#that just makes me want to see their full potential unfold

[paperglader]

Can I just say that it’s been months since the laudna resurrection arch and I am still a true resurrection laudna truther….

And now we’re days away from the biggest fight in the campaign so far, we’re all pretty sure that there’s going to be some big deaths happening and keyleth’s going to be right there… it’s all feeling a bit too familiar. The implications of it all…

I’m just putting it out there.

[steveyockey]

To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.

This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.

Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).

And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.

See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.

In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.

Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.

Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.

[whatdoidosatoru]

lost souls (ran haitani x reader)

pairing: best friend!ran haitani x reader wc: 8.8k ao3 i always use first person, sorry if that's a bit weird, but i'd rather shoot myself than write in second person. also there's no use of y/n. you're welcome. tags: soulmate behaviour, fluff, eventual smut, a bit of sexual harassment (creep in a club), hanma being a menace, shion being a lil weirdo, izana kurokawa, insane amounts of flirting, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, missionary position, unprotected sex, creampie, actually very vanilla sex tbh, but they're cute to me

MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF! 18+!!

When your best friend invites you to the club with the promise of free drinks, it wouldn’t be very wise to decline. He was a bit disappointed as I was running late, but he wasn’t making a fuss. He understood me better than anyone and knew I needed time to prepare for the amount of socialising I’d inevitably have to do..especially since he entertained a lot of people.

Ran Haitani was lounging around the VIP area with two women in his arms and at least one drink in hand, waiting for me.

When I’d finally got ready, I made my way to the club, freezing my ass off in the shortest, tightest dress I could find in my wardrobe. Now that I got here, I realised it was showing too much thigh and it had a stupid, stupid neckline.

I made a quick stop at the bar to get a few drinks to warm up before locating Ran. A large hand waved at the bartender to put my drinks on his tab, and the face accompanying the hand wasn’t too bad to look at, but I politely explained that I was meeting up with someone. 

He didn’t like the sound of rejection, instead, he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I struggled against him, and nobody around me was willing to step in and help. 

“Hey buddy, leave her alone.” Ran sauntered over, making the creep at the bar back away immediately as he recognised who was commanding him. Ran then turned to me, and, with a caring expression on his face, looked me over to see how I was feeling.

“Are you okay?”

I let my hands wander over Ran’s body possessively to scare off any potential assholes that could want to try the same shit with me. He let me do this because it wasn’t our first rodeo, he had, unfortunately, had to swoop in to save me from multiple situations much like the one that had just unfolded. I looked up at my saviour with a wide smile.

“Cheers, Ran. Just in time.”

Ran chuckled softly, enjoying the feel of my hands on his body. He knew I needed him and he was more than ready to help me. We clinked our glasses and he raised an eyebrow playfully.

“Always saving the day, aren’t I?” He took a sip of his drink, watching me intently over the rim of his glass.

I smirked as I looked up at him, my hand withdrawing from his chest.

“My knight in shining gang uniform. How’s the night been going without me?”

Ran laughed, seemingly enjoying the nickname. Despite having a great time partying with his friends earlier, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing without me around. He leaned down close to my ear and whispered,

“It’s always better when you show up.” He gently brushed some stray strands of hair behind my ear and added, “But I managed to have fun nonetheless.”

With a mischievous glint in his eye he continued, “Now that you’re here, though…let me introduce you to these lovely ladies I met tonight.”

He gestured towards the two women who had been sitting beside him in the VIP lounge.

I approached the women enthusiastically, sitting right next to them. I could tell they were wondering who the hell I was, and if I was there to chase after influential men and use their influence for my gain. While I respected the grind, most of those men were absolute bastards and dealing with them was a fucking pain and a full-time job. But my best friend was not one of those men.

I introduced myself to the women and started a conversation.

“...I’m Ran’s best friend, yeah. Oh, by the way, I love your lipstick, you have to tell me what shade that is…”

The conversation was casual and Ran sat across from us, observing over his drink. He watched me effortlessly charm these two women, making them feel comfortable and appreciated. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at my ability to connect with people easily. As the conversation flowed smoothly, he noticed one of the women discreetly slipping her phone number onto a napkin and sliding it towards me.

Feeling slightly amused by this turn of events, he leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his drink, waiting for my reaction. I put the napkin into my purse, exchanging a wink with the woman. I kept chatting with them, getting warmer in my too-tight, too-short dress and I could feel the VIP waiters appreciating the hug it had on my curves with their lingering eyes. I winked at one of the waiters who immediately grinned and came over to offer me a drink.

Ran observed the scene as it unfolded before him, feeling a mix of amusement and pride. He knew I was enjoying myself and that was enough to make him happy. As the waiter handed me the drink, Ran caught his eye briefly and gave him a subtle nod of approval.

Despite being surrounded by attractive women vying for his attention, Ran remained focused on the conversation with the two ladies from before. However, he couldn’t help but steal glances at me throughout the evening, admiring my charm from afar.

I ended up getting up and dancing in the corner with the woman who gave me her number. Luckily for me, I had decided against heels tonight and instead wore my platform Vans. They dressed down any fancy outfit, but not enough to stop the attention being poured over me. They did, however, make me shorter than anyone else in the room, especially Ran. So it was comical to see him join us for a dance, seeing the height difference between us. He always thought it was cute, but in comparison with the other women who came up to us, I felt physically out of place.

The waiter came back with another drink so I took it and put the straw into my mouth to bite it before taking a sip. Seeing that, Ran playfully suggested that maybe it was time for someone else to have a turn serving us. Looking directly at the waiter, Ran challenged him,

“My best friend over here seems like she needs an experienced partner to keep up with her moves.”

By the time the poor man overcame his shock at the challenge, Ran’s gaze had already found mine and he extended his hand in an invite.

“Shall we show them how it’s done?”

I loved seeing this side of Ran, so I put on my finest grin and took his hand, letting him twirl me multiple times in a row before snatching me mid-spin and dipping me so everything around me was upside-down. My choice of footwear allowed for more movement, even if the dress restricted me. Ran picked me back up and slid a hand down my side, squeezing my thigh slightly.

“People are watching,” I said with a giggle.

“Let them,” he whispered, shaking his head.

With that, he grabbed my hips and led the dance. As he spun me around the dance floor, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of exhilaration. My infectious laughter, paired with energetic movements, only fueled his desire to impress me further. As people began to watch in awe, he simply tightened his grip on my waist and continued leading the dance with confidence.

When the song ended, Ran pulled away slightly but maintained contact through gentle touches along my arms and sides. He took hold of my hand once again and led me back to our table where the two ladies were eagerly awaiting our return.

One of the ladies leaned in to whisper something in my ear, to which I chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. I sat next to her and kept chatting, seeing the other woman trying to grab Ran’s attention and the waiter standing around awkwardly, making it obvious that he was trying to get a chance to be near me. I glanced at Ran, but his eyes were already on me, and in that moment I was reminded of all the amazing times we had had together until now.

Running off from his gang meetings only to hide when his brother went looking for us. Running around our neighbourhood in the rain without umbrellas. Impromptu karaoke sessions, both at his apartment and in karaoke bars, singing along to What’s New Scooby Doo together. Cooking elaborate ramen soups at two in the morning with only half the ingredients from the recipes, but with all the enthusiasm. He really was my soulmate, my other half, my best friend in the entire world.

I gave him a grin, fixed my dress, and looked back at the woman puffing her chest in front of me.

Ran watched as I engaged in conversation with her, other people’s attempts to gain his attention gone unnoticed. Despite being surrounded by beautiful women and potential romantic interests, he couldn’t help but feel a deep connection with me - one that transcended mere friendship or physical attraction.

There was a commotion as another man entered the VIP lounge, one of Ran’s gang buddies, whose eyes fell on the gathering we had going on and his lips stretched into an excited grin. He sat down next to me, seemingly not recognising me, and put his arm around me, pulling me closer despite my raised eyebrow at his sudden closeness. 

Ran noticed the way this man’s hand possessively rested around my waist and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness rise within him. Although he trusted most of his friends, there was still an underlying sense of territorial instinct that kicked in whenever someone encroached upon my personal space.

So he did the only thing he saw fit at the moment - he moved closer to me on the other side - effectively sandwiching me between them both. This move wasn’t necessarily meant to be a challenge or a confrontation. Rather, it served as a subtle reminder that, while others might try to vie for my attention, there would always be someone who knew how special I was, someone I always went back to. 

I rolled my eyes at the other man pulling me closer to him, the woman had already up and left the couch to sit down next to her friend on the other side as Ran replaced her next to me. I placed my bare legs over Ran’s lap, leaning slightly into the other man’s embrace.

“Shion, didn’t anyone ever tell you to ask before putting your hands on other people?” 

I teased him, but I put all the power I could into my voice. His eyebrows furrowed before his eyes widened in shock. He stumbled over his words, but still didn’t withdraw his hand from me as he muttered,

“Shit sorry I didn’t recognise you!”

I giggled and leaned into his side some more, my legs still resting over Ran’s lap, his hands sliding up and down them.

“Well, Shion, how about you let me go now, hm?”

Ran watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and concern. He knew Shion well enough to understand that his intentions were likely harmless, but he also recognised the importance of respecting boundaries - especially when it came to someone as important to him as me.

As I gently scolded Shion for his lack of tact, Ran felt a swell of pride at my assertiveness and composure in handling the situation. Despite feeling somewhat territorial over me, he remained calm and collected, trusting that I would handle myself accordingly. With a reassuring squeeze on my thigh, Ran offered an encouraging smile before speaking up.

“Hey bud, maybe give her some space? She seems pretty comfortable right here next to me anyway.”

I pushed myself off Shion’s chest and met Ran’s forehead against mine in a gentle gesture of the bond we shared.

“Listen to your friend, Shion. And next time - if you get a next time - ask before touching me, ‘kay?” I said that with my most polite smile, but he knew I meant business. 

He moved to the other couch to give the other women some attention, even though one of them kept her gaze on me the entire time. The waiter stood there awkwardly, watching as I pushed myself up onto Ran’s lap and leaned into his chest, his hands immediately resting on my thighs and mine on his back from where I winked at the waiter just to get him flustered.

Ran was savouring the warmth and familiarity of my embrace and, in moments like these, he was reminded why he cherished our friendship above all else. Despite the chaos surrounding us in the VIP lounge, there was a sense of peace and tranquillity whenever we were together.

I called over the waiter and took his notepad, writing down my order, following it with a little heart and an apology for all our behaviours tonight. I knew he must’ve been insanely nervous dealing with Tenjiku gang members, especially two of the Four Heavenly Kings. As soon as I finished writing, I flashed him a smile, and he left for the bar to give the bartender our order. 

As he left, Hanma’s tall figure walked up to the lounge and approached the couch where Ran and I were sitting, situating himself where Shion had been sitting next to me.

I rolled my eyes at his closeness, but I didn’t mind him too much, we had our banter. Hanma leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek and I pinched his left cheek with my fingers. His hand went to my shoulder and started pulling my body down to lie on my back and place my head on his lap. I let it happen as his tattooed hands started stroking my hair soothingly. 

Ran observed this interaction with a mix of curiosity and amusement. While he knew that my relationship with each member of their gang was unique, it was always interesting for him to see how all these different personalities interacted when in such close proximity.

When Hanma kissed my cheek, Ran felt a pang of jealousy, not because he wanted to claim ownership over me, but rather due to the fact that he wished he could offer the same level of comfort and intimacy with no strings attached.

Shion returned to Ran’s side and they struck up a casual conversation. It was clear that, despite all the chaos surrounding them tonight, these men still found solace in each other’s company, united by loyalty and camaraderie amidst a sea of strangers vying for their attention.

One of Hanma’s hands went through my hair while the other tentatively touched my thigh. It took exactly one raised eyebrow from me to make him reconsider this move, immediately pulling his hand off my thigh and offering me an apologetic smile as the strokes on my hair continued. He knew my limits with him, even though he regularly liked to test them.

The women on the other couch seemed engrossed in the situation unfolding in front of their eyes. How did this random girl in a too-tight, too-short dress and fucking Vans, for crying out loud, have these three powerful and dangerous men dancing to her tune and wrapped around her finger?

I lifted my head to whisper into Hanma’s ear, something that made him grin wider than before as he stood up and, pressing another kiss into my cheek, maybe a little too close to my lips for my liking, went over to the other couch, sitting in the middle and letting the women flock to him with a grateful smile directed at me.

I sat up in Ran’s lap once again and leaned into his chest, continuing the cuddle we had had going on before Hanma arrived. I could tell by his breathing that my attention being directed at him once more made him relax as his arms wrapped around my waist like he was holding onto a lifeline amid a storm.

Shion walked over to Ran and spoke to him in a hushed voice, by the tension in Ran’s body I could tell it was work-related. My ears twitched at the exchange, but it was none of my business until he made it my business to take part in any of their gang bullshit.

I had only taken part in two of their missions, both times as eye candy for some of their rivals or partners who had a weakness for women of my body type and liked to extend their welcome to a few wandering looks and touches. After both of those missions, Ran would spend a whole day with me and under me, lying on his bed wrapped up in each other, with him apologising profusely, nearly scraping the floor with the depth of his bow, almost sobbing with guilt at how the other men had approached me, even though I had willingly chosen to take part in the mission.

I placed a kiss on his neck to signal I was there for him; despite the closeness of my entire body on his lap, I liked reminding him of my presence with gentle kisses to his neck. Shion glanced at the exchange and raised his eyebrow, to which I just smirked mischievously. Hanma was enjoying himself with all the attention he was receiving on the couch, though I couldn’t help but call out to him to remind him of manners.

“Remember to be respectful, Shuji, unless you want me to come over there and teach you another lesson.”

I said that with a joking threat, but if he was good at anything, it was turning anything I said out loud into a joke for himself.

“Oh, you know I’d love nothing more than for you to…teach me another lesson.” He followed with a wink in my direction so I let out a hearty laugh at his boldness.

Despite the lighthearted nature of my interactions with the other gang members, Ran knew better than to underestimate the depth of my loyalty and commitment to those closest to me - especially him. He couldn’t help himself so he let out a deep chuckle at the wave of pride that washed over him at noticing how nobody really dared cross the line with me once I had drawn it.

Ran Haitani silently vowed once again never to let anything jeopardize what truly mattered most: protecting those who meant everything to him - starting with me.

I nestled myself closer in Ran’s lap while he exchanged playful banter with Shion, showing everyone who my number one was - everything else came after him.

As Hanma made the other women laugh while they examined his tattooed hands with awe across the glass coffee table, more people filed into the VIP lounge. Most notably, Izana Kurokawa, the Tenjiku leader. All three men in my company immediately stood up and bowed, I slid off Ran’s lap, but he held onto my hand and squeezed it in apology for the abrupt dismissal at the arrival of their boss. Izana dismissed them to sit back down and nodded at me, in exchange for a bright smile on my face.

He beckoned me to join him at the booth in the corner of the lounge and I nodded, rubbing Ran’s hand with my thumb as I broke contact to join their leader.

I sat next to him like he asked, knowing better than to challenge him. He indulged in small talk with me, like he often did, asking me about my day and telling me about the delicious food he had eaten that day.

I complimented the way his hair fell forward today and fixed a few flyaways with a gentle touch to which he gratefully smiled, tilting his head to the side as his earrings clicked while he did so. 

He leaned in to kiss my cheek, a lot more polite than Hanma did. I rubbed his arm to show my appreciation for his wanting to spend a little time with me, our conversations always brought him a sense of normality in his very abnormal life where everyone expected something from him.

I stood up from the booth and sauntered over to Ran once again as the waiter brought Izana his drink, I pulled Ran to his feet and dragged him to the dance floor again.

As the music played its hypnotic rhythm, he effortlessly matched my pace step-for-step, allowing both physical proximity and emotional vulnerability between us without reservation or hesitation. Our world revolved solely around this fleeting moment suspended in time - a temporary sanctuary from reality, where all worries melted away under the weightless pressure of love and companionship.

We danced oblivious to everything except for the steady beat resonating through our beings, our hearts beating as one in perfect harmony.

As the beat changed into one more energetic than the last, we shared a wide-eyed look, recognising the song. It was one of the modern pop songs with a very catchy tune, but instead of dancing accordingly to it, we had made it a tradition to always slow dance to it. Ran jokingly bowed at the waist and extended a hand to me with sweet words.

“My lady?”

To that I curtsied and took his hand with an exaggerated, high-pitched voice.

“Don’t mind if I do, kind sir.”

He pulled me into his chest and we stood embraced, closer than some would think physically possible, swaying out of rhythm completely, along to some music only playing in our two minds. Our tradition made Shion and Hanma audibly groan and roll their eyes, Hanma exclaiming, “Here they fucking go again, I swear if I have to see…” 

The rest of his annoyance completely blended with the noise around us, nothing else existed apart from us. The women in the lounge and Izana looked at us with pleasant smiles, appreciating the gentle gesture they saw before them as there were far too few of those in the world.

And so we swayed gently out of sync with the rhythm pulsating around us. As the song ended, we pulled back a little, smiling at each other. Ran placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Hanma booed from the corner of the room, making me shout back, not moving my head from Ran’s chest.

“Shuji if I hear one more sentence out of your damn mouth that doesn’t end in ‘my queen’ I will step on you!”

I fixed him with a stare, but in true Hanma fashion, he switched to a cocky smile and retorted.

“How did you know I wanted you to step on me…” 

When Ran raised an eyebrow at him he finished the sentence.

“...my queen.”

I rolled my eyes at him and went up to the waiter.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries in here?”

I flashed him a polite smile. I could tell he was nervous, even more so than before, since Izana showed up, sitting in his booth and drinking wine from a pint glass, scrolling on his phone and ignoring a million notifications he was receiving. The waiter winked at me and with a smile disappeared into the kitchen to ask the staff there for fries and some ketchup on the side.

