#that means etho or xbcrafted

[driftingdreams]

I put all my ideas in the tags but i reached the tag limit when talking about this so uhhh I'm gonna reblog again

So let’s say that, in theory, a girl wanted to write a MCYT Hunger Games AU. And in that same vein of theory, that said girl needed help, allegedly, assigning districts and roles to characters. Who would be from what district? Who’s from the Capitol? Who are the mentors and who are the tributes? Which crafters are past victors that we’d see in the Quarter Quell? Who’s our President Snow?

Any crafter from any SMP (Hermitcraft, life series, DSMP, OGs, etc) are on the table as long as their role makes the tiniest bit of sense. Go nuts

[horse-head-farms]

i’ve decided to change up my style a bit! expect a little inconsistency over the next few art posts

@hermitrarepairevent gay people for you

[laddertek]

Etho immediately choosing Decked Out 2 (+Tango's reaction) xBCrafted's Season 10 Episode 17 Hermit Q&A

xB: So, question number three. What has been your favourite project, build, and/or event since joining HermitCraft? Etho: That I did? Or that other people did? xB: Uh, just, whatever. Whatever you...y'know, your favourite. Just, whatever. Etho: Oh, that's gotta be Decked Out 2, then. xB: Okay. (laughs) Etho: (laughs) Easy answer! xB: I mean, you only played it a little, though... Etho: Ahh, it was a few months. A few months of my life, there. Got a little bit involved. xB: (laughs) A couple minutes, here and there, you know. Etho: Yeah. xB: I know how you are. No. (laughs) ---- xB: I feel like your answer is gonna be the same as Etho's. Tango: Oh, did he say Decked Out? xB: Yes he did. (laughs) Tango: Ohhhh, my hero! Yeah, Decked Out is definitely my answer. Slam dunk. xB: I was like, 'Yeah, what do you mean? You only played, like, a little bit...' (both laugh) Tango: Well, that -- Honestly, the fact that he said that, means -- means everything to me. That's great, that he values it that high. That's great. That's great. xB: Oh, yeah, yeah. He was like, he was like, 'That's easy. Decked Out 2.' I was like, 'Okay!' (laughs) Tango: (laughs) Fantastic. Good! Good!

[blocksruinedme]

The way he calls him "Beans" could make a grinch's heart grow three sizes.

Honestly xbbeans forming directly bc of demise is perfect bc Joel needs someone to be a bit insane over or he'll die beyond the cubito, and xB is a known babygirl who accidentally makes other men a bit insane over him by merely existing so its a win win for them both. Joel gets someone to obsess over for awhile bc he doesn't have his wife or Jimmy, and xB gets a new silly man to giggle over.

nodding thoughtfully. i see the vision. i think xb is unphased by anything joel does and it only makes joel more insane.

[canyoubelieveitsmc]

24 hour update for the hermit tarot

0. The Fool - 1st is Mumbo with 22.1% (46 votes). 2nd is Grian with 19.2% (40 votes).

The Magician - 1st is Scar with 43.6% (98 votes). 2nd is Etho with 17.3% (39 votes).

The High Priestess - 1st is ZombieCleo with 24.3% (46 votes). 2nd is False with 17.5% (33 votes).

The Empress - 1st is Stress with 44.5% (85 votes). 2nd is Gem with 35.6% (68 votes).

The Emperor - 1st is Ren with 32.2% (65 votes). 2nd is Doc with 24.8% (50 votes).

The Hierophant - 1st is Xisuma with 37.6% (83 votes). 2nd is TFC with 16.3% (36 votes).

The Lovers - 1st is Bdubs and Etho with 29.5% (275 votes). 2nd is Scar and Grian with 25.7% (240 votes).

The Chariot - 1st Tangotek with 42.9% (73 votes). 2nd is Doc with 20.6% (35 votes).

Strength - 1st is False with 31% (63 votes). 2nd is Geminitay with 24.1% (49 votes).

The Hermit - 1st is TFC with 75.2% (224 votes). 2nd is Etho with 8.7% (26 votes).

The Wheel of Fortune - 1st is Zedaph with 23.2% (46 votes). 2nd is Scar with 22.7% (45 votes). There will be an additional poll where Keralis will go against the top 3 winners.

Justice - 1st is Xisuma with 30.8% (82 votes). 2nd is ZombieCleo with 20.3% (54 votes). There will be an additional poll where Welsknight goes against the top 3 winners.

The Hanged Man - 1st is Mumbo with 26.2% (56 votes). 2nd is Grian with 20.1% (43 votes).

Death - 1st is ZombieCleo with 23.1% (66 votes). 2nd is Grian with 20.6% (59 votes).

Temperance - 1st is TFC with 29.5% (72 votes). 2nd is xBCrafted with 17.6% (43 votes).

The Devil - 1st is Evil X with 44.8% (90 votes). 2nd is Doc with 17.9% (36 votes). Evil X and Hels may be removed from my version of this project (I haven't decided yet).

The Tower - 1st is King Ren with 58.1% (122 votes). 2nd is Evil X with 20.5% (43 votes).

The Star - 1st is Bdubs with 29.1% (57 votes). 2nd is Geminitay with 20.4% (40 votes). There will be an additional poll where Impulse will go against the top 3 winners.

The Moon - 1st is Pearl with 63.5% (186 votes). 2nd is Mumbo with 16.7% (49 votes).

The Sun - 1st is Grian with 27.5% (81 votes). 2nd is Scar with 26.4% (78 votes).

Judgment - 1st is tied with Xisuma and Joe Hills with 20.1% (30 votes). 2nd place is Impulse with 15.4% (23 votes).

The World - 1st is Joe Hills with 30.8% (69 votes). 2nd is Zedaph with 17% (38 votes).

A quick reminder of the rules; I will not be repeating hermits (the only exceptions will be the lovers or if I decided to do a group card). That means, whatever they get the most votes for that's what they will most likely be. So be mindful of who you are voting for because I'm not going to have Xisuma on three different cards lol /lighthearted.

Also, I do have the final say. For most of the cards, I will go with what yall choose, but there might be a couple I change! :)

If you want to make art inspired by this, go right ahead! Just please tag me and either put '#hermitcraft major arcana' or '#hermit tarot'. Have fun!!

[leopardmask-ao3]

Day 8 - xBCrafted

Drabble for @hermitadaymay.

“A’ight, people. So there's been a bit of a discussion lately on which hermit is the oldest. Etho, maybe? Stress? 

No. It's me. Good ol’ xB- I mean, what’d you think? The guardian bits are for show? They keep me alive. I've been around since the Before Times. I remember when there were six sentient races, instead of, like... three and a half. I had... I protected one of them. For as long as I could...

...Sorry. I just... It would never have been enough...

...I just gotta make sure... I take extra good care of my hermits now. Yeah.”

[aquaquadrant]

I recently found yours Hels to Pay AU and I love it so much that I'm going to rant about things that I find really neat in no particular order

Helsmits names:

Dr. Clear - MumboJumbo. It took me a while to get it but wow it makes sense seeing as the phrase "mumbo-jumbo" means nonsense and clear is the opposite of that. Also funny considering the coherentness of each one

BadTimesWithScar - GoodTimesWithScar. Classic

AnimosityGaming/Timmy - SolidarityGaming/Jimmy. Wonderful. Animosity and Solidarity are opposites as well so that's cool

bXMiner - XbCrafted. It's the two halves of MineCraft. Also reverses the letters of his name

Bravo - Tango. Derived off the phonetic alphabet I would assume

Dbubs - Bdubs. Reverses the letters of his name

Patho(s? I'm not sure) Lair - Etho's Lab. Ethos and Pathos are Greek words meaning character and emotions respectively. Lair and Lab are similar to each other. And they have similar nickames taken from misreading their names (Etho Slab and Patho Stair). Genuinely my favourite name of yours.

You have other helsmits but I can’t think of more words for them so moving on

Dr. Clear is Alister's spy. He told Bravo about Tango indirectly just before they opened the portal, and also managed to get Atlas to slap him in front of Bravo. He's also incoherent enough (faking?) that Atlas wouldn't consider it

Dbubs pathologic lying? How sometimes he doesn't even realise it? How when he did and said something he didn't mean (I hate your stupid face) he felt bad?

Pathos feeling at home in the crimson jungle. Feeling absolutely horrible for ignoring Dbubs whispers whenever he leaves.

