a friend or two studying or reading.
(Which, Madison will admit sometimes she plans her trips because she knows a certain Gryffindor will be in there.
Sue her.)
It’s getting ridiculous actually, how all she can think about is Zoe and her dumb smile and how smart she is and how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and -
God dammit, Madison. Get a grip.
“You’re thinking too loud.”
Madison whips her head to look at Nan. The girl is writing her notes in her notebook, not even bothering to meet Madison’s gaze.
“What are you talking about?”
“If this is about whatever you saw when were crystal-gazing, it’s obviously going to happen,” Nan states in a matter-of-fact tone as she finishes writing the last of her sentence before dipping her quill into the ink while Madison gapes at her. “So you might as well stop fighting it.”
It’s now that Madison wonders if it’s even possible for the likes of wizards and witches to be clairvoyant because she’s pretty sure Nan is. It’s like she’s in Madison’s head.
“I didn’t see anything,” she snaps, trying to brush off the conversation as she turns her attention back to her half-written notes. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t care. This shit is stupid.”
Nan simply says, “I think we both know I’m right.”
A scoff drops from Madison’s lips as she turns and looks at Nan again, expecting the smaller girl to at least elaborate. When Nan doesn’t, Madison rolls her eyes and grabs her quill pen from the ink bottle, trying to block out all and any thoughts of the crystal ball and Zoe Benson.
//
When Madison walks into Professor Goode’s classroom well after classes have finished, she’s greeted by a slightly confused look.
“Miss Montgomery,” she greets with slight confusion, but a smile nonetheless. “What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if I could practice my crystal-gazing,” Madison tells her a little too simply. “Nan has been trying to work with me outside of class, but, you know, kind of hard to actually practice without a crystal ball.”
Professor Goode is surprised by her answer, but she lights up at the prospect of Madison actually putting in effort to succeed in her class. The Slytherin resists the urge to roll her eyes at the expression.
“Of course,” Professor Goode nods, standing from her chair and making her way to the back of the classroom.
Madison follows her slowly, arms crossed and fingers tapping against her robe.
Professor Goode retrieves one of her crystal balls and hands it over to Madison.
“You can use it in here,” she informs the young witch. “Just make sure you put it back after.”
Madison offers the tiniest of smiles. “Thank you, Professor.”
Professor Goode gives her one last nod before she returns to her desk in the front of the classroom.
Madison slips into the first row of desks she sees and places the crystal ball in front of her. She exhales slowly, letting herself relax before she focuses her attention on the crystal ball before her. It takes a few moments, but the fog is beginning to clear.
The first scene she sees is herself and Zoe in an empty corridor, this Madison pulling Zoe by her collar and kissing her senseless. She watches as Zoe giggles against Madison’s lips and Madison smiles against her lips.
The next scene must be a few years later, Madison guesses they might even be graduated from Hogwarts by then, but they walk down a street, holding hands. This Madison looks happy and her eyes shine when they look at this older Zoe, who is pulling her along and into a bookstore.
The following scene brings Madison to what looks like a flat. She recognizes herself and Zoe, a few years older than they were in the last scene. Zoe is curled up on the couch reading a book. Older Madison enters the scene, wearing an oversized sweater and probably not much else, and she walks behind the couch before she’s leaning over to wrap her arms around Zoe’s shoulders from behind.
Zoe shifts back comfortably against her, and Madison lets out a content sigh before she’s leaving kisses all over Zoe until Zoe cannot focus on her book anymore. Zoe tugs Madison over the couch with a yelp from the blonde, and they’re laughing and kissing and saying “I love you.” This Madison is wearing a ring.
The final scene Madison sees is much farther in the future. She and Zoe are white-haired and old and everything Madison somewhat dreads about aging, but they are in a kitchen where Zoe cooks dinner and Madison is perched at the counter watching. Zoe lets Madison taste whatever she has cooking and Madison beams at her before Zoe is kissing her sweetly. This Madison’s eyes are full of love and appreciation and something Madison has always been longing for.
When the fog fully returns, Madison blinks a few times before pulling herself away from the crystal ball. She’s quiet after, mulling over the scenes she’s seen again and the thoughts running through her mind.
She returns the crystal ball and quietly thanks Professor Goode before walks out, trying to truly process what she’s known for weeks.
She and Zoe are meant to be.
//
It’s the weekend trip into Hogsmeade and Madison decides at the last minute to go. The weather is nice outside; it’s evident by the sheer increase of people on the train this time around and how excited they are once they arrive, practically flying out of the train as soon as the doors open.
Madison takes her time and strolls around; it reminds her often of when she was much younger and her parents would talk of taking a trip to Hogsmeade back during their days at Hogwarts, telling Madison that she’d long for her weekend trips there.
She’s passing by Honeydukes when she recognizes a certain brunette wandering the street by herself. For a moment, Madison hesitates. She chews her bottom lip, almost stopping in her tracks.
The rivalry inside of her won’t just quit it - this much she knows - but she thinks about what her future’s supposed to be like. She reminds herself how the Madison she’d seen in the crystal ball had everything that she’s felt like she’s missing and has been longing for.
She quickens her pace, falling into step with the other girl.
“What, did all your friends ditch you?”
Zoe looks at Madison and shakes her head, a smile appearing on her features. “Hello to you too, Madison.”
Madison gives her an amused look. “Let me guess, you told them you were going to Tomes and Scrolls and they  all decided they have better things to do.”
“And what’s wrong with Tomes and Scrolls?” Zoe asks, mildly offended.
“God Benson, you’re such a nerd,” Madison tells her.
“Some of us actually enjoy learning, you know.”
Madison smirks. “I know; you’re kind of hot when you’re all concentrated in the library.”
