#that it rots everything away
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finished rereading naruto and i will never read naruto again in my life, it was bad, naruto part 2 (shippuden) is bad, a lot. The fights are cool, but the story just hold itself until the war arc that is just really, really bad. The arc that i liked the most of the part 2 is sasuke revenge arc, it is some of the biggest points of the story and just went downhill. Yeah, even the pain arc i didn't enjoy as i was expecting, nagato as a character is really cool, his past is tragic and is a highlights of the series, but his philosophy is so stupid, it feels something a teenager would think of it and was taken seriously. BUT, for god sake, naruto after this arc is not something i like at all. Still have some good moments and stuff, but fuck, i actually had to stop and read something else for a time because i was nearly dropping the series entirelly.
Now, the elephant in the room for this franchise, the female characters in naruto... they became worse than naruto classic somehow. Most of them spin around men in some level, it is a bit annoying.
Now, something a lot of people don't know about me, i really like Hinata, always liked her since i was a kid (i really wanted to look like her when i was younger), i could even say that she was for a time my favorite character from naruto, but i... sadly noticed that she have nothing to like except her design. After chunnin exam, she have no personality that is not liking naruto. Yeah, the woman naruto was supposed to have a big romance to the point she becames his wife, well, she have nothing, no personality beyond liking naruto, the girl HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING!!
When i noticed that i wanted to cry, because her personality is only that in part 2 (shippuden), she loves naruto and she risked her life twice to save him, literally nothing else, she barely talks with naruto, she have 0 development, she barely exists on the story and the best moment of a character she has is still her chunnin exam, when we see her fighting a fight she know she can't win, but she is determinated to prove herself that her father, neji, everyone around her was wrong about her. And that's it, just that, everything else is her spinning around naruto and she is the woman naruto ended up marrying in the end, she should have more beyond what we have, but she don't, she has nothing at all.
And no, naruto shippuden the last is not a good movie that works to explain how this romance even happen, for god sake, this movie start with a flashback that have no sense at all to even exist.
Now, the another thing that bottered me in naruto, the war conversation that exist on this work. Naruto is gadly, a really anti war story, the main reason of why the villains do what they do is because of war. I really like anti war themes on stories, the problem with naruto, is that after some point, removes the main reason of why war happens of his speach and changes to "hate", basically armies moves by the thousands and kill each other because they hate each other and that just it.
Why this botter me so much? because war is something really, really political, for a long time war starts because powerful people want something, so they send troops to kill people and have those things they want, why the armies go? many reasons (for their country, because the enemy is inferior, for the greater good, etc.), it doesn't really matter because those in power said they have and they go kill people. And naruto never focused with it's speech against those in power of the countries (that are shown as old, innocent and nice people).
And this makes even funnier, because some of the first conversations about the time before konoha, it is said that the countries caused the wars and they were used to hire shinobi clans to be their soldiers and that is why uchiha and senju are rivals, they were the strongest, if a country hired the uchiha, their enemies would hire the senju and both clans would just keep killing each other because some powerful people started a war, and by the end of the series, the feeling the story gives you is that the shinobi just caused war against each other and are fated to just keep killing each other.
It feels like it tries to remove politics from war, because to stop wars as they really are, a messiah really good in making friends would not be enough to bring real change, the system is poisoned and only a revolution with the intention to change the very countries would be enough, but naruto also needed to be hokage by the end of the series, so the system could not suffer a big change because of it.
i could keep writting a even longer text, talking about how bad the war arc is, but i am tired of naruto (and probably my opinion is nothing new). I am still a bit nostalgic with the series, but i don't think that it is a good series anymore, i understand why was so popular, but i don't think anymore that is good.
Also, i really love naruto character designs, is so beautiful, really amazing.
#Naruto#rereding opinion#finished the whole series#didn't like it#some stuff is really good#but the bad parts are just really bad#so bad#that it rots everything away#but the character designs are beautiful#the ninja war arc#is so bad#asuma being ressurected was one of the most pointless things i ever saw#2 days war#literally the war last only 48h#by the first night#half of both armies were reduced by half#it was one of the worst last arcs i read in a battle shounen#and battle shounen are famous with their shitty last arcs
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screaming sobbing at the very idea that felassan was right and the realization solas must have felt as he’s falling in love with the very mortals he didn’t view as people.
solas thought he could run away from this, taking the most drastic of measures by killing one of his most trusted friends so there would be no doubts.
but then, the universe finds a way. the red string attaches itself to him and pulls.
you want to disregard humanity, solas? try doing so when it fights back in the form of someone who accepts you as you are. can you truly end everything when she unravels the knots that hide away your spirit?