When he brought me the fries, I blew him a kiss and sat at the bar on the high stools, taking one bite at a time, savouring the crispy exterior and the softness of the interior of each individual fry. Hanma walked up behind me and hugged me tight, apologising for taunting me earlier. I smiled up at his towering figure and pushed his face away from mine as he got too close, but kept our playful banter. He grabbed a few fries from the bowl in front of me and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving me to enjoy my food.

The ladies from before came up to me from both sides with wide eyes.

“Girl…how?!”

They wanted to know how I got all these men in the palm of my hand. How even Izana, the notorious Tenjiku leader himself asked for my company, allowed me to touch his hair, smiled all friendly, and thanked me for indulging in small talk with him. I shrugged and explained that I had been lucky to be in the right place at the right time to meet Ran, everything else came with the inexplicable bond we shared. I told them that they needed one good person on their side, someone to support them as I had the freedom to make myself cold to handle anyone else with the firmness they deserved. 

To emphasize my point I motioned Hanma over to join me. When he sat next to me, smiling, I leaned in as if I was going to whisper into his ear, but I just hiccuped, covered my mouth and started laughing with him. He tried tousling my hair, but I stopped his large hand from approaching and pushed it away. He stood up, hugged me tight, and muttered.

“Just using me for your own entertainment…I see how it is.”

With that, he left me alone with the women, their jaws nearly slacked open.

As the laughter subsided from the bar, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction bubbling within him at witnessing my easygoing rapport with not only his fellow gang members but also complete strangers who had found themselves drawn to my presence. Despite my constant casual dismissal of my own abilities to navigate this world, chalking it up to sheer luck, there was something he found undeniably captivating about the way I carried myself around others - a quiet confidence that spoke volumes without a single utterance.

It wasn’t long before Hanma rejoined the group, still reeling from my playful antics earlier on, but instead of appearing annoyed or frustrated by my teasing, he simply accepted it as part and parcel of being in my close proximity.

We continued conversing late into the night - sharing stories, trading jokes, and cementing bonds that ran deeper than most could ever comprehend.

As I made my way through the fries, Ran sat down next to me, causing a big smile to appear on my face, the one reserved for his presence only. He picked up a fry and we touched them together, a toast of some kind. We bit the tops of our respective fries and then we switched hands to feed the rest to each other. 

He told me the plans for the next mission, begging me not to ask Izana to make me part of it since it might require a feminine touch to succeed. Ran was hoping to avoid my involvement again, he’d rather me not have to deal with people touching me, even if the mission could be jeopardised. 

I reassured him I would only accept if there was no other way of doing it, and he seemed okay enough with that promise.

When we finished the portion of fries, we transferred back to the couch, settling comfortably into plush cushions, my body in his lap. I snuggled into his chest, my lips trailing his neck in reassuring gestures. 

I inevitably felt the tiredness of spending the whole day on my feet as the energy expelled at the club enveloped me. Ran immediately noticed and got me off his lap to stand up. He picked up my purse and, with his hand on the small of my back, led me to the exit, stopping only to explain to Shion that he was taking me home.

As we were making our way to the exit, I noticed that guy who had harassed me at the bar at the beginning of the night - he was now trying to touch up another woman who didn’t seem too keen on keeping him company. Ran followed my line of sight and noticed what I was frowning at. He made his way towards the man who stopped his wandering hands at the sight of Ran’s kind face, sometimes genuine, sometimes hiding the absolute boiling rage inside him.

Ran picked up the man’s hand and snapped it backwards, breaking his wrist. He turned to the woman and apologised she had to witness that, wishing her a better continuation of the night as he made his way back to me, flinging an arm around my shoulder and cackling along with me as we walked out into the cold night air.

When we reached Ran’s car, he opened the door for me before going to the driver’s side. He let me pick the music for our ride to his apartment. By now it was an unspoken rule that I sleep over at his place on Friday nights after we go clubbing. Neither one of us wanted to be out without one another any longer than necessary, so it was only logical that we go home together.

I put my favourite song on for the ride, both of us belting out the lyrics as Ran drove through almost nonexistent traffic at this time of night. We shared an unbreakable connection forged through countless nights spent navigating Tokyo's vibrant club scene side by side. And while neither of us had ever explicitly stated it out loud, there was no denying the fact that we cherished these peaceful interludes just as much as (if not more than) the wild parties themselves.

As we arrived at the garage, Ran leaned over the console to give me a kiss on the forehead before swinging out of the car and nearly running over to my side to open the door for me. We walked up to his apartment where I immediately went into the bathroom, grabbing the basket with my skincare items to take off my makeup and cleanse my face.

I emerged from the bathroom and noticed that Ran had made us cups of tea with honey - another thing we often indulged in after nights out. I usually picked hibiscus while he drank green tea.

He had already got himself comfortable, changing into his pyjamas which consisted of nothing but old sweatpants that I had bought him when he stayed over at my place for the first time ever. I revisited that memory fondly, taking in his naked torso, his tattoo visible in all its glory. 

I took the pot of moisturiser from the basket of toiletries and brought it over to him. I was the designated person to keep his tattoo vibrant and moisturised by slathering it in moisturiser about once a week. I took my role very seriously.

We walked over to the couch, where I pulled my dress off, with his help, and threw it into his bedroom through the door that had been left slightly ajar. I took the oversized t-shirt that he had taken out of his wardrobe for me and put it on over the top, reaching under it to unclasp my bra and shrug it off under the t-shirt, landing it on top of the dress.

I sat on Ran’s lap on the couch, once again, this time with a completely different energy between us, and took a bit of the moisturiser, starting from the top of his shoulder downwards, covering all his ink in a glossy layer.

Despite our vastly different backgrounds and personalities, there was no denying that something profound connected us on a level far beyond mere friendship. Was it fate? Destiny? Or were we simply two lost souls seeking solace in each other's arms amidst the chaos of Tokyo's criminal underworld? Whatever the answer was, one thing remained abundantly clear: this unlikely alliance had transformed into something far deeper and more meaningful than either of us could have ever imagined.

And so we sat together - two beings united by circumstance, driven by an insatiable desire for adventure, passion, and most importantly, comfort. We found comfort in each other in every way. Be it through defending each other from people who had no business being close to us or sharing secret knowledge in big crowds…even intimate moments like this one. We knew each other better than anyone else, these moments were completely ours, with nobody interrupting, nobody watching.

Ran reached over to hold my waist and steady me as I reached lower on his body to finish my treatment of his inked skin. I felt my face redden a little, though it did not make me falter in my practised movements whatsoever. When it was done, I spread what was left of the cream on his face, to which he made a face of feign-annoyance, as he did every single time I did this.

His eyes traced my body’s curves, my skin was tightening under his touch and gaze.

Ran knew that, beneath my playful exterior, there lay a fierce loyalty and unwavering devotion - qualities he had come to rely upon more than anything else during our journeys together.

With each passing moment, our bond grew stronger, fueled by trust, respect, and an undeniable attraction that refused to be ignored any longer.

Despite those intense feelings swirling between us like an invisible storm cloud threatening to engulf us whole, neither of us seemed willing (or perhaps capable) of addressing the elephant in the room. Instead, we chose to lose ourselves within this limbo state - teetering precariously on the precipice between friendship and something far more dangerous.

We weren’t strangers to a wandering touch or two. We had shared the bed countless times before, always staying pressed against each other, be it for warmth, for consolation after a hard time, in celebration of a job well done, or just because we could. Our hands knew each other’s bodies well. But we never took it further than just some friendly exploration. Not that we didn’t want to, no. But because the consequences of further embarkment could change the world forever.

It was the one thing we never spoke about. Even though everyone would refer to me as Ran’s wife, and Ran as my husband, we had never spoken about taking a step in that direction among ourselves, despite proudly admitting to others we’d marry each other in a heartbeat.

Tonight, however, as my skin tightened under his gentle touch, I felt the surge of emotions overwhelm me. The air between us crackled with an electric charge, fueled by years of shared experiences, laughter, pain, and heartache. We were a duo forged in the fires of adversity, bound by ties stronger than steel. I leaned forward to brush a strand of Ran’s hair out of his face, lingering with my face so close to his, trailing my gaze from his one eye to the other, and, with a determined breath, I pressed my lips to his.

Whether the explosions we heard were sounding outside the window in the street, or in our minds, that was going to remain a mystery. My entire body and soul were captured in the sensation of Ran’s scent, the texture of his soft lips, the connection between his hands and my waist, pulling me impossibly close to his body.

We had said I love you countless times, but it had never meant anything like this before. It was a slow and fast sensation at the same time. Full to the brim, overflowing. Our lips slotted together in an avalanche of I love yous, all of them unsaid, but felt deep inside. His hands quickly took over my entire body, as mine found their purchase in the locks of his hair, tugging lightly to hear a soft moan slip from his throat into my hungry mouth - a feast for my senses, a fresh spring for my thirsty soul.

With reckless abandon, we surrendered to each other completely. Baring not only our bodies, but also our hearts and souls in ways previously unexplored. This wasn’t just lust or infatuation. This was something far greater - true love manifesting itself through passion, vulnerability, and trust.

With a swift motion, Ran picked me up and started walking towards the bedroom. In the passion of the moment, he put me down to take his sweatpants off and I pulled off the shirt I had put on only minutes earlier - the only material covering us was our underwear.

To change that, I dropped to my knees in front of Ran, but he reacted quickly, pulling me back up by my arm, sitting down on the bed, and pulling me on top of him to straddle his hips. He continued kissing me, at the same time giving me the most loving caress on my cheek.

As I straddled him, my hips started moving to gain some friction against his erection. This managed to draw out a deep groan from the depth of his throat. His hands travelled up and down my sides, resting on my soft thighs on each side of his body.

Slowly but surely, we were crossing into uncharted territory - venturing deeper into the depths of each other’s souls with every stolen kiss and whispered word of affection. It was as if all barriers between us had crumbled away entirely, leaving nothing behind save for raw emotion and insatiable longing.

Like a tidal wave - with unbridled power all at once - Ran flipped us over to hover over me, like my own personal sun. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, he was in my head and in my heart, all over me and in front of my very lucky eyes. I felt like prey that wanted to be caught by the hunter.

He lowered one hand to my cheek, gently caressing it before lowering his lips into a kiss to rival all kisses. His fingers trailed down my naked body and dived under the hem of my underwear, pushing it down and off me before settling in between my wet folds, sliding through them, making me whimper at his touch as I never had before.

Our bodies melded together seamlessly, our hearts beating in perfect sync. There was no denying this magnetic pull between us; it was as if fate herself had conspired to bring these two lost souls together under extraordinary circumstances. And now here we were - lying naked on the bed, bathed in moonlight streaming through the open window.

His eyes burned a hole in mine, keeping contact even through the seductive act of bringing his slick fingers to his lips, first spreading the wetness on the soft plush of his bottom lip, then sucking in his finger to taste me. As his eyes closed at the sensation, I let out a gasp, feeling the desire pool in my belly.

Ran chuckled and dived in to kiss me, spreading the slick from his lips to mine. He nudged my legs open with his knee, slotting himself in between my legs, rising to his knees to see the view spread out in front of him - the view that stirred something primal within his very core.

My eyes were filled with desire and longing, my body trembled beneath his touch as if begging for release from this exquisite torment.

He knew what I needed now - what we both craved more than anything else in the world. And yet, there was still a lingering sensation…a fear of crossing the invisible line that might forever alter our relationship.

But, as he gazed down upon my face bathed in moonlight, all doubts faded away like wisps of smoke on the wind. This moment had been building since the day we had first met. It was inevitable now. The culmination of countless shared experiences and stolen glances that had brought us to this point.

Ran kissed down my stomach and reached the centre of all my frustration, the point on my body where all these vibrations went down to. He blew a stream of cold air onto it, sporting an innocent smile on his gentle face, lighting up when I whimpered in frustration.

He gave my needy clit one gentle kiss and dragged his body up to examine how his little torture affected me. I was reaching my hands up, so high, towards him. I needed to touch him. I needed to feel his smooth skin under my fingertips, needed to feel that this was real, and not some twisted dream.

Ran adjusted himself in front of my entrance, sliding the head of his cock through my wet folds, just like he had with his fingers. 

I was shivering with sick anticipation.

And then…

As we crossed the threshold of no return, Ran whispered into the darkness around us.

“I need this so much.”

He gently eased himself inside my welcoming warmth. His movements were slow at first, tentative almost. I let out a whine so loud that I had to press my palm to my mouth to muffle it a little. He kept going, slowly, carefully, like he was waiting for me to stop him. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Somehow he was still going, stretching my insides to fit him, letting out huffs of air from his lungs as he sank deeper and deeper.

I looked up at him with a blissful smile, like I was right where I was always supposed to be.

Ran finally stopped sinking, filling me up completely. I wrapped my legs around his waist to anchor us both to this moment under the street light spilling in through the window, mixing with the cool moonlight. I kept him in me as long as I could before he started rocking back and forth, making both of us gasp with pleasure.

With each passing moment, the lines between friendship and something far more intense blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another.

“Ran…”

My voice echoed through the bedroom, together with the sound of insatiable moans and skin-on-skin contact. I gripped him like my life depended on his body staying as close to me as possible. His name was like a plea on my lips being whispered into the abyss, like my only wish and only thought in this entire world.

His hands roamed freely across my body, exploring every curve and contour like they were discovering new territories for the first time. As we moved together rhythmically, lost in each other’s embrace, there was no denying it anymore. We had taken a leap of faith, crossed the boundaries once considered sacred.

In Ran’s mind, there remained an undeniable truth: no matter what happened next or how things turned out eventually…this moment would forever remain etched deep in our minds, reminding us about what could exist between two souls brave enough to explore love beyond limits.

I thought about the twists and turns of our friendship throughout the years, how I had never felt jealous of any person he had been with. I had never felt threatened by his love interests, thinking it was because what we had was so platonic that it couldn’t have grown into anything else. Now I was starting to think we were so far past soulmates that nobody else could ever have replaced us.

Not a single person could replace Ran’s hands on my breasts and hips. Not a single person could be better under him than me right now, basking in his hungry eyes, being eaten alive by his desire. And when we were together, we unleashed eternity. We were sailing high, and I was already falling. Falling into the abyss of infinite pleasure.

With a gasp and a high-pitched moan I fell, and Ran caught me, sliding one hand to rub my swollen clit and bring me back to earth to ride out my orgasm. I attached my mouth to his neck, but not like before, this time it was possessive. Before, the neck kisses had just been a reminder of my presence, that I had been there with him - for him - but this time I intended to leave a mark.

I sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck like I tried to draw blood and his moans were fueling my passion.

I jerked my hips upwards to meet his thrusts when I finally came down to earth. I could feel him deeper inside of me than anyone else had ever been. He was giving me his all, and I was greedily taking it.

Ran let out guttural moans, again, and again, and again, as I met his thrusts with equal force; our bodies were like two pieces of an intricate puzzle designed specifically for one another.

As we spiralled towards oblivion together, consumed by insatiable desire and boundless affection, there existed within us both an unspoken understanding - this wasn’t about sex or pleasure, it was about exploring love unlike any other.

And then it finally happened, when we reached the pinnacle of ecstasy together, time seemed to stand still for a moment. 

With the last thrust of Ran's hips into me, I realised I'd never been full before in my life. Not until then. When his face betrayed him, when he lost himself in me, when his voice couldn't handle any more, that's when we ascended from mere mortality. 

I fell apart under his body, and he absorbed me into his soul.

Nobody else could ever compare. Nobody else came close to what we had.

All thoughts vanished except those centred around each other: You are mine.

Ran gazed down at me with a mixture of love, lust, and admiration as we descended from the dizzying height of our orgasms. I turned to him to gauge his reaction and figure out whether we were still, as usual, on the same page.

“Are you okay?”

My voice didn’t show any worry, though I felt in my soul the importance of our next decision - and that we had already decided when we pressed our lips together the first time.

Ran could see that this moment held more weight than any other we had shared thus far.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s talk about everything.”

He continued, propping himself up on one elbow and tracing his finger gently across my cheekbone. “What do you want from us?”

I shivered under his touch, still not over the way he had touched me just before this.

“I want all of you. I want to keep what we had before, but add this into it.” I thought for a moment. “The only thing I’d change, though…no more entertaining other people the way we did before.”

Ran listened intently as I spoke, my words resonating with a sincerity that made him feel both humbled and exhilarated. I wanted all of him - not just the passionate lover, but also the loyal friend who had been by my side through thick and thin.

“I promise you, darling…from now on, it will be just us.”

I drew closer to him.

“Yeah?”

Ran couldn’t help but smile, my eagerness mirrored his own excitement about our newfound intimacy.

“Absolutely, sweetheart.”

He ran a tender hand through my hair, savouring the moment before speaking again.

“I want nothing more than to be here with you, experiencing life together in every possible way.”

I drew myself up to face him and decided to get closer still, so I sat on his lap. I stuck my pinky out and he hooked his own to mine.

“No more holding back.” 

“No more holding back. From now on, we’ll face whatever comes our way together. We are in this for real.”

I snickered as he leaned in to kiss me, our pinkies still intertwined.

“I love the sound of that. And I love you. With everything I have.”

Ran pulled away slightly, gazing into my eyes before responding.

“And I love you too. More than anything else in this world.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, tucking it gently behind my ear. We were completely connected now - hand in hand, heart to heart.

I sighed, remembering the reality that awaited us beyond these walls.

“We have to tell Izana. He asked me about us earlier.”

Ran’s expression darkened, his mind already coming up with the best way to break the news without causing too much friction.

“How did he ask? Was it casual or serious?”

I smirked and caressed Ran’s face.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s going to be fine. He asked me if we’d grown a pair to confess to each other because he was our number one supporter,” I moved my hand to Ran’s hair, stroking it softly, “he’s always seen through us, I think.”