Initially, Zoe’s cheeks flush. She ducks her head, attempting to let her face hide the way she’s been affected by Madison’s words. Madison resists lighting up at the reaction.
“I…Are you spying on me in the library, Montgomery?”
Madison shrugs, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. “I know how to appreciate a view when I see one, that’s all.”
She notices how Zoe bites her lip, but not before a smile starts to spread. Her cheeks are still flushed, and she’s left somewhat stuttering because Madison is completely catching her by surprise.
Madison knows she’s got Zoe right where she wants her.
“Come on nerd,” she says suddenly, beginning to walk ahead of Zoe.
“Where are we going?”
“Did you not want to go to Tomes and Scrolls?”
Zoe frowns. “You just…”
Madison rolls her eyes, reaching out and pulling Zoe’s hand to tug her forward. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Zoe looks from their hands to Madison’s expectant expression. She manages a nod, letting Madison hold her hand until the blonde lets go.
And Madison may complain about books and how boring it is the whole time, but she sure has fun making Zoe blush and stutter with every other comment.
//
“Madison, I’m trying to study,” Zoe huffs. “You should be too, you know.”
“I’m tired of studying,” Madison tells her. “Can’t we like, do anything else?”
“And what would you like to do?”
Madison’s eyes light up, she smirks.
Right where she wants her, yet again.
“I could think of a few things I’d do to you.”
Zoe blushes furiously, Madison’s name coming off as a hiss on her lips before she’s turning back to her books and pointedly not looking at the blonde.
Madison grins wide, leaning back in her chair comfortably.
//
Hogsmeade becomes a regular activity for Madison and Zoe, as in going together.
This time when they go, Madison slips her hand into Zoe’s like it’s the most natural thing in the world. There’s slight surprise on Zoe’s face, but she doesn’t say a word.
Madison holds her hand for basically the whole trip, with exceptions of entering stores and eventually the pub.
Zoe doesn’t mind, she likes when Madison intertwines their fingers, how someone who outwardly seems so cold feels so warm in her grasp. She doesn’t pull away even when Madison has her flushed and stuttering, like always.
(And sure, maybe Zoe’s friends raise their eyebrows, and she owes them an explanation later.
But Madison’s threatening look is enough for them to mind their own business for now.)
//
Madison swears she’s waiting for Zoe to finally make a move.
She is, but Zoe is just so adorably cautious, so afraid for pulling the trigger and going in.
So Madison gives in.
Zoe is in the middle of explanation some spell or another to Madison when Madison tugs the front of her sweater and pulls her in. Their lips meet and it’s clear Zoe wasn’t expecting this at all, but she melts when Madison kisses her and it’s enough for Madison to know this is exactly where she needs to be.
“Oh,” Zoe says when Madison pulls away.
She looks dazed and utterly adorable and it’s hard enough for Madison not to pin her up against the wall immediately.
“What?” Madison asks playfully, an amused expression on her face. “You didn’t think I was flirting with you just for fun now, did you?”
It makes Zoe laugh before she replies, “You’re such a smart ass” and pulls Madison in for another kiss.
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teachers-are-nerds · 7 years ago
Text
why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic
theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics
i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it
why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home
what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol
i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive
well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk
im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.
i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement
god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit
and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore
i hate that im a whore in general
like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year
the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today
everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e
oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end
idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever
idk
idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol
what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry
yells
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filthytabloid · 5 years ago
Text
TG: i really
TG: dont want to be alone?
TG: i dont have any friends karkat
CG: DAVE.
CG: I AM YOUR FRIEND.
TG: hes all i have
CG: THAT’S NOT EVEN REMOTELY A TRUE THING.
TG: it is
CG: I MEAN I MIGHT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I’M MORTAL.
CG: SO IF YOU’RE GOING SUPER CATASTROPHIZING BIG PICTURE THEN YEAH I’M NOT GONNA BE AROUND FOREVER.
CG: BUT ROSE AND JADE EXIST, DUDE.
CG: THEY ARE ALSO FUNCTIONALLY IMMORTAL.
TG: they dont talk to me any more
TG: ive invited them over a few times
TG: john gets like
TG: jealous
CG: JOHN GETS JEALOUS.
CG: OF YOU TALKING TO ROSE AND JADE.
TG: he
TG: kind of has meltdowns whenever i pay attention to anyone thats not him
TG: but he cant help it
TG: i mean i can understand being insecure im trying to be sympathetic
CG: WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE MELTDOWNS?
TG: he just gets really cold and angry at me
TG: doesnt talk to me
TG: id prefer he talk to me
TG: so i dont talk to anyone else so hell keep talking to me
CG: DOES HE HAVE OTHER FRIENDS? PEOPLE HE TALKS TO OUTSIDE THE RELATIONSHIP?
TG: yeah
TG: mostly other versions of me
TG: which feels great by the way i love it when he does that
TG: i guess im a jealous asshole too
CG: OK, LISTEN.
CG: IF I SAY SOMETHING WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO FLIP OUT.
TG: can i remain perched on the handle even if i dont pirouette
CG: YEAH, THAT WORKS.
CG: ALRIGHT HERE’S THE THING.
CG: TAKE A DEEP BREATH:
CG: JOHN HAS ISSUES.
TG: no fuckin duh 
TG: dont we all
CG: UH, NO.
CG: NOT THE KIND OF ISSUES YOU ARE DESCRIBING, NO.
TG: obviously we cant all have the same issues
TG: but we all do have issues
CG: GETTING COLD AND ANGRY DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A MELTDOWN AT ALL IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT IS VERY EASILY CONTROLLED.