Pathbubs is my new favourite ship but god they're about as healthy as that Panera Lemonade

I'm not saying Tango's theory about confusing the universe is wrong, but where was Tango's Portal meant to go if that was the case? It was an actual Universe Portal, so it's not like someone figured out how to make one and then left it there. I think the Universe made the id display to Bravo as Hermitcraft so he would enter it, because Hels just sounds like a bad place. In my head this means the Universe looked at Tango and Bravo and said, "my bad, you need to switch places"

Now that Tango and Jimmy are in Hels, once the Portal is broken, they will be unable to escape back to Double Life by themselves, as their coordinates will still send them to Hels. They will need to meet up with someone else's doppelganger to get back to Double Life.

Thank you for writing an amazing AU

thank you, i’m glad u like my hels names! it’s something i always spend a lot of time thinking abt, deciding where i wanna pull the name from, whether it’s an opposite thing, helsification, name scramble, or some other significance. clear’s full name is actually clear cut, which is even more of a contrast to mumbo jumbo, and it is technically pathoslair but he goes by patho the same way ethoslab goes by etho, dropping the ‘s’.

ah, pathbubs… i love them sm… man i really need to write more of them sometime 😂 absolutely unhealthy but DAMN they compel me…

as for your questions about the universe portals… i’ll just say that no player has figured out the real explanation for the swap yet. they’re working off what they know and certain assumptions they’ve made; in tango’s case, the assumption that he’s an evil creature who would never have purposefully been brought to hermitcraft. in bravo’s case, the assumption that tango’s mere existence resulted in a massive mistake (even tho plenty of other players have joined hermitcraft without being swapped with their hels counterparts…). they’re silly gooses <3

anyway thanks so much for sharing ur thoughts, i LOVE to hear what y’all are thinking and theorizing about with regards to the fic. it’s like enrichment for me.

[cielcreations]

[MASTERPOST] SCP Files: H3RM1T5 , 3M91R35 , L1F3

Just a masterpost for my SCP AU which will be updated as I continue to write more and more. Also, quick note, "TBW" means "To Be Written". Just cause I do plan to do all of them, it's just gonna take awhile cause I have an irl job. :)

Hermitcraft (Site: H3RM1T5)

Grian - TBW (Planned to be last for lore reasons) Scar - SCP-5C4R Mumbo - TBW Zedaph - TBW Impulse - TBW Tango - TBW [ Coming Soon ] Rendog - TBW Bdubs - TBW Etho - ScP-3[REDACTED] Geminitay - SCP-S14Y3R Cub - TBW Doc - TBW False - TBW Jevin - TBW Joe Hills - TBW Keralis - TBW Pearl - SCP-1UN46 Xisuma - TBW Cleo - TBW [ Coming Soon ] xBCrafted - TBW Hypno - TBW Iskall - TBW Stress - TBW VintageBeef - TBW Welsknight - TBW Skizz - TBW [ Coming Soon ]

Empires (Site: 3M91R35)

Solidarity - SCP-C4N46Y Smajor - SCP-F10W3R5 Joel & Lizzie - SCP-L0V365 Sausage - TBW Fwhip - TBW Pix - TBW Joey - TBW Katherine - TBW Oli - TBW Shelby - TBW

Life Series (Site: L1F3)

Martyn - SCP-L177L3W00D Big B - TBW

[mcytrecursive]

Nomination Overview - 18+ Art

We've had art nominated, but let me tell you, some of it is, as the middle aged ladies at my work used to say, spicy. Check out some of the art for the grownups below, and think about it. Do YOU want to write something based on this?

Title: Frostbite AU Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: fagladder (locksock) Relationships: TangoTek/November (Hels!Tango) Characters: TangoTek, November (Hels!Tango) Genre: Dark Fic, Smut, Whump Summary: Tango, curious about the skulk in s9, makes a clone of himself, intending to use it as extra hands on his season projects. November has other ideas about how the season should go.

--

Title: Late Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: je11y (trashcancanc) Relationships: xB/Xisuma shown, implied xB/X/Keralis Characters: xBcrafted, Xisuma, Keralis Genre: Smut Summary: artwork - xB in lingerie, Xisuma in a collar (and possibly a corset), and implied Keralis walking into the room. Speech bubble says “Ughhh…You are late, Keralis…” 

--

Title: Smallishwood 1x1 Hole Comic Link: here Fandom: 3rd Life SMP Author: fagladder (locksock) Relationships: Smallishbeans/InTheLittleWood Characters: Smallishbeans, InTheLittleWood Genre: Smut Summary: Joel and Martyn get stuck in a hole together on the Limited Life server.

--

Title: suspicious white substance Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: fagladder (locksock) Relationships: not applicable/up to interpretation Characters: xBCrafted Genre: Smut Summary: hrm, suspicious white substance? its probably just glue..... (an image of xBCrafted licking cum off his glasses.)

--

Title: Boat Boys Portal Comics Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: fagladder (locksock) Relationships: Ethoslab/SmallishBeans Characters: Ethoslab, SmallishBeans Genre: Smut Summary: joel misses etho in limlife, so he takes the first chance he can get to have one last time with him, even if that means nauseating him by sticking him halfway through a nether portal wooo

--

Title: Mother Spore Sex Pollen Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: mumbocumbo Relationships: Grian/GoodTimesWithScar Characters: Grian, GoodTimesWithScar Genre: Smut Summary: Mother Spore sex pollens Mayor Scar

--

See something you want to offer or request in the exchange? Horrified that a classic of the genre isn't represented yet (to be fair, maybe we didn't get permission)? Join our discord and sign up today! Nominations close Wednesday night!

[aroaceacacia]

wolfeei posted hypothetical exclusively hermitcraft + lifesteal block wars teams and i thought "wow that's a great idea I should do that ive been invested in both of those servers".

note: the combined rosters of HC and LS are over 40, which is the block wars player limit, so a bunch of people ended up excluded. this is also not an entirely realistic list and mostly just I'd like to see. anyway

SCARLET: falsesymmetry, goodtimeswithscar, pangi, reddoons, rendog

return of renfalse in events! im remembering something red said the other day about his morale/confidence in events being very influenced by his teammates' attitudes & i think ren's inspirational speeches and scar's nonchalant attitude would be a big help with that.

ORANGE: docm77, ijevin, mapicc, poafa, roshambogames

i just think jevin would match the mapicc and roshamenergy. poafa is here bc i think poafa and mapicc in an event together would be fun. doc on thsi team because i was running out of options he wouldnt get scared off if mapicc was mean

GOLDEN: baconnwaffles0, bdoubleo100, geminitay, planetlord, princezam

i really want bdubs + zam (bc of like. twitter), and then i realized planet and bacon would be really fun here, and i think gem would ALSO have fun. so

LIME: cubfan135, ethoslab, mrcube6, rekrap2, vintagebeef

i once watched a minecraft among us stream that fundy showed up to ENTIRELY because etho would be there and he wanted to meet etho. so I propose mrcube, lifesteal's redstoner, with etho, the father of MCYT redstone. cubfan was teamed with cube during the ESPN x games event and they worked well together, so I included him as well. rek was on that team also & is friends w cube so he makes sense. beef is here to have fun and hang out w etho

TEAL: ashswag, joe hills, xisuma, yeahjaron, zombiecleo

the 3 hermits were a little HHH trio for a long time and they were a lot of fun; I think jaron would match their energy well. ash is here because i think hes interested in politics to some level and might be able to match some of that energy. they would NOT win but they would be a lto of fun

BLUE: impulsesv, mumbo jumbo, parrot, pearlescentmoon, spokeishere

spoke being 1 million and mumbo jumbo in the same call would be really funny to me idk what to tell you. 3/5 hc8 boatem + parrot and spoke is an entertaining concept

PURPLE: hypnotizd, itzsubz, vitalasy, woogiex, xbcrafted

vitalasy and subz together bc there would be no way subz would ever participate in block wars otherwise. i think these guys could gel in a call together

FUCHSIA: iskall85, leow0ok, midmysticx, spepticle, stressmonster101

i miss iskall and stress ok! i think mid and stress would get along, and spepticle would be silly and add a bit of extra fun (or confusion). i think iskall and leo would do a lot of the heavy lifting on this team but itd be enjoyable to watch

[dmwrites]

“It’s a fun idea, Impy, but do we really have what it takes to be villains?” Pearl asked. She, Impulse, and Gem were sitting on the bridge that connected Pearl’s megabase to Impulse’s, watching the sun set.

“I mean, we’re the soup group! We can do anything we set our minds to!” Impulse replied, puffing out his chest confidently.

“That’s a nice sentiment Impulse, but if we’re gonna do a villain arc, we need training on how to do it! Most of us have never been the villain in the story.” Gem said, with a side look at Pearl. Pearl rolled her eyes.

“Okay, what about Etho! He’s so cool.” Impulse immediately jumped to brainstorming.