Ran couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

“Alright. Once we do this, there’s no going back. Are you absolutely certain about wanting everyone else to know?”

I held his gaze with determination.

“Absolutely. I don’t want anyone to think of me without visualising you by my side…if they hadn’t already.”

Ran nodded.

“Let’s go see him tomorrow then. We can catch him at breakfast.”

He squeezed my hand gently.

“Just remember, no matter what happens after we tell him, nothing changes between us two. We’re in this together until the very end.”

I nodded solemnly. I was ready to stand by Ran no matter what.

“In that case, we should try to sleep. Don’t want to show up in front of him with bags under my eyes.”

Ran chuckled lightly. He pulled me closer, nuzzling against my neck.

“That sounds like a plan. But before we retire for the night, there’s something I want to do first.”

His eyes glinted mischievously as he trailed soft kisses along my jawline. His lips curved into a smirk as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine in a tantalising whisper.

“I was thinking of using my tongue on you, darling. Would you like that?”

His words sent a shiver down my body and I nodded wordlessly. His smirk widened at my response. He wasted no time in flipping us over and sliding off the bed to his knees, positioning himself between my legs.

“Let’s see how good you taste now, hm?”

He ran his fingers over my thighs, savouring the anticipation building within us. Ran enjoyed the sight of me lying on the bed, waiting for him with deep breaths. He lowered his head, pressing a tender kiss to my inner thigh before moving higher.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

With that said, he parted my folds with his fingers and began lapping at my clit in long strokes. I whimpered as soon as his tongue made contact. My thighs pressed together in reflex as much as they could, pressing against Ran’s head. He chuckled softly against my sensitive flesh, relishing the way I reacted to his touch. He gently nudged my legs apart with his shoulders.

Slipping a finger inside of me, he began matching the rhythm of his tongue with slow thrusts. With each stroke, he could feel my skin getting warmer and my body more responsive.

“God, you taste amazing,” he murmured between licks and kisses, “I could do this all night.”

I tried to speak through shallow breaths.

“I- I’m not going to fuck to complain, R-Ran.”

His tongue was playing with me perfectly and, combined with his long elegant finger, it was heaven.

Ran continued his ministrations with renewed vigour, determined to push me closer to the edge. He moaned into my pussy, letting the vibrations add another layer of sensation.

“Mmm, you like that?” His voice was muffled by my flesh, but audible enough for me to hear his question.

As my grip tightened on the sheets, he knew I was getting there. He increased the pace of both, his tongue and finger, ever so slightly, eager to watch me fall apart under his expert touch. I hummed and whimpered to the rhythm of his finger, sprinting towards the edge of oblivion and, not looking back or hesitating, flinging myself into the endless ocean of pleasure.

I came on his tongue and I could hear his low chuckle vibrating my clit, sending me further, deeper, into the abyss.

Ran caught me as I fell apart, holding me tightly tethered to earth as he continued pleasuring me with his tongue and finger. As he felt the waves of my orgasm wash over him, he revelled in the knowledge that he had been the reason behind it.

“Good girl.”

He whispered between licks, prolonging my climax until I went limp in his arms.

I struggled to find the right words as I slowly opened my eyes to gaze at him, his fingers in his mouth, licking off my release. The only words I could think of were a long string of I love yous.

I love you I love you I love you I love you…

@bontensbabygirl @haitani-maki @animeangel21 It took me way too long to fit all this together on the page :(

[starkwlkr]

so there’s this boy | cillian murphy

Y/n sat across her manager, Holly, at a restaurant. They were discussing new movie roles and promo that still needed to be done. Y/n had zoned out after Holly mentioned some movie role that she was offered. She couldn’t stop thinking about Cillian. They had messaged each other for several months now. Neither of their managers knew about their potential new relationship. Was it a relationship? Y/n didn’t know.

“You with me?” Holly questioned when she noticed the blonde was zoning out.

“Yeah, I’m good I’m here. What’s up ?” She cleared her throat and sat up straighter.

“Your schedule is full until next month, after that your sisters wedding is next and if it all goes to plan, you finally get a break. Have you decided if you’re taking a date to the wedding?” Holly asked.

“Shit . . . I forgot about the wedding,” Y/n sighed. “Does that make me a bad person? It’s my own sister’s wedding! I just have a lot going on here.”

“You’re not a bad person. That’s why I’m here to help. If you want to cancel some interviews, we can.” Holly replied.

“No, I can do it. I just can’t have any distractions.”

Then stop talking to Cillian

Y/n couldn’t help it. Cillian was on her mind a lot lately.

“Babe, you and I both know you would never call that Irish guy ‘a distraction’. Just call him your lover.”

“What?”

Holly chuckled at Y/n’s reaction. “That Irish guy? Cillian, yeah him. He’s good looking. I know that you’ve been seeing him lately.”

“Who else knows?” Y/n whispered as if it was top secret information.

“His manager probably and me as far as I know. I only found out because he asked me to give you this.” Holly pulled out an envelope from her purse and slid it towards Y/n.

Y/n grabbed it and saw her name written in pen in Cillian’s handwriting. “Be right back, I have to make a call.” Holly said as she stood up from her seat with her phone in hand.

Y/n opened the envelope and saw a letter from Cillian. She unfolded the letter and saw a smaller piece of paper fall onto her lap. She picked it up and read it. Her eyes widened when she realized what it was. It was a concert ticket to see Stevie Nicks, her favorite musician.

She set the ticket down and finally read the letter that Cillian had written her.

You haven’t left my mind, not for one second. I can still hear your laughter and I never want it to end. You have my heart and if you let me, I could have yours. My heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own. You are kind, gentle, beautiful and full of love. I always hoped I would find someone that loves so deeply and I have finally found them.

C.M

i’ll see you soon

BARBENHEIMER TAGLIST

@leclercloml @butterfly-skinnylegend @rockerchick05 @agustdpeach @celesteblack08 @probablypossesedbysatan @kittyrumbl3r @electrobutterfly @knpgituloh @butlersluvbot @captainwans @bellstwd @theekyliepage @marti-su @multifans-things @ceruleanrainblues @litterallnobody @barnes70stark @astheni-a @jackierose902109 @sinarainbows @cosniffee @thatgirlthatreadswattpad

[askinkiskarma]

Cruel Summer | Chapter II: Before It Sinks In

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: After the Sully kids get attacked by the newly found Recombinant Soldiers, Jake makes the tough decision to leave the Omatikaya. Neteyam is forced to say goodbye to you, to your relationship and to the life he always dreamed about.

A/N: So I decided to split what was originally supposed to be one chapter into two, and this way I get to make good use of the amazing song that @karma-is-a-cat-purringinmylap was amazing enough to turn me on to, that just happened to work like a glove (the first non TS song in my works!!!)! I think I will try sticking to shorter chapters, as I feel 10k chapter might be a a bit overwhelming overall. Now, did this chapter make me cry several times? Yes. Will it make you cry? I'm hoping you will tell me soon ;)

enjoy besties ily xoxo

: ̗̀��� listen to Before It Sinks In here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

Suspended in the air, I hear myself breathing

Hanging by a thread, my heart is barely beating

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Neteyam watched as you ran towards the lake that he wanted so badly to show you, he was practically buzzing by the time he got to Hell’s Gate. He found this little spot accidentally a few days ago while on a hunt, and it’s been on his mind ever since, exuberant at the thought of you in it, at the thought of your face splitting in a wide smile and your eyes widening taking it all in. He thought of the little squeal you would make as you saw the waterfall and way you’d jump off his back immediately and make your way without thinking of your clothes, or the mask, or anything else. The scene unfolding in front of him was exactly the way he pictured it, a testament to how long you’ve been in each other’s lives, how well he knew every facet of your being, like you were just an extension of his own self, like you were a complicated poem he’s dedicated his whole life deciphering and could now recite by heart, could now dissect it and appreciate it endlessly, to its full potential. 

You didn’t look back as you just hurriedly made your way to the edge of the water, taking off pieces of clothing as you did, until you were in a lace thong and bra, that Neteyam has seen multiple times before. He could see it every day, every minute of the day, it could be tattooed on his eyeballs and it would still not stop the way his mouth instantly filled with saliva and his head felt dizzy from all the blood travelling downwards. You were the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on. Actually, beautiful did nothing to describe you. Beautiful had nothing on you. Neteyam wished he was more articulate at times like this, he wishes he would have read all the hundreds of books residing in the big library in Hell’s Gate where you loved to spend your time, in order to find the proper word to describe you. In order to validate his postulation that there was, in fact, not a single word in all of the English language, or Na’vi, for that matter, to encapsulate what you meant to him, how he viewed you. 

A splashing noise is all he heard as you jumped quietly in the water, and he followed suit, a little concerned when you wouldn’t resurface, until it dawned on him you could breathe underwater with the mask on. When you did resurface, you were standing right underneath the waterfall, the biggest smile in the world plastered on your face, and Neteyam couldn’t help his own that blossomed like how the flowers in the morning bloom did, like how his love for you did. 

Neteyam couldn’t remember his life before this. Before tangled bodies and insurmountable pleasures. He couldn’t remember who he had been, what used to occupy his mind and thoughts, what feelings, middling and insignificant, used to plague him before your being took over everything, over every second of every day, over every dream and nightmare, over the past, present and future. Neteyam knew he fucked up. Knew that he lied to you that day, when he told you he wouldn’t fall in love with you. Because he did, he fell like from a distance so far removed he could no longer see the ground. And yet, Neteyam knew the ground was there, and that gravity was pushing him towards it, and that whilst the fall was freeing and exhilarating now, while now it felt like flying, once it ended, it would crush all his bones, and his spirit, and his soul. 

“This might be the best thing you’ve ever shown me!” You were screaming loudly, trying to be heard above the booming noise of the waterfall crashing down in deafening roars, and he laughed at how enthusiastic you seemed, how wild and free. You’ve always been like that, Neteyam mused. You kept to yourself in the labs, and in the village, around the scientists and other people, around his mother and the clan - but when you were around people you loved, people you were comfortable with, you were uninhibited and unconfined to expectations, and fears and limitations, at liberty to be yourself, to shine brighter than any star in the sky. 

“What are you doing over there, Teyam? You know I don’t like to be kept waiting!” 

He shook his head, but said nothing as he removed his cummerbund and knife belt and dove in the warm water, swimming until he reached you. As soon as he did, your arms and legs encircled him like they always tended to, automatically and without thought. 

You looked in his eyes, and the glimmer in it made Neteyam’s mind freeze and go blank, made his heart thump in his chest and sweat pool on his skin, that was promptly washed away by the undulating water. 

“I want to kiss you.” Neteyam couldn’t help the words coming out of his mouth, a confession and a plea all in one, a futile one in the face of untouchable facts, such as the fact being without your mask will kill you.

You smiled and placed a soft hand on his face, tracing his lips gently, and he shuddered under the touch. “I want to kiss you, too.” 

“Thank you, Teyam. This is beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it, ma Vol. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to bring you here. It was the only thing on my mind, the thought of you and m-“ Neteyam realised his mouth was running faster than his mind could keep up, a rare occurrence in his life, but fairly common in your presence. 

Your eyes were wide and full of surprise, and fear started creeping on your face, unannounced and unwelcome, although not completely unexpected. He shouldn’t have said that. Every time things got a little too… intimate between the two of you, any time either of you pushed the boundaries that you both established, boundaries that you needed to abide by above all, it took a while to fall back into step, to get things back to normal, to mutually forget and pretend it never happened. He didn’t want that to happen again. Things were going great for you two, and he didn’t want to lose any time with you, any time he could be loving you instead, any time he could be making you writhe underneath him, any time at all. 

“I - I just meant… you know… I -“ 

Your slender fingers found his lips again and at the small pressure you put on them, he stopped talking. Your eyes softened and your surprised expression melted into one of muted happiness, of unspoken affection, of forbidden feelings. 

“I know.” 

You spent hours swimming and giggling, splashing water at each other, enjoying how, when both submerged, the difference between you didn’t seem that extreme, the discrepancy in your bodies and your heights nothing that couldn’t be promptly overcome. You talked until your lungs were running out of breath and your voices hoarse, just catching up and discussing everything that’s been going on since you hadn’t seen each other. 

Right behind a waterfall stood a layered rock formation, which happened to allow for perfect positioning so that, when sat on it, your and Neteyam’s faces were at the same level. You smirked as you slipped your finger in the band of his loincloth and tugged at it until he took the hint and got closer to you. He didn’t have time to protest you taking off your mask recklessly and smashing your lips against his, a kiss so passionate and deep, it pushed any rational thought out of his mind and replaced it with desire and a tingling ache, one that he knew too well, one that seemed ever-present around you. 

“Vol..” he tried to speak against your lips, but you just shook your head and deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue past his lips until it met his, entangling in a suave dance until you were panting and heaving against him. He tsked annoyed at your foolhardiness, and watched patiently while you fastened to mask on yourself again and took deep, settling breaths. 

“You take my breath away… get it?” You laughed and then laughed some more at how unamused he was. “Come on, it’s funny.”

“You putting your life in danger foolishly is not funny to me.” 

You smirked and shrugged indifferently. “Well, not everyone gets my sophisticated sense of humour.” 

“God, I hate this mask.” 

Neteyam knew how much you hated it. He hated it, too. He’d give anything to be able to kiss you freely, to caress your face, to feel your lips and your soft skin, to see your eyes reflecting the colours of the nature surrounding you instead of a piece of glass doing it instead. Fortunately, Neteyam always knew how to cheer you up. 

“Vol…” he started, voice so low and soft it was almost purring. His long fingers traced your beautiful body, and each freckle adorning it, until he reached your panties, that he skilfully pulled down your thighs, until you were hanging on to them by an ankle. “Just because you can’t kiss my lips, doesn’t mean I can’t kiss yours.” 

Neteyam watched as your upper body leaned backwards until your back hit the rock wall, pushing your head back and closing your eyes in anticipation. Your hand found its way to his hair, that you grasped tightly and pushed him down, and he laughed at your already needy and disheveled demeanour. “You know, Teyam? You’re definitely the bestest friend a girl could ever ask for.” 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

I haven't fallen yet, but I feel it comin'

Tell me would it be too much to ask, if you break it to me gently

“What?” Neteyam could hardly believe his ears, could hardly believe that the words coming out of his dad’s mouth were his current reality, and not a nightmare his mind concocted to make him ill, to keep him awake until his eyes started burning in his skull. 

“We are leaving. Tomorrow.”

Neteyam watched in pain as Tuk cried silently and immediately felt the pang of fraternal instincts kick in, urging him to pick her up and hold her close in his arms, let her cry it out in the crook of his neck. 

“But why, daddy? I don’t want to leave.” 

His dad’s stiff posture melted at his daughter’s words, that he could never resist. His eyes softened and he sighed, taking his mother’s hand in his. 

“Because we are in danger, baby girl. We now know the humans brought Avatars with them, that they brought the best soldiers back to life to hunt and kill me. And they will stop at nothing to do it, including hurting you.”

The only thought spiralling violently in Neteyam’s mind, as usual, was you. His heart was pounding aggressively in his chest, the increased heart rate making his ears hurt and his head dizzy. What did this mean? How would leave? Just the family? What about you and Spider? You were family to him, and to the rest of the Sullys. Maybe not to his mother, but even she would never want anything bad to happen to you. If you did come, would you make it in another clan? Would they ever accept two humans as one of their own? The Omatikaya barely did, and you have been part of their lives for 19 years. What if you didn’t come? He couldn’t leave you. He couldn’t lose you. What was he supposed to do? 

No. No, he couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t leave you, he promised you, he promised himself. No matter what would ever happen in this life or the next, Neteyam knew you were the only constant he cared about, the only person he wanted to take with him and keep for the rest of time. He would tell his father no. For the first time in his life, Neteyam would tell his father no. 

“Kids, I can’t risk putting you in danger. I can’t risk putting the Omatikaya in danger once more, leading them to war. I have too much to lose.” His eyes flickered to his mother, that was sobbing silently by his side, but tried to keep it together for her family and be brave, have a strong heart. 

“We have too much to lose. If we go, we can keep them safe. The clan…” His father looked intently at his kids, eyes focused on Kiri and Neteyam. “…The humans.” 

The humans… 

Leaving would protect the humans. Leaving would protect you. 

I'm waking the next day, without you beside me

And who I hold on to today, tomorrow will just be a memory

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

You and Neteyam’s friendship had a lot of boundaries, for good measure. It was necessary when you were doing things normally reserved for couples, or mates, when you were doing things to each other that no one else would approve of, or understand. One of the rules of the game was that you wouldn’t sleep together. You used to, when you were younger, but that was when your relationship was platonic, back when things were… normal. Now, you thought sleeping together and cuddling would be too intimate, too inappropriate, and it would lead to feelings, feelings you were trying to avoid, feelings which might get in the way of the harmless fun you were having, feelings which might make everything… complicated. It was all just fun. Just fun. 

That being said, as it turns out, you were both really bad at following your own self-imposed rules, and so it didn’t take too long for you to break them all. 

Deep, satisfied pants were all that could be heard in the big recreation centre that Neteyam knew by heart by now. It was dark, his freckles the only light that reflected in your eyes, the only light you needed. 

“Well, we’re definitely getting better at that.” you said with a small chuckle. That might have been the understatement of the century, but you didn’t want to scare him by telling him that if it was up to you, you’d have him tied in this room with a chain only loose enough so that he could do this 24/7, but just tight enough so he’d never leave. 

You were laying with your head on his chest, as you always seemed to after a long and exhausting session. You loved the feel of his smooth, muscular body, that, despite your size difference, was somehow the most comfortable pillow you’ve ever slept on. 