TG: ok maybe i am the one having meltdowns
CG: WHEN HE’S UPSET BECAUSE YOU TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE DOES HE ACT COLD AND ANGRY TOWARD EVERYONE HE TALKS TO?
CG: OR JUST YOU?
TG: just me
CG: OKAY, SEE, THEN IT’S SOMETHING HE CAN HELP.
CG: IF IT WAS TOTALLY OUT OF HIS CONTROL THEN IT WOULDN’T BE DIRECTED AT A SPECIFIC PERSON.
TG: what if its out of his control because its our relationship though
TG: its kinda different from everything else isnt it??
TG: so
CG: I KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU’RE REACHING.
CG: THERE ARE WAYS FOR HIM TO LET YOU KNOW HE’S UPSET WITHOUT BEING A FROTHING DOUCHENOZZLE.
CG: SEE: TALKING ABOUT THINGS.
CG: I MEAN EVEN IF HE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT I’D STILL SAY HE HAS ISSUES BECAUSE BEING THAT FANATICALLY JEALOUS IS KIND OF. UH.
CG: BUT AT LEAST IT’S BETTER THAN BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!
TG: we do kind of talk about it
TG: and like when we talk about it we seem to reach amicable agreements about what needs to be better
CG: SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS AGREE NEEDS TO BE BETTER?
TG: uh
TG: great this is gonna sound shit
TG: that i just need to remember he loves me and that as long as hes here im not alone
CG: …
TG: a lot of agreements about mental actions i need to be taking but not really any other actionable items
CG: OK I NEED TO SAY ANOTHER THING THAT MIGHT FREAK YOU OUT.
TG: im kneading my temples
TG: what
CG: REST ASSURED I’M ALSO KNEADING MY TEMPLES.
CG: IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S ABUSING YOU.
TG: oh fgudjfg
TG: no
TG: no he isnt
CG: DAVE
CG: BREATHE
CG: OK?
TG: no
CG: I COULD BE WRONG, I AM JUST GIVING YOU THE IMPRESSION I HAVE RIGHT NOW.
TG: thats not even remotely whats happening here you cant say that
TG: yeah
CG: OKAY.
TG: you dont know what were like
TG: he leaves me really sweet notes
TG: he buys me flowers
TG: he tells me nice things
CG: I AM STILL ABSOLUTELY NOT CONTESTING THAT YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER.
CG: OKAY?
TG: ok
CG: I’M JUST SAYING THAT A LOT OF THIS IS REALLY WORRYING.
CG: AND I GET THAT IT’S HARD TO SEE THAT IT’S WORRYING OR WHY IT’S WORRYING SINCE YOU’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT RIGHT NOW.
CG: SO I’M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT I’M SEEING. AND YOU’RE RIGHT THAT I AM NOT IN THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP, SO MY IMPRESSION OF IT *MIGHT* BE SKEWED.
CG: PLEASE DON’T SHUT DOWN ON ME.
TG: ok i
TG: i wont 
TG: im still present
TG: what if this is the best i deserve though
CG: IT’S NOT.
TG: it is
TG: i should be happy i even get this
TG: i should be happy to be alive
CG: THAT’S RATIONALIZING.
TG: i think im really just ungrateful
CG: I AM PRETTY SURE THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM.
TG: look maybe i do deserve this in all honesty maybe taking care of john even as he trains for the self-destruction olympics is how i can prove my worth to this world
TG: whos going to do it if not me??
TG: its not abusive if i can choose to leave at any time
CG: DRAGS MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE
CG: THAT’S ALSO NOT EVEN A TRUE THING
CG: AND BESIDES IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CAN’T CHOOSE TO LEAVE!
CG: BECAUSE YOU’RE CUT OFF FROM ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!
CG: AND COMMUNICATION WITH ANYONE WHO ISN’T HIM!
CG: YOU’RE COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON HIM FOR COMFORT AND SAFETY AND SANITY SO OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT GOING TO CONSIDER LEAVING AN OPTION.
TG: ok um fuck
TG: lets not zoom out so much
CG: ZOOM OUT.
TG: theres nothing i can do about
TG: well
TG: i just
TG: i want to make this work can we please just focus on how i can make this livable
CG: YOU NEED TO TELL JOHN THAT YOU’RE UNHAPPY AND WHY YOU’RE UNHAPPY.
CG: AND IF YOU FEEL UNSAFE DOING THAT THEN YOU NEED TO DO IT WITH A MEDIATOR THERE.
CG: AND YOU NEED TO FIND OUT IF HE’S WILLING TO LET GO OF HIS HANGUPS AND CHANGE OR NOT.
TG: i cant
TG: you just have to give me some jedi mindtricks to play on myself so im not as affected when things dont go my way ok
CG: IT SOUNDS LIKE ALL THE RELATIONSHIP TALKS YOU’VE BEEN HAVING HAVE BEEN ABOUT *HIS* ISSUES WITH *YOU*
CG: AND IT’S WELL AND GOOD THAT HE FEELS COMFORTABLE EXPLAINING THE THINGS THAT MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE
CG: BUT THAT HAS TO BE A TWO WAY STREET.
CG: BOTH PARTIES NEED TO BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE.
TG: i cant 
TG: i cant do that
CG: OH MY GOD.
CG: LET ME GIVE THIS TO YOU STRAIGHT.
CG: THIS DYNAMIC CANNOT CONTINUE AS IT IS.
CG: THE RELATIONSHIP EITHER NEEDS TO END OR JOHN NEEDS TO BE WILLING TO FIX HIS END OF THINGS.
TG: karkat i cant tell him that i am unhappy
CG: DAVE.