“Have you ever tried tracking that guy down? I once looked for him for three months because he underpaid at one of my shops. He still owes me diamonds I think.” Gem replied. “Ooo, what about Doc! Hasn’t he been the villain multiple times on hermitcraft?”

“He’s too busy with the hivemind.” Impulse sighed. “He doesn’t even have time to do royal tasks.”

“Guys, I think I have an idea of who to call. He may not be a proper villain per say, but he can be quite creepy at times, and I think he knows a lot more then he lets on.” Pearl said suddenly.

“Oh? Who?” Impulse and Gem said at the same time.

——

“You know it’s kinda rude to tie someone to a chair in their own home. Well, maybe not rude all the time but-.” xBcrafted gigged at his own joke, then sighed, looking up at the soup group standing above him. “Hi guys!” His eyes crinkled in a smile.

“How on earth did you manage to get him tied to a chair?” Impulse asked incredulously. “I went to restock my shops for five minutes!”

“Hashtag girl power!” Gem said.

“They asked politely.” xB said at the same time.

“Listen, xB.” Pearl said, and everyone else went silent. “We need information out of you, and you need to understand that we mean business, okay?”

“Okay.” xB replied, looking at each of their faces carefully. “I’m listening. Not like I have a choice, but.”

“We-” Impulse indicated to the three of them, “want to become the bad guys. The villains of the server. We need to know how to be evil, how to make the king quiver in fear at our feet.”

“I’m not evil, guys.” xB said after a round of chuckling. “I’m literally just some dude. I’m literally wearing a hoodie.”

“No, you’re not evil. But I’ve seen you hanging around in trees late at night watching everyone, and we all know scar isn’t the only hawkeye sniper around here. And I wear hoodies too.” Pearl replied, arms crossed.

“I believe the proper pronunciation is ‘hotguy’ actually.” xB said, giggling again.

“Oh my god this guy is useless!” Gem cried, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation, then going over to kick a bush (which she promptly put back).

xB sighed, calming his giggles. His silence was a lot more eerie then his laughter. “Gem, Pearl, Impulse. Love you guys to death, really. But if you’re really going to be capital ‘e’ evil, you’re gonna have to do a little better then this. I suppose I could help, maybe. Lesson one- you have to take out the biggest threat, always.” And in a flash, xB was out of the chair, ropes hanging uselessly across the seat, and a knife pressed against Pearl’s throat.

“Wait, why aren’t I the biggest threat!” Impulse complained.

“Didn’t Pearl kill you quite recently in those death games?” xB asked owlishly. “And let’s be honest here, Impy, your hesitation gets you killed every single time. You’ve got the brains and the brawn, but that rule book of morals you have in that head of yours keeps you chained down.”

“Why you-” Impulse raised his battle axe, but then considered what xB had just said, lowered it again with a grumble.

“Hey, I’m not saying y’all are horrible and will never be villains! You each have something to offer! Gem, for instance, is very good at accidentally killing people. I’ve seen her do it. She’s impulsive, but deadly on occasion. It just so happens that she wasn’t very conscious of me taking her knife when she tied me up, is all. Impulse, you have plenty of mischief within you, but you keep yourself contained. Why? And Pearl…” xB looked up at Pearl and just kind of chuckled, pulling back and taking the knife away from her throat.

“Hey! We could just kill you now!” Gem said. “We don’t need some sassy guy to tell us what to do!”

xB stood in front of the soup group and tossed Gem her knife. “Listen, let’s be honest here. Y’all need me. I can help you get where you need to be. Ain’t that what being a villain is all about? Mutual benefaction?”

“Literally no.” Pearl muttered. She had a hand to her throat, eyes almost slits looking at xB.

“Ah, you’re right. But I think I’m the best y’all could muster up. You wanna go on a villain arc? Okay! But you need help, and you knew that when you came to me. And I will help you. For a price, of course, but I haven’t quite decided what that is yet. How’s that for a classic villainous deal?” xB extended a hand.

Gem and Impulse exchanged looks. Pearl hadn't moved from watching xB.

“Deal.” Impulse said, walking forward and shaking xB’s hand. xB’s hand was cold and wet. It was all quite fishy, to say the least.

[mawofthemagnetar]

THE OFFICIAL HERMITCRAFT SPOOKINESS SURVEY RESULTS ARE IN!

And I’ve made a lovely powerpoint to share with you all! 

I’d offer a link to an actual slideshow but I tried importing it to google slides and it all went to hell in a handcart.

 ID’s courtesy of the lovely folks over at @mcyt-transcribed​ , are under the cut!

Thanks so much to everyone who participated!

Enjoy! 

[ID: A 14 page slideshow titled, "Who is the spookiest Hermit?" formatted to follow the questions from an earlier quiz, "Who is the spookiest Hermit?" "Who is the least spooky Hermit?" "Which Hermit would be a horror movie monster?" and "Which Hermit would be the first to die in a horror movie?" Each category has a slide with the top three voted hermits, a bar graph, and a responses slide. /end ID]

Longer ID under the cut! And by long, I mean REALLY long! 

[ID: 

Photo 1: In a spooky font centered on a dark gray background reads, “Hermitcraft Spookiness Survey! Results and witty rejoinders courtesy of you, yes you!” Underneath the title reads, “A survey by MawOfTheMagnetar with image descriptions proved by @mcyt-transcribed!” There are minecraft skins from HermitCraft’s season 7 halloween celebration in each corner, Keralis in his green ghoul head in the bottom left, Zedaph’s black and white ZedDeath. In top left, a red tinted [head] In top right, and a black tinted [head] In bottom right

Photo 2: Titled: “Who is the Spookiest Hermit?” in the same spooky font.

On the left in a text box and normal font reads, “Doc and Cleo were closely tied through most of the survey, Doc only managing to pull through at the last minute to be crowned the spookiest of all the hermits!”

On the right is a text box which reads “Joe, who spent most of the survey at the back of the pack, surged ahead in a surprise upset and stole a richly-deserved bronze!”

On the smallest podium is Joe Hills, followed by ZombieCleo in 2nd, and DocM77, edited to wear a crown, on the middle and highest podium in 1st place.

Photo 3: A bar graph titled, "Who is the Spookiest Hermit?"

The bars are red and read, “Doc = 143, ZombieCleo = 139, Joe Hills = 72, Etho = 66, Cubfan = 48, xBCrafted = 36, Keralis = 35, PearlescentMoon = 27, BdoubleO = 22, Grian = 19, Hypno = 17, Scar = 14, Tango = 14, Xisuma = 13, FalseSymmetry = 12, Zedaph = 12, VintageBeef = 11, StressMonster = 10, TinFoilChef = 10, Welsknight = 10, GeminiTay = 8, iJevin = 7, Mumbo = 3, Rendog = 3, ImpulseSV = 1, Iskall85 = 1."

Photo 4: Titled, "Selected Responses:" There are screenshots of selected text in white boxes scattered around the image.

Tango’s Minecraft face hangs from the top of the photo upside down above the text, "I can imagine Tango crawling all over my ceilings and walls in the night."

"You are nothing to Cub. I am nothing to Cub. Cub sees his goals and sees what stands between them and him and there is soon to be an empty path in his wake. (Honorable mention: Joe because he could probably pull off the next creepypasta ARG to sweep the web if he really wanted to and I am telling you right now that the seams would be nonexistent. I've seen him get soda in his beard and talk for at least ten minutes straight about rhinestones though so)"

Zedaph peeks out from the left of the photo to the left of, "zedaph is not spooky he just feels like he Would do a horrifying experiment on you"

"We all know it's Cleo. The rest of them are undeniably pathetic (endearing) but Cleo can and will kill you"

Gem peeks out from below, "Gem gets a ranking here because she's SO unassuming, but she will murder."

"Pearl seems fine at first, and then she's not."

"If you breathe on cleo wrong she would murder and she'd be right for it"

xB peeks out from the right of the photo between the next two messages. "xB is just really elusive to me lol, ive watched stuff of his but he's just like so weirdly spooky to me regardless of what he does."

"xB is mostly unsettling. like, have you seen the guy? i think it was in one of solarflare's stories where they described xB's smile as the kind of smile you expect to come with sharp teeth or red eyes or smth but it just Isn't There. and that feels Wrong. my guy feels Wrong because he's too notmal when you expect him to be more abnormal."

"If I saw doc as the fanartist depict him literally anywhere at night I would be shaking in my boots. That's the terminator. I'm out."

"have you seen joe hills."

"Keralis walks like he's going to murder you."