“I’m exhausted. I feel like you and Lo’ak forget sometimes that me and Spider aren’t Na’vi, and yet you work us like we are.”

“Stop complaining, Vol. I need you to be strong and agile, ok? I need to know you’re safe and that you can take care of yourself despite this tiny frail body you possess.”

You raised an eyebrow and scoffed annoyedly, mumbling mostly to yourself. 

“Didn’t see you complain about my ‘tiny, frail body’ 20 minutes ago when you were fu-“ 

“Stop, Vol. You know what I mean. The humans are going to be back at some point, we both know that. And you spend too much time in this place, with your experiments and your books and your shows. I know you don’t like being in the village, and I know that my mother and the villagers give you a hard time sometimes, but at least when we go tracking, or hunting, or practicing, I want you there. I need to know you’re safe, ok?” 

He stopped talking, and he sighed deeply, tightening his grip on your body. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper, laced with intense emotion. 

“I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” 

You nuzzled your face in his chest and mirrored his grip on you, smiling softly at his concern and his words, that ran shivers down your spine and fluttered butterfly wings in your stomach. 

“The worst thing that could ever happen to me is losing you, Teyam. Everything else, I will handle like the big girl I am.” 

He kissed the top of your head, and you stood like that for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. The thought of this moment ending hurt you deeply, so much so, you couldn’t fathom it. So you decided not to. 

“Don’t go. You’re comfortable and I’m cold, and my room seems uninviting by comparison.” 

He chuckled imperceptibly. “You love your room, ma Vol. You’ve written songs about how much you love your bed.” 

“I love you, more.” 

He sighed once more, but pulled you closer and settled down for the night. “I love you most.” 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

I would look back at all of this and wonder why I stayed in here

Just to watch you disappear

When Neteyam reached your room in the lab complex, his heart was in his throat and his knees were wobbly, and he was almost reminiscent of his Uniltaron and how the worm made him feel, like he wasn’t there anymore, not fully. Like he could see his body from outside itself, like his was mind watching everything unfold from a safe distance. His movements felt robotic and untethered, no thought outside of how was he supposed to do this? How was he supposed to leave you? How was he supposed to tell you that it’s over, that maybe you won’t lose him to another woman but you still will lose him nonetheless. Neteyam was trying to think which one was better. In a sea of two impossible choices, two unhappy endings, two roads reaching the same endpoint, which one was the lesser evil? And was there ever a third path? Was it ever possible, for you and him… a happy ending? 

He used to think so, used to hope so. Used to love the daydreams and nights picturing it, so clear and vivid in his mind, it was like it was all unfolding in front of his eyes. You, tall and blue, laughing like you always did, taking your Iknimaya. The two of you, riding from dusk til dawn, discovering secret coves and falling asleep on green moss, where he would be able to kiss you freely, where he would be able to link to your thoughts and feelings and know that this was it, his most formidable desire come alive. His family, your family, carefree and happy, full of kids' laughter and formidable first steps, full of joy and love, full of him and you. That's all he's ever wanted. A family with the woman he loved. Not the woman he was promised to, not whichever new one they'd have to find for him in the Metkayina, the woman he loved. The only one.

But now, as he was standing in this room, that he may never see again, listening to the shower that he knew you were currently in, the dream feels further away than it ever has, further each minute, until it was slowly fading from view, so dim and dwindling, until it was gone from his life, gone from his mind, forever. Until only hurt existed, only the gaping hole left behind by your absence, by all the shattered dreams and the shards of broken hearts, his own and the one he knew he'd break tonight.

The anxiety that burned every part of his body also made his tail jerk violently in every direction, and he was pulled out of his nightmare by the sound of trinkets getting thrown on the ground. 

“Shit.” 

Neteyam thought he’d have more time. Hoped that he could gather himself and his thoughts, hoped he would formulate a plan in the few minutes you would still be in the shower. He knew you would have heard it, so he knew he didn’t have that luxury anymore. He still didn’t know how he could ever make the words come out. How he could ever go through with this. 

As he kneeled on the floor to collect the broken vase that was now a fitting image of his soul, he heard the door to the bathroom open, but his eyes remained fixated on the task at hand, unable to look in your eyes, whose memory, whose incandescent beauty would haunt Neteyam for life. He tried to speak past the overbearing lump in his throat.

"Sorry. I wish I could control my tail better, but it's always an accident waiting to happen in these tight rooms."

The silence that befell the room was stifling and suffocating, and Neteyam felt the gaping hole enlarge, felt it taking over his entire chest, seeping into every ounce of his body, spreading like wildfire.

When you did speak, Neteyam almost wished you didn't. Because your voice did nothing to improve his condition, but worked as a perfect catalyst for further breakage, further pain. It was sad, and muted. It was disappointed. It was everything he never wanted your voice to be like when directed at him.

"Why are you here, Neteyam?"

"What do you mean why I am here? I can't be here?"

Neteyam spoke without thinking. He felt adrenaline taking over him, his body knowing he wouldn't be able to do this without the emboldenment given to him in this moment.

"You can, you just never are anymore."

“Vol… come on. You know it’s different now than it was in the village, in Hell’s gate. We’re going to get caught.”

“Yeah, well, we wouldn’t want to get caught. God forbid anybody knows you fuck me in your free time.” 

“Vol…”

Neteyam didn't understand why he was fighting you about something so trivial. It didn't matter. None of this mattered. None of this mattered, and yet, Neteyam felt compelled to speak his truth. No matter what form it came in.

“I know you’re upset about today. I’m sorry.”

“Why would I be upset about today? You did what you had to do. I mean, she’s going to be your mate soon, right? It’s her hands that should be healing you anyway, not mine. Those are going to scar, by the way.”

Neteyam hated to admit it, because he fancied himself a good person, a person who is respectful and caring and conscientious, but he couldn't have cared less about her if he tried. In fact, his engagement being broken might be the only silver lining in the sea of black dread. He only cared about you. In fact, the distance, and the tension, and the silence and the pain, it was too much. He needed to feel you. If this was his last day with you, he'd be damned if he spent it not feeling your body, and your warmth, not looking in your eyes.

You were so easy to manoeuvre on the bed, it would have been laughable under any other circumstances. Not tonight. When he got on top of you, and felt your bare thighs touching his, and your hand wrapped around his arm, and your eyes boring into his, he felt so much love it was overwhelming him, so sure, for the first time in his life, of that you were the only one he'd ever love, that he was irrevocably in love with you for the rest of time. So regretful of the time he could have spent loving you, and telling you, of the time he spent hiding, only to never get the chance of confessing, never get the chance to follow through on his promises.

“Stop. I know you are upset. I wish it could have been you. You know me, Vol. You know I wish it could have been you.” 

Your subtle head shaking made felt sharp bursts of pain shoot through him, like his queue was connected to an electrical socket.

“You should go, Neteyam. This isn’t right. You’re engaged to someone else. I watched her today, watched how worried she was about you, how desperate to help you, to take you away so it’s just the two of you. You’re going to mate with this girl any day now. There’s no room for me in your life anymore. Not like this, anyway.”

He sighed and got off from on top of you, no matter how loudly his mind was screaming otherwise. He wouldn't do anything you weren't comfortable with.

“The engagement is broken.” 

He wanted to stop. He could just stop and not say anything else. He could just end it there, and watch as your eyes widened in shock, then settled on a happy, relieved disposition that he saw so vividly in his mind's eye, it was almost as if was happening. He could just not go. He could stay, and love you, and make love to you, and keep you. It would be so easy. Nothing's ever been as easy as falling in love with you.

Leaving would protect the humans. Leaving would protect you. 

“Because I’m leaving. I’m leaving the Omatikaya, and so is my family.” 

Far beyond my reach is the future you promised

Now what I never even had, I have every reason to miss

"What did you just say?"

You heard him wrong. You must have heard him wrong. You wiped his tears off your face and sat up, feet dangling off the bed.

"Vol..."

"What did you say, Neteyam?"

You felt anger pick at you like you liked picking at your nails when anxiety took the better of you, and it hurt, and it burned, but anger was better than sadness, so you let it burn until you were ashes on the ground.

"My dad said we have to leave for the Metkayina clan. They're looking for him, trying to kill him. If we go, the clan will be safe. You will be safe."

"Are you kidding me right now? Please tell me it's one of those jokes like the ones Spider and Lo'ak love making that I don't get, but they find hilarious, for some reason. Please, Neteyam. Please."

You were begging, you realised. Outside of the intimacy of your bedroom and the cover of darkness, you never begged. You have never begged anyone for anything in your life. And there you were. Pathetic and weak. Begging a guy, the guy, to spare whatever was left of your heart with just a few words. All it took was a few words.

Neteyam wiped tears off his face and stood arrested in your room, arms limp by his side, like he couldn't move. Like you couldn't move.

"I'm not kidding, Vol. Trust me, I want nothing more than to be kidding. I want nothing more than for this to be a stupid, childish joke. But it's not. We are leaving tomorrow."

You were too stunned to speak, so you opted for the only other reaction your body seemed to be able to produce: laughter. You laughed. Loudly and obsessively, louder than you should have, louder than you ever have. It was so ridiculous, so ludicrous, it felt like the only appropriate reaction.

"This can't be real. This can't be happening."

Neteyam knelt by your side on the bed, and took your shoulders in his hands, urging you to look in his forlorn eyes, red and puffy, just like yours were.

“Vol, don’t you understand?! This is going to protect you. This way you get to be safe. I need to know that you are fucking safe, and if that means I go, then I go.” 

There it was again, the anger picking at your brain until it buried everything else, until it was the only thing.

“Oh, that is such bullshit! Stop acting like you would choose to stay regardless of your family’s choice, even if it kept me safe. You have never been able to choose for yourself, never done anything outside of what Jake ever said, what Neytiri said, what Mo’at said, no matter how bad a choice, no matter how much you didn’t want it. I’m supposed to believe that it would be different now why?"

“It would, Vol, because it’s you!” he shook you gently as he said that, eyes so intense, so serious - so truthful.

"So stay. Just fucking stay. Please."

“Even if I stay, I still have to mate with her, don’t you understand?”

You knew that he was right. There was no win for you. For either of you. This life was cruel, and it gave with one hand and took with both, always leaving you with less than what you started. You weren’t one to question the meaning of life or the fairness of the universe, but now, taking in the man you loved more than anything in the world, the man who you knew loved you, you wondered what was the point of it all? Why were you here? Was there really that much cruelty reserved just for you? Were you how humanity was paying for its horrible missteps on Pandora? Were you an experiment, a toy put on here just as a Voodoo doll for Eywa, and every time she pricked another needle in you, it would reflect back on Earth and on of the people banished back to it? It felt like that sometimes, and it definitively felt like that tonight.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe you."

It suddenly felt much like you exchanged moods in between you, his despondent, wretched one passed on to you and replaced with your anger, strong and unwieldy.

“God fucking damn it, Vol! Do you think I want any of this, do you think this is my choice, that this would ever be my choice?! I'm trying to protect you! I'm trying to make sure you are safe, that the clan is safe! What the hell do you want from me?!” 

He was angry and desperate, tears obvious in his eyes, as was the flush in his cheeks. Your eyes were leaking endless streams that you couldn’t push back, that you couldn’t remove from your cheeks in time before they were replenished, like they were begging to be seen and acknowledged, like the pain wouldn’t be denied - it wanted to be felt, and it didn’t care who it had to go through to do it. 

You felt emptiness envelop you like a shroud at the situation that settled in and had time to stew in your mind with each passing moment. It was over. All over. The dreaded ending, the wreck it would leave behind, it was greeting you like a warm friend, announcing its arrival. 

I'll just shut my eyes, forget that you were mine

How do you go from making one your home

And then just letting it all go

Your voice was numb and flat, quiet undulations with no emotion to give them any fluidity or any life. Your words were just a means to an end. 

“Nothing, Neteyam. I don’t want anything from you anymore.” 

You turned your back to him, unable to look at his skin on which traces of you still lingered, at his eyes in which you always saw the window to his soul, and your soul, the meaning of life and your future happiness encapsulated, his lips that traveled your body like a curious wanderer, finding Valhala in between your thighs, his hands which held your face and touched your hair, which pushed you closer to him or on him. A glance at any of these things and you would crumble, and you would shatter in a million pieces that no one knew well enough to put back together apart from him. You were a puzzle only he knew how to solve, and in his absence, you were all alone, and broken, left to mend your own cracks, knowing full well you’ll never be able to be put yourself back together quite the same way you were before. 

“Vol… please.”

“Leave, Neteyam. Just go. Just fucking go.”

Stay. Please. I love you. I’m so in love with you. Don’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to lose you. Please. Please. Please. 

The sound of the door sliding closed behind Neteyam was the last thing you heard before he was out of your life, leaving everything you had behind.

So I breathe and let you go

How do I breathe and let you go?

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr @bananafruityawne @liluvtojineteyam @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @netemoon

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You…(Part 7)

YouTube!Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️:Arguing,Chan having dark thoughts, thoughts of killing himself, not feeling good enough, Lee Know teasing reader😏 (let me know if I missed anything)

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

(A/N: 🚨🚨🚨ATTENTION 🚨🚨🚨: All text messages are at the bottom of the post. Since Tumblr will not let me post this THE WAY I WANT TO. I have to do it this way. I will put a () to indicate where the text messages is SUPPOSED TO BE so you can scroll down to look at them. (I’m fine. I’m cool){I’M NOT FINE} Happy reading!)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

After watching Y/N's video, Changbin turned to his leader, their expressions reflecting a mix of emotions. “Wait, so it's true? You never liked her from the beginning. Is that why you always avoided talking about her? Were you jealous of someone being similar to you?” All eyes are on Chan and in this moment he wishes the floor beneath him would open up and swallow him. “Didn't you like her from the start? You mentioned how much you appreciated her motherly demeanor.” Hyunjin is the next one to speak up. It’s like every word he wants to say withers on his tongue. A few of the younger members are shaking their heads, while one in particular is gazing intently at his Hyung.

"I thought you promised not to bring that up in your letter to her," Felix said, eyes fixed on him. "What's going on? Did you know he never really liked her all this time?" Han blurted out, clearly shocked by the unfolding drama.

“He told me everything, from the start-up to now. When I had last spoken to him he told me he wasn’t going to put that in the letter.” He pivots back to his Leader. "What's different?" All eyes snap back to him. “I decided to be completely honest with her. She always valued honesty over anything else, and I knew she would prefer me to be upfront rather than lie or hide the truth. I was fully aware that it might not be well-received.” His gaze returns to the screen, where Y/N's smile shines through.

"It's hard to believe that she can forgive me for what I've done. I feel terrible knowing that I've caused her pain. It's especially painful to realize that she held onto Wolf Chan as if her life depended on it. And now, I've shattered the trust she had in me. All because I let my jealousy get the best of me over a girl that Stays couldn't stop talking about. I see now that they were just trying to share the story of a fan who loves and supports us, but I twisted it into an emotion that I never should have felt." He looks down at his hands, feeling regretful.

“I was aware of the potential risks when I wrote that letter. I knew that if she decided to share it publicly, there might be people who would criticize me for expressing my thoughts. Nevertheless, she bravely asked her audience not to react with hate towards me.”

As he looks back at his team, he's greeted with a mix of emotions. One person, in particular, has been quiet throughout. It's difficult to believe that his leader has been feeling jealous of Y/N. "I didn't confide in any of you because I know how much you all care about her. Maybe I should have."

"Maybe you should have," Lee Know's words hung in the air, capturing everyone's attention. "I thought you liked her, but now I don't know what to believe. How long did you not like her before you started liking her?" All eyes turned to their Hyung, waiting for an answer.

Anticipation hung in the air as everyone waited for their leader's response. Finally, the answer came: “Six months.”

"SIX MONTHS?!" Changbin and Han exclaimed in unison. Their leader nodded solemnly. All the boys shook their heads in disbelief. "Chan Hyung," the hyung in question looked at his Maknae. "I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we expected better from you. We've always looked to you for guidance, and the one time we were looking forward to something, you go and ruin it with a letter. I hope you're happy." I.N. stood up to leave, and the rest of the group followed suit, leaving only two people behind.

Chan was bracing himself for the inevitable and was ready to bear the weight of the shame and guilt directed at him. Lee Know struggled to contain his anger, but as he sat in the presence of his Hyung, his rage only intensified. He hurriedly got up and distanced himself from Chan. The only person left was Chan's Aussie brother.

Despite feeling upset about his leader’s behavior, Felix chose not to hold any grudges against him. He understands that everyone experiences emotions differently and believes in showing compassion towards others. “They’ll come around.” Chan's mind was lost when a sudden voice made him jump. “Lee Know, probably not so much, but the others will come around. They’re just appalled that not only did you lie, but you kept this from them.”

Chan remained silent, and Felix hadn't anticipated a response. As Felix departed, Chan was left in solitude with his tumultuous thoughts, reminiscent of his early days as a trainee. It had been a while since Chan had been alone with his thoughts in such a disquieting manner. ‘Why didn't I open up to my members about my feelings? Why did I let others' opinions affect me? And why did I confess to the one person I was excited to meet that I couldn't stand her?’ The negative thoughts continued to spiral out of control. ‘You were never fit to be a leader. You lost all the trust you’ve earned over a girl because you got jealous. You should have killed yourself when you had the chance.’ Chan's phone suddenly rings with an unfamiliar number. Without hesitation, he slides the button and answers.

“Hello?”

“I was wondering if you were still alive.” That voice. It’s the same voice as the one they just heard. Chan had forgotten he had left his number for her in case she wanted to talk. He didn’t expect her to call so soon. Any negative thoughts he had vanished, replaced by a rush of anxiety.

“Chris? Are you there?” Realizing he hadn’t responded, he finally replied.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. I just, uh, forgot that I left my number for you. I didn’t expect you to call this soon.” Y/N's laughter on the other end causes Chan's heart to race excitedly.