TG: i have in the past
CG: THERE IS NO COMBINATION OF WORDS YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF THAT’S GOING TO RATIONALIZE ALL OF THIS SO HARD THAT IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
CG: YOU CAN KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF AND IT’S GOING TO KEEP MAKING YOU FEEL FUCKING MISERABLE.
CG: BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO WONDER WHAT YOU’RE DOING WRONG WHEN YOU’RE PUTTING SO MUCH INTO THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOU STILL FEEL SO SHITTY ABOUT IT.
CG: AND HIS BEHAVIOR IS STILL GOING TO HURT YOU BECAUSE HE’S NOT TREATING YOU FAIRLY.
CG: AND THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GOING TO RATIONALIZE HIS BEHAVIOR IS IF YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
CG: AND THAT’S GOING TO MAKE YOU CONTINUE FEELING LIKE A GARBAGE DUMP.
CG: SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. YOU’VE CLEARLY TRIED RATIONALIZING ALREADY AND IT’S NOT WORKING OUT.
TG: karkat i cant talk to him about it and i need you to not make what im about to say a big deal because its not
TG: i have tried to talk to him about it before and he socked me in the face and
TG: told me i was
TG: i guess it doesnt matter
TG: but as long as i dont bring it up he wont hit me i need a solution that doesnt involve talking about how unhappy i am
CG: YOU NEED TO GET OUT.
TG: no
CG: NO DAVE I’M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS.
TG: hes the only thing in this shitty world that makes me happy
CG: COME STAY WITH ME FOR A BIT.
TG: i cant
TG: he might need me
CG: OF COURSE YOU CAN. I HAVE SPACE.
TG: no karkat please listen to me
TG: i cant leave because hes the only person in the whole world that makes me feel okay
CG: DAVE
CG: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE FOREVER.
TG: i dont want him to hate me hes my boyfriend
CG: OR CUT OFF ALL CONTACT.
CG: JUST COME STAY WITH ME FOR A WEEK OR TWO.
CG: GET SOME SPACE TO BREATHE FOR A BIT.
TG: i dont want to be a burden on you
CG: YOU WON’T BE.
TG: how on earth could i not be
CG: YOU’RE GOOD COMPANY AND SLIGHTLY LOWER MAINTENANCE THAN A CAT.
TG: i dont know how to tell john id be staying with you
TG: he might break up with me if i do
CG: I CAN TELL HIM IF YOU WANT.
TG: …
TG: ok
CG: OKAY.
CG: I’LL GET THE COUCH PULLED OUT SO YOU HAVE A PLACE TO SLEEP.
TG: fuck
TG: karkat i cant hes really mentally ill
TG: i have to be there for him
CG: YOU WILL HAVE YOUR PHONE.
CG: IF THERE’S AN EMERGENCY HE’LL BE ABLE TO CONTACT YOU.
CG: AND IF YOU NEED TO GO HOME I WILL COME WITH YOU.
CG: I’M INSERTING MYSELF AS THE MEDIATOR. THAT JUST HAPPENED.
TG: no no no oh god that is literally the exact definition of a burden
TG: i dont want to be that
CG: LITERALLY NOT BURDENING ME.
TG: im sorry for bothering you i gotta go ttyl
CG: IF IT WAS A PROBLEM I WOULDN’T DO IT.
CG: DAVE
CG: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE GET BACK HERE
CG: WHAT YOU’RE FAILING TO REMEMBER IS HOW MUCH I LOVE MEDDLING IN PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIPS GOD DAMMIT YOU ASSHOLE YOU DIDN’T BOTHER ME AT ALL I SWEAR TO GOD
TG: you promise
TG: that this isnt some massive inconvenience to you and you dont hate me
CG: I SWEAR ON TROLL WILL SMITH.
CG: I DON’T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER THIS ABOUT ME OR NOT, BUT I’M PRETTY FORWARD ABOUT HATING PEOPLE.
TG: hate me in a platonic despising way not a you wanna bang me way
CG: I DON’T HATE YOU IN EITHER A PLATONIC OR A ROMANTIC WAY.
CG: YOU WOULD KNOW IF I DID.
