#that line ruined my life actually
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#that line ruined my life actually#he would be the type to carry around his brothers decapitated head#i just know it#gladiator#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#gladiator fanart#emperor caracalla#emperor geta#geta#caracalla#my art :]
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āNo matter where I may be, Iāll always come running to lend you my aid.ā
#p5t spoilers#persona 5#erina#toshiro kasukabe#i think i hauve covid about them RAAAAHHHā¼ļøā¼ļøšš#their friendshipā¦. the way they talk to each otherā¦ i justā¦#THE INSTRUMENTAL MOTIF THAT ERINA SHARES WITH THE REAL ERI#AND THE WAY THE WALKING ANIMATION SPRITES AT THE END HAVE HER CATCH UP TO HIM AND FADE INTO HIMā¦. IM NOT NORMAL#realizing āill be cheering for youā¦ always.ā was a THOUGHT line and not a SPOKEN line actually ruined my life fr#idk whats wrong with me. i just want to post every moment of dialogue from this game. esp about these two.
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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Today in DA:I, not as much as I hoped but I had to get my fringe cut which delayed me getting in to it
Evaluated everyone's armour and weapons about a half dozen times as I collected new stuff
Made a shield and a sword (I don't like playing as a warrior, but feel like I need to at least once, mage or long distance rogue will always be my first pick)
Reached Redcliffe and got the guilt trip from Connor about saving his life
Choose to save the mages and have them as allies and somehow completely missed what direction Varric's approval went
Talked to Krem while swooning to unlock the last Haven exclusive war table mission
Debriefed with all companions and advisors (oh fudge wait I forgot Leliana, better do that tomorrow)
Decided my inquisitor shall be romancing Blackwall
Travelled to the Forbidden Oasis and collected all shards/closed all rifts. I actually dislike this location because the 2D map does not work with my brain when so much of it is vertical
#I'm so annoyed I didn't get to Skyhold today#but real life needs to happen to#looking forward to the quest though#my old laptop tried#BUT#90% of the time#the dragon would be flying but not actually moving#imagine a T pose sim floating in the air#but it's a dragon#hilarious but ruined the seriousness for sure#my game would also crash half the time somewhere along the quest line
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I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me
#thylacines can talk#actually i do know it says mmmmm making horror monster ocs is fun#outside of my fandom ocs my ocs and original stories arre dominated by horror elements and religious themes oopsie daisy#i might eventually post about them but the hk brainrot is going strong#but a friend of mine got a commission for me of my doomer human x monster yaoi so you'll see my Main Babygirls soon š„°#hand in unlovable hand they're fucked and weird and it's an unhealthy relationship and it'll never work as everything is stacked against#them yet each other is all they have and if being together means their death then so be it. Peter should have probably ran. Should have left#would be better off for the majorth of the story had he never met it yet the two are so alike. it's the first thing that's ever unnderstood#him. it's the first 'person' that's ever truly cared for him. And even if it has flaws and his life was ruined by things beyond his#comprehension and he risks his life he's not willing to let go of the only person whos truly seen him and loved him. Who is willing to tear#its world apart and die for him. There are no happy endings here. They were doomed from the start. But at least they have each other.#also tfw your life and 'family' sucks so much that a literal monster who manipulated you and used your body to carry out ruthless murders is#nicer to you than your goddamn brother and friends. like damn dude.#I honestly think if Slaughter was born a human their relationship would be great for both of them they truly fit together like two puzzle#pieces. two outcasts who have so much in common and find comfort in one another. but because of the circumstances of Slaughter's nature and#what it was forced to be this is not a healthy situation or a relationship. Peter comes out better at the end and would be as good as dead#if not for meeting Slaughter so there's a silver lining in all of this but goddamn dude. the bullshit it took to get there.#The fact that his life was so bad literally getting possessed by a monster and almost being murdered numerous times and an insane amount of#trauma and bbeing a target for monsters for the rest of your life literally IMPROVED IT my guy truly cant catch a fucking break šš
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Im so curious
What about BK Moon gives you so much beef with him like the misogyny I understand but you talk about him like there's more
it's all the untapped potential. that's all it is. bk moon can be such a good writer at times and there's some genuinely interesting and fascinating ideas in his work, but man do they get buried under some of the most bizarre and tedious plots he can come up with.
he comes up with some amazing dynamics, concepts and characters and then does shit with them. he writes incredibly passionate and heart-wrenching relationships between his male protagonists and then shoves them into the most boring and/or underdeveloped straight romances possible. he describes utterly horrifying scenarios (affectionate) with such vivid detail you can almost see them play out perfectly in your head and then goes on and on about very boring topics with too much detail that you can skip without losing anything for it.
his novels could be so good... if only they were good. there's something there but you have to grab a shovel and dig them up by yourself because he's not gonna help you do it.