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#solas#felassan#inquisitor lavellan#solavellan#im back with more brain rot babey#i just find the idea that fate always seems to find a way despite all the forces against it to be fascinating#solas denied agin and again because his pride made him believe he could fix everything#i mean it worked before once#but sometimes things don’t work out the same way again#in fact it really can’t because things will never align the same away unless it was meant to#sorry solas you can’t change fate
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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Random stuff
#incredibox#sepbox#monart#spiders#Okay time to dump my thoughts in the tags#The first doodle was drawn cuz it had rained recently#I thought Edgar would enjoy the rain (assuming it doesn't rain in the depths)#The Watcher doodle was me thinking about how the Watcher watches over everyone#He sends out his little spider minions to spy on ppl!#He sees everything through their eyes#The Edgar comic is what I imagine he did when he left the depths#While the docs say that they only found his jewerly and crown at the Gateway#I like to think that Edgar saw this new place and immediately stripped naked. Cuz it's funnier that way#He decided to leave his past life as the prince at the gate with his royal clothes and jewerly#or something like that#The last doodle is how I imagine Tam's illness spread across his face#The documents don't mention how exactly he got the illness#I thought maybe it started from an innocuous scratch#He lost his eye cuz it straigh up rotted away#Annnnd that's about it#I'm always thinking about this mod as you can tell. So sad I can't draw every idea I have orz#Anyway I'll contunie having thoughts and patiently waiting for v8
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gardening thoughts
#lil sketchbook thing that i love too much to have it rot away in there. might do a full versin at some point#look in a way everything i make is a self portrait#mine#my art#sketchbook#sketches#traditional art#artists on tumblr#words#visual poetry#illustration#also a reminder to buy myself some proper markers damn#gardening#earthworms
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Still waiting for an explanation to reaver having sparrows dogs collar that isn't him being horrifically in love with them
#fable#fable 2#fable 3#reaver#sparrow#hero of bower lake#spreaver#why does he have this!!#its been 50 years; why is he holding on to the dogs collar!! it wasn't even his dog!!#like yeah is it in his “reasons why Theresa is absolutely evil” museum? yes. i don't think that takes away from it though#How did he get this#was it just like sparrow died and the kids were getting everything else so he took something that was sentimental to sparrow#but would have likely been thrown away or left to rot in storage so he could have a piece of them#what is the reason???
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kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-
and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread
if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I
ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#sorta#like ok im not saying you cant like the game ffs#but acting like everything is perfect and anyone who dares speak something critical is a heathen and must be PUNISHED or PROVEN WRONG-#-is so godammn annoying#just went on their profile to block and of course it was all screenshots of totks ending with uwu zelda and shirtless cool guy link#also find it interesting that zelda has always been a history nerd now#didnt know interest in shiekah tech and ... frogs? counted as historian#and dont get me wrong it would fit her being interested in that too but the way it was done in totk felt so artificial#like doesnt she say she read in a book that the king who founded this hyrule was called rauru and all that?#like ........ how did that even happen#a book that mentions him BY NAME surviving for WAY OVER TEN THOUSAND YEARS just convenietnly materializing or what#how the hell did that survive when next to nothing did of the ancient shiekah#(granted you can make the argument that the -other- ancient king of hyrule that persecuted them destroyed most of their stuff-#-which would make sense and im rolling with that too but you get my point??)#but raurus shit was even older than shiekah stuff like ......... ok???? how convenient she now suddendly is interested in nothing but#-that and also read a book about it!!! somehow!!#also how does something like that exist but then the sonau where pretty much non existent and irrelevant at all in botw#and even what we had was ACTUALLY done ..by hylians as a tribute to rauru you seeeeeeee#and the botw sonau style was the hylians work .. even though the totk sonau style aligns more with hylian than botw sonau..#if the hylians were so grateful to rauru they built giant stone monuments as a tribute for him that didnt even fit their style-#-why was that the only stuff that survived on the surface ... wouldnt it make more sense that they would maintain the og sonau stuff instea#sure the temple ... castle .. whatever went up into the sky and whatver SOEMEHOW but not everythign did and it was everwhere#but then the stuff left on the surface crumbled away while everything left to rot in the underground and sky is just .. fine#what#also ... where did their castle go anyway#like ... we only see the -new cooler sonau- temple of time on the plateau but its interior doesnt match at all with the throne room#so where was all that#funny it wasnt in the same place as hyrule castle
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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i would like to know more about hn talon's feathery ailment ... is it their demonic nature clashing with the angelic blood that is resulting in their worsening condition ? is there a reason why it is specifically feathers / bird-likeness as opposed to anything else ( i.e. would other demons undergo similar transformations if they also got contaminated with angel blood ) ? can you share more about how you envision the progression and prognosis ? will it kill them or will there be some sort of final stage of their transformation ( whether that's a bad thing because it only gets worse and worse , or a good thing because maybe now that it is complete , they won't be in as much pain and discomfort 🥺 ) ? is it at all affected by whatever they're doing / thinking / feeling / experiencing ( tamagotchi talon ... ) ? what do they do to manage their condition ? does it make them self-conscious or feel badly about their physical appearance ?