TG: ok
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wappydog123-blog · 7 years ago
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Drop dead (camp camp AU) chapter 1
David clutched the bouquet of flowers close to himself cautiously stepping in to the boat. He felt nervous knowing he had trespassed in to a camps territory but it was night so he had hoped no late night campers had saw him. He started paddling to spooky island. The boat stopped once it touched the land of David’s destination. He stepped on to the island, leaves crunching beneath his feet. He made his way towards the gravesite in search of a grave very important to him. He found it as he kneeled down to the gravestone that had “jasper. ????-????”.  Jasper’s name looked like it had dedication put in to it while.the question marks looked like they had been crudely carved. “I hope you’re doing good up there buddy…” David spoke quietly to himself. He stood there in a minute of silence before turning to leave. Before he got far he felt his foot fail to lift as he fell on to a grave. He groaned first looking at the root that he had tripped on and then at the crumbled grave next to him. Immediate panic set in as he looked at it. “GOD DAMMIT I TOLD HIM WE SHOULD HAVE USED BETTER MATERIAL.” David flinched at the shouting voice turning to see where it came from. He was met to what looked like a small demon child despite the fact he had one wing. “U-uh sorry sir.” David squeaked out. “Damn right you’re sorry!” The boy said angrily. “You know what just-” the not stopped mid sentence to take a deep inhale in an attempt to calm himself down. “The names Max.” “D-David.” David replied quietly. “Whats with tacky ads clothes?” The child motioned to the red heads tattered blue shirt and brown shorts. Not to mention his yellow bandana that had a large rip through it. David put his hands ovee his bandana protectivley. “Well I personally think I look good”. “Yeah definitely a personal thing.” The kid snarkily retorted. David rolled his eyes at the childish remark as he got up to leave. “Now hold up a minute. If I remember correctly you broke a gravestone and according to my law in the underworld someone’s gotta repair it and yknow I’m really not feeling up to it and you’re the one who broke it so I mean you gotta find some way to fix this.” Max said while jumping in front of the man. “But I don’t even have a job!” David replied. “Say isnt that camp over there hiring?” Max motioned at the camp that David had earlier trespassed. “Well yeah but-” “well then go get a job there or something stupid. You got a gravestone- a very expensive one might I add- to pay for.” He interrupted David. The 24 year old groaned at the way he was being treated. “hurry along now. I know that you have no problem going on to their campus seeing you trespassed on to it earlier.” Shit. Somebody HAD seen him. David turned to leave before he asked a question. “Are you like a demon or something” “yeah why?” Max sounded a bit anmoyed that the older man hadn’t left yet. “So you’re dead?” “Yep. This is like the basics. I thought you humans knew this.” Max said rolling his eyes. “So how’d you die?” David looked at him with curiosity. “Uhm wow okay first of all, rude. Second off none of your business kiddo.” “Kiddo? You’re the kid. I’m clearly older than you!"David exclaimed. "mentally you are I suppose but ive been alive for more than 5 human lifetimes kid.” Max winked. David let out an aggravated sigh. “Yknow what I’m gonna go apply for that camp now.” David said hurriedly wanting to leave. “Ah good. Be on your way then.” Max said. And with that dvaid made his way to the boat to apply for a job at camp campbell. 🌹🔪🌹🔪🌹🔪🌹🔪🌹🔪🌹🔪🌹🔪 Oof alright ill try to get a ref of David’s drop dead design done soon. For now take this chapter!! ~ newmaker.
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scytherion · 8 years ago
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moulting season (Bird Spirit! AU) [fic]
well, since my tablet pen’s broken, I figure the only thing I can do right now is write.. Here’s a lil piece from the Bird Spirit! AU! I say lil piece, but it somehow ended up being 950 words alkdhalkhshd.. treat it like an intro/prologue? there isnt any romance or whatever yet, more worldbuilding. I’m still a lil rusty with writing, o77 please bear with me
(P.S although it’s called bird spirit au, not everyone’s a bird spirit, rather it’s because You’s the bird spirit and she’s kinda the protag here bc I thirst)
Anyway, enjoy lil grumpy scruffy You!! (for clarity’s sake, she’s called Yo) I’ll write more if yall like it?
@hitomishiga ya wanted to be tagged? this is me yellin about it hehehe
(more under readmore, mobile users)
Yo feels the familiar shimmering sensation when she pulls in her wings as her sneakers touch the asphalt. It doesn’t quite get ‘pulled in’ rather than retreat to behind the Veil, seemingly disappearing from human eyes. It may be six in the morning on a weekend , but Yo figures she can’t be too safe.
She’s only here because Kanan and Chika happened to be in the area, and let’s be honest, she doesn’t really have anywhere else to go, so she might as well catch up with her childhood friends. Not like her soul searching or city-searching has turned up anything worthy. Who knows, maybe this place will be the place. To take roost, build a ‘nest’, maybe find a ‘mate’. Yo glances around the alley, grabbing the trusty dark grey cap from her backpack. Yeah, she can’t be too safe, especially during this season. Yo shakes her head vigorously, not unlike a wet dog, smoothening her hair from its wind tousled state before yanking on her cap. A silvery feather drifts to the ground, and then another, and yet another. Yo grimaces. Ah yes, the joys of moulting season.
“Boy, I never get sick of this time of the year! Absolutely pleasant!” Yo mutters to herself under her breath annoyedly, scuffing her well-worn sneaker on the ground, casually brushing the feathers to a side, making silvery owl feathers mix with the significantly duller grey pigeon feathers which were swept to the roadside. Yo resists the urge to scratch the back of her head for the fiftieth time today. She doesn't exactly want to make the entire pigeon population suddenly seem like they became shinier. Yo hunches her shoulders, casts her eyes down and starts speedwalking around the corner. Six in the morning was probably too early to meet Chika, she’d underestimated her own flying speed, but Yo heard Uchiura had a beach, and it wouldn’t be an unwelcome change of pace. But before she even makes it past the next corner, her shoulder is met with unexpected resistance and her head is forced up. Yo gasps, trying to find the words as her heart thrums with adrenaline (it’s just adrenaline) from the sudden scare (it’s just from the scare) as she sets her eyes on the girl she’s just collided with. In a dark alleyway. At six in the morning. (it’s just from the girl—oh goddammit) ‘Oh goddammit’’s the right phrase, Yo decides, as the girl sits up from the floor cradling her head in her hands, maroon strands of hair everywhere. Yo doesn’t even remember