he's a good writer! but he could so much better. and that's what makes it so infuriating! because i see the potential, i see the seeds being planted, i see what could've been... and i can't do anything about it but make silly little posts about it! i wanna be his editor and beta-reader soooo bad.
but to be clear i don't have,, real beef with the man. like. i don't know him. i just read what he writes and sometimes stalk his fb but that's it. my feelings about him are completely based on what his writing and his novels tell me and nothing more. and i do like his writing! i genuinely do enjoy his style and the way he writes! some times more than others but nonetheless!
and also sometimes i just like being dramatic. sometimes i'm mildly annoyed by one of his writing decision and i say i'll stab a man. doesn't mean i actually hate his guts or anything aksjhdka
i will even admit that maybe if his novels were better i wouldn't be so into them as i am. take orv for example. i love it, i definitely binge-read it, cried my heart out and it remains one of my favorite webnovels of all time. but i didn't dedicate two years of my life to talk about it, y'know? it's so good i don't really have anything to add to the conversation. unlike with tged and cpsm where i have entirely too much to say about them.
i guess i just... mourn the wasted potential of his writing. and like with a lot of other authors i can't help but be bitter about the hetero/amatonormativity that seeps into it. if he were just a little bit more open to write his protagonists as anything else than straight or at least stopped adding romance for romance sake, his novels would stand out from many others even with his rather run-of-the-mill plots.
also i'm salty that he keeps catering to whiny dudebros with such fragile egos they can't handle an emotional scene without calling it cringe. when he could be catering to me instead <3 i, unlike them, do appreciate how he writes incredibly deep and passionate friendships between men willing to risk the whole world for one another <33
tldr: he gives me brain worms. and i'm mad about it. he needs a better editor and it should be me.
#hey i got an ask#theroofcat#idk he just strikes just the right place between good and bad writing for me to get obsessed with his novels#if they were better i would've went 'oh that's nice!' and move on with my life#if they were worse i would've went 'oh that sucks' and move on with my life#but no. they had to be just mid enough for me to be like 'oh there's something here' and start digging with my bare hands.#that being said i do think he should just commit and write one BL novel. just to see if he can or if gets ruined by his apparent inability#to write compelling romances when he's actually trying.#like. is his problem with romance or with women? can he strike the same chemistry between two guys when he's gonna make them kiss#as he does when he's making them ''just'' friends?? or does he fall into the same traps he does when he tries to write a straight romance?#questions i will probably never get the answers to because i don't think he would ever do it.#not when he wrote damian and rakiel like That and still decided to include one (1) line to make sure no one thought rakiel wasn't straight.#it's just. it's maddening. but i'm having fun so i'm willing to entertain it for now <3
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who up feeling a little nuts about this scene
#ch6 curtain call ruined my life actually#i remember reading this shit at 2am in disbelief at what was before my eyes#HES HORRIBLE#uagahā¦.neneās words to him also fuck me up#i love ruinene#theyāre gonna always be there for eachother here on out š„¹š„¹š„¹#also can i just say reading this chapter initially without any visuals to help me was terrifying#like that one line where rui starts repeating himself. was terrified what his face would be#rui#rui kamishiro#project sekai#wonderlands x showtime
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nothing will ever beat zoro saying āoh yeah, thatās it babyā
#thatās actually ingrained in my brain#altered my dna#itās my roman empire iām not even kidding#i think about it constantly#watch the clip a billion times#i just#i just ā¦.#audibly gulps#iāve said too much#but oda really ruined my life with that line#bless#āĖā¹ į° xoxo aims#zoro į°#āĖ. š§ ā musings.
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breaking bad season 5 out of context
#JESSE!! LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE!! I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!!#can't believe this is an actual line how have I seen the 'he can't keep getting away with it!' meme but not this#just to clarify I would never ship these two in a million years but their dynamic compels me#I feel like he treats jesse more as a son than anything looking after him / being overbearing / ruining his life constantly etc#don't get me started on the scene where he calls his own actual son jesse by accident!!! I love writing#anyways ALMOST finished with my my like three year on and off watch of this goddamn show#because I had a quiet weekend to myself and whenever I am alone I end up watching prestige TV and movies I guess#this weekend it was this and past lives#breaking bad#.txt#jesse pinkman#walter white
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just ended up sending in feedback about the layout to support. But I have to say it here too, this new layout is such a pain in the ass to figure out. I hated twitter's layout for the same reason, its so annoying to use and everything feels so cluttered and squished in and distracting... it's actually headache inducing.
I really wish I had the option to switch back. I wish there was an option to CHOOSE between the two layouts. I wish I had the choice to opt out of "testing" this thing.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" really should have been brought up before they even tried making this. It was fine before, and now the new layout is completely different and frustrating when it didn't need to be.
If I wanted Twitter's layout, I would have just fucking gone to Twitter.