Keralis is below, "keralis isnt the scariest hermit, but he does have the most threatening vibes. i might take more damage by angering doc or existing in cub's vicinity when he's in a silly goofy mood, but keralis i think has the most 'theres something lurking behind those eyes' vibes, and i dont know why. i can see why he was assigned eldritch by the fandom"

"doc would be the best at ruining your life so while he isn't a scary guy he could be! he just isn't! keralis scares me.”

Photo 5: Another slide formatted with a three tiered podium titled: "Who Is The Least Spooky Hermit?"

On the left of the slide, "Mumbo was the runaway favourite to win this category right from the start, and sweeps the Wet Tissue award without breaking a sweat!"

On the right side of the slide, "Gem, in an upset so surprising an amendment had to be frantically made, apparently took third place! Congrats to her! She’s a soggy cat too, folks! “

Gem is on the 3rd place podium, Bdubs in 2nd place, and MumboJumbo, edited to wear a crown, in 1st .

Photo 6: Another bar graph titled "Who is the Least Spooky Hermit?”

"MumboJumbo = 114, BdoubleO = 94, GeminiTay = 75, Xisuma = 72, GoodTimesWithScar = 69, Zedaph = 39, StressMonster = 33, Rendog = 32, ImpulseSV = 28, Iskal185 = 25, Etho = 22, Keralis = 19, Joe Hills = 17, Grian = 16, TangoTek = 16, VintageBeef = 16, TinfoilChef = 12, Doc = 8, FalseSymmetry = 7, PearlescentMoon = 7, Welsknight = 7, iJevin = 4, ZombieCleo = 2, Hypno = 1, Cubfan = 0, xBCrafted = 0."

Photo 7: Titled, "Selected Responses:" There are screenshots of selected text in white boxes scattered around the image.

"bdubs my little scromblo skrunkle skrinkly diddly doo"

Mumbo is between the next two messages. "This man is a wet cat in human form, he is a webkin that has been soaked in milk and thrown at the nearest wall, he is the saddest most pathetic sounding squeak toy to ever be squeezed" and "mumbo jumbo the slowly boiled frog of hermitcraft"

"Mumbo is just a human chocolate éclair tbh"

"Tango looks like my dad and I believe I can take my dad in a fight so its fine"

Scar is in the bottom left corner to the left of "Yes I put Scar as most and least spooky. He has the range"

Wels is to the right of "Wels could walk into my room covered in blood and I'd laugh at him. His boots go 'cling clong'."

"the only thing that scares me about doc is the potential of him saying some dumb shit on twitter and me having to see it all over my tumblr dash for some reason. how is he supposed to scare me he doesn't even know how to roleplay without godmodding <3"

Below the previous text is a screenshot of a tweet that reads: "Docm77 @/docm77 'Day 1 at the nude spa. I won.' 3:02 PM - Sep 17, 2020."

"Wet paper towel man. Pathetic wet cat that's been left out in the rain. Man fucking confused himself with a piston. Ppl keep making xisuma the 'scary admin' but i think hed be startled by his own reflection."

"Xisuma is bitchless and literally has the vibes of a fucking cotton ball but by god is he a dude lol"

Grian's head overlaps on the word "threatening" in "Sorry Grian you're a Problem but you're not threatening"

Photo 8: A bar graph titled, "Which Hermit would be a horror movie monster?"

On the left of the slide, "Doc clinches the crown again, with Cleo right behind nipping at his heels! A richly-deserved silver for Cleo and another easy W for Doc."

On the right of the slide, "Another surprise upset came in the form of Bdubs nudging out established spook machines like Ren and Grian to clinch the bronze for himself! Soggy and Scary simultaneously- Bdubs can do it all, folks!"

Bdubs is in 3rd place, ZombieCleo in 2nd, and DocM77, edited to be wearing a crown, in 1st.

Photo 9: A bar graph titled, "Which Hermit would you most expect to be the monster in a horror movie?"

"Doc = 120, ZombieCleo = 105, BdoubleO = 53, Grian = 43, Rendog = 38, Keralis = 35, Etho = 29, Joe Hills = 25, PearlescentMoon = 22, Cubfan = 21, xBCrafted = 20, TangoTek = 18, Scar = 17, Zedaph = 13, MumboJumbo = 12, Xisuma = 12, GeminiTay = 10, iJevin = 10, VintageBeef = 8, Falsesymmetry = 6, ImpulseSV = 5, StressMonster = 5, Hypno = 4, Iskall85 = 3, Welsknight = 3, TinFoilChef = 2."

Photo 10: Titled, "Selected Responses:" There are screenshots of selected text in white boxes scattered around the image. Up in the top is a message from the creator, “Shoutout to the multiple novels I got in the responses for this one!"

"gem's like the overly friendly homeowner who turns out to be a serial killer in the third act. i dont actually think keralis is all that scary, but i do think he has too many joints and his eves are a little bit too wide."

Scar is to the left of, "scar is a monster but in a "you forgot to read the fine print. my friend" kinda way"

"zedaph is not the monster. he's the man behind the monster the victor frankenstein, except he doesn't regret his crimes against god and science. now, i could've chosen cub, but cub's a force of chaos who does science, whereas zed's a scientist who does chaos. and yes, chaos is a good motivator, but it doesn't necessarily lend itself to long term villainy. (honorable mention to tango, who is more of a fantasy/rpg villain than a horror villain.)"

Cub is below, "Imagine horror movie monster. Evil Ghost. Evil Scientist. Evil Vampire. Not inherently evil but perceived to be as such Man- eating alien. CEO of oil company. They couldn't all be played by the same guy, right? Wrong. Welcome to my perfect reality where Cub gets to be every evil guy and is rewarded handsomely for it"

"ren. were woof"

"have you seen joe hills."

"All feral"

Grian is above, "i feel like grian'd be the ominous figure staring at you from the end of a darkened corridor"

"gem is the final girl. nothing else to be said she has killed and will kill again! (good for her!!!!)"

Impulse is below, "impulse may be a canon demon. but hes simply to kind to be evil. also let him rip people apart"

"ehk. also the sight of keralis in a dark hallway staring directly at me would kill me instantly" Keralis' eyes are framed by the previous and next message, making them pop and hiding his mouth

"keralis and scar would be in a fucked up horror movie with the uncanny valley thing going on, like a parasite / alien imposter movie"

Photo 11:  

Another slide formatted with a three tiered podium titled: "Which Hermit would be the first to die in a horror movie?”

On the left of the slide, " To the surprise of absolutely nobody on planet Earth, Scar sweeps this category without an issue. He’s here to have a good time and he’s having it in Leatherface’s front garden. " 

On the right side of the slide, "In even less surprising news, the gold and silver winners in the Wet Paper Bag event also podium for this one! I’m as shocked as you are." 

Mumbo is on the 3rd place podium, Bdubs in 2nd place, and Scar, edited to wear a crown, in 1st.

Photo 12: 

A bar graph titled, "Which Hermit would be the first to die in a horror movie?" 

“GoodtimeswithScar = 134, BdoubleO = 107, MumboJumbo= 81, Xisuma = 48, TangoTek = 31, Zedaph = 27, Grian = 22, Keralis = 22, Rendog = 18, Joe Hills = 17, ImpulseSV = 10,  Iskall85 = 9, Etho = 7, Stressmonster = 7, iJevin = 6, Cubfan = 5, Falsesymmetry = 5, GeminiTay = 5, VintageBeef = 5, Welsknight = 4, ZombieCleo = 4, Doc = 3,  PearlescentMoon = 2, xBCrafted = 2, Hypno = 1, TinfoilChef = 0.” 

Photo 13:  

Titled, "Selected Responses!" There are screenshots of selected text in white boxes scattered around the image. In the background is a faint image of Scar. 

“Have you seen Scar”

“Listen, I know the obvious answer is Mumbo. HOWEVER, for peak wet cat-ness, I think he needs to survive a few murders and get properly traumatized. Going off classic horror movie tropes, the first victims are usually the popular kids, and Jevin has big jock energy.” Jevin is hanging from the top of the image.

“Scar….scar. *sigh* Scar.”

“Keralis’ maidenly behaviour puts him in the danger zone. The bimbo teen girl always dies first.”

“Sorry impulse. they say virgins always die first.” 

“impulse: white man from the desert. there's no way he doesn't go into the forest/room that he hears strange noises from” 

Impulse in his normal skin is looking from the side of these messages. 

“They would all die first.” 

“Its Scar. Need I say more” 

“welsknight for sure is gonna go out looking for the monster/bad guy to "protect" the others and ends up getting killed first” 

“ I think Scar will die first in such a comical way that the horror movie genre shifts into horror-comedy for Scar’s death” 

“Scar always dies first.” 