"-But it looks like the angels ain't done with you."
I don't recommend that anyone ingests angel blood (good thing that's a difficult thing to do these days) but I wouldn't want to definitively say how it works for anyone else either. and I think it makes sense if talon isn't too sure either, with not meeting anyone else in a similar predicament as they (yet... will get to this later) but say if it were another angel Talon had attacked and drank the blood of, I believe they would still be having similar symptoms, as angels are quite feathery beings (varus with his arm of feathers, irelia with her wings and other choicely placed feathers.) But the particular angel they stole from has had a specific impact on just how the blood has changed them.
The reason for their worsening condition is because the blood has a powerful influence, like an undiluted acid. And it is so dramatic of an change because this influence is the polar opposite to their demonic existence. The more that Talon fights against the changes, the less symbiotic the blood and their demonic nature melds, the more violent and painful the experience is for them. And without any interference either with understanding or other experiences, I see it as a bitter, drawn-out struggle. Just wallowing in fatalism until Talon is nothing more than an unrecognisable pile of bile, blood, and feathers that tore itself apart...
Fortunately for them, the more Talon interacts with their rotting world and the people (and creatures) also struggling in it, the more they will come to terms with their own potential, and reflect on how they can be something more than what they once were. Learning that they don't have to let their worst action define their existence. More than just accepting what they did, and putting in the effort to understand emotions and how to be an active part of life, will mean they are not stubbornly fighting against their affliction. This will increase the speed of it's progression, but also be far less painful of an experience since they won't be actively fighting against it. When Talon is unable to call upon any of their demonic abilities anymore, the physical changes of the affliction will be complete, but they will continue to learn and better themself in an attempt to make up for all the wrong and pain they have caused in their existence. I can picture this happening in two or three decades time, in which there is no longer any hellfire, brimstone or summoned weapons. Talon is no longer a demon, but maybe by then they'll also know if the powers that be would accept a malformed, inexperienced, makeshift samaritan as a stand-in. But that's a hopeful thought, thinking they'll live that long.
Going back to the symptoms of the affliction. Previously, Talon's form was one of shadow and brimstone, and they were able to phase in and out of being corporeal at will. Over time, this ability has been weakened - only able to vanish as a shadow for a moment at a time. Brimstone skin was made brittle until it fell away to soft flesh, hollow bone, and hair. Feathers have begun sprouting through this softer skin too, mostly across their left shoulder, arm and chest, but are beginning to sprout along their throat too. Talon used to pull them out by hand, but has forfeited the fight. Back to the left arm, a sort of carapace has begun to form over their left hand, along the thumb's metacarpal and back of the hand in layers of grey ash and weathered gold. This and the growth of the feathers is very similar to Varus' - the angel in which Talon killed and drunk the blood of - own feathers and angelic arm. But without any of the matching powers, it is a far less grand sight.
Although still considerably hot to the touch, Talon's core temperature has drastically lowered compared to the past. Whatever organs of malice and bile a demon has have made way for a growth in their chest, helping pump the foul angelic blood and pesky emotions around their body routinely, and push out more of their demonic essence every day, little by little. With this, it has already made their demonic powers incredibly weakened. Previously Talon also used to be able to disintegrate bodies with a slice of their hellish blades, but they just do not run hot enough anymore. The final physical symptom are their eyes. Once filled with hellfire, it is far more likely nowadays to see their extinguished, golden-brown irises instead. It is slightly controllable with their emotional state, or when using their powers though.