#tumblr update#tumblr upd8#new layout#i'm so frustrated#i didn't want this at all#this was the last website I actually felt like I could navigate#youtube has become annoying to use#twitter is atrocious#i don't want to touch facebook with a 40 foot pole#instagram seems like a pain in the ass#it's slowly looking like I should just cut the line and quit using the internet altogether#but i'd lose all my opportunities to actually have a social life#and i wouldn't be able to share my art#but AI is ruining that too#and my social situation is such a complicated fucking mess#Like I want to reach out to some of my old IRLs but I don't know what they think of me or if they even want to hear from me#I deleted my discord without warning in 2020 and I feel guilty about it. And some awful shit was happening and I should have talked to them#idk. sorry for the dump. might delete the more personal tags later#it's just depressing seeing everything fall apart like this when I already feel like I have too many holes in myself to patch#or maybe this is just what my 20s are gonna be like. I hope not.
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me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health
touched grass and i am normal again (lying)
#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds#anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol#btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke#anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit#been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno#and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin#but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd#even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd#mqf i have failed you lol#also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk#so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self -#- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo#bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd#whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj#but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha#its cuz its actually from austria :))#we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say#fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah#so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads#also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough-#also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible
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not that it was particularly difficult because engagement is so low but i won the VP seat at my local ( ā”Ģ_ā”Ģ)į¤
#i've been 2 years out of holding office because last time it actually ruined my life and i was on the fence about running#up until last night where i was like. no i'm just gonna march and maybe show up at picket lines with my guitar#as the extent of my labour activism#but here we are two more years#a rare personal post
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Every day an eternity, every week a heartbeat
#time blindness is ruining my fucking life yāall#my meds arenāt working and I donāt know what to do#I never know when I did anything#itās always longer ago than I think#I feel sick from guilt and stress#I know I should be further along than I am but I fucking lied about my hours and filled it with a bunch of bullshit that I was supposed to#be doing but I didnāt do it and now I need it#why do I keep doing this to myself#like I know why. itās because I lack discipline and Iām too lazy to do anything about it#itās the same old bullshit Iāve been failing to overcome since elementary school#but like. WHY.#I spend all my fucking time intellectualizing my mental illnesses and doing nothing to actually fix them#where do I draw the line between insufficient medication and my own personal failure to do what I know I need to do?#I donāt know#but I know itās my fault#casual convo#vent
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I need to clean my room now. It is dire.
#im so embarrassed it looks like shit over here#i cleaned the kitchen bc my ex was picking up stuff but i KNOW she saw my room#what a fucking shitshow#that box of her things is gone now all ive got left is a handful of rose petals and a second hand coffee maker#and a flannel#all that for a quick 2 monthish relationship#i deeply regret rushing into things but I have poor judgement so.#heres to ruining everything good thats ever happened to me via my own choices š» free will baby#I'm so mad right now even though i shouldn't be#the text thing really got to me idk if things can be ok#like yeah turns out when you hear all your fears verbalized insultingly by another person instead of just in your brain it hits harder??#Just felt like a line was being crossed#anyway#when you spill your guts to another person i guess you gotta expect to have shit flung back at you in the worst possible moment#I suck at keeping my mouth shut that's what happens when you stop journaling#you want to actually confide in others#And don't think I don't know that thats what im doing now#online!!#im unbelievably tired of it all#i wasn't built for this kind of life#ive got no friends. my job doesnāt pay me enough to live. ive got no will to feed myself. etc etc etc#worst of all i have to live with myself#because God knows i can't do anything about it#vile-wizard.txt
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like āitll be fine youre overthinkingā guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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#kip sabian#penelope ford#aew#all elite wrestling#ddt pro#ddt wrestling#wrestlingedit#wrestling#night gifs#theres so much to take in and honestly i love it so much#first of all penny just reacting to their friends walking away before turning to kip#the whole 'BUT YOU? MY HUSBAND?? THE LOVE OF MY LIFE???' line she pulls on him#how penny stands up for herself and kip ruining her moment and makes it clear that shes not down with that#kip acting like a hurt puppy over it (while also being just overjoyed that he has the title now)#him also still seeking solace from chris in the first gif after chris walked away when penny starts to go on a tirade#the moments kip lets that smile fall from his face seeing and hearing pennys disappointment and knowing he fucked up#he physically has to remove himself from the situation to solve it#when penny asks him 'why' he never actually answers he just looks extremely defeated#which i wanna say. says a lot about his character honestly#after so many title defeats he takes advantage of the situation and the one person not seeing it coming#its extremely dirty and terrible even for him - and its a shame that. again. they wont be building on this further outside ddt#i also love it that we got both of these sides of them. this one with penny doing the talking and demanding explanations#and the other backstage segment is kip offering excuses and penny not hearing any of it#love me a duality of a couple oof#anyways rambles hi i have a headache#boxman saga#my beloved#kip in a box#vampire wife#(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)
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