when it happened, but suddenly she’s crouching at her side, ‘sorry’s and ‘oh my god’s and ‘are you okay’s spilling out of her mouth and just generally being completely unhelpful. “Good job, Yo,” Yo grumbles to herself. Yo’s eyes settle on a crooked pale barrette in the girl’s hair, not doubt unplaced from her collision and she figures that the least she could do is to fix it for her. Yet her fingers only graze the smooth surface, before the girl suddenly jerks back, as if stung, and Yo’s kind of shocked. This has got to be a record for how fast someone has run from her, and that’s saying something. The girl scoots backwards on her butt until her back hits the wall, and there she sits, shaking like a leaf in the midst of feathers (oops) staring at her as if she’s seen a ghost. Well, at least her head’s up now? Yo raises a hand slowly, cautiously whispering, “….’Sup?” It feels like trying to approach a scared stray cat. At the simple word, the girl flinches and scrabbles further back, still shaking. Any more scrabbling and she’s gonna ascend that wall like Spiderman. Yo raises one eyebrow. Seriously, what IS her problem? Yo dips her eyes back into the Veil, checking that she’s a human. Yeah, that’s right, she shouldn’t be able to see anything, unless the stupid feathers gave away anything. Not like anyone had ever reacted to her feathers that adversely before. It wasn’t like she was a shapeshifter…  under the Veil shapeshifters took on the form they preferred most, although it was theoretically possible she was one, no shapeshifter in their right mind would spend most of their power just as a human. Shapeshifters wouldn’t have that kind of reaction anyway. Was she allergic to feathers or something? That would make sense. Yo’s probably overthinking this. Dammit, focus on the crisis at hand! Widespread panic right now wouldn’t be in your best interests. You haven’t even met Chika or Kanan yet. Yo’s eyes drift over to a small, pink luggage abandoned at a side. Not a local then. A local-to-be? …Right, back to the matter at hand. Shivering red-haired girl with pale barrettes about to scale a wall without spidey power. Gotcha. She was kind of squeaking now, doing her best impression of a gasping fish. She was trying to say something. Yo admitted she was curious as to what her voice sounded like. Well, not like humans could see through the Veil, except one in a milli— “Y-you have wings? A-and are those talons? Your eyes just changed—“ She babbles, and to anyone else it would look like the strangest accusation. Except it was kind of true. Her voice is soft, kind of high yet not unpleasant, ringing around her ears, reminding her of the gentleness and posterity of spring. (Brilliant and very appropriate observation, Watanabe. Way to read a situation.) Yo pinched the bridge of her nose, felt another silvery feather float down, cheerfully reflecting the emerging sun on its surface, and with it, the pair of golden eyes that followed it, stupefied. Really? One in a million?
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a-panda-reads-act-omega · 8 years ago
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ACT OMEGA PART 10
THE 26/10/16 UPDATE
WOOOOOOO DOUBLE FUCKIN DIGITS YO. This is fantastic. So last time we left off, Dirk and Jake were gay and dumb. Now we are getting into the most anticipated interaction yet, Rosejade. Listen you people, you have no. idea how much I ship Rosejade. It ship it a l o t . . . Oh man it’s really cute. BUT Um YEAH LETS READ IT.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jesus christ this is too cute. Jade is so fucking happy to see Rose aaaaa.
And Rose is just like “jesus jade dont knock me over”
ROSE: -Oof. JADE: nice to see you rose!!!
YES. YES it is.
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Oh my god help its too cute. I love their droopy lil pajama sleeves, it really makes this so much better and im not sure why.
ROSE: (... Nice to see you too, Jade.) JADE: bark!
Goddammit. Ok its clear I have a problem here, Jade is too fucking cute.
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Alright thank goodness, those cute detailed panels were a little too much for me. John’s creeping in the background, and Dave’s hanging out with Karkat. Jade doesn’t seem happy?
JADE: (oh my god im so sorry) JADE: (i cant believe i just did that!) JADE: (thats so embarrassing...)
Jade shut up it was cute.
ROSE: (No harm done.) ROSE: (It’s endearing, in a way.) ROSE: (Though perhaps the charm might simply be a patented Jade Harley trait.)
God, YES. Now Rose is complimenting her, and its probably in a platonic sense considering she has a girlfriend but JEEZ I ship it.
ok I hope my shipping of this doesn’t come off as annoying.
JADE: ..dawwww! :) ROSE: (But you might want to keep your voice down.) ROSE: (I’m not sure why it’s become so quiet, but I am perfectly willing to preserve this lull in activity.) ROSE: (Especially in order to sustain the pleasant conversation we’re currently having.)
Yes it is very pleasant. Very very.
JADE: oh ok! JADE: whoops JADE: (i mean) JADE: (ok) ROSE: (Now that our vocal chords have been successfully wrangled, we can get right into the thick of it.) ROSE: (It seemed like you had something to ask me when you approached.) JADE: (oh um yes i did!) JADE: (but im kind of unsure how to ask...) ROSE: (In moments like these, I think the best advice I can give is to say “fuck it”.) ROSE: (And do it anyway.) JADE: :o
great advice Rose. NOW Jade, what did you have to ask? It’s probably gonna be something extremely platonic and irrelevant to my ships, but you know what I can dream.
JADE: (well geez when you put it that way!) JADE: (heh...) ROSE: (Well?) JADE: (oh right yeah) JADE: (soooooo)
hrnK help
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Oh. Right, it’s the Earth. So what did you need to ask then? What would Rose know about the Earth?
JADE: (i was wondering what you thought we should do about the earth!) JADE: (john said that taking care of it is supposed to be my responsibility) JADE: (and looking at it right now... isnt it a bit more uh) JADE: (watery, than it should be?)
Yeah, it is quite watery. this is the post-scratch earth I believe, so that would make sense. I think, at least. I never know with all this time shit.
ROSE: (It certainly looks that way. It's just another unfortunate consequence of the scratch.) ROSE: (Though I think it might be a slight improvement over the barren ball of basalt our earth became after that cataclysmic meteor shower.) ROSE: (We’ll just have to make do.) JADE: (so thats it then?) JADE: (we just) JADE: (give earth an orbit around a new star or something) JADE: (and find an island to live on?) ROSE: (That does seem a suitable course of action.) ROSE: (We might want to do something about all that ocean, though.) ROSE: (At the very least to make the planet somewhat more aesthetically pleasing. Sprinkle a few continents here and there, you know.) ROSE: (No offense, but one measly island will doubtless get boring after a while.) ROSE: (Let alone be capable of housing what will hopefully one day be a thriving multi-species civilization.)