In other ways, the blood has made Talon far more empathetic, given them a conscience. Troubled with how their actions will effect others now, the suffering and cruelty of the world has become a pain all it's own. Dulling the delight in spreading fear and even disturbing the once simple exchange of souls, Talon is often contemplating their next course of action instead of only giving thought to their best interests. And how their previous, often violent actions, have caused so much.
The agony and illness of coughing up feathers and demonic bile leaves talon haggard and frail. Getting sleep and relaxation would help the most, but with their paranoia it is difficult for them to find places to fully lower their guard and properly rest. Talon's tried to get a room in the crossroad saloon before, but it's... never really worked out (Gragas doesn't let them). Hating and damning the ailment only makes it worse, since it's basically like trying to separate themself from something that has already been mixed in. Feathers get stuck in their many teeth, skin itches from keratin growing in. Fatigue and sensitivity to their own heartbeat. Talon tries their best to hide the majority of their symptoms. Their coughs and exhaustion are the most obvious.
For how the changed made by the affliction is making talon feel... I'm going to paraphrase from a previous message;
I say its dysmorphic but the more I think about it, it's also… having your health decline and your body changing along with it, at least with talons perspective right now since they're losing their demonic powers. dysphoric in the way that they're still holding on to the thought that this isn't what they're supposed to be, they're Supposed to be a being of shadow and hellfire not flesh and bone, let alone feathers and sympathy. so I want it to be much more about accepting that this is their body now moreso than finding a way to reverse the changes. That it's okay to change with age and wisdom as you open yourself up more to the world.
At this time, Talon misses being completely monstrous, of being frightening and having that implicit respect. They feel weaker than they really are because they continue to compare themself to the long-gone height of their power, and because their new physical changes make them feel vulnerable. Being constantly exhausted also doesn't help with any of this. Beyond this though, the only other thing they don't like about these changes is just that; it's different. The uncanny features still don't feel like that that's who they are, and there is this disconnect when others react to them, or comment on their looks.
poses I don't know, maybe Talon just needs some sort of big motivation to no longer see this affliction as a curse, but as an opportunity to be more than a demon that skulks in the shadows. And some encouragement that yes, that is in fact a good thing. Maybe like an ultimatum of some sorts.
#‡ ask#‡ the end is comin' for us all | high noon#windchaser#and talon tries to share nothing of any of this <3 keep it nice and secret#'maybe like an ultimatum or smth' the words of someone with three seasons and a musical retelling in their brain#i would like to think i answered everything. not concisely. but-#if you need clarification on anything or wanna know anything else lmk...#ive been wanting to draw up talons previous form(s?) for a while now#they call me the yapper because i be going ON AND ON AND ON#thank you for asking mars ! i love getting my thoughts and thinkings about things out there instead of just rotting away in my mind palace#i am not sure what to tag this as but if it makes anyone too uncomfortable lmk ill sort out a tag#long post /#body horror /#ask to tag /
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Welp Alchemy Stars CN Servers got their official EoS announcement, it's only a matter of time before US/Global also gets theirs, but the announcements are lowkey hopeful
To summarize the announcement:
CN server will close on January 25th, 2025
There will be a special main story event as the final update.
Players will receive 1000 pulls and 6* Aurorian though mail box until the server close.
Until the server close, CN players will be able to convert their remaining currency to other games from Tencent (such as Honor of Kings, PUBG Mobile, etc...). There is a specific rule apply to this conversation though.
After the server close, players will be able to download a standalone offline version of the game, and the Aurorians with their skins data is retained, along with some basic services.
Standalone offline DOES sound great and makes me kind of hopeful that the whole IP isn't just shelved (unlike Dragalia sob) so maybe down the line we'll get something more from them
#also FUCKKKKK tencent everything they touch withers and rots away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sayonara...tourdog
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”everything in the smile 2 movie is fake!” Okay well not quite I don’t think. I definitely think MOST of it is fake(Gemma interactions were fake except the call, whole ending shit was a hallucination, Skye wasn’t actually drinking water yadada) but I DO think Morris was real. But only for that one time. At the end of the movie he was DEFINITELY not real.
I feel like saying EVERYTHING in the movie wasn’t real is kinda boring ngl. Because like I do think Morris had a good plan, and that’s why when Skye denied him the entity swooped in QUICKLY so she wouldn’t get another chance. And if I was that MF I’d do the same.