“Well, I didn’t expect to get a phone number anyway.” She hesitates, and Chan instinctively holds his breath, anticipating the impending strike.

“You have such a natural talent with words. Has anyone ever told you that?” Chan takes a deep breath and slowly shuts his eyes.

"I debated whether to tell you, but I know you appreciate honesty," Y/N nodded, even though he couldn't see her.

“I understand. I didn't anticipate one of my Biases feeling jealous of me. I'm sure the Stays didn't intend to contribute, but their actions may have unknowingly affected the situation.”

"I'm realizing that I made a mistake. I didn't understand what Stays was trying to convey. It felt like they were belittling me and praising you. But I now see that wasn't the intention at all. I regret feeling that way towards you when you've done nothing wrong. I'm truly sorry, Y/N." She heard sniffles on the other end and immediately sprang into action.

“No, Chan, please don’t get upset. I’m not mad, okay? Confused definitely but I’m not mad or angry at you. Please don’t cry. I don’t want you crying over something like this. It’s not worth it.” It almost seemed like nothing she was telling him worked. She felt like she only had one other option.

What if we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine

Nothing could keep us apart

You’d be the one I was meant to find

Chan's tears cease as he listens to a beautiful voice singing - it's Y/N. Her singing, one of his favorite songs, fills him with courage, and he joins in.

It’s up to you and it’s up to me

No one can say what we get to be

So why don’t we rewrite the stars?

Maybe the world could be ours tonight

They finished the song together, and Chan felt a weight lift off his shoulders. For a brief moment, he almost forgot why he was upset. Just as he started to sink back into that dark place, Y/N spoke up.

“I want you to know that you're not alone, Chan. I understand that your boys may be upset with you right now, but I believe they'll come around.” He scuffs lightly.

“You’re starting to sound like Felix.”

"Just know that we can both work through this together. We're in different time zones, but I'm here for you. If I can't respond immediately, I promise to reply as soon as possible. Don't let negative thoughts take over, Chris. You have the strength to conquer them. I'll be your cheerleader, rooting for you every step of the way." Chan's laughter fills the room for the first time in a while.

“Are you going to wear a uniform when you’re cheering for me?” He teases her.

“I don't have one, but I’ll make sure to go buy one just for you.”

(First three pics of Chan)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As time passed, they kept in touch as much as possible. Gradually, his members started to come back around, realizing that their leader had his shortcomings and felt awful after they walked out. However, one person still kept their distance from him: Lee Know.

Chan anticipated this situation, but he felt unsure how to handle it. He pondered whether he should address the issue at all. Eventually, Chan resolved to converse with his mischievous bunny, Minho. However, he promised himself he wouldn't press the issue if Minho were unwilling to talk.

(Last two pics of Chan)

Guess what? Lee Know was doing better than expected. Lee Minho was doing more than okay - he was doing great!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After turning off her camera, Y/N returned to the items the boys had given her. To her surprise, instead of just one phone number, she had received two of them – one from Chan and one from Minho. The realization made her heart flutter with happiness. Y/N prided herself on not holding grudges against people, significantly if they had never wronged her. While it had been painful to read Chan's letter, she tried to empathize with his perspective. She couldn't fully comprehend his actions but could at least grasp what might have transpired.

She couldn't shake the feeling that the boys might be unaware of Chan's true feelings. She hoped they wouldn't be too harsh on him. She also worried about the fans lashing out at him for speaking his mind. After sorting through all the packages and organizing them into piles for upcoming videos, she decided to text both boys or at least she thought she did.

She debated whether to text or call and whether to contact one or both. After half an hour, she chose to call Chan. She was worried about him, and her concerns were justified. She wished she could be there to comfort him. When he started crying and couldn't console him, she decided to sing to lift his spirits. At that moment, her singing ability didn't matter; what mattered was helping him.

After speaking with Chan, she made up her mind to text Minho. She pondered whether they were both aware of sharing their numbers with her or if it was a mutual decision. The tone of Chan's voice suggested that Lee Know was taking it the hardest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn't hear from him until the next day after waking up. She smiled and sent a reply. (First two of Minho) They would text each other about what she was up to and what he was cooking for dinner. He even started sending her pictures of the delicious food he makes and his adorable kids. (Last three of Minho) He was on the verge of forgetting why he was furious with Hyung until she casually mentioned him during their phone conversation.

“I’ve meant to ask you this for a while, but I keep forgetting.” He smiles as he listens to the sound of her voice.

“Go on. Ask me whatever you want to know.”

“How’s Chan been doing? I haven’t heard you mention anything about him since I first contacted you.” Lee Know froze and blinked rapidly, feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

“I don’t know. Haven’t talked to him recently.” His words came out stiffly. From her recent chat with the leader, Y/N knew he hadn't approached Chan yet. She didn't want to pressure Minho to speak with Chan, but she also couldn't let things stay as they were.

"Okay, I was just concerned. I didn't know if something had happened. That's why I asked." She says in a gentle tone. Lee Know let out a heavy sigh, and she sensed his unease.

“Minho? Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not okay.”

“What’s wrong? You’re not hurt or anything, right?” He smiles at her, worrying.

“I'm alright, but the group disagreed, and things haven't been the same since.”

“What's the story? If it's too personal, feel free to keep it to yourself.” Lee Know felt a strong desire to kiss Y/N. He would have acted on it if it weren't for the distance between them.

“It happened because of you.”

“Me?! Why me?!” He proceeded to describe what happened after they finished watching the video. He talked about how he stormed out in anger, feeling the urge to punch Chan Hyung but managing to restrain himself. Instead, he released his frustration on a punching bag.

“Everyone else has made up with him, but I haven’t.”

“What’s stopping you?” He struggled to answer that one question. His frustration would bubble up again whenever he tried to think about it.

“A lot of things. That’s all I’m going to say about it.”

“Alright, I hope I'm not prying, but I want to ensure you guys don't end up falling out.” She pauses before continuing, “I understand this may be difficult to hear, but sometimes issues like this don't resolve independently. Having an open conversation with Chan and expressing your feelings might be necessary. I know how much you care about Chan, and I'm sure whatever occurred has strained your relationship. It would be best to address this before it becomes even more difficult to fix. Just a little advice from someone who cares about you.” Lee Know's face lights up with a subtle smile. “You're under no obligation to take my advice, but addressing the issue now might be more beneficial than putting it off.”

Lee Know was sitting on his bed, wrestling with whether to approach Chan or put it off for another day. He appreciated Y/N's efforts to mend things, even though it wasn't her issue to fix. He didn't want to dismiss her good intentions, but deep down, he knew she was right. With the Maniac comeback in full swing, it was essential for them to reconcile and move ahead together.

Lee Know finally decides to take action so they can both concentrate on what's important. As Lee Know strides towards the door and reaches for the knob, he is taken aback to find his Leader standing there, hand poised to knock. They lock eyes, and Chan slowly lowers his hand. "Hey, I was just coming to see if you wanted to talk."

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Agatha All Along episode 7-9 speculation

Just ahead of episode 7 airing this week, I have some thoughts on where I think this series might be going but I'll put them under the cut as it might be considered spoilers if you haven't seen episode 6 yet. So...

Now that we've got Billy/William's backstory, I'm seeing a lot of fandom screams along the lines of 'Is Agatha going to die in her own show?? OMG that would be the ultimate lesbian character death trope, so bad, Jac Schaefer would NEVER!!". And I want to back up a few steps.

Yes, if you've seen the mid season trailer, we see Rio in her full grim reaper costume, so it's not looking likely that everybody makes it out of the show alive. And if you remember one of the first lines she ever said in episode one, she was there 'for a job' in the first place....

But they also both confirm that Rio and Agatha can't kill each other as it currently stands. Maybe the result of some centuries ago blood pact....? Or a wedding ritual? Who knows, and maybe they will explain it all and break that bond by the last episode, but in any case, I don't care if Agatha lives or dies as long as her (and Rio's) story is told well and concluded sensibly. These two clearly have a rich history that quite literally goes centuries back, and I'm really excited to see that story unfold and what it means for them now. And from what I've seen so far it makes me hopeful that we are going to see this story be told and potentially concluded in an epic way that does not erase the queer representation or play into tropes. They are canonically a lesbian couple, the first in the MCU, that is CONFIRMED. Unfortunately, for fans who are after sweet domestic lesbian love stories, this was never going to be the one, this is the MCU and these two characters are witches, one of which is quite literally Death... so I'm not expecting a happy ending (but for those that do, the AU fanfics do already exist 😉).

If Agatha dies in this show, the question will be, was her story told to make this a worthy conclusion? And I trust Jac Schaefer to make it so. The trope only applies if the lesbian character dies for no reason other than that they were gay and therefore the 'bad guy'. And the fact that Agatha Harkness is quite literally in love with Death carries a lot of potential to make her own death an epic love story. We will know it very soon, I for one, am sat for this gay explosion (quote from Aubrey Plaza) and if two hot witches making out means somebody dies...well, so be it. 😉

[dead-dolphins]

We need to talk about the changes on Mr. Senator.

Friends, you know how much I cherish this AU to the point of being meticulous with the plot (as I am with any fic, really). However, I need to discuss the changes I intend to make to Mr. Senator from the “Things You Need to Know About Mr. Senator AU” that I wrote previously.

But before I begin, let me share what I aim to capture with this fic. Ideally, I should demonstrate things by actually writing rather than explain my reasons, but I feel it’s necessary to clarify so you can grasp the essence of what this fic is about.

Mr. Senator is a fic where I want to portray a Mikasa who is deeply in love with a man she has admired from afar. This man, however, is significantly older and a politician, making her feel insignificant and afraid to approach him for fear of appearing foolish. This changes when she hears a rumour that he plans to marry for electoral gain, needing a wife to secure more votes. Mikasa can not bear the idea of him belonging to anyone else. The pain of seeing him with another would be unbearable, a wound too deep to heal. Driven by this fear and her overwhelming love, she resolves to do whatever it takes to make him notice her, even if it means trapping him. What I essentially envision is a shy yet determined Mikasa. Though she may seem naïve, she is ready to step into the light, determined to make Eren see her as a brave woman and a potential wife. Her complex feelings of love, admiration, fear, and determination intertwine with the recklessness of youth and passionate infatuation. Her youthful impulsiveness propels her forward, making her bold in ways she never imagined. I dare to say that it's a lot of passion for someone so young YET this passion is not just a fleeting crush but a deep-seated need to be seen, to be valued by the man she loves.

So, with that being said, here are some changes (I will not say them all, lol).

First and foremost, to dispel any doubt, I’ve decided that this fic will be told solely from one point of view, and that will, of course, be Mikasa’s. She is the heart of this story, and although you might be interested in Eren’s perspective, I believe Mikasa’s lens will provide the clearest understanding.

With Mikasa’s point of view as the central focus, certain elements, such as Eren being of low-born status, will be adjusted. Instead, I’ll portray him as a wealthy man. This change facilitates their interactions mean to their social class. However, he will remain an Ackerman protégé, and his wealth will not alter this aspect. How he will do that? Keep reading.

Previously, I mentioned that Mikasa has younger brothers, but now they will be younger sisters. So, Mikasa is an older sister of a family full of girls. This shift will impact her psyche, offering rich narrative potential that I can't fully detail at this moment (but the keyword for this is: daddy's issues or something of the sort).

Eren has an ex-girlfriend from their social circle who will be displeased to see the senator she once knew taking an interest in a little girl. Her resentment will play a role in the unfolding drama.

And yes, you read that correctly—senator! In the earlier sneak peek, Eren was merely a candidate, but now he is firmly established as a senator seeking re-election. His ambition stretches further, for he harbours aspirations of one day becoming PRESIDENT.

In this iteration, Mikasa's father is absent, and instead, the family is under the care of her uncle, none other than Kenny Ackerman. This dynamic is one I haven’t fully explored in my previous writings, so I felt it was time to delve into it. Consequently, Uncle Kenny will be a prominent figure in Mikasa’s life, leading to numerous clashes with Mikasa’s mother.

Speaking of Mikasa’s mother, she is a formidable woman, ahead of her time. However, Kenny often outmanoeuvres her at every turn. To survive in this challenging environment, Mikasa’s mother focuses on empowering her daughter, making Mikasa a key player in their family’s struggles (you shall see it later!)

Lastly, Mikasa will be twenty years old in this story, rather than eighteen. This decision ties directly into the dynamic I want to explore between Kenny, Mikasa and Mikasa's mother. In their society, women were expected to marry quickly, but Mikasa defied this norm, which will be a significant element in the narrative. The full implications of this choice will unfold as the story progresses.

Additionally, Eren will be 32 years old!

That’s all for now, folks! I’m thrilled to bring this fic to life, like, for real! It’s shaping up to be a long, single shot (unless I separate it) and I’m diving deep into research to make it unlike anything I’ve written before.

¡Estén atentos para algo realmente INCREÍBLE!! ! :D

[septemberlikestea]

big shadow of the erdtree final boss spoilerful thoughts. really long and rambly read!

a problem i have is that i LOVED how miquellas story unfolded and how well it fit in with most of my previous thoughts about him. like that hes kind and has truly noble and good intentions but doesnt completely refuse to use force if pushed (his charm to subdue any ill intent towards him, malenia serving to enact violence on his behalf), the curse extending beyond eternal youth to twist his fate into dangling his full potential just out of reach all the time (failing to save malenia from the scarlet rot, failing to either revive or fully kill godwyn, the haligtree failing to grow into a new erdtree, failing to bring in a new age because we kill him, etc) and that he truly does tend to make others do work for him (likely because of his eternal youth and therefore fragility). it was so compelling to me.

the fresh revelations about him i also enjoyed so thoroughly (how his charm actually works, st trina, how he truly sees the world the way a child does - there is injustice and thats unfair, everyone should be kind to everyone) and the way the messages of the crosses slowly went from him abandoning his flesh to abandoning aspects of his very being... i havent played dark sauce three but making him act as the lothric of the final boss is also very interesting because i do very much enjoy how these games take old concepts and play with them like dolls. its very fun and a unique way of storytelling that fromsoft can do with how rich their game history is.

somehow i did not find myself terribly upset with the lack of mentions of malenia (even though its still a bit.. hmm the way malenia cannot be mentioned without miquella but miquella... can. and is mentioned without malenia) due to how miquellas journey seems to have taken him to the rauh ruins and romina, who accepted and embraced the rot? im a little confused about how dryleaf dane is a summon for her even though hes on miquellas side but tbh the followers of miquella do some pretty misguided things because they want to be closer to him. im still inclined to believe romina could be an ally to miquella or at least agree with his philosophy - she guards the sealing tree that protects him in enir-ilim. she is compassionate, reaching out to the abandoned pests and aeonian butterflies to comfort them. miquellas statements on the order he intends to bring (the age of compassion and love) doesnt say anything about the rot, because the rot itself isnt inherently cruel or loving. it just is. and there isnt any obvious sign of conflict between miquella and romina that i found - and it ties in interestingly to how miquellas cut dialogue for malenias phase transition says "let all things flourish, whether graceful or malign." which always read to me like he is accepting that he cant help malenias scarlet rot beyond what he already did, now choosing to love and embrace her even as she becomes something other than herself. of course, cut dialogue is cut dialogue, but i find that it does offer some insight into the direction miquellas story could have taken and possibly did take.

...but i just cant get over how much of an asspull radahn 2 was like 😭 i did the questlines and i suspected he was going to be there from the dialogues (i still believed the leaks were fake because lets be real. he did look very modded) and i can KIND OF look back and see that there were things that MAYBE served as foreshadowing in the main game... like the st trina items in caelid or the lilies by redmane castle and that the true reason for the battle of aeonia was never wholly clear. i wont count the trailer whisper because that could have been anything. like i KIND OF can get behind the fact that radahn, being a sorcerer and a son of the greatest sorceress to ever live #1 queen rennala, would have a primal glintstone and therefore a soul that is quite friendly to being moved from body to body. we have at least two examples of this occurring, from characters with stories that involve quite a bit of body hopping and also are related to radahn being slain - ranni (his SISTER!!) and sellen (who is the character that introduces the concept of properly switching bodies).

so rannis body is made in her mentors image (though likely the face isnt the snow crones) but even if it wasnt - its a manmade puppet that can be made into anything. it also doesnt look anything like rannis empyrean body, being small and blue. sellens bodies are also puppets and we see that they dont suddenly morph in appearance to fit her soul - her old and new body have different hair colors and facial features. they look like her because they were made to look like her!

so why!! does radahn 2 look absolutely nothing like mohg!! the tiny horns on his arms are the least mohg thing he could have - mohg didnt have horns there!! where are mohgs horns that poked out his eye? where are the wings?? why is he so yassified. like.. hello... we established with ranni and sellen that the newly inhabited body doesnt change to look like the soul. if anything the soul itself might change to fit the body - rannis spirit face doesnt match up with her empyrean bodys face. what the hell happened there.

miquella was not established to be able to give makeovers to people, i dont think. like thats not a thing he was ever stated to be able to do in main game? but he can do that now? what happened? the intent seems to be that radahn 2 is a younger version of radahn but why is that... is it miquellas eternal youth applying to him now too? is he doing some twin prince curse sharing that makes his and radahns age even out? why is he wearing his old armor though.. and if radahn 2 is the idealised version of radahn from miquellas childhood memories im just a little confused why that is. was war enthusiast radahn really so reclusive that miquella never saw him since then? was miquella too busy to go to caelid? were all paintings of radahn property of rykard, even though rykard also seems to have interacted with miquella to some degree? i feel like the reason why radahn 2 looks the way he does is very much lost on me.

i feel like the already bad perception of radahn 2: electric boogaloo i got from having the buildup be so scarce in comparison to the other final boss (elden beast admittedly is a little twist boss but radagon is VERY well established through your whole journey, you learn so much about him as you go) combined with the fact that hes literally being dragged from the grave of his pretty complete story to be here... was made so much worse with his design. wouldnt it have been so much more enjoyable if he was a little... you know... fromsoft freaky. like good ole ludwig the horse-man abomination. or the one reborn. or godrick. or putrescent knight. ???

like even the fact that shamans had flesh that had the property of being able to fuse with others contributes little to explaining why radahn 2 looks the way he does - there shouldnt be any radahn flesh? alexander ate it armor and all? its just his soul in there? argh.

and the fact that omen horns disappear on death (sometimes! aka with morgott, mohgs literal twin. doesnt seem to work this way for other cruicible horned beings?) doesnt seem to be related here because radahn 2 HAS horns. and also two eyes. did he just... always have little horns under all his armor? why is this being revealed now.

also what kind of kindness did radahn have... kindness towards sellia? towards his horsey? the cut description of his cat? he is described as a general, his armies love fighting and war. hes godfreys #1 stan, and godfrey killed soooo many giants for being.. giants. waging war was so central to godfreys being that losing the opportunity to fight made him worthless to marika. he is loving towards dead morgott and that doesnt make him a kind person. radahn being a person and capable of experiencing love doesnt make him a kind person!! what did i miss!! i dont really think there was a retcon but i definitely think that something is really really lacking with this specifc bit.

to close this off ill say that initially i full-on hated the boss reveal. both how it worked as our first meeting with miquella and radahn 2. my feelings have settled a lot since then! but while reviewing miquellas story made me feel satisfied with his arc, i am really really struggling to enjoy radahn being... there. and he definitely is just There. he exists. doesnt say anything. with how little influence he has on the dlc plot i feel like they could have just cut the middleman and kept mohg around. would have honestly worked well enough with the formless mother influence everywhere. though frejya would probably have to go with radahn and that would suck. is it worth having an unsatisfying boss in order to have a very enjoyable npc? i dont know what to think.

also the vessel and lord thing is really adding a new layer of "???" with godfrey. is he also possessing a body that wasnt his??? is there some deep lore about how godfrey is the soul but hoarah loux is the body??? god. i dont know. i dont know.

i do expect that my opinions will inevitably change somehow as time goes on and i find more connections between things... but after 2 weeks of digesting the lore im still not liking how this all turned out.