Oh yeah, there’s gonna have to be a lot more land for all that LIFE. Do they have a way of making more land though? It’s probably not gonna be a problem, it’ll just be interesting to see how they do it I guess.
JADE: (hehehe!) JADE: (i guess youre right about that!) JADE: (although...) JADE: (i kind of wonder about all of our planets here in the medium) ROSE: (What about them?) JADE: (i went through all that trouble to bring them here, and now were just gonna leave them behind?) JADE: (why dont we bring them along?) JADE: (personally im a little attached! :P) ROSE: (Personally, I would rather not.) JADE: (aw) JADE: (well why?)
But Rooose, your land is so pretty! How would you just give that up?
ROSE: (They’re essentially just an overly grandiose and complicated puzzle designed for preteens, presented as personalized celestial bodies.) ROSE: (Some of them even have giant snakes inside them. Ew.) JADE: (pfffft)
pfffft. Those snakes were awesome. And even if they are just a puzzle, that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate what they are aesthetically! I mean, come on Rose. You gotta stop resenting things for what they’re supposed to be! 
JADE: (wow rose i sure did miss you a whole lot)
8D
JADE: (you always have such a smart and funny way of putting things!) JADE: (but will the denizens really still be there if we take them with us?) ROSE: (It was a joke, Jade. One of the many that I dole out on a regular basis, as the shrewd yet whimsical person you say I am.) ROSE: (They’ll likely vanish once we exit the game for good, whether we bring them through to the new universe or not.) ROSE: (They’re game constructs. I can’t see them serving much purpose past the end credits, so to speak.)
Wellll, I don’t know about that! I mean, yeah, they are game constructs and all. But like all the consorts, I think it’s safe to say they’re sentient as well! Sooo... Hm. Why would Jade’s Denizen have wanted her to take them all in the first place? I mean, to save them from Jack I suppose, but what’s the point if they would die from the big “your winner” screen at the end anyways?
JADE: (oh... well that makes me wonder) JADE: (what about the sprites? theyre game constructs too right?) ROSE: (That is a decent point.)
That IS a decent point. I dont wanna lose Jasprose or Davepeta.
Also. Has anybody wondered if there could be a Jasprovepeta^3? Because THAT, would be pretty great.
ROSE: (The kernels, at the very least, are absolutely nothing more than game constructs. They are a core mechanic of the game in their relationship with the maturity of the battlefield and the power of the black and white monarchs, and they don’t even have consciousness.) ROSE: (The sprites, however... well.) ROSE: (I’m not sure.) ROSE: (It’s highly likely they’ll be able to continue existing indefinitely, all things considered.) ROSE: (Though ultimately, it’s up to them whether they’d like to take a stab at life beyond Sburb.)
Well I dont see why they wouldn’t! Aside from maybe Erisol.
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Pfft
ROSE: (Hopefully at least ONE of them will remain here.) ROSE: (Far, far away.) ROSE: (Never to be seen again.) ROSE: (Or be mourned.) ROSE: (At all.) ROSE: (Ever.) JADE: (um???) ROSE: (Nevermind that.)
NO dammit, Jasprose cannot stay behind. She needs to continue to exist and be part of this story because she’s greAT! Though she did say she was no longer interested...
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JADE: (okay well) JADE: (im still kind of unsure about all this...) ROSE: (We’ll figure it out, Jade. There’s really not much to worry over.) JADE: (well... what about uh) JADE: (repopulation?) ROSE: (Like I said. We’ll figure it out.) ROSE: (Some ectobiology will likely be involved.) ROSE: (Which we will all be able to discuss as a group when the time comes.) ROSE: (Rather than right this second.)
Something wrong Rose? You’re kinda seeming a little impatient.
JADE: (um...) JADE: (rose, im sorry, i dont mean to make you mad)
Oh, Jade noticed too
ROSE: (I’m not mad.) JADE: (you seem a little mad!) ROSE: (*sigh*)
Out with it, Rose. Tell us what’s going on in that brain of yours.
JADE: (i just really want make sure i do my job right) JADE: (im supposed to make sure we all have a proper place to live!!) ROSE: (You’ll do just fine, Jade. You’ve always done your best at every task you’ve tackled, and what small miracles you can accomplish with hardly any effort are a reflection of how truly capable you are. We all have faith in you.)
Oh jeez.. Is it just me, or is Rose kinda seeming resentful towards Jade’s achievements. I hope that’s not the case.
JADE: (thanks, but...) JADE: (is everything okay?) JADE: (you dont sound all that enthusiastic) JADE: (did i do something wrong?) ROSE: (No, no.) ROSE: (This is all me.)
Come on rooose, tell us
ROSE: (I missed you Jade, I really did. But seeing you again now brings back unpleasant memories.) JADE: (oh) JADE: (you mean like your mom...?) ROSE: (Less the incident itself and more the horrifically immature child I behaved like back then.) ROSE: (Never was my childishness more apparent than with how I treated you.) JADE: (what! what do you mean?)
Hmm... thinking back at it, Rose sort of did treat Jade as just this object of mystery. Dave was always suspicious of her too, but Rose was seemingly always trying to point out when Jade said something that didn’t add up.
ROSE: (I was never a very good friend to you, Jade.) ROSE: (There were, and perhaps still are, some things about you that made me feel...) ROSE: (Insecure.)
Hmmm again.. I could understand insecurities in the past, but now Rose is practically on the same level as Jade. Is it a personality thing? because that doesn’t seem likely.