#Tbh Morris should’ve texted her all in the same day about everything instead of spacing shit out#ALSO I do NOT think Morris was gonna actually like revive her or some shit. I think he was just gonna like lock her away somewhere#Let her die alone then leave the entity to maybe like rot away or just stay trapped with her forever#rambling#smile 2#skye riley
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you guys ever hear a new song and frantically conceptualise a whole AU around it, starring your current Main Blorbo? or is that just me?
#having a lot of thoughts for someone who's brain rotted away#also this is me asking everyone to drop their indulgent song aus in the comments/reblogs#i can and will get super hyped over them Don't Think I Won't 😈#please don't ask me about this current au i'm cooking up because i'll either infodump about it in a huge post or just refuse to divulge it#it's a toss-up between my social anxiety and my Need To Scream Everything I'm Thinking. you never know which one's gonna win 😔#thoughtless posting#feel free to ignore
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Executor the Ex Foedere
#my art#arknights#executor#the pain of not having him after throwing everything away and still trying#he's my new brain rot
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I'll try (again hahah as if) to only reblog posts from now on. Kill me on sight if you see me vent post again
#johnny's silly rambles#i know not many care but atp it doesn't really matter anyway does it#best to unfollow me now actually#this blog will never see the warmth of the sun again aka I'll stay stuck in this hellhole of a mind and i can't escape it#and so will my blog.#at the end of what I'm currently doing there's only me alone with everyone pushed away and everyone disliking me#so better jump off this train now#I'm just saying#i dislike everything I've ever done and written#and will probably never do anything again#*writing that is#this is over this has to be. no one should pity me this much#no one should endure this just bc you see me as worthy of it. I'm not. I'm really not.#i don't provide anything anymore#i used to maybe but that'll only get worse and worse. nothing i will ever do again will be as good as the things i have done#this is not progress this is rotting away#and atp. fine.
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Frat boy Eli Vanto??? I don’t know really
But he’s def the finance kid who carried his own business cards on campus
#Eli vanto#thrawn books#thrawn series#someone take away my iPad bc everything is I make now is Eli#god damn I’m in love w another Star Wars character#AGGRESSIVE brain rot as of late#my art :)
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#excuse me while i have a very selfish rant in the tags because i've been thinking about it for a while now and i need to get it out#i debated if posting about it or not but there's literally nobody who actually gets what i'm about to say because it's about good omens#and the only good omens people in my life are here on tumblr dkjfhgdg#but i've been feeling really conflicted about this whole situation (as i said... selfish rant)#i am not sure still how comfortable i am about happily engaging with the show and the fandom#not that there's anything wrong with still enjoying it but I MYSELF feel a bit icky. it's been tainted. my enjoyment of it isn't the same#yes it's still a story that's very dear to me and the cast is very dear to me and i am excited for the story's end#but it also bring on horrible thoughts of course because it reminds me of that fucking bastard so it's not like everything is just happines#and what's really rotting my brain right now is the fan animatic i was making... i always planned to come back to it#but then everything happened and now it's not something i want to dedicate so much time an effort to#because it comes with a very dark veil over it... but on the other hand i was incredibly proud of it and i was really REALLY excited#to finish it and share it with the fandom that's so wonderfully dear to me...#so i'm really REALLY struggling to accept both types of feelings right now... feelings that should be mutually exclusive but sadly aren't#one thing that fills me with so much joy also makes me feel like absolute shit at the same time#i very much doubt i'll ever finish and post that animatic now... maybe in the future i will try my hand at a different project#but that also makes me so sad because of the effort and love and pride that went into it already... it just feels like a reminder that#we also fell for the lies... and as i said VERY selfish rant... of course i'm not the victim here. i am nobody#but the feelings are there and it doesn't matter if i ignore them or think i shouldn't be feeling them... they're not gonna go away#so while i can accept that i'm not a victim in this situation and that nothing horrible happened to me... i can still be disappointed right#anyways that's my rant... i will have to look at a piece of art that i poured my heart into and just lock it in a drawer forever#while a veil of horribleness covers everything that has to do with good omens forever...#and of course the reminder that real people have suffered an absolute nightmare of a situation that i could never even begin to imagine#so like... yeah... i'm having a lovely afternoon lol#angel talks#personal
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