“sorry Ren, but I haven’t checked doesthedogdie.com yet and I had to make some guesses” Ren is poking out of the side next to this message.

“I know Solidaritygaming isn't here but it would be him. they'd invite him to the haunted forest and he'd die a terrible death”  Solidaritygaming is emerging from the corner with several white question marks over his head.

“bdubs would immediately start screaming if left in an unlocked fully furnished upkept basement with the lights off” 

“Scar” 

“Bdubs would survive everything cause he would go to sleep and wake up after the horrors were over.” 

“zedaph voice: "oh hey what does this monster do? fascinating!" (immediately dies)” 

Photo 14:

White text on a black background. The text reads “That’s all folks! Thanks so much to everyone who participated! It was a blast!”

/End ID.] 

[medusasstory]

what hermit you should fight IRL

Mumbo Jumbo: I mean yes, he’s a giant, and yes, according to the lore irl he’s trained in martial arts. But have you seen him? I bet you could distract him with a word puzzle and take him down in a single sucker punch.

Docm77: The GOATFATHER will not pause until you are destroyed. It might take a while, but he will go without sleep or rest to enact his judgment. DO NOT FIGHT DOC.

Bdubs: Uhhhhh. So have you ever looked at a man and went “that guy fights dirty”? Bdubs is 5′7″ of pure spite and he will wear your head as a trophy.

Joe Hills: Oh yeah you’d beat Joe in a fight. But you wouldn’t WIN the fight. He’d write a poem about it and his chat would jeer at you and somehow you would still feel bad. Consider not fighting Joe.

ZombieCleo: She’s an elementary school teacher. Not only should you not fight Cleo, I bet she knows enough about how to defuse a fight that you physically can’t fight Cleo. (But if she decides to throw down you lose.)

Ethoslab: DO NOT FIGHT ETHO. The man is a cryptid. For all we know he’s a werewolf. Plus I’ve seen him play Among Us, you would not come out of that fight looking or feeling good. Do not fight Etho.

GoodTimesWithScar: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FIGHT SCAR. You would win, and then I personally would manifest in your house to beat you up for hurting the star wars minecraft wheelchair-using man. And then Jellie would bite you.

TangoTek: Yeah I bet you could take him mostly because he would feel bad about fighting you. You know who wouldn’t feel bad about shanking you though? Mrs. Tango. Do not fight Mr. TangoTek.

Impulse: If anyone can find a way to make totems of undying manifest in the real world I believe it’s gonna be Impulse. You will not win this fight.

Zedaph: Picture this. You’ve won the fight with Zedaph because he had his headphones on and didn’t see you coming. You’re taking a breath of victory. And then the bizarre contraption he build in the night to wake him up on time malfunctions, exploding and killing you instantly. Do not fight Zedaph.

iJevin: Another hermit where it’s vital that you approach while he’s distracted. While he’s deep in the code, you get in one punch and flee. Why do you flee? He came second in the head games, remember. He can grind out a fight, if you make it worth his while (maybe don’t make it worth his while).

WelsKnight: approach a fight with wels with caution. He was in the military and probably like actually knows how to fight properly. Which might mean he would feel bad about fighting a random person? Either way I wouldn’t risk it. And his stans will murder you.

RenDog: You will win the fight with Ren. And then he’ll tell you you did a great job and you’ll feel guilty, like you should, you monster.

TFC: WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING GRANDFATHER MINECRAFT? JUST LET HIM MINE AND READ HIS FANFICTION. 

VintageBeef: Look. If you see a six-foot man who keeps donkeys and that beard and you want to fight him, I’ve gotta respect your dedication to the battledome. I don’t think you’re gonna win, though.

Keralis: This is what I know about Keralis— he is constantly sending other people gifts from sweden, and Etho went through an inventory of anvils trying to kill him while Keralis panic-sang and swam away from death (successfully). This is a high-risk, low-reward fight.

Xisuma: So on the one hand he’s a cryptid, but on the other what we do know of his IRL form is that he’s startlingly buff, and a musician. You ever seen a band member fight? They know no honour or reason. Don’t fight Xisuma. 

Hypno: Have you seen this guy hyperfocus during a grind? You could bring an entire mariachi band to the beatdown and I don’t think he’d notice. Go for it, you can totally fight Hypno.

XBCrafted: So yeah, you could totally punch XB, but I’m not actually sure you could fight the man, as his vibes are so extremely chill I’m not sure he’d fight back. So you’d just be beating up XB. Questionable.

Grian: He’s killed Dream. Twice. Grian has an immaculate sense of ambush and a great deal of personal luck. Want to start a fight that turns into a protracted session of “why are you hitting yourself”? Then totally fight Grian. Otherwise I wouldn’t recommend it. 

False: DON’T FIGHT FALSE. You ever see her evicerate a troll? She is the Queen of Heads, Hearts, and Body Parts. DO NOT FIGHT FALSE. 

CubFan: Cub’s idea of a great day outside is on the golf course, so he can probably out-walk you but I’ve yet to meet a golfer who can fight. So totally fight him. Hey, you don’t have any businesses you don’t want taken over or bought out, right? Cause if sooo.

Iskall: I am honestly torn because on the one hand I do believe that Iskall doesn’t look like an IRL fighter. On the other hand his personal chaos field is just so high that venturing into it with hostile intent seems like a bad idea.

Stressmonster: Hey so funny story, her day job is as a personal trainer. She will destroy you, and laugh the whole time. Don’t fight Stress.

[votederpycausemufins]

I'm so close to being done with college, but it was still rough which is why it's been months since I've posted any writing stuff. more writing should happen sooner than that though with break coming up.

Anyway, enjoy another chapter of the scattered au fic

Coming back from visiting H- J- …the experiment. The two main Watchers were too busy discussing the new information they had learned to notice the mess that was the meeting room. At least not until one of them had their robe grabbed and yanked forward. “Zemunis! Just the Watcher I wanted to see! I have some complaints!”

“Xelqua, what are you doing?”

“I just said. I have some complaints! And just for you. Yuslep was in charge of building and world planning. You were the one setting it all up and that’s what I have complaints about!”

Zem looked over to the other Watchers. The three of them looked exhausted and oddly enough, covered in stray bits of hay for some reason. They would have looked more, but then they were shoved into a chair and papers were spread out in front of them. “Alright, explain.”

Zem tilted their head before looking over the papers. It was a few lists of plans, but specifically on top were a few of the files they specifically wrote up for each of the subjects. “About these? We wanted a thorough look at each of the players being included to see which biome would fit them best, mob beings and affected alike.”

Everyone jumped as Xelqua slammed his hands on the table. “That’s not what I’m talking about. Look them over again!”

Rolling their eyes, Zem looked down again. At first nothing jumped out, but then they realized there were some pairs layed out. “You pulled out the files of False and Stress… as well as xB and Iskall.”

“That I did. I also pulled the files for Bdoubleo100 and Welsknight because of the special circumstances you put them in.” Then some more files were put down that, based on the markers put on them, were not part of the Scattered Experiment. “You have too much overlap! And you’re prioritizing the stuff people sort of know about over what they don’t. You shoved Cubfan135 into a mineshaft nowhere near any cactus or tumbleweeds, and he doesn’t even need to deal with vultures. I’d allow xBcrafted in the desert as well if you put him close to an oasis or something. Plus we just finished up with the swamp and are working on the birch forests. Not to mention no one is in the savanna. It’s like you didn’t even think this through!”

“Alright, calm down.” Yuslep carefully moved towards Xelqua, who just glared at them. “Or maybe not.”

“We’re still very close to the start. And a few changes so early can’t be that harmful, can they?”

Zem sighed, looking over to Yus briefly before standing from their chair. “To be honest, we just finished discussion with someone else.” Even though Xelqua narrowed his eyes, Zemunis continued. “We were already planning to alter a few things, so if you can prepare what is needed for your new alterations by the time we are ready for our own, then by all means, go ahead. And that means before the next nutshell or whatever they’re calling it now.”

Immediately Xelqua brightened and then gathered up all the files, rushing out of the room and leaving a stray feather or two behind. With him gone, Zem and Yus were able to look at the other Watchers. “So. What happened while we were gone?”

.

.

.

Etho wasn’t entirely convinced he had opened his eyes. After discussing more with Pearl, she started having a bad headache, leaving him on his own. With little else to do, Etho broke some fully grown amethyst crystals and used them to chip away at the geode. He managed to create a hole leading into the cave, but forgot about the monsters that would be on the other side. Before dying, he quickly gathered a few more crystals to block up the hole, but in an obvious enough way Pearl would notice it later, then died to the mobs.