TL;DR: i love miquella but why is radahn there.

[soaplickerrr]

Stray Love

~ Bonding ~

Chapter #5 (this is a filler chapter lololilol)

〉〉 Previous Chapter

〉〉 Next Chapter

Warnings ~ Fem Reader.

This is short, all chapters will be short, and the story will overall be short. I'm trying to get used to writing again.

Proofread by @hereforthedrinkss

~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed in a blur, filled with excitement and anticipation. You and Hyunjin texted non-stop, your conversations becoming more frequent and intimate. You shared stories, jokes, and even mundane details about your days. It felt like you were getting to know him on a deeper level, and each text made you smile wider.

Finally, payday arrived. You had been eagerly waiting for this moment, saving every penny to afford the upcoming Stray Kids concert. The moment you saw the notification that your salary had been deposited, you rushed to the ticketing website. Your heart raced as you entered your payment details, and a wave of relief washed over you when the confirmation email popped up on your screen. You had your ticket.

You couldn’t wait to tell Hyunjin the news. Grinning, you quickly typed out a message:

-Guess who got paid! Just bought a ticket for the upcoming concert. But tell your company to chill with these prices, it’s like they don’t want us poor people to be happy 😞😞

His reply came almost instantly.

-YOU BOUGHT TICKETS??? You could’ve easily got them for free. FROM ME😡😡

You chuckled at his dramatic reaction and responded just as quickly,

-No, I don’t want to abuse my powers of being close to you. That’s called ‘Using people’ and I don’t do that 😤

Hyunjin was persistent, as always.

-YOU WOULDN'T BE USING ME BECAUSE I’M THE ONE THAT WANTS TO GIVE IT TO YOU. Whatever, at least I’ll get to see your pretty face at the concert. ANSWER MY CALL!!

A video call notification popped up on your screen. With a flutter of excitement, you answered. Hyunjin’s face appeared, his expression warm and happy.

“Hey!” he greeted, his voice soft and full of affection. “I can’t believe you bought the ticket. You’re really something else, you know that?”

You laughed. “Well, I couldn’t miss the chance to see you guys perform live. Plus, I wanted to surprise you.”

The conversation flowed effortlessly. You talked about the concert, your excitement evident in every word. You discussed potential outfits, each trying to outdo the other with creative ideas. The hours flew by, and before you knew it, night had fallen.

Both of you had your phones plugged in, and you continued talking until your eyes grew heavy. The sound of Hyunjin’s voice was comforting, and you found yourself slowly drifting off to sleep. Your phones were propped up on your dressers, ensuring that if either of you woke up earlier than the other, you could see each other sleeping.

Morning came with a jolt. You woke to the sound of chaos from Hyunjin’s end. Han, Seungmin, and Felix had burst into his room, determined to wake him up in the most obnoxious way possible. Han was jumping on the bed, Felix was making bizarre noises with his mouth, and Seungmin was hitting Hyunjin’s face with a pillow.

You watched the scene unfold, unable to contain your laughter. You quickly screen recorded the hilarious wake-up call, wanting to keep the memory forever. Your amusement, however, was cut short when Han grabbed Hyunjin’s phone.

“Guys, look!” Han called out, waving the phone around.

Felix and Seungmin crowded around, their eyes widening when they saw you on the screen. Realizing what was happening, you quickly hung up, your heart racing.

Hyunjin, still half-asleep, groaned. “What the hell are Seungmin and Felix doing here? This isn’t their dorm.”

Seungmin and Felix ignored his question, their attention fixed on him. “Who was the girl on the phone?” Seungmin demanded, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Han, always the instigator, cheekily added, “Yeah, Hyunjin. Who’s the girl? You’ve brought her to the dorm before, right? And didn’t Chan say she’s the girl from the coffee shop you keep going to?”

Hyunjin rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up fully. “Yeah, that’s her,” he admitted, his voice groggy but affectionate. “We’ve been talking a lot lately.”

Felix grinned. “Talking, huh? Is that all?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes but smiled. “Yes, talking. And maybe a bit more. But seriously, leave her alone, okay? She’s special to me.”

The trio continued to tease him throughout the day, following him around and bombarding him with questions. Despite the relentless ribbing, Hyunjin’s thoughts remained on you and the upcoming concert. He couldn’t wait to see you there, amidst the energy and excitement of the crowd.

As night fell, the boys finally relented. Hyunjin retreated to his room, exhausted but happy. He picked up his phone and sent you a quick text: “Can’t wait to see you at the concert. It’s going to be amazing.”

Your reply came moments later: “I can’t wait either. It’s going to be unforgettable.”

Hyunjin smiled to himself, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. The concert was just around the corner, and with you there, it was sure to be an experience he would cherish forever.

THIS IS SHORTTTTTTT~~~

AND BADDDDDD~~~~

BECAUSE ITS ONLY A FILLER CHAPTERRR~~~~~

[historicfailure]

You're trying - trying to survive, keeping your head up, moving forward. And Kakashi seems to do the same. Somehow. Still, how the fuck does he manage to annoy you this much?

~ X ~

Sorry for the long wait! I'm really, really trying. Somehow like the character in this fic lol

TLDR: I know how to write the story, having the energy and time to write it is on a whooooole different page. I have some chapters pre-written now, I will throw them out sporadically etc but no promises.

Anyway, thanks for maybe staying with this fic for so long and hope you guys have fun with this chapter!

~ X ~

“Fuuuuck…” Your eyes were burning. More and more letters blurred together into ugly blobs on your screen the longer you looked at them, but you couldn’t just stop now. Just a few more questions, then you could wrap up the questionnaire and be done for today. Nevermind that it was already way past your usual hours. The evening sun didn’t make things easier: The orange light filtering through the blinds easily and directly onto the screen. With a low sigh, you leaned back into your chair, let your head tip backwards and stretched your back. Bones cracked loudly, making you sigh again, though this time in relief at the tension fading away in your entire body. More bones popped loudly as you stretched, yawning and moving like a lazy cat, your back arched and balancing yourself in your chair. 

A few steps away from your desk were in order. Definitely. As you stood up, you could look around and groaned loudly. 

“Seriously?” There was no one else on the floor left. All the desks were empty, PCs shut off and lights shut down. One look at a nearby clock made you wince. Fuck. It was closing in on 8PM, nearly three hours after you usually left for the day. 

Your eyes wandered to the doors leading towards freedom, fresh air and a good night full of sleep. Potentially a quick meal as well. Right on cue, your stomach rumbled, loudly demanding anything to fill it, preferably something fatty and hearty. 

“Well, that was clear.”

“Holy-!” You flinched around, one hand flying to your chest. “Fuck, you can’t just-!”

“Sneak up on people?” Kakashi sounded annoyingly unapologetically. The creases around his eyes deepend by a notch. “Yeah, so I have been told a few times.”

“Then why don’t you listen?”

He shrugged. “It’s too much fun seeing the reactions.”

“Oh, you-!” Just barely, you bit your tongue. Nothing you could say would affect him or change his behavior in any way possible. Better to save your energy for the task you still had to complete. “Fine. At least I’m awake now.”

“To do what?” Kakashi nodded at your PC. “Work more? While I can hear your stomach grumble from here?”

“Not much of a choice. The questionnaire is nearly done. I just want to get this over with, then it’s at least,” you rolled your eyes at the screen, glaring as you did so, “done for today.”

“True that, true that.” He nodded slowly. “Then maybe, this will help.”

Only now, you noticed the small white plastic bag in his hand. He placed the bag on your table, eyes fixed on your face and with the small creases around them still in place. “Tadaa.”

“What is that”, you asked as you were already stepping closer, “some kind of bribe attempt?”

“Possibly. Is it working?”

“Depends on the bribe.” Cautiously, you pulled the plastic away to reveal white paper, made to hold together food. “Say, what did you get me?”

“Maybe, if you would stop treating some food like I hid a bomb in there, you could find out yourself.”

“Or you could just tell me.” Despite your words, you picked the mystery food out of the bag and started to unfold the waxy paper. The instant you saw some luscious green and the bright red of a tomato peek through the white, you knew what Kakashi had purchased. “You went back to the café?”

Kakashi hummed lowly. “Yup. Saw you sitting here still when I wanted to go out myself, and thought you could use some food. I even asked you, but you were so out of it you didn’t even react.”

You winced. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. It has been… a long day and I wanted to get this done.”

“Hey, I get it.” His hands rose before they dropped back to his sides, hands sneaking in the pockets of his pants. “Sometimes, work is just swallowing you whole. Hard to tear yourself away.”

“Yeah.” Carefully, you freed the BLT-sandwich from the paper, until you could take a first cautious bite. It was just as delicious as you remembered from yesterday. “Fuck, this is great. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Kakashi still smiled as you took bite after bite from the sandwich. “Just wanted to make sure you’re not devouring the table or something.”

“Because Kushina would have to replace it?”

“Something like that.” He paused for a moment, before pulling out Kurenai’s chair and sitting down. It looked like he wanted to get comfy and stay for a bit longer, and now as you had a bit of food, you were more than willing to allow him that. “How are you doing?”

Between bites, you thought for a moment. “It’s going good,” you paused slightly, trying to find the most fitting words, “I think. Just taking a bit longer today than I expected. I want to get this questionnaire done, just so we can continue with the next step of the campaign.”

“No, no.” Kakashi chuckled. Like it was an instinct for him, he leaned further back in the chair, silver hair falling into his face. “I mean, how are you doing? Not work.”

“Oh.” That you didn’t expect. Not at all. You paused for a few seconds, taking another bite as you did so. “I guess… It’s good. It’s okay, right now.”

“Not too stressed?”

“No. It’s… it’s really alright.”

“Okay.” Kakashi nodded slowly. His dark eyes bore into yours, and you found yourself caught in a snare. Like a rabbit sitting right across a snake, enraptured and hypnotized right in the face of danger. Because Kakashi was danger, in every sense of the word — for you as a member of the marketing firm, and for you as a human being. Because, as you were again painfully reminded, Kakashi was, well, beautiful. 

Even now, in your exhausted, tired and yet wired state of too much energy due to work and freshly refueled with delicious food, you were more than ready to admit that he was. There was a reason why he could easily flirt with the secretary downstairs, or get phone numbers pushed onto him like crazy. Even though he didn’t try hard, his silver hair, slouched posture speaking of his overall nonchalance and the casual yet somehow chic way of dressing himself, really worked out for him. Subconsciously, you tried to straighten yourself out as well as brush off some bread crumbs off your chest and mouth. And wait, wasn’t there also some sauce stuck to the corner of your mouth? 

Kakashi chuckled. “Something the matter?”

“No.” 

“Well then…” Again, he nodded, only to get up and put his hands back into the pockets of his loose pants. “I’m going to go, but don’t stay for too long.”

“Sure. It’s just a few more questions, anyway.” You shrugged weakly, like it was no big deal. 

He hummed. “That’s what we all think, but before we know it, we’re working until midnight on the smallest of details to get it just right. Take care.” And with that, he just… up and left. Didn’t wait for you to answer, just walked away, like he just hadn’t handed you a sandwich, asked about your wellbeing or gave you some friendly advice. Carefully, you looked down at the rest of the sandwich in your hands, only to take another bite. This time though, you were cautious, tasted the entirety of the sandwich and tried to treasure it. 

Fuck. He is nice to me now. This feels… really, really weird. Somehow. 

~ X ~

Long evening yesterday? Good job in getting the work done, but remember to rest well today. You deserve it. 

~ X ~

The questionnaire was doing well so far. You wanted to say the questions were good and well received because they were all created during a long yet productive all-nighter, the reality though was that after you finished the sandwich Kakashi gave you a few days back, you simply went back home. Next morning, with fresh eyes and mind, you were able to look at the questionnaire once more and find several typing errors and clarity issues, which would have impacted the research severely if you didn’t fix it. 

Looking at the results, lots of people noticed the change of the brand Akatsuki from being cozy, well-fitted home clothes to a more expensive lifestyle-brand, not aimed anymore at the masses. Honestly, you hadn’t needed the questionnaire to tell you that, but it was nice to have something on paper to prove to the managers of Akatsuki that this was how their brand was seen. 

After a day of compiling all the results into a single document, you were happy, noticing that you only stayed for a bit longer than your usual working time. You would still be able to go to a nearby store and get one of the ready-to-go meals, so you could have a lazy evening tonight! 

Quickly, you packed up all of your things. In the process, your eyes wandered around the room. There were quite a few people still there, but none of them looked like they would stay for more than two hours, max. Anko definitely was staying for a bit longer, she had already said so during your shared lunch break. For a second, you thought about saying your goodbye’s to her directly, but when she grumbled loudly, only to curse and smash her flat hand onto the desk in front of her so hard that several pens and pencils scattered around the table flew into all directions, you decided it was better for your own safety to keep your distance. 

But as you took the first steps towards freedom, your wandering eyes also flew to the corner of the wide open office, where Kakashi’s table sat in his little, secluded alcove. And there he was still, just barely visible over his two wide screens, some wisps of silver hair peeking over, illuminated by the blue hue of the screen-lighting. 

I should probably check up on him.

Ah, he is fine. He doesn’t need me asking if he’s alright.

Kakashi suddenly groaned; so loudly that your thought process came to a screeching halt. You watched how he got out of his seat, but not to pack up his things and leave as well, but to grab his coffee cup and march right past you towards the kitchen. Without a doubt to grab some coffee, potentially staying late to work on something.

I probably should do something for him.

Why the fuck should I?

Because he got me something to eat yesterday.

I don’t have to.

He didn’t have to, either. And what did he do?

… Got me a sandwich.

Just barely, you kept an eye roll in. Right. As far as you were concerned, you owed Kakashi something in return. And even after a long day of work, you could at least do that for him. After another moment of hesitant annoyance, you adjusted the strap of your bag again and walked towards the break room. Even from a few meters away, you could hear the barely concealed slamming of cabinet doors as well as Kakashi’s irritated grumbling. 

Do I really want to annoy him in this state? 

Before you could rethink your decision, you looked around the corner. And winced at the sight: Kakashi obviously wasn’t in the best of moods. The man was standing beside the coffee machine, cursing under his breath all the while watching how the coffee slowly pooled into his cup. As you watched on, he unfolded his crossed arms to angrily comb through his hair — or, to be more precise, to pull some of it out with the force of his motions. 

Gently and already regretting the motion as you were reaching out, you rapped your knuckles against the doorframe.

“Hey…” When Kakashi turned slightly to look at you, you nearly shrank back behind the corner of the door. Why again did you have to say anything to him now? “Just wanted to ask if you want anything?”

With his eyebrows furrowed and forehead wrinkled up, Kakashi stared at you for a few seconds. Then, he closed his eyes and a big sigh dropped from his mouth, dropping his shoulders and attitude with it. “Ah, fuck. I thought I was alone.”

“Well, in a few minutes, you will be.” That wasn’t what you expected. At all. Slowly, you stepped into the bright, cold light of the kitchen spilling through the open door, while gripping the strap of your bag tightly. “I was just asking. Because of…” 

He nodded. “The sandwich from last time. Don’t worry about it. I’m not hungry.”

“Oh. Uhm, okay. Well…”

For a few more seconds, you waited. Kakashi only looked at you, unflinching and unyielding. The silence stretched into eternity, and instead of thinning and out and ending the talk naturally, the air seemed to thicken with every passing second. 

“If you don’t mind,” Kakashi suddenly spoke up, just when you tried to turn to leave, “would you take a look at some ideas I have? I’m… fucking stuck right now.”