ROSE: (And, well. I was very petty, and allowed myself to wallow in jealousy while shoehorning you into another of my many imagined rivalries.)
Oh, damn. I guess I should have suspected something like that, considering how competitive Rose really can be when it comes to just about anything.
JADE: (you were jealous?) JADE: (of me???) ROSE: (You were bubbly and cheerful. Genuinely likeable, unlike me. Legitimately smart, where I more often than not felt the need to pad my intellect with random facts I learned on the internet. You had a multitude of talents and seemed to be able to do almost anything with hardly any effort.) ROSE: (Not to mention, I was under the impression you could see the future.)
DammIT, this is a large part of the reason I wanted them to interact. there was so much misunderstanding between them before, and once Rose finally knew how Jade did the things she did, it just went.. unmentioned.
JADE: (oh yeah... ugh, i thought i was soooo smart :\) JADE: (just thinking about all those dumb vague hints i used to drop makes me cringe!!)
I mean, it’s not like you didn’t always do what was best for your friends. Come on! You gotta feel a little smug when you understand all of the complicated bullshit about sburb. Even though you didn’t, in the end. you still thought you did. Plus you were 13. Nowhere near as mature as you are now. Which I suppose can be said for everybody, really.
JADE: (i totally get it, rose. im really sorry!) ROSE: (Please, don’t be.) ROSE: (Without the haze of envy blotting my vision I can see you for the charming, likeable, caring girl you really are and always have been.)
AGh, dammit this is putting me back into shipping mode nO!
ROSE: (I’d like to think I’ve done at least SOME maturing over the last three years.) ROSE: (Now I’m the smug one with clairvoyance. My, how the tables have turned.) JADE: (welllll...) JADE: (you were always a LITTLE bit smug :P) ROSE: (Oh, only a little?) ROSE: (You flatterer.)
fuCKINg. KISS.
Ah, shit. thats the end of their interaction. NEXT UP, we goooot... Calliope and Jane! Sweet. And as it seems to be the pattern we are following, we get a sneak peek at their conversation in this update.
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JANE: (Pssst!) JANE: (Callie!)
And that’s it. ALRiGHT, sNEAK PEEK OVER.
This was a really fun Rosejade conversation though. We got to learn more about how they felt about eachother in the past, and how those feelings have changed since. And not to mention, some plot details on the plans for the new Earth.
And since I still suck at ending these things, ten parts in, ill seeya next time. might be today again, whon knows. maybe ill go for 5 updates in one day.
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isaacathom · 6 years ago
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like if youre a space fighter pilot, you absolutely dont wanna be driving like, a freighter. and there is definitely a benefit to having a tiny nippy lil bugger, enough room for you and a friend. if you’re going for the small end, there’s no real way to implement a ‘docking’ feature into the ship - there simply is not space. especially since, to me, yo would need an air lock to go alongside a dock, on the off chance that the seal between ships isn’t good enough and you gotta some space vacuum bullshit going on. so you’d need to have room for an airlock in your tiny ass ship.
plus like, doo pilot class ships have escape pods? because then thats a whole other thing. you’ve gone from it being basically a space fighter jet to like.... a sizeable lil thing.unless the whole cockpit just fucking ejects out the thing, but that basically mean if the cockpits bust, youre fucked (which is probably true anyway, right?). captain class probably has a escape pod, which would pretty much just be an entire pilot class ship INSIDE the captain class. which is pretty sick. does mean the captain class is definitely of a notable size.
maybe.... hmmmm. i do want there to be a way for pilot class ships to help each other (the specific usercase is C saving A before the story starts and L(mb) saving S during the story). Because while of cooooourse the captain class can do a lot of shit pilot class cant, its an issue of What if the captain cant help? What if you become separated from the squad? what if the captain class is destroyed? you’d be fucked! there must be a way for pilot classes to ahelp each other directly rather than just sitting with fingers up butt waiting for a med team. You gotta be able to get IN that ship to save a bud. i mean shit, your bro gets the shit hit real bad and you see them fall from their chair and they dont get up on comms like Oh fuck no dude im not floating here in space passively. im checking on my bro, bro!
maybe you can’t tower stack, but you can connect two? that sorta falls apart for medical emergencies since if youre in the one ship with your friend making sure theyre ok, and you ship is attached, theres.... no way for the med ship to also attach. unless the med ship is fucking CHUNKY and able to just straight up bring two connected ships inside of it. that problem doesnt happen for captain class because, big ship, multiple docks. but pilot class? you gotta take in two whooole ships. nahhh dude.
i mean i guess if youre capable of connecting two, you could connect three? does sorta fuck the aerodynamacy a lil but if the ships skinny enough i cant imagine itd be that bad a factor. also its fucking space. i feel like we might be ok for that. as long as the dock section of the ship is secure, its not an issue as such. you could really be SURE if your fellow pilots airlock was fucked until your got in but im sure theres some sort of like, countermeasures in place to minimise bad shit happening if one half of the airlock is uh, Fucked. right? like, sure.
so like... how big do you need it to be? like, 3 rows back or smth? if row 1 is pilot in cockpit. 3 rows isnt super big (something like, idk, 3 metres tops?) and you can offset that length like wings and like, tail thruster bullshit, right? chuck the airlock in the back (could serve dual purpose of docking ships and serving as the exit when you dock at base, with base uuuusually being in earth atmosphere so, yknow, cool shit). that could work. i feel like thats a decent size which doesnt compromise the ships ability to be a nippy little bastard. wait whats the size of an actual fighter jet hoold on
ok i have no idea but i HAVE noticed an issue - the back wing flap. you cant really dock the ship with that there.
god dammit
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