Respawning had left him in a different cave, at least based on how the walls felt, it was probably a cave. There was no light for him to tell, except for maybe a few far off dots of what might have been glow lichen. And even with them, they sometimes seemed to disappear, likely due to something else getting in the way.

Etho was walking carefully, never sure if he was about to walk off a cliff or something. He was listening carefully, expecting to hear a monster or even another hermit, but instead it was quiet. Far too quiet with how dark the place was. But it only took a few more steps for Etho to figure out why.

There weren’t a lot of spongy things in caves. Moss in the lush caves maybe, but then it should be lit up by glowberries. Nothing else really should have been around that would result in the same feeling, but moobloom also weren’t really supposed to be around either. Getting ready to move as quickly as he could, Etho snapped his fingers, watching as a moment or two later, the cave was lit up slightly by a sculk.

Moving away and pulling out his comm, Etho went through the messages again. Xisuma had been killed by the warden plenty, but had no deaths recently. Whether that was because he escaped, or something else, Etho didn’t know. But what he did know was that the Warden was nearby due to the heavy footsteps coming his direction, likely due to his snap.

Though he could sneak around and dodge a few times if it came to it, Etho knew that the Warden didn’t just hunt based on sound, but smell as well, so there was no way he was getting away from this thing alive. So that meant he was on a timer to try and find Xisuma.

Based on the lack of death messages, there was a low chance that Xisuma would be in the area. And the longer since the last death, the further he was likely to be. If Etho had a consistent spawn, he might have been able to find the admin, but instead he had one chance. 

Etho moved as far as he dared from the Warden before worrying it would catch his scent and booked it. He heard the sound of a shrieker before yelling out into the caves, hoping for the best. “Xisuma! If you can hear me, I’m helping the hermits as best I can. I’m cycling through spawns and-“

Before Etho could finish his message, he found his foot caught, leading to him falling over from the sudden forced stop. Then moments later, the Warden caught up, killing him in a single hit. Even after respawning, he was still reeling from the strength of the blow. It wasn’t until some nearby bleating reached his ears that Etho thought to actually look where he respawned. 

Compared to the rest of his respawns, this one was… different. Each of his spawns had always been in some natural generation. The closest change to that had been the odd monuments at each spawn and the bed Grian had gotten ahold of or possibly the woodland mansion since it seemed to have an alteration or two. But this was… a lot different. All the goats on the cliff where he spawned were all stuck in fences, and there were a few torches scattered about, two of them specifically on either side of the start of some stairs leading down. 

Etho carefully descended the stairs, wanting to make sure he didn’t die on the way and get sent who knows where. About halfway down, he noticed a small house set up. It wasn’t really a hermit sized starter base, but this wasn’t the most normal of seasons. And even then, there were a few hermits who would create something like this to start. 

Etho ran through the options. He was focused so much on the build to try and narrow the options down, not wanting a repeat of what happened with Ren if he surprised the hermit inside. But a quick look at the old death messages answered Etho, Doc was the only one knowingly having interacted with the mobs.

Having a creeper explode him was not really on Etho’s list of things he would want to happen, so instead of just walking in, he took his time to knock first, waiting to see if the door would be opened for him. After waiting a few moments, it did indeed open, but instead of Doc, Etho was surprised to see Grum on the other side.

Before Etho could say anything, the bot grabbed his hand, leading him inside. “I’m glad we got the stairs finished up! I was sure you’d end up at Doc’s spawn soon enough. Oh by the way, Doc’s out mining. I’ve been busy farming and chopping wood.”

Etho stayed quiet. He didn’t recall seeing a farm outside, nor any nearby trees nor their foliage decaying. It also didn’t immediately seem to be that there were farms inside, but once Grum started dragging him around to show off the place, there were a pair of farms for crops and trees made in the basement. So at least that was one question answered, but now Etho had a new question in the form of why there were so many torches around. Even if things hadn’t been changed with the way monsters could appear, this was still overkill.

Etho didn’t say anything right away, not wanting to interrupt Grum as he rambled on about what had been happening. Apparently he had only recently paired up with Doc and they had quickly built the starter house as a dirt hut, but had been building it up a bit where there was daylight.

“Any reason why you can’t work in the night? I mean, your respawns are pretty close by.” Etho asked, not knowing why Grum had a bad reaction to the question right away. But the answer to both questions was answered somewhat when Grum took Etho over to one bed in the room. When he first entered, the ninja assumed the Jrum was simply sleeping. But now that he was closer, he could tell that wasn’t the case.

“What happened to them?” Etho asked, looking the robot over. They were made of redstone, so if it were a problem there, he had a chance of fixing it. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to be the case, especially with Grum’s answer.

“He didn’t respawn right. Dad… disappeared, and our previous respawns were only okay because he was around. After we saw that there was a way to send messages in chat, we-“

Etho stopped the bot there. “Wait? The chat is working again?”

Grum shook his head. “No. It’s not. We just used what’s there. Death messages show up, but remember renamed items will have their name shown if they were used to kill someone. A different person that managed to get in here named Geminitay figured it out kinda. Then Jrum and I kinda cheated a renamed snowball… Though maybe that’s what caused it. Either way, respawns might not work for me so I’m stuck inside.”

“Okay. Wait but what about Doc?” Etho asked, now wondering why he wasn’t around, especially if the situation wasn’t the best.

“He’s out mining. We’re getting iron and stone and stuff for a more accurate messaging system. I’m sure not many people are looking at chat since it’s not working, but Impulse is out of his death loop so people will probably notice when it seems like there’s a new one.”

“Good thinking.” Etho complimented the bot, patting their head. “Now can you give me an update on what you’ve noticed going on?”

Grum nodded then actually grabbed a book out of his inventory. “Doc let me use our leather for this because he thought it was easier than fighting with chat every time if I’m busy or something.”

“Right, since you’re sort of just… linked with the chat.”

Grum nodded in agreement before opening up the book. “It still helps to have the stuff not there written up for me too. So like theories or interactions. Like meeting with you is in here. Oh, can I hear some stuff about what you’re doing to add to here? I mean, after I tell you what we’ve been doing, and only if you’re okay with it.”

“Yeah, knowing more means we’re more likely to help everyone out. Including your sibling.”

“Thanks.” Grum smiled, then flipped through the book. “Okay, so right after dad kinda… killed you, we shoved him off the mountain and he went back into bird mode. We had some issues where he didn’t want us in his nest, but we sort of forced our way in there so our joints didn’t freeze.” Then Grum turned the page. “Uh, to sum this part up, that thing that dad kinda killed you over? Well based on what Doc said, one showed up at his spawn the same time the one on the mountain changed for us.”

“Well I know I saw a few at other spawns, so it must mark them.”

Grum quickly scribbled in a note about that, thanking Etho for the information before continuing. “Well the thing changed with a message in a different text, but it said ‘step one, all twenty-eight reach the origin’. But one thing was that it sorta looked like it was going between twenty six and twenty eight. And I know that Jrum and I are here, but it doesn’t list us as being present on the server. Plus there’s the other two, Geminitay and Pearlescentmoon.”

“Yeah, I met Pearl. She’s stuck in a geode. The name isn’t familiar to you?”

Grum tilted his head. “No. Should it be?”

Etho just shrugged. “Apparently she’s an old friend of your dad. But I know he decided to bring you along pretty late and… well all of this happened, so makes sense you might not know.”

“If that’s the case, then someone here might know the other person.”

“I’ll see if I can get the chance to ask around. Not everyone stuck to their spawns and I don’t really know which direction they went in.”

“Yeah, that does kinda make it hard to ask them, huh.”

Before anything else could be said by either one of the pair, both of them looked over to the sound of the door opening, Doc returning from his mining trip. “Well then. Looksss like we have a guessst.”

.

.

.

A lot of thoughts were going through their head after Bdubs left. They considered that Bdubs might not come back unless he died. They considered that Bdubs would tell Scar about the ‘strange person’ that was also at his spawn and Scar would manage to recognize them instead. They worried that even if both of them wanted to come back, they wouldn’t find this place.

Evil Xisuma knew they were only here because they were planning to mess with the hermits themself. A number of them had already packed up, prepping for moving to the next season. Because of that, they were more off guard and vulnerable. Some of those included Iskall, Jevin, Cleo, Ren, and worst of all, Scar. And now Scar essentially held Ex’s life in his hands.