Oh. 

“You’re stuck?”

“Yes.” Again, one of his hands flew up to comb furiously through his hair. “And I hate it.”

He didn’t elaborate, didn’t explain more than that, didn’t even attempt to. His dark eyes just focused again on the cup of coffee, staring and brooding and… being a bit more like the anti-social bastard he had been to you all this time. 

Just this once, then we’re even, and I can let this go, you told yourself. Just this once, and I don’t have to talk to him ever again. 

And it would be beneficial to take a look at his first plans for a campaign, anyway. High time for some in-team communication and all that. 

“Okay.” You shrugged weakly, while internally praying that it wouldn’t take that long. Turning around, you sighed internally, but just dropped your stuff by your desk as you passed by, eyes set on the dimly lit corner of the open office. A few lights around the office were on, but in Kakashi’s corner, only his computer screens were illuminating the looming darkness, painting shadows across the nearby walls of his little alcove. A cave for this man-troll. How fitting. 

Suddenly, the man brushed past you. His scent filled your nose, lingered uncomfortably, only to dissipate after a few deep breaths in.

“Hiding your porn?” you asked, tone only slightly mocking. “Must be really disgusting if you’re running.”

Kakashi was bent over his keyboard. His hand moved; moved the mouse quickly. One, two quick clicks, in which you closed the distance and managed to take a first peek at the screens. To your disappointment, there was nothing incriminating there, just lots and lots of pages of Akatsuki-clothing as well as the opened Photoshop program. 

There wasn’t much to see. A half-finished moodboard, you guessed, with lots of quite meaningless objects slapped onto one side. The other half of the layer was empty. Your eyes dropped to the desk, which was overflowing with mess, notes in Kakashi’s chicken scratches, and a few scattered pens and pencils, one of them a particularly fancy pen in a dark, glossy black with silvery lines running around the body. 

“That’s…” 

“It’s nothing. I know.”

“Uhm…” You shrugged weakly. “How am I supposed to help with that?”

“Some fresh eyes on my notes would be great, actually.” With a sigh, Kakashi handed you a few sheets of paper, filled with scribbles and notes which also could have been hieroglyphs as far as you were concerned. Some words actually could have been hieroglyphs. 

For a few moments, you tried to decipher the words, but nothing made sense to your tired eyes. Hell, you already spent the entire day leaning way too close to a computer screen, and now this? Fuck this. 

When you looked up, Kakashi was intently watching your every move. Almost eagerly, akin to a dog waiting for a reaction when dropping a ball in front of a pair of human legs. “And?”

“Honestly Kakashi… I can’t read this.”

“Ah, it cannot be that bad…”

“No, I literally can’t read this.” You waved the papers into his face. “To be frank, your handwriting is horrible. And here’s not much lighting, so my eyes are starting to hurt just by looking at this.” 

A hint of a smile flashed over his face. Though, that impression only lasted for a second, as he mumbled something incoherent and turned to click on the lamp. Light blinded you, and you had to blink rapidly to restore some of your vision. 

“Thank you.” You put down the stack of notes, trying to focus and make some sense of his handwriting. “I mean, there’s… nostalgia?” 

“Yeah.” Kakashi shrugged weakly. “The new direction Akatsuki is driving at the moment gives me nothing. I’m honestly grasping at straws here.”

“So much so that you’re reaching out to me. I see.”

Thankfully, Kakashi decided not to answer. Honestly, any answer he could have given would have annoyed you even more than you already were. The good mood you harbored over being able to leave earlier than yesterday already evaporated, wiped away by now knowing without a doubt in your mind that Kakashi was one of the sporadically creative people: incredibly valuable if they were inspired, but hindering the process when they didn’t have an inkling of inspiration.

“Okay, this…” You sighed lowly. “This is a big problem. The first meeting with the representatives of Akatsuki is in what, two weeks?”

“Roughly. A little bit less than two weeks.”

Another sigh left your mouth, and you started to massage your temple. You could feel a headache forming right behind your forehead. “Alright. Sure. Let’s just… what do you think of when you think of the new design line?”

“Pretentious.”

“Something positive.”

“Mhm. Maybe…?” The man cocked his head to the side, one hand thoughtfully touching his chin. “Nostalgia.”

“That’s already on here.” You pointed at the stack of papers. “Something else.”

“Capitalism.”

“Even though I agree, we can’t successfully market that idea and expect a profit. Now, something we can market…”

Kakashi thought for a moment. “Higher quality?”

“Great. Work from there, I guess.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Kakashi smiled at you, but you didn’t smile back. Just nodded at him before turning your back and finally getting ready to leave the office for good today. 

You thought you heard a faint “Hey” coming out of his direction, but you just walked a tiny bit faster. It would be easier to pretend to not have heard him. Just… overall easier. For your sanity and the future of your work together; the work obligations you still had to fulfill. Thankfully, you didn’t hear anything else and could leave the office with the tiniest of delays.

~ X ~

A well deserved rest for a valuable team member. I hope you enjoyed your free night. I would like to think that one day, I might be brave enough to invite you out on such a night, but for now, I just enjoy the thought that you had some time to yourself. 

Good luck today, as well.

~ X ~

“Can I steal you away for a moment?” 

Anko, Shizune and Kurenai fell completely silent as you turned to fake-smile at Kakashi. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t particularly like to be stolen away from my lunch.” You motioned to the lunchbox on the table in front of you. “Can we talk later?”

Your mood turned sour when he shook his head, albeit apologetically. “I have to run an errand for Minato in a bit, so no. Just five minutes?”

“Fine.” With a low sigh, you stood up from the seat which was grouped alongside the others around Shizune’s desk, and followed the man. Not without visually rolling your eyes towards the other women, then shrugging dramatically. 

To your mild surprise, Kakashi didn’t lead you towards his desk, but instead opted to exit the open office entirely. When he opened the door leading out into the hallway, he held the door open for you. His eyes found yours, only to quickly drop to the ground. 

“Where are we going?” you asked as Kakashi didn’t make any attempts to stop outside in the hallway. Instead, he walked up to the elevators, only to pass by the doors.

Where the fuck was he going?

“Hey,” you spoke up again, trailing after the man like an unwilling donkey dragged up a jagged mountain path as he climbed a set of stairs you had never paid close attention to, “seriously, where are we going?”

“There’s a calm corner upstairs.” Kakashi smiled down at you through the bars of the railing. “Sorry, it just takes a moment.”

“Alright…” Another roll of your eyes, and you started to climb the stairs. At this point, you were just humoring him. First that absolutely ridiculous talk a few days back, showing that he made nearly zero progress with the campaign since the start, and now this? Was he trying to push you off the roof or something? Or something else absolutely ridiculous and over the top, fitting for a Disney channel villain?

Maybe he sings me his little theme song before he steals my soul or something. 

Just a few more steps, and Kakashi pushed a heavy door open. You nearly expected him to let it hit you in the face, but he caught it easily and held the door open for you.

“Thanks.” Both of your eyebrows rose. Quickly, you slipped past him, catching a whiff of his scent and a breeze of fresh air from the outside. 

The door indeed led onto a small part of the roof which was overshadowed by the building beside you. The rooftop was obviously meant to be visited, though the various signs of non-usage — a bit of dirt here and there, vines overgrowing the walls beside the door, and a few pigeons instantly flying away as you set a few more steps onto the rooftop — indicated that not many people visited. 

“Okay. Should be calm enough.” Even though you tried to sound strong and self-assured, you couldn’t help wrapping your arms around yourself. Maybe to protect you from the stronger winds up here, maybe from Kakashi’s intense eyes which seemed to scrutinize you. “What do you want?”

“To thank you.”

“And you couldn’t do that in the office?”

A small chuckle erupted from the man. Casually, he leaned against the wall beside the door, now closed. With him almost guarding your way to escape, it almost seemed like he wanted to pose as Cerberus or something. 

Good boy. Now speak. 

“Hey, I have some reputation left to protect here.”

“As an antisocial asshole?” You snorted weakly out. “Yeah, a really nice image to maintain. Shouldn’t be changed at all costs. Who knows, people might actually genuinely like you. The horror.”

Again, Kakashi chuckled. He didn’t seem too concerned at the insult you threw at him, no. Lazily, he pushed himself away from the wall, strolled past you to lean against the railing close to the edge. Not a care in the world at the height or the strong winds. “Slowly I get the feeling that you don’t like me.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I’m surprised too.”

There was no way he was that self-conceited. Absolutely no way. You could only stare at his back, and only seconds after his crazy statement, you noticed that your mouth had fallen open. The sheer audacity of this overgrown manchild!

“Who do you think you are?”

Kakashi’s entire body tensed up. He turned his head, eyes finding yours, but you just shook your head and continued. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Some kind of always beloved god who can descend to us mortals and grace us with his fucking presence?”

“I never-!”

“Yeah, you never. You never apologized, properly, for once. You also never stopped and thought about why your actions were such a problem for me. Fuck, you never really took time to reflect on your actions, like any responsible adult would!” 

The words just came bubbling to the surface, like you had prepared them for this very moment. Sure, you wanted to act like an adult, but Kakashi had made it hard. So fucking hard, when all you had really gotten was a fine explanation and empty words over a great piece of lasagna. Being civil had been your goal, but this? Him throwing almost in your face how little he truly learned?

Anger bubbled up in your stomach, sourness rising in your throat and your blood rushing in your ears like a storm. Before you knew it, you marched up to him and jammed your index finger into his chest, spitting more of your righteous, built-up fury at his feet. “Did you expect that everything will be alright now? That everything is forgiven and forgotten? Well, excuse me, this is fucking reality, and it doesn’t work like that. It never worked like that.” 

Every punctuation you underlined with another push of your finger into his chest. Up close, you could smell Kakashi again, his stench filling your nose like nothing else. Again, you breathed deeply in, and pushed onward. “I tried to be civil. I tried to be nice to you. And you’re trying, I can see that much. My personal problem is, Hatake, that no matter how many sandwiches you buy when I’m doing overtime, or no matter how many times you try to seek me out with friendly banter, it will never be enough to make up for the fact that you humiliated me in front of the entire office.”

Fuck, it felt so good to watch the man deflate. Watching him being dressed down already had been a treat, but doing it yourself with sharp words and an even sharper tone was a fucking feast, five courses and counting. 

“You didn’t even apologize”, you breathed out. To your horror, you heard the tremble in your voice, which had been steely and sharp all this time. But not anymore. You swallowed, fought against the burning in your eyes, all the while staring Kakashi down. “The least thing you could do, and you couldn’t even do that. And I, as the idiot I am, even buttered you up! Complimented you because I thought, that…”

“(Y/N)...”

“Don’t fucking talk to me right now.” You stepped backwards, you had to. Anything to hide that you were so close to breaking into angry tears. “Just… leave me the fuck alone from now on. I’m talking with Minato first thing in the morning to remove me from the project, so I don’t have to put up with you anymore.”

Thankfully, Kakashi didn’t call out to you again, and before you left the rooftop through the same door, you didn’t look back. Didn’t want to look back, couldn’t stand to see his stupid, dumb, still attractive face for one more second and pretend like everything was alright. 

[blueskittlesart]

i've been occasionally watching critiques of totk just to hear differing opinions and a lot of them feel really nitpicky but the one that stuck out to me the most was the guy who wholeheartedly believed that the stories in these games could be improved by. removing link as the main protagonist. it should be pretty obvious that this take sucks ass but i wanted to see if you'd share your thoughts since you're good at putting your thoughts into words with this kind of stuff ^_^

ok this one is. strange to me. I'm not sure i'm equipped to critique it without getting the full argument from its source, because i assume that if the argument is that link SHOULDN'T be the protagonist, then they're arguing someone else SHOULD be instead, and not knowing who that is makes this a little harder to dissect. for the sake of this post i'm going to assume we're arguing for protag zelda, because she's the character who is the vessel for most of the story in botw/totk so i think she's the only character that makes sense. I'm also curious if they're advocating for removing link as a character from the story entirely or if they're just advocating for a change in framing from one character to another.

in any case, If i'm right about the above assumptions this seems to be another case of someone missing the central themes of the games. Because I concede that, at a glance, link kind of doesn't have that much presence in the story of either game. both games very heavily focus on zelda, with botw's primary story being about her struggle pre-calamity with her agency and her powers, and totk's primary story being about her journey in the past with sonia and rauru. arguably, the protagonist of these games in the traditional sense, i.e. the character who primarily experiences the highs and lows of the story and goes through an arc of growth, is ZELDA. link is, for all intents and purposes, the framing device through which we as players are witnessing ZELDA's story.

(full disclosure this turns into an essay on the way link is used as a character and a plot device bc i have no self control lol)

so why is link necessary, then? what is the point of the player experiencing the plot through a framing character like him instead of through zelda herself, the active protagonist? I think there are several layers to what makes link's presence in these games both necessary and irreplaceable.

the first and one of the most important reasons to have link in the active role is interactivity. I'm incredibly interested in video games as a modern art form and storytelling method, and imo the thing that sets video games apart from other methods of storytelling is their interactivity. In order to tell a story, an rpg drops the player into the middle of it. the player is an active participant in the story as it unfolds, and the player gets to experience and potentially alter the events in real time. from a consumer standpoint this may seem obvious and uncomplicated to execute--just take a prewritten story and put the player in control of one of the characters, right? but from a writing standpoint, it becomes really complicated really fast.

most stories are written linearly in a sort of cause-and-effect model, meaning events and actions will build on each other throughout the progression of the story. e.g: a monster attacks a village > because of the monster attack the villagers lose their homes > because they are now homeless, one of the villagers decides to slay the monster to take their village back > the villager slays the monster and the village is saved. each event builds upon the one before it, and if any of the events in the sequence were altered, the events after it would also be altered as well. if the villager decided to leave the village instead of fighting the monster, the event after that one would be altered and the village wouldn't be saved. What this means for interactive storytelling is that, if you want to have a single set course of events and ending (the standard model for zelda games) you can't allow the player to alter any events in that sequence. whatever character you give the player control of has to be able to experience the story WITHOUT substantially altering it. this becomes a dilemma because you as a writer need to toe the line between giving the player too much choice and altering the story/creating plot holes and giving the player too little choice and limiting the interactivity of your story. this is where the silent protagonist comes in handy.

the silent protagonist is a term for a player character which takes no action outside of what the player specifically orders them to. Link is one of the more famous silent protagonists, but other well-known ones include frisk from undertale and joker from persona 5 (worth noting that SPs don't have to be PHYSICALLY silent to be SPs, they just can't take any story-altering action without player input. joker actually has voice lines & is still considered an SP!) the silent protagonist is a popular model for RPG player characters because it basically solves the interactivity dilemma. A character with no personality is incredibly easy for players to project themselves onto, making them FEEL very in-control and immersed in the story even if they're not REALLY making any story-altering decisions. As long as your protagonist never breaks from player control and makes decisions on their own, the player feels like they ARE that character and will be much more susceptible to being thrown around by the story. A character with no personality or backstory is also conveniently lacking in outside motivations, meaning they're unlikely to need to substantially alter the story in any way that they aren't directly prompted to. for example, if we go back to that monster & villager story, if we turn our heroic villager into a silent protagonist, it puts a layer of distance between the hero and the villagers. the hero CAN choose to save the village, but they likely WON'T if the game doesn't prompt them to. this opens up several possibilities to us as writers--we can prompt the player to save the village, if that's the way we want the story to end, but we could ALSO prompt the player to side with the monster, or to ignore the village altogether, depending on what the story requires. when the hero has a backstory connecting them to the village, it's difficult to rationalize any response other than them attacking the monster, but removing that backstory gives us as writers more control AND keeps the player more engaged with the story at the same time.

so why does this matter for link? as previously mentioned, link is arguably the most famous silent protagonist of all time. this is something that's VERY important to the developers of these games--throughout the entire franchise, you will NEVER hear link say a word, and you'll also never see him take any action without the express confirmation of the player. link isn't a character through which the player is experiencing the story, link IS the player. thus, link is silent and takes no action outside of the player's control. relative to the story of botw/totk, link feels like he lacks presence in the story because HIS story takes somewhat of a backseat to zelda's. link's story in botw/totk is a relatively straightforward one--he wakes up, regains his memories, and saves the princess. that's his arc, and that's the arc that we as players are physically experiencing through him, but it's NOT the primary story arc of the games. the primary arc is ZELDA'S. at a glance, then, it almost would make more sense to make zelda the playable protagonist of the games. why are we required to witness her story as an outside observer in a medium which allows players to experience a story firsthand? why not drop us into HER body instead of link's?

because zelda isn't a silent protagonist.