With nothing else to really do but wait, Ex pulled out their comm and read through the messages. Most of them were deaths of course, though there were a few more achievements than before. But they didn’t really care about those. Then they remembered that, duh, they could filter the wall of text, so in a few swipes and taps, the whole thing was condensed down to the death list of just one hermit. “Fall, fall, dragon, magic, dragon, dragon, out of world, dragon, explosion, fall, dragon, fall, enderman, fall, fall, fall, dragon, magic…” the list continued, but by the end, Ex sighed. It looked… okay. What might be there wasn't. At least not yet. There was still time of course, but there being more time could end up being just as bad. If things didn’t change for the better, they would start changing for the worse.

“So you’re Xannes?” A voice asked, making Ex jump, both from the suddenness as well as the unfamiliarity with the name. Either way, the jump caused them to slip off of the gateway thing and start falling into the void. They panicked more from that, watching as Scar didn’t immediately go after them, as well as knowing if the void killed them, their brother would know they were here. Everyone would. And Scar and Bdubs would know who ‘Xannes’ actually was.

Not wanting that to happen, Xannes started wrestling with the borrowed armor, hoping maybe, just maybe, if they could do it before reaching the void’s death point-.

Just as suddenly as Scar’s voice had appeared, Scar himself had grabbed onto Ex’s arm and pulled them up, the hacker nearly falling from the hermit's grip from the whiplash of the momentum change. But he held on, slowly helping them through the end sky.

“Hey, sorry about that. I didn’t realize I would scare you that bad. Took me a bit to find where you were.”

“Uh, thanks.” EX said nervously, worried speaking would be what got them recognized and then dropped into the void, but when Scar gave no reaction, they sighed in relief.

“No problem. Now before you get confused, we’re heading over to an end city I saw from where I was stuck. I figured I can fly fine, but you and Bdubs can’t. And he doesn’t want elytra at all.”

Evil scoffed, “Oh really? I think it would be important for him. Using one of those means if he does end up falling into the void again, he can use it to glide back to land and us on the loop without the worry of fall damage.”

Scar listened, then almost immediately agreed as Ex thought it over. Their bullshit had actually made sense, and they didn’t have to explain that they actually hate wearing elytra with a passion. And by the time Scar suggested also looking for a second elytra, Evil recalled the loot tables of the end cities from their brother’s various tests and the fact that so many of them had iron or diamond tools. If any of those were pickaxes, well now they could collect blocks and cross the large gaps between the islands. 

From the various excuses, Scar ended up asking if Xannes was just as scared of flying as Bdubs was right now, and though that wasn’t the case and Ex wanted to refute the claim, if it meant they weren’t forced to wear an elytra, they weren’t going to actively complain. Well, they would complain in their head at the very least.

The End City wasn’t too bad. Well, it was pretty bad from having no gear, but EX still had a knife from Bdubs and Scar could fly. Scar carried Ex up close to the ship before letting the helsmit drop to the deck. Evil stabbed the shulker sitting at the stern before rushing down below deck, swiping the brewing stand and potions on the way. Making quick work of the shulker down there, they grabbed the elytra and opened up the chests and pulled out loot. They threw on some diamond leggings with protection and curse of binding, but taking off armor wasn’t too much of a concern.

Though not everything was important, seriously, when would beetroot seeds be useful with no dirt around, EX and Scar grabbed everything they could from the ships and city chests. To keep from dying and being found out, EX downed one of the health potions, but by the end they had a shulker box for each one of them. Plus, just like they had expected, there were a few pickaxes in the chests, meaning the group didn’t need to rely on flight to reach the center island.

Meeting back up with Bdubs, Scar and EX gave him some loot as well as the wings. He initially rejected them before EX gave their reasoning, leaving him to at least put the elytra in his inventory for now and a regular chestplate on otherwise. Following that, all three of them took out pickaxes and started mining, gathering blocks to start bridges towards the main island, towards the dragon and TFC, only Evil the one worried about how many dragons they might have to deal with when the time came.

.

.

.

Wels couldn’t help but side eye his evil counterpoint once or twice. They had created a path to a delta to work on gathering stone, but while he was doing just that, Helsknight was merely standing nearby, watching Wels’ progress. “Are you planning to help at all?”

“Oh trust me. I’m helping.” Hels replied, changing from just standing around to leaning against a wall of basalt. “Between the two of us, you’re in a more… how do I put it? Fragile state. You’ve become a hybrid, which could cause issues since we don’t know how far that’s going to go, what exactly is causing it, and if it’s affecting your mind. Plus you’ve barely gotten a chance to work in the nether with how you keep dying.”

“Alright, well you could still do more than standing around and watching me.”

“I’m not just watching you. I’m not sure if you really took the time to notice, but we don’t have a respawn anchor yet. That base we’re living in is my spawn point, so I don’t have to worry about that. You, on the other hand, are stuck in the middle of that forest. So sure I’m watching you, but I’m also watching to make sure no stray piglins or hoglins or anything else wanders in here and tries killing you. And if they do, then I attack to chip them down if not completely kill them, giving you time to block yourself up until I get back.”

“So you’re babysitting me?” Wels asked with a bit of a huff, getting a little more annoyed as Hels nodded.

“Pretty much, yeah. Oh calm down, if you stay alive long enough, maybe you’ll prove you don’t need me breathing down your neck.”

“I’ll have you know I’m perfectly capable.”

“After all your deaths? I doubt it. And even then, I want to make sure my ticket home is safe.”

Wels paused at that. “How do you know that I’m really part of the way to get out of this place?”

“Well it seems obvious.” Hels replied with a roll of his eyes. “You look at the list of people here and just about everyone on there is a hermit. I, on the other hand, am absent from the list as well as Evil Xisuma due to some trickery of theirs. There also seem to be two others unlisted due to a death message involving the two of them. I could assume one of them was a nametagged monster, but the names as well as the collective situation implies differently.”

When Hels started talking about the two others, Wels looked through his comm to see what was being referred to. “Oh, Grumbot and Jrumbot. Mumbo and Grian built them last season. I guess they brought those two along here somehow.”

“Either way, they aren’t listed, so as it stands, I will be assuming that you, the hermits, and the two unknown listed names are going to collectively be responsible for whatever escape eventually comes.”

That statement did seem obvious enough that Wels couldn’t argue, instead going back to mining blackstone. That was, until both of their comms started buzzing like crazy. “Is someone stuck in a deathloop again?”

“Hmm, not exactly.” Hels replied, seeming to actually be reading the death messages with how his eyes moved over the screen. Now curious, Wels paused his mining again to pull his own comm out, reading through the messages.

DocM77 was slain by Etho using [You can use renamed weapons for messages] DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Grum&Jrum with me, Grian missing, Jrum broken] DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Etho looping to different people’s spawns] DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Joe&Beef at 0,0 spawn says Etho. Meet there?] DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Looping messages so people will read chat]

And then just as the last message said, the five different deaths looped for a while, up until a new one entered the fray.

VintageBeef was slain by joehillssays using [We are at spawn. Everyone /needs/ to get here] VintageBeef was slain by joehillssays using [Grian missing makes sense with what Joe knows]

MumboJumbo was slain by Vindicator using [Grian’s been with me but isn’t acting right] MumboJumbo was slain by Vindicator using [other note: allied with illagers who know somethin] MumboJumbo was slain by Vindicator using [Grian may also have some information]

DocM77 was slain by Etho using [If you don’t know, beds work for respawn]

Zedaph was slain by Tangotek using [Thanks for the heads up. All hybrids have issues?]

DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Yes for Doc, Etho says Ren probably.]

Zedaph was slain by Tangotek using [And new hybrids? Impy has become guardian hybrid]

VintageBeef was slain by joehillssays using [Joe having issues. Not sure if hybrid related]

DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Grum says likely worsened by respawn.] DocM77 was slain by Etho using [Stopping after this because of it]

MumboJumbo was slain by Vindicator using [Respawn= hybrid>feral, loop4nonhybrid>becomehybrid]

“Well, that explains you then.” Hels spoke up, pulling Wels’ mind from the death messages. “Dying to hoglins over and over is turning you into one of them. Though it was pretty obvious if you thought about it. Think about it more and more deaths will make it even worse.”

“I’m guessing this is your way of pointing out that protecting me is even more of a good idea now.”

“Well you said it, not me.” Hels taunted, leaving Wels to grumble and go back to mining, neither of them noticing one last message.

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.

.

The moment he had mentioned the possible upcoming changes, Xelqua watched as Mumbo raced off to work with another axe in the anvil. Sure he could warn the other players, but all of them would still get their spawns reset to make things fair. A death later and Mumbo was back in his respawning room, not even looking to Xelqua as he rushed off towards the library. Probably to try and find some way to stop it.