Nearly all of zelda's story in both botw and totk is driven by her backstory and her internal struggle. she makes the decisions that she makes in botw because of her history having her agency denied by her father and being scorned by the goddess, and because of her passion for ancient technology and science. the plot of totk is similarly driven by choices she makes based on her emotions--most notably, her choice to become a dragon requires her to have complete faith in link and the courage to take a step that means losing herself. Because of the way these choices rely on zelda's internal emotional state and the context and backstory of her character, a player dropped into her body can't be expected to make them. We actually saw it a lot with criticisms of the way she acted in botw--people claiming that if THEY were in her shoes they wouldn't have been so emotional, they would have been nicer to link, etc. And it's true that a player who hasn't experienced the things that zelda as a character has gone through may have been able to have more rational or logical reactions to the situation she was in, but it's crucial to the plot that zelda COULDN'T set aside her emotions or the way that her past colored her perception of events. zelda is essentially the anti-silent-protagonist. she is the VOCAL protagonist, whose backstory and voice and autonomous choices are so crucial to the plot that removing them becomes nearly impossible. in order to tell her story in an interactive medium, she requires another character who CAN be controlled and whose decisions can be altered somewhat without derailing the plot entirely, hence why link becomes the vessel through which we see her story.

no less important a point is the fact that link is thematically important to these games as well. As previously mentioned, zelda's story serves as the primary narrative to both games. Link's story is still present, however, and it serves to reinforce and expand upon the themes present in zelda's.

in botw, zelda's story centers around her lack of agency. she is expected to inherit her familial power from the goddess hylia, a power which is required to stop the calamity. she spends her entire life training for this purpose despite the fact that she resents the pressure and wants no part in the war against the calamity, and when her powers don't manifest she is treated like a failure for it. she ends up believing she is worth nothing if she can't contribute by awakening her power and develops a harsh internal conflict between her desire to be accepted and needed and her desire to break free from the oppressive role she's been forced into. Initially, both she and the player believe link to be the polar opposite to her--the golden child to her black sheep. he's her age, but he's already mastered HIS power and is more than ready to take on any challenge, including the calamity. he's constantly receiving praise, he's well-known and well-liked, he's everything zelda isn't. however, as the story progresses, it's revealed to both the player and zelda that link is actually essentially in the exact same situation as zelda. He finds the role he is playing just as oppressive as zelda finds hers, despite being able to play it so well, to the point where he goes mute due to the pressure to perform. he functions in this story as a foil to zelda, the character who she plays off of. In learning about him we learn about zelda, and vice versa, and both characters undergo growth when they work off each other. much of botw's theming centers around growth, healing, and change, and link serves as a vessel to propel zelda's change by giving both her and the player a different view of their situation. He is confirmation that even if she DID perform correctly, zelda STILL wouldn't find the happiness and validation she's seeking, which in turn forces her to stop seeking validation from her father and hylia.

this same utlization of link is present in totk, though in a slightly different way. in some ways, totk link is more of his own character than a foil to zelda a la botw. Totk has two main central themes: the first being that hope is not lost due to one mistake, and the second being teamwork and community as an essential tool for survival and happiness. rather than playing off each other in totk, since link and zelda spend so much of the story so far removed from each other, they both play off these themes in their own ways, with both of their narratives coming together to reinforce the theming. zelda finds friends and community in the sages in the past, and her trust in her friends and community in the future is what allows her to send the master sword through time via draconification. In the future, link repairs communities that have been fractured by ganondorf and forges bonds with his own sages that will become his greatest assets in the final battle. Zelda works tirelessly to prevent the first rise of ganondorf, and even when she fails, link is there in the future to fix it. zelda loses her humanity in order to bring the master sword to link, but link manages to bring her back in the end. link loses his arm when he fails to save zelda under the castle, but when he DOES save her in the end, he gets his arm back, too. each of their stories play off each other and reinforce each other thematically.

I'm ngl this did get away from me the second i started talking about silent protagonists as a narrative device (i am crazy <3) but anyway. I do sincerely think that link is an irreplaceable part of these stories and I also don't think it's feasible to tell the story from any other angle. I think using him as both a framing character and as a narrative foil to the active protagonist was a really smart way to tell zelda's story while still keeping the player active within it. tldr link is the specialest amazingest most important boy in the world if you don't cheer and clap for him i'll fucking blow this whole building up

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Transmission Transition

Yeah buddy, I'd want some time alone too after that full-blown verbal holy war Kendrick Lamar dragged your ass with. Kinda shit that makes you need to stop and reflect on your life choices. Drake is back and he is straight-up pulling a Crane Wife hot on the heels of Stussy putting words to some interesting concepts we've seen.

It's been a while, so for a refresher I care a lot about X Drake coming back around because we dangled his report on Wano as a Chekov's Gun way back at the start of Egghead. If he's the one to open up a reinterpretation of Wano...Drake's scenes overlap with Kiku/Izo's a fair amount. So once again, hot on the heels of Stussy speaking that potential baggage aloud here's Drake playing very nice as a followup. Drake, Stussy, Marco. That was the trio I was looking for in this pseudo-anthology's third side story. Speaking of...

It's been a while. Always had nascent ideas about the idea Zoro busts out an attack called Rashomon with Kuma way back when. Of course I've made plenty of mentions of the film reference. Even if you haven't seen it you've seen the story structure. Three POVs on the same event, the real magic is in stitching the truth together out of three unreliable narrators. Marco's perfect to spell it all out as the sorta "framing device" between Wano & Egghead.

It's hard to tell week-to-week what we'll do with this one, but I think we can see what our trio is for Egghead:

First we step away to see a collection of side stories, end on filing in the truth of Sabo/Vivi in Reverie. This though obscured what happened in the lab.

Next we give Bonney a whirl through her backstory with Kuma, where he'll both be a bit of an unreliable narrator and also rewrite some events we've seen prior through giving his POV. When we return we reiterate last night was a gap and add the mystery pile of food for Luffy.

Vegapunk's Broadcast, duh. It was more of a distraction while we saw some relation to the main plot but it still fits the bill. We've done Stussy, we're getting Drake, if you do loop Marco in than it's a way to complete the ASL theme with an Ace connection too. And don't sleep on the York focus here either.

Of course, we'll need to see the next few chapters to really evaluate that. Each one have had their content that raises questions, unreliable narrators and oddball tropes like that. But let's get back to this chapter, there was a cool running line in there I liked:

I could riff on Koby, Grus, & Kujaku getting a bit meta here but I'll save that until I know the next few steps. Kujaku gets to shine a lil more in this SWORD segment as the one checking on Drake but her line here gets a lot more interesting when Bluegrass & Doll have a similar mindset attacking the giants. Bluegrass especially encouraging the young ones to step up and become a star. Makes me think a lot about our OP for the anime adaptation The end of the dream, the end of the sea...but first we have to make a shining legend of ourselves.

It's just funny to me one could interpret the lyrics to "Us" as a threat this arc maybe will break the direction I've long hoped it would is all I'm saying. Let's bring this all home with the main highlight of the chapter though.

It's not just the stinger, the Gorosei seemed a little shocked their first hits on Robonosuke stopped everything. York is relieved but recall last time we talked about her theory that's where the antenna snail was hiding was just that, a theory.

Type of thing that could go either way and either option could have a lot of ways of unfolding. That said...this is a perfect ending if some unknown force is about to take advantage of these gaps to justify being in prime position to hijack the broadcast. Kinda feels like it'd be a cop out to have Robonosuke hanging around this whole time just to get smacked around a little. Still very, very excited for this next stint.

[soul-dwelling]

Thoughts on the clowns going from an interesting representation of one's dark side and the temptation to induldge self destructive madness, into just generic faceless mooks with no personality or point besides bloating the already overstuff moon arc?

It’s wrong for me to generalize, but it seems like most final arcs in serialized stories suffer when they introduce new characters or details that inevitably will not get enough time to develop. This should work: it’s the last arc, break all the rules, so long as the result ends up being a spectacle or too cool not to do or so shocking but concise in reiterating the message that has been reinforced over and over in this story…and the clowns just don’t do any of that--the spectacle isn’t engaging enough, I thoroughly enjoy clowns in pop culture but even these clowns in Soul Eater aren’t that engaging visually or personality-wise, and nothing about the clowns does much to reinforce any message, or at least reinforcing the message of “fear is always with you” in any fashion that another part of the manga didn’t reinforce better. 

And I don’t mean that Soul Eater should be criticized only because the clowns don’t get to develop to their full potential: I can’t think of any series where even main characters reach their full potential in their entire story because that’s not how storytelling works, that’s perfectionism and hence a fool’s errand. No, I mean that the characters and details are just there without any sense of progression, elaboration, or sometimes any use to the story aside from cannon fodder. 

And that is what the clowns feel like: cannon fodder, antagonists that can be done away with easily not only because their personalities are so limited that we feel almost no sadness or any other emotion when they are gone and not only because their power sets are so dull that they can easily overpowered by the protagonists and we won’t miss losing that power set because they weren’t cool enough at all but also because they are dehumanized so killing them off is not regrettable. Oh, Stein wasted a ton of clowns? Who cares--they weren’t human, and they were barely humanized at all, including, again, in terms of having almost zero personality. 

And yet, all of this could be salvaged if the clowns had something to them that was reflective of the larger themes of the story. As you point out, the clowns in parts of Soul Eater were indicative of a character’s dark side. We got to see how jealous Maka can be, how fearful she is of losing her father and her friends and teammates, and how powerless she feels without Soul. All of that is much needed character progression. Yes, I can be frustrated that it still feels a bit forced similar to throwing these details in during the Book of Eibon arc, but it makes sense that Maka would be this emotionally raw after Crona was kidnapped. It is also visually striking: look up just about any Maka clown art by Z-Raid and other illustrators. 

But even then, aside from Maka, what did the clowns actually show us about any character’s dark side? 

We get that with Justin--but even then, the clowns themselves don’t have much in the way of personality to get a sense of how they corrupt Justin. Granted, just about all of Justin’s story only works because of how little is given to us to show how he got corrupted. We know the “why,” we get belated clarification when Justin fights Tezca. But the clowns never have much in the way of personality to give us a sense how this unfolded. It’s good storytelling potential, likely something someone else did in their own fan works. But I wish Ohkubo had committed to some choice. We already have Ragnarok right there at times acting like a bad conscience on Crona’s shoulder--is that how a clown should act towards Justin? Should it be like the Symbiote telling Eddie what he wants to hear, more like what we got in Weisman and Cook’s Spectacular Spidey animated series? 

Edit: I forgot to mention--elliotthezubat once again handles this stuff better: Justin's dilemma works better if you have it more like a clone of himself talking to him, a conversation between two Justins to emphasize different dimensions to his personality and the potential split happening, or the potential for one side overwhelming the other.

When the clowns did pop up to fight for Medusa against Black Star and Tsubaki, and against Team B with the Thompsons, was there really anything gained? Any character progression for Black Star was actually more from fighting Crona, not from fighting a clown, to demonstrate where Black Star and Crona could have gone had each one had different intervention by a parental figure, Black Star at least having Sid and the DWMA, Crona being stuck with an abuser like Medusa. But did the clown unlock any such insight into Kilik, Ox, Kim, and their partners, or Liz and Patty? The clown was just a scientific experiment without any personality of their own. (See also how Ragnarok gets reduced to almost a non-entity as the series persists, and his commentary on what Crona is going through is sorely missed, whether to add insight or just some Falstaff-ian comedic relief with how dire things are getting.) 

The final arc had two major opportunities to justify the importance of the clowns: the characters as their own entities, and the characters as reflective of the path Stein could take. And then the arc fails to live up to either potential. 

Let’s start with the latter first: like the clowns, Stein is falling more and more into madness--and then on the Moon he just doesn’t, instead weaponizing the madness to lay waste to Asura’s forces, re-establishing that even under madness he is still the same person and his commitment to Death and the DWMA does not falter. I’m not asking that the story continue to milk the angst of Stein after Buttataki’s murder, or take the path of the first anime and show Stein falling under Medusa’s sway. But with this being the last arc, this is the last chance to re-establish Stein is a good person. We need that Iron Giant moment hitting us over the head: we didn’t need the Giant to say, “I am not a gun,” but it summarized the point in an obvious fashion. Where is that moment for Stein? Is there a quotation or a panel from the final arc that I’m neglecting that adequately summarizes how Stein’s fight against the clowns is a rejection of the path Stein could have taken and in his last battle in this series recommits to his characterization, how he has progressed throughout almost 100 chapters, where he goes next, and some larger message the manga is trying to say or at least tie into the ongoing themes about courage, fear, and collaborative work? I don’t get that from Stein’s fight against the clowns, but maybe someone else and can share that quotation or panel. 

As for the clowns as their own entities: what do they serve, in terms of their own character progression, or as larger allegorical or symbolic value, or as antitheses or foils to our protagonists? They just seem to be a grab-bag of mythological and literary references: rabbit on the moon, the story of Kaguya. What is Kaguya supposed to tell us in Soul Eater as a foil to Kid? Or, how is she a continuation of ideas Ohkubo is toying with when writing Blair and then later Tamaki in Fire Force? None of these questions really interest me because the potential answers are dull: there is barely anything between Kaguya and Kid to indicate a battle of differing philosophical viewpoints, Kaguya’s shtick is somehow more dull than Blair’s and lacks the other dimensions Blair has (whether in the manga or because fan writers are better at handling her), and the path from Kaguya to Tamaki is just a reminder how gross Ohkubo is when it comes to his attacks against feminism and readers who just get tired of his endless horny misogynistic bullshit. If you just want naked Kaguya, then just go naked Kaguya--that’s more honest and a clearer understanding why this character is here than dressing it up (so to speak) with pseudo-intellectual posturing to try to make her presence and maybe even this arc and this entire manga into something it’s not. 

Or, they’re just leftovers from B Ichi, seeing as they are called “Dokeshi” in the original Japanese version of the Soul Eater manga. Super--this is somehow the less annoying version of Ohkubo’s same trick, that being waiting until the final arc to gesture back to the author’s previous work. I should appreciate that the final arc of Soul Eater referencing B Ichi is a harmless Easter egg, compared to the final arc of Fire Force ruining the continuity and thematic cohesion of Soul Eater. 

And that’s not even getting into how the clowns just re-populating because of Asura’s almost infinite power of madness. 

At least “madness and fear are always with humans” is a clear, understandable message. But clowns? I get that clowns are scary to a lot of people, and their exaggerated details and potentially inhuman grotesque shape is decent shorthand. But this also feels like a failure of using the images to address the message: not everyone is going to find clowns scary, even taking something from childhood enjoyment and making it fearsome isn’t much of a deep message: “I made the things from your childhood edgy” strikes me as lazy. It’s as bad as Ohkubo assuming breasts can only be maternal and must be only a yearning for maternal love as in the final chapter of Soul Eater, or Ohkubo’s regressive cisheteronormative approach to sex as existing only for baby-making and that the idealization of sex appeal is embodied only by an underage teenage girl (again: Ohkubo is fucking gross, fuck this guy) in Fire Force. 

This is Ohkubo latching onto a small set of visual details or story tropes he likes and not letting them go. And it again disrupts what we already had: we go from Shotaro in B Ichi being a good guy who is clownish and literally turns into a clown as a final power-up form, to clowns just being absolutely evil in Soul Eater. Again, what is it with Ohkubo taking something from a previous manga, introducing it into another manga--and then taking a completely different approach in that new manga that contradicts what he did before? I can appreciate an author changing their mind over time, but it also comes across as a failure to let the previous work stand on its own and a refusal to let the message of that earlier story persist without needless contradiction by a later work. It comes across less as the author maturing and changing their mind with time and more like a creator who just wants to keep contradicting themselves for the sake of spurring on an argument (and more attention for the sake of more book sales).

[purplink8]

I've been working out a death note ace attorney au but I can't work out what to do with Misa. I'd like to have her related to light in some way (who is a very corrupt prosecutor) anyway I was thinking making her one of the Evil spirit mediums but even then I'm not sure if that's right for her (I can't really see her motivated by trying to become the master/making her branch the main family or something like that) or if it could link to Light in a way that makes sense. anyway do you have any ideas?

That AU sounds really cool omg!! Please do send me the link if you decide to post it <33

Back to your question~ yeah I agree that making Misa into one of the evil spirit mediums might not be right for her as in canon all of her motivations stem from her utter devotion to Light as Kira.

I think in this AU, instead of Kira!Light being her savior, Prosecutor!Light truly becomes her Knight in Shining Armor. Light may be a corrupt prosecutor for AU purposes, but his (albeit skewed) sense of justice is still very strong.

I like to imagine that unlike other prosecutors who refuse to touch Misa's parents' murder case, Light, when he's old enough to become a prosecutor, will swoop in to make sure that justice is served. He might've also chosen Misa's case because he wants to prove to his 'idiotic' colleagues just how efficient his persuading skills are and how easily he can outshine more experienced prosecutors than him by a large margin.

Misa, of course, falls in love with the handsome prosecutor who made sure that the culprit behind her parents' murder got his guilty verdict. She doesn't think nor care that Light was only doing so in order to prove himself- not because he cares about her as a person.

Anyways I can imagine Misa stalking following Light around and the latter telling her that he'd get a restraining order against her if she didn't leave him alone. But we know that Misa is a tough cookie. So she decides to become useful to Light by helping him reach his goals of guilty verdicts.

How would she do that? I wonder if you've played Spirit of Justice? If not then I warn you that my answer will contain spoilers to that game.

I'm talking about Divination Séance. It involves calling upon the spirit of a murder victim to witness their final moments through their eyes. This is, in the games at least, supposed to be really supporting to the prosecution's side of argument.

Fun fact: The process also requires knowledge of both the victim's face and full name in order for the medium to conduct.

Sound familiar ;D

Ok fangirling aside, you may face the challenge of how to make Misa possess this power as Similar to spirit channeling, the Séance is an ability only the royal family of Khura'in can perform, although it apparently requires less spiritual ability than channeling.

To this, I say, that the Fey family who isn't from the royal family of Khura'in knew how to perform the Spirit Channeling. Besides, the divination séance requires less spiritual ability than channeling. Thus, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that Misa can also learn it via training under the waterfall or something.

If that seems far-fetched, maybe you can make Misa's family origin be in the Kingdom of Khura'in if you want?

Misa'd be more helpful than a detective to Light as performing divination séance is like telling the story of how the victim died from their POV itself. Like seeing the fatal situation unfold through the victim's eyes imo leaves a better impact than say, cold hard facts spoken by the detective in-charge where the evidence can be forged etc etc.

That's not to say that the divination séance is without faults. It isn't and that's the point of Spirit of Justice where the defense attorney has the potential to shine through by poking holes in the Insights derived from the séance.

Hence, Misa will achieve her dream in assisting Light so that the latter may reach his goals. Light'd have to begrudgingly admit to himself that yes, Misa IS useful and he'd be a fool to not use her. What can I say? Toxic Yagamane all the way <3 </3