Well, it would be stopped if Xel didn’t do what the other Watchers required for the update, so he went off in his own direction to start work on that. Away from the respawn room, a training center of sorts had been set up replacing a fighting ring. It was where Mumbo was learning magic and testing some redstone, so it was otherwise unoccupied, leaving plenty of room to test some builds.

Xelqua wasn’t sure how long he had been building, but eventually he was interrupted, the sun having moved a bit and Mumbo having returned with some books under his arm and a few papers in his hand. “Er, Gr- I mean, Xelqua? You mentioned something about an update of sorts to the whole experiment, yes?”

The Watcher nodded. Of course he had. He might have been building for a while, but he was sure he hadn’t been long enough for Mumbo to forget. “Yes, and?”

“Well, I’m hoping in the long run it will actually be helpful for that update.” That made Xelqua perk up. He expected Mumbo would be upset if anything, not so willing to help. “Um, looking through the books, maybe this might all work.” And he held the papers in his hand out, stumbling a bit as he stepped forward to hand them off. “Sorry about that. I… hmm I am feeling a bit tired. I barely remember actually walking up here.”

Xelqua took the papers and quickly looked them over. It was all very nice and thorough. “Oh yes this is going to do nicely!” and then he looked over the papers to see the state Mumbo was in. His energies didn’t seem exhausted, though that might have just been unused magic since he was still unwilling to use that. But otherwise he looked disheveled and seemed to barely be keeping himself up.

With a huff, Xelqua stuffed the papers in his inventory and picked Mumbo up. Mumbo complained a bit, but was too weak to fight it as he was carried to his respawn room and shoved on top of the wool bed, followed by being ordered to sleep. He barely fought after that, reluctantly closing his eyes and obviously trying to sleep, letting Xelqua leave to update the other Watchers on how he already had things all planned out.

After that, the warning would come, and it would all begin again. More or less.

[skylardoesthings]

part two electric boogaloo

Alright lets get too the actual stuff. Note this is a continuation of this! But you don’t have too read that too understand it, though I’d appreciate it if you look at it!

TIME LINE

This au sets 19 years after the 2nd wizarding war. Meaning they are also in the same year as the 2nd generation of the Harry Potter characters.

SCHOOL YEARS

Just in case you didn’t know, there is 7 school years in hogwarts and this is the list of the mcyt is each year

YEAR 1 Tommyinnit, Tubbo

YEAR 2 xBCrafted, Mumbo Jumbo

YEAR 3 Sapnap, Fruitberries, Karl Jacobs, Nihachu, Grian, Pearlecentmoon

YEAR 4 Dream, BBH, Skeppy, Mithzan, Yourpalross, Smallishbeans, Dangthatsalongname, LaurenzSide, LDShadowLady, fWhip

YEAR 5 Hbomb, Wilbur Soot,Technoblade, GeorgeNotFound, Zedaph, TangoTek, ImpulseSV, iJevin, ZombieCleo, Joe Hills, Welsknight, Cubfan, Ren, V.Beef, Etho, Xisuma, Hypnotizd, False, Stress, Iskall, Eret, Fundy

YEAR 6 DanTDM, Cpt. Sparklez, Ph1lzA, DocM, Bdubs

YEAR 7 TFC Yes I am aware that the ages doesn’t really add up. And don’t ask why TFC is the only 7th year.

WHAT IS HALF-BLOOD, PURE-BLOOD, AND MUGGLE-BORN?

I just realized I never explained what those are for you who don’t know or forgot well here is the explanation for you:

Muggle-born is a child born with magic to two Muggle parents is considered a Muggle-born.

What is a muggle? Muggles are people who does not have magic at all.

Half-blood is a child with parents or grandparents split between muggles and wizards are referred to as half-bloods.

Pure-blood is wizards and witches without known Muggles or Muggle-borns on their family tree

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

The TRUTH about Cubfan135! The Science!

Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY.

Cubfan has always been a strange entity with Hermitcraft. Is he human? Vex? A meme? Cryptid? A figment of Goodtimeswithscar's imagination? The ghost of christmas capitalism? I'm here to prove to you that Mr Cubfan 'Cub' 135 is actually none of those. (Or maybe some of those.) As I have done an immense amount of research and drank so much tea to bring you the theory to end all theories:

Is Cubfan135 a villager?

Let's look at the facts.

I spent 5 whole minutes googling Cubfan's skin. He has 2 pixels across, 1 pixel high eyes. Now, due to the limitedness of minecraft skin's, we're going to use the proportions of other hermits to help us.

There are a few types of eyes found on hermits skins.

1x1 - Mumbo

2x1 - Cubfan, Etho, Hypno, Iskall, Joe Hills, Rendog, Tango, TFC, VintageBeef, XBCrafted, Xisuma, Zedaph, ZombieCleo

1x2 - Grian

2x2 - Bdouble0100, FalseSymmetry, Scar, iJevin, Impulse, StressMonster

3x3 - Docm77, Keralis

So based on this data, we found that 1/26 hermits have beedy eyes that scare me, 1/2 hermits have short but slim eyes (almond?) 1/26 have no soul, 3/13 have round eyes and 1/13 have eyes so big that you can only look into their eyes and nothing but their eyes.

So from this, we can infer that hermits with 2x1 eyes are the most dominant eye shape.

I went back on google and lo and behold, our research proves right:

But what does this have to do with Cubfan? Well, you see, Cubphan is actually apart of that 2x1 club. Wanna know who else is? The minecraft villagers.

Of course, as we've established, this is a dominant trait in the hermitcraft continuity so I wouldn't be surprised if you aren't convinced.

But what about their baldness? We know from ingame breeding mechanics that villagers are born bald meaning they most likely can't grow hair on their head to begin with. But do we have evidence that Kubfan134 was bald as a child? Well, no.

But! We do have evidence of what Cub looked like in his 'youth!' As far as I'm aware, this skin goes unused. (Don't quote me on that, if it does get used, can someone please tell me where? I really want to know the story behind this one.) Also, we have no evidence Cub didn't have hair as a child so I win.

Wanna know who else has a hairless head? The villagers! (And also potentially Xisuma. Could you imagine?)

Still not convinced? Look above their eyes. What do you see? Eyebrows. There's only 7 hermits with eyebrows (some could be argued that it's actually eyeliner, bringing that down to 4 hermits if you really wanted to) meaning either EVERYONE COLLECTIVELY SHAVED THEIR EYEBROWS OFF or it's more likely a recessive trait. And Ckubfan has that recessive trait. But who else has eyebrows? The VILLAGERS! Well actually, it's a unibrow, but because Cub's are bushy I'm just going to say that maybe villagers grow eyebrows really fast and just keep them well groomed.

But here's one more connection. What was Ckubthan135 infamous for in season 6? No, not golf or vex, his capitalism. Kub was so capitalist he and Scar made money even after closing down Concorp shops and saying "stop giving us money, we're retired." The villagers are also very capitalist, being the only other mob to have a currency and trading system.

"But Mat Pat!" I hear you plead, "if Cub was a villager, where is his nose?!" And to that I say, Villagers are humanoid, right? And Cub has many traits villagers don't. For example, a lack of visible nose, placing and destroying blocks, being able to speak, being well liked by most hermits.

So here's my theory: Cub is half villager and half human.

"But what about the Vex?!" Well my dear viewers, that's going to have to be saved for a part two. I'm sorry, I really didn't want to split this into two parts, but this script is long enough as is.

Speaking of long scripts, let's make this script even longer! So Cub is half villager and half human. But let me tell you, I think one of the hermits may be responsible for his creation. Can you guess who? I'll give you a second.

...

Had a second? Okay, drum roll please! (Table smacking noises.) Mumbo! Mumbo is Cub's dad!

"But Mat Pat! Cub is older than Mumbo!" Or is he? Time travel is an established thing in the Hermitcraft universe, so is rapid ageing/de-ageing. Just look at Scar! If he can go from 30 to 60 between seasons, Mumbo probably can too! (In reverse.)

Let's look at the genetics.

Cub had black hair? Mumbo has black hair.

Mumbo is brilliant at redstone. Perhaps he passed that on?

Their eyes aren't similar at all. Cub's are 2x1 whereas Mumbo's are a single pixel. But villagers have 2x1 eyes. But they're green and Cub's are black. But aha! Mumbo's are black so we're okay!

Both have brilliant facial hair. Facial hair growth is actually reliant on the amount of testosterone you have and given that Cub and Mumbo's voices seem to sit around the same note of A or A#, I wouldn't be surprised if they had similar amounts of testosterone.

So, Cub is a half villager half human who's dad is Mumbo Jumbo himself.

But that's just a theory... A GAME THEORY!!! Thanks for watching!